7OMYNS !GENDA FOR #HANGE 0HNOM 0ENH #AMBODIA
-ODERN -ISSIONARIES IN #AMBODIA
7HEN $OES !CTIVISM "ECOME
THE .EW )MPERIALISM
*OSHUA 2USSELL /
)F THE WESTERN WORLD WAS LESS OBSESSED WITH PROPERTY
AND THE NEED TO KEEP IT SAFE WITH THREATS OF WAR
THEN THE THIRD WORLD WOULDNgT NEED A WAR ECONOMY
THAT WEgRE SUPPLYING AT A COST THEY CANgT AFFORD
3O WE BUY UP ALL THEIR CROPS AND GRAIN
AND SELL IT BACK AGAIN
WHEN THERE AINgT NO RAIN
AND HAVE A BIG CAMPAIGN
USING FAMOUS NAMES
AND AS THAT PENNY DROPS
INTO THE /XFAM BOX
TAKE OFF THE 6!4
4HEN CALL IT CHARITY
4HEY CALL IT CHARITY
#ITIZEN &ISH
/N ONE OF MY LAST NIGHTS IN #AMBODIA ) LISTENED TO #ES PLAY
MY FAVORITE SONG ON HER GUITAR )T WAS AN OLD )TALIAN ANTIFASCIST
ANTHEM CALLED "ELLA #IAO ) HAVE NEVER HEARD AN %NGLISH VERSION
TRUE TO THE ORIGINAL LYRICS BUT THE WORDS ROUGHLY TRANSLATE TO
4HIS MORNING ) AWAKENED 'OODBYE BEAUTIFUL 4HIS MORNING )
AWAKENED !ND ) FOUND THE INVADER!ND IF ) DIE AS A PARTISAN 4HEN YOU MUST BURY ME "URY ME UP IN THE MOUNTAIN 5NDER THE
SHADE OF A BEAUTIFUL mOWER !ND ALL THOSE WHO SHALL PASS 7ILL TELL
YOU WHAT A BEAUTIFUL mOWER IT IS !ND THIS mOWER OF THE PARTISAN
)S THE mOWER OF LIBERTY (ER VERSION WAS THE MOST BEAUTIFUL )
HAD EVER HEARD #ES SUNG IN 4AGALOG 3HE USED TO PLAY IT WHEN
SHE WAS A PROTEST SINGER lGHTING THE !MERICAN OCCUPATION AND
-ARCOS DICTATORSHIP ) MET #ES BECAUSE SHE WAS IN CAHOOTS WITH
THE NOTORIOUS 2OSANNA "ARBAREO DIRECTOR OF 7OMYNS !GENDA
FOR #HANGE ONE OF THE NONGOVERNMENTAL ORGANIZATIONS .'/S
WHERE ) HAD WORKED THAT SUMMER 2OSANNA 2O HAD BEEN THERE
EARLIER THAT EVENING FOR DINNER 7E MOSTLY TALKED ABOUT SOCIAL
JUSTICE AND SEX
4HE !RT OF #OEXISTENCE%THICS AND #OEXISTENCE 3TUDENT &ELLOWS
#ES AND 2O ARE MORE THAN DYNAMIC LEADERS 4HEY EACH
POSSESS A MAGNETISM THAT DRAWS PEOPLE )VE NEVER SEEN ANYTHING
QUITE LIKE IT 4HEIR VERY PRESENCE CREATES SOCIAL SPACE THAT IS
UNIQUE IN THAT THEY ACT AS A GROUNDING FORCE FOR THOSE AROUND
THEM 4HEIR INmUENCE ON OTHERS IS ORGANIC NOT DOMINEERING
IT JUST HAPPENS 4O THAT END ) CONTINUED TO LIVE IN SUCH SPACE
EVEN AS ) WAS GEOGRAPHICALLY IN DIFFERENT PARTS OF 0HNOM
0ENH 4HE COMMUNITY THEY CREATED WHETHER PHYSICAL OR NOT
MAINTAINED AN ACTIVE PRESENCE IN MY CONSCIOUSNESS
) WORKED FOR TWO DIFFERENT .'/S ) ATTENDED A MASSAGE
SCHOOL DAILY ) SPENT TIME IN ANCIENT TEMPLES AND GYMS IN
MUSEUMS AND MARKETPLACES )N THAT SENSE MY TIME THERE MIGHT
SEEM FRACTURED )T WASNT THOUGH !S ) STRUGGLED TO FRAME THESE
EXPERIENCES ) CAME TO REALIZE THAT MANY OF MY STORIES CAME
DIRECTLY FROM THE PHYSICAL AND SOCIAL SPACE AROUND 2OSANNA
"ARBAREO AND #ES -ILLADO 4HEIR ORGANIZATIONS HOMES
EXTRACURRICULAR ACTIVITIES AND THE SPACE AROUND THEM ALL SEEMED
TO mOW TOGETHER IN A VIBRANTˆAS SOCIOLOGISTS SAYˆGEMEINSCHAFT
) BEGAN TO UNDERSTAND THIS AS A KIND OF COMMUNITY !ND DURING
MY BRIEF TIME THERE IT WAS MY COMMUNITY
) HAD COME TO #AMBODIA WITH A HOST OF IDEAS ABOUT
PRIVILEGE POWER WEALTH DOMINATION AND EXPLOITATION 4HESE
IDEAS SIMULTANEOUSLY HELD EXCITEMENT AND INSPIRATION WITH SELF
CONSCIOUSNESS AND AMBIVALENCE ABOUT MY ROLE IN #AMBODIA )
WAS WILDLY SKEPTICAL OF ACTIVISTS FROM RICH COUNTRIES TRAVELING
AROUND THE WORLD AND MESSING WITH PEOPLES COMMUNITIES
IN THE NAME OF WHAT THEY THOUGHT WAS hRIGHTv ) CONSTANTLY
STRUGGLED WITH QUESTIONS OF IDENTITY INTENT AND PURPOSE )
SUPPOSE PART OF ME FELT LIKE IT WASNT MY PLACE AS SOME IGNORANT
WHITE KID TO BE ENGAGING IN RADICAL ACTIVISM IN A COUNTRY )
KNEW LITTLE ABOUT "UT WITH THE HELP OF #ES AND 2OSANNA ) WAS
DOING IT ANYWAY
/NE DISASTER
h7HAT WAS THATv h) DONT KNOW IT SOUNDED LIKE A MACHINE
GUNv h.O WAY A GUN IS MUCH LOUDER THAN THATv h(MM )T WAS
PROBABLY A MOTORBIKE ENGINE OR SOMETHING ) GUESSv
4HEN THE NOISE HAPPENED AGAIN A BIT LOUDER
,EAH AND ) HAD BEEN SITTING ALONE OUTSIDE A RESTAURANT EATING
0AD 4HAI ! LARGE WOMAN BURST OUT OF THE RESTAURANT DOOR EYES
DARTING FRANTICALLY 3HORTLY AFTER HER SON FOLLOWED SUIT (IS
TONED MUSCLES WERE TENSE HIS EYEBROWS SLANTED !LERT (E LOOKED
SIMILAR TO THE STATUES OF CHISELED hSTRONG MENv IN COMMUNIST
ARTWORK LIKE THE ONE IN THE CENTER OF 0HNOM 0ENH (ER TWO
DAUGHTERS STEPPED OUTSIDE AND STOOD CAUTIOUSLY NEXT TO THEIR
MOTHER WHO KEPT mEXING HER HANDS BACK AND FORTH ) IMAGINED
HER THROWING OUR TABLE AT SOMEONE
'UN SHOTS RANG OUT AGAIN PROGRESSIVELY GETTING LOUDER
CLOSER 4HE FAMILY GRABBED US AND WE ALL RAN INSIDE THEIR
RESTAURANT ,EAH AND ) HUDDLED BEHIND THE COUNTER WITH THE
MOTHER AND DAUGHTERS WHILE THE YEAROLD SON SLAMMED METAL
GATES DOWN AROUND EVERY OPENING 3HOTS REACHED OUR STREET
4HE ONLY THING SEPARATING THEM FROM US WAS A CONCRETE WALL
4HE MOTHER AND ) EMBRACED 4IGHTLY ) COULD FEEL HER HEARTBEAT
POUNDING THROUGH HER PALM ONTO MINE (ER LIPS ARCHED UPWARD
IN A FORCED NERVOUS SMILEˆTHE KIND THAT IS APPREHENSIVE BUT
NOT TOO TENSE TO BLOCK THE WORDS h)TS OKAY DONT WORRY ABOUT
ITxITS OKAYv FROM SLIPPING OUT
4HAI+HMER RELATIONS ARE TENSE IN #AMBODIA TO SAY THE
LEAST 2ACIALLYMOTIVATED VIOLENCE IS NOT UNCOMMON ! FEW
MONTHS PRIOR A FEW HUNDRED TEENAGE #AMBODIAN BOYS RIOTED AND
BURNED THE 4HAI EMBASSY TO THE GROUND OVER AN UNSUBSTANTIATED
RUMOR IN A NEWSPAPER 4HEY THEN PROCEEDED TO SPREAD
THROUGHOUT 0HNOM 0ENH DESTROYING EVERY 4HAIOWNED BUSINESS
IN SIGHT %VERYONE KNOWS WHICH BUSINESSES IN 0HNOM 0ENH ARE
4HAIOWNED
7E WERE HUDDLED BEHIND THE COUNTER OF A 4HAIOWNED
RESTAURANT LISTENING TO GUN SHOTS OUTSIDE THE DOOR
4HE MOTHER TRIED TO REASSURE US h/UR FAMILY LOOKS +HMER
SO MOST PEOPLE DONT KNOW WERE 4HAIx4HERE HAVE BEEN OTHER
SHOOTINGS HERE RECENTLY BUT WE HAVENT HAD PROBLEMSx) WASNT AT
THE RESTAURANT DURING THOSE THOUGHxv (ER BODY WEIGHED OVER
ME ALMOST AS IF SHE WERE TRYING TO SHIELD ME FROM STRAY BULLETS
(ER LARGE HANDS CLASPED MINE h)TS OKAY 4HIS IS NO PROBLEM
REALLYv (ER VOICE WAVERED TO THE POINT OF INAUDIBILITY
7HATEVER WAS HAPPENING WAS HAPPENING RIGHT OUTSIDE
%VERY TIME WE HEARD A SHOT WE DUCKED LOWER HUGGED TIGHTER
/UR GRIPS SLOWLY LOOSENED DURING THE SUBSEQUENT TEN MINUTES
OF SILENCE )T SEEMED OVER 7E STOOD UP AND UNEASILY SMILED
AT EACH OTHER (UGE TRUCKS CRAMMED WITH GRIMACING POLICE
TRUDGED PAST OUR WINDOW 4WENTY MORE MINUTES PASSED ,EAH
AND ) DECIDED THAT IT PROBABLY WASNT GOING TO GET ANY SAFER WE
MIGHT AS WELL LEAVE 4HE MOTHER INSISTED ON CALLING A MOTORBIKE
FOR US SO WE WOULDNT HAVE TO WALK HOME ) HUGGED HER SHOOK
THE HAND OF THE STRONGMAN SON AND THEN HOPPED ON THE MOTO
BEHIND ,EAH
4WO BLOCKS DOWN WERE SEVERAL HUNDRED PEOPLE STANDING
NEXT TO THEIR MOTORBIKES 4HEY WERE SHAPED IN A HORSESHOE
LIKE AN AMPHITHEATER OR SOMETHING #ENTER STAGE LAID A MAN
BLOODIED ON THE GROUND ) THOUGHT HE WAS DEAD BUT ,EAH SWORE
SHE SAW HIS ARM TWITCH 0OLICE WERE
JUST STANDING OVER HIM STARING
%VERYONE WAS STARING 4HEY DIDNT
) SUPPOSE PART OF
SEEM SHOCKED OR HORRIlED LIKE
ME FELT LIKE IT WASNT
BYSTANDERS WOULD BE IN THE 3TATES
4HEY JUST WERE )T HAD BEEN OVER MY PLACE AS SOME
MINUTES SINCE WE HAD HEARD THE LAST
SHOT BUT NOBODY HAD EVEN TRIED
IGNORANT WHITE KID TO
TO TAKE HIM TO A HOSPITAL YET /UR
DRIVER MANEUVERED THROUGH THE
BE ENGAGING IN RADICAL
FRACTURED DIRT ROADS CLOGGED WITH
PEOPLE 7HEN WE lNALLY MADE IT
ACTIVISM IN A COUNTRY
BACK TO OUR APARTMENT ,EAH AND )
STAYED UP AND TALKED ON THE PORCH
) KNEW LITTLE ABOUT
ALL NIGHT
$AN CAME HOME AND
SHOWERED (E WAS THE OTHER INTERN
FROM "RANDEIS ,EAH HAD JUST GRADUATED FROM .95 4HE WATER
STOPPED WORKING WHILE HE WAS ALL SOAPY SO AS ) UNSUCCESSFULLY
TRIED TO GET THE WATER TO WORK ) MENTIONED THE SHOOTING TO HIM
(E HAD HAD NO IDEA THAT IT HAPPENED !FTER DRYING OFF HE CAME
ON TO THE PORCH AND ASKED US TO TELL HIM THE STORY (IS EYES LIT UP
AND HE LISTENED IN FASCINATION HIS FACE ALMOST SEEMED JEALOUS AS
IF HE WISHED HE COULD HAVE BEEN THERE TO HAVE A STORY TO TELL HIS
FRIENDS OR SOMETHING !S IF SUCH A STORY WOULD DEMONSTRATE THE
DANGER OF THE PLACE THAT HE WAS LIVING IN AND VALIDATE THE WORK
HE WAS DOING THERE AS A RESULT !S ILLEGITIMATE A REACTION AS THAT
SEEMS ) CANT SAY ) WOULDNT HAVE FELT THE SAME WAY )N RETROSPECT
MAYBE ) DID WHEN HE TOLD THE STORY OF SEEING A GIRL DRAGGED AND
THROWN FROM A TRUCK -OST !MERICANS SEEM TO EXOTICIZE VIOLENCE
AND DISASTER
)NTERNATIONAL #ENTER FOR %THICS *USTICE AND 0UBLIC ,IFE -AYBE THATS WHY THEY EXOTICIZE #AMBODIA
4HE SHOOTING THAT ) EXPERIENCED DIDNT GIVE ME ANY
EPIPHANIES OR REVELATIONS %XCEPT FOR A FEW MINUTES IT WASNT
EVEN THAT SCARY IT WAS MORE SURREAL THAN ANYTHING ELSE ) WAS
COMFORTED IN MY PRIVILEGEˆIF SOMEONE DID COME TO THAT
RESTAURANT TO ENGAGE IN RACIAL VIOLENCE ) WOULD BE SPARED )M
WHITE 7HEN THOSE KIDS BURNED DOWN THE 4HAI EMBASSY THEY
WERE READY TO KILL A MAN WHO WAS INSIDE 4HEY QUICKLY DISCOVERED
THAT HE WAS *APANESE NOT 4HAI 5PON THIS REALIZATION THEY
APOLOGIZED BOWED AND ESCORTED HIM TO SAFETY 4HEN THEY RAN
BACK INSIDE TO SEE IF THERE WERE ANY 4HAI PEOPLE LEFT TO BEAT UP
) WASNT IN MUCH ACTUAL DANGER 4HE MOTHER IN THAT RESTAURANT
DESPITE BEING IN FAR MORE DANGER THAN ME FELT IT WAS HER
RESPONSIBILITY TO COMFORT ME AND BE THE STRONG ONE
4HAT FAMILY DIDNT NEED TO PULL ,EAH AND ME INSIDE AT ALL
4HEY COULD HAVE SHUT THEIR DOORS AND TAKEN COVER "UT THEY
DIDNT
$URING THE COURSE OF DISASTERS WE REREALIZE OUR HUMANITY
AND COMMONALITY WITH OTHERS $ISASTERS ARE ESSENTIALLY DElNED
BY THEIR BREAK WITH @BUSINESS AS USUAL .ORMALITY CEASES TO EXIST
$URING THIS DISASTER A WOMAN AND ) EMBRACED 7HO SHE WAS
WAS UNIMPORTANT WE WERE BOTH HUMAN LOOKING FOR COMFORT IN
THAT FACT ) COULD HAVE BEEN ANYONE AND SO COULD SHE 0EOPLE
SEE THEMSELVES IN EACH OTHER DURING THE COURSE OF A DISASTER
7HAT IF ) WERE A +HMER BOY WHO HATED 4HAI PEOPLE 7OULD
THAT EMBRACE HAVE RADICALLY CHANGED MY ORIENTATION TO RACE /R
WOULD EVERYTHING HAVE RETURNED TO hNORMALv AFTERWARDS $OES
THIS EMOTIONAL COMMONALITY THAT WE lND IN TIMES OF CRISIS HAVE
A RECONCILIATORY POTENTIAL 5SUALLY THE OPPOSITE HAPPENS %ITHER
WAY A DISASTERˆWHEN LIFE AND DEATH ARE SUDDENLY UP IN THE AIR
ˆRENDERS REALITY NEGOTIABLE
4HERE ARE TIMES WHEN THIS HAPPENS ON A SOCIETAL SCALE AS
WELL $URING MOMENTS OF REVOLUTION THINGS HAPPEN THAT DEFY THE
LOGIC OF THE OLD SOCIAL ORDER )T CAN BE INSPIRING )N #AMBODIA IT
WAS BARBARIC 7HEN THE +HMER 2OUGE SEIZED POWER IN 0OL
0OTS DREAM OF INSTANTLY TRANSFORMING #AMBODIA INTO AN AGRARIAN
-AOIST SOCIETY DElED SUCH LOGIC -ORE THAN TWO MILLION PEOPLE
WERE MURDERED IN THE SPAN OF THREE YEARS )N NO OTHER EVENT
IN WORLD HISTORY HAVE SO MANY BEEN MURDERED IN SUCH A SHORT
AMOUNT OF TIMExAND MOST OF THE WORLD TURNED A BLIND EYE
)N 0OL 0OTS #AMBODIA EVERYONE WAS SEEN AS A POTENTIAL ENEMY
#HILDREN WOULD TURN IN THEIR PARENTS FOR A BAG OF RICE 4HERE WAS
A COMPLETE BREAKDOWN OF TRUST
4HAT DISASTER HAS YET TO END 4HOUGH THE 6IETNAMESE
#OMMUNISTS DROVE OUT THE +HMER 2OUGE IN THE PAST IS
ALIVE IN #AMBODIA 0HNOM 0ENH IS AN INSTITUTIONALIZED DISASTER
4HEIR BREAK WITH REALITY BECAME NORMAL !MIDST RAMPANT
POLITICAL CORRUPTION AND A CRUMBLING CIVIL SOCIETY DAY TO DAY
SURVIVAL IS NOW THE ONLY REALITY 4HE ONLY PRIORITY IS PUTTING
FOOD ON THE TABLE MOST #AMBODIANS DO NOT HAVE THE LUXURY OF
THINKING BEYOND THAT )NDEED THERE IS LITTLE CONCEPT OF A hFUTUREv
IN #AMBODIAN CONSCIOUSNESS (EARTLESSNESS AND DECEIT ARE STILL
SOME OF THE ONLY SALIENT SURVIVAL TRAITS hTRUSTv IS STILL A FOREIGN
CONCEPT IN 0HNOM 0ENH 4HE RUTHLESSNESS OF MANY #AMBODIANS
4HE !RT OF #OEXISTENCE%THICS AND #OEXISTENCE 3TUDENT &ELLOWS
IS MATCHED ONLY BY THEIR POLITICAL SUBORDINATION 4HOSE WHO HAVE
LIVED THROUGH THE +HMER 2OUGE WANT STABILITY AT ALL COSTS 4HEY
ARE WILLING TO ACCEPT hPEACEv AT THE EXPENSE OF JUSTICE 4HEY HAVE
BEEN CONDITIONED NOT TO CAUSE POLITICAL TROUBLE AND THEY DONT
)N CONTRAST YOUNG #AMBODIANS RIOT AND BURN DOWN BUILDINGS AS
AN EXPRESSION OF THEIR FRUSTRATION WITH THEIR LIFE SITUATION )TS NOT
QUITE NIHILISM ITS LIFE IN PERMANENT SURVIVAL MODE
4WO ALWAYS A DANCE PARTY
h)F ) CANNOT DANCE ) WANT NO PART IN YOUR REVOLUTIONv
n %MMA 'OLDMAN
0HNOM 0ENH IS A PLACE WHERE "UDDHIST MONKS GANG RAPE WOMEN
3AFFRON ROBES LEFT IN THE PAGODAS THEY DRESS IN STREET CLOTHES TO
SEEM INCONSPICUOUS "UT EVERYBODY KNOWS 4HEIR BALD HEADS
MIGHT TIP YOU OFF BUT THEIR SHAVED EYEBROWS ARE A DEAD GIVEAWAY
-OST YOUNG #AMBODIAN MEN lND THIS TO BE A MORALLY JUSTIlABLE
ACT SOME EVEN BELIEVE THEY ARE DOING THESE WOMEN A FAVOR h)TS
THEIR JOBv THEY SAY 4HE GANG RAPE OF SEX WORKERS OR BAUK AS IT
IS CALLED IN +HMER IS REGARDED AS A BONDING EXPERIENCE AMONG
FRIENDS
!MIDST THE CRIES OF PROSTITUTES BEING BEATEN BY POLICE
BATONS FOR BEING UNABLE TO AFFORD THE PROPER BRIBE mOATS A FOOT HOUSEBOAT ON THE 4ON ,E 3AP 2IVER 4HE RIVER HEAVES AND
GROWS DURING THE RAINY SEASON TO THE POINT WHERE THE WATER
WEIGHS DOWN SO HEAVY ON THE SYSTEM THAT THE RIVER ACTUALLY mOWS
BACKWARDS FOR A FEW MONTHS
)T IS THE ONLY IN THE RIVER IN THE WORLD THAT COMPLETELY
REVERSES ITS CURRENT
4HE BOAT USED TO BE HOME TO A DANCE CLUB 3HE HAS SINCE
HAD A REVOLUTION AND IS NOW INHABITED BY ROUGHLY ACTIVISTS
WHO COLLECTIVELY COMPRISE 7OMYNS !GENDA FOR #HANGE 7!#
)T MIGHT NO LONGER BE A CLUB BUT THE DANCING HASNT STOPPED 4HE
WEEK BEFORE MY ARRIVAL THEY HAD HAD A DANCE PARTY WITH UPWARDS
OF TRANSGENDERED +HMERS IN ATTENDANCE !PPARENTLY IT WAS
PRETTY CRAZY
/LD +HMER LANGUAGE MAKES USE OF THREE GENDERED TERMS
FEMALE MALE AND TRANSGENDER NOT NEUTER 4HERE WERE NO POLITICS
TO BEING A TRANNIE TRANNIES JUST WERE 5PON THE ARRIVAL OF 7ESTERN
MISSIONARIES THIS BEGAN TO CHANGE 4HE CONCEPT OF GENDER BINARIES
WAS GRADUALLY NORMALIZED AND TRANSGENDERED +HMERS WERE
GRADUALLY MARGINALIZED 7E WOULD LATER ENCOUNTER THE 0HNOM
0ENH TRANNIES DURING THEIR 3ATURDAY MORNING !PSARA DANCE LESSONS
AT THE 7!# BOAT 4HEY SAY THAT THAT PLACE FEELS LIKE HOME
) DIDNT ACTUALLY GO TO 7!# UNTIL MY SECOND WEEK IN
#AMBODIA 4HAT SAME WEEK ) WAS SITTING IN AN INTERNET CAF£
ALONG A STRIP OF ROAD THAT RUNS PARALLEL TO THE RIVER )T WAS A COUPLE
BLOCKS DOWN FROM THE 4HAI RESTAURANT ) HAD BEEN AT EARLIER )T
TURNS OUT THAT THERE WERE TWO MEN MURDERED THERE THAT NIGHT
$ESPITE MY INITIAL ASSUMPTIONS IT HAD NOTHING TO DO WITH THEIR
ETHNICITY 4HEY ATTEMPTED TO STEAL TWO MOTORBIKES AND THE POLICE
SHOT THEM DEAD ON SIGHT ) ATE AND CHECKED MY EMAIL ON THAT
STREET ALMOST EVERY DAY
! YOUNG BOY WALKED INSIDE AND TRIED TO SELL ME A GUIDEBOOK
TO ,AOS &IVE MINUTES LATER ) HAD TAUGHT HIM HOW TO GIVE A HIGH
lVEˆTHE KIND WHERE YOU SLAP HANDS IN THE AIR AND THEN SWOOP
DOWN IN AN ARCING MOTION AND SLAP HANDS AGAIN WHEN THEY
MEET AT THE BOTTOM !FTER ANOTHER MINUTES OF LISTENING TO A
'ERMAN PUNK ROCK BAND CALLED )NNER #ONmICT HE GAVE ME MY
