The Kill Yourself Bike Tour in Paradise

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W A Y P O I N T S 8 R I D I NG SWEEP 3 8 CYCL ESENSE 4 0
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Cvdins Aso.idion
DIRECToR
AdventureCycling
Association
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The Kill,YourseH
BikeTourin
Paradise
Wh yY ou' lLov
l eM au i ' N
s i g h t m a r i sThr i p l eC h a llenge
bv RovM. Walhck
Ini out of
howling freezingheodwin& that slam me wateron a long, &solate,ca:#eestrctch ofbro.
head-onand reducemy speedto believethis -
I can't ken, patchedand repatchedroad that is r-r,r
three and a half milesper hour! ratdingm.m-mes.s.sob-b.b-b-bad
thth-that I.
As I agonizinglygrind towardthe top, steeling l-1-l c-c.c.cenb-b.b.b-barelyththththink.
myselfseveraltimesa minuteagainstseventy- Tearsareliterallybeingshakenout of my eyes.
mile-per-hoursusts that come frighteningly My handsfeelbruised,beatup. arthritic;my
closcto blorvingmc olf thc cdgc,a singlc nccksecmsincapablc
of holdingup mv head
Tnc:.r
l l su:n
H o u r o i tht S un
'n
tri
mrn t.o l ; rno fterthuhnr l or \rshs ni
'r
ma s s n cr ri tcr. r\cnr\ 1,nr mi l ci i n ;rr.uh'
Wh.wh.rhrvhcn r'urvll this n-n'n- fercncc.rnd its gsfing chrNion ol lo.oot
fcct.Thc route u1 is rcpurcJto bc thc grert'
c.c-erc-nd?
n-nightm.m-m-marc
in
Nighrmarchasnot beena "ord I usual' est clcwon grin rn thc sloncst distinr.
r3rcrsmrkc th.
[ *sociatcdwith hikc tou;ng And rt s co- thc uorld. Dcspitcthrt. top
scmidc
toqn ofPrir to
iunkv
liom
rhc
;limf
tsinh not a rvord I associrtedsith Hr*3n
rnd fonr
is
n'o
houre
rhc summit,n dslirdc
Fu tth eT nplc Chr llc n g c c h a n g e drh
rl la t
much longcrinybutt and nethcrrc$on: rr.
o\cr rnJ
fulvcri:ed One scntcncer.Peats
Thuc areloadsof tounsw things to do
on bcautifulMaui, thc *cond largcstofrhe
snorkcls, sail. sur{.
Hawiiian lslinds
*rtch firc dcnc.
a
luru.
whalc.wrrch.go rc
ing. Ert sL.vc-icc snowconcsundcr thc
famousbanvrn trcc. Lic on thc bcrch sith r
goodbooL.6ct r kitcborrdinglcssonon tlc
nonh shorc. Dinc on just"orld.frmous
;rught opoLaprkr (rink snrFPfcr) i't
Mimas Fish Housc And trkc )ou might
rhinL, hisurell bikc ndcsto *incncs
B ut ilr ou r c in dcc c nct y c l i n gs h ry crn d
ycrm forrdrcnturc,you mrr llnJ rt hrrdnot
$hlt
or rt lcastittcmlr to do
ro do
Thtcc
in
lrtc
and
I
did
fncnds
]rnu.rrl
mv
nics, :;6 milcs,cnd rrounJ r1."oo li* of
ri : ::i r:r:,rr' ,;:: i r:: :
rni rht suJr :rrcmonr
iooJ.srt*. rnJ moncr on th. l'ir.n moun
trin. sc beggcdIor s ps lion prssinl Jn'
cn rnJ crri,)cd to thc top br;:oo Pm.
