MSc Counselling Psychology
Andreas Damianou
Case Study
based on the Film ‘Lady Bird’
Andreas Damianou
MSc Counselling Psychology
PSYM 592: Theories of Couple and
Family Counseling
Dr Andreas Anastasiou
30/04/21
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Plot overview, Characters and Family Description
The movie takes place in Sacramento,
California 2002. Christine McPherson,
the protagonist, is the daughter of
Marion and Larry and the sister to her
adopted, older brother Miguel. Christine,
who has named herself Lady Bird, is in
her final year of high school. Christine is
determined to leave Sacramento and go to a prestigious University in the East Coast to study
(a goal that she does manage to accomplish). Lady Bird's final year of school is characterised
by exploration, new experiences and a journey of self-discovery. Lady-Bird exhibits a strongwilled, extroverted, opinionated, volatile and quick witted character, personality characteristics
that she shares with her mother.
Marion is a hard-working nurse who has taken the burden of financially supporting the whole
family, often doing double shifts as a nurse, after her husband loses his job. She is determined
to keep her daughter close to home, an option more financially feasible for the financially
strained family, but also, a way to keep her daughter close to her.
Larry is a mild mannered, introverted, empathic man. He has recently lost his job and even
though we do not see enough to attest to it, it is insinuated that he is suffering from depression.
He keeps his distance from the high intensity, conflictual moments that take place in the family
environment. After the intensity has subsided, he intervenes to bring love and harmony between
his daughter and wife. He is also supportive of all the family members with their individual
endeavours.
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We do not know at what age Miguel was adopted, but his name, and looks, make reference to
a Latino origin. Miguel has graduated from a prestigious University in the East Coast, moved
back home, and works at a local Deli while applying for jobs in the tech industry. In a job
interview he attends, Miguel comes across his dad and sister (who was accompanying her dad)
in the lobby of the tech-company they both applied for. Miguel is successful at getting the job.
Lady-Bird and Marion have a close and antagonistic relationship with their contact vacillating
between warm, supportive, critical to cruel within a few breaths. We have less information
about the rest of the relationships but from we see, Lady Bird has a secure relationship with
her father and an emotionally distant relationship with her brother. Marion and Larry seem to
have a secure relationship between them. There are signs of distance between father and son.
It is unclear what kind of relationship Marion and Miguel have.
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Case Conceptualization
In the parts that follow, I will be conceptualizing the McPherson family from 3 different
orientations: Bowenian, Structural and Psychodynamic. The case conceptualizations are based
upon assumptions and hypothesis constructed from information extracted from the film. These
assumptions and hypotheses do not claim to capture the truth. Rather, they are working models
that would be further investigated as part the therapeutic process. As more information is
gathered as part of therapy so these hypotheses would be further refined, altered, confirmed or
scraped all together. Elaborating further on techniques and theory regarding hypothesizing and
case conceptualization falls outside the scope of this essay.
Even though all 4 family members would ideally be attending family therapy, since we have
limited information about Miguel and his relationship with the other family members, for the
purposes of this assignment we will assume that Marion, Larry and Lady Bird will be attending
therapy. Both the Conceptualization as well as the Intervention section that follow will not be
including Miguel.
Bowen Therapy
As a teenager approaching the leaving-home stage of her life, Lady Bird is struggling to create
space for herself so she can begin to separate from her family to become autonomous and create
her own identity. By trying to control her, her mother, exasperates in her daughter a desperate
need for separation expressing itself as an indiscriminate rejection of her life, her home town
and her family all of which she clearly loves. In one of her acts of autonomy-affirming
rebelliousness, Christine renames herself and insists to be called Ladybird. By giving herself
her own name, Ladybird tries to take control of and create her own identity. Once she moves
away from Sacramento and her family, and is able to relax into the space she has provided
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herself with, she reclaims her given name. While re-adopting her given name she also ‘pulls’
her family and her town back close to her. In having the space to ‘breathe her own air’ she is
able to experience her love for all that she left behind.
The relationship between mother and daughter, is characterised by a strong emotional fusion
which makes both of them vulnerable (and reactive) to the emotionality of each-other. They
show lack of differentiation: the ability to use their rational capacities to act wisely and flexibly,
even under anxiety, ability which would enable them to not respond automatically to emotional
pressures (Nichols and Davies 2017). They are also unable to be close to each other while
maintaining their own individuality and not reacting defiantly towards each other.
