Pirates!
The Musical
Presented by the Third Grade
Class
Lovettsville Elementary
1
*Start Entrance Music #1
*Curtain Closed
Introduction:
Charlotte (C ) :
Avast and welcome! We are glad you
could join us for today’s 3rd grade
production of “Pirates – the Musical”. Join
our crew of colorful scallywags as they get
ready for the annual “Caribbean Crooners
Talent Show” for pirates.
Iris (C ):
But shiver-me-timbers, there’s a stowaway
on board who threatens to ruin the crew’s
plans. The pirates and prisoners will all
have to work together to win the
competition and be crowned kings-andqueens of the high seas!
2
Top 10 Signs Your Child is Turning into a Pirate
Hayley F. (M)
Pirate Crew: Now parents and teachers… principals and friends… before we
see the show, we thought there were a few warrrrrnings you should hear.
Alyssa (M)
Pirate Crew: The life of a Pirate has a certain
charm, and many of the children watching our show might be tempted to
come over to the darrrrrrrrk side, so to speak. Here are the Top 10 signs
your child is turning into a pirate…
Cadence (M)
Pirate Crew: … You know your child is turning into a Pirate he is afraid of a
ticking clock. [runs around with alligator puppet and ticking sound]
Hailey D. (M)
Pirate Crew: … You know your child is turning into a Pirate when she starts to grow
a beard.
Hayley F. (M)
Pirate Crew: … You know your child is turning into a Pirate when he steals all your
jewelry and wears it all at once.
Alyssa (M)
Pirate Crew: … You know your child is turning into a Pirate when she sweeps the
floor and swabs the deck without being asked.
Cadence (M)
Pirate Crew: … You know your child is turning into a Pirate when you make a
delicious dinner and she says she’d rather “eat grog” and has buried her
treasure in her mashed potatoes.
Hailey D. (M)
Pirate Crew: … You know your child is turning into a Pirate when he spends $300
on color coordinated bandanas.
3
Hayley F. (M)
Pirate Crew: … You know your child is turning into a Pirate when she doesn’t
showerrr for a week.
Alyssa (M)
Pirate Crew: … You know your child is turning into a Pirate when they attach extra
wood to their bunkbed to make their siblings walk the plank.
Cadence (M)
Pirate Crew: … You know your child is turning into a Pirate when he holds his
sibling prisoner and demands a rrransom for their rrrelease.
Hailey D. (M)
Pirate Crew: … You know your child is turning into a Pirate when you get a letter
from her teacher asking why she has such bad grammarrrrrrr.
4
Scene 1:
Kennedy (D)
Stowaway: [talking directly to the audience]
Pirates! Pirates are very bad
people… make no mistake about
it! They rob peasants. They
ransack villages.
Thatcher (H)
Stowaway:They use terrible grammar. They
sing bawdy songs very loudly, but
hardly ever in tune. Yes… pirates
are very bad people. (pauses)
Kennedy & Thatcher:
We really want to be one!
*Open Curtain
Aden (M):
Pirate Crew: Hey, David
David (H)
Pirate Crew: Yes, Aden?
Aden (M):
Pirate Crew: I wanted to go to the movies last night, but my dad
wouldn’t let me!
David (H):
Pirate Crew: Why couldn’t you go?
5
Aden (M):
Pirate Crew : Because the movie was rated RRRRRRRRR!
Charlie (H):
Pirate Crew : Hey, Jonah!
Jonah (H):
Pirate Crew : Yes, Charlie?
Charlie (H):
Pirate Crew : I’m glad we’re not in school today!
Jonah (H):
Pirate Crew : Why?
Charlie (H):
Pirate Crew : I’m worried about my report card!
Jonah (H):
Pirate Crew : What’s to worry about? What kind of grades do
pirates get, anyways?
Charlie (H):
Pirate Crew : High C’s…
Collin (C )
Pirate Crew : Hey, Joe!
Pirate Crew : Yes, Collin?
6
Collin (C )
Pirate Crew : Speaking of school, do you know what my favorite
subject is?
Joe (C )
Pirate Crew : I don’t know… what’s your favorite subject?
