Tip #1: SMILE!!! Smile every time you start a
practice round to instantly send your limbic
system a different message. Smile every time
you are triggered by something. It doesn't have
to be a genuine smile in order for your limbic
system to benefit. By smiling you are sending a
different chemical message to your brain in
response to your triggers
Tip #5: Remember to continually change your
routine, step outside the box of your habit zone
and do things differently. Changing your
routine recruits neural plasticity in the brain
and helps to make new neural connections. It
can also bring some fun and enjoyment back
into life as you engage with fun and creativity.
Tip #11: if you have an "IT" that is energy or
pain related, then some form of exercise or
physical exertion would be a good challenge
for you. Remember keep it within your
training zone, you may start with only walking
a very short distance (and build up from there.
For anxiety, your challenges would be to pick
something that makes you feel anxious and
work towards doing that activity, or being in
that space. For EMF sensitivities, you may
work with the phone (plugged in or
unplugged, depending on where you are at), or
a short stint in front of the computer.
Again, please remember to challenge yourself
within your training zone, rather than taking
on really big challenges. That being said, it is
important to have some kind of a challenge
followed immediately by a full round of
practice on a daily basis.
Tip #15: Remind yourself that you are
worthy and deserving of a healthy and happy
life. This limbic system impairment is not
your fault, and through this program you now
have the tools to change your experience and
reclaim your health. Everyone is deserving of
the best that life has to offer, including you!
Tip #2: Thinking greater than how you feel
does not mean plodding along pretending to
ignore your symptoms when in fact they are
still greatly bothering you. It means stepping
in, choosing something different (through
practicing, distraction, or other techniques)
and CHANGING YOUR EMOTIONAL
STATE. Remember, just like you don't have to
believe every thought your brain is sending
you, you do not have to buy into your
emotional states either. They do not have to
control you - you can control and change them
by making a conscious choice to direct your
brain to a different pathway. Even if you don't
get to profound joy, a state of gratitude,
appreciation or love can be equally as useful.
Through practice and repetition it gets easier
and you get to experience the profound effects
that stepping in and changing your emotional
state has on your wellbeing.
Tip #7: Sometimes it feels like our thought
patterns or emotional states are too strong to
over-ride, but this is untrue. You have a
CHOICE about what thoughts you choose to
entertain and what emotional states you give
your attention. Start choose that which is
health affirming and believe in your ability to
do this. It may be a lot of work at first, but in
the end it is absolutely worth it!
Tip #12: Remember that the limbic system
likes to create chaos where there is none. It
also likes to make things more complicated
than they really are. So, if you are finding that
you are creating chaos unnecessarily, or
making something complex (like the wording
of your "Past" step having to be just right),
recognize that this is a POP and let it go!
Tip #16: POPs, include not only unhelpful thinking
patterns and body checking, but also emotional
states and coping behaviors as well. We do not
want to continue entertaining any emotional state
that is not in alignment with our health and well
being . At the same time, we want to get out of our
old habits of coping, the old routines or ways of
doing things that allowed us to avoid or kept us
focused on illness. These coping behaviors are
shifted through incremental training by slowing
letting go of old ways of doing things and by
practicing the DNRS steps instead. these coping
behaviors have become habits, even though they
weren't didn't really helping us get better in the
first place. In this category of old coping behaviors,
we can also include other practitioners who are
focused on alleviating symptoms. DNRS is taking
the leap of faith that you now have the tools that
you need to change your brain and that in order to
fully change your brain, you have to stop focusing
on illness and symptoms and make your practice
rounds your "go-to" place any time you notice
thought- based, emotional or behavioral POPs.
Tip #3: Don't get caught up in symptom
checking every time you do a practice round.
Sometimes symptoms shift quickly and
sometimes they don't. Regardless, every time
you step in and do a practice round or a
shortened version of a practice round to
interrupt a POP, you are changing your limbic
system functioning. When those changes are
repeated reinforced and the pathways become
strong enough, you will notice a shift in your
symptoms. In the mean time, you rise above
them, keep the focus on the limbic system
rather than the symptoms, and keep practicing!
Tip #9: Any kind of stress, regardless of
whether or not it is related to your "ITs"
reinforces the maladaptive pathways in your
limbic system.
1) Breathing in to a count of 4 and out to a
count of 4. Do this process twenty times.
2) Breathe in while stating an affirmation
such as "I am calm" and breathe out "I am
relaxed"
3) Spend time in nature
4) Use the guided meditations Annie has
recorded or other guided meditations that
you find soothing
5) Look at the situation from the bigger
picture.
Ask yourself, "In the grand scheme of things,
how important is this really?" or "Is this
situation worth risking a slower limbic system
recovery by allowing myself to stress about
it?" and 6) Try to see the situation from a
different perspective.
Is there a silver lining or something to learn
from the experience?
Tip #13: Don't get into a fighting match with
your POPs or negative thought patterns. This
adds fuel to the fire, rather than putting it out.
Instead, step into the observer of your POPs,
use curiosity to notice the theme or content
(esp. if it is a psychological or emotional POP),
attribute the POP to your limbic system
malfunctioning with a statement like "Oh
there goes my limbic system again" and then
immediately redirect. From the place of
curious observer, it is much easier to redirect
than it is when we are engaging directly with
the POP. Fighting with POPs is a POP itself, so
if you find yourself fighting with your POPs a
lot, add that to your list. This isn't about a
struggle of wills, it is about stepping back and
from that place of observer, choosing
something different.
Tip #17: Things that promote relaxation and
a calm nervous system can be useful.
However, if you are talking to your
practitioners about symptoms, body checking,
and focusing on what is not going well in
order to relay that information to your
practitioners, you will be reinforcing the
maladaptive pathways in your limbic system
and actually making it harder for yourself to
recover. If you can structure your
appointments so that you receive relaxation
and positive reinforcement, without talking
about "ITs" or focusing on body symptoms,
they could be helpful in the recovery process,
but most practitioners don't work that way. If
that is the case, these types of appointments
would be considered old coping strategies and
for the purposes of rewiring you may want to
start slowly cutting back on these things.
Again, your first "go-to" every time you
experience pain or stress is your practice
steps. You may want to weigh the amount of
Tip #4: Be mindful of what feelings you
entertain. Our feelings give us insight into our
thought patterns, so if you are feeling down
chances are you are entertaining thoughts that
are not in alignment with limbic system
recovery. Guilt, shame, feelings of failure or
low self-worth are examples of feeling states
that will keep you stuck. Just like with
negative thoughts, we want to treat these
feeling states as POPs, practice, and redirect
through actively cultivating other feeling
states. Does this mean sometimes denying
what your present "reality" is telling you?
Absolutely, because that "reality" is a false
message coming from a faulty mechanism in
the brain. you can use other methods to evoke
a positive emotional state, such as doing
something you enjoy, listening to great music,
and repeating your proclamation or other
positive statements (say them like you mean
it). With practice, you will be amazed at how
easy it is becomes to shift your emotional state.
Tip #10: There is a misconception that the
bigger the challenge we institute for ourselves,
the more headway we will making in rewiring
our limbic system. This is untrue. You want to
slightly challenge yourself and not over-do it.
When we have a slight challenge we create a
heightened neuroplastic state in our brain,
which allows us to change our neural
pathways more easily. We want to capitalize
on that when rewiring the limbic system. If we
over-challenge ourselves, our brain gets so
entrenched in the old pathways it is harder to
get out of them. Conversely, without
challenges, we are not creating a state in our
brain conducive to making changes easily. You
want to find the right balance between
consistently slightly challenging yourself and
not overdoing it. This balance is different for
each person and will change over time as your
limbic system rewires itself.
