Behind the Mask
Coaching Through Deep Interpersonal
Communication
James Campbell Quick and
Marilyn Macik-Frey
Executive coaching can focus on personal behavior change, enhancing leadership effectiveness, fostering stronger relationships, personal
development, and/or work–family integration or
specific performance issues on the job. K. M.
Wasylyshyn (2003a) and H. Levinson (personal
communication, 2003) suggested that executive
coaching reaches for a deeper level of clinical
and therapeutic intervention. The authors propose a health-enhancing, developmental model
of coaching anchored in a process of deep interpersonal communication. This approach is
neither a surface approach nor a therapeutic
approach. It is an interpersonal approach focused on safe, secure communication in which
difficult, complicated issues are addressed and
where crucial conversations occur. In this process, the executive is approached as a person,
one who stands behind the executive mask or
facade.
Executives, especially chief executives,
can be egocentric, action-oriented, competitive risk-takers with above-average anger
and hostility (J. D. Quick, Cooper, Gavin,
& Quick, 2002). Power is a prime motivator for executives, who are not typically
introspective personalities (Nelson, 2003).
Therefore, an executive’s role can become
a mask that traps him or her into communication and behaviors that come from neither the heart nor the soul. Communication
and behavior that fail to originate in the
core of who we are and what we believe
lack personal integrity and fail the test of
authenticity. Luthans and Avolio (2003)
traced the historical roots of authenticity to
ancient Greek philosophy (“To thine own
self be true”). For them, authentic leadership
best represents a confluence of positive orga-
The University of Texas at Arlington
nizational behavior that emerges from positive psychology, transformational leadership,
and ethical and moral perspective taking. Ex-
James Campbell (Jim) Quick is John and Judy
Goolsby Distinguished Professor of Leadership
and Character and director of the Goolsby Leadership Academy at the University of Texas at
Arlington. He is a fellow of the American Psychological Association (APA) and the American
Institute of Stress.
Marilyn Macik-Frey is Elvira Fuller Faust/
Goolsby Doctoral Fellow in communication and
leadership at the University of Texas at Arlington.
An earlier version of this article was an invited
address given by James Campbell Quick to the
Society of Consulting Psychology of the APA in
August 2003 in recognition of his 2002 Harry and
Miriam Levinson Award. While the authors
crafted this title in December 2002, they found the
main title (Behind the Mask) sadly ironic in light
of the SARS health scare in Toronto leading in to
the 111th Annual Convention of the APA (2003).
James Campbell Quick would like to especially thank Past Division 13 President Anne M.
O’Roark for her nomination, Harry and Miriam
Levinson for their generosity to the American
Psychological Foundation, Division 13 Awards
Committee Chair Sharon Robinson Kurpius for
her encouragement in the development of this
work, and Division 13 members for their informal hospitality over the past 2 years. We thank
Harry Levinson, Joanne Gavin, David J. Gavin,
Sheri Schember Quick, and Karol Wasylyshyn
for comments on earlier versions of this article.
Correspondence concerning this article should
be addressed to James Campbell Quick, Goolsby
Leadership Academy, The University of Texas at
Arlington, 701 South West Street, Arlington, TX
76019 – 0467. E-mail: jquick@uta.edu
Copyright 2004 by the Educational Publishing Foundation and the Society of Consulting Psychology, 1061-4087/04/$12.00
DOI: 10.1037/1061-4087.56.2.67
Consulting Psychology Journal: Practice and Research, Vol. 56, No. 2, 67–74
67
ecutives and leaders who are authentic display good character, personal integrity, optimism, and a sense of direction.
To develop fully and grow healthy, to
transcend simple physical and psychological health, we suggest that executives must
work and live with character and a deep
sense of personal integrity (Gavin, Quick,
Cooper, & Quick, 2003; J. C. Quick,
Gavin, Cooper, & Quick, 2004). So what
we are suggesting is that to reach for that
spirit of personal integrity requires executive coaching through deep interpersonal
communication. We find that in deep interpersonal communication a dialogue occurs
in which executives are able to enhance
their health and further approach greater
authenticity. Furthermore, deep interpersonal communication is the key to building
healthy, supportive, positive relationships
in the workplace and is essential to working
together (Macik-Frey, Quick, & Quick, in
press).
