EFFECTS OF LOVE RELATIONSHIP BREAKUP
A Thesis
Presented to
The Faculty of the College of Arts and Sciences
University of Northern Philippines
Vigan City, Ilocos Sur
In Partial Fulfillment
Of the Requirements for the Degree
Bachelor of Science in Psychology
By
RAKESH KUMAR RAJASEKAR
RAM PRAKASH BHASKAR
2017
ii
CERTIFICATION
This thesis “EFFECTS OF LOVE RELATIONSHIP BREAK-UP” prepared
and submitted by RAKESH KUMAR RAJASEKAR and BHASKAR RAM
PRAKASH, in partial fulfillment of the requirements for the degree Bachelor of Science
in Psychology, has been accepted and recommended for oral examination.
LOURDES P. LLANES, MPS
Adviser
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APPROVAL SHEET
Approved by the Panel of Examiners on Oral Examination with a grade of
_____________.
REMEDIOS T. NAVARRO, Ed. D., Rpm
Chairperson
MARIBEN P. LOPEZ, MA Psych
Member
BONNA MAE S. GOROSPE, MAGC
Member
Accepted and approved in partial fulfillment of the requirements for the degree of
Bachelor of Science in Psychology.
PRAXEDES L. PERALTA, MAME
Dean, College of Arts and Sciences
Date: _____________
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ACKNOWLEDGEMENT
The researchers extend their sincerest gratitude to the following:
Almighty God, the source of everything;
Prof. Praxedes L. Peralta, Dean of the College of Arts and Sciences for her
efficient leadership in the college which is significant in the completion of this study;
Prof. Lourdes P. Llanes, Adviser, for spending her valuable time to guide them
throughout their thesis;
Dr. Remedios T. Navarro, Chairperson of the Panel of examiners, Prof.
Mariben P. Lopez and Prof. Bonna Mae S. Gorospe, members of the panel of
examiners for their valuable suggestions to improve this study;
Mr. Rajasekar Subramani and Mrs. Devi Suganandam, Mr. Bhaskar and
Mrs. Kavitha, their respective parents, for always being there for them;
Mr. Jagadeesh Kumar, brother and Mrs. Sivabooshanam, grandmother of the
primary interviewer for their moral support throughout his career;
Mr. Mahesh Baburajan, Mr. Chethan, Mr. Kanishkar, their friends for
supporting them even during their odds;
RR
RB
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DEDICATION
To those who were with us all throughout this journey,
And to those who believe, trust, and love us,
To the Almighty God,
This is for all of you.
Rockey & Ramu
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ABSTRACT
This research tried to determine the possible effects of love relationship breakup.
The qualitative type of research was used in the study. A total of 10 students studying in
the University of Northern Philippines enrolled during the second term of school year
2016-2017 chosen through purposive sampling served as respondents of the study. The
following were the findings of the study: (1) Possessiveness, Interference of third party,
Differences in opinion, Trust issues and Compatibility issues were the causes for the
breakup of participants. (2) Breakup led to better physical and mental health. (3) Breakup
helped the participants to develop positive emotions in life. (3) It made them feel the
importance and care of their family and friends. (4) The participants were motivated by
the ignorance of their past partners after the breakup. (5) Breakup made the participants
feel independent and helped them to spend more time on study based activities in school
and home and extracurricular activities. (6) Breakup has caused stress in some
participants. (7) Breakup has caused difficulty sleeping in the participants for a while. (8)
The participants started to develop a lack of trust over everyone after breakup. (9) Some
of the participants were afraid of getting into another new relationship because of their
fear of getting hurt in relationship failure once again. (10) Breakup has caused loneliness
and social inhibition in majority of the participants.
Keywords: Love relationship, breakup, causes, effects, phenomenological approach
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TABLE OF CONTENTS
Page
LIST OF TABLES… … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … …
ix
CHAPTER
I
THE PROBLEM
Introduction… … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … …
1
Statement of the Problem… … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … …
4
Scope and Delimitation… … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … 4
Theoretical Framework… … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … 4
Conceptual Framework… … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … 12
Operational Definition of Terms… … … … … … … … … … … … … … … 13
Research Methodology… … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … 14
Research Design… … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … …
14
Population and Sample … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … 14
Data Gathering Instrument … … … … … … … … … … … … … … 15
Data Gathering Procedure … … … … … … … … … … … … … … 15
II
PRESENTATION, ANALYSIS AND INTERPRETATION OF DATA
Emerging themes on the causes and effects of love relationship breakup… … 17
III
SUMMARY, FINDINGS, CONCLUSIONS AND RECOMMENDATIONS
Summary… … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … 26
Findings… … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … …
26
Conclusions… … … … … … … … … … … … …… … … … … … … …
28
Recommendations… … … … … … … … … … … … …… … … … … …
28
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BIBLIOGRAPHY… … … … … … … … … … … … …… … … … … … … …
30
APPENDICES… … … … … … … … … … … … …… … … … … … … … … … 34
CURRICULUM VITAE… … … … … … … … … … … … …… … … … … …
38
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LIST OF TABLES
TABLE
Page
1
Demographic Profile of the Participants…… … … … … … … … … … … … 15
2
Nature of Breakup … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … 17
3
Effects of Love Relationship Breakup… … … … … … … … … … … … … 21
Chapter 1
THE PROBLEM
Introduction
When love goes sour, the fallout can be severe. It turns out that just like
relationships themselves, separations can be complicated. People’s response depends on
many factors like how was their feeling about the relationship in the first place, how
entwined their self-image was with their partner and even how their partner reacts on
social media. Each person's sense of self relies on the commitment level of the couple, it
gradually begins to overlap their partner's, according to Slotter (2010). In addition to that,
a series of studies found out that a breakup can disrupt a person's sense of self, leaving
them adrift.