Tip #14: Boredom is a form of limbic system
resistance. It is sometimes easy to slip into the
feeling states or beliefs that our practice is
mundane, that it is work (i.e. it takes a lot of
effort), or it is hard. Treat boredom as a POP there is no reason for your practices to be
boring. You can be as creative as you like in
the past memory, so long as you come to a
good feeling place (or act as if you are already
there if you haven't quite made it yet). With
future visualizations, the sky is the limit create as many different possible scenarios
from small to big, and include alternatives that
you may not necessarily do. This helps you to
dream big, expand your mind, think outside
the box and start to see more possibilities for
yourself. We completely let go of the
practicalities around how this future
visualization may come about and simply see
ourselves already there, enjoying every minute
of it.
Tip #18: The point of the future visualization is
to set your brain up for positive changes. We
also want to use that step to really play with
the possibilities available to us and see
ourselves healthy and well in those numerous
possible scenarios. We can let go of figuring
out how these future visualizations would
happen and let go of analyzing whether they
are really realistic, or if we even really want all
of these things to come true. The idea here is
to open your mind up to numerous possible
futures, and to play with the possibilities
without becoming overly attached to any
particular visualization. This exercise prepares
you for many possible changes to come and
also expands the information that your brain
takes in (through perceptual filtering) so that
you can begin to recognize opportunities and
TIP #19: We recommend to do two practice
rounds back to back, with the same memory
and future visualization, during each of these
twenty to thirty minute sessions. As you
already know, one of the laws of
neuroplasticity is repetition, and there is value
to repeating the memories and futures
consecutively.
The best times of the day to practice are first
thing in the morning to set the tone for the
day, before bed (or in the earlier evening if it is
too energizing) to set your limbic system up for
a good night's sleep, and some time in the
afternoon if you are practicing three times per
day. If you cannot practice right before bed,
try doing a gratitude exercise (i.e. writing
about what you are grateful for and why) or
thinking about the best part of your day right
before you go to sleep.
Tip #20: When you are creating a positive
emotional state in your memory and future
visualization steps, remember that any emotion
along the positive spectrum will be useful. While
we ultimately want to get to tears of joy or
connection, anything that creates a warm and
fuzzy state will help reinforce your alternate neural
pathways that you are working to create. Other
positive emotional states that can be accessed
include: Love; Appreciation; Gratitude; Humor
(funny memories); A Deep Sense of Wellbeing;
Enjoyment or Pleasure; Laughter (things that make
you laugh); Feeling Energized, Rejuvenated or
Revitalized; Inspiration; A Sense of Connection;
Awe; Amazement; Fascination
Just a quick reminder concerning pleasure - it is
not helpful to access sexual memories, as this
evokes a stress response in the body. Other
pleasurable memories are great.The more time you
can spend in a positive emotional state in general,
the better (i.e. not just in practice rounds!)
Tip #22: By changing up our routine, we are
starting to change our habits, expand our
perspective and think outside the box.
Something as simple as changing our route to
the store or to work, eating something
different, or doing our morning routine in a
slightly different order, can help us break free
of entrenched patterns in which we so easily
become stuck. It sounds simple and silly to a
certain extent, changing up our routine, but it
brings some of the childlike wonder and awe
back into our lives and can make mundane
tasks a lot more entertaining! We become
more comfortable with change, with doing
things a little differently, which then helps our
brain to take the cue that change is okay (even
fun)!
Tip #26: Rather than focusing on what isn't
going well, let's look at how we would like it
to be, and then use the DNRS protocol to move
towards these possibilities. Each time an "it"
arises, it presents you with an opportunity for
change. You have a choice to either entertain
the "it" and stay stuck, or take the opportunity
and change limbic system function in that
moment. Taking the opportunity to change
may not be easy, but it is absolutely within
your realm of possibility to do so and the
more often you take that opportunity to easier
it will become until eventually your brain will
naturally choose the change.
Reply
Tip #30: In the book, “ A Complaint Free
World” (highly recommended!), Will Bowen
discusses ways of redirecting the conversation
when people go into complaining, as well as how
to catch yourself when you feel compelled to
complain. Below are some of his suggestions,
along with a statement about being happy.
Remember complaining is a POP (regardless of
the topic about which you are complaining!)
A Complaint Free World: Will Bowen
The best way to get others to stop complaining is
through redirection rather than confrontation.
If a person is complaining to get attention, ask
“ Yes, but what is going well for (with) you?” ,
“ What do you like about …” , or “ How would
you ideally like to see this work out?”
If someone complains to remove themselves from
taking responsibility (or states why something
cannot be done), say, “ If this were possible, how
might you do it?” and if they continue to justify
how impossible it is, state, “ I have faith in your
Tip #21: This tip is about staying on track and
motivated. If you have not done so already,
take some time to complete your personal goals
worksheet in your student manual. Take the
time to really consider what your goals are and
why they are important to you. If you have
already done this, go back and review your
goals. See which ones you have met, which
ones you are still working towards, and add
any new goals to your list.
If you are having trouble staying committed
and completing your hour a day of practice,
create a goal to help keep you on track and
consider rewarding yourself for achieving the
goal. For example, you could set the goal of
practicing an hour a day for a full week. Once
you achieve your full week, you treat yourself
to something that you enjoy, something that is
meaningful to you and worth working
towards. This will help you to start to create a
good habit, and after a while, you won't have
to use a rewards system to keep yourself on
track (although (
Tip #23: If your limbic system is preventing
you from imagining the best possible future
scenarios because it wants to be "realistic", note
that this is a POP. Your limbic system is
justifying keeping you stuck where you are at
by preventing you from really stepping into
the warm fuzzies, or happy-feels-goods by
telling you that imagining those things is just
not realistic. This prevents you from stepping
into the altered neurochemical state required
to positively reinforce the new neural
pathways in your brain.
Here's a point to consider: what's "real" is a
matter of perspective. You can see from the
great results that many of our participants have
had in the past, are continuing to have, and are
sharing about here on the forum, that these
great possible realities are very much
"realistic". Don't fall for the bait that your
limbic system is setting out for you, and
remember that in order to change we have to
think greater than how we feel (that including
moving beyond our POPs).
Tip #24: Don't get sucked into thinking that
you are not getting better just because you are
having a setback. There is an ebb and flow to
the recovery process. For the vast majority of
people, this means good days and harder days
(or periods of time). The more you can stay
forward focused, not get caught up in the
details of the difficult days, the better you
become at stepping into the observer of self
and overcoming your challenges. When your
limbic system tries to tell you that you are not
getting anywhere, go back to your journal of
positive progress and commitment to practice
(that's why you have one), and focus on the
exceptions. This helps you become less
attached to the faulty messages the limbic
system is sending and more able to overcome
them through redirecting your thoughts and
emotions, and practicing the steps.
Tip #27: This week's tip is about laughter. laughter
reduces stress hormones, boosts creativity,
enhances communication with others, facilitates
pain management, boosts your immune system,
provides aerobic exercise by stimulating circulation
and heart rate, and releases endorphins to make us
feel better? It can also assist in building confidence
in yourself and building social connections with
others. Some ways to add laughter to your day
include: spending time with people who laugh,
watch a funny tv show, movie, or YouTube clip,
join a laughter yoga club or do laughter yoga at
home, read something funny (like cartoons), read
or share jokes, do fun activities from childhood,
play with children's toys such as a yo-yo or hulahoop, or pull out old photo album and check out
your hairstyle and clothes a few decades ago! If
you've forgotten how to laugh, watch children
play. They laugh on average 400 times a day, while
we adults only laugh about 15 times a day. So, your
goal is to find ways to add a little more laughter
Tip 28: Post on this community forum. It is
easy to fall into the trap of thinking that you
don't have anything worthy to post, or that
your changes or observations aren't as great as
others. But in all truth, every success, no
matter how small, is worth celebrating and
sharing. It is the sign of greater things to
come. You can also post any insights you may
get along the way, or things that help you stay
committed or on track. It is helpful for others
to hear from you, and good for you to step
outside your comfort zone and post. So
challenge yourself this week and post
something (if you are not a regular poster
already!)
into your life!