HEADPHONES BACK SMILED AND SAID GOODBYE )N OUR SUBSEQUENT
DAILY INTERACTIONS ) NEVER DID lGURE OUT WHAT TO CALL HIM %ACH
TIME ) ASKED HE QUICKLY BLURTED WHAT SEEMED TO BE A DIFFERENT
ONESYLLABLE NAME ) SOON GAVE UP TRYING TO LEARN IT
! FEW DAYS LATER WE STARTED TALKING IN THE STREET ON MY WAY
TO THE 7!# BOAT ) SPED PAST THE CAFES AND MEN WITH KROMATH
WRAPPED AROUND THEIR NECKS ON MY BICYCLE (IS FACE LIT UP FROM
THE CURB HE NEARLY JUMPED DIRECTLY IN FRONT OF MY TIRE ) ENDED UP
GIVING HIM DAILY RIDES ON THE BACK OF MY BIKE DOWN THE RIVER ON
MY WAY TO WORK %ACH TIME WE PASSED ANYONE HE KNEW HE WOULD
SHRIEK AS IF TO SAY h,OOK AT ME ) AM RIDING WITH A FAHRANv -AYBE
SOMEWHERE DEEP INSIDE ) WANTED THE TOURISTS WE PASSED TO SEE ME
WITH A +HMER BOY TOO TO DECLARE h,OOK )M NOT SOME ASSHOLE
TOURIST LIKE YOU )M DIFFERENTv THOUGH ITS EMBARRASSING NOW AND
) WOULD NEVER HAVE ADMITTED THAT AT THE TIME 7E WOULD RIDE TO A
PARTICULAR CORNER THAT WAS GOOD FOR BUSINESS AND HED HOP OFF 4HEN
) WOULD CONTINUE MY JOURNEY TO 7!# BY MYSELF
4HEY BEGAN TO TEAR UP THE ROAD SEVERAL BLOCKS AFTER MY FRIENDS
DROP OFF POINT $URING THE ENTIRE MONTHS OF *ULY AND !UGUST SOME
MAJOR SECTION OF ROAD ALONG THE RIVER WAS UNDER CONSTRUCTION )
DUCKED UNDER MAKESHIFT CAUTION TAPE AND RODE MY BIKE ON THE
SIDEWALK AND GRASS NEXT TO IT ) USUALLY MANAGED TO EVADE THE COPS
AS ) RODE THROUGH THE PERPETUAL CLOUD OF DUST WITH A BANDANA
OVER MY FACE 3QUINTING MY EYES AS TIGHTLY AS POSSIBLE ) SURVIVED
THE AIRBORNE DIRT /N THE OFF CHANCE ) WAS CAUGHT BY A COP ) WAS
FORCED TO RIDE THE DETOUR ROUTE WITH THE MOTORBIKES 4HE DETOUR
WAS COMPRISED OF MORE POTHOLES THAN ROAD ) SUPPOSE MY GREEN
ONE SPEED BIKE WASNT IN SUCH GOOD SHAPE EITHER 4HE TUMULTUOUS
THRASHING OF MY TIRES WOULD SOMETIMES JAR THE SEAT RIGHT OFF IT
0EOPLE ON MOTORBIKES AND RICKSHAWS WOULD SPEED PAST USUALLY
LOOKING OVER THEIR SHOULDERS AT ME -OST WHITE PEOPLE DIDNT STAY
IN #AMBODIA LONG ENOUGH TO ACQUIRE THEIR OWN TRANSPORTATION
4HOSE THAT DID HAD CARS ) OFTEN RODE BAREFOOT
! FEW BLOCKS AFTER THE END OF THE CONSTRUCTION AREA WAS A
SPOT WHERE TWO MEN WOULD SPREAD OUT BLANKETS ON THE GRASS
/N TOP WOULD BE AN ASSORTMENT OF TRINKETS MOSTLY CARVED
ELEPHANTS AND "UDDHAS BUT ALSO PLASTIC GUNS AND BEADS 4HE
POLICE REGULARLY STAKED OUT A SPOT A FEW FEET FURTHER DOWN FROM
THEM WHERE THEY WOULD ARBITRARILY PULL OVER MOTORBIKE DRIVERS
FOR BRIBES ) RODE PAST WITH EASE ) NEVER DID lGURE OUT IF IT WAS
BECAUSE OF MY WHITE PRIVILEGE OR MY BIKE PRIVILEGE WHO PULLS
OVER A BICYCLE *UST LIKE THE REST OF 0HNOM 0ENH THE LATENT SMELL
OF BURNT GARBAGE HUNG IN THE AIR n NOT THE PUTRID KIND MORE
LIKE THE PLEASANT SMELL OF CHARRED WOOD IN A lREPLACE YET TINGED
WITH THE SMELL OF BURNT HAIR FOLLICLESxOR SOMETHING LIKE THAT )N
THIS AREA THE SMELL WAS MIXED WITH THE SCENT OF HEAVY MACHINERY
n DONATED #ATERPILLARS FROM *APAN "Y THE TIME THE SMELL OF
CONSTRUCTION HAD DISSIPATED ) HAD ARRIVED AT MY DESTINATION
9OU COULD BARELY READ THE SIGN FROM THE ROAD 9OU DIDNT
NEED TO EVERYONE KNEW WHAT THE 7!# BOAT WAS %VERYONE WHO
MATTERED AT LEAST EVERY SEX WORKER TRANSSEXUAL !)$3 PATIENT
AND PEACE ACTIVIST %VERY DAY ) WOULD PASS WOMEN IN THE SMALL
SPACE OF LAND BETWEEN THE PARKING LOT IN FRONT OF THE 7!#
BOAT AND THE DUST CLOUD CALLED THE ROAD &RUIT HUNG IN YELLOW
NETTING FROM THE ROOFS OF THEIR WOODEN STANDS 4HE WOMENS
WARES CONSISTED MOSTLY OF MONKEY BANANAS JACKFRUIT RAMBUTANS
POMELLOS MANGOS AND MANGOSTEENS BUT OCCASIONALLY THEY HAD A
DURIAN OR TWO AS WELL 4HEIR OFTENNAKED CHILDREN PLAYED SOCCER
IN THE PARKING LOT AND CHEERFULLY CLIMBED ALL OVER ME AND MY
BICYCLE WHENEVER ) ENTERED !DJACENT TO THE LOT ON THE RIGHT HAND
SIDE WAS A SHANTY TOWN WHERE THE FRUITWOMEN AND THEIR FAMILIES
LIVED IN TENTS MADE FROM SALVAGED TARPS AND MAKESHIFT HUTS /VER
THE COURSE OF THE MONTH OF !UGUST ONE SUCH HUT WAS BUILT ON THE
GRASS HILL LEADING UP FROM THE RIVER TO THE PARKING LOT ) WATCHED A
FAMILY OF SIX SLOWLY CONSTRUCT IT FROM SCATTERED PIECES OF DRYWALL
STYROFOAM CLOTH AND WOOD )T WAS ABOUT SIX FEET LONG ON EACH
SIDE IT WAS SMALLER AND LESS STURDY THAN SOME OF THE FORTS ) BUILT
AS A CHILD
!T THE END OF THE RAINY SEASON THE RIVER COMPLETELY mOODS
THE AREA UP TO THE PARKING LOT 4HEIR HOUSE IS LIKELY UNDERWATER AS
) WRITE THIS
$IRECTLY BEHIND THE HOUSE WAS A CONCRETE WALL THAT HOLDS
UP THE GROUND OVER WHAT WOULD OTHERWISE BE A LANDSLIDE INTO
THE 4ON ,E 3AP 4HE PARKING LOT SAT PERPENDICULAR TO THE WALL
AND ON ITS EDGE RESTED AN OLD GUARD TOWER h4OWERv SEEMS TO
CONFER MAGNITUDE AND HEIGHT SOMETHING THAT CERTAINLY DOES
NOT CHARACTERIZE THIS STRUCTURE )T WAS A BOOTH )T WAS ALSO ABOUT
SIX FEET ON EACH SIDE 4HE BOOTH WAS SQUATTED BY A FAMILY OF lVE
&OUND 0EPSI ADVERTISEMENT CANVASSES WERE STRETCHED OUT FROM THE
ROOF TO USE AS RAIN mAPS COVERING THE SHODDY SLEEPING BENCH IN
FRONT 4HERE WAS NOT ENOUGH ROOM TO SLEEP INSIDE
4O THE LEFT OF THE BOOTH STOOD A WOODEN BRIDGE EXTENDING
FROM THE LOT TO THE EDGE OF THE RIVER !T THE END LAY THE BASE OF
ANOTHER BRIDGE WHICH TRANSFORMS INTO A STAIRCASE WHEN THE RIVER
RISES
3HAFTS OF SUNLIGHT SIFTED THROUGH THE CLOUDS DOWN TO EARTH
UNTIL THEY LANDED AND REmECTED OFF OF THE SHEET METAL ROOlNG
ON THE TOP OF THE 7!# BOAT ) FEEL COMPELLED TO DESCRIBE IT AS A
hBEACON OF LIGHTv BUT REALLY IT WAS TOO RUSTY FOR THAT 4HE FADED
SIGN PROCLAIMED h7OMYNS !GENDA FOR #HANGEv IN PEELING STICKER
LETTERS )N THE BACKGROUND THE NAME OF THE OLD DANCE CLUB WAS
VISIBLE ENOUGH TO NOT BE ABLE TO DECIPHER THE MEANING BUT ONLY
TO TAKE NOTE OF ITS GHOST 4HE +HMER WORDS WERE STILL THERE
WRITTEN IN THE DIRT THAT COLLECTED ON THE STICKY REMAINDER OF WHAT
USED TO BE DECAL LETTERS
%NTERING THE BOAT FOR THE lRST TIME WAS NOSTALGIC AND NEW AT
THE SAME TIME ) DIDNT KNOW ANYONE THERE AND DIDNT KNOW WHAT
TO EXPECT 4HEN ) BEGAN TO LOOK AROUND AND THOUGHT h(EY )
HAVE THAT POSTER !ND THAT POSTER !ND THAT POSTER !ND IS THAT AN
ANARCHY SYMBOLv ! WOMAN SMILED AND WAVED 3HE STOOD ABOUT
AS HIGH AS MY NOSE (ER NAME WAS 0HOUNG !FTER INTRODUCING
HERSELF SHE EXPLAINED THAT SHE WAS A 3ENIOR 0ROGRAM /FlCER IN
)NTERNATIONAL #ENTER FOR %THICS *USTICE AND 0UBLIC ,IFE CHARGE OF 7!#S SEX WORKER EMPOWERMENT PROJECT $AN ,EAH
AND ) SAT DOWN ON PILLOWS IN THE MIDDLE OF THE mOOR UNDER A
DISCO BALL AND STAGE LIGHTS /N THE WALL BEHIND A STAGE A PROJECTOR
PLAYED SEVERAL 0OWER0OINTS ILLUSTRATING THE PLIGHT OF #AMBODIAN
WOMEN !FTER FOUR EMOTIONALLY DRAINING PRESENTATIONS SHE WAVED
US OVER TO THE ADJACENT COUCHES SURROUNDING A TABLE 6ASES WITH
BEAUTIFUL PAINTINGS OF (O #HI -INH AND -AO 4SE 4UNG SERVED
AS PAPERWEIGHTS HOLDING DOWN 2EVOLUTIONARY !SSOCIATION OF THE
7OMEN OF !FGHANISTAN 2!7! PAMPHLETS AND THE MOST RECENT
ISSUES OF THE .EW )NTERNATIONALIST AND 'REEN ,EFT 7EEKLY 0HOUNG
GAVE US TEA AND ASKED IF WE HAD ANY QUESTIONS
) HAD MANY
7E WERE SOON JOINED BY A 6UTHY ANOTHER 3ENIOR 0ROGRAM
/FlCER WHO DIRECTED THE RESEARCH ON DEBT AND NEOLIBERALISM (E
WORE AN ANTI)-& SHIRT HE GOT AT A DEMONSTRATION IN 7ASHINGTON
$# A FEW YEARS EARLIER ) HAD BEEN AT THE SAME PROTEST AND HAD
MARCHED WITH THE GROUP THAT SILKSCREENED THAT SHIRT 4IEN
THE THIRD 3ENIOR 0ROGRAM /FlCER AND DIRECTOR OF THE 'ARMENT
7ORKER PROJECT WASNT THERE THAT DAY /N THE OTHER SIDE OF THE
ROOM SAT 3OCHEATA 3OKUNTHY 0AGNA AND +ADEAI ALL TYPING AT
COMPUTERS 4HEY WERE ALL ROUGHLY MY AGE AND SEEMED INTENSELY
FOCUSED ON THEIR WORK WHEN THEY WERENT CRACKING JOKES !
TALL WOMAN WITH LONG DARK HAIR AND HIGH CHEEKBONES STOPPED
SWEEPING THE mOOR TO LAUGH WITH THE KIDS )T TOOK ME ABOUT
TWO WEEKS TO lGURE OUT THAT HER JOB WAS A CLEANER ) HAD ALWAYS
ASSUMED 3OPHEAP WAS A HEAD PROGRAM OFlCER WHO JUST ENJOYED
SWEEPING UP 3HE WAS TREATED NO DIFFERENTLY THAN ANYONE ELSE AT
7!# HER PROlLE AND JOB DESCRIPTION SAT RIGHT NEXT TO 2OSANNAS
ON THEIR DIRECTORY WHICH ) DIDNT READ UNTIL MY LAST WEEK THERE
-ATTS DESK WAS IN A SMALL ROOM NEXT TO THE STAGE (E WAS A
TWENTYSOMETHING ETHNICALLYAMBIGUOUS !USTRALIAN EXPAT -ATTS
SARCASM WAS BOTH COMPELLING AND OFFPUTTING ) HAD MET HIM
A FEW DAYS EARLIER AT 2OSANNAS RIVER HOUSE AND WATCHED HIM
CHAIN SMOKE CIGARETTES WHILE EXPLAINING 7!#S WORK 4HAT SAME
DAY ) MET !NNA AND 3ARA TWO INTERNS FROM SOME LAW SCHOOL IN
-ICHIGAN 4HEY WERE ONLY THERE FOR A COUPLE MONTHS DURING THE
SUMMER UNLIKE 3ANUSHKA 3ANUSHKA WAS AN )NDIAN!USTRALIAN
INTERN SENT TO 7!# BY /XFAM!USTRALIA ON A YOUTH PROGRAM
3HE SPENT HALF HER TIME AT ANOTHER OFlCE AND HALF HER TIME AT A
TABLE ADJACENT TO 2OSANNAS DOOR 2OSANNA WASNT IN THAT DAY )M
NOT SURE WHERE SHE WAS $URING THE MONTH OF *ULY SHE WAS RARELY
ON THE BOAT SHE USUALLY GAVE PRESENTATIONS TO 0ARLIAMENT ) SAW
HER ALMOST AS OFTEN AT HER HOUSE AS ) DID AT 7!#
4HREE ALIVE
)F ) CANNOT HAVE A 2EVOLUTION WHAT IS THERE TO DANCE
ABOUT
n !LBERT -ELTZER
! TUK TUK IS KIND OF LIKE THE CONFUSED MARRIAGE OF A GOLF CART AND
A MOTORBIKE )TS A BIT SLOWER AND MORE AWKWARD TO MANEUVER
BUT CAN ALSO SEAT FOUR PEOPLE OR IN THE CASE OF #AMBODIANS
ABOUT TEN IF THEY CAN STUFF THEMSELVES IN PROPERLY )NGRID HAD
4HE !RT OF #OEXISTENCE%THICS AND #OEXISTENCE 3TUDENT &ELLOWS
ARRANGED FOR ONE TO TAKE $AN AND ME TO 2OSANNAS RIVER HOUSE
OUR lRST WEEKEND THERE )NGRID DIRECTED THE 2EYUM )NSTITUTE OF
!RTS AND #ULTURE ANOTHER .'/ ) WORKED AT THAT SUMMER ) LIVED
IN HER APARTMENT ACROSS THE STREET FROM THE .ATIONAL -USEUM
4HE TUK TUK WAS WAITING THERE FOR US
7E SPUTTERED DOWN THE ROAD IN FRONT OF THE MUSEUM AND
TOOK A RIGHT UNTIL WE SWOOPED AROUND THE TEMPLE 7AT 0HNOM
-ONKEYS RAN ALONG THE TELEPHONE WIRES THAT STRETCHED AROUND
THE ISLAND OF GRASS HOUSING THE PAGODA 7E TRUDGED ONWARD
AND UPWARD OVER THE *APANESE &RIENDSHIP "RIDGE ! COLLEAGUE
AT 2EYUM WOULD LATER TELL ME THAT HEARTBROKEN MEN REGULARLY
THROW THEMSELVES OFF THE BRIDGE ADDING TO THE BODIES LYING AT THE
BOTTOM OF THE 4ON ,E 3AP /UR TUK TUK GASPED FOR BREATH AS WE
COVERED OUR EYES FROM THE DUST KICKED UP BY MOTORBIKES ZOOMING
BY US ON THE PEDESTRIAN CURB ) HAD FORGOTTEN TO MASK UP /NCE
WE REACHED THE OTHER SIDE THE CITY NOISES STOPPED
) GUESS IT WAS TECHNICALLY STILL 0HNOM 0ENH BUT WE WERE
IN THE COUNTRYSIDE 4HE ROADS LOST ALL PRETENSE OF PAVING 3TILTED
WOODEN HOUSES DANGLED OVER THE WET RICE lELDS TO THE LEFT -ANY
LOOKED AS IF THEY WERE ON THE BRINK OF COLLAPSE $USTY SHOPS AND
BANANA TREES LINED THE RIGHT 7E lRST PASSED A SIGN GRAPHICALLY
DEPICTING A CRYING BLACK BEAR GETTING ITS BLOODY HANDS CHOPPED
OFF 4HEN ONE FOR THE NEW !MERICANSTYLE SUBURB DEVELOPMENT
COMPLETE WITH A MAP OF GRID LIKE STREETS
7HEN WE PULLED ONTO A SMALL MUDDY PATH EVERYWHERE WE
COULD LOOK WAS GREEN 4HE CHICKENS DUCKED FOR COVER THE DOGS
BARKED AND THE CHILDREN SHRIEKED h(ELLOv 4HEY WOULD SCREAM
@HELLO AT ANY WHITE PERSON IN SIGHT 2OSANNA HAD ONCE TRIED TO
TEACH THEM TO YELL h3-!3( #!0)4!,)3-v INSTEAD BUT IT NEVER
REALLY CAUGHT ON 7E PULLED INTO THE GATE OF HER RIVER HOUSE )T
WAS THE lRST OF WHAT WOULD BE MANY VISITS
2OSANNA SAID THAT ONCE A REPORTER ASKED IF HE COULD INTERVIEW
HER ON THE hHARDSHIPS AND STRUGGLES OF LIVING AS AN AID WORKER
IN #AMBODIAv 3HE REFUSED h,IFE ISNT A STRUGGLE FOR ME IN THE
SLIGHTEST 7HY IN THE WORLD WOULD THEY WANT TO FOCUS ON ME
INSTEAD OF THE WOMEN HERE WHO ARE SUFFERING EVERY DAYv 2O DIDNT
HAVE THE WHITE GUILT THAT PLAGUED MANY LIBERALS FROM THE 3TATES
3HE LIVED HER LIFE ON HER OWN COMPLETELY UNAPOLOGETIC TERMS (ER
HOME AT lRST STRUCK ME AS CRASS HYPOCRISY )T WAS GORGEOUS 4HE
RIVER HOUSE WAS STILTED LIKE THOSE OF HER NEIGHBORS 9ET UNLIKE THE
NEIGHBORS HOMES HERS WAS MADE FROM STURDY SHELLACKED 4EAK
WOOD 4HE ARCHITECTURE WAS MOSTLY 4HAI )T WAS MAINTAINED BY LIVE
IN GROUNDSKEEPERS ) SCRATCHED MY HEAD AND THOUGHT h3OCIALISTS
DONT HAVE SERVANTS 7HAT KIND OF PLACE IS THISv ) WAS SKEPTICALx
BUT SUBSEQUENT SLEEPOVERS WOULD SOFTEN ME UP
/NE MORNING ) WOKE TO WATCH THE SUN RISE ,YING ON A RED
6IETNAMESE HAMMOCK ) WATCHED MAGENTA RAYS POKE THROUGH
MANGROVE AND PALM BRANCHES TO PENETRATE THE BRIGHT BLUE
MORNING -EKONG WATER 4HE SILHOUETTE OF A lSHING CANOE mOATED
BY ! MAN WITH A LARGE NET STOOD AT THE BOW WHILE HIS TODDLER
SAT AT THE BACK "IRDS SANG INSECTS CHIRPED ROOSTERS CROWED THE
OCCASIONAL DOG HOWLED AND THE WATER SWIRLED AND GLISTENED WITH
THE CURRENT 2OS HOUSE WASNT THE DECADENT DISPLAY OF WEALTH THAT
) HAD lRST IMAGINED )T WAS MORE LIKE A SIMPLE JUNGLE HIDEAWAY
)TS NOT ACTUALLY HER RIVER HOUSE )TS A COLLECTIVE AND FOUR
OTHER PEOPLE LIVE THERE AS WELL 7AR 2ACISM AND %CONOMIC
)NJUSTICE BY &IDEL #ASTRO LAY ON THE BOOKSHELF NEXT TO AN !PSARA
CARVING )T HAD THE SAME COVER ART AS THE DEBUT %0 OF A HARDCORE
PUNK BAND FROM BACK HOME CALLED $IALLO -OST OF 2OSANNAS
POSSESSIONS SEEMED TO BE BOOKS &RUIT AND mOWER BEARING TREES
SURROUNDED THE HOME #HICKENS FROM NEIGHBORING HOUSES OFTEN
WANDERED INTO THE YARD PECKING AT THE GROUND FOR WORMS OR
WHATEVER CHICKENS EAT 2OS COLLECTIVE ALSO ENCOMPASSED A SMALL
SIMPLE GUESTHOUSE THAT THEY LOANED OUT TO RESIDENT ARTISTS OR
PEOPLE WRITING NOVELS (AMMOCKS WERE STRUNG BETWEEN mOOD
POSTS AND WALLS CONSISTED MOSTLY OF OPENED SCREENED WINDOWS
4HERE WAS NO AIR CONDITIONING BUT THE RIVER BROUGHT COOL AIR
EVERY NIGHT ,ARGE MULTICOLORED GECKOS LIVED IN THE RAFTERS AND
OCCASIONALLY CAME DOWN TO GREET US 7HEN CONFRONTED WITH
THE hSERVANT QUESTIONv 2OSANNA EXPLAINED THAT SHE BELIEVES IN
EQUITABLE DISTRIBUTION OF LABOR 3HE WOULD RATHER DEDICATE HER
TIME TO lGHTING IMPERIALISM THAN TO RAINPROOlNG THE DECK
3O INSTEAD SHE HIRES PEOPLE AND PAYS THEM VERY WELL WITH
REPRESENTATION AND FULL BENElTS 4HEY ARE PROBABLY THE ONLY
PEOPLE IN #AMBODIA WHO DO HOUSEWORK AND GET FULL HEALTH
INSURANCE 4HEIR RELATIONSHIP TO 2O IS ONE OF RESPECT AND
DIGNITY
3HE CAN BE INTIMIDATING IF NOT DOWNRIGHT SCARY TO MOST
PEOPLE 5PON LEARNING THAT ) WAS A h"RANDEIS %THICS AND
#OEXISTENCE 3TUDENT &ELLOWv 2OSANNA LOOKED ME IN THE EYE AND
mATLY STATED h&UCK COEXISTENCEv 3HE DOESNT PUT UP WITH ANY
BULLSHIT
2OSANNA "ARBAREO IS AN !USTRALIAN EXPAT WHO HAS LIVED
IN #AMBODIA FOR OVER A DECADE 3HE WAS AN ACTIVE MEMBER OF
THE !USSIE #OMMUNIST PARTY AT THE AGE OF !FTER ORGANIZING
FACTORY WORKERS SHE GREW TO EMBRACE THE !USTRALIAN 3OCIAL
$EMOCRATS THROUGH WHICH SHE ADOPTED #AMBODIA AS ONE OF THEIR
hOUTREACHv COUNTRIES !S TIME WENT ON SHE BECAME MORE AND
MORE INVOLVED IN #AMBODIAN SOCIAL CHANGE EVENTUALLY SETTING UP
PERMANENT RESIDENCE IN 0HNOM 0ENH 3HE HAS BEEN THE DIRECTOR
OF 7!# EVER SINCE 2O HAS SUSTAINED A HEALTHY POLYAMOROUS
RELATIONSHIP OVER THE COURSE OF YEARS WITH HER SARCASTIC
HUSBAND 0ETE 4HE SLEEVELESS DRESSES SHE WEARS PROUDLY DISPLAY HER
BROWN ARMPIT HAIR 3HE IS A STRICT VEGETARIAN !ND SHE INTRODUCED
