9 Mindset Shifts That Will Help You Live Your Dream Life
Do you have a big dream or goal for your life? Wondering how
you’re going to get there or what could get in the way? Chances
are, it’s your mindset.
There’s one common theme that underpins many theories about
living your dream life: your mindset, beliefs and the way you think
override everything.
I asked Steph Purpura, Co-founder of Powerful U,[1] what topic
she felt was most important in the area of personal development
and growth, she instantaneously responded, ‘mindset’.
‘Mindset is how you choose to approach any situation. When you
have an open and positive mindset, you are able to see the
possibilities in any situation. When you go in with a closed or
negative mindset, you are severely limiting your experience to the
most negative aspects of any given situation. Positivity opens the
realm of possibilities, while negatively closes down.‘
In his TED talk, Happiness Psychologist Shawn Achor shares,
‘It’s not necessarily the reality that shapes us, but the lens through
which your brain views the world that shapes your reality. Ninety
percent of your long-term happiness is predicted not by the
external world, but by the way your brain processes the world.
And if we change our formula for happiness and success, we can
change the way that we can then affect reality.’
Bottom line: Mindset is everything.
The story we tell ourselves is the story our mind believes. Our
perception creates our reality. Our beliefs create our outcome.
Therefore, the quickest way to live the life of your dreams is to
shift your mindset. The question then becomes, how? How do you
change your underlying beliefs and thought patterns?
Here are 9 mindset shifts to help you live your dream life.
1. Believe in Yourself
From “I’m not enough” to “I am awesome”
So much of what holds people back is the belief they have about
themselves. And one of the most common beliefs? Feeling you’re
not enough, not worthy, not deserving.
Steph, mentioned above, talks about her biggest mindset shift —
learning how to question the lies she had told herself her entire
life.
When she was 8 years old, she was sexually abused. She
remembers standing in front of the mirror and telling herself how
dirty, ugly and awful she was. She blamed herself for what
happened and didn’t tell anyone about the abuse until she was an
adult. She spent a lifetime telling herself lies about herself and
believed them. It wasn’t until she was able to speak her truth that
she was able to question the lies and shift her life.
For whatever reason you feel you’re not enough, know this: You
were born enough. You are awesome, worthy and deserving of
love, happiness and success. It’s not by chance that you have
arrived here, on this planet, at this very time. You are not a
mistake. There is only one you and people need what you bring to
the world.
You are uniquely you. That is your superpower.
You are enough. You may not be able to believe this yet, but
some part of you, deep down, knows this to be true.
Make the Shift

Seek to understand and silence the inner critic. What are your
underlying reasons for not feeling ‘enough?’ Is the inner critic
your own voice, or that of a parent or authority figure? What
story are you telling yourself that is not true? This might take
some deep work including therapy, coaching or counseling,
but it’s worth it.

Check out Marisa Peers’ book, Mark Your Mirror and Change
Your Life and this video.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lw3NyUMLh7Y

Read this article full of insights and strategies to help you build
your self-esteem.
How to Build Self Esteem (A Guide to Realize Your Hidden
Power)
Self-esteem is a driving force behind our confidence, how we see
and feel about ourselves, and encompasses our sense of value,
significance, and self-worth.
Research has shown that over 80% of people struggle with
varying levels of low self-esteem. Yet, having a solid sense of
self-esteem has the chance to positively impact and powerfully
transform every area of your life – from your relationships to your
career, from your health and well-being, to your fulfillment and
levels of success.
A deep feeling of self-esteem is something that needs to grow
and be nurtured over time. In this article I will show you the things
you can do right now to improve your self esteem. Then, you will
realize your hidden potential and your self worth.
What is self-esteem
While the dictionary defines it as “confidence in one’s own worth
or abilities; self-respect”, put simply, self-esteem is the overall
sense or feeling you have about your own self-worth or self-value.
Self-confidence, on the other hand, is more about how you feel
about your abilities and will vary from situation to situation. You
can have great self-esteem (feeling good about yourself overall)
but low self-confidence about a particular situation or event (e.g.
public speaking). Or, maybe you’ve got great self-confidence in
an area (e.g. a sport that you play) but low self-esteem overall.
A strong and solid sense of self-esteem comes from deep within.
From a belief in your importance, your value and your worthiness.
Where does low self-esteem come from
Low self-esteem can stem from many areas. It is largely
influenced by how other people see and treat us, and our
relationships, which is why the influence of our parents has the
most significant impact on our self-esteem.

