France’s Gossip Queen confirms the good, the bad, and the just plain
nasty rumors!
By Perez Hilton le Fleur
Monarch’s Plans to Escape Foiled! Did the King and Queen really try to
escape Paris?
June 25th, 1791 will be a date the
French people will not soon forget. To
those who crowded into the streets of
Paris, who will be able to forget the
very sight of King Louis the XVI and
Queen Marie Antoinette dressed as
servants, in common vestments,
dragged back into the city after a
foiled daring escape?
And yes my good French citizens!
This did in fact happen! The rumors
are in fact true! (However, to the
rumors that Louis was wounded from
the confrontation and is now sans an
arm and a foot, are untrue- the
disgraced King was in fact in one
piece, though he did look very ill…)
As the carriage that contained our former heads of state rolled past the good French
citizens, it was met with unnatural silence. As a Parisian myself, it was with bated breath
that I awaited my chance to catch a glimpse of the royal couple (if my readers remember
correctly it was I that broke the story of a then 14 year old Marie marrying our Louis!
What a turbulent day- I still remember the letters I received on the story- ardent disbelief,
disgust (“but she’s Austrian!”), and some very foul mouthed language!)
A face peered out from inside the carriage and to my surprise it was Louis, who looked
green tinged and close to tears! He turned to someone beside him, and lo! Marie was
ardently ignoring the man, head completely turned away from him!
I interviewed a source the next day who had seen Louis and Marie disembark from the
carriage. Laughingly, she told me how Marie had stormed away from the carriage and
Louis as fast as her armed guards would let her, and poor Louie was left pleading for her
to stand by him.
The couple had been caught in the city of Varennes, on June 21st. Speculation has it that a
citizen had recognized Louis and alerted several people friendly to the Revolution.
Citizens of France! What a turn of events! What will happen now to our two most famous
(and favorite) train-wrecks? We’ll have to wait and see!
Princess de Lamballe: Is she really the Queen’s Secret Lesbian Lover?
Public outcries went
up all around the
country this week as
rumors of Queen
Marie’s secret lesbian
trysts with her lady in
waiting, Marie
Thérèse Louise de
Savoie-Carignan, the
Princesse de
Lamballe, made their
way around
the
gossip
mills.
I received many letters from anxious and
outraged readers
wondering if these allegations were true. After
some careful research and
snooping, I was able to secure an interview with a nobility insider, who knew not only
Marie and the Princess de Lamballe, but also Louis himself!
“It is true,” the insider says. “Louis and Marie do not ever talk anymore, except on
certain matters of state and whatnot. There is no passion in their relationship- she controls
him, and he listens to her like a little lapdog, and that is about it. Imagine that! The King
of France listening and behaving so submissively to an Austrian harlot!
“But that is why she has taken to this other woman- Louis has nothing to offer- I
overheard her speaking to Marie Therese one day- oh and what they talked about! Secret
randezvous, what they would do when Louise was not around…”
Scandalous indeed! And what I found most disturbing was that there was now evidence
that Louis really is bending under the will of his traitorous wife! I ask the citizens of
France: How can we allow ourselves to be ruled by this man who allows this woman
from another country to make all his decisions for him?
-By: Demi Doukas!