When these relationships tend to end, individuals experience not only pain over
the loss of the partner, but also experience changes in their own behavior. A little bit of
wallowing may be a good thing. When researchers asked single people to participate in
interview sessions exploring their feelings about the breakups, they found that these
individuals actually recovered better than people who participated in just a few short
sessions. The results, reported by Levi Baker and McNulty (2015), were somewhat
counterintuitive.
According to Fisher (2010), Romantic rejection is like overcoming from an
addiction, the researchers looked at people who had recently experienced a breakup. The
participants underwent brain scans while looking at photographs of their former lovers, as
well as photographs of other friends and acquaintances.
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When looking at the photographs of their lost love, the volunteers showed brain
activity in a region called the ventral tegmental area, which lies in the midbrain. This area
is known to be activated when people are in love, and in situations involving motivation
and reward. Other reward- and addiction-centered areas, including the nucleus
accumbens in the forebrain, also became more active. The strength of the activity faded
with time, no matter how stubbornly the brain holds on, it eventually lets go, the
researchers reported.
According to Holmes (2008), people bounce back from breakups about twice as
fast as they would expect, and they are not nearly as devastated by the relationship loss as
they predicted they would be. Studies using functional magnetic resonance imaging
(fMRI) brain scans show activity in several specific brain areas when rejected individuals
see pictures of their past partners. Researcher Edward Smith, a cognitive neuroscientist at
Columbia University and his colleagues had conducted a research on participants who
had experienced breakup in the last six months. The brain regions, including the insula
and anterior cingulate cortex are known to be associated with pain experience. The
conclusion of their research is that our brains appear to process love relationship
breakups similarly to physical pain.
According to Fuller (2007), nearly three-quarters of respondents feel a sense of
personal growth from the breakup. The difference between a normal response to rebuffs
and an oversensitive one may be summed up in one word: rumination. Highly rejectionsensitive people are also more likely to be "overthinkers" who ruminate excessively about
everyday experience. Nolen-Hoeksema, professor of psychology at Yale and author of
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Eating, Drinking, Overthinking, stated that overthinking may be the engine of
hypersensitivity to rejection.
According to Rutgers University anthropologist Helen Fisher, the brain of the
breakup respondents while remembering about their former love was associated with the
regions of the brain associated with cocaine and nicotine addiction. In addition to that
they also found activity in a region associated with feelings of love and deep attachment,
and activity in a region that is associated with pain. Whether people bounce back from a
breakup or wallow in unhappiness also depends on our general self-regard.
According to Lishner (2011), the more one’s self-worth depends on a relationship,
the more suffering one is likely to feel when it is over. Depression plays a significant role
in love relationship breakup. After a love relationship breakup, there is likely chances for
the victims to have significant drops in their dopamine and serotonin levels resulting
depression, anxiety, feelings of addiction and deprivation.
The findings of the study redound to the benefit of society considering that love
relationship breakup plays an important role in the self-motivation and personal
development of the people who had breakups, especially students. Thus people met with
breakups, who apply the recommended approach derived from the positive results of this
study will be able to resist problems in life better than those people who had not met up
with breakups. For the University of Northern Philippines administration, the study will
help them uncover the positive side of the love relationship breakup that might help
people to have a clear understanding about the love breakup and help them to overcome
the negative impact of love relationship breakup.
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Statement of the Problem
This study primarily aims to understand the effects of love relationship breakup of
selected college students of University of Northern Philippines studying for the period
during the second term of school year 2016-2017.
Specifically, it sought to answer the following questions
1. How do the respondents perceive the nature of their relationship?
2. How do the respondents perceive the effects of their love relationship breakup?
Scope and Delimitation
This study aimed at understanding the effects of love relationship breakup. Ten
students were the participants of the research and they were chosen through purposive
sampling.
Interpretative Phenomenological Output approach was used to analyze the
experiences of the respondents and to identify common themes of the study. The
researcher made interview guide was used to gather the needed data.
Theoretical Framework
To support this study, the researchers reviewed some relevant studies and
literature.
Breakup is the termination of an intimate love relationship by any means other
than death. The act is commonly termed "dumping" in slang when it is initiated by one
partner.
Susie Orbach (1992) has argued that the dissolution of dating and cohabiting
relationships can be as painful as or more painful than divorce because these non-marital
relationships are less socially recognized.