ME TO #ES
#ES -ILLADO IS A &ILIPINO !)$3 ACTIVIST LIVING IN 0HNOM
0ENH ) MET HER AT THE RIVER HOUSE 3HE HAD JUST COME BACK FROM
DOING WORKSHOPS ALL OVER #HINA !FTER INTRODUCING HERSELF HER
SMILE MOVED HER CHEEK MUSCLES SO HIGH UP HER FACE THAT HER
GLASSES ALMOST SLIPPED OFF #ES HUGGED ME AND OFFERED SOME
"URMESE TEA SHE GOT ON HER TRAVELS )T TASTED A LITTLE LIKE HOT
CHOCOLATE !FTER AN HOUR OF JOKING AROUND WITH HER CURLED UP
ON THE COUCH WITH "URMESE TEA SHE FELT LIKE AN OLD FRIEND
(ER HUMOR IS INTOXICATINGˆSHE THINKS EVERYTHING IS FUNNY
WHICH MAKES IT ACTUALLY FUNNY (ER LAUGHTER IS JOVIAL WHILE
SIMULTANEOUSLY EARNEST AND SINCERE 7HEN YOU SPEAK TO #ES
YOU KNOW SHE IS REALLY LISTENING 3HE CARES ABOUT WHAT YOU HAVE
TO SAY 3HE IS A LARGE WOMAN ) DONT MEAN TO USE THE WORD
hLARGEv AS A EUPHEMISM FOR
hFATvˆSHE ISNT "UT HER SIZE
CARRIES A VIBRANCY THAT WAS
UNMISTAKABLE #ES IS ALIVE
2OSANNA BY CONTRAST
IS THIN TO THE POINT OF
FRAILTY 7HILE #ESS VITALITY
IS ENCAPSULATED IN HER
PHYSICALLY 2OSANNAS
PASSIONATE VIVACITY SEEMS TO
CONTRADICT HER SMALL FRAME
/NE DOESNT ANTICIPATE THE
PROFANITY THAT LIES BEHIND
HER WRY SMILE (ER WORDS
ALWAYS RING WITH DIRECTION
INTENTION AND FOCUS 3HE ALSO
LIKES TO LAUGH "OTH 2O AND
#ES DANCE SILLY AND THEY GIVE
FANTASTIC HUGS 4HEY STARTED
) NEVER DID lGURE OUT HIS NAME
7!# TOGETHER BACK WHEN
IT WAS A PROJECT OF /XFAM
(ONG +ONG #ES EVENTUALLY LEFT TO DO HER OWN FREELANCING AS AN
!)$3 EDUCATOR ORGANIZER AND WORKSHOP FACILITATOR 3HE IS IN VERY
HIGH DEMAND 2OSANNA IS NOW THE MAIN 7!# COORDINATOR
&OUR IMPOSTOR COSTUME
h4HEY BREAK OUR LEGS AND WE SAY @THANK YOU WHEN
THEY OFFER US CRUTCHESv
#HUMBAWAMBA
4HE lRST TIME ) SAW 2OSANNA FOR MORE THAN lVE MINUTES WAS AT
)NGRIDS RIVER HOUSE 4HE SUN HAD ALREADY SET 'IGI WAS WEARING
HER DECEPTIVE SMILEˆTHE KIND THAT MAKES YOU THINK SHE IS A
FRIENDLY DOG THAT WANTS A PAT ON THE HEAD 3HE DOES NOT 4HAT
NIGHT SHE WAS PARTICULARLY ANXIOUS FOR SOME REASON !S 'IGI
DARTED AROUND OUR LEGS BARKING AND GROWLING AND BARKING THE
MOSQUITOES HAD ALREADY BEGUN TO DART AROUND OUR HEADS ,IKE
WITH 'IGI YOU EXPECTED THEM TO BITE BUT CURIOUSLY THEY NEVER
REALLY DID )NGRID AND 2OSANNA WERE TALKING ABOUT THE NEIGHBORS
BABY WATER BUFFALO BUT ) WASNT REALLY PAYING ATTENTION
-ESMERIZED BY THE MOONS REmECTION ON THE BLACK -EKONG WATER
) GAZED OFF THE EDGE OF THE PORCH UNTIL A PARTICULAR CONVERSATION
JOLTED ME BACK TO ATTENTION 4HE VOLUME OF )NGRIDS VOICE
DROPPED )T SHARPENED WITH SERIOUSNESS
h0EOPLE MIGHT BE NICE TO YOU "UT YOU CANT TRUST ANYONE
HERE $ONT FOOL YOURSELF INTO THINKING RELATIONSHIPS ARE GENUINE
0EOPLE MIGHT LIKE YOU AND BE FRIENDS WITH YOU BUT THEY ALWAYS
HAVE ULTERIOR MOTIVES ON TOP OF IT )TS JUST HOW THINGS ARE ITS JUST
THE SITUATION BEING A 7ESTERNER IN #AMBODIA %VERYONE IS TRYING
TO GET SOMETHING OUT OF YOU 4HEY WILL SELL YOU OUT IN A SECOND IF
IT CAN GET THEM A DOLLARv
)T WAS OUR FOURTH DAY THERE BUT BOTH $AN AND ) WERE
ALREADY FAMILIAR WITH )NGRIDS CYNICISM (ALF OF ME TOOK HER
)NTERNATIONAL #ENTER FOR %THICS *USTICE AND 0UBLIC ,IFE ADVICE TO HEART 4HE OTHER
HALF DISMISSED IT OUT OF
HAND !LL OF ME LOOKED
DOWN ON IT 4HE lRST THING
THAT CAME TO MIND WAS A
SCENE FROM 3PIDER -AN
) THOUGHT OF THE VIVID
IMAGE OF (ARRY /SBOURNES
FATHERˆTHE ARCHETYPE OF THE
WHITE DISTANT EVIL RULING
CLASS BILLIONAIREˆDRESSED IN
A BOURGEOIS BLACK BUSINESS
SUIT (IS CONTORTED FACE
SNARLED h4HEYgRE ALL BEAUTIFUL
READY TO ROCK
UNTIL THEY START SNIFlNG
AROUND YOUR TRUST FUND LIKE
A PACK OF RAVENING WOLVESv
) FELT MY FACE mUSH WITH EMBARRASSMENT FROM IMAGINING AN
!MERICAN POP CULTURAL REFERENCE TO ILLUMINATE A POLITICAL
INTERPRETATION OF WHAT )NGRID SAID .OBODY NOTICED )T WAS DARK
OUT
-EETING PEOPLE IN 0HNOM 0ENH WAS OFTEN REFRESHINGLY
STRAIGHTFORWARD "ACK IN THE 5NITED 3TATES PEOPLE PLAY STRANGE
SOCIAL GAMES .OBODY WANTS TO BE TOO ENTHUSIASTIC OFF THE BAT
3HOWING TOO MUCH INTEREST 4HATS WEIRD )NDIFFERENCE IS HIP
#AMBODIANS NEVER LEARNED HOW TO BE HIP -ANY LOOK YOU
STRAIGHT IN THE EYE AND SAY h) WANT TO MAKE A FRIEND WITH YOU IS
THAT OKAYv AT THE END OF A lRST CONVERSATION )F YOU ANSWER hYESv
IT OFTEN PROMPTS THEM TO DECLARE h7E ARE BEST FRIENDSv AS OFTEN
AS POSSIBLE ) TOOK IT TO BE AN ENDEARING CULTURAL DIFFERENCE )
DIDNT REALIZE WHAT ) WAS GETTING MYSELF INTO
)T QUICKLY BECAME APPARENT THAT MANY #AMBODIANS SOUGHT
MY FRIENDSHIP BECAUSE ) WAS A 7ESTERNER h4HATS OKAYv ) THOUGHT
)T DOESNT MEAN THEY DONT WANT TO BE FRIENDS WITH ME FOR ME
(AD ) SEEN A CRUST PUNK WALKING DOWN THE STREETS OF 0HNOM
0ENH ) MOST CERTAINLY WOULD HAVE APPROACHED HERHIM BY VIRTUE
OF THEIR PUNKNESS 4HAT DOESNT CHEAPEN THE INTERACTION ) WOULD
LATER USE THE SAME LOGIC TO RATIONALIZE MY OWN ENTHUSIASM FOR MY
FRIENDSHIP WITH A MONK BY VIRTUE OF HIS MONKHOOD
#ES h) GOT ANOTHER EMAIL FROM HIMv h7HOv h4HAT GUY (AK
3RUN ) TOLD YOU ABOUTv !BOUT A MONTH AND A HALF AFTER THAT
CONVERSATION WITH )NGRID AT HER RIVER HOUSE ) WAS IN 3IEM 2EAP
4HATS A NORTHERN #AMBODIAN PROVINCE AND HOME OF THE ANCIENT
!NGKOR 7AT TEMPLES ) WAS STAYING AT THE !NGKOR #ENTURY (OTEL
WITH MY VISITING PARENTS 7E ARRIVED AT DUSK n AROUND PM
) WAS UP LATE FRANTICALLY WRITING AN EMAIL TO MY THENPARTNER
#LAIRE TO THE BACKDROP OF THE )NTERNATIONAL .OISE #ONSPIRACY
SONG h)MPOSTOR #OSTUMEv ! TALL MAN WITH HIGH CHEEKBONES
AND A MAROON UNIFORM SAUNTERED OVER AND AWKWARDLY STOOD
OVER ME 0ULLED FROM THE HAZE OF MY EMOTIONAL KEYPOUNDING
) LOOKED UP AND SMILED 5PON RECEIVING MY SMILE HE RETURNED
ONE TWICE AS WIDE ) COULDNT LET HIM OUTDO ME ) SAW HIS SMILE
AND RAISED HIM TWO DIMPLES (E SAW MY DIMPLES AND RAISED ME
HIS LIPS DISPLAYING HIS SLIGHTLY OUTOF LINE MOTHER OF PEARL TEETH
4HE !RT OF #OEXISTENCE%THICS AND #OEXISTENCE 3TUDENT &ELLOWS
7E HAD SURELY BROKEN OUT OF OUR POKER FACES ) OFFERED HIM MY
EARPHONES (E LOOKED AT ME IN DISBELIEF (AK 3RUN WOULD LATER
TELL ME h.OBODY EVER TALK TO ME UNLESS IT IS FOR HOTEL THINGSv )
WAS THE lRST 7ESTERNER WHO INTERACTED WITH HIM ON SOCIAL TERMS
BEYOND HIS ROLE AS A SERVICE AGENT
7EARING MY EARPHONES HE STARTED ROCKING OUT AND ) TURNED
MY ATTENTION BACK TO MY IMPASSIONED EMAIL 7HEN THE #$
ENDED HE ASKED h-AY ) MAKE A FRIEND WITH YOUv h/F COURSEv
(IS EYES WIDENED h) THINK ) AM VERY LUCKY TO HAVE A SPECIAL FRIEND
LIKE YOU ) HAVE NEVER HAD A FRIEND LIKE YOU BEFOREv 3MILING )
REPLIED h) HAVE NEVER HAD A FRIEND LIKE YOU BEFORE EITHERv (E
QUICKLY BEGAN TRIPPING OVER HIS WORDS h)x) WANT )x9OUx)xv
)NHALE $EEP BREATH h$O YOU LIKE DANCINGv h3UREv h) WOULD LIKE
TO TAKE YOU DANCINGxAND YOUR MOTHER TOOxNIGHTxTOMORROWv
) TOLD HIM THAT ) WOULD LOVE TO BUT WAS UNSURE IF WE COULD 7E
WERE TO WAKE AT AM AND HIKE AROUND JUNGLE AND TEMPLES
ALL DAY )N ALL LIKELIHOOD WE WOULD BE WORN OUT BY THE TIME WE
GOT BACK (E IMMEDIATELY STARTED BACKPEDALING AS IF HE BELIEVED
HE HAD OVERSTEPPED HIS BOUNDS h) AM SORRY $O NOT WORRY YOU
DO NOT NEED TO COME IT OKAY IF YOU CANNOT BUT IF YOU CAN IT GOOD
BUT IF YOU CANNOT IT OKAYv ) REASSURED HIM THAT ) APPRECIATED
HIS INVITATIONˆTHAT )D LOVE TO GO IF ) WERE ABLE "EFORE WE SAID
GOODNIGHT HE PROCLAIMED ME HIS hBEST FRIENDv 4HE NEXT NIGHT MY
MOTHER AND ) WERE TOO TIRED TO ACCOMPANY HIM
h9OU GOT ANOTHER EMAIL FROM HIMv #ES FROWNED
h7HAT HAPPENED AGAIN (E WAS KIND OF STALKING YOU RIGHTv
h7ELL THAT lRST DAY MY PARENTS AND ) TRUDGED BACK INTO THE
HOTEL EXHAUSTED ) DIDNT EVEN SEE HIM AT THE COUNTER BUT )
GUESS HE SAW ME WALK INxOR HE ASKED HIS COWORKERS TO KEEP
A LOOKOUT FOR ME OR SOMETHING ) DONT KNOW "UT THE VERY
SECOND ) OPENED THE DOOR THE PHONE RANG )T WAS (AK 3RUN
(E WASNT EVEN REALLY SAYING ANYTHING IT JUST SEEMED LIKE HE
WAS STRUGGLING FOR CONTACT )N EVERY CONVERSATION WE HAD HE
REPEATED @) DO NOT WANT YOU TO FORGET ME *OSH $O NOT FORGET
MEv
h9OU KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS RIGHT *OSHv
) DIDNT RESPOND TO HER ) WAS RANTING AT THIS POINT h#ES
DO YOU KNOW WHAT HE TOLD MEv
$URING MY SECOND NIGHT IN 3IEM 2EAP (AK 3RUN HAD TOLD
ME THAT HE HAD CALLED HIS FATHER IN #AN 4HO 0ROVINCE 0HONE CALLS
IN #AMBODIA ARE EXPENSIVE ESPECIALLY IF YOU CAN HARDLY AFFORD TO
EAT h) CALLED MY FATHER AND TELL HIM ) MADE A !MERICAN FRIEND
!ND YOU ARE MY BEST FRIEND (E TOLD ME @#ONGRATULATIONS 9OU
MAKE ME VERY HAPPY *OSH ) DO NOT WANT YOU TO SAY YOU LIKE
ME BUT THEN LATER WITH OTHER PEOPLE DO NOT LIKE ME ) WANT
YOU TO REMEMBER ME 9OU ARE MY BEST FRIEND 9OU MAKE ME VERY
HAPPYv ) NERVOUSLY SMILED (E WAS OBLIVIOUS TO MY DISCOMFORT
(AK 3RUN WENT ON TO EXPLAIN THAT HE HAD A COUSIN THAT LIVED IN
0HNOM 0ENH )NSTINCTIVELY IMPULSIVELY PERFUNCTORILY ) REPLIED
h)F YOU COME TO TOWN WE SHOULD GET LUNCHv 3OMEHOW THAT OFFER
TURNED INTO A TENTATIVE PLAN FOR HIM TO COME DOWN AND STAY WITH
ME IN 0HNOM 0ENH 7E WOULD THEN BOTH TRAVEL TO HIS HOME
PROVINCE OF #AN 4HO AND ) WOULD MEET HIS FAMILY
#ES SKEPTICALLY RAISED HER EYEBROWS h7HY DID YOU GIVE
HIM THE IDEA THAT YOU WOULD TAKE A TRIPv ) SHRUGGED h)T
SEEMED LIKE IT WOULD BE FUN ) LIKED THE IDEA AND WANTED TO
DO IT "UT ) ALSO DIDNT REALLY TAKE IT TOO SERIOUSLY ) DUNNO IF )
REALLY THOUGHT IT WOULD ACTUALLY HAPPENv h3O YOU LIKED THE
IDEA BEFORE HE GOT INTENSEv h9EAH BEFORE HE STARTED POUNCING
ON ME EVERY TIME ) SET FOOT WITHIN METERSv h9OU CANT
LEAD #AMBODIANS ON THAT WAY *OSHv 4HE WAY SHE SPOKE
SEEMED OFFENSIVE BUT ) KNEW IT WAS TRUE (AK 3RUN BECAME
MORE AND MORE ZEALOUSLY ATTACHED h(E KEPT GOING ON AND
ON ABOUT HOW HE WANTED TO GIVE ME A GIFT TO DEMONSTRATE HIS
LOVE FOR ME (E HAS NO MONEY #ES /N MY THIRD ;AND LAST=
DAY THERE ) GAVE HIM GIFTS OF VARIOUS ITEMS LIKE MOUTHWASH
SLIPPERS AND TOOTHPASTE (E FORGOT HIS PRESENT FOR ME (E SAID
IT WAS A SMALL ELEPHANT CARVINGv 3HE NODDED AND MOVED
HER HAND IN A CIRCULAR MOTION AS IF TO SAY @9EAH YEAH GET ON
WITH THE STORY ) CONTINUED h7HEN HE REALIZED THAT HE HAD
FORGOTTEN HIS PRESENT HE STARTED mAILING AROUND THE ROOM LIKE
WE WERE IN A BOMB RAID (E REALLY FREAKED OUT (E ASSUMED
) WOULD THINK HE HAD BEEN LYING THE WHOLE TIME ABOUT THE
PRESENT ) TOLD HIM ) DIDNT NEED IT BUT HE WOULDNT ACCEPT
THAT ) SAID THAT IF HE WANTED TO HE COULD MAIL IT TO ME )
ASKED IF HE HAD A MAILBOX (E SAID @9ES)x) MEAN NO )
WILL BUY ONEv #ES THREW UP HER ARMS IN FRUSTRATION h4HIS
GUY COULDNT AFFORD RENT IN HIS BROKEN DOWN SHACK AND HE WAS
GOING TO BUY A MAILBOX 4HATS LUDICROUSv h4HATS WHAT ) TOLD
HIM 4HEN ) SAID THAT IF WE SAW EACH OTHER AGAIN HE COULD
GIVE IT TO ME THEN 4HAT WAS MY WAY OUT ) ALWAYS QUALIlED
ALL MY STATEMENTS ABOUT THATˆIF ) HAVE TIME YOU CAN COME
IF )NGRID DOESNT MIND YOU CAN STAY IF )M NOT BUSY )D LIKE TO
GO WITH YOUxv
#ES LOOKED DISAPPOINTED IN ME h3HOW ME HIS PICTURE
AGAINv ) PULLED OUT THE X INCH PHOTOGRAPH HE GAVE ME SO
THAT @) WOULDNT FORGET HIM h*OSH YOU NEED TO BREAK CONTACT
WITH HIMv h7HYv ) WAS STILL TALKING TO HIM OVER THE INTERNET
ABOUT THE POSSIBILITY OF HIM VISITING h*OSH HE DOESNT CARE
ABOUT YOU (E CARES ABOUT WHAT YOU REPRESENTv 3HE SIGHED
AND HER TONE WAVERED AS IF SHE WERE SPEAKING TO A CHILD .OT
IN A CONDESCENDING MANNER BUT IN AN IMPLORING ONE h(E
IS NOT ASKING YOU TO BE HIS FRIEND (E IS ASKING YOU TO BE HIS
PATRON 9OU REPRESENT TRAVEL OPPORTUNITIES MONEY UPWARD
MOBILITY (E HAS A VISION OF WHAT THIS FRIENDSHIP MEANS AND
HE IS NOT GOING TO LET GO OF IT UNLESS YOU LET HIM GOv ) DIDNT
WANT TO ) KNEW IT WOULD HURT HIM IT FELT LIKE IT WAS GOING TO
BE A ROUGH BREAKUP ) KNEW #ES WAS RIGHT 3HE ALWAYS IS 3HE
ELABORATED h9OU HAVE TO UNDERSTAND YOUR SOCIAL POSITION AS
A 7ESTERNER AS AN OUTSIDER 7ITH THE EXCEPTION OF THE PEOPLE
WHO HAVE HAD IT SOCIALIZED OUT OF THEMˆLIKE THE KIDS AT
7!# FOR EXAMPLEˆEVERYONE SEES YOU AS A POTENTIAL SOURCE
OF INCOMEv 7OW 4HOSE WERE THE EXACT WORDS )NGRID HAD
USED A FEW DAYS EARLIER REITERATING THAT POINT SHE MADE
SO EARLY IN MY INTERNSHIP h9OU ARE A POTENTIAL SOURCE
OF INCOME 7HEN YOU DECIDE TO WALK ALONG THE STREET
AND YOU TURN DOWN A
MOTORBIKE DRIVER HE SEES
YOUR WALKING AS ROBBING
HIM OF HIS SALARY9OU
CANT TRUST ANYONE HEREv
5NTIL ) SPOKE TO #ES
) HAD BEEN EMAILING (AK
3RUN TO TELL HIM ) WAS TOO
BUSY WITH WORK TO SPEND
TIME WITH HIM ! WEEK LATER
(AK 3RUN EMAILED MY FATHER
4HE ONLY WAY HE COULD HAVE
DONE THAT IS IF HE WENT AND
LOOKED IN THE HOTEL RECORDS
FOR THE EMAIL ADDRESS USED
TO RESERVE THE ROOM (E WAS
ONE RESOURCEFUL KID
$EAR MR SCOTT
(OW ARE YOU SIR (OW
IS YOUR WIFE PLEASE BRING
3EX WORKER EMPOWERMENT
MY REGARD TO TELL HER KNOW
LEADER 0HOUNG
ALSO THANK YOU VERY MUCH
FOR YOUR TIME MAIL TO TO ME
BACK I AM VERY HAPPY THAT I RECEIVE YOU MAIL YES REALLY THAT MY
FRIEND HE VERY BUSY WITH HIS JOB I MAIL TO HIME VERY DAY BUT
SOME TIME HE REPLY TO ME ONE DAY SOME TIME THREE DAY BUT FOR
ME IT NOPROBLEM I ALREADY UNDERSTAND HE CAM IN CAMBODIA
SORT TIME FOR HIM SO HE VERY BUSY LIKE THISEVEN HE PROMISS
WITH ME HE WANT TO SEE MY PROVINCE BUT NOW HE DEONgT HAVE
THE TIME TO GO MY PROVINCE BUT MAYBE THE END OF THIS MONTH
WHEN HE lNISH HIS DUTY MAYBE HE HAVE THE TIME WITH ME TO GO
SOMEWHERE AND I TAKE THE PICTURE AND SEND TO YOU WITH JOSH
MY BEST FRIENDAND I GIVE YOU SOME PRESENT TO YOU I LIKE YOUR
FAMILY SO MUCH YOU KNOW SOMTIME I WANT TO SPEAK WITH JOSH
ON PHONE BUT WHEN I CALL HE lNISH HIS DUTY SO NEXT YEAR YOU
CAM AND VISITE CAMBODIA AGAINAND YOU CAM WITH YOUR FAMILY
AND JOSH ALSO WHEN YOU CAM I WILL GO TO PICK YOU UP AT THE
AIRPORT DONgT WORRY I WILL DO SO NEXT YEAR WHICH MONTH THAT
YOU CAMI AM VERY HAPPY THAT ) GET GOOD INFORMATION FROM
YOU LOOKING FORWARD TO WELCOM YOU IN NEXT YEAR WITH TAKE CARE
GOOD LUCK TO YOU
FROM (AK 3RUN
! WEEK AFTER THAT MY DAD SENT ME THIS REPLY
(EY *OSH
) lNALLY SENT (AK 3RUN A REPLY THIS MORNING AND ) GOT
ANOTHER REPLY WITHIN HOURS (E SURE IS PERSISTENT $ISTANCE IS
A GOOD THING
,OVE
$AD
)NTERNATIONAL #ENTER FOR %THICS *USTICE AND 0UBLIC ,IFE (AK 3RUN AND ) STILL WRITE EACH OTHER EMAILS BUT WE
SEEM TO HAVE DEPARTED FROM THE PRETENSE THAT ) AM SOMEHOW
GOING TO hSAVEv HIM /FTENTIMES OPPORTUNITIES ARE CONFERRED
TO #AMBODIANS ONLY THROUGH 7ESTERN PATRONAGE 4HESE
OPPORTUNITIES ARE GIVEN THROUGH A DYNAMIC OF POWERˆINDEED
OFTEN ONE OF CHARITY (AK 3RUN SAW ME THROUGH THAT LENS "EGGARS
IN 0HNOM 0ENH RECEIVE MORE MONEY FROM OTHER #AMBODIANS
THAN THEY DO TOURISTS 9ET SHOULD A TOURIST HAND SOMEONE A lVE
DOLLAR BILL IT WOULD VALIDATE ANY AND ALL ASSUMPTIONS OF WEALTH
AND STATUS -OST .'/S IN THE AREA FUNCTION ON THIS MODEL AS
OPPOSED TO ONE OF SELF DIRECTED EMPOWERMENT 7HILE A TOURIST
MIGHT DROP A COIN IN THE HANDS OF A PANHANDLER AID GROUPS
DROP SOMETHING CALLED -ICROCREDIT 4HAT #AMBODIANS LIKE (AK
3RUN ATTACH THEMSELVES TO 7ESTERN PATRONS IS A METAPHOR FOR THE