Wasylyshyn (2003b) showed us that executive coaching can focus on personal behavior change while enhancing leadership
effectiveness and fostering stronger relationships, personal development, and/or
work–family integration. As she well
knows, some executive coaching reaches
for a deeper level of clinical and therapeutic intervention. We are proposing a healthenhancing developmental model of coaching anchored in a process of deep interpersonal communication. This approach is
neither a surface approach nor a therapeutic
approach. It is an interpersonal approach
focused on safe, secure communication in
which difficult, complicated issues are addressed and crucial conversations occur
(Patterson, Grenny, McMillan, & Switzler,
2002). Through this process, the executive
is approached as a person, one who stands
behind the executive mask or facade.
Executive Communication
We propose a two-tiered model of executive communication. The outer tier is one
68
in which the executive engages in functional, organizational communication
through a wide variety of channels and
mediums. The inner tier is one in which the
executive engages in much more personal
and intimate communication; this is where
deep interpersonal communication occurs.
At the organizational level, the executive is
a communicator and source of information
in a variety of roles, originally etched out
by Mintzberg (1973) in his classic The Nature of Managerial Work. Communication
in these various roles, such as the interpersonal role as leader or the informational
role as spokesperson, is performance related and is separable from the executive’s
need for a much deeper form of personal,
intimate dialogue. Although executive
coaching may be done at the performance
level with a focus on the executive’s roles
or mask, that category of executive coaching does not get at the deeper level of the
executive as an authentic human being. Behind the mask is an authentic human being
in the process of development (Fosdick,
1943; Luthans & Avolio, 2003). Few executives are very clear about this distinction
between the roles they fulfill as executives
and their performances related to these
roles and who they are as persons apart
from the role. This is due in part to their
lack of introspection, yet self-awareness
born of introspection is a key element of
emotional competence (Nelson, 2003).
At a deep interpersonal level, the executive must deal with his or her more complex, emotional, and conflicted nature
(Levinson, 1985). It is at this deeper emotional level that emotional toxins may accumulate within the executive ranks, having adverse health effects both on the individual executive and on the larger
organizational system as emotional pain
spreads (Frost, 2002). One important
source of emotional pain is unresolved inner conflict and tension. Resolving inner
conflict and tension through emotional expression has consistently been found to
Consulting Psychology Journal: Practice and Research
Spring 2004
have health-enhancing value (Pennebaker,
1997). Furthermore, the processes of confession and expressive writing outlined by
Pennebaker (1995, 1997) enable the person
to develop a deeper understanding of his or
her complex emotional life.
Our health-enhancing, developmental
model of executive coaching through deep
interpersonal communication may serve as
a form of primary prevention within an
organization (J. C. Quick, Quick, Nelson,
& Hurrell, 1997), which compliments
Schein’s notion of organizational therapy
(J. C. Quick & Gavin, 2000). Primary prevention is aimed at addressing the source of
the stress and pressure that create the risk
for distress, strain, and dysfunction. Because executives are a central driving force
for many employees within organizations,
their actions or lack thereof may serve as
positive or negative forces for employees.
Thus, the influence of top leadership on the
organization impacts the organization’s
work climate and morale of employees as
well as individual and organizational performance. When the health of one executive is enhanced, that can have positive,
health-enhancing effects for tens and hundreds and possibly thousands of others
within the organization who are in varying
degrees influenced by that senior executive.
Likewise, we suggest that when an executive does not effectively deal with emotional conflict and expression, but rather
acts out anxieties, anger, and/or frustrations
within the work environment, the resulting
negative consequences affect not only the
health of that executive, but also the health
of the entire organization.
Business as Public Service
What is our common view of business,
in contrast to our common view of the
professions? One colloquial stereotype suggests that men and women go into business
to make money, whereas individuals are
“called” into the professions, such as the
ministry to care for the distressed, psychol-
ogy to strengthen the talented and help the
traumatized, or medicine to heal the sick.