The second scene of the movie which takes place in the car is a characteristic depiction of
emotional fusion and undifferentiation. After enjoying some lovely intimacy between them
while listening to an audiobook, the two of them get into a fight. This is an emotionally reactive,
antagonistic exchange whereby Lady-Bird passive-aggressively puts her life down, to which
the mother is offended and reacts by insulting Lady-Bird: calling her ungrateful and selfish and
putting-down her intelligence. The emotional reactivity escalates and the scene ends with LadyBird opening the door and jumping out of the moving car to the terror of her mum.
Triangulation patterns arise in the family: Marion triangulates her daughter by complaining to
her about the under-involvement of Larry. This might help her let steam off but it freezes the
conflict that is present in her relationship with Larry in place. The daughter triangulates her
dad by asking him to help her with her University application behind Marion’s back. The dad
is triangulated in by agreeing to participate.
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Structural Family Therapy
Marion has an enmeshed relationship with her daughter. Their relationship is characterised by
diffuse boundaries: Marion is overly-involved into her daughter’s life. Both mother and
daughter seem dissatisfied with the relationship. A sign of diffused boundaries is Marion
entering her daughters’ room without knocking. There is also a scene where Marion and Larry
are in the bathroom together so Marion might have a more general tendency towards diffuse
boundaries.
Larry is a supportive father, sympathetic to the struggles of his children and has a close bond
with his daughter. Father and daughter seem to be maintaining healthy boundaries between
them and at the same time enjoy a close relationship between them: They are present into each
other’s lives and support one another. On the other hand, Larry does exhibit signs of
disengagement from the system: he keeps himself out of the intense emotional interactions that
takes place around him, especially in regards to the mother-daughter dynamic. He also appears
to be disengaged from his role as a husband.
Observation of the family dynamics point towards a triadic, complementary father/mother to
daughter relationship. This dynamic is also insinuated by Marion who says that she has to take
the role of the ‘bad parent’ because her husband is the ‘nice one’ and somebody needs to fillin the role. Marion is monitoring, dominant, critical in her relationship with Christine while
dad gives space, is tolerant and compassionate.
Besides the complementary dynamic that Marion and Larry exhibit in regards to their role as
parents, a similar complementary dynamic is also present in their role as husband and wife.
Larry remains passively at the background while Marion is over-involved and takes
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responsibility of all aspects of the running of the family: Does double shifts at work to cover
the financial needs of the family while also fulfilling the role of the house keeper. Larry’s role
is to be the peacekeeper/emotionally supportive person in the family.
Psychodynamic Therapy
Lady Bird is immersed in the separation-individuation process. As part of this process, a lot of
frustration is experienced by Lady-Bird as she is desperately trying to define herself and claim
her autonomy. A hypothesis that we can make is that part of this frustration stems, from a
conflict that arises between her need to individuate and her loyalty to her family. We can further
hypothesize that this conflict gives rise to a defence mechanism: disapproval towards her life,
her family and her town. This defence mechanism protects lady bird from becoming aware that
she actually loves her town and craves for attachment with her family in fear that she might be
engulfed by them, loose herself in them and make it more complicated to chart her
individuation path. Towards the end of the movie Christine seems to have enough psychic
distance to claim her birth name, and to allow for her selfhood to express as her parents would
express theirs, and would like her to express hers (she attends a local church), without having
to be them or be defined them.
We never get to meet the grandparents, but Marion does make a noteworthy reference to her
own mother, reference that a psychodynamic therapist would certainly be interested in. Marion
refers to her mother was an abusive alcoholic. Certainly this reference gives us very little to go
by but certain hypothesis can be drawn. Firstly, a person who has themselves experienced bad
parenting will, quite likely, repeat some of the same patterns since this is the parenting model
she grew-up with at the absence of a model of appropriate parenting. Secondly, a person who
has been denied a normal childhood, might resent (feel jealous) their own child for having a
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normal childhood. The mother could love her daughter and feel both happy to provide a good
childhood for the child but at the same time resentful.
Projective identification: Re-enactment of childhood: Marion has possibly been neglected
and/or abused by her mother. This is experienced as a form of rejection. Through projective
identification the mother re-enacts the relationship with her daughter: treats her in a way that
would lead to her daughter rejecting her.
Attachment style: A working model of the attachment styles of the McPherson family members
would be useful information for the course of therapy. From the information that we have
available, the most informed hypothesis that we can make is that Marion is insecurely attached:
preoccupied or anxious (which also makes sense in terms of her reference to an abusive
alcoholic mother). Marion is anxious about her relationship with her daughter and gets hurt
very easily, primarily about things that ladybird does to individuate. When Ladybird goes to
have thanksgiving dinner with her boyfriends’ family, Marion gets triggered. As a reaction she
mistreats her daughter in a passive aggressive way. She has a similar reaction when she realizes
that Ladybird is leaving to go to University.