COUNTRYS DEVELOPMENT AS A WHOLE
2EALIZING THE WAY IN WHICH #AMBODIANS GRIP ONTO
7ESTERNERS MANY lRSTWORLD GROUPS AND INSTITUTIONS HAVE
IDENTIlED THEM AS A FERTILE MARKET )N DOING SO THEY FURTHER
CULTIVATE THIS UNEQUAL BALANCE OF POWER IN THE INTERESTS OF PROlT
3EEING THESE RELATIONSHIPS AS hDEVELOPMENT SOLUTIONSv THE ELITE
IN #AMBODIA SEEK 7ESTERN PATRONAGE FAR MORE ZEALOUSLY THAN
ANY HOTEL CLERK DOES #AMBODIA IS LOOKING TO OUTSIDE INVESTORS
TO DEVELOP THEIR ECONOMY 4HEYRE EVEN MAKING A BID TO JOIN
THE 7ORLD 4RADE /RGANIZATION -ULTINATIONAL COMPANIES ARE
JUMPING AT THIS CHANCE AND ARE mEECING FARMERS ALL OVER THE
COUNTRY !CCORDING TO A STATEMENT FROM 7!#S $EBT AND 4RADE
,IBERALIZATION PROJECT
,IBERALIZATION MEANS THAT LOCAL AGRICULTURAL PRODUCERS
FACE COMPETITION FROM A MASSIVE mOW OF IMPORTS !T THE
SAME TIME HIGHER PRODUCTION COSTS REQUIRING THE INCREASED
USE OF CREDIT LEADS TO A CYCLE OF DEBT AND LANDLESSNESS 4RADE
LIBERALIZATIONINSPIRED GROWTH ALSO RESULTS IN ENVIRONMENTAL
DEGRADATION AND DEPLETION OF NATURAL RESOURCES AS LAND AND
NATURAL RESOURCES BECOME PRIVATIZED )T ALSO RESULTS IN FURTHER
ENTRENCHING THE SEPARATION OF MEN AND WOMENgS WORK WITH
WOMEN RECEIVING FEWER OPPORTUNITIES IN NEW TECHNOLOGY
EDUCATION TRAINING AND COMMERCIAL BUSINESS OPPORTUNITIES
7OMEN FARMERS ARE ESPECIALLY VULNERABLE TO LOSS OF LAND
AND HARDSHIP AS THEY FACE GENDER DISCRIMINATION OWN SMALLER
FARMS AND MORE OFTEN NEED TO RELY ON HIRING MALE LABORERS
4HEY ALSO MUST CONTEND WITH A DOUBLE LOAD OF AGRICULTURAL
WORK AND DOMESTIC HOUSEWORK AND CHILDCARE
7OMEN FEEL THE EFFECTS OF PRIVATIZATION POLICIES MORE
HARSHLY 4HE BURDEN OF A LOSS OF SOCIAL SERVICES FALLS UPON
WOMEN THE TRADITIONAL CARETAKERS AND HEALERS OF THE FAMILY )T
IS WOMEN WHO ARE LEFT TO LOOK AFTER SICK CHILDREN AND RELATIVES
AND lND FOOD FOR THE FAMILY )F THERE IS LESS TO BE HADˆLESS
FOOD HEALTHCARE AND EDUCATIONˆIT IS USUALLY WOMEN WHO DO
WITHOUT lRST
4HE STRESS THAT POVERTY CREATES ON FAMILIES AND
COMMUNITIES IS ALSO EXPERIENCED MOST POWERFULLY BY WOMEN
THROUGH OTHER SUCH FACTORS AS DOMESTIC VIOLENCE OR THE
HUSBAND OR FATHERgS DRUNKENNESS AND DESERTION
4HE !RT OF #OEXISTENCE%THICS AND #OEXISTENCE 3TUDENT &ELLOWS
4HE EXPLOITATION OF THE POOR BY MULTILATERAL LENDING
INSTITUTIONS SUCH AS THE 7ORLD "ANK AND )NTERNATIONAL
-ONETARY &UND IS BEING PLAYED OUT ON A MICRO LEVEL AS
WELL THROUGH LOANS BY MICROlNANCE INSTITUTIONS CHARGING
APPROXIMATELY INTEREST PER MONTH AND .'/S CHARGING
INTEREST PER MONTH
-ICROCREDIT THE AID INDUSTRYgS PRESCRIBED SOLUTION TO
POVERTY OFTEN DRAGS POOR FAMILIES FURTHER INTO DEBT AND IT IS
THE WOMEN WHO ARE LEFT WITH THE IMPOSSIBLE TASK OF MANAGING
THE FAMILYgS lNANCES 0EOPLE OFTEN TAKE OUT LOANS FROM .'/S
TO PAY FOR MEDICAL BILLS OR BUY RICE IN TIMES OF DROUGHT
mOOD OR OTHER HARDSHIPS /FTEN THEY CANNOT MEET THE INTEREST
PAYMENTS AND END UP SELLING THEIR LAND AND ARE FORCED
TO MIGRATE TO lND WORK OR BEG IN THE CITY CAUSING FAMILY
SEPARATION AND OFTEN FAMILY BREAKDOWN
!S COSTS GO UP AND RURAL COMMUNITIES BECOME MORE
CONNECTED TO THE CASH ECONOMY IT IS BECOMING MORE DIFlCULT
FOR FARMERS TO SURVIVE THROUGH AGRICULTURAL WORK ALONE )N
SUCH AN ENVIRONMENT FAMILIES CANNOT AFFORD TO KEEP CHILDREN
IN SCHOOL 4HIS IS ESPECIALLY TRUE OF GIRL CHILDREN WHO ARE
TRADITIONALLY BURDENED WITH THE CARE OF THE FAMILY MEMBERS
)T IS GIRL CHILDREN THAT ARE MOST COMMONLY SENT TO THE
CITY TO WORK TO SUPPORT THEIR FAMILIES IN RURAL VILLAGES -ANY
FAMILIES NOW DEPEND HEAVILY ON THE INCOME SENT HOME BY THEIR
DAUGHTERS
4HESE YOUNG WOMEN HAVE A HEAVY WEIGHT OF
RESPONSIBILITY BASED ON THE DESPERATION OF THEIR FAMILIES
AND HAVE FEW OPTIONS OR CHOICES IN THE WORK THEY UNDERTAKE
-OST lND THEMSELVES IN EXPLOITATIVE EMPLOYMENT SUCH AS IN
THE GARMENT INDUSTRY WHERE OF #AMBODIAN WOMEN
AGED BETWEEN AND WORK OR IN THE SEX INDUSTRY /LDER
WOMEN AND WOMEN WITH CHILDREN WHO MIGRATE TO THE CITY
OFTEN END UP BEGGING
4HE 7OMYNS !GENDA FOR #HANGE STRUCTURALLY EMBODIES
THEIR CRITIQUE h(AND OUTSv ARE NOT PART OF THEIR POLICY 4HEIR
MISSION TO WHATEVER DEGREE REALIZABLE IS TO CREATE A DYNAMIC
OF SHARED EMPOWERMENT 4HEY DO NOT DENY THAT A STRUCTURE OF
POWER AND PRIVILEGE ALLOWS THEM TO @HELP OTHERS BUT INSTEAD
WORK TO CREATE ENVIRONMENTS AND SITUATIONS WHERE PEOPLE CAN
DIRECT THEIR OWN DEVELOPMENT 3OMETIMES THIS MEANS JUST GIVING
WOMEN THE MEANS TO ORGANIZE THEMSELVES n WHETHER THEY ARE SEX
WORKERS GARMENT WORKERS OR PEOPLE LIVING WITH !)$3
7!#S WORK ACKNOWLEDGES AND ATTEMPTS TO ACCOUNT FOR
BOTH THE SOCIETAL AND STRUCTURAL MANIFESTATIONS OF THE ROLE OF
FOREIGNERS AND THE WAY THEY DIRECTLY MIRROR LOCAL RELATIONS
4HUS WHETHER THE CONTEXT IS A NEOLIBERAL LENDING INSTITUTION OR
MERELY INTERACTION BETWEEN TWO PEOPLE THE DYNAMIC IS THE SAME
&RIENDSHIP ACROSS DIFFERENCE IS BEAUTIFUL AND SHOULD BE CHERISHED
!LL TOO OFTEN HOWEVER THE DYNAMIC BETWEEN 7ESTERNERS
AND #AMBODIANS HAS LITTLE TO DO WITH GENUINE hFRIENDSHIPv
&OREIGNERS WHO FORM SHORTTERM RELATIONSHIPS WITH #AMBODIANS
MIGHT THINK THERE IS NO HARM IN IT OR EVEN BELIEVE THEIR BEHAVIOR
TO BE ACTS OF BENEVOLENCE BUT THEY OFTEN INSTEAD PERPETUATE A
GLOBAL SYSTEM OF ABUSE
) DECIDED TO EMAIL (AK 3RUN TO TELL HIM THAT ) WAS SORRY
) DIDNT REALIZE HOW MUCH WORK ) WOULD HAVE AND ) DElNITELY
WOULDNT BE ABLE TO SEE HIM #ES ALWAYS GAVE ME ADVICE THAT )
DIDNT WANT TO HEAR ) WANTED HER TO TELL ME THAT ) WAS NICE FOR
BEING FRIENDLY WITH (AK 3RUN AND THAT HE WOULD SOON GET THE
IDEA )NSTEAD SHE WAS HONEST
&IVE OF A DIFFERENT COLOR
) AM NOT A -ARXIST
+ARL -ARX
'ROWING UP #ES WAS AT THE TOP OF HER CLASS AND ENDED UP AT
A SPECIAL HIGH SCHOOL FOR hSCIENTIlC GENIUSESv 3HE DIDNT ENJOY
SCIENCE ALL THAT MUCH BUT IT WAS A FULL SCHOLARSHIP TO THE MOST
PRESTIGIOUS BOARDING SCHOOL IN THE COUNTRY 3HE COULDNT REFUSE
4HE SCHOOL WAS TO PRODUCE THE TOP SCIENTISTS IN THE 0HILIPPINES
$URING HER SECOND YEAR THERE SHE JOINED STUDENT ACTIVIST CELLS
h4HAT BEGAN A SERIES OF GOING TO RALLIES DEMONSTRATIONS AND
UNDERGROUND COURSES THAT ANALYZE @THE SYSTEMˆIMPERIALISM
BUREAUCRAT CAPITALISM ALL OF THATv 3HE HAD BEEN A MEMBER OF
THE #OMMUNIST 0ARTY h4HIS WAS DURING THE -ARCOS REGIME
THE DICTATORSHIP 7E WERE UNDER MARTIAL LAW SO THE PROTEST
MOVEMENT WAS UNDERGROUND 4HE ORGANIZATION THAT WAS BEHIND
IT WAS ILLEGAL 4HAT WAS LED BY 4HE .ATIONAL $EMOCRATIC &RONT
5NDER THAT THERE WERE VARIOUS OTHER ORGANIZATIONS WHICH
INCLUDED THE #OMMUNIST 0ARTY OF THE 0HILIPPINES "ACK THEN
YOU CHOSE A SIDE 9OU WERE LEFT OR RIGHT /N THE LEFT THERE WERE
LOTS OF DIFFERENT SECTORAL ORGANIZATIONS FOR EVERYONE 4HERE WAS
ONE FOR TEACHERS ONE FOR PROFESSIONALS ONE FOR YOUTHˆ) WAS IN
THAT ONE THE .ATIONALIST 9OUTHxTHERE WAS ONE FOR THE RELIGIOUS
COMMUNITY LIBERATION THEOLOGY WAS BIGxv 3HE SPOKE OF THE 53
MILITARY PRESENCE THERE THE ONE THAT MY 'RANDFATHER CONTRIBUTED
TO DURING HIS SERVICE IN -ANILA
h7E ORGANIZED CELLS AND HAD UNDERGROUND MEETINGS 7E
TOOK IT VERY SERIOUSLY 7E HAD SECRET UNDERGROUND COURSES WITH
ASSIGNED READING AND COURSEWORK AND EVERYTHING 7E WERE VERY
COMMITTED TO UNDERSTANDING OUR SITUATION 7E WOULD DISCUSS
ISSUESxIT WAS VERY ORGANIZED AND ABSOLUTELY CLANDESTINEv #ES
LIVED A DOUBLE LIFE ONE AS A STRAIGHT ! STUDENT IN A SCHOOL FOR
THE GIFTED AND ONE AS A COVERT CELL LEADER ) ASKED IF HER PARENTS
CAUGHT ON TO HER SECRET LIFE h9ES 7ELL ) WAS JAILED WHEN ) WAS
SO HOW COULD THEY NOT KNOWv 3HE GOT ARRESTED FOR STRIKING
WITH FEMALE GARMENT WORKERS h7E WERE UP AGAINST A REPRESSIVE
DICTATORSHIP AND IMPERIAL POWER 7E WERE ON THE RIGHT SIDE WE
FELT IT )T WAS A STRUGGLEv
)N HIGH SCHOOL #ES WROTE AND DIRECTED PLAYS AND WAS ABOUT
TO BECOME CHIEF EDITOR OF THE SCHOOL NEWSPAPER 3HE HAD GAINED
QUITE A BIT OF INmUENCE 4HE ADMINISTRATION FELT THREATENED
7HEN THEY LEARNED OF ONE OF HER ARRESTS THEY KICKED HER OUT
OF SCHOOL RIGHT BEFORE SHE WAS TO ENTER HER lNAL YEAR 3UDDENLY
THE MOVEMENT DIDNT GIVE HER ANY SUPPORT SHE WAS ON HER OWN
$ISILLUSIONED SHE lNISHED HER LAST YEAR AT A #ATHOLIC SCHOOL
)N COLLEGE SHE DECIDED TO GIVE THE MOVEMENT ANOTHER SHOT
3HE JOINED THE #ENTER FOR .ATIONALIST 3TUDIES AS WELL AS A STREET
THEATER GROUP 3HE WAS INVOLVED IN OTHER ACTS OF SUBVERSION
TOO %VERYTHING FROM hLIGHTNING RALLIESvˆILLEGAL REVOLUTIONARY
DEMONSTRATIONS THAT WERE COORDINATED IN SECRET AND ENDED BEFORE
THE POLICE HAD A CHANCE TO RESPONDˆTO POLITICAL GRAFlTI !FTER HER
lRST YEAR SHE JOINED A .ATIONALIST SINGING GROUP CALLED 0ATTATAG
4HEY QUICKLY GAINED WIDE ACCLAIM AND WERE THE MOST FAMOUS
PROTEST BAND IN THE 0HILIPPINES 3HE DEDICATED THAT PART OF HER
LIFE TO THE PROGRESSIVE ARTS 3HE WAS IN THE CULTURAL MOVEMENT .O
LONGER @UNDERGROUND HER ACTIVISM WAS VISIBLE AND HIGH PROlLE
h) MEAN ) WAS SINGING IN FRONT OF HUGE DEMONSTRATIONS 9OU GOT
YOUR PICTURE TAKEN BY EVERYONE FROM JOURNALISTS TO SPIESv h7ERE
YOU AFRAID FOR YOUR LIFEv h!LWAYSv
h"UT THAT WAS A LONG TIME AGO !FTER THE SOCALLED
@0EOPLES 0OWER 2EVOLUTION #ORAZON !QUINO BECAME THE NEW
PRESIDENT AND THE LEFT GOT CONFUSED 4HE LEFT KEPT WITH THEIR RIGID
STANCE ABOUT REVOLUTION "UT EVEN WHEN THE CLIMATE WAS RIGHT FOR
AN ARMED REVOLT THEY HELD BACK "ECAUSE OF THAT THEY HAD BEEN
LEFT OUT OF THE WHOLE PEOPLES POWER THING WHICH WAS MOSTLY LED
BY TRADITIONAL POLITICIANS JUST WITH A DIFFERENT COLOR 4HEN THERE
WAS A LOT OF GRIPING WITHIN THE LEFT AND THEN CAME THE PURGES
AND SPLITS AND ALL THAT MESSY STUFF !FTER THE LEFT FELL APART THE
PROTEST MOVEMENT GOT MESSY TOO /UR SINGING GROUP STARTED TO
FADE AWAY WE FOCUSED ON OTHER THINGSxLIKE LIVING OUR LIVES )
GOT MARRIED IN A PETTY BOURGEOISIE MANNER 4HEN ) HAD A KID
4HEN ) GOT DIVORCED "UT ) KEPT WORKING FOR ORGANIZATIONS THAT
WERE STILL INVOLVED IN THE CULTURAL SIDE OF THE STRUGGLE )T WAS STILL
PROGRESSIVE THEATER AND COMMUNITY WORK BUT ) WAS OUT OF THE
FORMAL UNDERGROUND STRUCTURE ) FOUND A COMFORT ZONE WHERE )
WAS STILL ABLE TO ENGAGE IN SOCIAL CHANGE IN A FULlLLING WAY )N THE
EARLY S ) STARTED GETTING INTO MY OWN CAUSE ) INITIATED A LOT
OF ACTIVITIES AROUND RAISING AWARENESS AROUND CHILD SEXUAL ABUSE
WHICH WASNT BEING DISCUSSED BY THE LEFT AT THE TIME )T IS A HUGE
HUGE PROBLEM IN THE 0HILIPPINES AND HUGE NUMBERS OF WOMEN
ARE VICTIMS IN MY COUNTRYxAND EVERYWHERE ) DID THAT UNTIL )
LEFT FOR #AMBODIA AND DID 7!#v #ES HAD BEEN RECRUITED FOR
THE 7OMYNS !GENDA FOR #HANGE BY /XFAM (ONG +ONG AND HAS
LIVED IN #AMBODIA FOR A LITTLE OVER YEARS
(ER STORY RESONATED STRONGLY WITH MY OWN BACKGROUND
7E BOTH CAME FROM UPPERMIDDLE CLASS BOURGEOISIE FAMILIES AND
BOTH WERE PREPARED TO GIVE THAT UP FOR WHAT WE SAW AS RIGHT "OTH
RADICALIZED AT A YOUNG AGE WE EACH BECAME ACTIVE IN HIGH SCHOOLS
WHERE THERE WAS LITTLE ELSE GOING ON IN THE WAY OF POLITICAL ACTION
9ET AS MUCH AS ) FELT ) COULD RELATE HER EXPERIENCE WAS EQUALLY
ALIEN TO ME 4HROUGHOUT MY POLITICAL CONSCIOUSNESSRAISING
) IDENTIlED WITH LIBERTARIAN SOCIALISM IE ANARCHISM WHICH
REJECTS AUTHORITARIANISM IN ALL OF ITS FORMS ) HAD THOUGHT OF
#OMMUNISTS AS CULTISH CADRES OF HIERARCHICAL RIGIDITY 4HEIR QUEST
FOR POWER HAS LED TO SOME OF THE MOST HORRIlC HUMAN RIGHTS
ABUSES IN THE WORLD ,ISTENING TO #ES TALK ABOUT THE COMPLEX
INTERNAL STRUCTURE OF SECRET CELLS AND INNER CIRCLES WAS LIKE A
WINDOW INTO A WORLD ) HAD ALWAYS THOUGHT ABOUT BUT COULD
NEVER REALLY GRASP )T WAS SORT OF LIKE BEARING WITNESS TO A REAL LIFE
SPY MOVIE
)NTERNATIONAL #ENTER FOR %THICS *USTICE AND 0UBLIC ,IFE -Y REVULSION TO CONSPIRATORIAL AUTHORITARIANISM DID LITTLE
TO HAMPER MY FASCINATION WITH IT 3HE BOTH HUMANIZED -ARXIST
,ENINISM AND VALIDATED MY PERCEPTIONS OF ITS FATAL ERRORS 4HE
IMMEDIACY OF HER STORY WAS SOMETHING ) SECRETLY LONGED FOR
7HILE ) BELIEVE THAT THE EXTENSION OF 53 HEGEMONY IS ULTIMATELY
FAR WORSE FOR THE WORLD THAN THE -ARCOS DESPOTISM IN THE
0HILIPPINES THE URGENCY OF lGHTING A DICTATORSHIP IS CERTAINLY A
DIFFERENT FEELING THAN STRUGGLING AGAINST AN INDUSTRIALIZED LIBERAL
DEMOCRACY )N HER STRUGGLE THERE WAS A CLEARLY DElNED ENEMY
3OMETHING INSIDE ME WANTED THE WORLD TO SEEM BLACK AND WHITE
LIKE THAT )TS NOT THOUGH
&IGHTING FOR SOCIAL JUSTICE IN THE ST CENTURY IS CONFUSING
MESSY BUSINESS
3IX ON MOVING FORWARD
hWHEN WE lNALLY KNOW WE ARE DYING AND ALL OTHER
SENTIENT BEINGS ARE DYING WITH US WE START TO HAVE A BURNING
ALMOST HEARTBREAKING SENSE OF THE FRAGILITY AND PRECIOUSNESS OF
EACH MOMENT AND EACH BEING AND FROM THIS CAN GROW A DEEP
CLEAR LIMITLESS COMPASSION FOR ALL BEINGSv
3OGYAL 2INPOCHE
h3HES DEADv ) DIDNT KNOW WHAT #ES WAS TALKING ABOUT BUT SHE
WAS SPEAKING INTO A CELL PHONE AND ) DIDNT WANT TO INTERRUPT
) FOUND OUT THE NEXT AFTERNOON 4HE SECRETARIAT OF 7!#S SEX
WORKER COLLECTIVE 4HE 7OMENS .ETWORK FOR 5NITY HAD DIED OF
!)$3 !N !USTRALIAN INTERN NAMED +ATE WAS SOBBING %VERYONE
ELSE OSCILLATED BETWEEN BEING SOMBER AND BEINGxEMOTIONLESS
)F +ATE HADNT BEEN THERE ) WOULDNT HAVE KNOWN ANYTHING WAS
WRONG ) DIDNT HAVE ANY FRAMEWORK IN WHICH TO PLACE WHAT ) WAS
SEEING )M A PUNK ROCKER FROM THE 53 WHOSE FRIEND WORKS AS AN
UNDERTAKER ) THOUGHT ) WAS COMFORTABLE WITH THE PHENOMENON
CALLED hDEATHv .OPE
)F THE 7!# EMPLOYEES HAD BEEN EMOTIONAL ) DOUBT )
WOULD HAVE BEEN ABLE TO GRASP THE GRAVITY OF THE SITUATION &OR
THE lRST TIME ) THOUGHT ABOUT THE IMPLICATIONS OF WORKING WITH
#AMBODIAN SEX WORKERS -ANY IF NOT MOST OF THEM HAVE !)$3
3EX 7ORKER %MPOWERMENT $IRECTOR 0HOUNG HAS SEEN MOST OF
THE PEOPLE SHE HAS BEEN CLOSE WITH DIE $EATH IS EXPECTED AND
ACCEPTED $ISASTER HERE HAS BEEN NORMALIZED ON A LEVEL THAT )
AM STILL NOT QUITE CAPABLE OF CONCEIVING OF ) LOOKED TO #ES FOR
SOME SORT OF EXPLANATION h4HE FUNERAL WAS 3UNDAY 7E PAID
OUR RESPECTS 7HAT ELSE CAN WE DO 7E HAVE TO KEEP MOVING
FORWARDv !ND THEY DID
3EVEN MISSIONARIES
h) DONgT BELIEVE IN CHARITY ) BELIEVE IN SOLIDARITY #HARITY
IS SO VERTICAL )T GOES FROM THE TOP TO THE BOTTOM 3OLIDARITY IS
HORIZONTAL )T RESPECTS THE OTHER PERSON ) HAVE A LOT TO LEARN
FROM OTHER PEOPLEv
%DUARDO 'ALEANO
4HE !RT OF #OEXISTENCE%THICS AND #OEXISTENCE 3TUDENT &ELLOWS
) WENT TO 7!# IN THE AFTERNOONS EVERY DAY ) MADE MYSELF USEFUL
WHERE ) COULD ) DID RESEARCH ) HELPED WITH ART INSTALLATIONS )
HELPED ORGANIZE CONFERENCES ) CONDUCTED ORAL HISTORY INTERVIEWS
) REPAINTED THE PEELING SIGN THAT ADORNS THE TOP OF THE BOAT
4HINGS LIKE THAT 7HEN ) WASNT USEFUL ) JUST STOOD BACK AND
LEARNED ) DID A LOT OF THAT ESPECIALLY WHEN ) SPOKE TO THE OTHER
KIDS AT 7!# 3IM 3OCHEATA WAS JUST A COUPLE OF YEARS OLDER THAN
ME AND WE CONSTANTLY DISCUSSED THE PARALLELS AND DIFFERENCES IN
OUR EXPERIENCES AS YOUTH ACTIVISTS
7E OFTEN TALKED ABOUT !MERICA h9OU KNOW EVERYONE TALKS