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On Nature of Breakup
Trust Issues
Lack or loss of trust is one of the most harmful contagions to long-term success of
a couple. Without trust, a relationship misses two of the key anchors to a strong bond:
safety and security. Trust issues may include factors such as jealousy, possessiveness,
unreasonable rigidity, emotional infidelity, physical/sexual infidelity, relational game
playing, lack of reliability and dependability, lack of emotional support, lack of financial
compatibility, and lack of mutually-supportive goals. If people believe that trust is a
major issue in their relationship, they should examine whether the lack of trust is based
on a pattern of evidence (such as significant broken promises), or mostly subjective
emotions (such as jealousy without proof). They should consider honestly whether the
lack of trust is based on tangible substance or unjustified fears.
Different Expectations
It is not easy for a couple to walk a journey together for a long time. The elements
that frequently draw two people toward one-another at the beginning of a relationship –
physical attraction, sexual passion, common interests, personality connections, socioeconomic backgrounds – often become less central as the realities and demands of day to
day life sets in. Overtime, expectations of a couple in the relationship may differentiate,
as they begin to see their respective life plans as “what I want,” instead of “what we
want.”
Differences in Priorities
For some, the significant-other relationship (and family) is the primary center of
gravity of life. Nothing else comes close in its importance. For others, a romantic
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relationship, even a committed one, is but one facet of life. There are many other aspects
of life which, in their perspective, can justifiably take higher priority.
Compatibility Issues
When one partner is learning and growing at a rapid pace, while the other is
stagnating, this may be a source of relational divergence. One example of this would be a
partner advancing quickly in her career and society, while her significant other is
stagnating at home. The professional and social circles of the couple begin to diverge,
and soon the couple differentiate themselves from one another.
Communication Issues
Communication has been touted as the single most effective attribute of a
successful relationship. On the other hand, it is also the biggest reason why couples
breakup. Dr. John Gottman of the University of Washington, a foremost expert on couple
studies, concluded after over twenty years of research that the single, best predictor of
breakup is when one or both partners show contempt in the relationship. Contempt, the
opposite of respect, is often expressed via negative judgment, criticism, or sarcasm
regarding the worth of an individual. In communication studies, this is known as being
“tough on the person, soft on the issue”. Contemptuous communication works like
poison, it destroys the health and well-being of a romantic relationship.
Money Issues
The longer a couple has been together in a committed relationship, the greater the
possibility of financial incompatibility. Money issues and disputes tap into some of our
deepest psychological needs and fears, including and not limited to trust, safety, security,
power, control, and survival. The money itself usually is not the reason to part ways.
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Instead, couples tend to breakup over continuous disagreements about their finances.
These run the scope of excessive spending and debt.
Low Self-Esteem
In love relationships, self-esteem is necessary for both partners to feel valued and
secure. When one partner has low self-esteem, he or she may not feel confident or secure
in the relationship. Individuals with low self-esteem do not see their own worth and may
stay longer in an unhealthy relationship than those with a higher sense of self-worth.
Control Issues
An uneven distribution of power can prompt trouble in love relationships, too.
This relationship problem can rear its head in a number of ways and may even go on for
years before one partner decides enough is enough. Control issues may include: one
partner making all the decisions without consulting the other; manipulation; controlling
the money and requiring that the other partner ask them when cash is needed; requiring
that one’s partner check-in or ask for permission before going out with family or friends.
On Effects of Breakup
Positive Effects
Although a breakup is an end, it is also a beginning. This is a chance for people to
start all over, to have a new perspective on life, love and themselves. People often
associate breakups with letting go, someone, they love, but a breakup can also help them
let go of pain, toxicity, low self-worth, co-dependence, and negativity. Not to mention
this gives them a brand new chance to find the love that they actually deserve. No matter
what their situation is, what the reason behind their split was, breaking up can be a
chance to let go everything that was dragging them down and to start their life anew.
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People should not think of their failed relationship as a waste of time because it is
absolutely the opposite. Although things did not work out, they could look back on the
experience and find so many things that they learned about themselves. Whether it is that
they need to focus more on their studies, work on their jealousy issues, practice self-love
more often, or that they are even more awesome than they thought they were before, a
breakup can make them so much more in touch with who they are as a person. Learning
about themselves is extremely important because it help them understand why they do the
things they do, how to be better person and how to live the happiest lives they can live.
Going through breakup help the people learn what work for them and what does
not when it comes to relationships. They understand themselves a little bit more, their
taste, what they think they want vs. what they actually need and may be even bad dating
patterns they may have. They also may even learn that they do not actually want a
relationship at this point in their life in the first place, which is completely better as well.
In most cases, they have to make decisions and plans with their partner in mind,
which can be pretty exhausting sometimes. These years are the years to focus on
themselves, to be selfish and to figure out what makes them happy. While doing these
things in a relationship is definitely possible, it is pretty unlikely they will be a top
priority. According to Berman, after a breakup is the perfect time to use all of their
energy to focus on them. This is the time to make themselves the top priorities for once.
So they can spend time with the people who make them laugh and think they are
amazing.
Going through any painful experience is always difficult, but they are going to
come out on the other side tougher and even more capable of tackling what lies ahead. It
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can be extremely difficult to let go something that is not meant for them, but doing this
shows courage, maturity, and sets their personal standards in place for future
relationships. As hard as it may be when it is happening, letting go of the past partner will
make them happier, stronger, and more fulfilled in the long run. According to Gregoire
(2015), recovering from heartbreak does not happen overnight. People are going to have
to cry and be vulnerable before they can pick themselves back up again and start moving
forward. But opening themselves up to risk experiencing any kind of loss in the first
place is an underrated kind of strength.