Collin (C )
Pirate Crew : It’s aRRRRRRt for sure!
Joe (C )
Pirate Crew : Hey, Collin
Collin (C )
Pirate Crew : Yes, Joe
Joe (C )
Pirate Crew : What is a sea monster’s favorite snack?
Collin (C )
Pirate Crew : Hmmm…I don’t know…
Joe (C )
Pirate Crew : Why, it’s “Fish and Ships”, of course!
All Pirate come to stage front together, and ask a joke of the
audience.
All Pirate Speakers: [to audience] Knock, knock.
Audience: Who’s there.
All Pirate Speakers: Interrupting pirate!
Audience: Interrupting pir…
All Pirate Speakers: ARRR!!!
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Scene 2
Kennedy & Thatcher
Stowaways: [coming back on stage, singing unaccompanied and
dancing like the pirates were] Pirates all are we!
Pirates all are we!
Wesley (M)
First Mate: Avast!
Kennedy & Thatcher
Stowaway: [continues] Pirates all are we! Pirates all are we!
Wesley (M)
First Mate: [getting irritated] Avast!
Kennedy & Thatcher
Stowaway: Pirates allllllllllllllll are…
Wesley (M)
First Mate: [with rage] Avast! Avast! Avast! That means, “Stop it”!!!
Stowaways: [finally notices that no one else is singing and that
all the pirates are looking on with disbelief; stops and
looks embarrassed]
Wesley (M)
First Mate: When I say, “Avast,” you stop! Stop! Stop! Don’t you speak
pirate?
Thatcher (H)
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Stowaway: No ma’am. Not yet. But I plan to. For I, too, want to
be a pirate… a Pirate Crewjust like you!
All pirates: [look at Stowaway, pause, and then point and laugh]
Elliot (C )
Redbeard: You? A pirate?
Ethan (M)
Orangebeard: You’re too small!
Richy (M)
Yellowbeard: You’re too young!
Braedon (M)
Greenbeard: You’re too clean!
Kennedy (D)
Stowaway: But being a Pirate Crewis all I’ve
ever wanted to be. It’s what I’ve
dreamed about ever since I was a
child. Watch – watch this… [takes
out a very small toy sword and
waves it about while hopping up
and down playfully] Avast! Avast!
Avast, I say!
Braedon (M)
Greenbeard: Have you ever robbed an honest man?
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Kennedy (D)
Stowaway: Why, no…
Elliot (C )
Redbeard: Have you ever ransacked a village?
Kennedy (D)
Stowaway: Well, not exactly…
Ethan (M)
Orangebeard: Have you ever been six months at sea without a bath
or a shave or a shower?
Thatcher (H)
Stowaway: No. [thinking really hard, and then coming up with
something] But… once I went a week without
brushing my teeth!
All pirate: Ew! That’s disgusting!
Ryan (M)
Purplebeard: Listen up, bucko We’re on our way to the big Pirate
gathering
in the big Pirate sea and you a’int going with us and
that’s me final word!
Kennedy & Thatcher
Stowaway: But…but…
First Mate: We’ve been practicing all year for
the “Pirates Got Talent, Carribean
Crooners Competition and we a’int
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letting no landlubber like you ruin
our chances!
Stowaway: But…but…
Wesley (M)
First Mate: Arr! Be off with you now before we…
Elliot (C )
Make you peel potatoes.
Ethan (M)
Feed you to the sharks.
Braeden (M)
Make you swab the deck.
Richy (M)
Have you mend the nets.
Ryan (M)
Make you clean the Little Pirates room.
Zachary (M)
Tie you to the Mast.
Armando (D)
Pirate Crew: Oooooooooooooooooo! That’s a good one!
Zachary (M):
Pirate Crew: Stop that Pirate-business right now or I’ll get the captain!
Now - Belay that talk! It’s time we sail. Throw them
from the ship!
Armondo (D)
Pirate Crew: Arr! Throw them from the ship!
The pirate crew chases the stowaways off the ship
Kennedy:
Stowaway: Wait! Give us a chance!
Thatcher:
Stowaway: I know I can do it!