ABOUT THE 5NITED 3TATES BEING THIS WONDERFUL PLACE TO LIVE BUT
) DONT THINK THATS TRUEv ) ASKED WHY h) HAVE NEVER BEEN THERE
BUT ) KNOW MANY PEOPLE WHO HAVE 4HEY GO THERE FOR MONEY
OPPORTUNITIES -OST PEOPLE HERE WOULD DIE FOR THE CHANCE TO GET
TO GO OVER THERE "UT THEY GO THERE EXPECTING TO BE RICH LIKE ON
THE 46 4HEY DONT REALIZE THAT THEY GET PAID MORE MONEY BUT
ALSO LIFE THERE IS SO MUCH MORE EXPENSIVE TOO 3O THEY GET A BAD
JOB AND TRY TO MAKE MONEY TO SEND HOME TO THEIR FAMILY 4HEY
BARELY CAN AFFORD TO )TS LIKE A PUNISHMENT ALMOST THEY HAVE TO
GO THERE TO SEND MONEY TO THEIR FAMILY 4HEN THEY COME BACK
9OU KNOW FOR MANY +HMER PEOPLE THE 53 IS LIKE PRISONv
h7HAT DOES YOUR FAMILY THINK ABOUT YOUR ACTIVISMv
3OCHEATAS EYEBROWS ARCHED ) SHRUGGED AND REPLIED h4HEYRE
SUPPORTIVE BUT ) DONT THINK THEY REALLY UNDERSTAND THE
IMPLICATIONS OF WHAT )M DOINGv h7ELL MINE DONT UNDERSTAND
WHAT )M DOING AT ALLv h(OW SOv ) ASKED 3HE ELABORATED h) TRY
TO TALK ABOUT THE )RAQ WAR OR WOMENS RIGHTS AND MY FATHER GETS
VERY UPSET (E PRACTICALLY DOESNT LET ME OUT OF THE HOUSE WITHOUT
AN ESCORT (E WOULDNT EVEN LET ME STAY AT MY FRIENDS BIRTHDAY
PARTY THE OTHER NIGHT BECAUSE ) WOULD COME HOME AFTER DARKv )
ASKED h$OES HE KNOW THAT YOUD GO OUT AT NIGHT WHEN YOU WERE
ON THAT PROGRAM IN 'ENEVAv h.O MY PARENTS DONT CARE WHAT )
DO IF )M NOT IN THEIR HOUSEv h)T WORKS THE SAME WAY IN THE 53
-OST KIDS GO TO COLLEGE AND THEIR PARENTS DONT CHECK UP ON THEM
LIKE THEY DO WHEN THEY GO BACK HOMEv ) SAID 3HE REPLIED THAT
HER SITUATION WAS @DIFFERENT ) ASSURED HER THAT IT WASNT REALLY ALL
THAT DIFFERENT ) WAS WELL ACCUSTOMED TO TALKING TO VARIOUS YOUNG
ACTIVISTS ABOUT CHALLENGING THE ORTHODOX BELIEFS OF THEIR FAMILIES
.O THIS IS DIFFERENT SHE INSISTED ) HEARD HER BUT ) WASNT
LISTENING
)T WAS DIFFERENT 0ARENTS IN THE 5NITED 3TATES HAVE BEEN
CONDITIONED BY THREE WAVES OF FEMINIST THOUGHT h#ONSERVATIVEv
MEANT SOMETHING QUITE DIFFERENT FOR FAMILIES IN 0HNOM 0ENH
#AMBODIA THAN IT DID IN 7ILTON #ONNECTICUT 3OCHEATA HAD SAID
h4HEY SUPPORT WHAT ) AM DOING BECAUSE ) HAVE A SALARY HERE ) HAVE
A FUTURE "UT THEY DONT UNDERSTAND AND ) STOPPED MAKING THEM
TRY TO UNDERSTANDv ) REALIZED THE SIGNIlCANCE OF HER WORDS LATER
THE NEXT DAY )T WAS PM 'OING TO THE GYM IN THE -I #ASA
(OTEL HAD ALREADY BECOME A PART OF MY DAILY ROUTINE 3WEAT TOWEL
IN MY LEFT HAND AND $ISCMAN IN MY RIGHT ) PUSHED THE DOOR OPEN
WITH MY SHOULDER JUST IN TIME TO AVOID FALLING mAT ON MY FACE !S
) HAD LEANED IN SOMEONE ON THE OTHER SIDE PULLED OPEN THE DOOR
THROWING ME OFF BALANCE ) LOOKED UP TO MEET THE GAZE OF *OAN A
WOMAN ) HAD MET SEVERAL WEEKS AGO AT A #IVIL 3OCIETY #ONVENTION
AT THE "UDDHIST )NSTITUTE 7E EXCHANGED CURSORY hHELLOSv AND )
HEADED FOR THE ELLIPTICAL MACHINE THINKING ABOUT MY EXPERIENCE AT
THAT CONFERENCE WITH HER /NE OF THE LECTURES ) HAD ATTENDED THERE
BROUGHT 3OCHEATAS COMMENTS INTO FULL RELIEF
! 3RI ,ANKAN WOMAN NAMED (EMA 'ONATILAKE WAS SPEAKING
ABOUT THE NEED FOR RADICAL PROGRESSIVE CHANGE IN 3OUTHEAST !SIA IN
GENERAL AND #AMBODIA IN PARTICULAR 3HE EMPHASIZED SKEPTICISM
OF 7ESTERN .'/S AND A NEED TO ROOT TRANSFORMATIONAL FEMINIST
POLITICS IN INDIGENOUS INSTITUTIONS 3HE POINTED TOWARD 3ANGHA
AS AN EXAMPLE OF SUCH AN INSTITUTION 3ANGHA IS A "UDDHIST TERM
THAT OFTEN REFERS TO A COMMUNITY OF MONKS AND NUNS 'ONATILAKE
WAS REFERRING TO #AMBODIAN COMMUNITIES DATING BACK TO ROUGHLY
"# !CCORDING TO 'ONATILAKE SUCH SOCIETIES EMBODY THE
PRINCIPLES OF JUSTICE hWEv RADICALS PROGRESSIVES FEMINISTS ETC
STRIVE FOR )T CAUGHT MY ATTENTION BECAUSE HER DESCRIPTION USED
JUST ABOUT EVERY PIECE OF ANARCHIST TERMINOLOGY AND RHETORIC THAT
) AM FAMILIAR WITH 3ANGHA CIVIL LIFE REVOLVED AROUND THE PAGODA
WHICH FUNCTIONED AS A BODY TO REGULATE hCONSENSUS DECISION
MAKINGv hPARTICIPATORY DEMOCRACYv hDIRECT DEMOCRACYv AND
hMUTUAL AIDv 4HIS SOCIAL STRUCTURE EVEN BOASTED FULL GENDER
EQUALITY UNTIL THE GRADUAL DISAPPEARANCE OF WOMENS INSTITUTIONS
LIKE FEMALE MONKHOOD ETC ) WOULD LATER DISCOVER THAT THE
ECONOMICS OF 3ANGHA ARE PROFOUNDLY ANTICAPITALIST n THEY
FUNCTION ON AN ECONOMY OF GIFTS 3ANGHA GIFT ECONOMIES )M
SURE WERE THE INSPIRATION FOR 7ESTERN DISCOURSE LIKE -ICHAEL
!LPERTS 0ARECON %VEN 'ONATILAKES RHETORIC OF AUTONOMY WAS IN
THE ANARCHIST TRADITION h0EOPLE MUST SAVE THEMSELVES BY THEIR
OWN EFFORTv
'ONATILAKES LECTURE DIDNT JUST CAPTURE MY FASCINATION
BECAUSE SHE WAS DESCRIBING AN ANCIENT #AMBODIAN ANARCHIST
SOCIETY )T WAS INTRIGUING SPECIlCALLY BECAUSE IT WAS THIS TYPE
OF SOCIAL STRUCTURE THAT SOMEHOW EVOLVED INTO WHAT WE SEE
AS #AMBODIAN ORTHODOXY TODAY #AMBODIA IS NOW RIGIDLY
HIERARCHICAL TO THE POINT WHERE SEVERAL DIFFERENT LEVELS OF
HIERARCHY ARE WRITTEN INTO THE LANGUAGE ITSELF +HMER DOESNT JUST
USE hFORMALv WORDS TO SPEAK TO ELDERS /NE USES ENTIRELY DIFFERENT
LANGUAGE WHEN SPEAKING TO A PRINCE OR A MONK OR AN ELDER OR
A CHILD 3OCHEATA WAS TRYING TO TELL ME THAT IT IS ONE THING TO
CHALLENGE AUTHORITARIANISM AND MALE RULE IN A LIBERAL DEMOCRACY
LIKE THE 5NITED 3TATES BUT QUITE ANOTHER TO DO SO IN AN
CRUMBLING OLIGARCHY SUCH AS EXISTS IN CONTEMPORARY #AMBODIA
.OT ONLY DO HIERARCHY AND PATRIARCHY MANIFEST THEMSELVES IN
VASTLY DIFFERENT WAYS IN EACH CONTEXT BUT MISOGYNY IN #AMBODIA
IS NECESSARILY BOUND UP WITH ISSUES OF CONTROL AND DOMINATION
LEFT FROM A LEGACY OF COLONIALISM AND GENOCIDE
#AMBODIAN HISTORY IS THE NARRATIVE OF @THE OUTSIDER COMING
IN EXPLOITING RESOURCES AND IMPOSING CULTURAL NORMS 4HE MOST
APPARENT EXAMPLE OF THIS DYNAMIC OF DOMINATION IS IN THEIR HISTORY
OF &RENCH COLONIALISM 4O THIS DAY SOME 7ESTERNERS STILL REFER TO
THE REGION AS h&RENCH )NDOCHINAv 4HE DYNAMIC IS ALSO PRESENT
IN A LONG HISTORY OF IMPERIALISM ON THE PART OF MISSIONARIES )T
MANIFESTS ITSELF BOTH HISTORICAL AND CONTEMPORARY RELATIONS WITH THE
6IETNAMESE AND 4HAIS 7HETHER IT BE OUTRIGHT MILITARY INVASION
OR LIBERATION CULTURAL TENSION OR ECONOMIC DOMINATION THE
DYNAMIC IS THE SAME %VEN THE
4HE QUESTION AS ) HAD
+HMER 2OUGE WAS INSPIRED BY
AN IMPORTED DISTORTION OF ,ENIN
FRAMED IT IN MY HEAD
-AO-ARX7HATEVER)SM THAT
WAS AS FOLLOWS WAS IT
0OL 0OT ABSORBED WHILE STUDYING
IN %UROPE )N CONTEMPORARY
APPROPRIATE FOR 7ESTERN
#AMBODIA THE LOCAL +HMER
CULTURE IS RARELY CULTIVATED
ACTIVISTS TO GO TO OTHER
NOURISHED OR EVEN ACKNOWLEDGED
RARELY HAVE THERE BEEN CONDITIONS
COUNTRIES AND SUBVERT
IN WHICH THE +HMER SOCIETY HAS
HAD THE OPPORTUNITY TO DEVELOP
WHAT ARE OFTEN THE
ACCORDING TO ITS OWN PROCESSES
AND IMPERATIVES
INSTITUTIONAL BUILDING
)T IS AGAINST THE BACKDROP
OF AN UNDERSTANDING OF THE
BLOCKS OF THEIR CULTURE
EXTENSIVE LEGACY OF DOMINATION
BY OUTSIDERS THAT ) QUESTIONED
THE APPROACH OF MANY WESTERN
.'/S IN #AMBODIA AND 7!# IN PARTICULARxAND OF COURSE MY
OWN ROLE IN THE MIX ) PEDALED FASTER ON THE ELLIPTICAL MACHINE
) GUESS ONE GOOD THING ABOUT GLOBALIZATION IS THAT IT CREATES
THE NEED TO DEAL WITH IDENTITY POLITICS ) LOOKED AROUND AT ALL
THE OTHER WHITE FACES IN THE GYM %VERYONE WHO WENT THERE WAS
EITHER AN AID WORKER OR SOME GRIMY NEOLIBERAL INVESTOR 7HAT WAS
) DOING IN #AMBODIA 7ELL ) HAD A VISION OF A JUST SOCIETY AND
) WANTED TO ACT ON IT 4HIS VISION CAME FROM A 7ESTERN IDEOLOGY
CALLED hFEMINISMvˆRADICAL FEMINISM AT THAT 4HIS IDEOLOGY
CHALLENGES SOCIAL INSTITUTIONS THAT COULD BE SEEN AS FUNDAMENTAL
ASPECTS OF CONTEMPORARY #AMBODIAN SOCIETY HIERARCHY AND
PATRIARCHY INCLUDED ) HAD STRUGGLED WITH THESE QUESTIONS BEFORE
ACCEPTING THE FELLOWSHIP BUT ACTUALLY LIVING THEM IN PRACTICE
COMPLICATED THINGS MORE THAN ) COULD HAVE IMAGINED
) WAS GOING AROUND THE WORLD MESSING WITH OTHER PEOPLES
CULTURES IN ACCORDANCE WITH MY DElNITION OF hJUSTICEv !N
%THIOPIAN PEACEBUILDER NAMED (IZKIAS !SSEFA WOULD LATER TELL
ME h9OU KNOW WHAT OTHER 7ESTERN TRAVELERS WENT AROUND THE
WORLD UPROOTING CULTURES IN THE NAME OF WHAT THEY BELIEVED WAS
RIGHT -ISSIONARIESv *UST WHO EXACTLY DID ) THINK ) WAS 7HAT
WAS 7!#S REAL ROLE IN #AMBODIAN SOCIETY #OULD THEY BE DOING
MORE HARM THAN GOOD 3WEAT WAS SLIDING DOWN MY FACE SLOWLY )
DIDNT WIPE IT OFF ) LET IT GRADUALLY RIDE THE CONTOURS OF MY CHEEKS
DOWN TO MY CHIN DRIPPING OFF ONTO THE mOOR 7HAT THEN CAN
DISTINGUISH 7ESTERN ACTIVISTS FROM MISSIONARIES ) THOUGHT FOR A
MINUTE AND DECIDED THAT THE MOST APPARENT ANSWER WAS IN HOW
ACTIVISTS CONSTRUCT THEIR WORK AND HOW THEY ARE RECEIVED BY THE
COMMUNITIES THEY ARE ACTIVE IN )F THE OUTSIDER IS WELCOMED INTO
THE COMMUNITY AS AN AGENT OF SOCIAL CHANGE THEN ONE COULD
HARDLY CONSTRUCT IT AS AN IMPOSITION ) LOOKED UP AT THE CLOCK
AND THOUGHT @9EAHxTHE .ATIVE !MERICANS WELCOMED %UROPEAN
EXPLORERS AT lRST TOO )T WAS GETTING LATE
) REASONED FURTHER #ULTURE IS NOT STAGNANT 4O LOCATE CERTAIN
ASPECTS OF CULTURE LIKE HIERARCHY PATRIARCHY ETC AS UNCHANGEABLE
CONSTANTS IS TO MISUNDERSTAND THE WAY HUMAN SOCIETIES DEVELOP
)NTERNATIONAL #ENTER FOR %THICS *USTICE AND 0UBLIC ,IFE AND CHANGˆINDEED IT IS TO MISUNDERSTAND WHAT CULTURES ARE
#ULTURES ARE INTERACTIVE 4HEY ARE FORGED THROUGH BOTH INTERCULTURAL
AND INTRACULTURAL STRUGGLE 3ONG )F MOVEMENTS FOR SOCIAL CHANGE
OCCUR WITHIN A GIVEN SOCIETY ONE WOULD BE HARD PRESSED TO ARGUE
THAT THE RESULT IS NOT hAUTHENTICv CULTURE 4HEREFORE IF MY ACTIVISM
AS A 7ESTERNER IS NOT ACTING FOR PEOPLE BUT IN SOLIDARITY WITH THEM
THE WORK IS LEGITIMATE 2IGHT )T WAS PM 4IME TO TAKE A
SHOWER AND EAT SOME 3ALOR +O 3AP SOUP BEFORE GOING TO 7!#
4HAT EVENING 2OSANNA AND ) WERE SITTING ON THE COUCH ON
THE BOAT h2O DO YOU THINK BEING COMMITTED TO FEMINISM AND
BEING COMMITTED TO MULTICULTURALISM ARE TWO MUTUALLY EXCLUSIVE
POSITIONSv h7HAT DO YOU MEANv h7ELL DONT YOU FEEL LIKE
IMPOSING 7ESTERN IDEAS OF JUSTICE ON #AMBODIA IN THE INTERESTS
OF SUBVERTING TRADITIONAL CULTURE IS LIKE CULTURAL IMPERIALISMv )
WANTED TO KNOW WHY WE THOUGHT IT WAS OKAY TO lGHT NEOLIBERAL
ECONOMIC GLOBALIZATION BUT NOT IDEOLOGICAL GLOBALIZATION h)VE
HEARD THAT CRITIQUE A LOT AND ) THINK ITS RIDICULOUSv SHE SHOT
BACK h4HE NOTION THAT CERTAIN IDEAS CAN ONLY BELONG TO CERTAIN
PEOPLE IS RACIST *UST BECAUSE SOME IDEAS WERE DEVELOPED IN THE
7EST DOESNT MEAN THAT THEY CANT BE ADOPTED BY OTHER PEOPLE
(OW FUCKING CONDESCENDINGv
) NODDED 4HE IDEA THAT THE 7EST NECESSARILY HAS A
MONOPOLY ON FEMINISM IS IN AND OF ITSELF ETHNOCENTRIC )T IGNORES
THE VAST HISTORY OF WOMENS STRUGGLES THROUGHOUT THE GLOBAL
SOUTH ESPECIALLY IN ,ATIN !MERICA AND !SIA 3OME FEMINISMS
WERE DEVELOPED IN THE 7EST SOME WERE NOT !FTER FURTHER
CONSIDERATION ) COLLAPSED MY CONCERNS INTO A SINGLE PROBLEM
4HE QUESTION AS ) HAD FRAMED IT IN MY HEAD WAS AS FOLLOWS
WAS IT APPROPRIATE FOR 7ESTERN ACTIVISTS TO GO TO OTHER COUNTRIES
AND SUBVERT WHAT ARE OFTEN THE INSTITUTIONAL BUILDING BLOCKS
OF THEIR CULTURE 3PECIlCALLY DO .'/S WITH FEMINIST AGENDAS
HAVE A LEGITIMATE CLAIM TO THEIR GOALS OF ABOLISHING HIERARCHY
AND PATRIARCHY BOTH OF WHICH SEEM FUNDAMENTALLY INGRAINED IN
+HMER CULTURE
.OT SURPRISINGLY ) WAS UNABLE TO lND ANY ANSWERS DURING
MY TIME IN #AMBODIA 4HE QUESTION IN OF ITSELF WAS SO THICKLY
LADEN WITH UNEXAMINED ASSUMPTIONS THAT IT PERHAPS IN OF
ITSELF EMBODIED THE 7ESTERN PATERNALISM ) WISHED TO EXAMINE
7ORKING THROUGH AN ANALYSIS OF WHY MY FRAMEWORK WAS ITSELF
BANKRUPT ) FOUND PUSHED ME TOWARD SOME OF THE ANSWERS )
SOUGHT
) HAD ASSUMED A CONSTRUCTION OF THE h7ESTv AS EMBODYING
PROGRESSIVE FEMINIST VALUES AND THE h%ASTv AS DOMINATED
BY THOUSAND YEAR OLD PATRIARCHAL TRADITIONS !CCEPTING THIS
NOTION AT FACE VALUE ) THEN QUESTIONED WHETHER OR NOT IT WAS
hCULTURAL IMPERIALISMv TO TRANSPLANT THESE VALUES FROM THE
7EST TO THE %AST "UT TO ESSENTIALIZE #AMBODIAN VALUES AS
hPATRIARCHALv AND 7ESTERN VALUES AS SOMEHOW MORE EGALITARIAN
IS TO GROSSLY MISCHARACTERIZE THE TWO CULTURES +HMER USED TO
HAVE TRANSSEXUALITY WRITTEN INTO ITS LANGUAGE UNTIL 7ESTERN
MISSIONARIES CAME REMEMBER 7E CANNOT IGNORE THE WAY THAT
#AMBODIA HAS ALREADY BEEN SHAPED BY THE 7EST
3INCE THE IMPOSITION OF NEOLIBERAL POLICIES ON #AMBODIA
ONCESUBSISTENCE FARM WORK NOW LEAVES FAMILIES DESTITUTE
4HE !RT OF #OEXISTENCE%THICS AND #OEXISTENCE 3TUDENT &ELLOWS
$ESPITE THE MYRIAD OF DIFFERENT CIRCUMSTANCES THAT BRING SEX
WORKERS TO CITIES ALMOST ALL CAN BE TRACED BACK IN ONE WAY
OR ANOTHER TO THIS lNANCIAL DESPERATION )N HIGHLIGHTING WAYS
IN WHICH ECONOMIC MODELS FROM THE OUTSIDE CULTIVATE THE SEX
TRADE ) DO NOT INTEND TO REINFORCE STEREOTYPES OF SEX WORKERS AS
VICTIMS )NDEED ONE OF THE REASONS 7!# IS SO SUCCESSFUL IS THAT
THEY RECOGNIZE THAT SEX WORK IS WORK AND THESE WORKING WOMEN
SHOULD BE TREATED WITH THE DIGNITY AND RESPECT THEY DESERVE
4HERE IS NOTHING hIMMORALv OR INHERENTLY WRONG WITH THEIR
PROFESSION 4HIS HOWEVER DOES NOT OBSCURE THE ABUSIVE AND
OPPRESSIVE CONDITIONS THESE WOMEN WORK IN 4HE #AMBODIAN SEX
INDUSTRY CAN SURELY BE UNDERSTOOD AS A DEVASTATING MANIFESTATION
OF PATRIARCHY IN +HMER SOCIETY 4HIS ABUSE CANNOT BE THOUGHT
OF IN A VACUUM 4HE DYNAMICS THAT ALLOW IT TO EXIST ARE LARGELY
SHAPED BY OUTSIDE FORCES THE SEX TRADE IN #AMBODIA IS IN MANY
WAYS A DIRECT RESPONSE TO 7ESTERN ECONOMICS
-ORE THAN MERELY BRINGING YOUNG GIRLS TO THE CITY OUT OF
DESPERATION OUTSIDERS HAVE A HAND IN CREATING THE VERY PATTERNS
OF ABUSE AS WELL ) WOULD LATER READ UP ON THIS NOTION )T IS
EXPLAINED BY #HINESE FEMINIST -INGYAN ,AI THAT hTHE LOSS OF
NATIONAL CONTROL OVER THE MEANS AND ENDS OF PRODUCTION ;IS
DISPLACED= ONTO A CULTURALMORAL REALM OF PATRIARCHAL CONTROL
OVER THE CONDUCT OF WOMENv ,AI 3HE POSITS THAT MALE
DOMINATION OF WOMEN IN GENERAL IN MANY DEVELOPING COUNTRIES
IS THE DIRECT EXPRESSION OF A DESIRE TO REESTABLISH THE CONTROL LOST
IN OTHER REALMS OF SOCIETY 4HUS PRACTICES hWEv WESTERNERS SEE
AS CULTURALLY INDIGENOUS MAY INDEED mOW DIRECTLY IN RESPONSE
TO AN IMPOSITION OF THE INSTITUTIONS OF GLOBAL CAPITALISM 4HIS
CAN INCLUDE ANYTHING FROM EXPLOITATIVE SEX WORK TO DOMESTIC
VIOLENCE TO BAUK ,AI CONTINUES h;4HOSE WHO CONTROL A
SOCIETY= IMAGINE THAT ONCE THE TRADITIONAL PATRIARCHAL ORDER
IS RESTORED AND MEN RESUME THEIR RIGHTFUL PLACE AS BENEVOLENT
FATHERS POWERFUL HUSBANDS AND lLIAL SONS THE NATION WILL ALSO
REGAIN CONTROL IF ITS OWN DESTINY AND PUT UP RESISTANCE AGAINST
NEOCOLONIAL DOMINATION FROM FOREIGN CAPITALIST POWERSv ,AI 4O CONSTRUCT A CULTURAL RELATIONSHIP AS hENLIGHTENED PROGRESSIVE
7ESTERN GENDER EQUALITY VS %ASTERN REGRESSIVE PATRIARCHYv IS
SIMPLY IGNORANT "UT IF ) REJECT THE MINDSET THAT FEMINISM IS
INHERENTLY A 7ESTERN IMPOSITION ON OTHER CULTURES ) MUST lND
SOME OTHER WAY TO DISTINGUISH PARTICULAR FEMINISMS AND FEMINISTS
THAT ACT AS @IMPERIALISTIC FORCES FROM THOSE THAT DO NOT
) REmECTED ON MY EARLIER THOUGHTS #ULTURES HAVE ALWAYS