An unhappy childhood – Those who grew up with critical,
abusive or neglectful parents are more likely to face
challenges with their own self-worth; while those who
experienced acceptance, approval and affection are more
likely to have a higher sense of self-value.

Traumatic experiences – Lower levels of self-esteem can
also stem from bad experiences or traumatic events, such as
something someone said to you or something someone did.
Essentially, it can stem from anything that has brought up
feelings of shame, guilt or lack of worth.

Experiences of failure – For some, lower self-esteem is
connected to their success and accomplishments or lack
thereof – including experiences of failure, not achieving
goals or expectations.

Negative self-talk – Many ‘cases’ of low self-esteem are
perpetuated by negative self-talk. This could be a story that
you have created yourself or that someone else created for
you long ago that you continue to believe.
Maybe for you, like for many others, low self-esteem is rooted in
your feelings about your appearance or body image. It’s not just
about how you look, it’s about how you feel about how you look.
We are bombarded with messages from an early age about being
too fat, too thin, too short, too tall, too much of anything really, or
not enough of something else.
What happens when you lack self-esteem
Low self-esteem can lead to significant physical and mental
health issues including anxiety, depression, eating disorders and
addiction. In fact, research shows that adolescents who suffered
from low self-esteem grew up to have more physical and mental
problems, higher rates of criminal convictions, lower earnings and
challenges with long-term unemployment.
On the flipside, a strong sense of self-esteem will help you
experience greater health and well-being, better relationships,
and higher levels of happiness, fulfillment and success. One study
even correlated higher levels of self-esteem with higher earning
potential.
Assess your own self-esteem
Individuals with low, or compromised self-esteem can see
themselves as inadequate, incompetent and even unlovable.
While they often know at a ‘conscious’ level these things aren’t
true, they still feel that way deeply within. That’s what makes
challenges with self-esteem so tricky. It’s often not about the
reality of what is, but the perception of what someone feels.
Those with low self-esteem may appear socially withdrawn or
quiet, negative, insecure, indecisive, unhappy or even angry.
They are more likely to find themselves in unhealthy relationships,
have a fear of failure and worry about what others think.
On the flipside, those with high self-esteem, more often than not,
feel a strong sense of self-worth and value, feelings of confidence
and acceptance. They tend to find themselves in healthy
relationships (and ditch the bad ones), take care of themselves,
and are more resilient when faced with setbacks, obstacles and
failures. In general, they tend to stand up more for what they
believe in and aren’t afraid to speak their minds.
Self-esteem can be measured on a scale of high to low: while too
little has its obvious downsides, you can also have too much of a
good thing. Those with an overly strong sense of self-esteem may
appear ‘cocky’, narcissistic and self-important.
This infographic has illustrated the differences between people
with high self-esteem people and people with low self-esteem:[1]
Finding the balance of a strong sense self of self-worth and
humility is an important as we go through life.
How to be build self-esteem (a step-by-step guide)
Self-esteem issues essentially are found in the gap between who
you presently ARE and who you think you SHOULD be.
Paradoxically, most causes of low self-esteem stem from how
others see or treat you, yet the solution to increasing your selfesteem is something that needs to come from the inside out, not
from the outside in.
Building your self-esteem is not an easy task. While I wish I could
wave a magic wand for you, what I’ve learned is that building and
nurturing your self-esteem takes time. But, it is a worthwhile
investment. Once you’ve done the work, you’ll reap the many
rewards and benefits for a lifetime.
Below are some great strategies to start your journey.
1. Get to the root cause, the real issue