We suggest that an executive may be
called, too, and that, like Solomon (1999),
business might better be thought of as public service that contributes to the common
good when it is practiced in a positive,
healthy manner. Focusing only on the
short-term issue of making money can lead
to behavior and performance that lacks personal integrity and is at variance with the
common good. Some of the more recent
negative examples in this regard come from
Enron, HealthSouth, and MCI (formerly
WorldCom) and strike at the heart of this
issue. While Xerox paid a significant penalty of $10,000,000 during 2002 for accounting irregularities, MCI’s penalty from
the Securities and Exchange Commission
(SEC) was a quantum move above that,
amounting to $500,000,000 for a misstatement of earnings in the amount of
$11,000,000,000.
When health status is considered, there
is a positive correlation between one’s socioeconomic status and health status, as
indicated by morbidity and mortality (J. C.
Quick, Gavin, Cooper, & Quick, 2000). We
find this same positive relationship at the
level of national economies. Specifically,
those national economies with the highest
economic (read business) markers, such as
domestic product and economic activity,
also are the ones with the highest health
status markers, again considering morbidity and mortality. These data suggest to us
that good business and economic activity is
in the collective best interest of people.
These data seem to us also to stand in
contrast to the notion that people and profits are in conflict. Although we can accept
that such a conflict may exist in the short
term, we further believe that the rationale
and logic for a conflict between people and
profits breaks down in the long term.
While accepting the notion that business
can be framed as a public service in the
common good is not central to either our
Consulting Psychology Journal: Practice and Research
Spring 2004
69
model of deep interpersonal communication or to an understanding of executive
health, we view the notion of business as
public service as a useful contextual framework. This is because the process of working together connotes both a sense of personal integrity and integration as well as a
cooperative and collaborative model of collective activity that stands in contrast to the
strictly competitive, free enterprise economic model that emphasizes survival of
the fittest (J. C. Quick et al., 2004).
The Mask(s): The Roles of the
Executive
According to Boettinger (1975), management is an art form, essentially a science
of the artificial (Simon, 1969/1996), which
relies on three essential skills of the artistic
process. These are craft, vision, and communication. For Boettinger, one of the responsibilities of senior executives is to
teach, guide, and mentor. As an art, management relies on dynamic interaction and
examination of the results of one’s actions;
that is, one must learn from experience.
These notions are consistent with Luthans
and Avolio’s (2003) developmental ideas
concerning authentic leadership, which requires both optimism and direction. The
managerial skill of communication to
which Boettinger refers is the same organizational communication to which we referred earlier. It has little to do with the
personal and intimate and everything to do
with the capacity of the executive to project
positive power and influence through the
organization he or she leads.
Mintzberg (1973) found that managers
enact their positions through a set of 10
roles in which communication is integrally
involved. These 10 roles are organized as
follows.
• Interpersonal roles
Figurehead
Leader
Liaison
• Informational roles
70
Monitor
Disseminator
Spokesman
• Decisional roles
Entrepreneur
Disturbance handler
Resource allocator
Negotiator
While the increasing complexity of the
21st-century business environment resulting from the new era of globalization has
dramatically changed much of the nature of
managerial work, there is still merit in the
core of Mintzberg’s conceptualization.
The 10 roles he identified do rely heavily
on organizational and formal communication. The forums, venues, and mediums
through which managers communicate in
these roles have been transformed by the
revolutions of information technology and
the information age.
These managerial roles, or masks to use
our terminology, are part of a facade
through which others view the manager.
Levinson’s (1985) notions of an executive’s deeper complexity attributable to the
conflicts of his or her emotional life are
very much alive behind this facade. Although the facade may be functional, have
utilitarian value, and not necessarily be directly in conflict with the executive’s
deeper emotional life, the authentic person
of the executive does require a deeper,
more personal, and more intimate dialogue
to be healthy. That dialogue must come
through deep interpersonal communication.
This can happen in a long-term relationship
or a longer term coaching engagement in
which there is a role shift from executive
coach to trusted advisor (Wasylyshyn, in
press).
Dialogue Through Deep Interpersonal
Communication
In addition to the need to communicate
through his or her various formal roles, the
executive has a deeper interpersonal need
Consulting Psychology Journal: Practice and Research
Spring 2004
for communication and relationship that is
seated at the limbic or emotional level of
the brain. This deep interpersonal communication is the target of our coaching model
as it reaches beyond the superficial mask of
control, drive, and competition and develops within the executive an awareness, understanding, and management of the emotions that are fundamental to his or her
being. This level of communication functions at a deep level of trust and requires
open, nonthreatening exchange. Operating
in a relatively isolated realm, with limited
opportunities to express this deep emotional communication need, leaves the executive vulnerable to suppressed emotional
anxiety, conflict, and expression. Kets de
Vries (1989) wrote eloquently about the
problem of loneliness of command, and
Lynch’s (2000) clinical evidence on the
medical consequences of loneliness for executives and others is compelling. Hallowell (1999) suggested that the human moment at work is the antidote to this experience of human isolation and loneliness. To
be healthy is to be connected. This is one of
psychology’s gifts to the world.
