7OMYNS !GENDA FOR #HANGE 0HNOM 0ENH #AMBODIA -ODERN -ISSIONARIES IN #AMBODIA 7HEN $OES !CTIVISM "ECOME THE .EW )MPERIALISM *OSHUA 2USSELL / )F THE WESTERN WORLD WAS LESS OBSESSED WITH PROPERTY AND THE NEED TO KEEP IT SAFE WITH THREATS OF WAR THEN THE THIRD WORLD WOULDNgT NEED A WAR ECONOMY THAT WEgRE SUPPLYING AT A COST THEY CANgT AFFORD 3O WE BUY UP ALL THEIR CROPS AND GRAIN AND SELL IT BACK AGAIN WHEN THERE AINgT NO RAIN AND HAVE A BIG CAMPAIGN USING FAMOUS NAMES AND AS THAT PENNY DROPS INTO THE /XFAM BOX TAKE OFF THE 6!4 4HEN CALL IT CHARITY 4HEY CALL IT CHARITY #ITIZEN &ISH /N ONE OF MY LAST NIGHTS IN #AMBODIA ) LISTENED TO #ES PLAY MY FAVORITE SONG ON HER GUITAR )T WAS AN OLD )TALIAN ANTIFASCIST ANTHEM CALLED "ELLA #IAO ) HAVE NEVER HEARD AN %NGLISH VERSION TRUE TO THE ORIGINAL LYRICS BUT THE WORDS ROUGHLY TRANSLATE TO 4HIS MORNING ) AWAKENED 'OODBYE BEAUTIFUL 4HIS MORNING ) AWAKENED !ND ) FOUND THE INVADER!ND IF ) DIE AS A PARTISAN 4HEN YOU MUST BURY ME "URY ME UP IN THE MOUNTAIN 5NDER THE SHADE OF A BEAUTIFUL mOWER !ND ALL THOSE WHO SHALL PASS 7ILL TELL YOU WHAT A BEAUTIFUL mOWER IT IS !ND THIS mOWER OF THE PARTISAN )S THE mOWER OF LIBERTY (ER VERSION WAS THE MOST BEAUTIFUL ) HAD EVER HEARD #ES SUNG IN 4AGALOG 3HE USED TO PLAY IT WHEN SHE WAS A PROTEST SINGER lGHTING THE !MERICAN OCCUPATION AND -ARCOS DICTATORSHIP ) MET #ES BECAUSE SHE WAS IN CAHOOTS WITH THE NOTORIOUS 2OSANNA "ARBAREO DIRECTOR OF 7OMYNS !GENDA FOR #HANGE ONE OF THE NONGOVERNMENTAL ORGANIZATIONS .'/S WHERE ) HAD WORKED THAT SUMMER 2OSANNA 2O HAD BEEN THERE EARLIER THAT EVENING FOR DINNER 7E MOSTLY TALKED ABOUT SOCIAL JUSTICE AND SEX 4HE !RT OF #OEXISTENCE%THICS AND #OEXISTENCE 3TUDENT &ELLOWS #ES AND 2O ARE MORE THAN DYNAMIC LEADERS 4HEY EACH POSSESS A MAGNETISM THAT DRAWS PEOPLE )VE NEVER SEEN ANYTHING QUITE LIKE IT 4HEIR VERY PRESENCE CREATES SOCIAL SPACE THAT IS UNIQUE IN THAT THEY ACT AS A GROUNDING FORCE FOR THOSE AROUND THEM 4HEIR INmUENCE ON OTHERS IS ORGANIC NOT DOMINEERING IT JUST HAPPENS 4O THAT END ) CONTINUED TO LIVE IN SUCH SPACE EVEN AS ) WAS GEOGRAPHICALLY IN DIFFERENT PARTS OF 0HNOM 0ENH 4HE COMMUNITY THEY CREATED WHETHER PHYSICAL OR NOT MAINTAINED AN ACTIVE PRESENCE IN MY CONSCIOUSNESS ) WORKED FOR TWO DIFFERENT .'/S ) ATTENDED A MASSAGE SCHOOL DAILY ) SPENT TIME IN ANCIENT TEMPLES AND GYMS IN MUSEUMS AND MARKETPLACES )N THAT SENSE MY TIME THERE MIGHT SEEM FRACTURED )T WASNT THOUGH !S ) STRUGGLED TO FRAME THESE EXPERIENCES ) CAME TO REALIZE THAT MANY OF MY STORIES CAME DIRECTLY FROM THE PHYSICAL AND SOCIAL SPACE AROUND 2OSANNA "ARBAREO AND #ES -ILLADO 4HEIR ORGANIZATIONS HOMES EXTRACURRICULAR ACTIVITIES AND THE SPACE AROUND THEM ALL SEEMED TO mOW TOGETHER IN A VIBRANTAS SOCIOLOGISTS SAYGEMEINSCHAFT ) BEGAN TO UNDERSTAND THIS AS A KIND OF COMMUNITY !ND DURING MY BRIEF TIME THERE IT WAS MY COMMUNITY ) HAD COME TO #AMBODIA WITH A HOST OF IDEAS ABOUT PRIVILEGE POWER WEALTH DOMINATION AND EXPLOITATION 4HESE IDEAS SIMULTANEOUSLY HELD EXCITEMENT AND INSPIRATION WITH SELF CONSCIOUSNESS AND AMBIVALENCE ABOUT MY ROLE IN #AMBODIA ) WAS WILDLY SKEPTICAL OF ACTIVISTS FROM RICH COUNTRIES TRAVELING AROUND THE WORLD AND MESSING WITH PEOPLES COMMUNITIES IN THE NAME OF WHAT THEY THOUGHT WAS hRIGHTv ) CONSTANTLY STRUGGLED WITH QUESTIONS OF IDENTITY INTENT AND PURPOSE ) SUPPOSE PART OF ME FELT LIKE IT WASNT MY PLACE AS SOME IGNORANT WHITE KID TO BE ENGAGING IN RADICAL ACTIVISM IN A COUNTRY ) KNEW LITTLE ABOUT "UT WITH THE HELP OF #ES AND 2OSANNA ) WAS DOING IT ANYWAY /NE DISASTER h7HAT WAS THATv h) DONT KNOW IT SOUNDED LIKE A MACHINE GUNv h.O WAY A GUN IS MUCH LOUDER THAN THATv h(MM )T WAS PROBABLY A MOTORBIKE ENGINE OR SOMETHING ) GUESSv 4HEN THE NOISE HAPPENED AGAIN A BIT LOUDER ,EAH AND ) HAD BEEN SITTING ALONE OUTSIDE A RESTAURANT EATING 0AD 4HAI ! LARGE WOMAN BURST OUT OF THE RESTAURANT DOOR EYES DARTING FRANTICALLY 3HORTLY AFTER HER SON FOLLOWED SUIT (IS TONED MUSCLES WERE TENSE HIS EYEBROWS SLANTED !LERT (E LOOKED SIMILAR TO THE STATUES OF CHISELED hSTRONG MENv IN COMMUNIST ARTWORK LIKE THE ONE IN THE CENTER OF 0HNOM 0ENH (ER TWO DAUGHTERS STEPPED OUTSIDE AND STOOD CAUTIOUSLY NEXT TO THEIR MOTHER WHO KEPT mEXING HER HANDS BACK AND FORTH ) IMAGINED HER THROWING OUR TABLE AT SOMEONE 'UN SHOTS RANG OUT AGAIN PROGRESSIVELY GETTING LOUDER CLOSER 4HE FAMILY GRABBED US AND WE ALL RAN INSIDE THEIR RESTAURANT ,EAH AND ) HUDDLED BEHIND THE COUNTER WITH THE MOTHER AND DAUGHTERS WHILE THE YEAROLD SON SLAMMED METAL GATES DOWN AROUND EVERY OPENING 3HOTS REACHED OUR STREET 4HE ONLY THING SEPARATING THEM FROM US WAS A CONCRETE WALL 4HE MOTHER AND ) EMBRACED 4IGHTLY ) COULD FEEL HER HEARTBEAT POUNDING THROUGH HER PALM ONTO MINE (ER LIPS ARCHED UPWARD IN A FORCED NERVOUS SMILETHE KIND THAT IS APPREHENSIVE BUT NOT TOO TENSE TO BLOCK THE WORDS h)TS OKAY DONT WORRY ABOUT ITxITS OKAYv FROM SLIPPING OUT 4HAI+HMER RELATIONS ARE TENSE IN #AMBODIA TO SAY THE LEAST 2ACIALLYMOTIVATED VIOLENCE IS NOT UNCOMMON ! FEW MONTHS PRIOR A FEW HUNDRED TEENAGE #AMBODIAN BOYS RIOTED AND BURNED THE 4HAI EMBASSY TO THE GROUND OVER AN UNSUBSTANTIATED RUMOR IN A NEWSPAPER 4HEY THEN PROCEEDED TO SPREAD THROUGHOUT 0HNOM 0ENH DESTROYING EVERY 4HAIOWNED BUSINESS