Identifying the real, root cause(s) for your low self-esteem is one
of the most important things you can do to build it back up.
We named many reasons above. Maybe one of them, in
particular, resonated with you? Perhaps your parents said you
were ‘never good enough’ or that you wouldn’t amount to
anything. I work with clients all the time who share stories of their
parents’ behavior and the significant impact it has had on their
self esteem.
Whatever experiences you may have had, and whatever the root
issue might be for you, I strongly recommend you get someone to
support you through the process to identify and deal with it. Find a
counselor, therapist, coach or someone who is trained in helping
uncover and address these traumas, past experiences and root
issues. These folks have proven tools, tactics and strategies –
and best of all, they help you experiment in a safe space.
While you may be able to do a lot of work on your own, my
experience is that if you don’t address the root cause, that feeling
will creep back in over time. You can’t run away from the truth.
You can’t band-aid over old wounds. You’ve got to get to the
source. It won’t’ be easy, but if you want to build your self-esteem,
it needs to be done.
2. See yourself how others see you
See yourself how others see you, and talk to yourself as others
would talk to you. What do I mean by this? Think about the
person who loves you the most in this world. Unconditionally.
Now, take a moment, zoom out, and imagine you are standing in
their shoes and watching through their eyes. Look from their
perspective and see yourself as they see you. What do
you notice about you? What would they say to you? What do
they love about you? What do they see in you?
3. Do your best
“Do your best every day”
This guide will help you break your limits and overcome any
challenges you have in order to live your best life.
More motivated. More confident. More competent.
Simple advice is often the best advice. When you do your best
and place your full effort into each and every day, you start
to feel better about yourself.
Now, your best might change from day to day – and some days,
your best won’t be as good as it was the day before. That’s ok. It’s
important to remind yourself that you are doing the best you can
with what you have, right now – at that moment, on that day, in
that situation, with that time frame, your level of skill or
knowledge, you name it.
When you know you’ve done your best, you have no regrets and
nothing about which to feel bad or guilty. If you do your best and
then someone criticizes you, it’s easier to brush off when you
know you did the best you can.
I ask my clients (and myself) this question all the time, whether
they’re ruminating over something they’ve said, thinking about
what they could have done better, or just disappointed about an
outcome they had hoped to achieve. Did you do your best? If the
answer is Yes, then there’s nothing more you can do – until next
time.
4. Engage in activities that satisfy you
They key word here is satisfy. Find things that give you a deep
sense of satisfaction, a feeling of fullness and purpose.
Too often we engage in activities or relationships that leave us
feeling self-conscious, empty or terrible about ourselves. It’s time
to put more focus, time and effort to do those things that feel good
for your body, mind and spirit; and to engage in things that make
you feel whole and full.
Identify what satisfies you mentally (e.g. solving a big problem or
creating something new), emotionally (e.g. hanging out with
friends or volunteering), physically (e.g. exercising, eating right or
taking care of your body) and spiritually (e.g. meditation or going
to your place of worship).
When you engage in something that makes you feel good and
even more importantly, makes you feel worthwhile, you will
experience greater self-esteem.
5. Identify who YOU are and be true to you
Self-awareness and a little soul searching are critical to your
success in life and your self-esteem. In some cases, lack of selfesteem stems from a lack of knowing who you truly are, and the
value you bring. Many of us have spent so much time trying to fit
in and please that we’ve completely lost our sense of self.
Spend time getting to know yourself. Take time to identify who
you are. Some things to think about include