11
Tyler: Hey did you hear about the Pirate with 1 eye?
Zachary: Don’t all pirates have 1 eye?
Tyler:
No the patch is really a fashion statement. Now about that
Pirate with 1 eye
One bright and sunny day at sea, a bird flew overhead
and pooped right in his eye! You might say that you can’t
lose and eye from bird poop but you can if you wipe it
off with ye hook!
Armondo:
Pirate Crew: Move smartly, men! Weigh anchor now and away we
sail!
Tyler: I need some help with this anchor!
Elliot:
Redbeard: All hands on deck!
Ethan:
Orangebeard: Hoist the Jolly Roger!
White the pirates prepare to sail the stowaway sneaks back on board.
*Start music #3 Stowaway Hides Music
Armondo:
Pirate Crew: Fee! Fie! Foe! Fay! I smell the blood of a stowaway!
Tyler: Are you sure you don’t smell dinner? The stowaways left
the ship – I saw them.
12
All pirates: [stop and sniff the air] Arr!
Ryan:
Purplebeard: I don’t know. I don’t smell
anything at all… well, maybe
I smell some of you, but I’m sort of used to
that…
All pirates: [turn and face Purplebeard
menacingly] Arr!
Richy:
Yellowbeard: On second thought, maybe it’s my allergies.
Something does seem a little strange around here.
Braeden:
Greenbeard: Shiver me timbers! There’s a stowaway on board!
Aye! We have to find them!
Wesley:
First Mate:
All pirates:
Aye! A stowaway!
A stowaway!
Ryan:
Purplebeard: Find her, ye sea dogs! Find her!
All pirates: Arr!
13
Scene 3
Rachel (M):
Bluebeard :
Arr! We caught you now, you scurvy dog!
Now ye be shark bait for sure!
Riley J. (M)
Greenbeard: Aye! Make ‘er walk the plank! Toss ‘er overboard.
Helena:
Redbeard: Arr! Feed ‘er to the fish, the bubble-blowing blaggard!
Rachel:
Bluebeard: [offended] Hey! Watch your language!
Helena:
Redbeard: Oh, sorry. Got carried away, I guess.
Riley O. (D)
Orangebeard: Belay that, me hearties.
We can’t be making this decision all by ourselves.
All pirates: [huddle and talk amongst themselves with occasional
shoutout]
Lilly (D):
Purplebeard: Aye! You’re right! This is a decision for you-know-who.
All pirates: [gasp… shocked “no”s, “aww”s, etc.]
Thatcher:
Stowaway: Who?
Bethel (D):
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Yellowbeard: This is a decision for the King of the High C’s, that’s
who!
Kennedy:
Stowaway: The King of the High C’s!? Who’s that?
All pirates: What?!?
Bethel
Greenbeard: You don’t know who the King of the High C’s is?
Thatcher:
Stowaway: Um… I’m afraid not.
Riley J.
Greenbeard: The King of the High C’s is the craftiest crooner of
the
Caribbean coast.
Helena:
Redbeard: Aye! He’s the swellest singer in the swashbuckling sea!
Rachel:
Bluebeard: The tastiest tenor from Tahiti to Tobago.
Kennedy:
Stowaway: The King of the High C’s is a singer?
All pirates: Precisely!
Lilly S.
15
Purplebeard: Ye see, me squiffy, as we tried explaining, we are
sailing to the big Pirate Crewgathering in the big Pirate
Crewsea.
Riley O.
Orangebeard: We’ve been practicing all year
for the “Pirates Got Talent,
Caribbean Crooners Competition
because there’s always a talent
show, an instrument play-off, and
most importantly a singing contest!
Thatcher -Stowaway: A singing contest?
Lilly S.
Purplebeard: You don’t know anything about pirates, do you?!?
Danielle (D)
Pinkbeard: Aye! There’s a lot of talent sailing about in the seven
seas. All the Pirate Crewships get together and put
forward their best comedians, jugglers, dancers
and singers in the hopes of winning the grand
prize!
Thatcher -Stowaway: What’s that?
Danielle - Pinkbeard:
Yo, ho, ho! It’s a bottle of…
Bethel -Yellowbeard: Sarsaparilla!