As sc poscdat thc cdgcoithc i.ooolt Jccp cutct, thc sPc.trcular vicw not'
blockcdbl clouds.rvecouldni hclp but sigh
rt our fools ironr We had stancdfirct rnd
rnd hrd nc'cr sccn rnvone
finishcdl3sr
Hcrring this, mr ltothcr and I d<rdeJ
And. t,, rul. sih in thc $ound. {c
dorbl e l or r.emgc bi Lc
H rl c rk rl a
" rs
coul Jnt * cn compl ttr thc r ound- r ip
tourists liLe us. Fccmuc rvc rctcn t rcgt'
W
ot rnJ col Ji n thc thrn rir . \ . ho{. d t o
sc
lcft
tcrcd for thc Clclc to thc Sun rrcc.
from Prir thinv minuas bclorcthc 7ur I m. ruson rnd r;ccprcJr nJc liom I d.rtor"h"
$is $lricJ lhrt wc mighr *rsh rl rc tncd
stin. Thit turn.d out to bc i mistikc
Ric. signsind Prsonncl $crcn t lostSo. r[houch I hrd tcchni*lll' dimbcd
cd rct. Wc misscdr turnolliftcr ci{ht milcs
rnd rodcan mihs ollounc Bl thc dmc wc Halcrlnr. n hrd bcrtcn mc \or cighrccn
bxk
rcrc on trrck rnd hrllirv ut thc mounl3in ycrs ol J* .l .ur r frrf* tcr c ! . list , l" ls
climFing Thc l nph Ch.rllcngc
Onc lool ar r simPlctounst mrP "rll
cxphin rhy Rob Templin. orncr ol Sc;ond
Summcr Tours (rsn' scrondsummcr
to w s c om ) . didnt h l c to h c I g c n tu srtr
givcthrt nrmc to his Mauibikc tour
thirtv milcsto thc immcdntc
Loc.rtcJ
nonh rnd mstofrhc FiglsLnJ,iigw*citht'
shrpcdMauiis twobiglunpsrcnnc*cJlv
fic girnt.dominc$ingcrsl'
r lrr isthmus.
dorr ro,oo5-lior-oll
Hrlci.rh.
lump
is
cm
Mounirins
Wcst
Miui
mrnt volcrnorThc
mrLc up thc much smrllernonh*cstcm
for a logicrl.
h mk* rhourn'o scconds
onedrv
I
ll
spcnd
mindIo sry.
bikc.tourins
ridinground thc cmt cnd,om dl) mound
thc rvcst,andrnothcrdr.vclimbingup the
r,mrscrtlnr, mv
momtcr. ln ir*, eighrecn
to comI
hrd
rttcmptcd
brorhcrMrtc rnd
phrcthmcsmc thrct ndc'
Our hrlurc to do so is thc Lurcthit
Housc of the tusing Sun and Wind
Backin r989,I wcntto Mrui t(, ro\ cr I
biLerrcc calledCyclcto the Sun.:r thin*
H.rlcrkrh. smooth ro.ds. Ohr ol r,r.Ict jr'.rrsi'rn)nJ'ti oi rerJ in '\ld!i
cight.nilcdinb up brerthtrLrng
L
l:
1.\ l \ r r
Ri
to slayrhe dngon for good.
Sraningin the dark at 6:oo a.m.asthe
faintenbersofdam flickerdully to the east,
we tum left ln domtown Paiaat Brldwin
Avcnue. which ollicia\ strns rhe thiny'
uneight-rnileascent.Halealela'sdec€iving,
Mancrhomish proffle, looming quicr and
menicing in the distancelike an irnmense,
low.amplitudcspeedbump, is Frmed by r
stunningpurpleandpink lighr showproject'
ed rgaimt thc moning clou& asI chugthe
cighrmilesto the trafliedoggedcenteroi the
Reachingthc main intetscction.I smilc
with a whiff ofrecognitionThis is the sccnc
of the crime. Across rhe trallic light.
Brldwini namechangcsto OlindaRoadthc vile viathat took mv brothermd rnc on
yearsago.SoI hang
a wild detoureighrecn
th€ 4ht th.t in fe$ minuteswill conccdy
'
dcpositmeon HalcrkrhHighwayAnd,asI
llastcdin thefrccby
tum,l amimmcdi:rclv
rhewind.