identifying your strengths and talents

acknowledging your value and worth, uncovering your
passions

understanding your values and what’s important to you

thinking about how you want to serve or contribute to the
world

acknowledging your blind spots
6. Accept yourself
Make the decision to accept the imperfectly perfect you. Know
that regardless of what you have been told, what has occurred,
what wrong you have done or what challenges you have faced,
you are enough. You are doing the best you can with what you
have.
We all want to be accepted for who we are. But first, we must
accept ourselves.
7. Stop compromising yourself
When you let others push you around, put everyone else’s needs
before your own, or cave in to what everyone else wants because
you don’t want to rock the boat, it lowers your self-esteem. You
are putting their needs ahead of yours and your mind thinks to
itself, “I guess I’m not that important”. I worked with two different
clients just last week on this very thing. They were both putting
everyone else’s needs ahead of their own – and it was having a
significant and negative impact on their health and well-being.
Now, I’m not suggesting you shouldn’t take care of your kids and
spouse, meet your work deadlines or be there for your friends.
But you’ve also got to take care of you. We compromise
ourselves to fit in, to be loved and to be acknowledged. But if you
are constantly compromising yourself, you will never truly feel
satisfied.
“Never chase love, affection or attention. If it isn’t given freely by
another person, it isn’t worth having”
How often do you let what others think of you or need from you
dictate your actions or decisions?
Be strong. Be assertive. Stand up for yourself. It’s time to identify
what you need. Identify what you want in, and for, your life.
Decide what is important to you. Naming these thing will give you
an ‘inner compass’ to guide you. Then, identify
your boundaries and the non-negotiables in your life. What are
you not willing to put up with anymore? Get clear on these things
now, so when the time comes to push back, stand up or politely
say ‘no’, you have the ‘back-up’ and inner guidance to do so.
8. Look for the good
We tend to find what we are looking for. Put simply, people tend
to (often unconsciously) look for things that reinforce what they
already believe to be true.
The same goes for how you see yourself. If you believe you are
worthless or unlovable, you will find data to back that belief up.
However, if you believe you are worthwhile and beautiful or
courageous and strong, you will soon find data to back that up
instead.
The challenge with those who suffer from low self-esteem is that
they have gotten into a habit of finding what’s wrong. Often, there
is a negative message lodged in their subconscious mind. In
some cases, they’ve just gotten really good at seeing all their
faults and shortcomings.
The easiest way to change what you see? Change what you’re
looking for. Catch yourself doing something right.
Try this: grab a journal, and for the next 21 days–each and every
day–write down 3 things you value, appreciate or like about
yourself. This might include acknowledging your wins or
successes, things you are proud of, or noticing what you feel
good about. While it may feel challenging at first, you’ll soon start
to rewire your brain to see more of what’s right and less of what’s
wrong.
9. Stop negative self-talk
Much of your belief systems come from the negative ‘story’ you
are telling yourself. Your mind believes what you tell it and if the
story you are playing (over and over again) in your mind is one of
the worthless mistakes you’ve made, that’s what you will continue
to reinforce and strengthen in your belief systems.
Tell yourself you are worthless and incapable; your mind will
believe that. Tell yourself you are able and awesome; your mind
will believe that, too.
Catch the negative self-talk and replace it with positive selftalktoday.
10. Find your tribe
Since so much of our self-esteem is influenced by our
relationships and how others see and treat us, it’s even more
critical that you surround yourself with healthy, uplifting,
encouraging and supporting people.
Now, I’m not saying you need to surround yourself with a bunch of
Pollyannas who constantly throw sparkles and compliments your
way. It has to be sincere and true.
Find people who know the real you – people who can speak to
the value you bring, your talents and worth; people who can be
real with you, sharing the positive and the constructive in an
uplifting way.
Find your people. Find your tribe.
11. Take chances
Many great minds have shared that failure has been key to their
success, the stepping stone to their greatness and the catalyst to
their growth. You might have heard the stories about Michael
Jordan being cut from his varsity basketball team, Oprah Winfrey
being told she wasn’t ‘meant to be on TV’ and Steven Spielberg
being rejected for film school not just once, but three times.
Taking chances, experiencing failure and building resilience is key
to increasing one’s self-esteem. After all, if you never take a
chance, you will never know – and you’ll stay stuck in your story.
Each time you overcome a small challenge or bounce back from a
set-back, you build that muscle. People don’t regret failing, they
regret not trying. The more you try, the more you put yourself out
there – the stronger you and your self-worth will become.
12. Find meaning and create goals
As humans, we all need to learn, develop, grow and contribute.
When you are suffering from low self-esteem, this can create a
vicious cycle:
You don’t feel great about yourself, so you don’t go out there and
make stuff happen. Because you’re not being successful, you feel
a lack of self-worth.
It’s time to break the cycle.
Take steps that allow you to become who you are truly capable of
being. Perhaps this is about finding something that gives you
meaning, or maybe it’s about the steps you need to take to get
from where you are to where you want to be. For example, the act
of helping others–contributing, volunteering and being kind–have
shown to not only increases self-esteem, but also happiness,
health and satisfaction.
Start with something small and work your way up. Each small
success will bring about greater confidence and ultimately, a
stronger sense of self-esteem.
Start your journey to increase self-esteem
Let’s be honest, this is not an easy journey. It can be challenging,
but the challenge is what builds depth, strength, character and
resilience. If the reward is greater self-esteem, which leads to
greater relationships, a better career, increased health and well
being, more success, and a greater sense of self-worth, I’d say
it’s worth it.
While you live in a society where you are constantly bombarded
with messages of not being enough and how you could be better,
just remember this:
You are awesome. You are deserving of love, happiness and
success. You are worthy. You are imperfectly perfect. It’s not by
chance that you have arrived here, on this planet, at this very
time. You are not a mistake. And even if you feel inadequate,
unlovable or unworthy, know that you are none of those things.
You are enough! You may not be able to believe this just yet, but
some part of you, deep down inside knows this to be true.
Now, it’s time to take the steps above and realize it for
yourself.
2. Empower Yourself
From “I don’t have a choice” to “I always have a choice”
How many times have you felt trapped or that you didn’t have a
choice?
You may not have control over the circumstances, and life will
likely bring many challenges and difficulties, but you always have
control over two very important things: your choices and attitude.
My favorite account of this shift is Man’s Search for Meaning by
Victor Frankl. Frankl was an Austrian neurologist and psychiatrist
who survived the Holocaust. In his book, he shares,
‘Everything can be taken from us but one thing: the last of human
freedoms – to choose one’s attitude in any given set of
circumstances, to choose one’s own way.‘
If Frankl can choose, when faced with those treacherous and
unfathomable circumstances, surely we all can choose ours.
Make the Shift