Kennedy:
Stowaway: Blimey!
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Helena:
Redbeard: Blimey… spoken like a true pirate!
Thatcher:
Stowaway: [hopefully] Really?
All pirates: No.
Kennedy:
Stowaway: Can I meet him? Can I really meet the King of the High
C’s?
Lilly S.
Purplebeard: Meet him you will, you scallywag! He’ll be the
one deciding your fate. And let me warn you, he
doesn’t take kindly to stowaways.
Danielle:
Pinkbeard: Especially if you can’t carry a tune!
Bethel:
Yellowbeard: Here he comes now. It’s the King of the High C’s .
Bella J. (H)
Queen: Those rehearsals are really paying off!
Max S.
King:
How are the preparations for our group number
coming?
Bella
Queen: You would know if you ever bothered to come to rehearsals.
17
are
Max:
does
You always seem to be getting your “beauty” rest when we
working. I don’t know what you would do without me.
Yes I am lucky to have you and I need my beauty rest – this
Not happen by itself. Now back to our group
number. Show me what you’ve got!
18
Scene 4:
Max:
King:
Thank you! Thank you all. I am good, am I not?!?
Jill (D):
Pirate Crews: Aye, your majesty!
Brinnay:
Pirate Crew: Aye! The very best! I think the King wants more
applause,
more applause, more applause…
arrrrg!
Jill:
Pirate Crew: Aye, your majesty! But we have a bit of a problem here.
Bella:
Queen: What is it?
Jill:
Pirate Crew : Well sir, it seems we have a stowaway on board.
Max:
King: A stowaway? Shiver me timbers… that’s not a problem.
Send her bones to Davy Jones!!!
Brinnay:
Pirate Crew : Aye sir, but she wants to be a pirate, sir.
Bella:
Queen: Oh, really?!?
Jill:
Pirate Crew : Blimey, sir. They says that they want to be just like you.
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Max:
King: Well, sink me! Who wouldn’t?!?
Jill:
Pirate Crew : We tried to explain that they couldn’t…
Brinnay:
Pirate Crew: We tried to tell them that the world could only stand
but just one of you…
Bella:
Queen: Avast! Where is this so-called stowaway?
Jill:
Pirate Crew: Here they are sir. Right here.
Max:
King: You? You want to be a Pirate just like me?
Caroline (M)
Stowaway: More than anything, your highness! More than anything!
Alina - Stowaway: It’s all we have ever wanted!
Max:
King: Ahoy! Ye got to be kidding me! Make them walk the plank!
Alina (H)
Stowaway: But sir! I swear I could be a smashing pirate, if only
you’d give me a chance!
20
Caroline:
Stowaway: If you could find it in your heart to let us be pirates we
would not let you down.
Max:
King: Oh really? Let me hear you say, “aye”!
Caroline & Alina:
Stowaway: Aay, ah, ai, sir!
Bella:
Queen: Let me hear you say, “blimey”.
Caroline and Alina
Stowaway: Blamey, bleemey, blihmey, sir.
King: Stow it Pirate! Now, let me hear you say,
“Arr!” Stowaway: Arr!
Bella & Max:
King & Queen: Not bad.
*Move thrones to side
21
Scene 5:
Stanley (D)
Pirate Crew: Hey, Pirates! We’ve got a new joke for you! [pause to
make sure he’s listening]
Carnell (D)
Pirate Crew : What does a Pirate say when his wooden leg gets stuck
in the freezer?
Stanley (D)
Pirate Crew : I don’t know… what?
Carnell (D)
Pirate Crew : Shiver me timbers!
Blaine (D)
Pirate Crew : Hey, have you heard the one about the Pirate
alphabet?
Christian (D)
Pirate Crew: Nope… haven’t heard that one…
Blaine (D)
Pirate Crew : What’s a pirate’s favorite letter?
Christian (D)
Pirate Crew : I don’t know… what?
Blaine (D)
Pirate Crew : RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!
22
Christian (D)
Pirate Crew : That’s not what I heard… I heard it were the C!