IN SIGHT %VERYONE KNOWS WHICH BUSINESSES IN 0HNOM 0ENH ARE 4HAIOWNED 7E WERE HUDDLED BEHIND THE COUNTER OF A 4HAIOWNED RESTAURANT LISTENING TO GUN SHOTS OUTSIDE THE DOOR 4HE MOTHER TRIED TO REASSURE US h/UR FAMILY LOOKS +HMER SO MOST PEOPLE DONT KNOW WERE 4HAIx4HERE HAVE BEEN OTHER SHOOTINGS HERE RECENTLY BUT WE HAVENT HAD PROBLEMSx) WASNT AT THE RESTAURANT DURING THOSE THOUGHxv (ER BODY WEIGHED OVER ME ALMOST AS IF SHE WERE TRYING TO SHIELD ME FROM STRAY BULLETS (ER LARGE HANDS CLASPED MINE h)TS OKAY 4HIS IS NO PROBLEM REALLYv (ER VOICE WAVERED TO THE POINT OF INAUDIBILITY 7HATEVER WAS HAPPENING WAS HAPPENING RIGHT OUTSIDE %VERY TIME WE HEARD A SHOT WE DUCKED LOWER HUGGED TIGHTER /UR GRIPS SLOWLY LOOSENED DURING THE SUBSEQUENT TEN MINUTES OF SILENCE )T SEEMED OVER 7E STOOD UP AND UNEASILY SMILED AT EACH OTHER (UGE TRUCKS CRAMMED WITH GRIMACING POLICE TRUDGED PAST OUR WINDOW 4WENTY MORE MINUTES PASSED ,EAH AND ) DECIDED THAT IT PROBABLY WASNT GOING TO GET ANY SAFER WE MIGHT AS WELL LEAVE 4HE MOTHER INSISTED ON CALLING A MOTORBIKE FOR US SO WE WOULDNT HAVE TO WALK HOME ) HUGGED HER SHOOK THE HAND OF THE STRONGMAN SON AND THEN HOPPED ON THE MOTO BEHIND ,EAH 4WO BLOCKS DOWN WERE SEVERAL HUNDRED PEOPLE STANDING NEXT TO THEIR MOTORBIKES 4HEY WERE SHAPED IN A HORSESHOE LIKE AN AMPHITHEATER OR SOMETHING #ENTER STAGE LAID A MAN BLOODIED ON THE GROUND ) THOUGHT HE WAS DEAD BUT ,EAH SWORE SHE SAW HIS ARM TWITCH 0OLICE WERE JUST STANDING OVER HIM STARING %VERYONE WAS STARING 4HEY DIDNT ) SUPPOSE PART OF SEEM SHOCKED OR HORRIlED LIKE ME FELT LIKE IT WASNT BYSTANDERS WOULD BE IN THE 3TATES 4HEY JUST WERE )T HAD BEEN OVER MY PLACE AS SOME MINUTES SINCE WE HAD HEARD THE LAST SHOT BUT NOBODY HAD EVEN TRIED IGNORANT WHITE KID TO TO TAKE HIM TO A HOSPITAL YET /UR DRIVER MANEUVERED THROUGH THE BE ENGAGING IN RADICAL FRACTURED DIRT ROADS CLOGGED WITH PEOPLE 7HEN WE lNALLY MADE IT ACTIVISM IN A COUNTRY BACK TO OUR APARTMENT ,EAH AND ) STAYED UP AND TALKED ON THE PORCH ) KNEW LITTLE ABOUT ALL NIGHT $AN CAME HOME AND SHOWERED (E WAS THE OTHER INTERN FROM "RANDEIS ,EAH HAD JUST GRADUATED FROM .95 4HE WATER STOPPED WORKING WHILE HE WAS ALL SOAPY SO AS ) UNSUCCESSFULLY TRIED TO GET THE WATER TO WORK ) MENTIONED THE SHOOTING TO HIM (E HAD HAD NO IDEA THAT IT HAPPENED !FTER DRYING OFF HE CAME ON TO THE PORCH AND ASKED US TO TELL HIM THE STORY (IS EYES LIT UP AND HE LISTENED IN FASCINATION HIS FACE ALMOST SEEMED JEALOUS AS IF HE WISHED HE COULD HAVE BEEN THERE TO HAVE A STORY TO TELL HIS FRIENDS OR SOMETHING !S IF SUCH A STORY WOULD DEMONSTRATE THE DANGER OF THE PLACE THAT HE WAS LIVING IN AND VALIDATE THE WORK HE WAS DOING THERE AS A RESULT !S ILLEGITIMATE A REACTION AS THAT SEEMS ) CANT SAY ) WOULDNT HAVE FELT THE SAME WAY )N RETROSPECT MAYBE ) DID WHEN HE TOLD THE STORY OF SEEING A GIRL DRAGGED AND THROWN FROM A TRUCK -OST !MERICANS SEEM TO EXOTICIZE VIOLENCE AND DISASTER )NTERNATIONAL #ENTER FOR %THICS *USTICE AND 0UBLIC ,IFE -AYBE THATS WHY THEY EXOTICIZE #AMBODIA 4HE SHOOTING THAT ) EXPERIENCED DIDNT GIVE ME ANY EPIPHANIES OR REVELATIONS %XCEPT FOR A FEW MINUTES IT WASNT EVEN THAT SCARY IT WAS MORE SURREAL THAN ANYTHING ELSE ) WAS COMFORTED IN MY PRIVILEGEIF SOMEONE DID COME TO THAT RESTAURANT TO ENGAGE IN RACIAL VIOLENCE ) WOULD BE SPARED )M WHITE 7HEN THOSE KIDS BURNED DOWN THE 4HAI EMBASSY THEY WERE READY TO KILL A MAN WHO WAS INSIDE 4HEY QUICKLY DISCOVERED THAT HE WAS *APANESE NOT 4HAI 5PON THIS REALIZATION THEY APOLOGIZED BOWED AND ESCORTED HIM TO SAFETY 4HEN THEY RAN BACK INSIDE TO SEE IF THERE WERE ANY 4HAI PEOPLE LEFT TO BEAT UP ) WASNT IN MUCH ACTUAL DANGER 4HE MOTHER IN THAT RESTAURANT DESPITE BEING IN FAR MORE DANGER THAN ME FELT IT WAS HER RESPONSIBILITY TO COMFORT ME AND BE THE STRONG ONE 4HAT FAMILY DIDNT NEED TO PULL ,EAH AND ME INSIDE AT ALL 4HEY COULD HAVE SHUT THEIR DOORS AND TAKEN COVER "UT THEY DIDNT $URING THE COURSE OF DISASTERS WE REREALIZE OUR HUMANITY AND COMMONALITY WITH OTHERS $ISASTERS ARE ESSENTIALLY DElNED BY THEIR BREAK WITH @BUSINESS AS USUAL .ORMALITY CEASES TO EXIST $URING THIS DISASTER A WOMAN AND ) EMBRACED 7HO SHE WAS WAS UNIMPORTANT WE WERE BOTH HUMAN LOOKING FOR COMFORT IN THAT FACT ) COULD HAVE BEEN ANYONE AND SO COULD SHE 0EOPLE SEE THEMSELVES IN EACH OTHER DURING THE COURSE OF A DISASTER 7HAT IF ) WERE A +HMER BOY WHO HATED 4HAI PEOPLE 7OULD THAT EMBRACE HAVE RADICALLY CHANGED MY ORIENTATION TO RACE /R WOULD EVERYTHING HAVE RETURNED TO hNORMALv AFTERWARDS $OES THIS EMOTIONAL COMMONALITY THAT WE lND IN TIMES OF CRISIS HAVE A RECONCILIATORY POTENTIAL 5SUALLY THE OPPOSITE HAPPENS %ITHER WAY A DISASTERWHEN LIFE AND DEATH ARE SUDDENLY UP IN THE AIR RENDERS REALITY NEGOTIABLE 4HERE ARE TIMES WHEN THIS HAPPENS ON A SOCIETAL SCALE AS WELL $URING MOMENTS OF REVOLUTION THINGS HAPPEN THAT DEFY THE LOGIC OF THE OLD SOCIAL ORDER )T CAN BE INSPIRING )N #AMBODIA IT WAS BARBARIC 7HEN THE +HMER 2OUGE SEIZED POWER IN 0OL 0OTS DREAM OF INSTANTLY TRANSFORMING #AMBODIA INTO AN AGRARIAN -AOIST SOCIETY DElED SUCH LOGIC -ORE THAN TWO MILLION PEOPLE WERE MURDERED IN THE SPAN OF THREE YEARS )N NO OTHER EVENT IN WORLD HISTORY HAVE SO MANY BEEN MURDERED IN SUCH A SHORT AMOUNT OF TIMExAND MOST OF