According to DePaulo (2011), it is better to be single than to be in a relationship
that makes them feel depressed. Being single can be empowering, educational and
freeing. Getting out of a relationship is the perfect time to let go, move forward, and to
make them stronger and eventually lead an amazing life.
Negative Effects
The psychological pain experienced when one is rejected, betrayed, or abandoned
is very real. According to Fisher (2010), the same part of the brain that processes physical
pain is activated when the emotional pain of a breakup is felt, and the person feels,
behaves, and reacts in a similar way as someone who is in a great deal of physical pain. It
may be that people who say it feels like their heart has been broken are describing a real
physical painful sensation. For adolescents, in particular, breakups can precede the
development of major depression, partly because they may not yet have the life skills and
experience to manage the psychological pain associated with the end of a significant
relationship.
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According to Fisher (2016), romantic love actually activates the part of the brain
which is associated with cravings for foods and drugs, a similar experience of craving
and withdrawal is to be expected following a breakup. According to Carol Dweck (2016),
the person experiencing a breakup cannot stop thinking about their past partner and their
past, the "good times," going over and over what went wrong and what they might have
been able to do to prevent the breakup. Seeking to reconnect with the past partner or
continue to want to be part of their lives is normal, and can include everything from the
classic "drunk texting the ex" to the more dangerous forms of obsession and criminal
stalking behavior.
When a person attempts to overcome a love relationship breakup, the person may
respond with feelings of shock, being in denial, attempts to bargain with the past partner
to reconsider, feeling angry and sad, grieving and eventually come to accept that it is
over.
The brain is wired to perceive disconnection from sources of love and attention as
highly distressing. To be dumped by their partner whom they trust is psychologically
scary, painful, and stressful. As the person is attempting to cope, all of the normal
responses to being in a high-stress state can occur. The person's appetite and sleep, ability
to pay attention and concentrate, energy and motivation, and immune system can all be
affected.
According to Lira (2017), the person experiences an immediate shift in identity
from being a part of a couple to being single again. Rapid shifts in identity cause
disorientation for most people, requiring time and emotional and cognitive processing to
reorient to their new identity. There can be a loss of status, home, friends, time with
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children, extended family, places of worship, financial resources, and other changes and
losses in rare cases, which are unexpected.
To summarize, the similarities and differences of the present study and the past
studies cited are presented. The current study is similar with the above research studies as
they present various effects of love relationship breakup. However, a simultaneous
approach in the analysis of nature of breakup and effects of love relationship breakup
makes it different from the past studies.
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Conceptual Framework
Nature of breakup
The researchers were guided with the research paradigm presented below.
Possessiveness
Theme: Causes of love
relationship breakup of
the respondents
Interference of Third Party
Differences in opinion
Trust issues
Compatibility issues
Experience of breakup in relation to its effects
Stress
Difficulty sleeping
Negative effects
Lack of trust
.
Fear of another
breakup
Loneliness and
social inhibition
Theme: Effects of love
relationship breakup of
the respondents
Physical and
Mental health
Positive effects
Positive emotions
Motivation due
to Ignorance
Family and
Friends
Solitude and
Independence
Figure 1. The Research Paradigm
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The paradigm shows the emerging themes on Nature of breakup and Effects of
love relationship breakup of the respondents.
Operational Definition of Terms
The following terms are operationally defined for better understanding of this
study.
Love Relationship. In this study, it refers to the way in which the respondents and
their corresponding love partners were connected in a relationship.
Love Relationship Breakup. In this study, it refers to the termination of an
intimate love relationship of the respondents by any means other than death.
Personal Development. In this study, it refers to the activities that improve
awareness and identity, develop talents and other potentials, enhance the quality of life of
the respondents after their breakup.
Social development. In this study, it is defined as prioritizing human needs in the
growth and progression of the social life of the respondents after their breakup.
Physical development. In this study, it refers to the physical health and ailments
of the respondents after their breakup.
Mental development. In this study, it refers to the mental health and ailments of
the respondents after their breakup.
Possessiveness. In this study, Possessiveness refers to the respondents’ attributes
of having or manifesting a desire to control or dominate their love partner, especially in
order to limit that love partner's relationships with others.
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Interference of Third Party. In this study, Interference of Third Party refers to a
person or group besides the two primarily involved love partners in the relationship of the
respondents, especially causing disputes between them.
Differences in opinion. In this study, Differences in opinion refer to a
disagreement or argument about something important or the speech act of disagreeing or
arguing or disputing between the love partners in the love relationship of respondents.
Trust issues. In this study, Trust issues refer to lack of trust or confidence of a
person towards his/her love partner: a feeling that one of the partners is not honest and
cannot be trusted in the relationship of the respondents.
Compatibility issues. In this study, Compatibility issues refer to incapability of a
person to perform in harmonious or agreeable combination with his/her love partner and
more precisely it refers to lack of spending time with one another in the love relationship
of the respondents.
Positive effects. In this study, Positive effects refer to the personality variable that
involves the experiences of positive emotions and positive feedback of the respondents
due to love relationship breakup.
