Communication 101
The Key to Success (or Failure)
What is Communication?
 The study of human interaction & expression
 The art (& science) of interpreting, analyzing,
understanding, & engaging in human behavior
 The process of creating & sharing ideas,
information, views, facts, feelings, etc., among
people to reach a common understanding
Why Do We Communicate?
 Requesting
 Rejecting/protesting
 Telling others what we want
or that we need help
 Escaping from a situation or
demand
 Making choices
 Saying “no” to things we
don’t like or want
 Controlling our environment
 Sharing information &
opinions
 Making social connections
 Meeting emotional needs
 Sharing information that
others need
 Greeting people/making
friends
 Asking questions/gaining
information we need
 Getting attention
 Commenting
 Sharing feelings
What Happens When We
DON’T Communicate?
 Misunderstandings
 Unnecessary/escalated conflict
 Mistrust/negative perceptions of others
 Loneliness or feeling unseen/unknown
 The “grapevine effect”
 Also known as the “telephone game”
 Missed opportunities/difficulty setting or reaching
goals
Major Types of Communication
 Verbal
 All communication using
spoken words (or unspoken
words – e.g. sign language)
 Visual
 Communicating via
graphics or visual aids –
drawings, diagrams, etc.
 Nonverbal
 Anything that isn’t spoken
words – tone, facial
expressions, body
language, eye contact,
etc.
 Listening
 Active listening: Engaging
your mind while another
person is speaking &
focusing on what they’re
saying
 Is NOT the same as hearing
 Is NOT natural/effortless
 Written
 Anything written or typed –
texts, emails, posts, etc.
Characteristics of
Communication
 Relies on multiple channels
 Passes through perceptual filters
 Meanings are given by people
 Has literal meanings & relational implications
 Sends messages
 Can be either intentional or unintentional
 Is governed by rules
 Effectiveness varies by culture & society
Communication & Culture
 Communication varies
among different cultures &
societies:
 Symbols: things that
represent ideas (e.g. flags,
national anthems)
 Languages: there are 6,800
languages in use in the
world today
 The most commonly
spoken 3 (in order):
Chinese, Spanish, English
 Values: the standards a
culture uses to judge how
good or beautiful
something is
 US culture tends to value
equal opportunity,
material comfort,
individual choice,
achievement, etc.
 Norms: the
rules/expectations that
guide people’s actions
 e.g. greeting norms,
politeness, etc.
Common Myths About
Communication
 Everyone is a communication expert
 Communication will solve any problem
 Communication is inherently good
 More communication is always better
 All communication is intentional
4 Styles of Communication
 Passive
 Aggressive
 Passive-Aggressive
 Assertive
 People may have a
dominant communication
style, but may use all of
these styles at different
times
 e.g. A normally passive
communicator may employ
aggressive-communicator
techniques when they lose
their temper
1. Passive Communicators
 May have difficulty expressing themselves & tend
to give into others

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
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Difficulty maintaining eye contact
Inability to say “no”
“Go with the flow” type attitude
Poor posture
 Failure to express thoughts/feelings may lead to
miscommunication or built-up anger/resentment
 Sample phrases/attitudes:
 “It doesn’t matter that much”
 “I just want everyone to get along”
2. Aggressive
Communicators
 Tend to dominate any conversation
 Talks over people
 Interrupts frequently & doesn’t listen
 May try to control or demand
 Stares intently or frowns
 May criticize, threaten or intimidate others
 Sample phrases/attitudes:
 “Because I said so”
 “It’s my way or the highway”
3. Passive-Aggressive
Communicators
 May seem passive on the surface, but reveal
hidden resentment that comes through in subtle,
indirect ways



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Frequent sarcasm
Words don’t align with actions
Facial expressions don’t match words
Difficulty acknowledging emotions
 Sample phrases/attitudes:
 “Fine, whatever”
 Says something overtly rude, followed by “I was just
joking”
4. Assertive Communicators
 States their opinions/feelings & advocates for their
rights/needs while still considering the rights/needs
of others
 Expresses desires/needs with confidence
 Encourages balanced conversations
 Uses “I” statements (“I get annoyed when people are
late” vs. “People who are late are annoying”)
 The ability to say “no”
 Maintains good eye contact
 Sample phrases/attitudes:
 “I am responsible for my own happiness”
 “I respect the needs/opinions of others”
Benefits of Effective
Communication
 Improves your relationships
 Builds trust, closeness, etc.
 Can prevent/resolve problems
 Provides clarity & direction
 Knowing what’s expected of you vs. having to guess
 Gives you skills & competitive advantage in any
professional field
 e.g. getting jobs, promotions, etc.
 Can help you gain social influence
 Effective communication is a quality of great leaders
How to be a Better
Communicator
 Learn to listen
 If you aren’t paying attention, you probably won’t be able to
respond effectively
 Actively focus on what the person is saying & repeat it mentally
 Pay attention to body language
 Both others’ AND your own
 “Read the room”
 Nodding & smiling is NOT the same as yawning or looking
around
 Observe how others communicate in different contexts
 Try to understand your audience
 Watch how a group speaks, uses nonverbal cues, etc., & act
accordingly
How to be a Better
Communicator (cont’d)
 Don’t be afraid of silence
 It’s not automatically a problem (other person may be thinking
or formulating their next point, etc.)
 Immediately trying to fill silence may come across as awkward
 Use action verbs & confident language
 Avoid filler words like “uh” & “um”
 Tip: Especially if you’re nervous, speak a little more slowly – this
will make filler words & lost train of thought less likely
 Ask questions
 Shows interest in the conversation
 Can ensure you understand what the other person is saying
How to be a Better
Communicator (cont’d)
 Look for common ground
 Finding shared opinions/interests can help build relationships
 In an argument, finding common ground can “keep the
peace,” but also let the other person know that you know
where they’re coming from
 Find the best way to frame your story
 Try to make your story interesting & engaging
 Identify your “hook” (what makes your story interesting) &
framing device (what you’re trying to do – tell a joke, explain a
theory, etc.)
 Don’t get too caught up in details – simplicity is your friend
 Know what you’re talking about
 Knowing your subject matter can make it easier for your to
communicate your ideas & reduce nerves
“Communication
works for those who
work at it.”
– John Powell