Isaac (D)
Pirate Crew : How much did the Pirate pay to get his ears pierced?
[pause and wait for audience] A buck-an-ear!
Sarah C. (H)
Stowaway: [walking around the stage, trying to be pirate-y, but
failing] Arrg! Arrg!
Ben S. (H)
King: No G, No G!
Cole S. (H)
Stowaway: Arrr! Arrr!
Ben S. (H)
King: More “AH”, less RRR!
Sarah C. & Cole S.
Stowaway: Ahhhrrr?
Ben S.
King:
Avast! I’ve heard enough! Mark them with a black spot
and throw them in the brig with the rest of the prisoners!
Sarah & Cole
Stowaway: But! But!
Pirates: To the brig
*Start Music #7 To the Brig, Close curtain, bring out prison scene, move thrones, lights
down
23
*Open curtain
Scene 6
Kaitlin (H)
Prisoner: My, my! What have we here?
Laura (H)
Prisoner: Blimey! Looks like a stowaway to me!
Lilly P. (H)
Prisoner: What are ye in for, mate?
Cole S.
Stowaway: Leave me alone!
Emma (H)
Prisoner: [mocking her] Leave me alone…
Aja (H)
Prisoner: Now look, there’s no need for that!
Lindsey (H)
Prisoner: Yeah! We all got thrown in this hole for some reason…
Kaitlin
Prisoner: [shrieking] The black spot!
Laura
Prisoners: [in hushed awe] Oh no… the black spot.
Sarah C.
Stowaway: What does it mean?
24
Lilly P.
Prisoner: It means you’re marked – marked for death.
Stowaways: No!
Prisoners: Yes!
Stowaways: No!
Prisoners: Yes!
Stowaways: No!
Prisoners: Yes!
Stowaways: No!
Prisoners: Yes!
Stowaways: No!
Prisoners: Yes!
Emma
Prisoner: The black spot means when the sun comes up and choir
rehearsal is over, there’s no doubt about it…
Lindsey
Prisoners: You walk the plank.
Cole S.
Stowaway: But how can this be? All I wanted was to be a pirate… a
Pirate Crew like them!
Aja
Prisoner: Ye should have stayed at home with your mother, mate.
Kaitlin
Prisoner: Ye ain’t no buckeneer!
25
Laura
Prisoner: Now your hours are numbered for sure!
Lilly P.
Prisoner: It won’t be long ‘til you’ll be lyin’ in Davy Jones Locker.
Sarah C.
Stowaway: Davy Jones’ Locker? Here I am at sea – where I’ve
always wanted to be. And yet, I’ve never felt so lost and
alone in my whole life.
26
 Open Curtain
Scene 7:
Ben S. (H)
King: Arr… back to rehearsal! Where is that Pirate Chorus.
Brandon
First Mate: I think they are down below warming up their voices.
Ben S.
King:
I hope they are working on their breath support! They have
to breathe from their scurvy diaphrams!
Brandon (D)
First Mate: Aye! And don’t forget the round tones! Arr! We can’t lose
this year - Not as long as we have the King of the High
C’s!!!
Ben S.
King: [singing an arpeggio, spraying his throat, etc.] Ahhhh…
Brandon:
First Mate: Beautiful!
Ben S.:
King: [like Elvis] Thank you! Thank you very much!
Brandon:
First mate: I’ll go round up that Pirate Chorus.
*Start music #10 Warmup Music
Close Curtain, Move Thrones
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Scene 8:
Ashley (CL)
Yellowbeard: If ya don’t mind me sayin’ so, Redbeard… I think you
were singing a little flat!
Maleeya (CL)
Redbeard: Arr! Who you callin’ flat, ye good for nothing scallywag?!?
Mason (CL)
Greenbeard: You were out of tune!
Valerie (CL)
Orangebeard: Your diction was deplorable!
Catie S. (CL)
Purplebeard: You sing too loud!
Ryder (CL)
Bluebeard: Your choreography was sloppy!