THE WORLD TURNED A BLIND EYE )N 0OL 0OTS #AMBODIA EVERYONE WAS SEEN AS A POTENTIAL ENEMY #HILDREN WOULD TURN IN THEIR PARENTS FOR A BAG OF RICE 4HERE WAS A COMPLETE BREAKDOWN OF TRUST 4HAT DISASTER HAS YET TO END 4HOUGH THE 6IETNAMESE #OMMUNISTS DROVE OUT THE +HMER 2OUGE IN THE PAST IS ALIVE IN #AMBODIA 0HNOM 0ENH IS AN INSTITUTIONALIZED DISASTER 4HEIR BREAK WITH REALITY BECAME NORMAL !MIDST RAMPANT POLITICAL CORRUPTION AND A CRUMBLING CIVIL SOCIETY DAY TO DAY SURVIVAL IS NOW THE ONLY REALITY 4HE ONLY PRIORITY IS PUTTING FOOD ON THE TABLE MOST #AMBODIANS DO NOT HAVE THE LUXURY OF THINKING BEYOND THAT )NDEED THERE IS LITTLE CONCEPT OF A hFUTUREv IN #AMBODIAN CONSCIOUSNESS (EARTLESSNESS AND DECEIT ARE STILL SOME OF THE ONLY SALIENT SURVIVAL TRAITS hTRUSTv IS STILL A FOREIGN CONCEPT IN 0HNOM 0ENH 4HE RUTHLESSNESS OF MANY #AMBODIANS 4HE !RT OF #OEXISTENCE%THICS AND #OEXISTENCE 3TUDENT &ELLOWS IS MATCHED ONLY BY THEIR POLITICAL SUBORDINATION 4HOSE WHO HAVE LIVED THROUGH THE +HMER 2OUGE WANT STABILITY AT ALL COSTS 4HEY ARE WILLING TO ACCEPT hPEACEv AT THE EXPENSE OF JUSTICE 4HEY HAVE BEEN CONDITIONED NOT TO CAUSE POLITICAL TROUBLE AND THEY DONT )N CONTRAST YOUNG #AMBODIANS RIOT AND BURN DOWN BUILDINGS AS AN EXPRESSION OF THEIR FRUSTRATION WITH THEIR LIFE SITUATION )TS NOT QUITE NIHILISM ITS LIFE IN PERMANENT SURVIVAL MODE 4WO ALWAYS A DANCE PARTY h)F ) CANNOT DANCE ) WANT NO PART IN YOUR REVOLUTIONv n %MMA 'OLDMAN 0HNOM 0ENH IS A PLACE WHERE "UDDHIST MONKS GANG RAPE WOMEN 3AFFRON ROBES LEFT IN THE PAGODAS THEY DRESS IN STREET CLOTHES TO SEEM INCONSPICUOUS "UT EVERYBODY KNOWS 4HEIR BALD HEADS MIGHT TIP YOU OFF BUT THEIR SHAVED EYEBROWS ARE A DEAD GIVEAWAY -OST YOUNG #AMBODIAN MEN lND THIS TO BE A MORALLY JUSTIlABLE ACT SOME EVEN BELIEVE THEY ARE DOING THESE WOMEN A FAVOR h)TS THEIR JOBv THEY SAY 4HE GANG RAPE OF SEX WORKERS OR BAUK AS IT IS CALLED IN +HMER IS REGARDED AS A BONDING EXPERIENCE AMONG FRIENDS !MIDST THE CRIES OF PROSTITUTES BEING BEATEN BY POLICE BATONS FOR BEING UNABLE TO AFFORD THE PROPER BRIBE mOATS A FOOT HOUSEBOAT ON THE 4ON ,E 3AP 2IVER 4HE RIVER HEAVES AND GROWS DURING THE RAINY SEASON TO THE POINT WHERE THE WATER WEIGHS DOWN SO HEAVY ON THE SYSTEM THAT THE RIVER ACTUALLY mOWS BACKWARDS FOR A FEW MONTHS )T IS THE ONLY IN THE RIVER IN THE WORLD THAT COMPLETELY REVERSES ITS CURRENT 4HE BOAT USED TO BE HOME TO A DANCE CLUB 3HE HAS SINCE HAD A REVOLUTION AND IS NOW INHABITED BY ROUGHLY ACTIVISTS WHO COLLECTIVELY COMPRISE 7OMYNS !GENDA FOR #HANGE 7!# )T MIGHT NO LONGER BE A CLUB BUT THE DANCING HASNT STOPPED 4HE WEEK BEFORE MY ARRIVAL THEY HAD HAD A DANCE PARTY WITH UPWARDS OF TRANSGENDERED +HMERS IN ATTENDANCE !PPARENTLY IT WAS PRETTY CRAZY /LD +HMER LANGUAGE MAKES USE OF THREE GENDERED TERMS FEMALE MALE AND TRANSGENDER NOT NEUTER 4HERE WERE NO POLITICS TO BEING A TRANNIE TRANNIES JUST WERE 5PON THE ARRIVAL OF 7ESTERN MISSIONARIES THIS BEGAN TO CHANGE 4HE CONCEPT OF GENDER BINARIES WAS GRADUALLY NORMALIZED AND TRANSGENDERED +HMERS WERE GRADUALLY MARGINALIZED 7E WOULD LATER ENCOUNTER THE 0HNOM 0ENH TRANNIES DURING THEIR 3ATURDAY MORNING !PSARA DANCE LESSONS AT THE 7!# BOAT 4HEY SAY THAT THAT PLACE FEELS LIKE HOME ) DIDNT ACTUALLY GO TO 7!# UNTIL MY SECOND WEEK IN #AMBODIA 4HAT SAME WEEK ) WAS SITTING IN AN INTERNET CAF£ ALONG A STRIP OF ROAD THAT RUNS PARALLEL TO THE RIVER )T WAS A COUPLE BLOCKS DOWN FROM THE 4HAI RESTAURANT ) HAD BEEN AT EARLIER )T TURNS OUT THAT THERE WERE TWO MEN MURDERED THERE THAT NIGHT $ESPITE MY INITIAL ASSUMPTIONS IT HAD NOTHING TO DO WITH THEIR ETHNICITY 4HEY ATTEMPTED TO STEAL TWO MOTORBIKES AND THE POLICE SHOT THEM DEAD ON SIGHT ) ATE AND CHECKED MY EMAIL ON THAT STREET ALMOST EVERY DAY ! YOUNG BOY WALKED INSIDE AND TRIED TO SELL ME A GUIDEBOOK TO ,AOS &IVE MINUTES LATER ) HAD TAUGHT HIM HOW TO GIVE A HIGH lVETHE KIND WHERE YOU SLAP HANDS IN THE AIR AND THEN SWOOP DOWN IN AN ARCING MOTION AND SLAP HANDS AGAIN WHEN THEY MEET AT THE BOTTOM !FTER ANOTHER MINUTES OF LISTENING TO A 'ERMAN PUNK ROCK BAND CALLED )NNER #ONmICT HE GAVE ME MY HEADPHONES BACK SMILED AND SAID GOODBYE )N OUR SUBSEQUENT DAILY INTERACTIONS ) NEVER DID lGURE OUT WHAT TO CALL HIM %ACH TIME ) ASKED HE QUICKLY BLURTED WHAT SEEMED TO BE A DIFFERENT ONESYLLABLE NAME ) SOON GAVE UP TRYING TO LEARN IT ! FEW DAYS LATER WE STARTED TALKING IN THE STREET ON MY WAY TO THE 7!# BOAT ) SPED PAST THE CAFES AND MEN WITH KROMATH WRAPPED AROUND THEIR NECKS ON MY BICYCLE (IS FACE LIT UP FROM THE CURB HE NEARLY JUMPED DIRECTLY IN FRONT OF MY TIRE ) ENDED UP GIVING HIM DAILY RIDES ON THE BACK OF MY BIKE DOWN THE RIVER ON MY WAY TO WORK %ACH TIME WE PASSED ANYONE HE KNEW HE WOULD SHRIEK AS IF TO SAY h,OOK AT ME ) AM RIDING WITH A FAHRANv -AYBE SOMEWHERE DEEP INSIDE ) WANTED THE TOURISTS WE PASSED TO SEE ME WITH A +HMER BOY TOO TO DECLARE h,OOK )M NOT SOME ASSHOLE TOURIST LIKE YOU )M DIFFERENTv THOUGH ITS EMBARRASSING NOW AND ) WOULD NEVER HAVE ADMITTED THAT AT THE TIME 7E WOULD RIDE TO A PARTICULAR CORNER THAT WAS GOOD FOR BUSINESS AND HED HOP OFF 4HEN ) WOULD CONTINUE MY JOURNEY TO 7!