I Can Protect Myself
Safe Sexual Touching
SAFE SEXUAL TOUCHING
?
How can I make safe decisions about
sexual touching?
SEXUAL FEELINGS ARE NORMAL
Everyone is sexual. We are sexual people
when we are born, and even before we are
born, when we are growing inside our
mother. It is just part of life.
Everyone has sexual feelings,
both women and men. Sexual
feelings are good feelings.
There is nothing wrong with
having sexual feelings. But
being sexual with another
person is a big decision. It
means choosing to share your
body with another person.
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I Can Protect Myself
Safe Sexual Touching
SEXUAL TOUCHING IS A DECISION
In a healthy relationship, two adults may decide to do sexual touching with each
other. This is a big decision that they should talk about together before they do
sexual touching. It is not something to just let happen to you without thinking
about it and talking about it.
Safe sexual touching must be between two adults who both consent to be in
the relationship. This means that each person agrees to the sexual touching.
And each person respects the other person’s right to say yes or no to sexual
touching at any time.
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I Can Protect Myself
Safe Sexual Touching
SEXUAL TOUCHING IS SAFER WHEN THE PARTNERS
 know each other for a long time
 do not have other sexual partners, just each other
 both understand what sexual touching means: how a baby is made, and how
to protect each other from making a baby and from sexually transmitted
infections
 love each other
 talk honestly about touching
 know they can trust each other
 feel respected
 feel responsible to keep each other safe
 know the difference between right touch and wrong touch
In a healthy relationship, sexual touching is done in a safe and loving way. Each
person makes a commitment to the other person. They promise not to have
other sexual partners, only each other. Each person in the relationship wants
what is best for the other partner. They do not want to hurt each other.
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I Can Protect Myself
Safe Sexual Touching
IS SEXUAL TOUCHING SAFE FOR YOU?
As long as you don’t get hurt or hurt other people, you have the right to have
your own private sexual thoughts and feelings. You also have the right to touch
your own sex parts when you are alone, in private, in your bedroom.
But it may be wrong for you to do sexual touching with a partner at this time in
your life. This could be because you need to learn more information about your
body. Or maybe you could get hurt or hurt someone else with sexual touching.
Whatever the reason, the important thing is for you to keep learning about how
to have safe, healthy relationships.
Before you can consent to sexual touching you should know:
 the difference between right touch and wrong touch
 how your body works
 how a man and a woman make a baby
 how to protect yourself from making a baby
 how to protect yourself from sexually transmitted infections
 what to do if someone hurts you with sexual touching
 what sex acts are against the law
Warning! This workbook is teaching you how to protect yourself from making
a baby and how to protect yourself from sexually transmitted infections. But it is
not teaching you everything you should know before you can consent to sexual
touching. To learn more about consent, ask a helper you trust to teach you.
Learning what you need to know about sexual touching takes time. You may
need to take classes or go for counseling before you can consent. Ask a helper
you trust to help you find out more about consent and where you could go for
classes or counseling.
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I Can Protect Myself
Safe Sexual Touching
What do you think?
1. Rosa likes Shawn as a friend and nothing more. Lately Shawn has been
coming on to her, touching her and calling her hot. He has sexual feelings for
Rosa but Rosa is not comfortable.
Is this right touch or wrong touch?
Does Rosa consent to be touched?
YES
or
NO
What could Rosa say? What should Shawn do?
________________________________________________________________
2. Carl and Max have strong sexual feelings. They didn’t talk about having sex
but it just happened.
What can happen to Carl and Max? Can they get hurt?
Is it safe for two people to have sex without talking about it?
Why or why not?
________________________________________________________________
3. Derrick and Anisha had sex but Derrick does not feel right about it. He wants
to wait until they know each other better. But he is afraid that Anisha will
dump him if he won’t have sex.
Is it OK for Derrick to say no to Anisha after he already said yes?
What could Derrick say?
________________________________________________________________
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I Can Protect Myself
Safe Sexual Touching
4. Hank always wants to hang around with Terry. Terry does not like it.
Does Terry consent to be in a relationship with Hank?
YES
or
NO
Would it be hard for Terry to tell Hank to stop hanging around?
YES or NO
What could Terry say?
________________________________________________________________
5. Pam is a really good listener. She wants to be sure she understands how
Corey feels about their relationship. Corey mostly wants to do sexual
touching, not talk. He never seems interested in what Pam thinks or feels.
What do you think about this relationship?
Do you think someone could get hurt?
What could Pam say or do?
________________________________________________________________
6. Lorna and Gerry have been dating for four months. They like to spend time
together. They had an honest talk about their sexual feelings and decided to
wait before they have sex. They have never had sex education and they want
to learn more about their bodies so they can keep each other safe.
What do you think about this relationship?
What do Lorna and Gerry want for each other?
________________________________________________________________
7. Mandy has sex with someone she barely knows because she wants to know
how it feels. Later she feels sad because the guy does not seem to care about
her at all.
What do you think about Mandy’s decision?
Was this safe sexual touching for Mandy or the guy?
________________________________________________________________
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I Can Protect Myself
Safe Sexual Touching
IMPORTANT MESSAGES FOR ME
* SEXUAL TOUCHING IS A DECISION, NOT SOMETHING TO JUST LET HAPPEN
TO ME.
* IN A HEALTHY RELATIONSHIP, BOTH PEOPLE AGREE TO BE IN THE
RELATIONSHIP AND ONE PERSON DOES NOT CONTROL THE OTHER PERSON.
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