Choose. When you find yourself in a situation where you feel
you have no choice, identify your options. What
choices do you have? You can choose to complain or act.
Choose to change or accept your circumstances. Choose to
take one step forward or stay stuck. Choose to speak up or
stay quiet. Choose to look forward or continue to look back.
Choose love or stay in anger and fear. So, what do you
choose?

Identify what you are in control of. A lot of stress, frustration,
fear and anger comes when things are – or feel – out of our
control. When you feel out of control, take a step back and
identify what you can control. This could be one small item or
a shift in your energy or attitude.

Read Man’s Search for Meaning.
3. Believe in What Is Possible
From “It is impossible” to “It is possible”
Whether you think you can, or you think you can’t, you’re right. –
Henry Ford
If you don’t wholeheartedly believe you can achieve something, it
just won’t happen. Therefore, if you want to live your dream life,
you first must believe that’s possible.
For many years, everyone believed it was physically impossible to
run a 4-minute mile. They said the human body was incapable
and your heart would explode.
In the 1940’s, someone ran it in 4:01, a record that stayed for nine
years. Then, in May 1954, Roger Bannister broke the 4-minute
barrier, running the mile in 3:59.4. This didn’t happen solely by
sheer hard work, training and passion. It happened because
Roger believed that it was possible. He knew he could do it. He
trained by visualizing the outcome.
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Less than six weeks later, Australian John Landy ran it in 3:58.
Every year following, more people began accomplishing what was
once thought impossible. Now, more than 1,400 individuals have
run the 4-minute mile.
Once Barrister broke the perception of what people believed was
possible, it opened up others’ minds to believe the same thing.
When they thought they couldn’t, they couldn’t, and when they
believed they could, they did.
The same is true for each of us. That goal, vision or intention you
have for your dream life, do you believe it’s possible? If so, you
are well on your way to making it happen! However, if there’s
doubt or skepticism flooding your mind, the likelihood is low of you
achieving your dreams.
Make the Shift

Change your language. Shift your thinking from There’s no
way to There’s always a way. From It doesn’t work to How can
we make this work? When you find yourself finding problems,
switch to a solution mindset. Edison is famously quoted, “I
learned 10,000 ways not to invent a lightbulb.” He saw each
failure as a step closer to his end goal.

Visualize the outcome. Our minds believe what we show and
tell them; if you can visualize it happening, just like Banister,
your mind will believe you. Imagine your dream life as if it’s
already real. What do you see, hear or feel? Put yourself in
that state of mind.

Have a little faith and believe anyway when logic fails.
4. Believe in the Good
From “looking for the bad” to “looking for the good”
Sometimes when things are falling apart, they may actually be
falling into place. – Tony Robbins
Belief in the good comes in a couple forms. The
world and people.
Let’s start with the world. Studies on confirmation bias have
proven we find what we’re looking for. People tend to (often
unconsciously) look for things that reinforce what they already
believe to be true. If you’re looking for what is good in the world,
you’re going to see that. If you’re looking for what’s wrong, or
believe the world is out to get you, guess what you’re going to
see?
Instead, what if you believed that everything was happening for
your greatest good? Even if it doesn’t seem that way. What if you
assumed that everything was working out exactly as it should and
that the world/universe/God has your back?
Now, let’s look at people. One of the key principles I use in all of
my leadership and team development work is to ‘Assume Positive
Intent.’ We often make assumptions and judgments about others
based on their behavior, without understanding their underlying
motivation. Assuming positive intent requires us to consider
another’s intention before we judge that behavior. This might lead
you to ask questions or seek to see things from their point of view.
Everyone is dealing with something you have no idea about, and
sometimes what seems like an attack or slight against you is
simply someone having a rough day, or just a different style than
yours. How many fights have you had in your own head with
someone who has no idea they even hurt or upset you – only to
find out later it was just a miscommunication or
misunderstanding?
Make the Shift

Replace ‘Why is this happening TO me?’ with ‘Why is this
happening FOR me?’ or ‘What is this going to teach
me?’When you look for the good, the lesson or the intention,
you will find it.