The brcezcirom rhe crct had bccn
unusuallystrongsinccwc d emvedon Mrui
But January3o. we woulddiscovulatcr,
wouldbc spccid trccsdorltr,tumtlc'
wecds blocking rords, dcbris cveryrvhcrc.
in cffcctforthesummirs
anda windadvisorv
on Mauirnd thc BigIsland.
thc 6rsthrliofthcd;mbis
Fonunrtely.
largcly shicldedor wcstctly. Thc grrdc G
rclcndcss
andtoughbut is madccasicrbv
sighs of thc Mrui
rhc casy.on.ttrc'cyes
upcountry.Horscs,caftlc,big ranchl!nd.
giant eucalyprustrc€s.Soinctim€s.as I
rhphmicallypumpcdalong,mcthodical)y
pushing*idc rnilcsarci$t or nincmilcsPcr
hour,I imrgnednysclf in Marin County,
Crlifomir.OrMonrana.
And thcn reality hit. Thc nnchcs
smpped.The rrecswenr amy. The clouds
ofctrsh'helmetcd.
Thc hundreds
gorcloser.
mountain-bikclourilts who d fen'icduPhill
at t:oo ..m. to wihessthc glonoussunrise
at thc top of th€ cratcrbeganstrcamingby
The psoundmorphedrnoreandmorefrorn
grcen to dark purplish grey votanic rock.
SomesQnsrcd. 'lceon Rord" (nojoke:in
1971,the sunnit roadw's closcdby a sir'
foor snow dritu). On the other sideof rhe
road,many had a downhill truck icon and
the wming, "Avoid brrke failureruselow
gears."Pst the HaleakahNatioml Park
Ride,Eat,S/eep,Dream,Ride
lrc all aboulth. lou. You'w Putin
th. houtsal wotk, swd and
plannadfotthisttp Th. bicyd.
is k y in mekingWut dn.n 3 rcahtY.
ThaCcMotionAn icanotan
An'ican-nada bunng l.g.nd to.
youI wil.Lst a.!v.nlur.s
i r R | L:oo:
\.\r \T | R l cl c l l N .
o t r.
]]
enttanceat Tiooo feet, the sritchbr;ls
smndv rorhcasr
angled
southandlooped
And the nice tailwin& and tolcrablc
ragingheadwin&.
sidewin&become
Standup.Lernforward.Sit
downTuck
into the drops. Distnct yourcclf *hh $e
scencry tle coctline,rhetoyplancs
hnd.
ing at Kahului airport, rhc mounlrins ot
Wesr Maui - anotherride,anothq dav.
Look at the dou& - now youic above
you needthejack*,
themlYou'r€fr€czing,
but),oucant stop.notjustyct.Not uDtilyou
figrm out someway to nick yoursclfto bc
norc cllicicnr to pcdalfastcrin slowmotion
in rhis invisiblc,lip.chipping,spinpsrpping
qunlsandthat is whistlingin yout crrs
It wrs ffftccn nilcs of hcll
But heck if I wantcdcasv,I could
havctrkcn r helicoptcr.
For$ rr5. thcyprovidc a spectrcuhtvicw of thc crrtcr
Onlh.lr w.y tothc top./?rJr,;nnJruu_1
ror.rJ rt.Lr'-- r oil/rlirlrL
althoughI bct thcydoni ll),in liindstorms.
At noon,brnercdintodcspondcncy
by gargrnturnhoh coulds*rllow Mrnhrrtrn ion oirhc \1.,./,NR.r lput on thrccjackcts
a final tLrce.milc,duc.crsrslog into rhc lshnd.thcguidcbooks
srid.
from thc supponrrn rnd rcjcctcdentrcitics
headwinds
But ttrcrcwm no imc to pondcrhcts rojoin r\\ o ndcF insiJc$ho hadrbrndoncd
that casilytook fifry minurcs,I
ffnallyreached
thc top.I gazcdin wondcrrt andfigurcs.I urs frcuinglTLcwindsn thc hoPcinJ $trc Jnvinr do\n
vast,
summirwcrcbloring rr r susraincd
fonv.