Negative effects. In this study, Negative effects refer to the personality variable
that involves the experiences of negative emotions and poor self-concept of the
respondents due to love relationship breakup.
Research Methodology
Research Design. In this study, the qualitative type of research was utilized.
Population and Sample. The participants in this study were 5 Filipino and 5
Indian students who were chosen purposively. It was comprised of college students who
15
were studying from January 2017. The demographic profile of the participants is
presented in Table 1.
The 10 respondents were selected based on the following criteria; those a) who
experienced breakup at least 6 months ago. b) who were studying in the University of
Northern Philippines during the second semester of school year 2016-2017.
Table 1
Demographic Profile of the Participants
Sex
Breakup
Participants
UNP college
students
Male
Female
5
5
Age
18-20
No. of
Breakups
1-3
Length of the
last relationship
2 months – 2 years
(appx.)
Data Gathering Instrument. The researcher made interview guide was used to
gather the qualitative data from the respondents during the interview sessions.
Data Gathering Procedure. The researchers conducted a personal interview of
the participants at their most convenient time. Prior to the conduct of the interview, the
researchers verbally informed the participants regarding the nature, purpose, and
procedures of the study. The researchers assured the participants that there were no risks
involved in the study and that their identity would not be disclosed. Informed Consent
was given to the participants. Simple snack was given to each participant after the
interview as a sign of the researchers’ gratitude. Results of the research were treated with
utmost respect and confidentiality.
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The researchers transcribed and coded the themes from the interview transcripts.
The interviews were content analyzed using the Interpretative Phenomenological
Approach. The interview sessions were independently evaluated by three raters, including
the researchers. Common themes were drawn from the responses of the respondents.
The final stage of the analysis process was interpretation which involved the
explorations of the findings and attaching significance to particular results and putting
patterns into an analytic framework.
Chapter II
PRESENTATION, ANALYSIS AND INTERPRETATION OF DATA
This chapter presents, analyzes and interprets the data gathered in the study.
Nature of Breakup
Several manifestations of breakups were noted from the respondents. Two major
themes emerged namely: a) Causes of love relationship breakup of the respondents b)
Experiences of breakup in relation to its effects
Table 2
Nature of Breakup
Themes
Causes of love relationship breakup
of respondents
Subthemes:
Description
This category includes causes of love relationship
breakup of the respondents with their past partners.
Possessiveness
Possessiveness refers to having or manifesting a desire
to control or dominate another love partner, especially
in order to limit that love partner's relationships with
others.
Interference of Third Party
Interference of Third Party refers to a person or group
besides the two primarily involved love partners in
relationship, especially causing disputes between them.
Differences in opinion
Differences in opinion refer to a disagreement or
argument about something important or the speech act
of disagreeing or arguing or disputing between the love
partners.
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Trust issues
Compatibility issues
Trust issues refer to lack of trust or confidence of a
person towards his/her love partner: a feeling that
someone or something is not honest and cannot be
trusted in a relationship.
Compatibility issues refer to incapability of a person to
perform in harmonious or agreeable combination with
his/her love partner and more precisely it refers to lack
of spending time with one another in a relationship.
Causes of love relationship breakup of respondents
Respondents reported their experiences of causes of the breakup and inflicts, that
led to the breakup between their past partners. The causes of their breakup are due to
Possessiveness, Interference of third party, Differences in opinion, Trust issues and
Compatibility issues.
Possessiveness
Possessiveness was found to be the primary cause for the breakup of respondents
between their past partners. They consider possessiveness to be their basic right in a
relationship as expressed by P3 that he always wanted his past partner to maintain limits
with her friends and to spend more time with him than anyone else in her circle.
Normally, it has been found that relying too much on a person or spending too
much time on the thoughts of a particular person leads one to be possessive as shared by
P2 that he cared too much and was possessive about his past partner to protect her that
led to fights, disputes and finally breakup.
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Possessiveness can also be because of some unknown hidden fear in the minds.
For instance, the very fear of losing someone special from one's life makes him/her
possessive by nature. Adding strength to this statement, P7 reported that her past partner
was possessive and suspicious about her and wanted to know where she was when she
did not reply his messages and calls, demanded an explanation for the same whenever she
went out without him which led to their breakup.
Interference of Third Party
Interference of Third Party refers to a person or group besides the two primarily
involved love partners in relationship, especially causing disputes between them as
expressed by P1 that parents of his past partner opposed their love and so she started to
dislike him which eventually led to their breakup. When someone in a love relationship
let the third person interfere into his/her personal affairs or conflicts, things may end up
nastily. Many love relationships are ruined due to the unnecessary interference of friends.
Some friends have the habit of showing the negative sides of a relationship all the
time. They always want the person in love relationship to believe that his/her relationship
will not work as reported by P5 that his friend betrayed him by warning about the trust
and durability of his relationship with past partner after which his friend and his past
partner committed to each other which led to their breakup.
Differences in opinion
Disagreements and arguments are natural, focused reactions to a person’s
decisions or behavior. But when disagreements and arguments snowball into global
attacks on the other person, and not on their decisions or behavior, this spells trouble as
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reported by P4 that he and his past partner had differences in opinion and arguments
between each other causing small fights which then turned into breakup.