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Therapeutic Interventions
In this next part of the assignment, I will be looking into ways in which I would be intervening
therapeutically in the treatment of the McPherson Family. This section will include
interventions coming from 3 different orientations: Person-centred, Psychodynamic, Bowenian
and Structural.
Person-Centred and Psychodynamic
The core conditions (congruence, empathy and UPR) of the person-centred approach will be
laid-out as the foundation of the therapeutic work to take place with the McPherson family.
Psychodynamic interventions will be integrated as part of this section.
Congruence is the condition that the therapist applies himself in a genuine, integrated way in
the relationship. (Rogers 1956). By applying himself congruently in his relationship with the
McPherson family the therapist gives the message that being real and true to oneself is both
permissible and desirable (Mearns and Thorne 2007). For Lady-bird and Marion whose own
hurt feelings underlie a lot of their conflict, they could be encouraged to own and express their
vulnerabilities and needs to each other and to Larry rather than being defensive, passiveaggressive and lashing out. Being true to themselves could lead Christine, Marion and
Larry to what Rogers (1956) calls lower internal conflict and higher integration i.e. a decrease
in the clash of conflicting internal tendencies towards acceptance and incorporation of all of
them as part of oneself.
Empathy is the condition that the counsellor experiences the client’s awareness of her own
experience (Rogers 1956). That is a deep understanding of how it is like for the client to feel
and think in the way she does and experience the world as it is for her (Mearns
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and Thorne 2007). An empathic counsellor becomes a true companion for each of the members
of the McPherson family. This gives the clients a sense of self-worth and the boosted
confidence
to
own
and
express
their
vulnerability
to
each
other.
Through
the reflection of the thoughts and feelings that lie within them Marion, Larry and Ladybird can
become more self-aware. Once the therapeutic relationship has matured, the person-centred as
well as psychodynamic therapist would penetrate deeper into the emotional world of each of
his clients. Using his empathy, he might say to Larry “Larry I am picking up a deep longing
within you: The longing to see your daughter and wife happy and getting-along with each other.
It seems to me that the intense emotional conflict between them is uncomfortable for you and
makes you pull-back and close further into yourself. Does anything of what I am saying ring
true to you?”
Alternatively, to Christine he might say something like “Lady-bird, it seems to me that you
have the need to receive from your mother an honest, heartfelt appreciation for who you are
and specific acknowledgement for your qualities as a person. Am I getting you?” And to
Marion he might say (perhaps not in one go): “Marion, you are working extremely hard to
sustain your family, both at work and at home and you might be feeling underappreciated for
all that you do? Moreover, you had a really tough upbringing which helps you appreciate the
importance of a stable family environment and at the same time gives rise to hurt and bitterness
for not being acknowledged for all that you have been able to provide your family with? Am I
getting to some of your feelings there? Am I missing something?”
This process is an invitation by the counsellor to his clients to reflect on their experiences,
explore their self further and as a psychodynamic therapist might put it: own the disowned
experiences and feelings that lie underneath. At the same time, this process invites each of the
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family members to allow themselves to own their feelings and express their vulnerabilities to
each other, vulnerabilities which they (consciously or unconsciously) hide from each other in
fear that they will be hurt. In this way, through the counsellors use of empathy, each of the
family members may be able to better understand and accept themselves which at the same
times produces change towards lower internal conflict and higher integration, both within
themselves and within the family system.
“Unconditional positive regard (UPR) is the opposite of taking an expert, distant, neutral,
dispassionate stance.” (Hill 2007 p. 260-264). UPR is the condition the counsellor accepts his
clients as they are (Rogers 1956). In this way, the counsellor cares for each person in the family
as a separate individual and allows her to have her own feelings, thoughts and experiences.
UPR can enable the differentiation/individuation process within the family: By allowing for
each family member to have her own unique experience and create an environment where each
of these unique experiences can be a part of the whole without compromising it, it allows each
of them to allow themselves to have and communicate their own experiences without feeling
compelled or guilty that they betray each other. At the same time, it would be important to
allow for each of the family members who might feel threatened by each-others individuation
to express these fears, fears that if not expressed, explored, soothed and worked-through both
individually and through the support by the family, could convert themselves into tyrannical
elements of overt or passive aggression and guilt tripping, tyrannical elements which Marion
expresses towards her daughter.
