Sophomore I: Joining the Conversation
Name____________________________Period_____
Joining the Conversation Essay:
FULL DRAFT DUE DATE:
MONDAY, MARCH 7TH, 11:59 PM
Claim: The beginnings of an argument. Your claim is an analytical statement that requires evidence to be proven—without evidence, it is merely an assertion. Your
claim is the first step in building an argument.
Evidence: What you supply to prove your claim. It is your responsibility as a writer to explain clearly the relationship between your supplied evidence and your stated
claim. Need MLA citations.
Interpretation: to form an opinion or reach a conclusion through reasoning of information. You must infer ideas or greater insights from your evidence. This may also
be referred to as developing your evidence. This is the section is about your voice.
Counterclaim: The opposition’s claim.
Rebuttal: The response to the counterclaim. The rebuttal should reflect the claim and be generated from evidence.
Exit: a statement that explains why a particular example provides evidence that supports a particular claim.
**CLASS NOTES**
Essential Question: Answer one of the following essential questions for this essay
Option 1: Controversial Issue Question
(you selected this)
Option 2: What is an “ideal” education?
(MACRO-CLAIM)
Option 3: Should animals be kept in
captivity? (or) What are people’s ethical
responsibility towards animals?
(MACRO-CLAIM)
Consider the possible specific ideas you
could address to attack this essential
question:
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Sophomore I: Joining the Conversation
CHOICE 1: Your controversial issue of choice (pick two micro-claims that feed into the macro-claim)
Example Claim Set-Up #1: While some in the American public may argue ________________, in order for America to be more democratic, we should
adopt/legalize/support/ban _____________ because ___________ and ____________.
CHOICE 2: “Good” Education (pick two micro-claims that are complementary to answer the macro-claim): curriculum that fosters creativity, the
use or elimination of standardized tests, more time in school through longer school hours or days, the use or elimination of tracking, specific types of
teachers, and other topics that you find interesting.
Example Claim Set-Up #1: While there are many problems in the education system, the major problems are _________ and ________ which could be
reformed with ________ and ______.
Example Claim Set-Up #2: Some people in American society may argue that there is no ideal model of education; however, it is clear that _______ and
_______are the most crucial aspects of student-centered education.
CHOICE 3: Animal Captivity (pick two micro-claims that are complementary to answer the macro-claim): taking animals from their natural
habitats, treatment of animals already in captivity, treatment of animals in the wild, trainers lacking knowledge, false advertisement, and other topics that
you find interesting.
Example Claim Set-Up #1: Companies like Seaworld argue ____________________, but animal should not be kept in captivity because
______________ and _________________.
Example Claim Set-Up #2: The documentary Blackfish argues that ______________ and _______________; however, _____________.
INTRODUCTION:
Attention-Getter via “They Say”: Start with a description of the THEY SAY. Describe a specific naysayer through evidence.
According to Seaworld’s website, they work towards “animal care, conservation, rescue and research [that] has advanced the well-being of
animals in our parks as well as the wild.” Seaworld is claiming that they work to help animals that live in their parks and those that live in the
wild.
Introduce the conversation: What is the controversy? What, when, and where have people recently been arguing? Who are the major speakers in this
conversation?
Within the last two years, companies like Seaworld have become more defensive of their practices because documentaries like Blackfish has
depicted places like Seaworld as unethical institutions for animals. People who currently and previously worked for Seaworld as well as
animal conservationists and audience members have chimed into this heated conversation about whether or not animals should be kept in
captivity for long periods of time.
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Sophomore I: Joining the Conversation
MACRO-CLAIM: Write a macro-claim that answers the essential question using two micro-claims.
However, people should not be allowed to keep animals in captivity because of the physical danger to animals and even people, as well as the
psychological effects on the captives.
FIRST BODY PARAGRAPH: (You already completed at least a draft of this paragraph).
Micro-Claim #1: Topic sentence of this paragraph that should parallel the macro-claim.
Evidence #1
Context or necessary background for evidence
Direct Quote/ Paraphrase/Summary + MLA Citation Direct quote, paraphrase, summary + MLA citation. (Sources may include: Ken Robinson’s
“Schools Kill Creativity” TED talk, David Guggenheim’s Waiting for Superman, debaters from New York Times, Gabriela Cowperthwaite’s Blackfish, your
selected sources, and background knowledge)
Interpretation #1:
Surface - If you provided a direct quote, what are KEY WORDS from the evidence you have to explain? What is the speaker saying (in your own words)?
Deep - Interpret the evidence to clearly show how the evidence proves your claim. (Do not use the word “my claim” in your interpretation.)
Transition between evidence/interpretation #1 and evidence #2 (Refer to transition word list for more ideas).
Evidence #2
Context or necessary background for evidence
Direct Quote/ Paraphrase/Summary + MLA Citation Direct quote, paraphrase, summary + MLA citation. (Sources may include: Ken Robinson’s
“Schools Kill Creativity” TED talk, David Guggenheim’s Waiting for Superman, debaters from New York Times, Gabriela Cowperthwaite’s Blackfish, your
selected sources, and background knowledge)
Interpretation #2: (with counterargument & rebuttal)
Surface - If you provided a direct quote, what are KEY WORDS from the evidence you have to explain? What is the speaker saying (in your own words)?
Counterargument: What would “They Say” against your evidence/interpretation?
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Sophomore I: Joining the Conversation
Ex: ________ may counter argue that _________________.
Rebuttal/Deep Interpretation – Why is the counterargument not applicable or relevant? Interpret evidence #2 more to clearly show how the evidence
proves your claim. (Do not use the word “my claim” in your interpretation.)
Ex 1: While ______ might be true in ______ situations, ___________________________.
Ex 2: __________’s perspective on _______ is limited because ____________; it is more necessary to….
Exit: “So what”? Compare and contrast evidence #1 and evidence #2. Revisit your claim clearly here given the evidences you provided in this paragraph.
Provide your readers with a meaningful closing for this paragraph (possibly to transition to the next body paragraph).
SECOND BODY PARAGRAPH: (Paragraph Break Here)
Micro-Claim #2: Topic sentence of this paragraph that should parallel the macro-claim.