Tip #30 cont: When someone complains about a
negative attribute in another person, compliment
that person for possessing the opposite trait.
When someone complains to you about someone
else in order to gain power, invite that person to
speak directly to the person about whom they are
complaining. If they say they have and it didn’ t
help, say, “ Then it sounds like the two of you
have more to talk about” and don’ t get involved
any further.
If someone complains to excuse poor
performance, ask them what they would do
differently next time.
When you find yourself around other people who
are complaining and you catch yourself feeling
compelled to chime in, breathe. When something
frustrating happens and you have the chance to
unload your frustrations on someone else,
breathe… Breathe. Breathe and be silent.
“ There is an admitted self-delusional quality to
being really happy. But there is also a self-
(Tip 21# continued)it is always nice to
acknowledge our hard work and successes in
some way).
Keep your initial goals simple and do-able,
then add to them as you get better and better.
Using the example above, once you have
achieved a full week of dedicated practice, you
may then extend it to ten days, or two weeks
to get the reward. From this perspective, you
are breaking down your practice into
achievable chunks of time (like a week or two),
rather than looking at the whole six months
and perhaps getting a little overwhelmed. Of
course this strategy can be applied to other
aspects of the training as well (like catching
POPs, etc.)
Tip #25: Focus on the possibilities for healing,
rather than getting caught up in symptoms.
When a symptoms or POP arises, focus on how
you would like to feel instead, or what you
would like to be thinking about. It is not
enough to stop or interrupt what we don't
want, we have to give our brain something to
replace it.
Tip #29: This week, pay attention to how much
negativity you are entertaining and
verbalizing. Remember that negative
conversations are counter productive to limbic
system correction, regardless of the topic of
conversation. Negativity that has nothing to do
with illness will still reinforce the maladaptive
neural circuitry. So complaining about the
weather, or someone else's poor choices, or
disappointments because things aren't working
out as you had hoped all contribute to limbic
system dysfunction. We want to look at the
world through rose colored glasses for the
duration of our recovery, because we know
that thoughts alone change your brain
structure and function
Tip #30 cont: from the world of those who are
not.’ Life is an illusion. Our perspective is a
delusion. Choose the delusion that brings you the
only thing that matters – choose to be happy.”
P.199
Tip #31: Research conducted by L. Melton,
published in Scientific American in 2004
demonstrates that, for individuals who are
constantly focused on chronic pain, not only
does the hippocampus (in the limbic system)
shrink, but the entire brain actually shrinks in
size. All the more reason to be continually
redirecting your attention and practicing your
retraining steps. One participant shared with
me last last week a tip from her Qi Gong
instructor about transforming pain. The
instructor suggested that every time she notice
the pain, to visualize it transforming into
butterflies and watch it fly away, then redirect
her attention elsewhere. She found it helpful.
Perhaps you will too.
Tip #32: working to overcome your POPs,
please keep in mind the old saying, "What you
resist, persists!" We are not trying to push
away POPs or the feelings of fear and anxiety
that result from the cross wiring, but rather we
want to transform them. Step into the observer
of self, acknowledge that fear/anxiety is there,
and then immediately shift your focus and
attention toward something positive or health
affirming. Remember, what you focus on is
what you get in the picture, so we don't want
to focus on the fear, but we also don't want to
try and push it away either. As we
acknowledge our POPs and fear/anxiety, we
want to do so with compassion for ourselves
and our limbic system. After all, we are only
human. Getting upset, angry, or frustrated
inadvertently feeds the very pathways you are
trying to undo, giving you more of the same. If
you can't get to a positive feeling in those
moments, adopt an attitude of appreciation or
caring.
1) Choose regular times to practice. If we make
something part of our regular routine we are
more likely to do it.
2) Have a practice buddy. We are less likely to
let other people down than we are to let
ourselves down. Have someone you check in
with weekly to help keep you on track and
encourage you.
3) Make a realistic commitment. You'll likely
have a better experience by setting more
modest goals and feeling good about reaching
them.
4) Surround yourself with reminders. Placing
Post-it notes around the house with your
proclamation and other encouraging
statements like "Think greater than how you
feel", and "Life is Good!" can go a long way to
keeping you on track
5) Use your POPs as opportunities to practice
in the moment. Remember, we never want to
let a POP go by unopposed. The more you can
redirect when they arise, the sooner your old
pathways will prune away.
Tip #39: Dr. Christian Northrup, an MD and
author, speaks on the physical benefits of
experiencing and expressing gratitude.
"Research shows that heart-centered feelings
associated with gratitude, appreciation, and
caring are health enhancing. When you find
one thing, however small, to be thankful for
and you hold that feeling for as little as 15–
20 seconds, many subtle and beneficial
physiologic changes take place in your body:
Stress hormone levels of cortisol and
norepinephrine decrease, creating a cascade
of beneficial metabolic changes such as an
enhanced immune system.
Coronary arteries relax, thus increasing blood
supply to your heart.
Heart rhythm becomes more harmonious,
which positively affects your mood and all
other bodily organs.
Breathing becomes deeper, thus increasing
the oxygen levels of your tissues."
Tip #43: When you feel like practicing (the
steps) the least is usually when you need to
practice them the most. Thinking greater than
how you feel in those moments is required to
make lasting positive changes in your limbic
system. Adopt the Nike slogan and "Just do it!"
Tip #33: Sometimes people fall into the trap of
seeking out the next thing to assist in their
recovery. If this is happening to you, know
that this is part of the anxiety and fear
associated with limbic system dysfunction.
Stop looking for the next thing and dedicate
yourself to rewiring your limbic system. You
already have the tools to recovery - the
answers are within!
Tip #36: Sleep Hygiene
One of the jobs of the hypothalamus (in our
limbic system) is to regulate sleep. While
retraining the brain can help normalize sleep,
below are sleep hygiene tips that I use with my
private practice clients to help them create
healthy bedtime routines and to train their
brain to get the most out of their sleep.
Develop good sleep hygiene
Tip #34: After fully recovering, we recommend
that you incorporate practices into your daily
life after to maintain optimal limbic system
functioning. There are many options of how to
do this. Some people continue to regularly
practice the last three steps (past memory,
future visualization and congratulating
yourself). The past memory can become a
present moment of health and wellbeing.
Another option is to continue to practice
observing yourself and redirecting when you
notice any POPs arising (whether or not they
have to do with your original "its"). We highly
recommend this option and you can use it in
conjunction with one of the other practices.
Another way is to use a daily gratitude
practice or loving kindness meditation where
you are actively cultivating positive emotional
states on a daily basis. The idea here is that we
want to continue to reinforce the optimal
functioning through our thought patterns and
emotional states.
Tip #37: Researchers at UCLA have
discovered that labeling your emotions (for
example saying, "I'm feeling anxious right
now" or "This is fear") increases activation in
the frontal lobes of your brain and decreases
activation in your amygdala (fear center in the
limbic system). This means that, by naming
our emotions, we feel less stressed by them.
Next time you are experiencing an unhelpful
emotion, try labeling it before redirecting.
Tip #35: You may find as you are going along
with your retraining, that a lapse in practicing
may occur. You may find other desires and
demands encroaching on your time or you may
find yourself avoiding it when you know you
need to practice the most. This happens for
several reasons. One is because retraining your
brain challenges your old defenses and makes
you vividly aware of the dysfunction that is
happening (in the way of POPs). That can be
uncomfortable and we as humans instinctively
withdraw from pain or unpleasant things. We
need to have faith and courage to move
forward and to trust that our overall wellbeing
is worth enduring a little bit of short term
discomfort.
