Pleasantville took a major hit when the town cleaning union went on strike. As a person who
frequently visits city hall to pay parking tickets, it disgusted me to see the waste bins overflowing
and the general untidiness of our once-great municipal facility. As a ten-year janitor with a great
love of Pleasantville and surrounding townships, however, I believe I can help you.
Let’s face it: nobody takes a city that can’t handle its trash seriously. This is true everywhere
from Hoboken to LA. If one expects his or her local authority to stay strong, he or she cannot
issue edicts from a pile of half-written grants and empty potato chip bags.
I believe that I can help Pleasantville gain its authority back. My crew and I will break the strike
lines, weather the insults, and make sure your facilities are 100 percent spotless no matter
what. We could have city hall in pristine form mere days from the acceptance of this proposal.
First, we’ll hit the big, public areas—parks, city hall, the courthouse—and then move on to the
lesser-used areas like the municipal water facility. Our licensed trash haulers will move the
garbage to safe landfill in neighboring Maryville, where it will live out a life unhindered by the
day-to-day stresses of modern municipal management.
Then, once things are clean, we’ll make sure they stay that way as long as the strike holds.
We’ll even pick up the messes left by the daily protesters. Nobody wants to walk through a
bunch of picket signs and empty styrofoam cups! When the strike ends, we’ll give up our interim
services and city sanitation can go back to doing with it does best.
For this excellent service, we would only ask a nominal $5000 fee weekly. This is less than a
fraction of what the city spends on its own janitorial services (when they aren’t striking). In
return, we will provide the cleanest, neatest facilities the city has seen since the beginning of
this strike. As a local business owner born and raised in Pleasantville, it would be an honor to
make this city clean once again.