# BY MYSELF 4HEY BEGAN TO TEAR UP THE ROAD SEVERAL BLOCKS AFTER MY FRIENDS DROP OFF POINT $URING THE ENTIRE MONTHS OF *ULY AND !UGUST SOME MAJOR SECTION OF ROAD ALONG THE RIVER WAS UNDER CONSTRUCTION ) DUCKED UNDER MAKESHIFT CAUTION TAPE AND RODE MY BIKE ON THE SIDEWALK AND GRASS NEXT TO IT ) USUALLY MANAGED TO EVADE THE COPS AS ) RODE THROUGH THE PERPETUAL CLOUD OF DUST WITH A BANDANA OVER MY FACE 3QUINTING MY EYES AS TIGHTLY AS POSSIBLE ) SURVIVED THE AIRBORNE DIRT /N THE OFF CHANCE ) WAS CAUGHT BY A COP ) WAS FORCED TO RIDE THE DETOUR ROUTE WITH THE MOTORBIKES 4HE DETOUR WAS COMPRISED OF MORE POTHOLES THAN ROAD ) SUPPOSE MY GREEN ONE SPEED BIKE WASNT IN SUCH GOOD SHAPE EITHER 4HE TUMULTUOUS THRASHING OF MY TIRES WOULD SOMETIMES JAR THE SEAT RIGHT OFF IT 0EOPLE ON MOTORBIKES AND RICKSHAWS WOULD SPEED PAST USUALLY LOOKING OVER THEIR SHOULDERS AT ME -OST WHITE PEOPLE DIDNT STAY IN #AMBODIA LONG ENOUGH TO ACQUIRE THEIR OWN TRANSPORTATION 4HOSE THAT DID HAD CARS ) OFTEN RODE BAREFOOT ! FEW BLOCKS AFTER THE END OF THE CONSTRUCTION AREA WAS A SPOT WHERE TWO MEN WOULD SPREAD OUT BLANKETS ON THE GRASS /N TOP WOULD BE AN ASSORTMENT OF TRINKETS MOSTLY CARVED ELEPHANTS AND "UDDHAS BUT ALSO PLASTIC GUNS AND BEADS 4HE POLICE REGULARLY STAKED OUT A SPOT A FEW FEET FURTHER DOWN FROM THEM WHERE THEY WOULD ARBITRARILY PULL OVER MOTORBIKE DRIVERS FOR BRIBES ) RODE PAST WITH EASE ) NEVER DID lGURE OUT IF IT WAS BECAUSE OF MY WHITE PRIVILEGE OR MY BIKE PRIVILEGE WHO PULLS OVER A BICYCLE *UST LIKE THE REST OF 0HNOM 0ENH THE LATENT SMELL OF BURNT GARBAGE HUNG IN THE AIR n NOT THE PUTRID KIND MORE LIKE THE PLEASANT SMELL OF CHARRED WOOD IN A lREPLACE YET TINGED WITH THE SMELL OF BURNT HAIR FOLLICLESxOR SOMETHING LIKE THAT )N THIS AREA THE SMELL WAS MIXED WITH THE SCENT OF HEAVY MACHINERY n DONATED #ATERPILLARS FROM *APAN "Y THE TIME THE SMELL OF CONSTRUCTION HAD DISSIPATED ) HAD ARRIVED AT MY DESTINATION 9OU COULD BARELY READ THE SIGN FROM THE ROAD 9OU DIDNT NEED TO EVERYONE KNEW WHAT THE 7!# BOAT WAS %VERYONE WHO MATTERED AT LEAST EVERY SEX WORKER TRANSSEXUAL !)$3 PATIENT AND PEACE ACTIVIST %VERY DAY ) WOULD PASS WOMEN IN THE SMALL SPACE OF LAND BETWEEN THE PARKING LOT IN FRONT OF THE 7!# BOAT AND THE DUST CLOUD CALLED THE ROAD &RUIT HUNG IN YELLOW NETTING FROM THE ROOFS OF THEIR WOODEN STANDS 4HE WOMENS WARES CONSISTED MOSTLY OF MONKEY BANANAS JACKFRUIT RAMBUTANS POMELLOS MANGOS AND MANGOSTEENS BUT OCCASIONALLY THEY HAD A DURIAN OR TWO AS WELL 4HEIR OFTENNAKED CHILDREN PLAYED SOCCER IN THE PARKING LOT AND CHEERFULLY CLIMBED ALL OVER ME AND MY BICYCLE WHENEVER ) ENTERED !DJACENT TO THE LOT ON THE RIGHT HAND SIDE WAS A SHANTY TOWN WHERE THE FRUITWOMEN AND THEIR FAMILIES LIVED IN TENTS MADE FROM SALVAGED TARPS AND MAKESHIFT HUTS /VER THE COURSE OF THE MONTH OF !UGUST ONE SUCH HUT WAS BUILT ON THE GRASS HILL LEADING UP FROM THE RIVER TO THE PARKING LOT ) WATCHED A FAMILY OF SIX SLOWLY CONSTRUCT IT FROM SCATTERED PIECES OF DRYWALL STYROFOAM CLOTH AND WOOD )T WAS ABOUT SIX FEET LONG ON EACH SIDE IT WAS SMALLER AND LESS STURDY THAN SOME OF THE FORTS ) BUILT AS A CHILD !T THE END OF THE RAINY SEASON THE RIVER COMPLETELY mOODS THE AREA UP TO THE PARKING LOT 4HEIR HOUSE IS LIKELY UNDERWATER AS ) WRITE THIS $IRECTLY BEHIND THE HOUSE WAS A CONCRETE WALL THAT HOLDS UP THE GROUND OVER WHAT WOULD OTHERWISE BE A LANDSLIDE INTO THE 4ON ,E 3AP 4HE PARKING LOT SAT PERPENDICULAR TO THE WALL AND ON ITS EDGE RESTED AN OLD GUARD TOWER h4OWERv SEEMS TO CONFER MAGNITUDE AND HEIGHT SOMETHING THAT CERTAINLY DOES NOT CHARACTERIZE THIS STRUCTURE )T WAS A BOOTH )T WAS ALSO ABOUT SIX FEET ON EACH SIDE 4HE BOOTH WAS SQUATTED BY A FAMILY OF lVE &OUND 0EPSI ADVERTISEMENT CANVASSES WERE STRETCHED OUT FROM THE ROOF TO USE AS RAIN mAPS COVERING THE SHODDY SLEEPING BENCH IN FRONT 4HERE WAS NOT ENOUGH ROOM TO SLEEP INSIDE 4O THE LEFT OF THE BOOTH STOOD A WOODEN BRIDGE EXTENDING FROM THE LOT TO THE EDGE OF THE RIVER !T THE END LAY THE BASE OF ANOTHER BRIDGE WHICH TRANSFORMS INTO A STAIRCASE WHEN THE RIVER RISES 3HAFTS OF SUNLIGHT SIFTED THROUGH THE CLOUDS DOWN TO EARTH UNTIL THEY LANDED AND REmECTED OFF OF THE SHEET METAL ROOlNG ON THE TOP OF THE 7!# BOAT ) FEEL COMPELLED TO DESCRIBE IT AS A hBEACON OF LIGHTv BUT REALLY IT WAS TOO RUSTY FOR THAT 4HE FADED SIGN PROCLAIMED h7OMYNS !GENDA FOR #HANGEv IN PEELING STICKER LETTERS )N THE BACKGROUND THE NAME OF THE OLD DANCE CLUB WAS VISIBLE ENOUGH TO NOT BE ABLE TO DECIPHER THE MEANING BUT ONLY TO TAKE NOTE OF ITS GHOST 4HE +HMER WORDS WERE STILL THERE WRITTEN IN THE DIRT THAT COLLECTED ON THE STICKY REMAINDER OF WHAT USED TO BE DECAL LETTERS %NTERING THE BOAT FOR THE lRST TIME WAS NOSTALGIC AND NEW AT THE SAME TIME ) DIDNT KNOW ANYONE THERE AND DIDNT KNOW WHAT TO EXPECT 4HEN ) BEGAN TO LOOK AROUND AND THOUGHT h(EY ) HAVE THAT POSTER !ND THAT POSTER !ND THAT POSTER !ND IS THAT AN ANARCHY SYMBOLv ! WOMAN SMILED AND WAVED 3HE STOOD ABOUT AS HIGH AS MY NOSE (ER NAME WAS 0HOUNG !FTER INTRODUCING HERSELF SHE EXPLAINED THAT SHE WAS A 3ENIOR 0ROGRAM /FlCER IN )NTERNATIONAL #ENTER FOR %THICS *USTICE AND 0UBLIC ,IFE CHARGE OF 7!