Tip #38: What determines happiness? As it
turns out, researchers at the University of
California Riverside have discovered that 50%
is determined by genetics, 40% by attitude, and
only 10% by our actual circumstances. If we
follow Dr. Bruce Lipton's work and his
understanding of epigenetics (i.e. that gene
expression is what determines our experiences,
rather than the genes themselves, and that we
can influence that expression), it means that up
to 90% of our happiness can be determined by
us!
Tip #40
Stop Complaining- redirect thoughts into the
positive
From the author of A Complaint Free World by
Will Bowen:
Why People Complain & How to Stop Them
See Recovery Tips on the forum for the full tip
and also Tip #30
Tip #42: This week's tip is about the difference
Tip #41: Remember that your limbic system
likes to discount the positive and solely focus
on what isn't going well. This is why it is
important to record your positive results,
insights, and commitment to practice on a
regular basis. As you repeatedly direct your
brain to focus on these things and further
reinforce them by writing them out, you are
training your brain to expand it's perception
and take in the positive aspects, not only of
your recovery, but of life itself.
between living a health conscious lifestyle and
having limbic system dysfunction. To discern the
difference, I suggest that when making decisions,
you consider, "What would a health conscious
person with an fully functioning limbic system do
in this circumstance?" Health conscious people
consider what they bring into their homes, how
much time they spend in "toxic" environments, and
they take care of themselves in a health affirming
way; however they still engage in life, they live a
balanced lifestyle, they don't avoid being out in the
world, and they don't over-focus on their
surrounding environment. Additionally, once a
health conscious person makes a decision that they
feel is in their best interest, they don't give it any
further thought and they certainly do not obsess
about potential looming threats or about the
decisions they make.
In order to discern whether you are justifying
your limbic system dysfunction or really
making the best decision possible,
Tip #44: The limbic system is our brain’s
center for emotions. So, we can experience
emotional volatility or numbness as symptoms
of limbic system imbalance. Emotions can be
particularly tricky to redirect at times. Strong
emotions can feel so compelling, convincing us
that we have to entertain them. In truth,
however, we don’t need to entertain those
emotions any more than we need to entertain
symptoms or other POPs. The first step in
changing your emotional state is to remember
that you are in charge. Cultivate your observer
of self so that you can recognize the emotional
POPs as they arise. Relabel the emotions by
attributing them to your limbic system [i.e.
“My limbic system is sending me messages of
…(sadness, anxiety,, etc.)”, rather than saying
“I feel …”]. these emotions are false messages
from a distorted limbic system. They are not
the essence of you, nor are they how you truly
feel (beneath the LBI). Being the observer, you
can begin to separate and redirect.
Tip #45: Writing short stories about your
memories and future visualizations can help
you get more deeply into the experience.
When we talk out loud or we write things
down, we are accessing other parts of our
brain and recruiting those parts to assist us in
the rewiring. If you have short stories written
down, you can also refer back to them on days
where you find it difficult to get into the
positive emotions or you feel resistance to
practice. This will help you in reinforcing the
alternative neural circuitry and moving
beyond your circumstances in that moment.
Tip #46: If you find yourself stuck in a battle
with excessive POPs or symptoms and have
practiced and redirected to no avail, take a
break and distract yourself wholeheartedly
into something else that has nothing to do
with health and wellness. Watch a funny
movie, read an engaging or inspiring book,
immerse yourself in a creative endeavor for an
extended period of time. This will give your
limbic system a chance to cool off. After the
break, it will be easier to go back and practice.
Tip #47: Remember that the limbic system
likes to create chaos or make things more
complicated than they need to be. This can
show up in practice rounds, feeling that you
need to re-vamp all of the wording or change
up how things are done. Trying to outsmart
the program is a POP. Keep it simple.
Tip #48: In addition to practicing the steps when
we encounter POPs, we can use positive statements
to counter them. For example, if you experience
worry or fortune telling (i.e. going to “what if…”)
you could tell yourself instead, “So what?”, “I can
handle this”, or “I’ll get used to this with practice.”
If you find you are harsh or critical of yourself, try
statements such as, “I accept and believe in myself”,
“I deserve the good things in life as much as anyone
else”, or “I am worthy of respect”. If you find
yourself getting caught in hopelessness, try “I am
making progress one step at a time, and can
continue to make progress one step at a time”, “I
don’t have to be all better tomorrow”, “I
acknowledge the progress I’ve made and I continue
to improve”, “It is never too late to change”, “I
choose to see the positive. My glass is half full.” If
you get caught in perfectionistic tendencies,
remind yourself, “It is okay to make mistakes”, “I
don’t always have to be …”, “There is an ebb and
flow to recovery. Setbacks are just part of the
process.”
Tip #51: This tip is for those of you who have
trouble sleeping, or wake up in the night.
Try 4-7-8 breathing. This is a strategy
recommended by Dr Andrew Weil, where you
breathe in through your nose for a count of 4,
hold for 7, and breathe out through your
mouth for 8. Complete 3 or more cycles,
repeating every 5 minutes until you fall
asleep. This exercise acts like a natural
tranquilizer and becomes more effective the
more you practice.
Long exhales stimulate the vagus nerve,
putting your nervous system in a relaxation
response sending relaxation messages to your
brain, thus helping you sleep.
Tip #52: Get an accountability buddy if you
don't have one already. An accountability
buddy is someone that will hold you
accountable to your daily retraining
requirements. This is someone you will check
in with once a week every week to discuss
how you did with your practice.
Research shows that when we have someone
else to whom we are accountable, our
likelihood of following through on what we
need to do increases by 60 - 70%. Your
accountability buddy can be someone else
doing the DNRS program or it can be someone
in your life who is willing to assist you with
this.
This will help you to start to create a good
habit, and after a while you won't have to use
a rewards system to keep yourself on track
(although it is always nice to acknowledge our
hard work and successes in some way).
Keep your initial goals simple and do-able,
then add to them as you get better and better.
Using the example above, once you have
achieved a full week of dedicated practice, you
may then extend it to ten days, or two weeks
to get the reward. From this perspective, you
are breaking down your practice into
achievable chunks of time (like a week or
two) rather than looking at the whole six
months and perhaps getting a little
overwhelmed. Of course this strategy can be
applied to other aspects of the training as well
(like catching POPs, etc.)
Tip #53: In order to get the most benefit out
of our practice rounds, to really strengthen
alternative neural circuitry, we need to do the
following 3 things with every practice round:
1. Feel it (say your steps from the heart as
much as you can, make it heartfelt)
2. Mind it (be intentional about what you are
saying. Say your steps with meaning and
conviction, with your focus on what you are
saying)
3. Do it (make it a habit by practicing until it
become a part of your routine, just like
brushing your teeth)
CONT TIP #55
Tip #55: Boredom is a form of limbic system
resistance. It is sometimes easy to slip into the
feeling states or beliefs that our practice is
mundane, that it is work (i.e. it takes a lot of
effort), or it is hard. Treat boredom as a POP there is no reason for your practices to be
boring. You can be as creative as you like in
the past memory, so long as you come to a
good feeling place (or act as if you are already
there if you haven't quite made it yet). With
future visualizations, the sky is the limit create as many different possible scenarios
from small to big, and include alternatives
that you may not necessarily do. This helps
you to dream big, expand your mind, think
outside the box and start to see more
possibilities for yourself. We completely let go
of the practicalities around how this future
visualization may come about and simply see
ourselves already there, enjoying every
minute of it.
CONT TIP #57
Tip #49: The following is a quote from Rick
Hanson, in his latest book called Hardwiring
Happiness. He is speaking about finding or
actively cultivating positive moments in each
and every day, and taking the time to
conscious savor those moments as they occur.