Evidence #3
Context or necessary background for evidence
Direct Quote/ Paraphrase/Summary + MLA Citation Direct quote, paraphrase, summary + MLA citation. (Sources may include: Ken Robinson’s
“Schools Kill Creativity” TED talk, David Guggenheim’s Waiting for Superman, debaters from New York Times, Gabriela Cowperthwaite’s Blackfish, your
selected sources, and background knowledge)
Interpretation #3:
Surface - If you provided a direct quote, what are KEY WORDS from the evidence you have to explain? What is the speaker saying (in your own words)?
Deep - Interpret the evidence to clearly show how the evidence proves your claim. (Do not use the word “my claim” in your interpretation.)
Transition between evidence/interpretation #1 and evidence #2 (Refer to transition word list for more ideas).
Evidence #4 (Counterargument Evidence*)
Context or necessary background for evidence
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Sophomore I: Joining the Conversation
Direct Quote/ Paraphrase/Summary + MLA Citation Direct quote, paraphrase, summary + MLA citation. (Sources may include: Ken Robinson’s
“Schools Kill Creativity” TED talk, David Guggenheim’s Waiting for Superman, debaters from New York Times, Gabriela Cowperthwaite’s Blackfish, your
selected sources, and background knowledge)
Ex: A naysayer like ___________ would argue that _________________.
Interpretation #4: (with counterargument & rebuttal)
Surface - If you provided a direct quote, what are KEY WORDS from the counterevidence you have to explain? What is the speaker saying (in your own
words)?
Rebuttal/Deep Interpretation with Additional Evidence – Why is the counterargument not applicable or relevant? Interpret evidence #4 more to show
why it is faulty. Provide evidence that back up your rebuttal.
Ex 1: While ______’s evidence might be true in ______ situations, evidence on ___________ clearly proves….
Ex 2: __________’s perspective on _______ is limited because ____________; the evidence on _____________ disproves…..
Exit: “So what”? Compare and contrast evidence #1 and evidence #2. Revisit your claim clearly here given the evidences you provided in this paragraph.
Provide your readers with a meaningful closing for this paragraph (possibly to transition to the next body paragraph).
CONCLUSION:
Recap: Restate micro-claim #1, micro-claim #2, to show MACRO-CLAIM. Use fresh language.
While institutions like Seaworld may help some animals, the majority of the animals in captivity should not remain in captivity because of the
physical risks these enclosures pose to the animal and the people around the animal, as well as the permanent, psychological damage to the
animals.
Connection/Synthesis: So what? How does this claim apply to the larger world?
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Sophomore I: Joining the Conversation
As our society advances and finds new sources for entertainment and new ways to help animals, it is necessary to reevaluate how we treat
animals today.
Clincher: Refute the anecdote you presented in the beginning of the essay. Leave the reader listening to your voice!
Seaworld’s mission is not enough. Seaworld needs to consider the input of others who also care for animals in and outside
artificial environments.
Transition Words Brief List:
Paragraph-to-paragraph: accordingly, also, anyway, besides, certainly, consequently, finally, furthermore, hence, however, incidentally,
indeed, instead, likewise, meanwhile, moreover, nevertheless, next, nonetheless, now, otherwise, similarly, still, then, thereafter, therefore,
thus, undoubtedly,
Transitional phrases within paragraphs: in addition, in contrast, for example, for instance, of course, as a result, in other words, as a result.
FRIDAY, MARCH 13, 2014
FINAL REVISION ESSAY SUBMISSION DAY!
Directions: Follow the steps described below to successfully submit your essay.
1) Using the rubric on the back of this sheet, either SELF revise or PEER revise your essay.
 Check that your essay has each of the elements that are listed in the rubric.
 Check that your essay follows the grammar bootcamp rules. Listed here are the different sentence organizations we have previously
studied:
o IND, DCW.
o DCW, IND.
I __________________ revised my essay.
o IND1,DCW,IND1.
o IND1 fanboys DCW
If I PEER revised, my partner was _____________________________.
o IND1, fanboys IND2.
o IND1; IND2.
o IND1; DCW, IND2.
 Check MLA format for your name heading, corner heading, and titles.
o Documentary titles are italicized.
o Articles and TED talks should have “quotation marks” around the titles.
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Sophomore I: Joining the Conversation
 In the box below, indicate if you SELF revised or PEER revised:
2) Compile your submission packet in this order to turn in:
1. Your final draft essay
2. Outline/ Rubric on top
3. Draft of one of your body paragraphs (with feedback from Mrs. Delacruz)
3) Submit your essay onto turnitin.com under “Final JTC Essay”.
ARGUMENT WRITING RUBRIC
Description
MASTERY
SKILLED
PROFICIENT
DEVELOPING
UNSATISFACTORY
CLAIM:
The text introduces a clear,
arguable claim that can be
supported by evidence.
 The claim is arguable and
clearly responds to the
prompt.
 The claim is clearly stated in
the introduction.
 The claim is effectively
developed in the body
paragraphs.
 The claim is clearly revisited
in the conclusion.
 The claim is arguable and clearly
responds to the prompt.
 The claim is clearly stated in the
introduction.
 The claim is developed in the
body paragraphs.
 The claim is revisited in the
conclusion.
 The text provides effective and
credible evidence to back up the
claim.
 The text provides any needed
background of how the evidence
connects to the claim.
 The text provides credible
evidence to back up the claim.
 The text provides any needed
background of how the evidence
connects to the claim.
 The claim is arguable and
responds to the prompt.
 The claim is stated in the
introduction.
 The claim is partially developed in
the body paragraphs.
 The claim is revisited in the
conclusion.
 The claim is a statement, not an
argument.
 The claim is stated in the
introduction.
 The claim is minimally developed
in the body paragraphs.
 The claim is not clearly revisited in
the conclusion.
 The claim does not respond to a
prompt.
 The claim is not clearly stated in
the introduction.
 The claim is not developed in
the body paragraphs.
 The claim is not revisited in the
conclusion.
DEVELOPMENT OF EVIDENCE:
The text provides sufficient
evidence to back up the claim as
well as any needed background of
how the evidence supports the
claim.
 The text provides some
 The text provides minimal
evidence to back up the claim.
evidence to back up the claim.
Evidence may not be credible.
 The text provides limited
 The text provides some
background of how the evidence
background of how the evidence
connects to the claim.
connects to the claim.
 The text provides no evidence
to back up the claim.
 The text provides no
background of how the
evidence connects to the claim.
ORGANIZATION & COHESION:
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Sophomore I: Joining the Conversation

