Answer the following question using key vocabulary words
and phrases. Remember to read both before and after the
passage to get a complete overview of the information.
Don’t paraphrase the entire passage, just any key parts.
Use all of your knowledge about this topic.
Why did Linda get upset over how Josh handled his
friend’s visit? How did this indicate a conflict between
independence and intimacy? (p. 26 & 27)
Josh and Linda were at odds because of their different ideas
about independence and connection. Josh felt that he had a
right to make his own decisions regarding his friend; after all,
he’s an independent man capable of deciding for himself. In his
view, checking in with his wife first feels like asking permission,
which he sees as a parent-child relationship.
Linda, however, feels that they are connected in such a way
that checking in with each other about such things is a positive
sign of closeness and intimacy. When Josh acted without her
input, she felt ignored and disconnected from him. This is a
case of status and hierarchy (asymmetry) colliding with
intimacy and connection (symmetry) in communication.