"It's just a few jewels each day. But day after
day, gradually adding up, they become the
good that lasts. It's the law of little things: lots
of little bad things take people to a hard and
painful place, and lots of little good things take
them to a better one. I'm often struck by how
big a change a few moments can make, inside
my own mind or inside someone else's. I find
this really hopeful, since it's the little things
that we have the most influence over." Find
moments throughout your day that you can
savor. When those moments occur, stop and
take a breath with the intention of soaking the
good into each and every cell in your body.
Attune your brain to searching out and
enjoying these little moments as they arise."
If you are habitually stuck in certain
emotional states, I highly recommend the
book "Breaking the Habit of Being Yourself"
by Joe Dispenza. It sheds light on how our
brain getting addicted to certain
neurochemical states and how we need to
think greater than how we feel in order to
change this.
And lastly, remember your motivation. Take a
moment to reflect on why you are rewiring
your limbic system, why it is important to you
to reclaim your health and vitality, and what
will be available to you as a result. Let this
motivate you beyond boredom and fuel you to
take the actions required to guide your limbic
system back to optimal functioning. Boredom
is nothing more than a state of mind that
needs re-directing.
Tip #58: If you are looking to increase your
positive emotions, check out the following
website:
http:/ / www.happify.com/ o/ lp20/ ?sr id=r h
anson&tr id=36
It has science based fun activities and games
designed to increase your level of gratitude
and happiness. Rick Hanson has recently
joined the originators of this website and
there are free activities that you can access
(after you complete a profile).
Tip #56: Any kind of stress, regardless of
whether or not it is related to your "its"
reinforces the maladaptive pathways in your
limbic system. Use the DNRS steps to counter
any type of stressor, and consider
incorporating other tools such as:
1) Breathing in to a count of 4 and out to a
count of 4. Do this process twenty times
2) Breathe in while stating an affirmation
such as "I am calm" and breathe out "I am
relaxed"
3) Spend time in nature
4) Use the guided meditations Annie has
recorded or other guided meditations that
you find soothing
5) Look at the situation from the bigger
picture. Ask yourself, "In the grand scheme of
things, how important is this really?" or "Is
this situation worth risking a slower limbic
system recovery by allowing myself to stress
about it?"
6) Try to see the situation from a different
perspective. Is there a silver lining or
something to learn from the experience?
Tip #59: This tip is for those who are on a
recovery track that is longer than six months.
First, note that there are a lot of factors that
determine the length of recovery and it is not
uncommon for some people to take longer. I
took 9 months to fully recover, and there are
others who have taken over a year. If you are
getting caught up in the length of time it is
taking, treat it as a POP. Remember the focus
is on the goal of recovery and how far you’ve
come to date, not on symptoms or what is left
to change.
Below is a protocol to use to supercharge your
rewiring process and help you proceed.
1.) Re-immerse yourself in the program.
Adopt a beginners mind and go through the
DVDs again from start to finish, completing
the program as it is designed. By adopting a
beginners mind and opening up fully to new
learning, you may gain some new insights and
Tip #50: Here is a link to a youTube video
outlining 40 of the most popular laughter yoga
exercises used in laughter yoga clubs all over
the world. By using laughter yoga between
practice rounds, or at different points
throughout the day, you are decreasing cortisol
(stress related hormone) and strengthening
your immune system, in addition to releasing
endorphins (happy-feel-good neurochemicals)
and changing your mood.
https:/ / www.youtube.com/ watch?v=Fq4k
TZuLops
Tip #54: In order to create lasting changes in
the brain, we must change our behaviors. This
is why we address old coping behaviors as
part of the POPs, and really encourage you to
look at the behaviors you have in place that
are reinforcing the maladaptive neural
circuitry in your limbic system, versus the
behaviors that are in alignment with rewiring
the brain. One of the ways in which we all
change our behaviour in the program is
through incremental training (rather than
avoidance).
Our brains don't like incongruence between
attitude and behavior. Where there is
incongruence, research indicates that you are
more likely to revert back to the attitude that
matches your behavior rather than the other
way around. Start behaving in a way that
matches your new attitude and beliefs. It will
further reinforce the changes in your limbic
system and keep you on track for lasting
change.
Tip #57: This tip is about staying on track and
motivated. If you have not done so already,
take some time to complete your personal
goals worksheet in your student manual. Take
the time to really consider what your goals
are and why they are important to you. If you
have already done this, go back and review
your goals. See which ones you have met,
which ones you are still working towards, and
add any new goals to your list.
If you are having trouble staying committed
and completing your hour a day of practice,
create a goal to help keep you on track and
consider rewarding yourself for achieving the
goal. For example, you could set the goal of
practicing an hour a day for a full week. Once
you achieve your full week you treat yourself
to something that you enjoy, something that is
meaningful to you and worth working
towards.
Cont #59
2.) Really practice stepping into the curious
observer of self. We cannot change what we
are not aware of, so awareness is a necessary
first step. We all have blind spots about
ourselves, and by practicing being a witness
to yourself you are minimizing the un-noticed
aspects of the self. Stop periodically
throughout the day (I would recommend 3 – 6
times per day consistently) and ask yourself,
“What am I thinking? How am I feeling? Is it
health affirming?” If the answer to the last
question is “no”, then it is time to redirect
using the steps. The more you practice
observing yourself the easier it will become
and your mind will begin to do it naturally.
Please note you are not analyzing your
thoughts and feelings, simply noticing them
and whether they are in alignment with
recovery or with dysfunction. From that
noticing you either continue or redirect
(depending on whether or not they are health
Cont #59
3.) Recruit others in your life to help you
notice your POPs. Go through the POPs list
with them and ask them what POPs they
notice you doing. Recruit their help in
bringing it to your awareness as it happens.
Often un-noticed POPs, especially excessive
body checking and using symptoms to
measure progress or recovery, increase the
recovery period.
cont #59
Relaxation or breathing exercises, guided
meditations, and setting your intention to let
go are all useful. One of the questions I used to
ask myself was, “In ten years from now am I
even going to remember this? Is it that
important?” If the answer was, “no” then it
was time to stop sweating the small stuff.
Read the poem “She let go” to yourself on
daily basis (you can google “She Let Go Poem”
and readily access it), and stay forward
focused.
6.) If you are over focused on the limbic
system and its importance, shift your focus to
building your frontal lobes (area for higher
learning and center for executive function).
Remember that which you give your focused
attention strengthens.
7.) Have fun! Practice enjoying life, change
your routine, take up something new. This
will give you a positive focus away from
health and wellbeing. It will give your system
a break while at the same time reinforcing the
alternative neural circuitry.
Tip #62: Below is a quote from Joe Dispenza
“Usually when people step into the river of
change, that void between the old self and the
new self is so uncomfortable that they
immediately slip back into being their old
selves again. They unconsciously think, This
doesn’t feel right, I’m uncomfortable, or I don’t
feel so good. The moment they accept
that thought, or autosuggestion (and become
suggestible to their own thoughts), they will
unconsciously make the same
old choices again that will lead to the
progression of the same habitual behaviors to
create the same experiences that automatically
endorse the same emotions and feelings. And
then they say to themselves, This feels right.
But what they really mean is that it
feels familiar.
Once we understand that crossing the river of
change and feeling that discomfort is actually
the biological, neurological, chemical, and
even genetic death of the old self, we have
power over change and we can set our sights
on the other side of the river.
Tip #64: Please find below the wonderful
practice pointers that were compiled by one
of our past participants. She shared these
points with our newest in person program
class (that will be graduating tomorrow), and
was gracious enough to allow me to share
them with you.