What may be a more insidious, yet important, active problem is that of toxic emotions and emotional pain in the workplace
(Frost, 2002). Executives are not typically
well versed in the complexities and dynamics of emotions and emotional life. Yet the
damage that toxic emotions and emotional
pain can do to an organization’s bottom
line is real and substantive. For executives
interested in the health and vitality of their
organizations, partly reflected in bottomline results, there is an incentive to address
these deeper issues, within themselves if
not within others. Schein has talked about
addressing toxic emotions at work through
organizational therapy (J. C. Quick &
Gavin, 2000). In this framework, executive
leaders may serve as homeopathic agents
within the organization to metabolize toxic
emotions and serve as therapeutic agents.
However, the process of metabolizing toxic
emotions also places the executive who is
acting in a healthy way at risk in terms of
his or her own health. Thus, executives
need coaches who help them metabolize,
through a process of deep interpersonal
communication, any toxic emotions they
may have absorbed.
A complicating issue in the executive
coach’s attempt to reconnect the executive
to his emotional foundation is the executive’s poor introspection abilities, a trait
correlated with the emotional competency
dimension of self-awareness (Cherniss &
Goleman, 2001). Self-awareness has been
consistently identified as crucial in identifying higher success in managers and leaders (Bar-On, 1997; Goleman, 1995, 1998),
and it is felt to be the cornerstone of emotional intelligence (Boyatzis, Goleman, &
Rhee, 2000). Sala (2001) found that higher
level executives tend to overrate themselves by 15% on the self-awareness cluster compared with lower level executives.
That is, they rated themselves 15% higher
in this dimension than others in their work
environment in a 360-degree assessment.
He also found that there was a significant
positive relationship between level of management and self-misperception of this
ability (Sala, 2001, 2003). Perhaps as the
executive rises in the ranks, the feedback
from others is decreased sufficiently
enough to impact the executive’s ability to
accurately assess his or her emotional
awareness. Regardless, the inability to appreciate their relative weakness in this area
may contribute to a reluctance to remove
the mask and engage in deep interpersonal
communication.
Executive coaches can play a healthenhancing role with executives by establishing a dialogue that characterizes deep
interpersonal communication. In dialogue
we talk about the most important aspects of
our lives and drop the mask(s) that the
larger world often sees. The work of psychologist James Pennebaker (1995, 1997)
showed us the health-enhancing value of
Consulting Psychology Journal: Practice and Research
Spring 2004
71
talking about the most troubling, painful,
and important issues in open and expressive ways. Coaches can help executives do
just that to resolve tension, conflict, and
emotional pain. This is heartfelt communication, and it may even open a pathway
between the executive head and heart (J. C.
Quick, Gavin, Cooper, & Quick, 2004).
Here, the coach is an immunizing agent, an
antibody for the organization. In this regard, the coach needs a coach to keep himself or herself healthy and in balance, defended against any emotional toxins from
the system.
To do this work, the executive coach
needs a coach. We need our own coach to
help us to metabolize the emotional toxins
of upset, disturbance, and concern as we
work through deeper emotional issues that
are our own response to the emotional toxins and pain executives express to us. Harry
Emerson Fosdick (1943), the minister of
John D. Rockefeller, Jr., in the early 1900s,
learned this firsthand when he stepped out
of the pulpit as a great preacher and into the
pastoral counseling role. The first time he
opened his pastoral office to his parishioners, he was overwhelmed with parishioners talking about suicide and other deeply
disturbing issues in which he had no expertise. However, by reaching out to the psychological community in New York City,
Fosdick learned to grow deeper in his life
as a pastor and counselor and coach.