Trust issues
Trust is the foundation of a perfect relationship. When both of the lovers trust
each other completely and understand each other, it prevents insecurities and frustrations
from ever cropping up and when they fail to do so, disputes occur as expressed by P6 that
her past partner did not trust her and kept on stalking her mobile for reading chat
conversations of her with her friends which made her to breakup with him.
The more doubts a couple have, the more insecure they would feel in the
relationship and the more insecure they feel, the more they would doubt each other. It is a
vicious circle that will leave both of them hurt, bitter and angry. As such P9 reported that
she had doubts over his past partner that he might have multiple affairs as said by her
friend to her and so she developed a lack of trust over him that led to a major problem
following petty altercations, which then finally led to breakup.
Compatibility issues
A healthy relationship involves compromise and a shared vision for the life of
lovers together. If their incompatibilities prevent them from building that, love would not
be able to override it for long as said by P8 that she started to feel inferior, unimportant
and unworthy in her past relationship since her past partner did not spend time with her
by hanging around with his friends all the time, inconsiderate of her which made her
breakup with him.
Time can be a big source of conflict in relationships. Arguments over how time is
spent, is fairly common in relationships. But it becomes a problem when quality time is
21
eliminated from the relationship. A lack of quality time over a period of months or years
can lead to frustration, resentment and withdrawal. It can also cause feelings of neglect,
which creates further emotional and physical distance. Failure of spending enough time
in a relationship could lead to the misunderstanding between the partners in a love
relationship as shared by P10 that her past partner did not spend enough time with her
since he was always busy with his school projects and friends, thus failed to pay attention
to her in the relationship which eventually led to their breakup.
Effects of Love Relationship Breakup
Several experiences of breakups were noted from the respondents. Two major
sub themes emerged namely: a) Positive effects of the breakup, b) Negative effects of the
breakup.
Table 3
Effects of Love Relationship Breakup
Themes
Effects of love relationship breakup
of the respondents
Description
This category includes experiences and effects of love
relationship breakup between the respondents and their
past partners.
Subthemes:
Positive effects
Positive effects refer to the personality variable that
involves the experiences of positive emotions and positive
feedback of the respondents due to love relationship
breakup.
22
Negative effects
Negative effects refer to the personality variable that
involves the experiences of negative emotions and poor
self-concept of the respondents due to love relationship
breakup.
Effects of Love Relationship Breakup of the Respondents
Respondents reported their experiences of love relationship, post effects of their
breakup and inflicts that led to the breakup between their past partners. The effects of
their breakup may be in the form of positive effects or negative effects.
Positive Effects
According to Lewandowski and Bizzoco (2007), a research has established that
positive emotions can occur following breakup, particularly when the previous
relationship did not expand the self, and when personal growth occurred after the
breakup. Adding strength to this research statement, P3 and P7 expressed a strong will to
become physically better and develop mental strength and self-confidence for tolerance
towards problems in life. As such P4 reported to become successful and prosperous than
his past partner is his primary goal in life. P9 stated that she felt independent after the
breakup and so she could spend more time in study based activities, interests,
entertainment and with family and friends.
According to Tashiro & Frazier (2006), although break-ups are stressful events,
they have the potential to produce positive outcomes. As reported by P2 that he became
competitive and developed strong attitude over time after breakup and P5 stated that he
started to hit gym regularly to distract himself from the negative impact of breakup and
he regularly maintains his physique which led to both physical and mental health, in
addition to this he also stated that he became confident, socially more active and started
23
to spend more time on extracurricular activities. P8 stated that she started to focus on
painting which helped her to distract from the memories of the past partner and
eventually made her realize self-importance.
Breakup tries to figure out who really matter in one’s life as stated by P6 that his
family served as the backbone for him when he was going through the negative phase of
the breakup. He also added that his friends helped a lot in socializing him after the
breakup. The beautiful thing about being single again is that people can take this time to
readjust and reevaluate their family and friendships. As such are the experiences of P1,
P7 and P8 that they were emotionally attached more to their family and friends after the
breakup. P4 stated that he learned a lesson from his breakup that family and friends are
the true ones who stay with him even during the negative phases of life.
Majority of the respondents stated that they became tougher and better after the
breakup. For example, P4 stated that he was motivated by the ignorance of his past
partner and wanted to become rich, successful and better than his past partner followed
by the statement of P8 that she was self-motivated by the ignorance of her past partner
and started to spend more quality time with family and social activities.
According to DePaulo, it is better to be single than to be in a relationship that
makes them feel depressed. Being single can be empowering, educational and freeing.
Getting out of a relationship is the perfect time to let go, move forward, and to make
them stronger and eventually lead an amazing life as expressed by P9 and P10 that they
feel independent after the breakup and started to spend more time with friends. P9
reported that she regained self-esteem, became active in social interaction and started to
spend more time in school activities and along with this P10 reported that he was
24
enjoying his solitude with friends and social media activities. P7 shared a touching
example that she started to believe in herself, develop self-confidence and actively
participate in social activities overcoming her inferiority complex feeling in the past
relationship.