#S SEX WORKER EMPOWERMENT PROJECT $AN ,EAH AND ) SAT DOWN ON PILLOWS IN THE MIDDLE OF THE mOOR UNDER A DISCO BALL AND STAGE LIGHTS /N THE WALL BEHIND A STAGE A PROJECTOR PLAYED SEVERAL 0OWER0OINTS ILLUSTRATING THE PLIGHT OF #AMBODIAN WOMEN !FTER FOUR EMOTIONALLY DRAINING PRESENTATIONS SHE WAVED US OVER TO THE ADJACENT COUCHES SURROUNDING A TABLE 6ASES WITH BEAUTIFUL PAINTINGS OF (O #HI -INH AND -AO 4SE 4UNG SERVED AS PAPERWEIGHTS HOLDING DOWN 2EVOLUTIONARY !SSOCIATION OF THE 7OMEN OF !FGHANISTAN 2!7! PAMPHLETS AND THE MOST RECENT ISSUES OF THE .EW )NTERNATIONALIST AND 'REEN ,EFT 7EEKLY 0HOUNG GAVE US TEA AND ASKED IF WE HAD ANY QUESTIONS ) HAD MANY 7E WERE SOON JOINED BY A 6UTHY ANOTHER 3ENIOR 0ROGRAM /FlCER WHO DIRECTED THE RESEARCH ON DEBT AND NEOLIBERALISM (E WORE AN ANTI)-& SHIRT HE GOT AT A DEMONSTRATION IN 7ASHINGTON $# A FEW YEARS EARLIER ) HAD BEEN AT THE SAME PROTEST AND HAD MARCHED WITH THE GROUP THAT SILKSCREENED THAT SHIRT 4IEN THE THIRD 3ENIOR 0ROGRAM /FlCER AND DIRECTOR OF THE 'ARMENT 7ORKER PROJECT WASNT THERE THAT DAY /N THE OTHER SIDE OF THE ROOM SAT 3OCHEATA 3OKUNTHY 0AGNA AND +ADEAI ALL TYPING AT COMPUTERS 4HEY WERE ALL ROUGHLY MY AGE AND SEEMED INTENSELY FOCUSED ON THEIR WORK WHEN THEY WERENT CRACKING JOKES ! TALL WOMAN WITH LONG DARK HAIR AND HIGH CHEEKBONES STOPPED SWEEPING THE mOOR TO LAUGH WITH THE KIDS )T TOOK ME ABOUT TWO WEEKS TO lGURE OUT THAT HER JOB WAS A CLEANER ) HAD ALWAYS ASSUMED 3OPHEAP WAS A HEAD PROGRAM OFlCER WHO JUST ENJOYED SWEEPING UP 3HE WAS TREATED NO DIFFERENTLY THAN ANYONE ELSE AT 7!# HER PROlLE AND JOB DESCRIPTION SAT RIGHT NEXT TO 2OSANNAS ON THEIR DIRECTORY WHICH ) DIDNT READ UNTIL MY LAST WEEK THERE -ATTS DESK WAS IN A SMALL ROOM NEXT TO THE STAGE (E WAS A TWENTYSOMETHING ETHNICALLYAMBIGUOUS !USTRALIAN EXPAT -ATTS SARCASM WAS BOTH COMPELLING AND OFFPUTTING ) HAD MET HIM A FEW DAYS EARLIER AT 2OSANNAS RIVER HOUSE AND WATCHED HIM CHAIN SMOKE CIGARETTES WHILE EXPLAINING 7!#S WORK 4HAT SAME DAY ) MET !NNA AND 3ARA TWO INTERNS FROM SOME LAW SCHOOL IN -ICHIGAN 4HEY WERE ONLY THERE FOR A COUPLE MONTHS DURING THE SUMMER UNLIKE 3ANUSHKA 3ANUSHKA WAS AN )NDIAN!USTRALIAN INTERN SENT TO 7!# BY /XFAM!USTRALIA ON A YOUTH PROGRAM 3HE SPENT HALF HER TIME AT ANOTHER OFlCE AND HALF HER TIME AT A TABLE ADJACENT TO 2OSANNAS DOOR 2OSANNA WASNT IN THAT DAY )M NOT SURE WHERE SHE WAS $URING THE MONTH OF *ULY SHE WAS RARELY ON THE BOAT SHE USUALLY GAVE PRESENTATIONS TO 0ARLIAMENT ) SAW HER ALMOST AS OFTEN AT HER HOUSE AS ) DID AT 7!# 4HREE ALIVE )F ) CANNOT HAVE A 2EVOLUTION WHAT IS THERE TO DANCE ABOUT n !LBERT -ELTZER ! TUK TUK IS KIND OF LIKE THE CONFUSED MARRIAGE OF A GOLF CART AND A MOTORBIKE )TS A BIT SLOWER AND MORE AWKWARD TO MANEUVER BUT CAN ALSO SEAT FOUR PEOPLE OR IN THE CASE OF #AMBODIANS ABOUT TEN IF THEY CAN STUFF THEMSELVES IN PROPERLY )NGRID HAD 4HE !RT OF #OEXISTENCE%THICS AND #OEXISTENCE 3TUDENT &ELLOWS ARRANGED FOR ONE TO TAKE $AN AND ME TO 2OSANNAS RIVER HOUSE OUR lRST WEEKEND THERE )NGRID DIRECTED THE 2EYUM )NSTITUTE OF !RTS AND #ULTURE ANOTHER .'/ ) WORKED AT THAT SUMMER ) LIVED IN HER APARTMENT ACROSS THE STREET FROM THE .ATIONAL -USEUM 4HE TUK TUK WAS WAITING THERE FOR US 7E SPUTTERED DOWN THE ROAD IN FRONT OF THE MUSEUM AND TOOK A RIGHT UNTIL WE SWOOPED AROUND THE TEMPLE 7AT 0HNOM -ONKEYS RAN ALONG THE TELEPHONE WIRES THAT STRETCHED AROUND THE ISLAND OF GRASS HOUSING THE PAGODA 7E TRUDGED ONWARD AND UPWARD OVER THE *APANESE &RIENDSHIP "RIDGE ! COLLEAGUE AT 2EYUM WOULD LATER TELL ME THAT HEARTBROKEN MEN REGULARLY THROW THEMSELVES OFF THE BRIDGE ADDING TO THE BODIES LYING AT THE BOTTOM OF THE 4ON ,E 3AP /UR TUK TUK GASPED FOR BREATH AS WE COVERED OUR EYES FROM THE DUST KICKED UP BY MOTORBIKES ZOOMING BY US ON THE PEDESTRIAN CURB ) HAD FORGOTTEN TO MASK UP /NCE WE REACHED THE OTHER SIDE THE CITY NOISES STOPPED ) GUESS IT WAS TECHNICALLY STILL 0HNOM 0ENH BUT WE WERE IN THE COUNTRYSIDE 4HE ROADS LOST ALL PRETENSE OF PAVING 3TILTED WOODEN HOUSES DANGLED OVER THE WET RICE lELDS TO THE LEFT -ANY LOOKED AS IF THEY WERE ON THE BRINK OF COLLAPSE $USTY SHOPS AND BANANA TREES LINED THE RIGHT 7E lRST PASSED A SIGN GRAPHICALLY DEPICTING A CRYING BLACK BEAR GETTING ITS BLOODY HANDS CHOPPED OFF 4HEN ONE FOR THE NEW !MERICANSTYLE SUBURB DEVELOPMENT COMPLETE WITH A MAP OF GRID LIKE STREETS 7HEN WE PULLED ONTO A SMALL MUDDY PATH EVERYWHERE WE COULD LOOK WAS GREEN 4HE CHICKENS DUCKED FOR COVER THE DOGS BARKED AND THE CHILDREN SHRIEKED h(ELLOv 4HEY WOULD SCREAM @HELLO AT ANY WHITE PERSON IN SIGHT 2OSANNA HAD ONCE TRIED TO TEACH THEM TO YELL h3-!3( #!0)4!,)3-v INSTEAD BUT IT NEVER REALLY CAUGHT ON 7E PULLED INTO THE GATE OF HER RIVER HOUSE )T WAS THE lRST OF WHAT WOULD BE MANY VISITS 2OSANNA SAID THAT ONCE A REPORTER ASKED IF HE COULD INTERVIEW HER ON THE hHARDSHIPS AND STRUGGLES OF LIVING AS AN AID WORKER IN #AMBODIAv 3HE REFUSED h,IFE ISNT A STRUGGLE FOR ME IN THE SLIGHTEST 7HY IN THE WORLD WOULD THEY WANT TO FOCUS ON ME INSTEAD OF THE WOMEN HERE WHO ARE SUFFERING EVERY DAYv 2O DIDNT HAVE THE WHITE GUILT THAT PLAGUED MANY LIBERALS FROM THE 3TATES 3HE LIVED HER LIFE ON HER OWN COMPLETELY UNAPOLOGETIC TERMS (ER HOME AT lRST STRUCK ME AS CRASS HYPOCRISY )T WAS GORGEOUS 4HE RIVER HOUSE WAS STILTED LIKE THOSE OF HER NEIGHBORS 9ET UNLIKE THE NEIGHBORS HOMES HERS WAS MADE FROM STURDY SHELLACKED 4EAK WOOD 4HE ARCHITECTURE WAS MOSTLY 4HAI )T WAS MAINTAINED BY LIVE IN GROUNDSKEEPERS ) SCRATCHED MY HEAD AND THOUGHT h3OCIALISTS DONT HAVE SERVANTS 7HAT KIND OF PLACE IS THISv ) WAS SKEPTICALx BUT SUBSEQUENT SLEEPOVERS WOULD SOFTEN ME UP /NE MORNING ) WOKE TO WATCH THE SUN RISE ,YING ON A RED 6IETNAMESE HAMMOCK ) WATCHED MAGENTA RAYS POKE THROUGH MANGROVE AND PALM BRANCHES TO PENETRATE THE BRIGHT BLUE MORNING -EKONG WATER 4HE SILHOUETTE OF A lSHING CANOE mOATED BY ! MAN WITH A LARGE NET STOOD AT THE BOW WHILE HIS TODDLER SAT AT THE BACK "IRDS SANG INSECTS CHIRPED ROOSTERS CROWED THE OCCASIONAL DOG HOWLED AND THE WATER SWIRLED AND GLISTENED WITH THE CURRENT 2OS HOUSE WASNT THE DECADENT DISPLAY OF WEALTH THAT ) HAD lRST IMAGINED )T WAS MORE LIKE A SIMPLE JUNGLE HIDEAWAY )TS NOT ACTUALLY HER RIVER HOUSE )TS A COLLECTIVE AND FOUR OTHER PEOPLE LIVE THERE AS WELL 7AR 2ACISM AND %CONOMIC )NJUSTICE BY &IDEL #ASTRO LAY ON THE BOOKSHELF NEXT TO AN !PSARA CARVING )T HAD THE SAME COVER ART AS THE DEBUT %0 OF A HARDCORE PUNK BAND FROM BACK HOME CALLED $IALLO -OST OF 2OSANNAS POSSESSIONS SEEMED TO BE BOOKS &RUIT AND mOWER BEARING TREES SURROUNDED THE HOME #HICKENS FROM NEIGHBORING HOUSES OFTEN WANDERED INTO THE YARD PECKING AT THE GROUND FOR WORMS OR WHATEVER CHICKENS EAT 2OS COLLECTIVE ALSO ENCOMPASSED A SMALL SIMPLE GUESTHOUSE THAT THEY LOANED OUT TO RESIDENT ARTISTS OR PEOPLE WRITING NOVELS (AMMOCKS WERE STRUNG BETWEEN mOOD POSTS AND WALLS CONSISTED MOSTLY OF OPENED SCREENED WINDOWS 4HERE WAS NO AIR CONDITIONING BUT THE RIVER BROUGHT COOL AIR EVERY NIGHT ,ARGE MULTICOLORED GECKOS LIVED IN THE RAFTERS AND OCCASIONALLY CAME DOWN TO GREET US 7HEN CONFRONTED WITH THE hSERVANT QUESTIONv 2OSANNA EXPLAINED THAT SHE BELIEVES IN EQUITABLE DISTRIBUTION OF LABOR 3HE WOULD RATHER DEDICATE HER TIME TO lGHTING IMPERIALISM THAN TO RAINPROOlNG THE DECK 3O INSTEAD SHE HIRES PEOPLE AND PAYS THEM VERY WELL WITH REPRESENTATION AND FULL BENElTS 4HEY ARE PROBABLY THE ONLY PEOPLE IN #AMBODIA WHO DO HOUSEWORK AND GET FULL HEALTH INSURANCE 4HEIR RELATIONSHIP TO 2O IS ONE OF RESPECT AND DIGNITY 3HE CAN BE INTIMIDATING IF NOT DOWNRIGHT SCARY TO MOST PEOPLE 5PON LEARNING THAT ) WAS A h"RANDEIS %THICS AND #OEXISTENCE 3TUDENT &ELLOWv 2OSANNA LOOKED ME IN THE EYE AND mATLY STATED h&UCK COEXISTENCEv 3HE DOESNT PUT UP WITH ANY BULLSHIT 2OSANNA "ARBAREO IS AN !USTRALIAN EXPAT WHO HAS LIVED IN #AMBODIA FOR OVER A DECADE 3HE WAS AN ACTIVE MEMBER OF THE !USSIE #OMMUNIST PARTY AT THE AGE OF !FTER ORGANIZING FACTORY WORKERS SHE GREW TO EMBRACE THE !USTRALIAN 3OCIAL $EMOCRATS THROUGH WHICH SHE ADOPTED #AMBODIA AS ONE OF THEIR hOUTREACHv COUNTRIES !S TIME WENT ON SHE BECAME MORE AND MORE INVOLVED IN #AMBODIAN SOCIAL CHANGE EVENTUALLY SETTING UP PERMANENT RESIDENCE IN 0HNOM 0ENH 3HE HAS BEEN THE DIRECTOR OF 7!# EVER SINCE 2O HAS SUSTAINED A HEALTHY POLYAMOROUS RELATIONSHIP OVER THE COURSE OF YEARS WITH HER SARCASTIC HUSBAND 0ETE 4HE SLEEVELESS DRESSES SHE WEARS PROUDLY DISPLAY HER BROWN ARMPIT HAIR 3HE IS A STRICT VEGETARIAN !ND SHE INTRODUCED ME TO #ES #ES -ILLADO IS A &ILIPINO !)$3 ACTIVIST LIVING IN 0HNOM 0ENH ) MET HER AT THE RIVER HOUSE 3HE HAD JUST COME BACK FROM DOING WORKSHOPS ALL OVER #HINA !FTER INTRODUCING HERSELF HER SMILE MOVED HER CHEEK MUSCLES SO HIGH UP HER FACE THAT HER GLASSES ALMOST SLIPPED OFF #ES HUGGED ME AND OFFERED SOME "URMESE TEA SHE GOT ON HER TRAVELS )T TASTED A LITTLE LIKE HOT CHOCOLATE !FTER AN HOUR OF JOKING AROUND WITH HER CURLED UP ON THE COUCH WITH "URMESE TEA SHE FELT LIKE AN OLD FRIEND (ER HUMOR IS INTOXICATINGSHE THINKS EVERYTHING IS FUNNY WHICH MAKES IT ACTUALLY FUNNY (ER LAUGHTER IS JOVIAL WHILE SIMULTANEOUSLY EARNEST AND SINCERE 7HEN YOU SPEAK TO #ES YOU KNOW SHE IS REALLY LISTENING 3HE CARES ABOUT WHAT YOU HAVE TO SAY 3HE IS A LARGE WOMAN ) DONT MEAN TO USE THE WORD hLARGEv AS A EUPHEMISM FOR hFATvSHE ISNT "UT HER SIZE CARRIES A VIBRANCY THAT WAS UNMISTAKABLE #ES IS ALIVE 2OSANNA BY CONTRAST IS THIN TO THE POINT OF FRAILTY 7HILE #ESS VITALITY IS ENCAPSULATED IN HER PHYSICALLY 2OSANNAS PASSIONATE VIVACITY SEEMS TO CONTRADICT HER SMALL FRAME /NE DOESNT ANTICIPATE THE PROFANITY THAT LIES BEHIND HER WRY SMILE (ER WORDS ALWAYS RING WITH DIRECTION INTENTION AND FOCUS 3HE ALSO LIKES TO LAUGH "OTH 2O AND #ES DANCE SILLY AND THEY GIVE FANTASTIC HUGS 4HEY STARTED ) NEVER DID lGURE OUT HIS NAME 7!# TOGETHER BACK WHEN IT WAS A PROJECT OF /XFAM (ONG +ONG #ES EVENTUALLY LEFT TO DO HER OWN FREELANCING AS AN !)$3 EDUCATOR ORGANIZER AND WORKSHOP FACILITATOR 3HE IS IN VERY HIGH DEMAND 2OSANNA IS NOW THE MAIN 7!