In our professional work with executives, general military officers, and university presidents, we may be characterized as
psychiatrists, consultants, “the stress doctors,” and ministers in addition to psychologists. What has struck us as important is
the need great men and women have for a
deeper personal connection in which they
can feel safe and secure to express and
metabolize their deeper emotions and
pains. While there is clearly catharsis in the
moment, this is not a quick fix approach to
executive coaching. Pennebaker (1997)
found that revisiting emotional traumas is
72
an on-going process of a lifetime. To coach
through deep interpersonal communication
is not necessarily to intervene therapeutically or psychoanalytically. We are not
talking about psychopathology or mental
illness. We are suggesting that these normal, healthy human processes of communication and relationship are essential to
the health and well-being of executives,
whose psychological health has benefits
for all those with whom they work in
organizations.
Concluding Thoughts About Healthy
Executives
We have discussed executive coaching
through deep interpersonal communication
as a vehicle for executive development and
for enhancing the organization’s health.
This model aims to compliment existing
models of executive coaching evaluated by
Wasylyshyn (2003b). While much of executive coaching has been viewed as remedial
in nature, Wasylyshyn (2003a) showed us
that coaching the superkeepers is aimed at
the top high-potential executives for the
purpose of long-term development and
contribution. This moves us away from the
therapeutic and remedial intervention toward developmental and preventive work.
To the extent we make this move, we are in
sync with the zeitgeist in positive psychology whose emphasis is building on individual strengths and abilities, rather than correcting shortcomings and limitations.
Although coaching through deep interpersonal communication may have therapeutic value to the extent it drains toxic
emotions from the executive ranks, its aim
is to build relationship and enhance personal integrity. Our observation has been
that healthy executives do build relationships, with coaches and experts as well as
with employees throughout their organizations. Such was the case for Joseph M.
Grant during the great Texas banking crash
of the mid-1980s, the most difficult and
trying period in his life (Grant, 1996). As
Consulting Psychology Journal: Practice and Research
Spring 2004
chairman and chief executive of Texas
American Bankshares, he reached out to
coaching resources, he built a management
team to take the bank through the closure
process, and he closed the bank and turned
over its charter to the U.S. government with
dignity and integrity. He exhibited an excellent example of authentic leadership
(Luthans & Avolio, 2003). Today, Grant is
chairman and chief executive of Texas
Capital Bancshares in Dallas, a bank that
has just completed a highly successful initial public offering (IPO).
Coaching through deep interpersonal
communication is an enabling process
through which executives may better connect their heads with their hearts. What is
behind the mask? Behind the mask of every
executive is an authentic person who has
deep feelings, emotions, values, beliefs,
and character. We are suggesting that the
role of the executive coach in our model is
to enable that authentic person to become
an authentic leader who exhibits personal
integrity and great character for his or her
own well-being, for the health of those
around him or her, and for the health of the
organization.
References
Bar-On, R. (1997). The Emotional Quotient Inventory (EQ–I): Technical manual. Toronto,
Canada: Multi-Health Systems.
Boettinger, H. M. (1975). Is management really
an art? Harvard Business Review, 53, 54 –
64.
Boyatzis, R., Goleman, D., & Rhee, K. (2000).
Clustering competence in emotional intelligence: Insights from the Emotional Competence Inventory (ECI). In R. Bar-On &
J. D. A. Parker (Eds.), Handbook of emotional intelligence (pp. 343–362). San Francisco: Jossey-Bass.
Cherniss, C., & Goleman, D. (2001). The emotionally intelligent workplace: How to select
for, measure, and improve emotional intelligence in individuals, groups and organizations. San Francisco: Jossey-Bass.
Fosdick, H. E. (1943). On being a real person.
New York and London: Harper & Brothers.
Frost, P. J. (2002). Toxic emotions at work: How
compassionate managers handle pain and
conflict. Boston: Harvard Business School
Press.
Gavin, J. H., Quick, J. C., Cooper, C. L., &
Quick, J. D. (2003). A spirit of personal
integrity: The role of character in executive
health. Organizational Dynamics, 32, 165–
179.
Goleman, D. (1995). Emotional intelligence.
New York: Bantam Books.
Goleman, D. (1998). Working with emotional
intelligence. New York: Bantam Books.
Grant, J. M. (1996). The great Texas banking
crash: An insider’s account. Austin: University of Texas Press.