4.) Make feeling good your “go-to” state
throughout the day, as much as you possibly
can. Read Hardwiring Happiness by Rick
Hanson, or use the happify.com website to
help you in this area if you need a boost
5.) Manage your stress. Stress is toxic to the
brain and can get in the way of a timely
recovery. Again through the curious observer
of self, begin to notice your stress or anxiety
levels and any pressure that you may be
putting on yourself. If circumstances can be
altered to remove the stressor, then do so. If
not, be the alchemist of your experience and
Tip
#61:
Don't
sucked
into
thinking
that
change
how
youget
relate
to the
stressor.
Cont
you are not getting better just because you are
having a setback. There is an ebb and flow to
the recovery process. For the vast majority of
people, this means good days and harder days
(or periods of time). The more you can stay
forward focused, not get caught up in the
details of the difficult days, the better you
become at stepping into the observer of self
and overcoming your challenges. When your
limbic system tries to tell you that you are not
getting anywhere, go back to your journal of
positive progress and commitment to practice
(that's why you have one), and focus on the
exceptions. This helps you become less
attached to the faulty messages the limbic
system is sending and more able to overcome
them through redirecting your thoughts and
emotions, and practicing the steps. Remember
too, that in the book "The Brain that Changes
Itself" neuroscientists working with stroke
victims identified that, when progress seemed
to plateau, the brain was doing intense
reorganizing and creating new connections.
cont tip #63
love and appreciation generated by the
research subjects caused the DNA strands to
unwind and exhibit positive changes in just 2
minutes.
This may be the first scientific evidence of the
long-held theory that emotion greatly affects
our health and quality of life. This is positive
proof that DNA and health are related, and we
can communicate with and "program" our
DNA through emotion — and thus, change the
very blueprint of our health and our life. If we
can influence the behavior of DNA and health
in a test tube, what untold health benefits
might we experience by changing the DNA in
our bodies?"
Tip #66: If you need another reason to
interrupt your POPs (especially worrying or
fortune telling), this is a good one!
A study in Clinical Psychology &
Psychotherapy found that 85% of the stuff we
worry about end up having positive or neutral
outcomes. And even when the outcome is
negative, 79% of the time, worriers say they
handled it better than they thought they
would.[1]
[1] Leahy, R. (2008). How Does Your Worry
Make Sense? Psychology Today.
Cont #62
If we embrace the fact that change is the
denaturing of the hard-wired circuitry for
years of unconsciously thinking the same way,
we can cope. If we understand that the
discomfort we feel is the dismantling of old
attitudes, beliefs, and perceptions that have
been repeatedly etched into our cerebral
architecture, we can endure. If we can reason
that the cravings we battle in the midst of
change are real withdrawals from the
chemical-emotional addictions of the body,
we can ride it out. If we can comprehend that
real biological variations are occurring from
subconscious habits and behaviors in which
our bodies are changing on a cellular level, we
can forge on. And if we remember that we are
modifying our very genes from this life and
from untold previous generations, we can stay
focused and inspired to an end.”
Dr. Joe Dispenza – You are the Placebo: making
your mind matter, p.65
cont #64.
o
o
o
o
o
o
o
For more information, see the above website
or read the TIME Magazine cover story
titled Why Your DNA Isn't Your
Destiny which shows that scientists are now
able to use epigenetics to silence bad
genes and jump-star t good genes.
Tip #60: Ways to Overcome Procrastination
1.) Do a “Five Minute Take Off”. A Five
Minute Take Off means dedicating only 5
minutes to an activity, and then evaluating
whether you wish to continue after the 5
minutes is up. Usually people find that getting
started is the problem and once they get going
it is easy to continue on. Some days it make
take a few “5 minute take offs” before you get
on a roll, and that is okay. Get in the habit of
giving it just 5 minutes, and see where it takes
you.
2.) Contrary to popular belief, strong desire is
not a prerequisite for taking action. Adopt the
Nike slogan and “Just Do It”. Rather than
waiting to feel inspired, just start. Set a specific
time daily and put it in your appointment
calendar to help you.
3.) Reward yourself. Intrinsic motivation
sometimes isn’t enough. Having rewards built
in for yourself in order to create a habit around
practicing can be useful. Reward yourself with
something that you really enjoy or appreciate.
o
o
PRACTICE POINTERS
1. Love your self fir st and most. It is fr om
this place you have all you need to be of
value to other s.
this is a self-full love, not a selfish love
you are your number one priority
2. Make pr actice number one on your to-do
list ever y day.
life fits around practice instead of practice fits
into your life (see #1)
if you have more than you can accomplish in a
day, pick something else to eliminate
3. Ser enity is inver sely pr opor tional to
expectations.
re-wiring takes time
it is not a linear process
Tip #67:
There is a section in Joe Dispenza's new book
"You are the Placebo" that talked about a
study where pregnant women were given a
placebo to reduce the nausea of morning
sickness, which worked. They were then given
Ipecac (which actually makes you vomit and is
used in cases of food poisoning) but were told
that it was a morning sickness drug. It also
reduced their symptoms. So even though
they wer e given something actually
designed to make them sick, not only did
they over r ide the effect of that dr ug but
thr ough their belief of its effectiveness
they decr eased their mor ning sickness
symptoms as the same time.
Know that regardless of what medication your
taking, or how "real" or "active" your
symptoms are, you can override them through
retraining your brain!
o
o
o
o
o
o
o
o
You can live in the pr oblem or you can live
in the solution.
it is all in your brain
practice, practice, practice
5. Cr eate the conditions for success.
be well rested
create a recovery bubble for yourself (see #1)
6. Use ever ything DNRS has to offer
joint practice
forum
coaching
7. Notes about r ounds
mini rounds (MRs) anywhere, anytime
be creative with PMs and FMs – they don’t
need to be real or even plausible
re-write past memories
have fun
Tip #68: What you think about in the minutes
before you go to sleep is what your brain
processes for the first four hours of sleep. If
you are not practicing rounds right before
going to sleep it is important to do a gratitude
practice or evoke a positive emotional state
through a future visualization so that these
first four hours can work in your favor,
toward recovery, instead of against you.
Cont tip #60 4.) Go public with your
commitment to practice. When we make it
public, we are more likely to actually follow up
and do it than when we commit to something
privately. Having to be accountable to others
dramatically increases your likelihood of
success.
5.) Use the team approach. A buddy or group
of buddies can help us take action and sustain
action.
6.) Shift your perspective. Rather than seeing
practice as hard work and something that you
have to do, recognize it is something that you
choose to do. Nobody is making you do it. It’s
your choice and you are choosing to do the
program so that you can increase your quality
of life. Remember why rewiring your limbic
system is so important to you and re-inspire
yourself to act.7.) Make it enjoyable. Have fun
with your rounds, change up how you do
things to introduce novelty (which will engage
your frontal lobes even more). Try singing,
dancing, being silly, playing games, or
incorporating laughter yoga.
Tip #63: Excerpt taken
from: http:/ / www.howtor epr ogr amyour dn
a.com/
"Did you know that you can actually program
your DNA to create a healthy body in as little
as 2 minutes? Here's how: DNA, which is the
"blueprint" of life that carries the genetic
information in your cells, governs the
development and functioning of the human
body. It is a widely held belief that DNA, which
is shaped like a double helix, has a fixed
structure and cannot be changed.
But a recent study from the Institute of
HeartMath has shed startling results that
challenge what we thought we knew about
DNA. In the study, human DNA was placed in a
sealed test tube. Test subjects who were
trained to generate focused feelings were able
to intentionally cause a change in the shape of
the DNA.