Negative Effects
According to Hall (2006), the release of large amounts of cortisol during a period
of stress, like during a breakup, can affect nearly every system in the body, including the
blood pressure and heart rate. P5, P8 and P10 stated that they experienced stress after the
breakup. P5 added that he developed smoking and drinking habits for a while after his
breakup and vengeance over his friend who betrayed him in the love relationship and P8
added that she started to hate herself, possess low self-esteem and stayed inactive during
classes after breakup.
According to Hall (2006), the body may be unsettled by no longer having a
familiar love partner by their side, causing physical stress that keeps people from getting
the rest they need. High cortisol levels can also contribute to difficulty falling or staying
asleep. As P3, P4, P5, P7 and P10 had trouble sleeping at night because of the breakup.
P3 expressed his experience of trouble sleeping session at night that he was totally
obsessed with the memories of his past partner which eventually led to restlessness at
night and he developed a lack of trust and love towards everyone.
It is hard to involve in another relationship after a breakup as stated by P3 and P8
that they do not want to get into another love relationship since they were not over their
former breakup experience. P5 reported that he does not want to waste his time, energy
and money again in another relationship and in contrast P10 reported that she was afraid
25
of getting into another relationship anticipating the relationship failure once again and P1
expressed his fear of getting hurt again in a new love relationship for not getting into
another love relationship.
Trust can take years to develop, but it can be destroyed in an instant. People who
have issues with trust have often had significant negative experiences in the past with
individuals or organizations they initially deemed trustworthy. Trust is vital for internal
harmony and positive social functioning. The ability to effectively trust others helps
people live happy, rich lives. Trust is the foundation of most healthy relationships, but
sometimes that foundation is shaky because of events in the past as reported by P1, P3
and P9 that they developed a lack of trust over everyone after breakup.
Feeling lonely does not just feel bad though. It actually changes the way that
people look at the world and at the others around them. People who feel lonely on a
chronic basis are often more afraid of social situations, are less trustful of other people,
are more negative and have less self-control. As expressed by P1, P2, P5 and P6 that they
started to feel lonely after the breakup. P2 added that he developed negative emotions and
detached himself from others after breakup. P4 shared a similar story that he developed
social inhibition and lack of interest in daily activities as a result of breakup. In addition
to this, P6 reported that she lost self-confidence, detached herself from others and
developed negative thoughts after breakup.
Chapter III
SUMMARY, FINDINGS, CONCLUSIONS AND RECOMMENDATIONS
This chapter deals with the summary, findings, conclusions and recommendations
made by the researchers.
Summary
This study aimed at understanding the effects of love relationship breakup.
Ten students were the participants of the research and they were chosen through
purposive sampling.
Interpretative Phenomenological Output approach was used to analyze the
experiences of the respondents and to identify common themes of the study. Guide
questions were used to gather the needed data. The researchers assured the participants
that there was no risk involved in the study and identity would not be disclosed and
Informed Consent was given to the participants. Prior to the conduct of the interview, the
researchers verbally informed the participants regarding the nature, purpose and
procedures of the study.
Findings
The following are the salient findings of the study:
Nature of Breakup
1. Possessiveness was found to be the primary cause for the breakup of
respondents between their past partners. They consider possessiveness to be their basic
right in a relationship which led to breakup.
2. Interference of Third party in the form of family and betrayal of friend are
found to be the causes of the breakup of respondents.
27
3. Differences in opinion in the form of disagreements and arguments between
respondents and their past partners in the relationship caused small fights, which finally
led to the breakup of respondents.
4. Lack of trust between the respondents and their past partners in their love
relationship led to the breakup between them.
5. Failure of paying attention and spending enough time with one another in the
relationship led to the breakup of the respondents.
Effects of Breakup
Positive Effects
For the selected love relationship breakup participants, the following are their
positive effects of breakup:
a. Breakup led to better physical and mental health.
b. Breakup helped the participants to develop positive emotions in life.
c. It made them feel the importance and care of their family and friends.
d. The participants were motivated by the ignorance of their past partners after the
breakup.
e. Breakup made the participants feel independent and helped them to spend more
time on study based activities in school and home and extracurricular activities.
Negative Effects
For the selected love relationship breakup participants, the following are their
negative effects of breakup:
a. Breakup has caused stress after breakup in some participants.
b. Breakup has caused difficulty sleeping to the participants for a while.
28
c. The participants started to develop a lack of trust over everyone after breakup.
d. Some of the participants were afraid of getting into another new relationship
because of their fear of getting hurt in relationship failure once again.
e. Breakup has caused loneliness and social inhibition in majority of the
participants.
Conclusions
In the light of the findings, the following conclusions are drawn:
1.
Breakup is generally triggered by possessiveness and interference of third party
and effects come in both positive and negative forms.
2.
Positive effects are identified along:
(a) Positive emotions (b) Motivation from Ignorance of the past partners (c)
Emotional attachment towards friends and family (d) Solitude and Independence
and (e) Physical and Mental health
3.
Negative effects are identified along:
(a) Stress accompanied after breakup (b) Experiences of difficulty sleeping at
night (c) Fear of involving in another love relationship due to past breakup
experiences (d) Lack of trust over everyone and (e) Loneliness and social
inhibition after breakup
Recommendations
Based from the findings and conclusions, the researchers forward the following
recommendations:
1. A study should be conducted on people who overcame love relationship
breakup with ease and less difficulty to know about the resiliency techniques of breakup.
