I always had an awful life and I envied everyone who was enjoying their time with their family
whether holding hands or laughing. I didn’t know why but I truly despised how people smiled,
even when they were trying to make me feel as if I was wanted. At my home, it is like thick dark
clouds above it, where my parents always fought. The terrors in my dream and mostly the sleep
paralysis at night feeling as if someone was trying to kill me. I never really got much sleep
because of this. My room is the only place I have right now. My parents never made me feel
wanted, if I go to my mom, she would scram me and if I go to my dad, he would hit me. I rarely
go to school because of my parents’ financial issues so I had to steal books in the library just to
get a sense of education. The only words I know and I ingrained in my brain is “Why did I have
you?” or “You ruined this for all of us!” To tell you the truth, my mom would beat me when she
gets frustrated but am I the one to blame? Those thoughts mostly run through my mind every
day. It was like the world had turned against me.
I wondered if they were people like me who were abused mentally and verbally. I wondered of
the sky for me can turn blue and not dark all the time. One night, my mom was reeked with
alcohol and I could remember this in details.
“Sarah, why are you here in my life?” she said, “why!!
I had flinched due to the bottle was in her hand but I stood firmly, “Mom, why did you have me
then!” I immediately shouted with great anger that built up inside of me and the tears falling
down my cheeks.
“What did you say girl?” She turned around and hit me in the face with the alcohol bottle.
Clash! And the blood flowed heavily down my face. I was hurt inside but I know I couldn’t say
anything because things could escalate more. I ran towards my room and closed the door behind
me. The nerves of my body was in control of itself and the blood was immerged with my salty
tears. I truly hated myself and I was on the verge of not wanting myself to live anymore. I cried
myself to sleep and on the next day, I had a plan. I hid in the closet and waited for my parents to
leave and after that, I packed my bag and I ran away from home.