Negative emotions, produced at will, caused
the two strands that comprise human DNA to
wind more tightly. Heart-centered feelings of
Tip #65: Trust the process. There will be ups
and downs. There will be times when you
notice the forward movement, times when
you feel you've taken a step backward or
plateaued in your progress. This is all normal,
and part of the recovery process. Don't get
caught up in POPs around this or interpreting
the back steps or plateaus to mean anything
other than you are on your way to recovery.
Trust the process. If you keep working your
brain, it will start working for you (in a good
way!).
Tip #69: Learning from failure
It is unrealistic to expect that our practice
rounds, our new emotional states, or catching
our POPs will go perfectly right from the
beginning. Remember back to when you were
learning how to walk. You fell many times, at
the very beginning you often fell even before
taking a step, before you actually got the hang
of putting one foot in front of the other. If,
after the first few tries, you had said to
yourself, “this isn’t working”, “I can’t do it”,
“Nothing is changing”, you would never have
learned how to walk. What you did was get
back up, dust yourself off, and try again. And it
was through that repetition, through the joy of
learning, and through keeping your eye on the
prize (the happiness and freedom that comes
with being able to walk) that allowed you to
master walking. And, you were likely able to
enjoy the process because it wasn’t about
doing it perfectly, the focus was on the
Tip #70: This tip is about the role of exercise in health and
Tip #69 cont.
wellbeing. John Ratey, M.D., author of Spark: The
Revolutionary New Science of Exercise and the Brain sums it
up nicely:
Even after you learned to walk successfully,
there were times where you would still fall.
That is the nature of life. But that didn’t stop
you from getting back up and continuing to
walk.
"In a way exercise can be thought of as a psychiatrist's dream
treatment. It works on anxiety, on panic disorder, and on
stress in general, which has a lot to do with depression. And it
generates the release of neurotransmitters - norepinephrine,
serotonin, and dopamine (the "feel good" chemicals in our
brain)- that are very similar to our most important
Recognize that every time you fall you have a
moment a choice. You can use that fall as an
excuse to quit and give up, or you give
yourself permission to be human and know
that change has its ups and downs, get up,
dust yourself off, and put your focus back on
the prize. And it is through this dedication and
determination that ultimately you will
succeed, that you will gain the freedom that
comes with optimal health and wellbeing.
psychiatric medications. Having a bout of exercise is like
taking a little bit of Prozac and a little bit of Ritalin, right
where it is supposed to go (and without the side effects!)
Apart from mental health benefits, exercise also boots our
immune system, improves our self-esteem, improves
cognitive functioning (including memory, focus & creativity),
& reduces the likelihood of chronic diseases, Alzheimer's &
dementia.If you are having trouble getting started or getting
into a regular exercise routine, start small. Dedicate yourself
to 5 minutes a day. Every little bit helps. Also, don't fall into
Tip #71: This week's tip is a writing exercise
to assist you in further supporting the healthy
alternative neural pathways in your brain.
Write about a short story about a memory or
a future visualization, but instead of just
including the details of the event, include
what you were thinking, how you felt at the
time, and how you were behaving. Once you
have completed the writing, take an extra few
moments to reflect and then write about what
it felt like when you were writing down your
short story. Research shows that by including
the ABC's [affect (emotion), behaviour, and
cognition (thoughts)], and then reflecting on
what it was like to do the written exercise,
you fortify the neural pathways and are more
likely to have a peak experience (entering into
the Gamma brainwave state, which is super
helpful in rewiring the limbic system).
Tip #72:
"Never forget that you are one of a kind. Never
forget that if there weren't any need for you in
all your uniqueness you wouldn't be on this
earth, you wouldn't be here in the first place.
And never forget, no matter how overwhelming
life's challenges and problems seem to be, that
one person can make a difference in the world.
In fact, it is always because of one person that
all the changes in the world come about. So be
that person."
- Buckminster Fuller
the trap of thinking that you have to feel like doing it before
you exercise. Adopt the Nike slogan and "Just do It". Feeling
good will come as a result of engaging in the activity."
Tip #73: Every time you feel yourself being
pulled into other people's drama, repeat these
words:
Tip #74: How to get the most out of
practicing with a partner
When doing practice rounds with others over
the phone or via Skype, please keep your
conversations strictly to the following:
1.) Completion of the practice rounds
"Not my Circus. Not my Monkeys!"
- Polish proverb
2.) Sharing any positive shifts you've had or
sharing something you are grateful for.
It is really imperative to stick to the guidelines
of the program during these conversations.
You can help each other do this by not asking
"How are you?" and by reminding your
partner of the program guidelines if the
conversation slips into symptoms or "its".
Remember that these guidelines are in place
for a reason and it is in the best interest of
both of you to stick to those guidelines so that
you can more efficiently and effectively
rewire your limbic systems. If your partner is
struggling, suggest coaching support.
Tip #75: Happify.com (a great website to
check out, if you haven't already) promotes a
framework to help you build five happiness
skills. All of these skills have shown to
improve quality of life in one way or
another.The acronym for this framework is
STAGE
S - Savor - a quick way to boost optimism by
noticing the good around you and taking extra
time in the moment to enjoy it.
T - Thank - identify and express appreciation
for the things people do for us.
A - Aspire - allow yourself to be hopeful, set
goals and have aspirations for the future
G - Give - as we give to others, we feel happier,
more connected and more open to new
experiences. Try doing random acts of
kindness.
E - Empathy - empathy assists us in nurturing
the relationships we have in our lives and can
help to shift out of negative thought patterns
and judgments. Self compassion has been
shown to lead to healthier, more productive
Tip
lives.#79:
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Tip #76 General Practice Tips:
Minimize distractions. Give your practice your full
focus and attention.
Say the steps with meaning and conviction. Your
brain will get more out of your rounds this way.
Bring in lots of detail in the memory and
visualization sections. Use all of your senses.
Move your body and speak the steps out loud.
Bring in music, singing or dancing if you wish.
Be silly.
Smile even if you don’t feel like it.
Practice gratitude. Be aware of those POPs
sneaking in and stop them in action.
Laugh when you feel a reaction coming on, or
laugh at your POPs.
When you say “Stop, stop, stop” you are talking to
your limbic system, not your symptoms. Your
symptoms will shift as your limbic system shifts.
Remember to smile before each round of
practise.This sends your limbic system a different
message right away, which helps it to come out of
a stress response.
Think back to what you liked to do as a child and
start to incorporate some of these games &
activities in your life.
Tip #78: Tips for making your practice more fun
and engaging:
Tip #77:
“There is a light in this world, a healing spirit
more powerful than any darkness we may
encounter. We sometimes lose sight of this
force when there is suffering, too much pain.
Then suddenly, the spirit will emerge through
the lives of ordinary people who hear a call
and answer in extraordinary ways.”
•Envision symptoms as outrageous and laugh
about it.• Choose to change your attitude about
practice. Know how much good the practice is
doing for you.• Do the steps in the mirror.
• Use appreciation, beauty and joyful language,
memories, and visions.• Focus on every single
positive change you notice, no matter how small,
write them down and celebrate your success. Read
them regularly for motivation.
• Know that the limbic system will resist changes
at first. One of the forms of resistance is not
wanting to practice the steps. Remember that in
order to change we need to think greater than
how we feel and practice anyway. Override those
thoughts and feelings. Like the Nike slogan says,
“Just do it!”
• Remember that you don’t have to wait until you
feel like doing something in order to get started.
Think greater than how you feel, go ahead and do
it anyway.• Change up the words that you use in
your practice rounds. Introduce some novelty.
This tip is about getting the most out of your
future visualizations.
Research has shown that visualizing is far
more effective when we visualize not only the
end goal but also the path to getting there.
This is why it is important to have some small
future visualizations, things that you think
you can achieve relatively quickly. These are
stepping stones to the ultimate goal of full
recovery. Also, consider including
visualizations of yourself doing your daily
practice, catching POPs, easily cultivating and
sustaining positive emotional states, and
engaging in helpful behaviors that move you
toward your goals. These visualizations will
also help support your recovery.