29
2. A productive lecture/forum should be conducted by voluntary student
organizations on love relationship breakup to help participants know about the coping
mechanisms to overcome the breakup.
BIBLIOGRAPHY
31
BIBLIOGRAPHY
Online Sources
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retrieved from https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/living-single/201405/23-wayssingle- people-are-better-the-scientific-evidence
Carolyn Gregoire (2015), Negative effects of Break-up retrieved from
https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/ embracing-the-darkside/200911/relationship-break-ups-truths-distortions-and- negative-emotions
Carol Dweck (2016), Why some people have more difficulty recovering from romantic
breakups? , retrieved from http://news.stanford.edu/2016/01/07/self-definitionbreakups-010716/
David A.Lishner et al., in the Journal of Applied Social Psychology 2011, retrieved
from http://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/10.1111/j.1559
1816.2010.00699.x/abstract
Erica B. Slotter (2011), Breakup and the self-concept, retrieved from http://faculty.wcas.
northwestern.edu/elifinkel/documents/57_SlotterGardnerFinkelInPress_PSPB.pdf
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The_ Influence_of_Romantic_Breakup_on_the_Self-Concept
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Hall (2006), Replication of cortisol circadian rhythm, retrieved from
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HE Fisher’s research in Journal of Neurophysiology 2010, retrieved from
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APPENDICES
35
APPENDIX A
Interview Guide
1. How many breakups have you had so far?
2. What is the length of your last relationship?
3. How long ago did you break up?
4. What are the causes for your breakup?
5. What are the negative effects of your breakup?
a. Personal development – Social, Physical, Mental, Emotional
6. What are the positive effects of your breakup?
a. Personal development – Social, Physical, Mental, Emotional
7. Are you in another relationship after your breakup right now? Why?
36
APPENDIX B
Interviewer’s Script
Good morning/afternoon everyone. I am Rakesh Kumar Rajasekar, a third
semester BS Psychology special program student, who is going to conduct the personal
interview session. With me is Mr.Bhaskar Ram Prakash. He will record your responses
throughout the interview session and maintain confidentiality over your responses.
Before anything else, I would like to thank you for coming and participating in
this personal interview.
Before we start, may I request you to turn off your cell phone or put them in silent
mode. Please do it before the start of the interview.
Please fill and pass your informed consent forward to me. Make sure you have
provided all the information needed and you have attached your signatures.
Today you will be undergoing a personal interview session solely for our
qualitative research entitled “Effects of Love Relationship Breakup”. You will be asked a
set of ten questions regarding your love relationship breakup. You can neglect a question
if you do not wish to answer it. Please ask me if you have any doubts regarding this
interview session.
37
APPENDIX C
Informed Consent Form
Project Title: Effects of Love Relationship Breakup.
Name of Primary Interviewer: Rakesh Kumar Rajasekar
How to Contact the Interviewer: 09334838669
I voluntarily agree to participate in this personal interview. I understand that I may
withdraw from the interview at any point without penalty and that withdrawal will in no
way jeopardize my standing at the University of Northern Philippines.
I understand that I will be asked to undergo a personal interview regarding love
relationship breakup. There are no major risks involved and that a snack will be given
after the interview.
My participation is subject to the following conditions:
1. That adequate safeguards will be provided to maintain the privacy to maintain the
privacy and confidentiality of my responses.
2. That my name will not be used to ultimately identify my responses and my
answers will not be recorded in audio or video forms; instead code numbers will
be used.
3. That my individual scores will not be reported; instead, data will be reported as
aggregate or group scores.
(Participant’s signature)
(Investigator’s signature)
(Date)
CURRICULUM VITAE
39
CURRICULUM VITAE
Personal Profile
Name:
Rakesh Kumar Rajasekar
Date of Birth:
November 26, 1997
Place of Birth:
Tamilnadu, India
Address:
4I/15A, Sivamani Illam, Kurinji
Nagar, Tiruvannamalai, Tamilnadu, India
Father:
Rajasekar Subramani
Occupation:
Inspector of Police
Mother:
Devi Suganandam
Occupation:
Teacher
Sibling:
Jagadeesh Kumar Rajasekar
Educational Background
Kindergarten:
Aruna Nursery School
2000-2001
Elementary:
Gandhi Nagar Matriculation School
2001-2010
Secondary:
Sishya Higher Sec. School
2010-2015
Tertiary:
University of Northern Philippines
Bachelor of Science in Psychology
2016-2017
40
CURRICULUM VITAE
Personal Profile
Name:
Bhaskar Ram Prakash
Date of Birth:
May 21, 1997
Place of Birth:
Tamilnadu, India
Address:
Plot No. 21, First Cross,
Dinnur, Hosur, Tamilnadu, India
Father:
Bhaskar
Occupation:
Private Company Employee
Mother:
Kavitha
Occupation:
Homemaker
Educational Background
Kindergarten:
Parimalam Matric. Hr. Sec. School
2000-2001
Elementary:
Parimalam Matric. Hr. Sec. School
2001-2010
Secondary:
Parimalam Matric. Hr. Sec. School
2010-2015
Tertiary:
University of Northern Philippines
Bachelor of Science in Psychology
2016-2017