Dealing with Controversial
Issues and People
• Tim Campbell, County Agent for
Community and Economic Development
• University of Kentucky Cooperative
Extension Service
Two Major Principles
• Conflict is normal.
• Conflict is (always) an opportunity.
Meditation Methods
• Focus on a sound or object
• Relaxation
• Focus on breathing
Types of Conflict
• Intra-personal
• Interpersonal
• Public
• Strategic
Mediation Process
Step 1: Issues exploration
Step 2: Issues refinement
Step 3: Options exploration
Step 4: Options refinement
Step 5: Signed agreement
Top 10 Reasons to Acquire
Better Negotiation Skill
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Improve personal and professional profitability.
Achieve desired outcomes and create synergy while
fostering relationships.
Maximize financial returns and value in negotiations.
Avoid being cheated.
Neutralize difficult negotiators and their tactics.
Enter into and conduct negotiations with confidence.
Know when and how to walk away from a negotiation.
Improve personal relationships with colleagues, clients
and loved ones.
Build leadership and team building skills.
Turn cultural differences into assets rather than
liabilities.
Basics tenets of principled
negotiation
• Participants are problem-solvers
• Separate the people from the problem
• Focus on interests, not positions
• Invent options for mutual gain
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The Conflict Grid
9
ACCOMMODATION
Concern for satisfying other parties
8
PROBLEM-SOLVING
Disagreements are
smoothed over so that
harmony is maintained one party gives into
another.
7
(Collaboration)
A process used to assess
several points of view
and alternatives.
Solutions involve
meeting the minimum.
6
COMPROMISE
Compromise, bargaining,
& middle-ground
positions are accepted.
“Divide the pie,” win-win
is not possible. Win lose
would cause negative
repercussions.
5
4
AVOIDANCE DENIAL
COMPETITION
Neutrality is maintained
at all costs. Withdrawal
from the situation relieves
the necessity for dealing
with conflict.
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2
Win-lose power struggles
are fought out, decided by
the powerful, or through
arbitration
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0
1
2
3
4
5
6
Concern for results/production
7
8
9
Discussion Guidelines
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Only one person talks at a time.
Stick to the subject.
Be brief.
Be an active listener.
Everyone participates, no one dominates.
Honor time limits.
It’s okay to disagree.
Attack the problem, not a person.
Fight or Flight Response
• “our body's primitive, automatic, inborn
response that prepares the body to "fight"
or "flee" from perceived attack, harm or
threat to our survival.”
• ----- Neil Neimark, M.D.
Breakthrough Negotiation
• Go to the Balcony
• Step to Their Side
• Reframe
• Build Them a Golden Bridge
• Use Power to Educate
Reframing
• How can we accomplish or do
“X” while at the same time
accomplishing or doing “Y”?
Costs of Interpersonal Conflict
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Poor morale
Reduced productivity
Unacceptable levels of stress
Sleeplessness
Long-term health problems
Violence
Higher healthcare costs
Benefits of Being a Win-Win
Negotiator
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10-to-50 percent gains in productivity
High morale
Less stress
Fewer health problems
Civility
• “Crude, Rude and Obnoxious Behavior
Has Replaced Good Manners.”
• U.S. News and World Report (1996)
Trust
• “Proceed independent of trust.”
Uncle Jimmy Rule
• What should you say?
Uncle Jimmy Rule
• “I don’t know Uncle Jimmy, what do you
think?”
Power and Conflict
• “Most conflicts directly or indirectly
concern power, either as leverage for
achieving one’s goals, as a means of
seeking or maintaining the balance or
imbalance of power in a relationship, or as
a symbolic expression of one’s identity.”
Global Opportunity?
• U.S. spent $13.1 trillion on Cold War
• What would happen if win-win became the
default mode of the world?
• Is this possible?
• Are we willing to live our lives for the
“seventh generation”?
Resources
• This paper and other resources on conflict
management and negotiation are at
<http://ces.ca.uky.edu/pike/news/agreeme
nt_training.htm>