Assume positive intent. Next time someone does something
that upsets you or makes you angry, take a step back and
assume they had a good intention. What were they trying to
achieve? Suspend judgement and seek to understand why
they might have done what they did.

Change what you’re looking for. It’s time to start looking for
those things that support your dream life. Look for the good.
Find the positive.
5. Live in the Moment
From “life is a destination” to “life is a journey”
It’s true what they say, life is a journey, not a destination, so we
might as well enjoy the ride.
If we are always trying to get ‘there’ (wherever ‘there’) is, we’re
missing out on where we are now. The gifts, beauty and the joy
that each moment brings. When you stay in the present, you can
see opportunities, take advantage of the unexpected, go with the
flow and listen to that little voice inside you.
On the flipside, when you are attached to a particular outcome or
the way things should be, you can become disappointed about
the way things actually are. But they are what they are! If you can
take each moment to accept, learn and grow, and not wish things
were different, you’ll find greater happiness and fulfillment.
People often get stuck in the when/then trap. They say, ‘When I
meet someone, I’ll be happy?’ or ‘When I get the promotion I’ll be
satisfied at work?’ or ‘When I have more money, I’ll make the
change.’ You can choose to be happy today. You can find what
you need to be satisfied at work. You can make the change
without the money.
Make the Shift

Be. Here. Now. Being present is powerful, especially when it
comes to anxiety and stress. Our minds are often worrying
about the past or anticipating the future. Being present helps
calm your mind, center your thoughts and bring greater peace.
Get present by practicing mindfulness or meditation.

Get out of the when/then trap. When you hear yourself saying,
‘when, then’, stop and think about what you can do now. Are
you waiting for someone or something to be satisfied or
fulfilled? Can you find that now? Decide to be happy with
where you are now, with what you have today. You can
always choose happiness, joy or gratitude in any moment.
6. Switch Your ‘What Ifs’
From “what’s the worst that can happen” to “what’s the best that
can happen”
We spend so much life fearing the inevitable…and how much of
what you fear actually comes to light? How much energy do you
waste wondering, ‘what if…’, anticipating consequences,
complications, risks and what could go wrong?
All those what-ifs are like an app running in the background on
your phone. They drain your battery. And since worrying will
never change the outcome, why not do something that will?
I see so many people paralyzed by all the what ifs and potential
ramifications of their actions. But the people I’ve seen be most
successful are those who focus on the possibility, the opportunity,
the potential. That doesn’t mean you ignore the risks or potential
challenges; it just means you don’t let them stop you from moving
forward!
Make the Shift

Identify the best that could happen. Identify the positives in
any situation. Instead of identifying what could go wrong,
identify what could go right. If you’re thinking ‘What if I don’t
make the team?’ Switch it to ‘What if I do?’ Instead of
wondering, ‘What if I speak up and lose my
job?” Consider, ‘What if I speak up and get a promotion for my
ideas, honesty and courage?’

Remember this. If you’re having a tough time, feeling stuck in
a rut, or going through something challenging … it’s all good in
the end. If it’s not good, it’s not the end.
7. Be True To Yourself
From “I must fit in succeed” to “I must be myself to succeed”
Do you know what the number one regret of the dying is? A wish
to have… “Had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life
others expected of me”.
Throughout our lives, we are taught who we have to be in order to
fit in and be successful. But what others need and expect from us
isn’t always how we thrive at our best. Often, by trying to fit in, we
lose our unique gifts, talents and even our sense of self.
You can’t compare yourself to others. We think we are competing
against each other, yet we are all running a different race.
Frankly, the only one you really need to compete against is
yourself.
True and lasting success comes from authenticity, congruence
and becoming the best version of YOU.
Make the Shift

Identify and honor on your strengths. Everyone seems to be
trying to fix or improve something. We are all flawed. What if
you spent as much time using your strengths as you do to fix
your weaknesses? That’s what those who are living their
dream life do – harness their unique gifts and talents. They
know they have faults, but they don’t dwell on them or waste
time and energy trying to change themselves. Try this: for the
next 30 days, write down 3 things you like and value about
yourself. This might be talents, strengths, skills or personality
traits. Then figure out how to use those traits more often to
build your dream life.

