I was just a simple mademoiselle living in this vast cosmos. For a long time, I was encaged in a
crepuscular dungeon where an eerie and mournful silence always enveloped the whole corners as if
telling me that I am nothing but a damsel of disgust. I was used of shutting off my existence away from
these abusive gazes towards me—far from their bitter voices. I was like a flower who blossomed in the
midst of the wilderness. I was like a star in the dark firmament who lost its refulgence. I was like a music
with doleful tune and morose harmony. I had firmly believed that this will be my memoir for my daily
diurnal was painted by blues.
I was just watching the silver moon when a sudden voice whispered in my ears—it was hopeful
and gentle. Amidst the tranquil night, I found myself writing my arduous affliction and deepest
sentiments that I kept for so long. My pen became my own sword and my paper became my shield from
the miserable reality of this wrenched world. With my words, I was able to find the solace I so longed
for. The unsaid morphemes were no longer caged inside my turbulent head.
As I let my heart bleeds the endless emotions within me, I had felt that something inside my soul
woke up— ‘twas lost and doesn’t found the light yet, but as I let the prowess of words flow in my
bloods, I had envisioned a peek of light and ‘twas something that I had yearned for years—myself.
The chirping of birds sounds like a soothing lullaby to me and as I look at the blue mist, I can’t
help but to smile for until now I am still alive. I can feel the warmth of the sunshine as well as the
morning breeze of nature the fresh flowers and verdant grasses looks like a season of beginning while at
the top of this mountain, I could feel every touch of the peaceful air on me as if telling me that I should
let go of my fears and doubts and just go along with the whipping wind.
Life’s a maze and sometimes I get confused and lost to where I should turn but even if it is
confusing I will find myself still going on and finding the right direction to go out and that’s what matters
the most— my desire to move forward. Life can be cruel, and scary, and chaotic, and pointless but I will
still find myself resisting, going on, and rising up amidst all these to the extent that I haven’t notice that I
am now stronger than these torments.
As I inhale all these positivities, I am also gradually releasing the anxiety that lives in my soul
upon looking to these beautiful emblems of the cosmos, I realized that I wouldn’t be here if I wasn’t
needed— and that’s my motivation to continue living like I didn’t die before.
In this panoplied world where I had searched the place where I could belong and could fit in—I
found me. ‘tis my self that I lost but now, I found my fragments through scribbling. Yesterday, I thought
that my existence was void but when I found these scattered letters, I had also found my way back
home— the place where I truly belong.