Hallowell, E. M. (1999). Connect: 12 vital ties
that open your heart, lengthen your life, and
deepen your soul. New York: Pantheon
Books.
Kets de Vries, M. F. R. (1989). Leaders who
self-destruct: The causes and cures. Organizational Dynamics, 17, 5–17.
Levinson, H. (1985). Executive stress. New
York: New American Library.
Luthans, F., & Avolio, B. (2003). Authentic
leadership: A positive developmental approach. In K. S. Cameron, J. E. Dutton, &
R. E. Quinn (Eds.), Positive organizational
scholarship (pp. 241–258). San Francisco:
Berrett-Koehler.
Lynch, J. J. (2000). A cry unheard: New insights
into the medical consequences of loneliness.
Baltimore: Bancroft.
Macik-Frey, M., Quick, J. C., & Quick, J. D. (in
press). Interpersonal communication: The
key to unlocking social support for preventive stress management. In C. L. Cooper
(Ed.), Handbook of stress, medicine, and
health (2nd ed.). Boca Raton, FL: CRC
Press.
Mintzberg, H. (1973). The nature of managerial
work. Englewood Cliffs, NJ: Prentice Hall.
Nelson, D. L. (2003). Competencies of the stars:
What leads to success? (Executive briefing).
Stillwater: Oklahoma State University.
Patterson, K., Grenny, J., McMillan, R., & Switzler, A. (2002). Crucial conversations: Tools
for talking when stakes are high. New York:
McGraw-Hill.
Pennebaker, J. W. (Ed.). (1995). Emotion, disclosure, & health. Washington, DC: American Psychological Association.
Pennebaker, J. W. (1997). Opening up: The
healing power of expressing emotions. New
York: Guilford Press.
Quick, J. C., & Gavin, J. H. (2000, February).
The next frontier: Edgar Schein on organiza-
Consulting Psychology Journal: Practice and Research
Spring 2004
73
tional therapy (interview). Academy of Management Executive, 14, 30 – 44.
Quick, J. C., Gavin, J. H., Cooper, C. L., &
Quick, J. D. (2000, May). Special issue: Executive health. Academy of Management Executive, 14, 1–134.
Quick, J. C., Gavin, J. H., Cooper, C. L., &
Quick, J. D. (2004). Working together: Balancing head and heart. In R. H. Rozensky,
N. G. Johnson, C. D. Goodheart, & W. R.
Hammond (Eds.), Psychology builds a
healthy world (pp. 219 –232). Washington,
DC: American Psychological Association.
Quick, J. C., Quick, J. D., Nelson, D. L., &
Hurrell, J. J., Jr. (1997). Preventive stress
management in organizations. Washington,
DC: American Psychological Association.
Quick, J. D., Cooper, C. L., Gavin, J. H., &
Quick, J. C. (2002). Executive health: Building self-reliance for challenging times. In
C. L. Cooper & I. T. Robertson (Eds.), International Review of Industrial and Organizational Psychology (Vol. 17, pp. 188 –
216). Hoboken, NJ: Wiley.
Sala, F. (2001). It’s lonely at the top: Executives’ emotional intelligence self (mis)perceptions. Retrieved October 2003 from http://
74
www.eiconsortium.org/research/executive_
emotional_intelligence360.htm
Sala, F. (2003). Executive blind spots: Discrepancies between self- and other-ratings. Consulting Psychology Journal: Practice and
Research, 55, 222–229.
Simon, H. A. (1996). The sciences of the artificial (3rd ed.). Cambridge, MA: MIT Press.
(Original work published 1969)
Solomon, R. C. (1999). A better way to think
about business. New York: Oxford Business
Press.
Wasylyshyn, K. M. (2003a). Coaching the superkeepers. In L. A. Berger & D. R. Berger
(Eds.), The talent management handbook:
Creating organizational excellence by identifying, developing, and positioning your best
people (pp. 320 –336). New York: McGrawHill.
Wasylyshyn, K. M. (2003b). Executive coaching: An outcome study. Consulting Psychology Journal: Practice and Research, 55, 94 –
106.
Wasylyshyn, K. M. (in press). The reluctant
president. Consulting Psychology Journal:
Practice and Research.
Consulting Psychology Journal: Practice and Research
Spring 2004