Overview of Adding Details
1. Show, don’t Tell
2. Use Sensory Description
3. Move from general to
specific
4. Use Similes, Metaphors, and
Personification
Showing vs. Telling
Telling: Telling language uses
little to no descriptive details.
It’s boring. Blah, blah!
Showing: Like watching a scene.
Showing language recreates
the experience for the reader.
Example: Showing vs. Telling
Telling:
“I milked cows as a kid.”
Showing:
“Flossy, our Holstein, with her taut muscles and
sagging udder, tolerated my feeble attempts
as a child to extract her milk.”
Example: Showing vs. Telling
Telling:
My daughter is
so smart!
Showing:
“Mama, since pterodactyl
starts with a p and not a t,
I’m going to name my
pterodactyl ptommy!” said
my 4-year-old daughter,
Mia, swishing her
strawberry-blonde hair
and flashing me her
impish smile.
Sensory Description
Sight
Sound
Taste
Smell
Touch
General to Specific: Nouns
Nouns are people, places, things, and ideas.
Make them specific!
Car  yellow 1976 Stingray
Shoe  Jimmy Choo red patent pumps
Building  Columbia Tower
Fish  Rainbow Trout
Newspaper  New York Times
Tree  Big Leaf Maple
General to Specific: Verbs
Verbs are actions. So make them active and
specific!
Run  Gallop, Lope, or Sprint
Laugh  Chortle, Giggle, or Snort
Jump  Flail, Hop, or Launch
Drink  Chug, Sip, or Gulp
Look  Glare, Glance, or Stare
General to Specific: Adjectives
Adjectives modify (tell us more about) nouns.
Make them as descriptive as possible.
Beautiful  elegant, sophisticated, graceful
Red  crimson, burgundy, brick, scarlet
Nice  attractive, kind, gentle
Loud  cacophonous, piercing, roaring
Slow  unhurried, sluggish, methodical
General to Specific: Adverbs
Adverbs modify verbs. They tell us how the
action of the verb was executed. Adverbs
usually end in –ly. Try adding them!
• Melissa lectures enthusiastically.
• Timidly, the cat crept around the corner.
• Martha bitterly cleaned up her children’s
mess.
Adverbs can move around sentences!
Similes
Similes add
description by
using the
words like or
as:
• My father skittered around
the kitchen like a mouse as
my mother barked orders.
• Like caramel, the setting sun
dripped into the sea.
• As a gnat, Suzie bombarded
me with questions.
Metaphors
Metaphors describe
by claiming one thing
is another, so one
thing is associated
with the qualities of
the other:
• My brother is a
barracuda in the
courtroom.
• The teacher was a
hammer, relentless if
making a point.
• The trees were gnomes
playing in the windy
forest.
Personification
Personification is making something
that’s not a person seem to have
human-like qualities:
• With their eyes bright, the
skyscrapers looked out over the
darkened city.
• The kind and inviting rock beckoned
me to sit and rest.
Balancing Details
1. Balance highly descriptive
sentences by putting them
near less descriptive ones.
2. Avoid bombarding with
too much description.
3. Make all of your details
contribute to a
dominant impression.