SHARED IDEAS AND PRACTICES WITH ONE ANOTHER 4HIS SHARING
HOWEVER BECOMES DOMINATIVEˆWHAT )M CALLING hCULTURAL
IMPERIALISMvˆWHEN THERE IS A POWER IMBALANCE BETWEEN
PARTICIPANTS 4HERE IS CERTAINLY A POWER IMBALANCE BETWEEN
7ESTERN AND #AMBODIAN CULTURE
/NE OF THE MANY WAYS THIS CONSTRUCTION OF POWER IS REmECTED
IS THROUGH IMAGE AND REPRESENTATION #AMBODIANS MIGHT NOT
HAVE FOOD BUT AT LEAST THEY HAVE -46 AND "RITNEY 3PEARS WHOSE
IMAGE ADORNS THE FRONT OF SEVERAL HAIR SALONS IN 0HNOM 0ENH
!S A WHITE PERSON ) WAS ASSUMED RICH ) REPRESENTED WEALTH AND
OPPORTUNITY ) WAS AN EXTENSION OF THE 5NITED 3TATES -OST OF
THE ACTIVISTS ) MET HATED THE 53 %VERYONE ELSE REVERED IT )MAGE
AND REPRESENTATION ARE SOME OF THE MANY WAYS THAT THIS DISPARATE
CONSTRUCTION OF POWER IS REmECTED TO AND ASSIMILATED INTO OTHER
CULTURES
/NE NIGHT ) WENT OUT TO EAT WITH $AN AND HIS FRIEND $INH
7E SAT DOWN AND ) SOON FOUND MYSELF IN A CONVERSATION WITH A
YOUNG MAN AT ANOTHER TABLE 7E WERE APPROACHED BY A BEGGAR
TO WHOM ) GAVE SOME NOODLES 4HE MAN LATER SAID h)T MUST BE
WONDERFUL LIVING IN A COUNTRY WHERE THERE ARE NO BEGGARSv )
CHUCKLED AND ASSURED HIM THAT WE DO HAVE BEGGARS IN THE 5NITED
3TATES h.O YOU DONT 4HE 53 IS A DEVELOPED COUNTRYv h4HAT
IS TRUE BUT POVERTY STILL EXISTS )N FACT IT IS GROWING MORE AND
MORE EVERY DAY IN MY COUNTRYv (E mATLY STATED h.O IT DOESNTv
h,OOK )M FROM THERE ) PROMISE YOU ) SEE BEGGARS IN "OSTON EVERY
DAYv 2EFUSING TO BACK DOWN HE COLDLY REPLIED h9OU ARE LYING TO
MEv /UR CONVERSATION WAS OVER
)T IS DIFlCULT TO IMAGINE A MORE IMAGECONSCIOUS FOREIGN
POLICY THAN THAT OF THE 5NITED 3TATES 4HE !MERICAN %MBASSY IN
0HNOM 0ENH IS IN THE PROCESS OF BEING REBUILT .OTHINGS WRONG
WITH IT THEY JUST FELT THAT IT WOULD BE A GOOD USE OF MONEY TO TEAR
IT DOWN AND REBUILD IT AGAIN 4HE NEW EMBASSY WILL LOOK JUST LIKE
ANY OTHER EMBASSY ON THE OUTSIDE IT WILL BE FRIENDLY AND INVITING
/N THE INSIDE PAST THE FACADE WILL BE A BOMBPROOF MILITARIZED
COMPOUND BIG ENOUGH TO PROTECT ALL THE !MERICAN %XPATS IN CASE
OF TERRORISM OR SOMETHING TO MY KNOWLEDGE THERE HASNT BEEN ANY
ANTI!MERICAN TERRORISM IN THE AREA SINCE THE +2 ERA 7HETHER
MICROCOSM OR METAPHOR A FRIENDLYLOOKING OUTSIDE CONCEALING A
MILITARIZED SECURITYOBSESSED INSIDE SURE DOES FEEL A LOT LIKE HOME
#OMING BACK FROM THE RIVER HOUSE #ES POINTED TO THE
EMBASSY 2OSANNA SAID h) TALK TO PEOPLE AND SAY @7HY DO
YOU LIKE THE !MERICANS 9OU HARBOR SO MUCH HATRED FOR THE
6IETNAMESE AND SO MUCH ADORATION FOR ANYTHING FROM THE
53! 4HE !MERICANS BOMBED YOUR VILLAGES AND DESTROYED YOUR
INFRASTRUCTURE 4HE 6IETNAMESE LIBERATED YOU FROM 0OL 0OTx
LIBERATED YOU FROM YOURSELVESv
%IGHT HOLOCAUST
h+ILLAS BE AMONGST YOU AND YOU DONT HAVE A CLUEv
n -AD ,ION
0OL 0OT MIGHT BE PHYSICALLY DEAD BUT HIS LEGACY IS EVERYWHERE
IN #AMBODIA 4HE REMNANTS OF THE +HMER 2OUGE ARE ALIVEx
POSSIBLY LITERALLY ACROSS THE STREET FROM WHERE ) LIVED )NGRID ONCE
POINTED OUT THAT h4HE +HMER 2OUGE OPERATED THROUGH SHEER
MANPOWER n THERE WERE HUNDREDS OF THOUSANDS OF PEOPLE IN ITS
RANKS 7HERE DID THEY GO 4HEY DIDNT DISAPPEAR 4HEYRE HERE
9OUR MOTORBIKE TAXI DRIVER COULD HAVE BEEN AN ACCOMPLICE TO
MASS MURDERv 7HEN MOST #AMBODIANS TALK ABOUT 0OL 0OT IT IS
IN A VAGUE UNSPECIlED SENSE #AMBODIAN CHILDREN HAVE ALMOST NO
KNOWLEDGE OF THAT ERA )TS CERTAINLY NOT TAUGHT IN SCHOOLS 3OME
ADULTS LIKE 6UTHY HAVE BEEN TRAUMATIZED TO THE POINT WHERE THE
MENTION OF A REFUGEE CAMP MAKES HIS HAIR STAND ON END ) ASKED
IF WE COULD SPEAK ABOUT HIS EXPERIENCES (E DECLINED COVERED IN
GOOSEBUMPS
0RY 0HALLAY 0HOUNG IS ONE OF THE RARE AND EXCEPTIONAL PEOPLE
WHO FEELS COMFORTABLE SPEAKING ABOUT HER LIFE OPENLY ) HAD THE
PRIVILEGE OF CONDUCTING AN ORAL HISTORY INTERVIEW WITH HER ONE
AFTERNOON 7E SPOKE FOR SEVERAL HOURS
/N !PRIL TH A TEENAGE 0HOUNG WAS LIVING IN
0HNOM 0ENH WITH HER FAMILY 4HE +HMER 2OUGE CAPTURED
THE CITY AND EVACUATED IT UNDER THE PRETENSE OF APPROACHING
!MERICAN BOMBERS 4HREE OF HER BROTHERS HEADED TO STAY WITH
HER AUNT AND SHE WENT WITH HER PARENTS AND SIX OTHER SIBLINGS
TO THE RURAL +OMPOT 0ROVINCE h7E THOUGHT MY GRANDMOTHER
AND GRANDFATHER WOULD BE THERE "UT WE HAD TO LIVE IN 4A #AO
0ROVINCE FOR THREE MONTHS BEFORE WE COULD GET TO +OMPOT
h7HEN WE lRST WENT TO STAY IN 4A #AO IT WAS THE DRY SEASON
AND THERE WAS NO WORK TO DO 7E SPENT ALL OF OUR TIME TO lND
FOOD 7E WALKED KILOMETER TO lND WATER 7E WOULD PICK GRASS
TO EAT AND BRING A BASKET TO TRY TO GET ONE OR TWO SMALL lSH -AYBE
WE COULD MAKE SOUP WITH A SMALL lSH AND MAYBE WE COULD lND
A VEGETABLE 7E WOULD KEEP THE SHELL ,ATER WE WOULD POUND RICE
INTO A POWDER AND PUT THE POWDER IN THE SHELL TO MAKE IT LIKE
mESHv 0HOUNG AND HER FAMILY OFTEN FOUND INNOVATIVE WAYS TO
MAKE DIFFERENT KINDS OF FOOD AND PRETEND THAT IT WAS hREALv
h,ATER THEY MADE US WORK IN THE lELDS ) HAD ONE SMALL
SMALL SISTER AND ONE YOUNG BROTHER AND THEY STAYED AT HOME -Y
MOTHER FATHER ME AND MY SISTER ALL HAD TO WORK IN THE lELDS
7E WERE IN 4A #AO FOR THREE MONTHS 7E REQUESTED FROM THE
CHIEFS OF THE COMMUNES MANY MANY TIMES TO LEAVE 4HEY LET
US LEAVE AFTER THREE MONTHS 4HEY MADE US WALK FROM 4A #AO
TO +AMPOT PROVINCE "UT WHEN WE GOT TO +AMPOT THE SOLDIERS
WOULD NOT LET US STAY IN OUR OLD VILLAGE 4HEY MADE US GO TO THE
FOREST
h4HEY WANTED TO lND OUT WHO ARE THE RICH PEOPLE 7HO
ARE THE PEOPLE FROM THE CITY &OR ME THEY ASKED ME MANY TIMES
@9OU COME FROM THE CITY ) TELL THEM ) COME FROM 0HNOM
0ENH @7HAT IS YOUR FATHERS JOB ) TELL THEM THAT MY FATHER IS A
SELLER (E SELLS THE BREAD "UT THEY DONT BELIEVE ME ) SAY ) HAVE
lVE SIBLINGS AND MY FATHER IS VERY POOR (E DOESNT WORK IN THE
GOVERNMENTv ) ASKED IF THAT WAS TRUE h.O IT WAS NOT TRUE BUT IT
IS WHAT ) HAD TO SAY 4HEY STILL DIDNT BELIEVE ME ) SAID @IF ) WERE
RICH PEOPLE MY FACE WOULD NOT LOOK LIKE THISv 0HOUNG POINTED
TO THE SEVERE BURN SCARIlCATION COVERING HER NECK AND FACE h"UT
THEY DIDNT BELIEVE ME BECAUSE MY OTHER SKIN WAS TOO SOFT THEY
SAIDv )N POSTREVOLUTIONARY #AMBODIA CALLOUSFREE SKIN OR
GLASSES WERE THE LITMUS TEST FOR AFmUENCE !FmUENCE WAS GROUNDS
FOR EXECUTION h"UT ) REMEMBERED WHAT MY MOM TOLD ME 3HE
SAID @$O NOT TELL ANYBODY ANYTHING ABOUT THE FAMILY IF YOU ARE
TAKEN AWAY 3AY WE ARE POOR AND SELL BREAD !ND AT THAT TIME )
HAD THE BLUE UNIFORM FOR A STUDENT ) SAVED IT SO THAT IF PEOPLE
CAME TO STOP THIS REGIME ) COULD WEAR IT AND PROVE TO THEM ) WAS
NOT +HMER 2OUGE ) WAS DIFFERENT FROM THEM
h7E WORKED IN THE RICE lELDS AT DAYTIME 7E PLANTED RICE
!T NIGHTTIME WE CARRIED WOOD AND ROCKS TO MAKE A DAM ,ONG
LONG MANY KILOMETER DAMˆWE HAD TO HIKE VERY FAR 4HEN THEY
TOOK ME AND MY SISTER FROM MY FAMILY 4HEY MADE THE YOUTH GO
LIVE IN THE MOUNTAINS 7E WERE @MOBILE LABOR
)NTERNATIONAL #ENTER FOR %THICS *USTICE AND 0UBLIC ,IFE h4HERE WAS A SHELTER FOR THE GIRLS AND SHELTER FOR THE MENv
0HOUNG AND HER PEERS WERE DIVIDED INTO GROUPS OF EACH GROUP
HAVING ITS OWN +HMER 2OUGE OVERSEER CALLED A #HIEF 4HE ONLY
POSSESSIONS SHE HAD WERE THE BLUE UNIFORM AND HER MOTHERS RING
h/NE DAY THEY SEARCHED EVERYTHING WE HAD 4HEY FOUND THE RING
AND FOUND THE UNIFORM 4HE #HIEFS ASKED TO USE THEM ) SAID YES
3HE TOOK MY RING ) DID NOT HAVE TROUBLE BECAUSE SHE STOLE IT SO
SHE WAS HAPPY
h7E WORKED ALL DAY AND NIGHT 4HE FOOD THEY DID NOT
HAVE MUCH FOR US 3OMETIMES WE WOULD HAVE MORNING GLORY
OR WATER LILY 7E WOULD TAKE FROM THE POND CHOP IT UP AND
PUT IT IN THE BASKET TO BOIL -AKE A SOUP 3OMETIMES THERE WAS
COW SHIT IN THE SOUP 4HEY DID NOT CLEAN ANYTHING %VEN IF WE
WERE STARVING IF WE SAW SHIT IN OUR SOUP SOME PEOPLE DIDNT EAT
)F WE DIDNT EAT THEY WOULD SAY WE WERE SPIES OR THE #)! OR
SOMETHING 7E ALWAYS HAD DIARRHEA ALWAYS SICK 4HERE WAS NO
HOSPITAL BUT SOMETIMES WE HAD MEDICINE WE MADE FROM A ROOT
)F WE COMPLAINED OF HEADACHE THEY WOULD TAKE A NEEDLE PUT
IT IN THE VEIN ON THE HEAD AND RUB IT BACK AND FORTH 4HEY SAY
IT WILL MAKE THE HEADACHE BETTER 4HEY TRIED TO MAKE ME BUT )
DIDNT WANT TO DO )T WAS VERY PAINFUL AND IT DID NOT MAKE ANYONE
BETTER ) ALWAYS PRETENDED TO NOT HAVE PAIN IF THEY WERE GOING TO
DO THAT "UT IF THEY OFFERED MEDICINE )D TAKE
h4HE CHILDREN OF THE +HMER 2OUGE WOULD MAKE OUR FOOD )
WOULD GO UP TO THE GIRLS WITH A PILLOW AND TELL THEM ) KNEW HOW
TO DO EMBROIDERY ) WOULD TAKE THE NEEDLE AND lND STRING FROM
PIECES OF CLOTHES AND DO EMBROIDERY ON IT GIVE IT TO THEM AS A
GIFT 4HEN THEY MIGHT GIVE ME A FEW TAMARIND OR SOME RICEˆBUT
NOT THE GOOD RICE THE RICE THAT IS VERY HARD FROM THE BOTTOM OF
THE POT "UT EATING IT WAS VERY GOOD FOR US WE SAVED IT FOR A VERY
LONG TIME A LITTLE BIT EVERY DAY ) WOULD SAVE FOR THE NEW PEOPLE
EVERYBODY SHARING ) SHARED WITH THEM BECAUSE ) KNOW THEY WERE
GOING HUNGRY
h4HERE WERE SOME GIRLS WHO WERE EXPERTS AT CLIMBING THE TREE
OR GETTING THE MORNING GLORY FROM THE POND ) WOULD GO WITH THEM
TO WORK AND LOOK AFTER THEM 7HEN THE +HMER 2OUGE WERE NOT
THERE ) WOULD TAKE SOME EXTRA MORNING GLORY ) WOULD HIDE IT FROM
THE CHIEF OF THE GROUP !T THAT TIME WE WOULD ONLY EAT THE SMALL
PORRIDGE 3O WE TOOK MORNING GLORY TO SECRETLY EAT WITH OUR RICE
h4HE SISTERS THAT SWIM WOULD GO AND GET THE MORNING GLORY
-Y JOB WAS TO CARRY IT IN BIG BASKETS ) CARRIED EXTRA BASKETS TO
SHOW THE #HIEF ) WAS A GOOD WORKER ) WOULD HIDE THE EXTRA
MORNING GLORY IN A SMALL BALL UNDER THE BASKET !T WE
WOULD HAVE DINNER 4HE CHIEF OF THE GROUP WOULD GO HAVE DINNER
SOMEWHERE ELSE AND WE WOULD QUICK QUICK BOIL OUR MORNING
GLORY OR WATER LILY 4HEY DID NOT SEE /NCE WHEN THEY DID WE
SAID @/H 3ISTER 7E MADE YOU SOME MORNING GLORY AND GAVE IT
TO HER )T PLEASED HER "UT OTHER PEOPLE WERE NOT LUCKY LIKE MExv
"AMBOO IS INEDIBLE UNLESS IT IS BOILED FOR DAYS !FTER BEING
BOILED IT RETAINS A SOUR TASTE AND STILL CAN ONLY BE EATEN IN VERY
SMALL DOSES ,IKE THE RICE POWDER IN THE lSH SKIN THIS WAS ANOTHER
CASE IN WHICH 0HOUNG WOULD SCAVENGE WHAT SHE COULD TO DECEIVE
HER BODY INTO THINKING SHE WAS EATING ACTUAL FOOD h3OMETIMES
WE WOULD SECRETLY EAT BAMBOO "AMBOO IS VERY BITTER SO WE HAD
4HE !RT OF #OEXISTENCE%THICS AND #OEXISTENCE 3TUDENT &ELLOWS
TO EAT IT VERY SMALLˆVERY LITTLE BIT IN THE SOUP AT A TIME 7E
HAVE TO BOIL IT lRST OR YOU CANNOT EAT IT 4HE CHIEF FOUND A GIRL
EATING A LITTLE BAMBOO IN THE SOUP AND GOT VERY ANGRY 4HE CHIEF
FORCED HER TO EAT BAMBOO AND EAT THE VERY BITTER WATER UNTIL SHE
VOMITEDv ) WAS REMINDED OF MY FRIEND WHO TRIED A CIGARETTE WHEN
SHE WAS 7HEN HER FATHER DISCOVERED HER SMOKING HE FORCED
HER TO SMOKE A WHOLE PACK AT ONCE 3HE THREW UP ALL OVER THE mOOR
AND NEVER SMOKED AGAIN ) WAS ABOUT TO GIVE 0HOUNG AN ACCOUNT
OF THE STORY BUT STOPPED MYSELF SHORT 4HOSE STORIES WERE NOTHING
ALIKE ) COULDNT BELIEVE ) ALMOST COMPARED THE +HMER 2OUGE TO A
PARENT ADMINISTERING CLICH£ @TOUGH LOVE 5GH
h7HEN WE CUT THE MORNING GLORY IF WE DID IT WRONG THEY
WOULD SAY WE WERE SPIES )F YOU CUT TOO LOW YOU CUT THE ROOT
AND IT CANNOT GROW )T IS DESTROYED 4HEY WOULD SAY THAT WE ARE
ENEMIES THAT WE ARE THE 6IETNAMESE BECAUSE WE TRY TO DESTROY
/R THEY SAY WE ARE CAPITALISTSˆWE DO NOT KNOW HOW TO DO FARM
WORKv
3HE SPOKE WITH FRANKNESS ) JUST SAT IN FASCINATION h$ID
YOU EVER GET ACCUSED OF BEING A SPYv h9ESv h7HAT HAPPENEDv
h-ANY TIMES WE WOULD GET VERY VERY TIRED 7E WERE VERY TIRED
7E WOULD GET SO THIRSTY BECAUSE WE WERE TIRED ) SAID @)M THIRSTY
AND WENT TO THE POT WHERE THEY BOILED WATER "UT THE WATER DID
NOT BOIL ENOUGH 3O ) DELAYED DRINKING SO ) COULD REST ) TOOK
THE SHELL FROM THE COCONUT TO TAKE OUT THE WATER 4HEN ) WOULD
DRINK SLOWLY SO ) COULD REST 4HEN ) NEEDED TO GO TO THE TOILET
/F COURSE THEY DIDNT HAVE A TOILET WE HAD TO GO IN THE FOREST )
WENT TO THE FOREST TO GO TO THE TOILET BUT ) TOOK A VERY GOOD TIME
) NEEDED TO SIT BECAUSE ) WAS TOO TIRED 4O RELAX 4HEY THOUGHT )
RAN AWAY ) CAME BACK AND THEY SAID ) WAS A SPY TRYING TO ESCAPEv
4HE ACCUSATIONS NEVER STUCK BUT THAT DIDNT STOP HER FROM
PERPETUALLY FEARING FOR HER LIFE BASED ON HER BACKGROUND (ER
FATHER HAD WORKED FOR THE ,ON .OL GOVERNMENT ISSUING PROPERTY
TITLES /THER PEOPLE HAD BEEN @DISAPPEARED FOR LESS h) REMEMBER
ONE GIRL WHO ALWAYS SAID @/H ) MISS MY FAMILY ) MISS MY FATHER
-Y FATHER IS A DOCTOR 3HE KEPT WANTING TO TALK TO ME AND ) SAID
NO ) REMEMBERED WHAT MY MOTHER SAID SHE SAID TO NEVER TALK
ABOUT OUR FAMILY NEVER TO TALK ABOUT THE SITUATION IN THE CITY 3O )
DIDNT 4HE GIRL ALWAYS TALKED ABOUT COMING FROM THE CITY !LWAYS
TALKED ABOUT HER FAMILY 4HE +HMER 2OUGE SAID @9OU CAN GO HOME
NOW 4HEY TOLD HER THAT BECAUSE SHE MISSED HER FAMILY THEY WOULD
SEND HER HOME 2EALLY THEY WERE INVESTIGATING HER BECAUSE SHE WAS
A STUDENT 3HE THOUGHT SHE WAS GOING HOME 3HE WAS SENT TO DIEv
)N 0HOUNG WAS TOO SICK TO STAND 3HE WAS SENT BACK TO
THE COMMUNE AND STAYED IN THE +AMPOT HOSPITAL FOR MONTHS
4HE ONLY MEDICINE WAS SERUM MADE FROM COCONUT JUICE AND
TABLETS WHICH WERE MADE FROM VEGETABLE ROOTS h) WAS VERY VERY
VERY VERY SKINNYv (ER SISTER CAME TO TAKE CARE OF HER AND SHE
WAS lNALLY REUNITED WITH HER FAMILY ! FEW MONTHS LATER THE
6IETNAMESE INVADED AND OVERTHREW THE +HMER 2OUGE
0HOUNG LIVED IN +AMPOT WITH HER FAMILY WHO ONE BY ONE
CAME TO 0HNOM 0ENH )N +AMPOT SHE WANTED TO BE A DOCTOR
3HE WASNT ALLOWED TO BUT SHE WAS ALLOWED TO BE A TEACHER 4HE
6IETNAMESECONTROLLED TRANSITIONAL GOVERNMENT HAD MADE IT
ILLEGAL TO LEARN %NGLISH AT THE TIME .EVERTHELESS SHE TAUGHT
HERSELF %NGLISH FROM A BOOK SHE FOUND %VENTUALLY lNDING A
TEACHER SHE RODE A BIKE FOR KILOMETERS AND STUDIED BY CANDLE
LIGHT FROM TO EVERY NIGHT $URING THE DAY SHE WAS A
WELLRESPECTED TEACHER TRAINING PEOPLE IN HOSPITALITY TO WORK IN
HOTELS 3HE WORKED IN THE RICE lELDS IN THE AFTERNOON !T NIGHT
SHE SNUCK AWAY TO IMPROVE HER %NGLISH
4HE STATE HAD EMPLOYED HER AS A TEACHER )N THEY
lNALLY ACCEDED TO HER REQUESTS TO GO TO 0HNOM 0ENH AND JOIN THE
REST OF HER FAMILY 4HERE SHE FOUND WORK IN A HOTEL AND TAUGHT
CLASSES ON HOSPITALITY WORK (ER JOBS lNANCIALLY SUPPORTED HER
BROTHER AND SISTER THROUGH SCHOOL "Y NIGHT SHE WAS TAKING
ACCOUNTING CLASSES -ORE AND MORE SHE WANTED HER WORK TO
BE SOCIALLY RELEVANT 3HE TRIED TO QUIT HER JOB BUT THE HOTEL DID
EVERYTHING IN THEIR POWER TO KEEP HER FROM LEAVING INCLUDING
REFUSING TO WRITE RECOMMENDATIONS 3HE WAS THE BEST EMPLOYEE
THEY HAD h4HEY SAID @7E WILL INCREASE YOUR SALARY ) SAID @) WANT
TO INCREASE MY EXPERIENCE ) WANT TO SPEND MY LIFE WORKING FOR
WOMEN TO GIVE WOMEN POWER ) WANT TO WORK FOR THE .'/ AND
MAKE THE WORLD A BETTER PLACEv 3HE HAS BEEN AT THE 7OMYNS
!GENDA FOR #HANGE EVER SINCE
0HOUNG BELIEVES THAT SHE NEEDS TO TELL HER STORY 3HE NEEDS
PEOPLE TO KNOW WHAT HAPPENED /FTENTIMES YOUNGER PEOPLE
REFUSE TO BELIEVE HER %VEN 3OKUNTHY ONE OF THE MOST INSPIRED