Bowenian
Bowenians see their role as providing the family members with an opportunity to learn about
themselves and their relationships so that they can tackle their own problems. Getting past
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blaming, helps each person understand the role they play in the family problems. Sessions are
designed to minimize emotionality and foster self-reflection and nudge family members to
adopt more responsibility which the therapist accomplishes by remaining himself detriangulated and asking questions, one family member at a time. From a Bowenian perspective
we would be aiming to facilitate a move of each member of the family towards differentiation,
low anxiety within the family context and establishing of good emotional contact with the rest
of the family members (Nichols and Davis 2017).
Differentiation: In bowenian terms this is a move towards becoming responsible for oneself.
Even though individually focused, each family members’ differentiation contributes towards
the transformation of the family. Being responsible for oneself means getting clear about what
you think and feel and what you believe, speaking for yourself and maintaining your own
values. You don’t take responsibility by changing others or wish that they are different.
Accepting oneself and acknowledge the right of others to be different enables the person to
come into contact with others without becoming unduly upset or emotionally reactive (Nichols
and Davis 2017).
Working with the McPherson family using the Bowenian methodology we would create a safe
therapeutic space with low emotionality where the family members can elaborate on their own
thoughts, feelings and beliefs without reacting to each other. By creating this kind of
exploration in the presence of each other we are able to allow them to differentiate while being
in contact. Through this exploration, in the presence of a therapist that regulates the
conversation, Christine may be able to explore and speak her own truth, and without the
constant emotional battle with her mum slowly come to a place where she feels safe to move
closer to her actual experience rather than adopting reactive and defensive positions. For
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Marion, this conversation can enable her to begin to let go the need to control her daughter,
understanding that she can have an emotionally close relationship with her while allowing her
to become her own person. For Larry, having an intervention which lowers emotionality and
allows for him to express himself would be a chance to give voice to who he is besides the
person who tries to minimize conflict and support the two women in his life.
Triangulation: Another bowenian intervention that we would utilize to work towards the
therapeutic aims outlined in the first paragraph is helping family members avoiding
triangulation, or detangle themselves out of established ones. For example, instead of Marion
triangulating her daughter regarding her father not being involved enough as a parent, we would
encourage her to speak directly to Larry and express her thoughts to him, using ‘I’ statements
without accusing him. Also in terms of the triangle of Ladybird with her dad, even though it
would still be useful to guide Christine to address the issue with her mum, we would primarily
be addressing the matter with Larry since he is the adult and the husband. Being the adult,
father and husband, it is Larry’s responsibility to inform the daughter that he would take the
issue to his wife, speak to Marion about their daughter’s request and own his position that he
wants to support his daughter.
Structural
Since the McPherson family is illustrating enmeshed boundaries, one thing we would want to
be doing with them is strengthening boundaries. Family members are encouraged to talk for
themselves, interruptions are blocked and dyads are enabled to finish conversations without
intrusion. For example we might say: “Larry and Marion, talk this over, and everyone else will
listen carefully.”
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Although we might have sessions with the whole family, we might also have sessions with
subgroups: Christine and Marion and Larry and Marion, the first one to strengthen the boundary
between them and the second to reinforce their channels of communication, encourage them to
express what they need from each other and strengthen their relationship. For example, in
relation to the issue with the University application: we would see the way the system
functioned as a failure of the parental subgroup to function properly. Thus from a structural
perspective we would be aiming to strengthen the parental subgroup so that Larry would take
the matter and discuss it directly and openly with his spouse to figure-out a solution between
them.
Take turns using ‘I’ statements about how they are feeling: Creating a space where each of the
family members feels safe to voice their feelings and needs. For example, rather than the anger
and distain expressed by Marion she might come to express the hurt and longing for connection
that she feels. Larry, who neither gets involved nor fights back might express feelings of being
suffocated and doubts about his self-worth. Ladybird who keeps putting her life down might
come to express that her self-worth and identity feel threatened and she could really use some
acknowledgement from her mum.
Change in the relational dynamics within the McPherson family would involve both parents
become aware of the way they contribute to the problematic dynamic at play, taking
responsibility for their own contribution and shifting their style accordingly. Perhaps what
could help Marion let go of her impulse to control her daughter’s life, her marriage and the
household is a husband who is more present in her life and the life of the house. On the other
hand, what would give space to Larry to be more present and take more responsibility within
the family is for Marion to back off and allow for that space.
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Conclusion
This paper was a Case Study of the McPherson family as presented in the film Lady Bird.
The family was conceptualized from 3 different orientations: Bowenian, Structural and
Psychodynamic. Therapeutic interventions that could be applied for the treatment of the
family were presented from 4 different perspectives: Person-centred, Psychodynamic,
Bowenian and Structural.
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