Find out who YOU are. It’s easy to get caught up in the
expectations of the world. When you are clear about your
values, beliefs, passions and what’s important to you, you are
more confident and self-assured. Get to know yourself at a
deeper level. Self-reflection and self-awareness are the first
steps. Identify what your dream life is, not everyone else’s.
When you know yourself well, you can stand strong in a world
full of competing expectations.

Stop comparing yourself. You are running your own race. You
are not ahead or behind. You are exactly where you are
meant to be. As Teddy Roosevelt said (and my mom
emphasized to myself and my twin sister growing
up), ‘Comparison is the thief of joy.’
8. Where Awareness Goes, Energy Flows
From “watering the weeds” to “watering the flowers”
You’ve all probably heard of the Law of Attraction and how to
manifest your best life. So much of that knowledge and wisdom
comes from where you put your energy.
Many years ago, I was running a training session for a group of
coaches and consultants. At one point, I was feeling insecure and
doubting myself. It was stressing me out and more importantly, I
wasn’t serving the group best.
During a lunch break, I confided in my co-facilitator about my
doubts. He was an experienced trainer and a mentor of mine and
shared something with me I have never forgotten.
‘Tracy, think of your attention like a garden hose. When you are
in front of others, and you’re worried about what they’re thinking,
your attention is not on them. When you’re thinking about how
you sound, if you’re doing a good job, or anytime you’re in your
own head, then the hose is pointing inward and you’re watering
the weeds. But when you put your energy out, your appreciation
on them and you focus on what the group needs, you are turning
the hose towards the room…then you’re watering the flowers. So,
you have a choice, do you want to water the weeds or the
flowers?’
Was that a trick question? Of course I wanted to water the
flowers!
Make the Shift

The grass is always greener where you water it. Want greener
grass in some area of your life? Water it with love, energy and
positive attention.

Stop watering the weeds. Remember, what you feed gets
bigger. Water the flowers you’ll get more flowers. Water the
weeds you’ll get more weeds. Feed your goals you’ll reach
your goals, feed your fears you’ll get more fear.
9. Develop an Attitude of Gratitude
From “what’s missing” to “what you’re grateful for”
Acknowledging the good that you already have in your life is the
foundation for all abundance – Eckhart Tolle
Being grateful is one of the simplest, yet most powerful things you
can do to live your dream life.
Studies continue to prove the benefits from expressing gratitude;
ranging from how it improves relationships, physical and
emotional health, and sleep to mental stamina, energy and overall
happiness.[2]Did you know that it’s physically impossible to feel
fear and gratitude at the same moment?
The next time you feel you’re lacking in your life, the next time you
feel jealous of what others have or unsatisfied with what you
have, try switching to gratitude. Acknowledge all the good in the
world. Recognize all that you have and that you are grateful for.
Make the Shift

Start a gratitude journal. Write down 3 things you’re grateful
for each day. Studies have shown that in just 21 days, your
brain will hold on to this pattern and start finding the positive
on its own. Being grateful invites even greater abundance into
our lives.

Set a gratitude alarm on your phone: When it goes off, find
something for which you are thankful. You can acknowledge
this silently to yourself, or better yet, send a note thanking
somebody in your life.
It’s Time To Ask Yourself …
As you read these shifts, what did you notice? Which one(s)
resonated with you the most? Which do you believe will help you
live your dream life? Which strategies will you try?
Now, take it a step further. Stop scrolling and before you move on
to the next thing, ask yourself a few more questions…

Consider your dream life. What thoughts, beliefs or mindset
shifts do you need in order to create that life?

That goal you’ve been trying to achieve: do you believe you
can? If not, what would it take to believe it?

What assumptions are you making about yourself or others
that are getting in your way?
Are You Ready?
If you’re ready to live your dream life, then it’s time to shift your
thinking.
Shift your thinking, shift your life.
You decide who you want to become. You decide how you get
there. Create the vision you have for yourself and your dream life
and go after it. Remove all the barriers in your way, especially
those in your mind.
Remember, in order to change your story, you must consistently
tell yourself a new story. In order to change, you must be willing to
change. In order to shift, you must have an open mind and desire
to grow.
‘Your beliefs become your thoughts, your thoughts become your
words, your words become your actions, your actions become
your habits, your habits become your values, your values become
your destiny.’ — Gandhi