Uploaded by Jenny Le

Uh Oh, Spaghett-O's

Last Name 1
Uh Oh, Spaghetti-O’s
There was nothing that Jessica Jacobs loved more than her spaghetti, or as she liked to
call it, her “spaghet”. Her “spaghet” was a different kind of spaghetti, a far superior kind. The
recipe had been passed down in her family since World War II when her German grandfather
fled to Argentina. As Caucasians in South America, you would think that they’d be considered
outliers. But not to worry, her grandfather’s boss and even all of her grandfather’s colleagues
fled with him, so he was not alone. Jessica’s grandfather and all his friends even started their
own “spaghet” restaurant in Argentina and they all eventually became so rich that they could buy
all the “spaghet” they wanted.
But enough about the origin of the famous Jacobs family “spaghet”, one of the most
noticeable stories is a recent one: the time Jessica Jacobs became homeless because of her
family’s ‘spaghet’. See, she was a freshly-graduated 22-year-old living out of her mother’s
basement in San Francisco. Jessica had actually been living there for a while since graduation,
and she was having a great time. Unfortunately for her, her mother was not having as great of a
time as she was. “Get a job you useless sack of manure and get out of my house!” she’d say
regularly. One time, when the internet was down and Jessica could not play Minecraft Bed Wars
or Call of Duty with her friends, she finally decided to do as her mother wished and ventured out
to get a job.
Last Name 2
Jessica sat down in the brown-tinted, hipster-themed coffee shop. The aroma of fake,
musty coffee beans floated through the air as she nervously read over her Minecraft-themed
resume. Then, a weary-looking assistant in a worn Starbucks apron came out from the back door,
“Ms. Jacobs, the manager is ready for you.” Jessica quickly stumbled into the dark, stale room,
illuminated only by one singular light bulb hanging from the ceiling. “Wow, this place is mega
creepy,” Jessica thought. But no matter how creeped out she was from the room, she could not
predict the horror she felt when she saw who was interviewing her. “Hello, Jessica,” said
Meaghan Loop, Jessica’s long lost enemy, slowly as a grin crept up from her face. Jessica
immediately jumped up from her chair and tripped over a carton of milk from behind her, “NO!
NOT YOU! ANYONE BUT YOU!” Meaghan let out an ominous laugh, “Oh, how the turns
have tabled- I mean how the tables have turned. Yes, it is me, Jessica. I control your fate now.
You will never be able to get hired and your mom will always be disappointed in you.” Jessica
gasped, “How did you know I was only getting a job so my mom would get off my back?”
Meaghan rolled her eyes, “Because I read your application you dumb hecker.” “You’re the dumb
hecker!” Jessica fired back. Meaghan stared at her, “I guess you don’t want the job then…” and
started to walk towards the door. “Wait,” Jessica said, “I need this job. I’ll do anything,
Meaghan.” Meaghan turned her head ninety-degrees, “Anything?” Jessica sighed, “Yes,
anything.” Meaghan smiled again, “Well then, I challenge you to a ‘spaghet’ cookoff, Ms.
Jacobs. Your family ‘spaghet’ will never beat my family ’spaghet’. If I win, you will never play
Minecraft Bed Wars or Call of Duty again. If you win, you get the job and stall your mom from
kicking you out onto the street.” Jessica took a deep breath. “I agree,” she said and shook
Meaghan’s hand. And that, my friends, is how Jessica Jacobs became homeless.
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