Tip #8: Support your brain with good nutrition,
proper hydration and exercise. Even if your
"ITs" prevent you from doing a lot of exercise at
this time, know that your brain benefits from any
amount of exercise. Review the page on Brain
Nutrition in your student manual for more
information on how to give your brain the
building blocks it needs to function optimally.
Why People Complain & How to Stop Them
Tip #40: From the author of A Complaint Free
World by Will Bowen:
Tip #6:
Distract into the joys and the beauty a holiday or
the holiday season. Take time to appreciate the
lights and decorations, and perhaps the sense of
giving, generosity, and connection with others
(its all around us). Remember that the limbic
system likes to focus on what is not going well,
what is missing, rather than the opposite. By
taking time to appreciate the beauty & kindness,
having gratitude for what is, you are resetting
your brain to filter in the positive experiences in
life, and chemically flooding your brain with a
cocktail that will assist in reinforcing alternate
neural pathways.
"In Think and Grow Rich, Napoleon Hill taught
the world that our thoughts create our
lives. But, our words indicate what we are
thinking. Complaining keeps our focus on what
is wrong rather that what wish to create.
Numerous studies have found complaining to be
detrimental people’ s health, happiness,
relationships and career. You would think that
we would catch on to this and quit of our own
accord. However, most people have no
awareness of how much they complain.
Complaining is like bad breath. We notice it
when it comes out of someone else’ s mouth, but
not when it comes out of our own. Dr. Robin
Kowalski of Clemson University has identified
five reasons that people complain. As you hear
yourself and others complain you will find that
all complaints are spoken for one or more of
these reasons. I’ m going to share with you a
pneumonic device to help remember the five
Tip #80: To get more deeply into relating to
yourself from a place of love and compassion
when in the "higher self" position in your
practice rounds, try placing your hands on
your heart while speaking to yourself. This
self-soothing gesture can assist us in evoking
stronger feelings of love, nurturing, and
compassion for ourselves
Remember this acronym: G.R.I.P.E.
Get Attention
Remove responsibility
Inspire envy
Power
Excuse poor performance
Get Attention – Human beings have an inherent
need to be acknowledged by other
people. Attention from others makes us feel safe,
secure and cared for. Being recognized
by others makes us feel we belong, that we are
part of the tribe.
People will often complain simply because they
want attention from others and can’ t
think of another, more positive means of getting
the notice they crave.
Get them to stop - Ask, “ So, what’ s going well
with…. (yourself, your family, your
work, your hobby, etc.)”
The complainer will probably respond by telling
you what is not going well with regards
what do you like about…” Or, “ Yes,
but how would you ideally like to see this
working out?”
Remove Responsibility – This complainer says,
“ What do you want from me?” “ It’ s
impossible.” “ You can’ t fight city hall.” “ It’ s
marketing’ s fault.” “ The dog ate my
homework.” “ She was supposed to wake me up.”
“ The traffic was terrible.” “ No one
will help me.” And more; much, much more.
This type of complainer seeks to build a case for
his or her inability to achieve by
painting a hopeless picture as to the outcome.
“ There’ s no use,” s/he is saying, “ So, I’ m
not going to try.” S/he is soliciting agreement
from listeners to validate his or her
victimhood.
Get them to stop - Super-motivator Tony
Robbins has a brilliant way of handling such
people. When a person says, “ It can’ t be done,”
your response should be, “ If it were
possible, how might you do it?”
When you read this it may sound dismissive or
rational
lies) as
to how circumstances
were
so
obviously
manipulative
but it works!
stacked against you. “ It’ s not my fault” is the
underlying message of such a complainer.
Get them to stop - When faced with a person
complaining to excuse poor performance,
know that attempting to point out their
culpability in what transpired is futile. The best
thing you can do to help shift focus on what to
do next time.
“ The air was dry, my throat was sore and so I
couldn’ t sing as well as I would have
liked.”
“ Sometimes you’ ll be singing where the air is
dry. What can you do to be ready?”
“ You didn’ t wake me up.”
“ Sometimes I might forget. What can you do to
make sure you get out of bed on your
own if I don’ t remember?”
“ He didn’ t have the part ready so I couldn’ t get
my work done.”
“ If that happens again, what can you do to make
sure the task gets completed anyway or,
at least, make certain that those who need to
know will be informed ahead of time?”
As the complainer begins to pile on all the
reasons why something can’ t be done, keep
asking, “ If it were possible, how might you do
it?” This can open the mind to considering
possibilities where once there were only
limitations.
Inspire Envy – People often complain to inspire
envy; that is: to brag. A person will
complain about someone else as a means of
saying that he or she does not have the
character flaw being complained about. Gossip
falls under this category of complaining.
“ My boss is so stupid” is a backhanded way of
saying, “ I’ m smarter than her and if I
were in charge things would be better.”
“ My husband is a slob” is the complainer
bragging that she is neat.
“ He drives like a maniac,” translates to “ I am a
safe and courteous driver.”
Get them to stop - A person complaining or
gossiping to inspire envy is trying to get you
to agree with his or her point of view. If you do,
you are only inviting further complaints.
Whenever someone gripes, remember G.R.I.P.E.
People complain to Get attention, Remove
themselves from responsibility, Inspire envy,
have Power over others, and to Excuse poor
performance. Now that you know why
people complain, use these simple tips to help
them stop."
Will Bowen speaks from experience. He is an
award-winning salesperson who now
works with organizations to create a Complaint
Free work environment that is calmer,
happier and more productive. The Complaint
Free program he created has been featured on
Oprah, NBC’ s Today Show, the ABC Evening
News, CBS Sunday Morning and Fox News.
Stories about him and his Complaint Free
movement have appeared in The Wall Street
Journal, People magazine and the Los Angeles
Times as well as hundreds of newspapers and
magazines around the world. He is the author of
2 bestselling books, “ A Complaint Free World”
and “ Complaint Free Relationships” which have
sold nearly 2 million copies worldwide.
Will Bowen can be reached at (816) 258-1288 or
via email Will@WillBowen.com
Instead, take the focus off the person being
complained about and put it where the
complainer wishes it to be, on him or her!
Compliment the complainer on being the
opposite of what he or she is complaining about.
When the complainer says, “ My sister is so
stupid.”
You respond, “ One of the things I’ ve always
admired about you is how smart you are.”
Power – Complaints are often the currency with
which one purchases power.
The quest to acquire and maintain power is the
driving force in many people’ s lives. They
attempt to mask the internal void within their
souls with an external attempt to
control others. When a challenge arises, one can
let it pass, work it out, or go to war. Complaining
is often recruiting soldiers to fight on your side.
You will see people complaining to garner power
in corporations, churches, families, civic groups,
homeowners’ associations—anywhere and
everywhere people gather into groups.
Get them to stop - Invite the complainer to go
and speak directly to the person being
complained about.
“ But I have,” The complainer will probably say,
“ And it hasn’ t done any good.”
“ Then it sounds like the two of you have more to
talk about.” You say. Step aside and don’ t get
involved. When two gorillas are fighting, it’ s
best to stay out of the jungle. Refuse to take
sides. A person complaining to purchase your
loyalty will cease when he realizes that your
loyalty is not for sale.
Excuse Poor Performance – Unlike the person
complaining to justify inaction, a person
complaining to excuse their poor performance
complains about circumstances after the
fact to explain away failure.
“ The sun was in my eyes.”
“ He bumped me just as I took the shot.”
“ I need a new grip on this stupid golf club.”
“ You didn’ t wake me in time.”
Complaining to excuse poor performance is an
attempt to rationalize (tell yourself