I hrd rrtcd cithtccn rcrs to conquu
th.
rw€Dty-onrmilc.in.circumlcrcncc
craterthat I hadD\sccnin ,989. whcnn tlo milcspcr hour.with gustsrvhipping
to rhis hcsr liom top to l.onom If I waitcd
waslilledin by thc aitcmoondouds.Thc sixty-scvcn.
according
to thc ncrt drv'scdi- rnothr c,Shlcrn,\ho Lnossl I rnight havc
TheOne-DayTrlple
Ifyou ndly thin! you'tt tough,iry fic TdplcChdlcngc
dl
in onc <hy.Tht's whn cndunncccyclistJ.niccTowcr of
Anchotrgc,ALskr, rnd hcr lo..l prl PctcrBasingc!did on
Mrtrh:r, uoo3,srringing
togcthcrdl thrcc lcgsin r
Maui gnnd tour that took
thcm t*tnty.tltcc hours
andthiny minutcs,with
scvc ccnhouB alrdthr!,
tt€ir minutcaofrctual
riding titnc rnd ro,:'33
fcct of climbing Compttd
ro thc total ofthrcc indi
vidud d1a, thc dl.inonc
cutsofrbout wcnty4vc
nilcs end3,ooofcct of
"l hrd doncc:ch lcgscpantcly."saidTowcr, who orlm r
cottrgcin thc Upcounuytorvn ofKeoker,Iocatedon rhe 3,oofoovhiehwert [an! of Halcakala.
'To ukc advantegc
ofthc ishnd * its bcst.wc stancdof
Fomrnypropcrtyn r:3oc.m., shesrid.
Thc prir clinbed Halokala in rhe col night air, caughtthc
rcnownedsunriscoverthe cratcr.rnd coastcdbeckdownto hcr
houseby 7:ooa.m.Aftcrstocking
up with food.thcydidrhc
Hanr/EastIsbnd centuryloopcounterclockvisc(unlikemy
group)to takc advantagc
of the tradewinds,lcsscnthc agonyof
th. bumpy pav6."ls Towcrcallsit. rnd gctsomcprotcction
from thc eftcmoonhcatundct thc nonh+hotc Hrna Highway
cenopy.
Thc third lcg,aroundWcsr Mrui, continuedon the Hrna
Highwry pastthc rirpon md did not cxposcTowcr and
Baingcr rc darkrss unril Kaanapoli,whcn thc rcadfattcns and
snaightcnsout pa:t Lahainaandrcroas*rc isrhnus bacl ro thc
Hana.Anotha thiny milasandr 3,ooo-footclirnbbrought
them homcby r:oo r.m.
"l'vc bccntoyingwith trying to do it rgainfastcr,"Towcr
says.'But I'm torn. Ilyou go too frst, you dont cnjoythc bcru,
t. J. ,r l. '
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THESILENTBEAUTYOF ILLINOIS.
ONLYBY THE
INTERRUPTED
OF YOURLEGS.
SCREAMING
The CaliforniaCoastClassicBi<y<leTour
is a fully supportedfundraisingridethat
benefitsthe ArthritisFoundation.
Thiscoastaltour takesthe cyclistfrom
Sah Franciscoto LosAngeleswhile
pedalingpastquiet beaches,
{amous
giantforestsandworld-class
wineries,
cities.
Registration is open now! Call:
( l i mi te dto 3 0 0 ri d e rs)
5anDiegoi800-422-8885
SanFrancisco:800
454 6240
sacramento:
800 5713456
Evervwhere
elser800954-2873
o t v ttt
www.cal iforniacoastclassic.org
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l .ur rhr no:r Inf$! m(, r or i: . J. \ t l, t r ns
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JoJgttr.r11,:
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lv qmc hrcLto Mnri li,r.rrhrt 1ln.cfor:thc or smoothFvcmcnrlor hours.
grcir unlno"n. Thc ftokcn linc on thc
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Fln of this olKid! Ded:md. ihJ rl'. rdlu dfFik n,r Liic:
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Fin Hd\ o RiJcr, ,oo l,\1,trlft1ii- Cdnto!. rodtl
[email protected]
0lvtstoN
PlvotlngA non?lvotlngstyt€ .v.ttabt.
Escapades
BikeTripsforAllSeasons
MaineMid-CoastFour
Island BikeTrip
Fall Foliagein the
HudsonRi;er Valley
(Jul.8-1s&22-29,
Aug.5-12& 19-26)
(Oct.12_19)
Escapader,LLC
(800) 280-7560code06
[email protected],com
www.bikeescapades.com
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