Assertiveness in
Working with DeafBlind People
From Guidelines pages 175-185
Being Nice
 Being nice is disrespectful when it is a rescue.
 Don’t be a silent martyr
 Be respectful when expressing your needs
 You cannot wait until you take care of the other
person’s needs to attend your own.
 This will lead to “burn out”
 It is better if the needs of both the Deaf-Blind
person and yourself are considered so both
should share your own needs and come up with
a mutual plan that is beneficial to you both.
A Tendency
 Some of us are raised with the
dysfunctional rule to do:
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Everything we are asked,
Immediately,
Alone without help, and
Perfectly
 Get rid of this training immediately (but
not alone and not perfectly). We all have
to re-evaluate these ideas.
Feelings and Negotiation
 If you feel angry, this is a signal that you are or have been
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doing too much.
Emotions signal us to pay attention to our bodies. Be
honest with yourself.
Nice is good, rescuing other people is not.
“Nice” people burn out for sure or get sick of trying too
hard.
It is a real challenge to find a balance and therefore, it is
both an opportunity to learn about yourself, and to
practice more assertiveness.
Negotiation should be a win-win process.
Feelings can be contagious. We may get confused about
who has the needs, who owns the problems.
Recognize your Needs
 When you feel angry, nervous, anxious, check
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to see where the feeling is coming from. Is the
feeling yours?
Figure out where the pressure is coming from
Identify who owns the needs and problems
Recognize the distinction between the DeafBlind person’s grief over her blindness and the
grief you have in your life that needs attention.
Be sure your help is wanted
Understand your own problems
Do not just give. You should also take.
Assertiveness, Time and
Planning
 Figure how much time you are willing to spend,
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and be clear to the DB person about that.
To anticipate how long something might take,
make an estimate and double it.
Try to predict what will happen
It is not reasonable to expect one interpreter to
work for two straight hours with a single DeafBlind client
Get support from colleagues
Recruit others
 Figure out your pattern
 Look for a match between what needs to be
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done and what satisfies you
Pace yourself
Honor the process of becoming skilled
Set reasonable expectations for yourself.
Challenge your perfectionism
If you are taking jobs interpreting for Deaf-Blind
people, you will undoubtedly at some point be
asked to provide a ride
Decide the type of relationship you feel
comfortable with
Thinking takes time.
Communication
 Once you have decided how much time you are
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willing to comfortably spend, let the Deaf-Blind
person know
Let the Deaf-Blind person know which kind of
activities you like the most
Be clear with the Deaf-Blind person about what
your interest is in the relationship
If you are not sure about something important,
be clear that you are not sure
If you are not working alone, clarify roles
Being Assertive with
Hearing People
 “Deaf-Blind” is slow. Get over it.
 Be direct
 Be specific
 Be persistent
 While volunteering is wonderful,
interpreters for agencies should be paid.
Negotiation and
Follow Through
 Once you are clear about what you want,
listen to the other person
 Negotiating takes time
 Ten minute warnings can be helpful
 Pay attention to your manner
 Having set limits and communicated
them clearly, follow through
 Let them be themselves
 If they’re obnoxious, leave.
Confronting Yourself
 What are your issues? What themes are there
in your life, things that make you upset or
repeatedly cause you problems? Being
assertive means confronting yourself honestly
(and kindly) about these things.
 Sometimes we wallow in guilt or bad feelings.
These are ways of avoiding change.
 Sometimes we have an inflated sense of our
own abilities and importance. This allows us to
focus on the faults of others.
 Continually needing to talk about something
such as your involvement with the Deaf-Blind,
try to figure out what this is about.
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It may be excitement at all the things you are
learning.
It may be a sense of inadequacy because you’re
repeatedly accepting assignments beyond your
level of skill.
Is it insecurity?
A need for permission from others to have your
own needs met?
Are you perhaps rescuing and needing applause
for your heroism?
 Rescuing (doing for the other person what is
really theirs to do) and perfectionism are
common issues.
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If that is your inclination, lighten up.
Get a sense of perspective
 Accept confrontations from other people.
Separate out:
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Who said it (you may not like them)
From how they said it (they might have been kind
of nasty),
From what they said, and
Why they said it (they might have had their own
patterns running at the time).
 Focus on what they said:
 Is it something you should be working on?
 Is it a priority?
 It may be true but not a big deal
 Don’t just determine to improve but think how you
will work on this issue
 Reflect on your progress
 Enlist the aid of an ally, it is good to have someone
whom you trust to discuss these things honestly.
 Review your boundaries
 Being assertive means being honest with
yourself and others
 It means communicating in ways that are
specific, clear, and consistent
 It means following through while being
reasonable, flexible and understanding
of the other person’s point of view.
 It means listening to your feelings and
those of others.
 It means having time to think, to plan,
reflect, and re-evaluate. Being assertive
is both a way of communicating with
others and a process of learning.