Jack and the Beanstalk as told by Jack (voice: hillbilly)
Once upon a time me and my ma were rightly poor. One day I woke up hungry,
hankerin’ for some corn pone and grits. Ma must have been hungry too ‘cause she
commenced to yellin’ at me, “Jack, run to town and sell our cow for some vittles! Herry up
now!”
I always obey my mama so I scurried on down to the Farmer’s Market when a city
slicker skittered up to me and hollered, “Hey, young fellar! I hear you wanna sell your cow. I
will give you these magical bean fer it.”
“Shazam! Magical beans!” I bellowed. “I surely would like to have those beans!” So I
gave up ‘ol Bessie for five magical beans!
I skedaddled on home. “Ma! Looky here! Looky here! I sold Bessie for some magical
beans!”
“Jack, you rascal you!” screeched Ma while hitting me on the head with her sack of
flour. What are you doing sellin’ our cow for some stupid beans?! Go to bed without any
grits!” and she chucked those beans right out of the yonder window there.
I went to bed sulking. But when I woke up, what did I see but a giganticus bean stalk
busting right up into the sky.
I thunk to myself, “I am going to climb up there!” And guess what? What I found
changed ma’s and my life forever!