7 Strategies To Blow Her Mind In Bed
by Jordan Gray https://www.jordangrayconsulting.com/ Copyright Jordan Gray 2017
https://www.jordangrayconsulting.com/ 1. Masturbate more
But do it in a specific way…
There is a HUGE gap between quick, compulsive, energy depleting
masturbation, and extended, productive, training-you-for-amazinglyworld-class-sex masturbation.
In short, you want to be masturbating with more total time per
session, but fewer sessions overall.
Don’t masturbate to completion several times per day in short 2-5
minute bursts (typically, the least healthy way to masturbate which
literally trains your penis to ejaculate quickly)… but rather, only
masturbate a few times per month, but when you do, make each
session 30-60 minutes in length.
During these extended masturbation sessions, you will be essentially
re-sensitizing yourself to your body. Reconnecting your your head to
your heart and body. You will do this by using your hands to explore
every inch of yourself, and to practice what I call the “9-5 technique.”
The 9-5 technique is when you masturbate yourself to arousal, and
then (on a sexual energy scale of 1 to 10… 1 being completely turned
off, 10 being having an orgasm) you want to raise and lower your
level of arousal from a 9 to a 5, over and over again.
By doing this you will be retraining your penis (and mind) to last
longer in bed. By building up your sexual stamina, you will then be
able to please your woman that much more fully, as it usually takes
women a significantly longer time to reach orgasm than it does for
most men.
2. Make your bedroom into a sacred space
While we can exercise our willpower to a certain extent in our lives,
our environments often shape our realities to a much greater degree.
So instead of having to overcome the lackluster vibe in your bedroom
to initiate sex, why not have the sexiness and luxurious appeal of
your bedroom inspire you and your partner into sexy times with ease?
The truth of the matter is… she won’t be able to fully let go until she
feels like she’s in a distractions free environment that is conducive to
allowing her to drop out of her mind and into her body.
There are several things you can do to help her achieve a state of
relaxation.
- Remove all distractions from your bedroom
- Remove your TV from your room. Plug in your cell phones in other
rooms.
- Make sure all laundry is done, folded, and put away.
- Invest in a few choice items that will make your bedroom into a
sanctuary. Invest in quality sheets, massage oil, and some basic, soft
mood lighting.
- Pick up an essential oil diffuser and/or humidifier to ensure that the
air quality and scent of your room is a relaxing one. Lavender is a
good oil to start with.
3. Connect with your breath
One of the most effective ways to (1) last longer in bed, (2)
experience your pleasure more fully, and (3) be a more present and
attentive lover is to connect with your breath.
One of the fastest ways to become a two-pump chump (aka have
terrible sexual stamina and leave your partner feeling disappointed) is
to tense up your muscles and hold your breath during sex.
A great way to practice connecting to your breath (and thereby
extending your sexual stamina) is to practice conscious breathing
either while masturbating, or during sex.
The simplest way to do this is to practice what is known as “box
breathing.”
Box breathing is when you inhale through your nose for a slow count
of four seconds, hold for four seconds, exhale through your nose for
four seconds, and then hold again for four seconds.
By doing this for several minutes at a time you will drop your body
into a deeply restful state and you will gain more control over when
you reach your climax.
Start off by doing it during your every day life (waiting while in traffic,
while going to sleep at night, etc.), then do it while practicing
extended masturbation (the 9-5 technique), and eventually bringing it
into your sexual practice with your partner.
Your body, your sexual stamina, and your partner will thank you.
4. Tune up your sex muscles
Things like your forearms, pelvic floor muscles, lower back and abs
all get used significantly during sex and it’s good to have your body
parts in working order.
The one region that most people have chronically weak musculature
in is in the pelvic floor region (also known as your PC muscle). Your
PC muscle, or pubococcygeus muscle, is the hammock like muscle
that stretches from the tail bone to the pubic bone (it cradles your
groin area). It is the muscle that you can clench to stop the flow of
urine when you’re peeing.
Doing Kegel exercises is a great way to start to get a relationship to
your PC muscle and to give it a tune up. Try this: twice a week (say,
on Monday and Thursday, to give yourself time in between for the
muscle to rebuild) alternate rapidly pulsing sets of Kegels with sets of
two second holds. If you’re just starting out, your PC muscle should
feel a little bit tired by the end of your sets of pulses and holds. Keep
it up, and over time you’ll experience stronger orgasms, and greater
orgasmic control.
5. Keep your testosterone levels high (at any age)
One of the biggest contributing factors to your sex drive is your free
testosterone levels.
The three most immediate ways that you can influence your
testosterone levels are through your quality of sleep, your nutrition,
and the way that you exercise.
For sleep:
Ensure that you’re getting at least 7-8 hours of sleep per night, on a
consistent basis.
Have a wind-down routine that helps your mind shut off from your
workday. Have a bath. Read a part of a fiction book. Write down any
thoughts that are floating around in your mind into a journal on your
bedside table.
Disengage with all electronics at least 1-2 hours before going to bed,
and aim to have your bedtime be consistent throughout your week.
For nutrition:
Eat real food, including a lot of dark green, and colorful vegetables.
Avoid overly processed, fake foods. Don’t over eat.
Specifically, make sure that you’re getting a diet with lots of healthy
fats in it (pastured eggs, organic avocados, coconut oil, walnuts,
pecans, etc.) since fat and cholesterol is a necessary precursor to
testosterone production.
For exercise:
Focus primarily on heavy compound lifts (like squats, dead lifts, chinup’s, and bench presses). If you’re doing much cardio, aim for high
intensity interval training style workouts where you sprint and then
rest, sprint and then rest, on repeat. Too much walking triggers your
minds old programming to go into ‘grazing’ mode and limit your free
testosterone levels.
6. Use your mouth more
…But use it to communicate (among other things).
For something that takes up so much of our daily attention, sex is
something that barely (if ever) gets talked about.
Like many items on this list, a little bit of effort goes a long way
towards improving your sex life.
Talk directly with your partner about your likes, dislikes, and what you
would like to try. Become an expert on your partner’s sexual arousal
and what turns them on or off.
At the same time, let them know how they can best please you. Even
during sex, giving brief less-than-five-word feedback can work
wonders. You don’t have to issue orders like a drill sergeant… but a
simple phrase like “a little harder”, or “a bit slower, baby” can work
wonders for your pleasure.
7. Extend your foreplay, and sloooowwww down
Many men feel a lot of pressure to perform well during sex and help
their partner to orgasm (once, or several times). While this a noble
intention, those same men make it harder on themselves then they
need it to be by rushing through (or entirely bypassing) foreplay.
Sex isn’t a race. Nor is it about performance.
Sex is about slowing down, feeling, connecting, and experiencing
pleasure.
The highest leverage place for you to start to have your sex life be
more pleasurable for both you and your partner is to extend foreplay
significantly.
Spend ample time kissing, touching, caressing, massaging, hugging,
and playing. Tease your way down her body. Take your time.
According to ancient Taoist sexual philosophy, sexual energy is
different for men and women. For men, sexual energy begins in the
genitals and needs to be spread outwards, whereas for women,
sexual energy starts in the extremities and needs to be slowly
brought towards the genitals.
What this means in practical terms, is that it takes a while for your
partner to warm up. Embrace this fact, and your love life will thrive as
a result.
Dedicated to your success,
Jordan