7!#TIVISTS DIDNT BELIEVE AT lRST ) WAS DUMBFOUNDED 3OKUNTHY
WAS AN EDUCATED ACTIVE INTELLIGENT PERSON (OW COULD SHE HAVE
BEEN SO IGNORANT OF HER OWN COUNTRYS HISTORY ) THOUGHT ABOUT
MY OWN CHILDHOOD ) HAD BEEN INUNDATED WITH INFORMATION
ABOUT THE HOLOCAUST AND WHAT HAPPENED TO MY PEOPLE IN %UROPE
4HE HISTORICAL OPPRESSION OF *EWS HAD BEEN DRILLED INTO MY HEAD
AT SCHOOL SYNAGOGUE AND HOME &ROM THAT POINT FOREWORD )
COULDNT LOOK AT ANY #AMBODIAN OVER AND NOT THINK OF THE
PAIN THAT THEY PROBABLY CARRIED INSIDE
.INE STORYTELLING
h,ET YOUR CHILDREN NAME THEMSELVES AND CLAIM
THEMSELVES AS THE NEW DAY FOR TODAY 7E ARE DETERMINED
TO BE THE CHANNELERS OF THESE CHANGING FREQUENCIES INTO
SONGS PAINTINGS WRITINGS DANCE DRAMA PHOTOGRAPHY
CARPENTRY CRAFTS LOVE AND LOVE 7E ENLIST EVERY
INSTRUMENT ACOUSTIC ELECTRONIC %VERY SOCALLED RACE
GENDER AND SEXUAL PREFERENCE %VERY PERSON AS BEINGS OF
SOUND TO ACKNOWLEDGE THEIR RESPONSIBILITY TO UPLIFT THE
CONSCIOUSNESS OF THE ENTIRE FUCKING WORLDv
n 3AUL 7ILLIAMS
) THOUGHT ABOUT )NGRIDS COMMENT h3O MANY .'/S DO WORK
HERE AS IF THE PEOPLE DONT HAVE DEEP SEATED PSYCHOLOGICAL ISSUES
4HERE HAS BEEN NO HEALING PROCESS HEREv (OW CAN WE EVEN
APPROACH ANY KIND OF RECONCILIATION ANY KIND OF HEALING WITHOUT
A BASIC KNOWLEDGE OF HISTORY
h)TS ALL WELL AND GOOD TO TALK ABOUT COEXISTENCE FROM
YOUR MOVEMENT OF PRIVILEGE BUT WHAT ABOUT THE +HMER FARMER
WHO HAS NO RICE FOR HIS KIDS BECAUSE HE HAS BEEN FUCKED OVER
BY THE )-& 7HAT ABOUT ALL THE PEOPLE STRUGGLING TO BARELY
SURVIVE 4HEY DONT HAVE THE LUXURY OF COEXISTENCE &UCK THAT
PEACE SHITv 2OSANNAS EARLIER DENUNCIATION OF COEXISTENCE WORK
STARTED TO SEEM A BIT OBTUSE 7HAT MEANING CAN ECONOMIC
EMPOWERMENT REALLY HAVE FOR A COUNTRY THAT CANT LOCATE ITS
OWN IDENTITY 5NTIL #AMBODIANS BEGIN TO UNDERSTAND AND
ACCEPT WHAT HAPPENED YEARS AGO IT SEEMS THAT THEIR ISSUES
OF TRUST AND IDENTITY WILL NEVER BE RESOLVED )N THAT CONTEXT
hDEVELOPMENTv WILL ALWAYS HAVE TO COME FROM THE OUTSIDE AS
THERE IS NO BASIS FOR #AMBODIANS TO STAND ON THEIR OWN
2OSANNAS REVULSION TO COEXISTENCE MIGHT COME IN PART
FROM THE SEMANTICS AROUND THE CONCEPT 4HE LETSALLGET
ALONGANDTHROWASIDEOURDIFFERENCES PACIlST CONNOTATION
OF COEXISTENCE IS BANKRUPT IN THE CONTEXT OF OPPRESSION AND
INJUSTICE ) FOUND THAT MUCH OF THE READING ON THE TOPIC )
HAD DONE PRIOR TO MY ARRIVAL WAS USELESS IN #AMBODIA 4HERE
hCONmICTv IS NOT ORGANIZED AS TWO GROUPS ENGAGED IN A DISPUTE
)TS NOT BLACK AND WHITE 4HERE ARE MANY INTERSECTING LINES OF
POWER AND HISTORY THAT ARE LAYERED TO THE POINT WHERE IT IS UNCLEAR
AS TO WHO EVEN NEEDS TO BE BROUGHT TO THE TABLE /PPRESSION IS
CONlGURED ALONG STRUCTURAL AND PHYSICAL SYSTEMS OF POWER THAT
REQUIRE JUSTICE BEFORE COEXISTENCE
)N THE SAME TURN HOWEVER #AMBODIANS NEED TO DEAL WITH
THE PSYCHOLOGICAL TRAUMA OF THEIR PAST BEFORE THAT JUSTICE CAN
OCCUR (EALING MIGHT REQUIRE IN PART A RECONCILING WITH THOSE
WHO COMMITTED CRIMES UNDER THE +HMER 2OUGE 7HEN ) ASKED
0HOUNG ABOUT HER THOUGHTS ON MY REALIZATION THAT MY MOTORBIKE
DRIVER MIGHT HAVE PARTICIPATED IN UNSPEAKABLE ATROCITIES SHE SAID
h.O ) DO NOT BLAME THEM .ORMAL PEOPLE WERE THE SOLDIERS
THEY HAD TO DO IT 4HEY WERE HURT JUST LIKE USv (ER REAL FEAR AND
ANGER WAS DIRECTED TOWARD THE +HMER 2OUGE LEADERSHIP WHO IN
MANY WAYS STILL CONTROL ASPECTS OF #AMBODIAS PRESENT AND FUTURE
2ECONCILIATION WITH OTHER #AMBODIANS IS ESSENTIAL TO BUILDING
THE KIND OF CIVIL SOCIETY REQUIRED FOR SELFDIRECTED EMPOWERMENT
TO CHALLENGE AND CONFRONT OPPRESSIVE SYSTEMS )T IS IMPORTANT TO
CLARIFY THAT WHEN ) HIGHLIGHT THE NEED FOR RECONCILIATION WITH THE
+HMER 2OUGE THAT DOESNT NECESSARILY INCLUDE THE ELITES WHOM
) DO NOT CONSIDER PART OF THE #AMBODIAN POPULACE BUT RATHER
PART OF THE OPPRESSION THAT MUST BE CONFRONTED ADVERSARIALLY IF
NECESSARY 4HE ONLY ONES CALLING FOR THAT KIND OF RECONCILIATION
ARE THE +HMER 2OUGE LEADERS THEMSELVES
"Y IGNORING THE NEED FOR RECONCILIATION 2OSANNA IS
ALMOST SUBVERTING HER OWN AIMˆSELF DETERMINATION AND
EMPOWERMENTˆAS IT IS IMPOSSIBLE FOR #AMBODIANS TO PREPARE
FOR THE FUTURE IF THEY CANNOT MAKE IT THROUGH THE PRESENT
5NLESS THEY HAVE THE SOCIAL FOUNDATION OF TRUST COMMUNICATION
AND HEALING FROM ISSUES OF DEATH AND INHUMANITY IT SEEMS
INCONCEIVABLE THAT THEY WILL BE ABLE TO DIRECT THEIR OWN
DEVELOPMENT %FFORTS TO CULTIVATE #AMBODIAN AUTONOMY THAT
IGNORE THIS ARE DESTINED TO FAIL
4HE 7OMYNS !GENDA FOR #HANGE DOES PLAY AN IMPORTANT
ROLE IN RECONCILIATORY WORK EVEN IF 2OSANNA WOULD RATHER
NOT THINK OF IT AS UNDER THAT LABEL )NDEED THE KINDS OF
COMMUNICATION THAT ARE CENTRAL TO RECONCILIATION INFORM
)NTERNATIONAL #ENTER FOR %THICS *USTICE AND 0UBLIC ,IFE MUCH OF 7!#S LOGIC 7!# IS DEDICATED TO CREATING SPACES
OF EMPOWERMENT AND SELFEXPRESSION ) HAD HELPED ORGANIZE A
RAPE CONFERENCE THAT WAS CENTERED ON SAFE SPACE DIALOGUE AND
DISCUSSION AMONGST BOTH BAUK ADVOCATES AND SURVIVORS 4HIS IS
RECONCILIATION AT WORK 'IVING WOMEN THE OPPORTUNITY TO DISCUSS
THEIR OWN ISSUES SURROUNDING PROBLEMS LIKE SEXUAL ASSAULT AND
OTHER FORMS OF DOMINATION DIFFERENTIATES 7OMYNS !GENDA FOR
#HANGE FROM OTHER WESTERN .'/S IN 0HNOM 0ENH 7!# IS
AT LEAST IN THEORY COMMITTED TO LETTING WOMEN NARRATE THEIR
OWN STRUGGLE 7HAT IF 7!# APPLIED THESE IDEAS TO THE DEEP
PSYCHOLOGICAL ISSUES SURROUNDING THE +HMER 2OUGE 4HERE
ARE THOUSANDS OF PEOPLE WHO LIKE 0HOUNG CARRY INTENSE AND
TRAUMATIC MEMORIES UNEXPRESSED AND UNACKNOWLEDGED
(EALING ON ANY SOCIETAL SCALE MUST BE COLLECTIVE )T IS HARD
FOR ME TO IMAGINE ANY OTHER WAY TO BUILD A SENSE OF TRUST AMONG
#AMBODIANS &OR ALL THE RHETORIC ABOUT UNITY AND SOLIDARITY
THAT IS THROWN AROUND 7!# THERE CERTAINLY SEEMS TO BE LITTLE
ATTENTION PAID TO ENGENDERING THOSE ISSUES OF TRUST OF A SENSE OF
FUTURE AND IDENTITY 3OCHEATA AND 3OKUNTHY WOULD BOTH REGULARLY
ASK ME ABOUT WHAT ITS LIKE BEING PART OF A hSOCIAL MOVEMENTv
4HEY WOULD OFTEN BRAINSTORM WAYS TO CULTIVATE SUCH A POLITICAL
AND SOCIAL FORMATION 0ROGRESSIVE SOCIAL MOVEMENTS HAVE SPRUNG
UP IN THE CONTEXT OF DIRE POVERTY ALL AROUND THE WORLDxWHY NOT
IN #AMBODIA
!NY KIND OF #AMBODIAN SOCIAL MOVEMENT SEEMS
INCONCEIVABLE IN THE ABSENCE OF A COLLECTIVE IDENTITY 7!#S
WORK WITH GARMENT WORKERSˆFACILITATING DEVELOPMENT OF TRUST
AND AWARENESS OF MUTUAL DEPENDENCYˆMUST HAPPEN BEYOND THE
WALLS OF THE 7!# BOAT AND $ROP)N #ENTERS OUTSIDE FACTORIES
7HAT WILL HAPPEN WHEN THE OLDER GENERATION DIES IF THE KIDS
ARENT TAUGHT ABOUT WHAT HAPPENED TO THEIR PARENTS 0HNOM
0ENH NEEDS MORE PEOPLE LIKE 0HOUNG 3O MUCH #AMBODIAN
HISTORY IS BEING NARRATED FROM OUTSIDE OBSERVERS SO MUCH OF THE
STORY IS TOLD BY PEOPLE WHO HAVENT EXPERIENCED IT
!ND SOMETIMES ) THINK ITS IMPOSSIBLE FOR OUTSIDERS TO EVER
GET THE STORY RIGHT
4EN PASS THE PRIVILEGE
h9OUR ACTIONS SPEAK SO LOUD ) CANT HEAR A WORD YOURE SAYINGv
n 'REG 'RAFlN
3O THERES THIS !MERICAN JOURNALIST WHO WAS WRITING A BOOK ABOUT
THE 3OUTHEAST !SIAN GARMENT INDUSTRY ) DONT REMEMBER HER
NAME (ER BOOK INTENDS TO FOLLOW AROUND ONE PIECE OF FABRIC
THROUGH ITS DIFFERENT STAGES OF DEVELOPMENT AND THE AUTHOR
PROPOSES THAT SHE IS GIVING THE READER hAN OBJECTIVE VIEW OF HOW
GLOBALIZATION WORKSv /F COURSE 2OSANNA HATED HER 2O ASKED
ME WHAT ) THOUGHT OF THE BOOK IDEA ) SHRUGGED h) DUNNO 4HAT
FRAMEWORK SEEMS REALLY SUPERlCIALv h7HAT DO YOU MEANv h7ELL
IT TOTALLY IGNORES THE UNDERLYING STRUCTURES OF DOMINATION THAT
LAY BEHIND THE CREATION OF THE CONDITIONS THAT SHE WILL BE TRYING
TO TALK ABOUT IN HER BOOK "Y FOCUSING ON THE PIECE OF CLOTHING
ITSELF SHE DRAWS ATTENTION AWAY FROM THE ISSUES THAT REALLY MATTERv
4HE !RT OF #OEXISTENCE%THICS AND #OEXISTENCE 3TUDENT &ELLOWS
h%XACTLY 3HE CAME TO 7!# THE OTHER DAY AND ASKED FOR MY HELP
) TOLD HER WHAT ) THOUGHT OF HER IDEA 3HE SEEMED UNACCUSTOMED
TO PEOPLE NOT PRAISING HER !LL SHE SAID WAS @7ELL ) ALREADY
PROPOSED THIS AS A TOPICx SHE DIDNT EVEN WANT TO ENGAGE WITH
HER ROLE AND WHAT SHE WAS DOING ) PUT HER IN TOUCH WITH 4IEN
AND 3OKUNTHY -AYBE SHELL LEARN SOMETHING ) DONT KNOWv
3OKUNTHY AND 4IEN WORK ON 7!#S hLABOR WEDGEv PROJECT
AND SPEND A GREAT DEAL OF THEIR TIME ORGANIZING WITH GARMENT
WORKERS #AMBODIAN GARMENT WORKERS SLAVE AWAY IN SWEATSHOP
CONDITIONS AND ALMOST ALL OF THEM ARE FEMALE 4HEY ORGANIZE IN
SPACES CALLED $ROP)N #ENTERS ON THE RURAL OUTSKIRTS OF 0HNOM
0ENH /NE MORNING ,EAH AND ) JOINED THEM ON THEIR TRIP TO
THE $ROP)N #ENTER 3OKUNTHY WAS TOO NICE TO SAY NO WHEN
THE JOURNALIST ASKED TO TAG ALONG TOO 7E PILED INTO THE WHITE
/XFAM (ONG +ONG *EEP AND 3OKUNTHY PROCEEDED TO EXPLAIN ALL
ABOUT THE WORKERS WE WERE GOING TO MEET 3HE SPOKE QUICKLY
HER FACE ANIMATED BY HER EYES DARTING ALL AROUND 3HE WAS IN
HER EARLY TWENTIES AND ONE OF THE MOST DEDICATED ACTIVISTS AT
7!# 3OKUNTHY WAS CONTINUALLY INTERRUPTED BY THE JOURNALIST
WHO DIDNT ASK QUESTIONS BUT INSTEAD FOUND WAYS TO REFERENCE
HERSELF AND HER ACCOLADES 7E SOON WERE ONLY TALKING ABOUT HER
FEATURE ARTICLES IN 3PIN MAGAZINE ) GAVE UP TRYING TO SHIFT THE
CONVERSATION BACK TO #AMBODIAN GARMENT WORKERS AND GAZED
OUT THE WINDOW
/UR TIRES KICKED UP STORMS OF DIRT AND WE LEFT A TRAIL OF
#AMBODIANS YELLING h(ELLOv IN OUR WAKE #HICKENS PECKED AT THE
SIDES OF THE ROADS UNDER THE BANANA TREES THAT SHADED THE SMALL
SHOPS SELLING *UICYFRUIT GUM 4HE ONLY OTHER VISIBLE BUSINESSES
WERE FRUIT STANDS AND MOTORBIKE REPAIR SHOPS -Y ATTEMPTS
AT JOURNAL WRITING WERE THWARTED BY THE ROADS REFUSAL TO STOP
BUMPING US UP AND DOWN 4HE RICE lELDS WERE ENDLESS #LUSTERS
OF MANGROVES HUNG LIKE OASES IN THE MURKY BROWN AND GREEN
!FTER ABOUT MINUTES WE TOOK A LEFT AND DROVE PAST A SERIES OF
TEXTILE FACTORIES 6ARIOUS MULTINATIONAL COMPANIES OUTSOURCE THEIR
LABOR HERE /NE FACTORY MIGHT SERVE FOR EXAMPLE &ILA .IKE AND
'AP 4HE $ROP)N #ENTER WAS CLOSE BY
"LUE SHEET METAL ROOlNG COVERED A BEIGE BUILDING BARELY
BIG ENOUGH TO lT THE WORKERS 7E SAT IN A CIRCLE AND THEY
DISCUSSED GRIEVANCES AND PLANS 4HEY SPOKE IN +HMER AND WITH
3OKUNTHY ACTIVELY PARTICIPATING AND THE JOURNALIST MONOPOLIZING
4IENS TRANSLATING SKILLS ) JUST SAT BACK AND WATCHED 4HE
SOLIDARITY WAS ALMOST TANGIBLE )T WAS THE KIND OF THING WE TALK
ABOUT HAVING IN ACTIVISTS GROUPS ) BELONG TO IN THE 3TATES BUT
LACK THE URGENCY AND IMMEDIACY TO BE ABLE TO FULLY REALIZE
4HESE WOMEN WERE LIVING A REALITY OF ABUSE &OR THESE WOMEN
THESE MEETINGS WERE THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN LIFE AND DEATH 4HEY
WERE DETERMINED BUT ALSO LAUGHING 7E BROKE FOR LUNCH AND
) PROCEEDED TO PHOTOGRAPH EACH WOMANS PROlLE FOR A 7!#
0OWER0OINT PRESENTATION
4HE JOURNALIST TOLD 4IEN TO h4ELL THIS WOMAN AND THIS
WOMAN AND THIS WOMAN THAT ) WANT TO INTERVIEW THEM AT A
LATER DATE WHEN ) HAVE MY TRANSLATORv 4IEN SEEMED UNEASY
BUT @TOLD THEM 4HE WOMEN WERE MORE THAN WILLING TO TALK TO
THE JOURNALISTx) WONDERED IF THEY REALIZED IT WAS APPARENTLY
THEIR OBLIGATION TO DO SO 3OKUNTHY ASKED WHY SHE COULDNT JUST
INTERVIEW THE WORKERS NOW h/H WELL YOU KNOW ) HAVE MY
OWN PERSONAL TRANSLATOR 3HES A PROFESSIONAL NOT LIKE YOU GUYSv
) WISHED 3OKUNTHY WOULD SLAP THE 6ERSACE SUNGLASSES OFF HER
FACE #HUCKLING AT THE IRONY OF THE @COEXISTENCE INTERN HAVING
FANTASIES OF VIOLENCE ) TURNED BACK TO THE WORKERS WHO WERE STILL
PASSIONATELY SPEAKING
4HEY WERE TALKING ABOUT STARTING A WORKEROWNED COLLECTIVE
FACTORY 4HE IDEA WAS THAT IT WILL APPEAL TO &AIR 4RADE CLOTHING
MANUFACTURERS WHO WERE lNDING A GROWING MARKET NICHE IN
%UROPE AND TO A LESSER DEGREE THE 5NITED 3TATES 4HEY COULD THEN
FULLY LIBERATE THEMSELVES FROM THE SWEATSHOPS THEY CURRENTLY TOIL IN
7!# WAS HELPING THEM WITH THE RESOURCES AND LOGISTICS 4HE PLAN
WAS STILL IN ITS INFANCY 4HE JOURNALIST RANTED ABOUT HOW RECKLESS
AND IRRESPONSIBLE IT WAS ON THE ENTIRE WAY HOME ) ARGUED
h3O WHAT IF THIS FACTORY FAILSv h7ELL NOBODY SAID IT WASNT A
BIG RISKv h"UT THEY CAN NEGOTIATE FOR HIGHER WAGES AT THE FACTORIES
THEYRE ATv h/F COURSE THEY CANT 4HEYD GET lRED 9OU KNOW
THATv )M UNSURE IF IT WAS MY TONE OF VOICE OR WHAT BUT SHE TOOK
WHAT SHOULD HAVE BEEN A COMPLETELY APPARENT AND UNCONTROVERSIAL
STATEMENT AS A CALL TO ARMS h)M SICK OF PEOPLE DEMONIZING THE
OWNERS OF THESE FACTORIES 9OU CANT JUST SAY THE WORKERS ARE PURE
AND GOOD AND THE BOSSES ARE EVIL )TS MORE COMPLICATED THAN
THATv h5M OKAY 4HATS NOT WHAT ) WAS DOING BUT HOW IS IT MORE
COMPLICATED THAN THATv h"ECAUSE ITS NOT THAT SIMPLEv h) KNOW ITS
NOT "UT EXPLAIN TO ME WHAT YOURE SAYINGv h7ELL THE OWNERS OF
THESE FACTORIES TAKE A BIG lNANCIAL RISK BY INVESTING IN THESE PLACESv
h7HATv h)M JUST SAYING THAT THERE IS A RISK INVOLVED ON THEIR PART
TOOv ) WAS mABBERGASTED 7AS SHE REALLY JUSTIFYING EXPLOITATION
ON THE PREMISE THAT THERE IS lNANCIAL RISK IN INVESTMENT )F THESE
WOMEN ASK TO GO TO THE BATHROOM AT WORK THEY ARE RISKING THEIR
LIVELIHOOD )TS A LIFE OR DEATH DECISION 7AS SHE CONmATING THAT RISK
WITH THE RISK ON THE PART OF OUTSIDE INVESTORS 7OW
7AS THE NOTION OF A COLLECTIVE FACTORY REALLY OUTRAGEOUS
2OSANNA ONCE EXPOUNDED ON HER CONTEMPT FOR LIBERALS WHO
CHASTISE HER FOR BEING @UNREALISTIC h7HO EXACTLY IS THE ONE WHOS
NOT BEING REALISTIC 7HAT ARE YOU DOING 9OURE TRYING TO SHOW
CORPORATIONS THAT POVERTY EXISTS IN THE HOPES OF THEM SAYING
@OH ) NEVER REALIZED )LL TELL THE SHAREHOLDERS THAT THEIR PROlTS
ARE GOING TO GO DOWN A BIT SO WE DONT HURT THESE PEOPLE 'IVE
ME A BREAKv 3HE CONTINUED SWITCHING TO CONDEMNATION OF
RECONCILIATION h4HESE PEOPLE DONT WANT TO @RECONCILE WITH THEIR
EXPLOITERS 4HEY WANT TO OVERTHROW AND KILL THEIR EXPLOITERSv
4HE WORKERS ARENT EXACTLY THE IMAGES OF GUERILLA REVOLUTIONARIES
THAT THAT STATEMENT MIGHT EVOKE BUT AT THAT MEETING ) COULD
CERTAINLY SEE WHAT SHE MEANT ) COULD FEEL IT 4HESE WOMEN HAD
BEEN SO BEATEN DOWN AND OPPRESSED THAT THEIR STRENGTH CAME
FROM A VISION OF A WORLD IN WHICH THERE ARE NO MASTERSˆNOT ONE
IN WHICH THEIR MASTERS ARE NICE AND GENEROUS AND GIVE THEM HIGH
WAGES "UT WAS A COLLECTIVE FACTORY A REALIZABLE SOLUTION 4HE
JOURNALIST WAS ON A RAMPAGE
h)TS RIDICULOUS ) MEAN ITS A WONDERFUL IDEA AND ALL BUT
WHEN THESE WOMEN QUIT THEIR JOBS AND TRY TO START A FACTORY AND
IT TANKS IT WILL BE 7!#S FAULTv )T WASNT THE VIABILITY OF THE
FACTORY THAT ) TOOK ISSUE WITH IT WAS THE ASSUMPTIONS IMPLICIT IN
HER LANGUAGE ) WAS GETTING FED UP h$ONT YOU THINK YOU ARENT
GIVING THESE WOMEN ENOUGH CREDIT 4HEY ARENT CHILDREN 4HEY
CAN MAKE THEIR OWN DECISIONSv h3URE BUT 7!# HAS TO TAKE
RESPONSIBILITY FOR PUTTING THIS IDEA INTO THEIR HEADSv h"UT DONT
YOU THINK ITS PATERNALISTIC FOR YOU TO TREAT THEM LIKE MINDLESS
BEINGS WITHOUT AGENCY !RENT THEY CAPABLE OF CHOOSING WHETHER
OR NOT THEY WANT TO DO THISv 2ESPONDING TO THE TENSION