Cole M. (CL)
King: [walks on deck, singing arpeggios, oblivious to everyone else]
Ah, ah, ah, ah! Ahhh! [When he gets to the high note, his voice
makes a terrible sound]
Kate W. (CL)
Queen: Aye, King! Don’t be joking with us! Tomorrow is the big day!
Ele (CL)
Pinkbeard: You can’t be losing your voice now!
28
Ashley
Yellowbeard: You’re our ticket to first prize.
Cole M.
King: [holding his throat, barely able to make a sound] Laryngitis!
All: What?
Cole M.
King: [holding his throat, barely able to make a sound] Laryngitis!
All: What?
Kate W.
Queen:
He’s got laryngitis, ye, blaggards! How many times do I
have to tell you?
All: Blimey!
Mason
Greenbeard: What’re we gonna do?
Ryder
Bluebeard:
Ele
Pinkbeard:
Aye! What are we gonna do?
Arr! There goes first prize! Yo, ho, ho, there goes our
bottle of… All: Sasparilla!
Abby G. (M)
29
Stowaway: [singing] Lost at sea, lost at sea, tell me where I’m meant
to be…
Ryder
Bluebeard: What was that?
Levi S. (H)
Stowaway: [singing] Hear my plea, set me free, ‘cause I’m lost, I’m
lost at sea…
Nur (CL)
Whitebeard: Why, that’s the most beautiful voice I’ve ever heard.
Catie S.
Purplebeard: Aye! And it’s coming from the brig.
Maleeya
Redbeard: The brig? Find out who it is?
Valerie
Orangebeard: This might be the break we need! [all tiptoe towards
the brig]
Nur
Whitebeard: Aha and ahoy! It’s the stowaway.
Ashley
Yellowbeard: Tell me, stowaway, was it you that we heard singing so
melodiously?
Abby G.
Stowaway: Aye, sir! It was I! I guess I wasn’t very pirate-y, but I
meant no disrespect!
30
Maleeya
Redbeard: Disrespect? That’s the best singing we’ve ever heard on this
ship!
Cole M.
King: [stomps his feet and clears his throat]
Ashley
Yellowbeard: Aye, mate! Like Blackbeard said, that’s the best singing
we’ve ever heard on this ship!
King: [stomps his feet and clears his throat, crossing arms in disgust]
Nur
Whitebeard: Except the King of course.
Mason
Greenbeard: Aye! Now you must go with us to the Carribean Crooners
Contest! With your help we can win!
Levi S.
Stowaway: Do yourelly thing so? Do you really think I can help you
win?
Catie S.
Purplebeard: There’s only one way to find out! Gentlemen… Ladies…
All pirates: [singing] Do, re, mi, fa, so, la, ti…
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Abby G. & Levi S.
Stowaway: [singing] Do
All: Perfect!
Cole M.
King: [croaking] Perfect!
Abby G.
Stowaway: Wow! Does that mean we get to be a full-blown pirates,
just like you?
Valerie
Orangebeard: Well now, I don’t know about that.
Levi s.
Stowaway: No pirate, no sing!
Pinkbeard: Pirates! Pirate friends… join me in a huddle. [all pirates
join in a huddle, gesturing and talking.] One! Two! Three!
Break!
Maleeya
Redbeard: After much discussion, we have decided to ask you a few
pertinent questions.
Abby
Stowaway: Ask away!
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Ele
Pinkbeard: Do ye promise to never be lily-livered or ever say “wow”
again?
Levi
Stowaway: Wow! I mean, aye, we sure do!
Catie
Purplebeard: Do you swear that you’ll honor the Pirate flag?
Abby
Stowaway: Aye, aye, captain!
Mason
Greenbeard: Do you swear to be the heartiest, swashbuckling-est
buccaneer ever to sail the seven seas?
Abby
Stowaway: ‘Til me dying days!
Cole M.
King: Then by the powers vested in me, I proudly pronounce you a
full-on, blow-me-down, shiver-me-timbers …
Kate:
Queen: Oh brother! You are know officially Pirates of the seven
seas!
Abby: Hip, hip
All: Hooray!
Levi: Hip, hip
All: Hooray!
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Cole & Kate: Hip, hip
All: Hooray!
*Start Music #12 Pirates All Are We
34