Section 3 Creating danger
• I am exploring ways of creating tense, exciting action in a story
• I need to practice the skill of planning and writing stories
• I can successfully plan and write a tense, exciting action in a story
Conflict (bell-ringer)
Explain what is
happening in this
picture and state
was type of conflict
is being shown.
Conflict
A man is on trial
for some sort of
crime he
committed.
Man vs. Society
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Breaker’s yard
Shock wave
Buckle
Eggshell
Graze
Trickle
Yank off
Tilt
Guillotine
Metalwork
Fumes
piston
a place where old cars are
taken apart and the parts are
sold
breaker’s yard
Wreck yard
‘The explosion caused a
shock wave of flames
like ripples in the water
when a stone is cast in.’
A sharp change of pressure in a
narrow region travelling through a
medium, especially air, caused by
explosion or by a body moving
faster than sound.
Shock wave
side effect
Bend and give way under a weight
or force.
‘The pain was almost
unbearable as they
continued to apply
pressure and his knees
buckled under the
strain.’
buckle
become warped
Used in similes and metaphors to
refer to the fragile nature of
something.
‘the truck would crush
his car like an eggshell’
eggshell
Scrape and break the surface of the
skin of (a part of the body)
‘she fell down and
grazed her knees’
graze
scrape
(of a liquid) flow in a small stream.
‘a solitary tear trickled
down her cheek’
trickle
drip
‘her hair was yanked, and she
screamed’.
‘her hair was yanked,
and she screamed’
yank
jerk
to (cause to) move into a sloping
position:
He tilted his chair
backward and put his
feet up on his desk.
tilt
lean
to pour something from one place
or container into another
tip something into/onto etc.
something
He tipped the juice into
our glasses.
tip
‘Harry made British
medical history in 1999
by becoming the first
eight-finger replant after
his hands were caught in
a hydraulic paper
guillotine.’
A device for cutting that
incorporates a descending or sliding
blade, used typically for cutting
paper, card, or sheet metal.
guillotine
lean
the metal part of something:
Rust has damaged the
metalwork of the
bicycle.
metalwork
a long, narrow container without a
lid that usually holds water or food
for farm animals:
Cows at the feeding
trough
trough
‘Besides leaving salt
deposits, rusting
internal parts and
causing valve damage,
water in an engine also
makes short work of
pistons and cylinders.’
piston
a short, solid piece of metal that
moves up and down inside a
cylinder in an engine to press the
fuel into a small space and to send
the power produced by it to the
wheels:
Activity 1
• 1 Being found by the men and being crushed inside the car.
• 2 Because the men haven’t found him.
• 3 The car is picked up by a huge crane with three metal prongs and
tilted up in the air. Alex is thrown into the back and his head is grazed
by the metal fingers.
• 4 The graph should show a steady incline, following the rise in tension
and suspense.
Activity 2
• “A shadow fell across the window” (Tell the reader what is happening)
• “It was going to be put inside the crusher.” (Tell the reader what is going to
happen soon)
• “Alex tried to fight back his sickness and despair” (Tell the reader how the
main character is feeling)
• “He could feel nothing.”; “dust and diesel fumes punching into his nose and
eyes”; “he could see the huge steel head of the piston”; “The back window
exploded”; “managed to pound on the back window”
• 2 Telling the reader what is about to happen is used most often.
• 3 Telling the reader how the main character is feeling is used least often.
Skills Boost: Word classes
• 1) I can see the sky; point; trees; value; books.
• 2) She has bought a blue; new; small; enormous; racing car.
• 3) I ran; sang; whistled; skipped; roared in the park.
• 4) He did his homework speedily; lazily; happily; enthusiastically;
methodically.
Activity 3 – compare the following words
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‘break’ and ‘destroy’,
‘run’ and ‘race’, and
‘worry’ and ‘panic’.
Activity 3 – compare the following words
•
‘break’ and ‘destroy’,
‘run’ and ‘race’, and
‘worry’ and ‘panic’.
• Their extremity makes these more dramatic.
Activity 3 –
• 1a buckled; tore; exploded; showered; punching
• 1b I find the verb “punching” most dramatic because it conveys the
power of the toxic smells as they impact with such force that it is like
a physical hostile punch.
• 2a The metal fingers and the skin of the car are compared with a fork
and an eggshell.
• 2b This simile suggests that the car is very fragile compared with the
strength and power of the car crusher.
Activity 4
• Your writing should:
• be planned
• contain two paragraphs
• include dramatic verbs
• include a slight dip in tension before danger heightens it again
• tell the reader what is happening, what is going to happen, how the
main character is feeling and what he or she is experiencing through
their senses.
Planning
• 1)
• What is happening?
• What is going to happen soon?
• How is the main character feeling?
• What is happening to the main character’s five senses:
Writing