SOMEONE TURNED ON THE RADIO 3UDDENLY ALL WE HEARD WERE BASS
BEATS AND THE WORDS h,UDACRIS GOT THE mOW TO MAKE YOUR BOOTY
GO CLAPv 7EIRD
%LEVEN CONSCIOUSLY FALSE
h) SIT ON A MANgS BACK CHOKING HIM AND MAKING HIM
CARRY ME AND YET ASSURE MYSELF AND OTHERS THAT ) AM VERY SORRY
FOR HIM AND WISH TO EASE HIS LOT BY ALL POSSIBLE MEANS EXCEPT
BY GETTING OFF HIS BACKv
,EO 4OLSTOY
4HE NEXT DAY AT THE GYM ) WAS STILL SEETHING 4HIS WOMAN AND
HER 7ESTERN ARROGANCE WAS EVERYTHING ) PROMISED MYSELF )
WOULDNT BE ) WORKED MY FRUSTRATION OUT OF ME AND SLOWLY MY
SELFREmECTIVE SIDE KICKED IN 7HAT EXACTLY ARE THE IMPLICATIONS
OF 7ESTERN PATERNALISM 3MIRKING ) DECIDED THAT THE STRONGEST
PATERNALISTIC DISCOURSE TODAY CAN PROBABLY BE FOUND IN A
MAINSTREAM %CON TEXTBOOK
0ART OF THE PROGRAM OF THE 7OMYNS !GENDA FOR #HANGE IS THE
ANALYSIS AND CHALLENGING OF ECONOMIC GLOBALIZATION IN #AMBODIA
4HE CONTRADICTIONS BETWEEN NEOLIBERAL RHETORIC AND REALITY IT
IMPOSED WERE APPARENT TO ALL OF US ) WOULD LATER lND THIS CONCEPT
ARTICULATELY DESCRIBED IN A BOOK CALLED &EMINIST &UTURES
!LTHOUGH THE CONCEPT OF DEMOCRACY IS ENTHUSIASTICALLY
ESPOUSED BY THE CHAMPIONS OF GLOBALIZATION IT IS NEVER
FOLLOWED IN SPIRIT BECAUSE AS 'RAY SAYS
@DEMOCRACY AND THE FREE MARKET ARE RIVALS NOT ALLIES
.EOCOLONIAL INSTITUTIONS SUCH AS THE 7ORLD 4RADE
/RGANIZATION WHICH SEE THEMSELVES AS THE EPITOME OF A @FREE
MARKET FRAME RULES FOR THE MARKET WHICH ARE NOT OPEN TO
THE SCRUTINY OF ANY DEMOCRATIC LEGISLATURE 'RAY 4HESE INSTITUTIONS WHICH IDEALISTICALLY SPEAK OF EQUALITY FOR
ALL ACTUALLY REINFORCE WHAT 3PIVAK CALLS THE
@CONTINUING NARRATIVE OF SHIFTING IMPERIALIST FORMATIONS
BECAUSE THEIR NORMS OF FUNCTIONING ADHERE TO SOCIAL CULTURAL
AND LEGAL FRAMEWORKS THAT ARE PREDOMINANTLY 7ESTERNx
.EOCOLONIAL NARRATIVES DESPITE THEIR EGALITARIANSOUNDING
SLOGANS OF A @FREE MARKET AND GLOBAL @EQUITY CONTINUE TO
EMPHASIZE OVERTLY OR COVERTLY THE MANAGERIAL AUTHORITY OF
ELITE GROUPS 4HESE GROUPS TALK OF TRANSCENDING BORDERS TO
ALLOW A MULTINATIONAL mOW OF CAPITAL AND ENTERPRISE BUT
RETAIN A CLEARLY MARKED DIVISION BETWEEN 7ESTERN OR 7EST
TRAINED MANAGERS AND LARGELY NON7ESTERN WORKERS 4HE
)NTERNATIONAL #ENTER FOR %THICS *USTICE AND 0UBLIC ,IFE DOMINANT MANAGERIAL CORE USUALLY COMPRISING 7ESTERN @WHITE
MALES $OZIER 'RUNIG AND 'RUNIG FORMULATES
POLICIES FOR THE ENTIRE WORKFORCE ALTHOUGH IN NUMERICAL
TERMS WHITE MALE 7ESTERNERS ARE ONLY THE SMALL MINORITY )N
MOST TRANSNATIONAL ORGANIZATIONS IN THE AGE OF GLOBALIZATION
THE CONTROL OF UNDERPRIVILEGED GROUPS ALIGNS CLOSELY WITH THE
CONTROL OF DISEMPOWERED EMPLOYEES WHO ARE MOSTLY LIKELY TO
BE IMMIGRANTS WOMEN AND PEOPLE OF COLOUR 3ASSEN 4HIS DUAL CONTROL IS EXERCISED BY CORE GROUPS OF ORGANIZATIONAL
LEADERS WHO ARE THUS DOUBLY PRIVILEGED BY VIRTUE OF THEIR
ETHNICITY AND BECAUSE OF THEIR POSITIONS IN ORGANIZATIONAL
HIERARCHIES v +URIAN AND -UNSHI 3OME OF THE YOUNGER PEOPLE AT 7!# HAD INCREDIBLY
SOPHISTICATED ANALYSES OF GLOBALIZATION 9ET WHEN WE DISCUSSED
POLITICS THEY WOULD ASK ME TO CLARIFY TERMS LIKE hRIGHT WINGv AND
hLEFT WINGv ) MENTIONED THIS PHENOMENON TO 2OSANNA h4HATS
BECAUSE ITS MY ANALYSISv SHE REPLIED
!T THIS POINT THE IRONY WAS PALPABLE (OW MUCH DID THE
CONTRADICTION IN NEOLIBERAL RHETORIC REmECT INCONSISTENCIES IN THE
MISSION OF A 7ESTERN .'/ IN #AMBODIA (OW MUCH DOES A
GROUPS STRUCTURE AS OPPOSED TO ITS AGENDA DETERMINE ITS IMPACT
!ZIZAH 9 (IBRI AND ) AGREE THE ANSWER IS QUITE A LOT
!T ITS MOST ABSTRACT LEVEL ) DElNE PATRIARCHY AS A
HIERARCHICAL SYSTEM IN WHICH CONTROL mOWS FROM THE TOP 4HUS
IN A PATRIARCHAL SYSTEM MEN OPPRESS OTHER MEN AND NOT ONLY
WOMEN 4HIS IS WHY ENDING SUCH A SYSTEM IS BETTER FOR ALL OF
HUMANITY AND NOT ONLY WOMEN &URTHERMORE THE TOP OF THE
PYRAMID IN A PATRIARCHAL SYSTEM COULD BE lLLED WITH EITHER
MEN OR WOMEN WITNESS -ARGARET 4HATCHER WITHOUT ITS
PATRIARCHAL NATURE BEING CHANGED )F 7ESTERN FEMINISTS ARE
NOW VYING FOR CONTROL OF THE LIVES OF IMMIGRANT WOMEN BY
JUSTIFYING COERCIVE STATE ACTION THEN THESE WOMEN HAVE NOT
LEARNED THE LESSONS OF HISTORY BE IT COLONIALISM IMPERIALISM
OR EVEN FASCISM !L (IBRI IN /KIN 2OSANNA A RADICAL FEMINIST OCCUPIES THE SLOT AT THE TOP OF
THE PYRAMID THAT IS 7!# )F WE ACCEPT THAT THE BASIC STRUCTURE OF
AN .'/ˆA BUREAUCRATIC ORGANIZATION IN WHICH OUTSIDERS COME
IN TO hHELPv LOCALSˆIT FOLLOWS THAT ANY ORGANIZATION WISHING TO
SUBVERT THIS DOMINATION MUST EMBODY THEIR AIMS STRUCTURALLY AS
WELL AS IDEOLOGICALLY
)N AN IMMEDIATE SENSE 7!# STRIVES FOR EGALITARIANISM )
THOUGHT OF 3OPHEAP THE CLEANERS FACE NEXT TO 2OSANNAS ON THE
DIRECTORY )T SURELY WOULD BE ROMANTIC HOWEVER TO BELIEVE THAT
7!# IS FREE OR HAS ANY PRETENSES OF BEING FREE FROM HIERARCHY
!S ) STARTED THE THIRD INCLINE ON THE ELLIPTICAL MACHINE )
THOUGHT ABOUT THE BANKRUPTCY OF MY hSOLIDARITY NOT CHARITYv
CONCLUSION ABOUT FEMINISM AND CULTURAL IMPERIALISM 3UCH
QUESTIONS ARENT SO CLEARCUT 7HAT EXACTLY CONSTITUTES SOLIDARITY
4HE TERM AT THAT POINT SEEMED MEANINGLESS )N THE CASE OF THE
7!# ISSUES OF hCONTROLv ARE DIFlCULT TO DECIPHER 4HE STAFF OF
7!# IS ALMOST ENTIRELY #AMBODIAN 4HE ONLY hWESTERNERSv ARE
2OSANNA -ATT AND WHATEVER INTERNS HAPPEN TO BE VOLUNTEERING
4HE !RT OF #OEXISTENCE%THICS AND #OEXISTENCE 3TUDENT &ELLOWS
AT THE TIME !LL OF THE MAJOR PROJECTS ARE HEADED UP BY
#AMBODIANS AND #AMBODIANS DO MOST OF THE WORK
.'/ WORK IS PRACTICALLY THE ONLY ENTRANCE INTO THE MIDDLE
CLASS IN #AMBODIAN SOCIETY )T WOULD BE ROMANTIC TO IGNORE THIS
AS THE MOTIVATION FOR SOME OF THE 7!# EMPLOYEES )TS 2OSANNAS
ECONOMIC AND SOCIAL ANALYSIS THAT STRUCTURES THE ACTIVISM THERE
)NDEED ONE COULD SAY THAT MANY OF THE ACTIVISTS THERE ARE MERELY
PARROTING HER ANALYSIS "UT WHAT DOES THAT MEAN 7HO IS TO SAY
THAT THEY ARENT ADOPTING HER ANALYSIS BECAUSE IT IS WELL THOUGHT
OUT AND COMPLETELY APPROPRIATE FOR THEIR SITUATION 7HAT IF HER
ANALYSIS RESONATES WITH THEM
2EMOVAL OF AGENCY FROM #AMBODIANS IS PATERNALISTIC
-ANY OF THE WOMEN AT 7!# ARE PASSIONATELY DEDICATED
TO NARRATING THEIR OWN CULTUREˆTO RECLAIMING IT FROM IMPERIAL
POWER MALE DOMINATION AND FROM THE .'/S AND FOREIGNERS
LIKE ME THAT ALL TOO OFTEN SPEAK IN THEIR NAME 2EAL #AMBODIAN
WOMEN ARE SUFFERING ON A DAILY BASIS AND TO THINK THAT OTHER
#AMBODIANS CANNOT BE CONCERNED FOR THEIR EMPOWERMENT UNLESS
THEY ARE COERCED BY POWER MIGHT IN ITSELF BE RACIST 9ET TO IGNORE
THAT DYNAMIC OF POWERˆTO IGNORE THE SYSTEMS THAT STRUCTURE WHAT
CHOICES AND OPTIONS ARE AVAILABLEˆIS NAÉVE 2OSANNA IS AN OUTSIDER
TOO !N IMPOSING ONE AT THAT 3HEˆ AND BY EXTENSION 7!#
ˆCONTRIBUTES TO THE UNDERLYING TENSION BETWEEN #AMBODIANS
AND FOREIGNERS JUST AS MUCH AS ANY OTHER WHITE PERSON
) PEDALED HARDER FRUSTRATED WITH MYSELF 4HE CONDITIONS
UNDER WHICH PEOPLES CHOICES ARE STRUCTURED SEEM SO CONVOLUTED
THAT hSOLIDARITYv SEEMS TO BE AN IMPOSSIBLE NOTION TO REALLY
UNDERSTAND -AYBE ITS JUST A JUSTIFYING NARRATIVE SO THAT ACTIVISTS
FROM THE GLOBAL NORTH CAN FEEL GOOD ABOUT THEIR WORK
) SIGHED AND STEPPED OFF THE MACHINE 4HE ONLY APPROPRIATE
RESPONSE IT SEEMED IS MOVING FORWARD )F CONSCIOUSNESS IS THERE
PARALYSIS IS THE ONLY ILLEGITIMATE CONCLUSION
4WELVE DEMONSTRATE
h;7E LIVE IN A= WORLD WHERE @RECONCILIATION MEANS THAT
WHEN ONE SIDE GETS THE POWER AND THE OTHER SIDE IS RECONCILED TO
IT THEN WE HAVE RECONCILIATIONv
3AUL !LINSKY
4HERE WAS NO LONGER ANY FARMLAND 4HE SUBURBS BELOW ME HAD
AN UNCANNY RESEMBLANCE TO MICROCHIPS 7HEN THE PLANE LANDED
THE LUGGAGE CARTS COST THREE DOLLARS INSTEAD OF BEING FREE ) WAS
HOME
) HAD BEEN KEEPING A JOURNAL ALL SUMMER ) HAD EVEN WRITTEN
ASSIGNMENTS DESIGNED TO HELP ME PROCESS THE EXPERIENCE 4HE
TOTALITY OF IT ALL HOWEVER DIDNT HIT ME UNTIL ) WAS BACK IN THE
3TATES ) HAD BEEN HOME FOR ABOUT A WEEK AND DECIDED TO GO TO
.EW 9ORK #ITY TO PROTEST THE 2EPUBLICAN .ATIONAL #ONVENTION
!BOUT A HALF HOUR INTO THE DEMONSTRATION ) WAS LYING ON A
SIDEWALK IN HANDCUFFS !N OFlCER SNIDELY REMARKED h9OURE BEING
ARRESTED FOR EXERCISING RIGHTS YOU THOUGHT YOU HAD "UT ) GUESS
YOU DIDNT HAVE @EM DIDJAv ) SAT IN JAIL THINKING ABOUT HOW ) FELT
MORE COMFORTABLE IN A POLITICALLY VOLATILE THIRD WORLD NATION THAN
) DID IN MY OWN COUNTRY ) STILL HADNT PIECED TOGETHER MY ROLE IN
#AMBODIA WHICH CALLED INTO QUESTION MY ROLE HERE IN THE 53
) LIVE MY LIFE IN A STATE OF PERPETUAL INSPIRATION !NOTHER
WORLD IS POSSIBLE ) KNOW IT 9ET ) SOMEHOW HAVE FOUND A WAY TO
RECONCILE IDEALISM ALONGSIDE ACKNOWLEDGING WHAT IS OFTEN TIMES
A VERY DEPRESSING REALITY 4HE DIRT ON THE mOOR OF THE JAIL CELL WAS
MINGLING WITH SPLOTCHES OF MOTOR OIL 7E WERE DEFEATED )F ) WAS
GOING TO GET ARRESTED ) MIGHT AS WELL HAVE BEEN DOING SOMETHING
USEFUL !LL ) DID WAS RIDE A BICYCLE DOWN A STREET FOR A HALF HOUR
) PLACED MY HEAD ON THE AFRO OF THE KID NEXT TO ME AND SIGHED
hWHAT A FUCKING WASTEv (E NODDED AND GRASPED MY HAND
%VERY YEAR THE 4ON ,E 3AP REVERSES ITS CURRENT AGAIN
%VERYTHING BECOMES AS IT WAS 7HAT ) USED TO SEE AS A METAPHOR
FOR REVOLUTION BEGAN TO REPRESENT REACTION AND REGRESSION (OW
DOES ONE MEASURE SUCCESS IN THEIR ACTIVISM &ALLING SHORT OF A
COMPLETE SOCIAL REVOLUTION THAT REALIZES A SOCIETY GROUNDED IN
REAL JUSTICE AND COMPASSION WHATS OUR GOAL 7HETHER OR NOT MY
PRESENCE AT 7!# WAS @LEGITIMATE OR NOT ) DIDNT REALLY CHANGE
ANYTHING BY BEING THERE ) WAS CONTENT WITH THAT THOUGH IT TOOK
ME A WHILE TO RID MYSELF OF THE PRODUCTORIENTED AMBITION THAT
ACADEMIA HAS INSTILLED IN ME 4HE 7OMYNS !GENDA FOR #HANGE
IS CHANGING PEOPLES LIVES 4HEY WORK TO PROVIDE PEOPLE WITH
REAL CHOICES THAT WERENT THERE BEFORE 7!# IS HELPING DOMESTIC
ABUSE VICTIMS RAPE SURVIVORS SEX WORKERS AND PEOPLE WITH
!)$3 GIVE THEMSELVES POWERFUL SUPPORT NETWORKS AND POLITICAL
REPRESENTATION 4HEYRE GIVING PEOPLE ALTERNATIVES "UT DOES 7!#
REALLY HAVE THE CAPACITY TO BRING ABOUT ANY SORT OF STRUCTURAL
CHANGE IN #AMBODIAN SOCIETY !RE THEY REALLY CHANGING ANYTHING
INSTITUTIONALLY 0OLITICALLY 3YSTEMICALLY #AMBODIA IS STILL A PLACE
WHERE YOU CAN BUY YOUR WAY OUT OF JAIL AND BUY YOUR WAY INTO
AN ARCHITECTURE DEGREE THOUGH MOST PEOPLE CANNOT AFFORD TO BUY
A MEAL 5NION ORGANIZERS REGULARLY GET MURDERED IN THE STREETS
4HERE IS ESSENTIALLY NO FUNCTIONING GOVERNMENT THOUGH NO ONE
DARES CHALLENGE THE STATE 0EOPLE ARE BRUTALIZED IN JAIL ,IMBLESS
LANDMINE SURVIVORS BEG ON THE STREETS (UMAN BEINGS ARE
TRAFlCKED 7ITH SUCH A LACK OF CIVIL SOCIETY HOW EFFECTIVE CAN AN
.'/ WITH A REVOLUTIONARY AGENDA REALLY BE ) REMEMBER ASKING
2OSANNA ABOUT WHAT PROGRESS SHE HAS SEEN IN #AMBODIA DURING
HER TIME THERE (ER ONLY REPLY WAS h7ELL THE HEALTH OF DOGS HAS
IMPROVED A LOTv
0EOPLE REGULARLY ASK ME WHY ) CONTINUE MY ACTIVISM IN
THE FACE OF SUCH DEFEAT 4HE ANSWER IT ALWAYS SEEMED WAS SELF
EVIDENT THERES NOTHING ELSE YOU CAN DO "UT THAT DAY IN JAIL )
FOUND MYSELF ASKING THE SAME QUESTION OF THE 7OMYNS !GENDA
FOR #HANGE )F ITS TRUE THAT NOTHING HAS CHANGED THEN WHATS THE
POINT 4HE POINT ) THINK IS THAT ACTIVISM IS CHANGING THINGS
)M NOT ABOUT TO PRESENT A FRAMEWORK FOR EVALUATING THE
EFlCACY OF RADICAL PROJECTS 3OCIAL PROGRESS DOESNT HAPPEN ON A
LINEAR MODEL OUR AGITATION RIPPLES AND PULSATES AND AFFECTS THE
WORLD IN WAYS THAT ARENT NECESSARILY QUANTIlABLE 4HE EMOTIONAL
RELIEF OF ONE SEXUAL ABUSE SURVIVOR CANNOT BE MEASURED 4HE
7OMYNS !GENDA FOR #HANGE HAS TOUCHED THE LIVES OF EVERYONE )
HAVE SEEN THEM COME INTO CONTACT WITH
!T THE SAME TIME ) CANT DISMISS THEIR ROLE AS AN OUTSIDE
INSTITUTION FURTHER PERPETUATING A SYSTEM OF DEPENDENCE IN
#AMBODIAN SOCIETY !S MUCH AS 7!# MAY ATTEMPT TO ACCOUNT
FOR THIS POWER DISPARITY THEIR VERY STRUCTURE AS AN .'/
WILL ULTIMATELY CONTRADICT THEIR AIMS OF GENUINE AUTONOMY
2OSANNA #ES AND ) ALL CONTRIBUTED TO THAT DYNAMIC 4HIS DOES
NOT MEAN THAT ALL WELLINTENTIONED 7ESTERNERS SHOULD PACK UP
AND GO HOME )NDEED SUCH A CONCLUSION IS CRUEL )F RADICALS
ARE SERIOUS HOWEVER ABOUT HELPING #AMBODIA TRANSFORM ITSELF
INTO A PLACE THAT REALIZES PRINCIPLES OF JUSTICE AS ARTICULATED BY
#AMBODIANS THEMSELVES MOST NOTABLY SECTIONS OF #AMBODIAN
SOCIETY THAT ARE USUALLY MARGINALIZEDˆFOR EXAMPLE WOMEN )T
WOULD NOT SUFlCE TO HAVE #AMBODIAS DESTINY CONSTRUCTED ONLY
BY WEALTHY +HMER MEN THEN WE MUST TAKE SERIOUSLY A HISTORY
THAT MAKES WORKING IN #AMBODIA DIFFERENT THAN ANYWHERE
ELSE IN THE WORLD 4HE LACK OF CIVIL SOCIETY IN #AMBODIAˆTHE
LACK OF TRUSTˆCOMES DIRECTLY FROM SOCIOPSYCHOLOGICAL TRAUMA
THAT HASNT YET BEEN DEALT WITH #ONFRONTING AND ULTIMATELY
RECONCILING WITH THOSE ISSUES IS MESSY AND COMPLICATED
7!# IS ALREADY HELPING FACILITATE THIS PROCESS WHATEVER
YOU CALL IT 4HEIR ENCOURAGEMENT OF hCONSCIOUSNESS RAISINGv
AMONGST EVERYONE FROM GARMENT WORKERS TO !)$3 SURVIVORS
COMES DIRECTLY OUT OF SECOND WAVE FEMINISM JUST LIKE
2OSANNA 4HAT STYLE OF DIALOGUE IS THE CENTRAL ELEMENT OF
RECONCILIATION 7ITH ACTIVISTS LIKE 0HOUNG ALREADY INTERESTED
IN SHARING THEIR STORIES 7!# IS IN A POSITION TO BECOME SELF
CONSCIOUSLY AWARE OF THE ROLE IT ALREADY PLAYS AS AN AGENT OF
RECONCILIATION AND APPLY THAT ROLE TO ISSUES SURROUNDING THE
+HMER 2OUGE /NE MIGHT ARGUE THAT THE ROLE OF THE 7OMYNS
!GENDA FOR #HANGE IS IN THE GRASSROOTS EMPOWERMENT OF
+HMER WOMEN AND THAT THEY SHOULD FOCUS NARROWLY ON THOSE
ISSUES LET ANOTHER GROUP SPECIALIZE IN RECONCILIATORY HEALING
5NFORTUNATELY hANOTHER GROUPv DOESNT EXIST !ND UNLESS
SOMEONE DOES IT IT SEEMS #AMBODIANS WILL NEVER HAVE THE
FOUNDATION FROM WHICH TO CULTIVATE AUTONOMOUS DEVELOPMENT
OF ANY KIND LET ALONE SOCIAL REVOLUTION
!CTIVISM IS BEING GLOBALIZED NOW TOO 3OCIAL MOVEMENTS
AROUND THE WORLD ARE COMMUNICATING STRUGGLES AND SHARING IDEAS
!S ACTIVISTS FROM THE NORTH SLOWLY BEGIN TO UNDERSTAND THEIR ROLE
AS hPRIVILEGED RADICALSv STRONG LINKS OF TRUST ARE BEING DEVELOPED
THAT TRANSCEND THE DIVISIONS IMPOSED ON US BY OUR HISTORIES OF
CONQUEST AND DOMINATION 0ERHAPS THIS IS THE REAL KIND OF GLOBAL
@RECONCILIATION WE NEED
/NCE !MERICANS AND %UROPEANS DROP THE PRETENSE OF BEING
THE SAVIORS OF POOR OPPRESSED PEOPLE WE CAN REALLY WORK ON
CREATING A NEW WORLD ) DONT KNOW WHERE MY PASSION WILL TAKE
ME IN THE FUTURE ) DO KNOW THAT CHANGE MUST HAPPEN GLOBALLY
7E ARE EMBARKING ON AN UNPRECEDENTED STAGE IN WORLD HISTORY
4HIS LEVEL OF CROSSCULTURAL COMMUNICATION AMONG MOVEMENTS
HAS NEVER HAPPENED BEFORE 7ERE APPROACHING A NEW CYCLE OF
REVOLUTIONARY CONSCIOUSNESS ) CAN FEEL IT
-AYBE THATS WHY WHEN THE 4ON ,E 3AP REVERSES THE PEOPLE
IN 0HNOM 0ENH HAVE A BIG FESTIVAL
)NTERNATIONAL #ENTER FOR %THICS *USTICE AND 0UBLIC ,IFE "IBLIOGRAPHY
!LINSKY 3AUL 2ULES FOR 2ADICALS .EW 9ORK 2ANDOM (OUSE
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