Argument is logically organized
through introduction, body
paragraphs, and conclusion. The
text uses transitional words to link
the major sections of the essay to
clarify the relationship between the
claim and evidence, as well as the
counterclaim to the claim.


The text provides effective
transitions to the major sections
of the argument.
The text clearly explains the
relationships between the claim
and evidence.
The text clearly links the
counterclaim to the claim.



The text provides effective

transitions to the major
sections of the argument.
The text mostly explains the 
relationships between the
claim and evidence.
The text links the counterclaim 
to the claim.
The text partially uses words to
transition to the major sections
of the argument.
The text partly explains the
relationships between the claim
and the evidence.
The text partly links the
counterclaim to the claim.



The text has limited use
 The text does not have transitions
transition to the major sections to the major sections of the
of the argument.
argument.
The text does not clearly
 The text does not have explanation
explain the relationships
of the relationships between the
between the claim and the
claim and the evidence.
evidence.
 The text does not link the
The text does not clearly link
counterclaim to the claim.
the counterclaim to the claim.
STYLE & CONVENTIONS:
The text utilizes appropriate word
choices and varied sentence types.
It also follows standard English
spelling, grammatical usage, and
MLA formatting.
The text utilizes appropriate and
engaging word choices and
varied sentence types.
It also consistently follows
standard English spelling,
grammatical usage, and MLA
formatting.
The text mostly utilizes
appropriate and engaging word
choices and varied sentence
types.
The text partially utilizes
appropriate and engaging word
choices and varied sentence
types.
The text has limited use of
appropriate and engaging word
choices and varied sentence
types.
It also follows standard English
spelling, grammatical usage, and
MLA formatting.
It partly follows standard English
spelling, grammatical usage, and
MLA formatting.
It does not consistently follow
standard English spelling,
grammatical usage, and MLA
formatting.
The text lacks appropriate
and engaging diction and
varied sentence types.
It lacks standard English
spelling, grammatical usage,
and MLA formatting.
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Sophomore I: Joining the Conversation
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