Looking For My Moral Compass
Aaron J Hudson
Prof. John Chaffee
I do not believe that one can say that they have completely developed their moral
compass after a twelve-week course; unless you’re taking an Ethics & Morals course
hosted by John Chaffee. Seriously, I believe it takes one a lifetime to develop their
moral compass. Life is full of daily situations that require us to make decisions;
decisions that may sometimes come easy and some that may test our moral beliefs. I
can actually say that my moral compass has become a lot more focused these past twelve
weeks. I still have a long way to go to full development but I am definitely on the path to
understanding my own moral beliefs.
Throughout the course, we have studied multiple theories and view points of
various philosophers throughout the ages. From Jean-Jacques Rousseau’s view of
Ethical Subjectivism to Jean-Paul Sartre’s existentialistic mentality, I have ventured
through a roller-coaster of theories that have opened my eyes and mind to me. I am all
over the map when it comes to pegging me to one particular theory. I honestly don’t
think that it is possible to claim just one but if I were to do so, I believe that I am a
combination of a modern day stoic and ethical egoist. I question myself all the time
when I make decisions and the number one question that always comes to mind is, “Is
this the right thing to do for me?” I almost feel selfish when I ask myself this question,
but, I have lived life for someone else so much that I have forgotten about myself in the
process. Slowly, that selfishness has dissolved into self fulfillment and I have come to
appreciate and except that it is okay for me to make decisions based on what I want and
not what others want or want me to do. The stoic in me has allowed me to let a lot of
things go. What I mean is that there have been many times in my life where I worry
about people or situations when I have no control over what happens to either. In the
past, I have placed so much useless energy in trying to fix a problem that, in my heart, I
know I could not fix that the only outcome was unwanted stress that caused my own
body damage. So I’ve learned not to devote energy to situations where I absolutely have
no control or positive impact. Another theory that I have tried to live by and is a
continuous effort is being an existentialist. I am an individual in this world but “the
crowd” is always a factor that lingers waiting to pray on the weak. I have my own mind
and though there are always other ideas that can influence what one may think, I have
been able to think for myself and stick to my own beliefs. Don’t get me wrong, I am
open to hear other ideas but I don’t go along with the masses just because it’s a majority
rule.
The combination of theories that make up yours truly further defines why it’s not
that easy to stick to one rule of thumb. The human mind comes equipped with the
power to think freely. The choice of free will is a powerful tool and living the life of three
theories is a direct result of the choices I make on a daily basis. Throughout my life, I
have and still relate to the three moral theories I live by. I believe that everyone has a
little bit of an ethical egoist inside of them. Everyone has the moments where they
decide to do something for themselves; that desire to fulfill a dream or idea to improve
one’s own life. I am no different, if anything; I have practiced this theory more often
than not lately. The stoic in me is not 100% but for the most part, if I have no control
over situations, then I let it whatever the outcome happen. I have always tried to live an
authentic lifestyle and for what it is worth, we are all individuals and even if we are
persuaded by others to make a decision, we are all different. In that sense alone, we all
live an authentic life just because we are different. So this is how my moral compass has
come together as a cohesive whole. We are all comprised of different moral beliefs that
make up each of us. It’s our mental makeup which allows us to make those difficult day
to day decisions.
I am currently facing one of those difficult decisions in my life. My daughter’s
mother and I are separated and we are going forth with a legal separation. Our pattern
is leading towards a divorce and that has been an issue that I have dreaded all my life. I
am a product of a divorce. Fortunately, both my parents were still very much involved
in my life so I can never say that I went without a male and female role model. But
nevertheless, they were still divorced and I always said that I would never be in their
same situation. Now I am faced with that exact situation and like a loyal stoic, I have
tried to convince myself that life is life and there is nothing I can do to control these
events that are taking place. But this was not always the case. I could have made better
choices in the past to prevent the present from becoming what it is now. I could have
communicated better and maybe the situation would not be so out of hand but it is and
this is what I have to deal with now. Then there’s Lina! She’s stuck right in the middle
of everything; she does not fully understand the magnitude of what is really happening.
If there is one thing that my soon to be ex-wife and I agree on is that Lina does not need
to be in the middle of our disputes and we have been pretty successful at doing so. Lina
is a very happy child but the situation her mother and I are in is still painful.
So how do I deal with a situation like this? Do I let nature take its course and do
nothing or do I go for self and not worry about anyone else? Neither, there is another
party involved who will be directly affected by the decision I ultimately make. So I find
myself using a utilitarianistic mentality. I need to find some sort of happy medium so
that all parties involved benefit from this decision while causing the least amount of
pain. Divorces are inherently painful no matter how you try to minimize the affects. So
I find myself playing a game of process of elimination. What options do I have and how
will each option hurt the less. Here I go again putting myself last because I am not my
own priority; my daughter is always number one in my life. I continuously ask myself
questions on how I should handle this situation. I truly believe that this legal separation
is a positive solution on all fronts. It’s a step in a direction that has some sort of ending.
We have been separated physically for sometime now; the legalities of the matter define
a little more finality to our situation. My approach to this situation forces me to shift my
moral beliefs to hold account of all parties involved. I still have no final answer to my
dilemma and I’m sure no matter what the outcome will be, pain will still exist. Whether
it be on a minimal or maximum level is yet to be seen but for my daughter’s sake, I hope
and will try my hardest to make the process as civil as possible. She’s a strong and
happy child, she will be okay as for one thing I am sure of; both of her parents will be an
active part of her life.
With that said and speaking of active aspects of life, you, Professor Chaffee, have
been the one aspect of this course that has been most helpful and fulfilling to me. This
is not an attempt to score any brownie points or anything of the sort, this is the truth. I
have never met someone who is so willing to offer so much to another he hardly knows.
You have extended yourself in various forms on more than one occasion. Though I have
not yet accepted any of your offers, please know that I have heard every word you have
said to me. If there is one thing that I have learned about myself through you and this
course is that it is terribly hard for me to accept help; even when I need it the most. I
have always tried to do everything myself even if it meant putting myself last and taking
a couple of hits in the process. This course has enlightened me as to what I need to do to
better my life and those I care about most. Your course, as a whole, has taught me to
open my mind and think for myself where more than not, I have been guided by others
and their wants instead of my own. Well, no longer; you have helped me grow mentally
and I could never thank you enough. I have thoroughly enjoyed your course, meeting
you, and having the opportunity to talk to you. Thank you!!