# COORDINATOR &OUR IMPOSTOR COSTUME h4HEY BREAK OUR LEGS AND WE SAY @THANK YOU WHEN THEY OFFER US CRUTCHESv #HUMBAWAMBA 4HE lRST TIME ) SAW 2OSANNA FOR MORE THAN lVE MINUTES WAS AT )NGRIDS RIVER HOUSE 4HE SUN HAD ALREADY SET 'IGI WAS WEARING HER DECEPTIVE SMILETHE KIND THAT MAKES YOU THINK SHE IS A FRIENDLY DOG THAT WANTS A PAT ON THE HEAD 3HE DOES NOT 4HAT NIGHT SHE WAS PARTICULARLY ANXIOUS FOR SOME REASON !S 'IGI DARTED AROUND OUR LEGS BARKING AND GROWLING AND BARKING THE MOSQUITOES HAD ALREADY BEGUN TO DART AROUND OUR HEADS ,IKE WITH 'IGI YOU EXPECTED THEM TO BITE BUT CURIOUSLY THEY NEVER REALLY DID )NGRID AND 2OSANNA WERE TALKING ABOUT THE NEIGHBORS BABY WATER BUFFALO BUT ) WASNT REALLY PAYING ATTENTION -ESMERIZED BY THE MOONS REmECTION ON THE BLACK -EKONG WATER ) GAZED OFF THE EDGE OF THE PORCH UNTIL A PARTICULAR CONVERSATION JOLTED ME BACK TO ATTENTION 4HE VOLUME OF )NGRIDS VOICE DROPPED )T SHARPENED WITH SERIOUSNESS h0EOPLE MIGHT BE NICE TO YOU "UT YOU CANT TRUST ANYONE HERE $ONT FOOL YOURSELF INTO THINKING RELATIONSHIPS ARE GENUINE 0EOPLE MIGHT LIKE YOU AND BE FRIENDS WITH YOU BUT THEY ALWAYS HAVE ULTERIOR MOTIVES ON TOP OF IT )TS JUST HOW THINGS ARE ITS JUST THE SITUATION BEING A 7ESTERNER IN #AMBODIA %VERYONE IS TRYING TO GET SOMETHING OUT OF YOU 4HEY WILL SELL YOU OUT IN A SECOND IF IT CAN GET THEM A DOLLARv )T WAS OUR FOURTH DAY THERE BUT BOTH $AN AND ) WERE ALREADY FAMILIAR WITH )NGRIDS CYNICISM (ALF OF ME TOOK HER )NTERNATIONAL #ENTER FOR %THICS *USTICE AND 0UBLIC ,IFE ADVICE TO HEART 4HE OTHER HALF DISMISSED IT OUT OF HAND !LL OF ME LOOKED DOWN ON IT 4HE lRST THING THAT CAME TO MIND WAS A SCENE FROM 3PIDER -AN ) THOUGHT OF THE VIVID IMAGE OF (ARRY /SBOURNES FATHERTHE ARCHETYPE OF THE WHITE DISTANT EVIL RULING CLASS BILLIONAIREDRESSED IN A BOURGEOIS BLACK BUSINESS SUIT (IS CONTORTED FACE SNARLED h4HEYgRE ALL BEAUTIFUL READY TO ROCK UNTIL THEY START SNIFlNG AROUND YOUR TRUST FUND LIKE A PACK OF RAVENING WOLVESv ) FELT MY FACE mUSH WITH EMBARRASSMENT FROM IMAGINING AN !MERICAN POP CULTURAL REFERENCE TO ILLUMINATE A POLITICAL INTERPRETATION OF WHAT )NGRID SAID .OBODY NOTICED )T WAS DARK OUT -EETING PEOPLE IN 0HNOM 0ENH WAS OFTEN REFRESHINGLY STRAIGHTFORWARD "ACK IN THE 5NITED 3TATES PEOPLE PLAY STRANGE SOCIAL GAMES .OBODY WANTS TO BE TOO ENTHUSIASTIC OFF THE BAT 3HOWING TOO MUCH INTEREST 4HATS WEIRD )NDIFFERENCE IS HIP #AMBODIANS NEVER LEARNED HOW TO BE HIP -ANY LOOK YOU STRAIGHT IN THE EYE AND SAY h) WANT TO MAKE A FRIEND WITH YOU IS THAT OKAYv AT THE END OF A lRST CONVERSATION )F YOU ANSWER hYESv IT OFTEN PROMPTS THEM TO DECLARE h7E ARE BEST FRIENDSv AS OFTEN AS POSSIBLE ) TOOK IT TO BE AN ENDEARING CULTURAL DIFFERENCE ) DIDNT REALIZE WHAT ) WAS GETTING MYSELF INTO )T QUICKLY BECAME APPARENT THAT MANY #AMBODIANS SOUGHT MY FRIENDSHIP BECAUSE ) WAS A 7ESTERNER h4HATS OKAYv ) THOUGHT )T DOESNT MEAN THEY DONT WANT TO BE FRIENDS WITH ME FOR ME (AD ) SEEN A CRUST PUNK WALKING DOWN THE STREETS OF 0HNOM 0ENH ) MOST CERTAINLY WOULD HAVE APPROACHED HERHIM BY VIRTUE OF THEIR PUNKNESS 4HAT DOESNT CHEAPEN THE INTERACTION ) WOULD LATER USE THE SAME LOGIC TO RATIONALIZE MY OWN ENTHUSIASM FOR MY FRIENDSHIP WITH A MONK BY VIRTUE OF HIS MONKHOOD #ES h) GOT ANOTHER EMAIL FROM HIMv h7HOv h4HAT GUY (AK 3RUN ) TOLD YOU ABOUTv !BOUT A MONTH AND A HALF AFTER THAT CONVERSATION WITH )NGRID AT HER RIVER HOUSE ) WAS IN 3IEM 2EAP 4HATS A NORTHERN #AMBODIAN PROVINCE AND HOME OF THE ANCIENT !NGKOR 7AT TEMPLES ) WAS STAYING AT THE !NGKOR #ENTURY (OTEL WITH MY VISITING PARENTS 7E ARRIVED AT DUSK n AROUND PM ) WAS UP LATE FRANTICALLY WRITING AN EMAIL TO MY THENPARTNER #LAIRE TO THE BACKDROP OF THE )NTERNATIONAL .OISE #ONSPIRACY SONG h)MPOSTOR #OSTUMEv ! TALL MAN WITH HIGH CHEEKBONES AND A MAROON UNIFORM SAUNTERED OVER AND AWKWARDLY STOOD OVER ME 0ULLED FROM THE HAZE OF MY EMOTIONAL KEYPOUNDING ) LOOKED UP AND SMILED 5PON RECEIVING MY SMILE HE RETURNED ONE TWICE AS WIDE ) COULDNT LET HIM OUTDO ME ) SAW HIS SMILE AND RAISED HIM TWO DIMPLES (E SAW MY DIMPLES AND RAISED ME HIS LIPS DISPLAYING HIS SLIGHTLY OUTOF LINE MOTHER OF PEARL TEETH 4HE !RT OF #OEXISTENCE%THICS AND #OEXISTENCE 3TUDENT &ELLOWS 7E HAD SURELY BROKEN OUT OF OUR POKER FACES ) OFFERED HIM MY EARPHONES (E LOOKED AT ME IN DISBELIEF (AK 3RUN WOULD LATER TELL ME h.OBODY EVER TALK TO ME UNLESS IT IS FOR HOTEL THINGSv ) WAS THE lRST 7ESTERNER WHO INTERACTED WITH HIM ON SOCIAL TERMS BEYOND HIS ROLE AS A SERVICE AGENT 7EARING MY EARPHONES HE STARTED ROCKING OUT AND ) TURNED MY ATTENTION BACK TO MY IMPASSIONED EMAIL 7HEN THE #$ ENDED HE ASKED h-AY ) MAKE A FRIEND WITH YOUv h/F COURSEv (IS EYES WIDENED h) THINK ) AM VERY LUCKY TO HAVE A SPECIAL FRIEND LIKE YOU ) HAVE NEVER HAD A FRIEND LIKE YOU BEFOREv 3MILING ) REPLIED h) HAVE NEVER HAD A FRIEND LIKE YOU BEFORE EITHERv (E QUICKLY BEGAN TRIPPING OVER HIS WORDS h)x) WANT )x9OUx)xv )NHALE $EEP BREATH h$O YOU LIKE DANCINGv h3UREv h) WOULD LIKE TO TAKE YOU DANCINGxAND YOUR MOTHER TOOxNIGHTxTOMORROWv ) TOLD HIM THAT ) WOULD LOVE TO BUT WAS UNSURE IF WE COULD 7E WERE TO WAKE AT AM AND HIKE AROUND JUNGLE AND TEMPLES ALL DAY )N ALL LIKELIHOOD WE WOULD BE WORN OUT BY THE TIME WE GOT BACK (E IMMEDIATELY STARTED BACKPEDALING AS IF HE BELIEVED HE HAD OVERSTEPPED HIS BOUNDS h) AM SORRY $O NOT WORRY YOU DO NOT NEED TO COME IT OKAY IF YOU CANNOT BUT IF YOU CAN IT GOOD BUT IF YOU CANNOT IT OKAYv ) REASSURED HIM THAT ) APPRECIATED HIS INVITATIONTHAT )D LOVE TO GO IF ) WERE ABLE "EFORE WE SAID GOODNIGHT HE PROCLAIMED ME HIS hBEST FRIENDv 4HE NEXT NIGHT MY MOTHER AND ) WERE TOO TIRED TO ACCOMPANY HIM h9OU GOT ANOTHER EMAIL FROM HIMv #ES FROWNED h7HAT HAPPENED AGAIN (E WAS KIND OF STALKING YOU RIGHTv h7ELL THAT lRST DAY MY PARENTS AND ) TRUDGED BACK INTO THE HOTEL EXHAUSTED ) DIDNT EVEN SEE HIM AT THE COUNTER BUT ) GUESS HE SAW ME WALK INxOR HE ASKED HIS COWORKERS TO KEEP A LOOKOUT FOR ME OR SOMETHING ) DONT KNOW "UT THE VERY SECOND ) OPENED THE DOOR THE PHONE RANG )T WAS (AK 3RUN (E WASNT EVEN REALLY SAYING ANYTHING IT JUST SEEMED LIKE HE WAS STRUGGLING FOR CONTACT )N EVERY CONVERSATION WE HAD HE REPEATED @) DO NOT WANT YOU TO FORGET ME *OSH $O NOT FORGET MEv h9OU KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS RIGHT *OSHv ) DIDNT RESPOND TO HER ) WAS RANTING AT THIS POINT h#ES DO YOU KNOW WHAT HE TOLD MEv $URING MY SECOND NIGHT IN 3IEM 2EAP (AK 3RUN HAD TOLD ME THAT HE HAD CALLED HIS FATHER IN #AN 4HO 0ROVINCE 0HONE CALLS IN #AMBODIA ARE EXPENSIVE ESPECIALLY IF YOU CAN HARDLY AFFORD TO EAT h) CALLED MY FATHER AND TELL HIM ) MADE A !MERICAN FRIEND !ND YOU ARE MY BEST FRIEND (E TOLD ME @#ONGRATULATIONS 9OU MAKE ME VERY HAPPY *OSH ) DO NOT WANT YOU TO SAY YOU LIKE ME BUT THEN LATER WITH OTHER PEOPLE DO NOT LIKE ME ) WANT YOU TO REMEMBER ME 9OU ARE MY BEST FRIEND 9OU MAKE ME VERY HAPPYv ) NERVOUSLY SMILED (E WAS OBLIVIOUS TO MY DISCOMFORT (AK 3RUN WENT ON TO EXPLAIN THAT HE HAD A COUSIN THAT LIVED IN 0HNOM 0ENH )NSTINCTIVELY IMPULSIVELY PERFUNCTORILY ) REPLIED h)F YOU COME TO TOWN WE SHOULD GET LUNCHv 3OMEHOW THAT OFFER TURNED INTO A TENTATIVE PLAN FOR HIM TO COME DOWN AND STAY WITH ME IN 0HNOM 0ENH 7E WOULD THEN BOTH TRAVEL TO HIS HOME PROVINCE OF #AN 4HO AND ) WOULD MEET HIS FAMILY #ES SKEPTICALLY RAISED HER EYEBROWS h7HY DID YOU GIVE HIM THE IDEA THAT YOU WOULD TAKE A TRIPv ) SHRUGGED h)T SEEMED LIKE IT WOULD BE FUN ) LIKED THE IDEA AND WANTED TO DO IT "UT ) ALSO DIDNT REALLY TAKE IT TOO SERIOUSLY ) DUNNO IF ) REALLY THOUGHT IT WOULD ACTUALLY HAPPENv h3O YOU LIKED THE IDEA BEFORE HE GOT INTENSEv h9EAH BEFORE HE STARTED POUNCING ON ME EVERY TIME ) SET FOOT WITHIN METERSv h9OU CANT LEAD #AMBODIANS ON THAT WAY *OSHv 4HE WAY SHE SPOKE SEEMED OFFENSIVE BUT ) KNEW IT WAS TRUE (AK 3RUN BECAME MORE AND MORE ZEALOUSLY ATTACHED h(E KEPT GOING ON AND ON ABOUT HOW HE WANTED TO GIVE ME A GIFT TO DEMONSTRATE HIS LOVE FOR ME (E HAS NO MONEY #ES /N MY THIRD ;AND LAST= DAY THERE ) GAVE HIM GIFTS OF VARIOUS ITEMS LIKE MOUTHWASH SLIPPERS AND TOOTHPASTE (E FORGOT HIS PRESENT FOR ME (E SAID IT WAS A SMALL ELEPHANT CARVINGv 3HE NODDED AND MOVED HER HAND IN A CIRCULAR MOTION AS IF TO SAY @9EAH YEAH GET ON WITH THE STORY ) CONTINUED h7HEN HE REALIZED THAT HE HAD FORGOTTEN HIS PRESENT HE STARTED mAILING AROUND THE ROOM LIKE WE WERE IN A BOMB RAID (E REALLY FREAKED OUT (E ASSUMED ) WOULD THINK HE HAD BEEN LYING THE WHOLE TIME ABOUT THE PRESENT ) TOLD HIM ) DIDNT NEED IT BUT HE WOULDNT ACCEPT THAT ) SAID THAT IF HE WANTED TO HE COULD MAIL IT TO ME ) ASKED IF HE HAD A MAILBOX (E SAID @9ES)x) MEAN NO ) WILL BUY ONEv #ES THREW UP HER ARMS IN FRUSTRATION h4HIS GUY COULDNT AFFORD RENT IN HIS BROKEN DOWN SHACK AND HE WAS GOING TO BUY A MAILBOX 4HATS LUDICROUSv h4HATS WHAT ) TOLD HIM 4HEN ) SAID THAT IF WE SAW EACH OTHER AGAIN HE COULD GIVE IT TO ME THEN 4HAT WAS MY WAY OUT ) ALWAYS QUALIlED ALL MY STATEMENTS ABOUT THATIF ) HAVE TIME YOU CAN COME IF )NGRID DOESNT MIND YOU CAN STAY IF )M NOT BUSY )D LIKE TO GO WITH YOUxv #ES LOOKED DISAPPOINTED IN ME h3HOW ME HIS PICTURE AGAINv ) PULLED OUT THE X INCH PHOTOGRAPH HE GAVE ME SO THAT @) WOULDNT FORGET HIM h*OSH YOU NEED TO BREAK CONTACT WITH HIMv h7HYv ) WAS STILL TALKING TO HIM OVER THE INTERNET ABOUT THE POSSIBILITY OF HIM VISITING h*OSH HE DOESNT CARE ABOUT YOU (E CARES ABOUT WHAT YOU REPRESENTv 3HE SIGHED AND HER TONE WAVERED AS IF SHE WERE SPEAKING TO A CHILD .OT IN A CONDESCENDING MANNER BUT IN AN IMPLORING ONE h(E IS NOT ASKING YOU TO BE HIS FRIEND (E IS ASKING YOU TO BE HIS PATRON 9OU REPRESENT TRAVEL OPPORTUNITIES MONEY UPWARD MOBILITY (E HAS A VISION OF WHAT THIS FRIENDSHIP MEANS AND HE IS NOT GOING TO LET GO OF IT UNLESS YOU LET HIM GOv ) DIDNT WANT TO ) KNEW IT WOULD HURT HIM IT FELT LIKE IT WAS GOING TO BE A ROUGH BREAKUP ) KNEW #ES WAS RIGHT 3HE ALWAYS IS 3HE ELABORATED h9OU HAVE TO UNDERSTAND YOUR SOCIAL POSITION AS A 7ESTERNER AS AN OUTSIDER 7ITH THE EXCEPTION OF THE PEOPLE WHO HAVE HAD IT SOCIALIZED OUT OF THEMLIKE THE KIDS AT 7!# FOR EXAMPLEEVERYONE SEES YOU AS A POTENTIAL SOURCE OF INCOMEv 7OW 4HOSE WERE THE EXACT WORDS )NGRID HAD USED A FEW DAYS EARLIER REITERATING THAT POINT SHE MADE SO EARLY IN MY INTERNSHIP h9OU ARE A POTENTIAL SOURCE OF INCOME 7HEN YOU DECIDE TO WALK ALONG THE STREET AND YOU TURN DOWN A MOTORBIKE DRIVER HE SEES YOUR WALKING AS ROBBING HIM OF HIS SALARY9OU CANT TRUST ANYONE HEREv 5NTIL ) SPOKE TO #ES ) HAD BEEN EMAILING (AK 3RUN TO TELL HIM ) WAS TOO BUSY WITH WORK TO SPEND TIME WITH HIM ! WEEK LATER (AK 3RUN EMAILED MY FATHER 4HE ONLY WAY HE COULD HAVE DONE THAT IS IF HE WENT AND LOOKED IN THE HOTEL RECORDS FOR THE EMAIL ADDRESS USED TO RESERVE THE ROOM (E WAS ONE RESOURCEFUL KID $EAR MR SCOTT (OW ARE YOU SIR (OW IS YOUR WIFE PLEASE BRING 3EX WORKER EMPOWERMENT MY REGARD TO TELL HER KNOW LEADER 0HOUNG ALSO THANK YOU VERY MUCH FOR YOUR TIME MAIL TO TO ME BACK I AM VERY HAPPY THAT I RECEIVE YOU MAIL YES REALLY THAT MY FRIEND HE VERY BUSY WITH HIS JOB I MAIL TO HIME VERY DAY BUT SOME TIME HE REPLY TO ME ONE DAY SOME TIME THREE DAY BUT FOR ME IT NOPROBLEM I ALREADY UNDERSTAND HE CAM IN CAMBODIA SORT TIME FOR HIM SO HE VERY BUSY LIKE THISEVEN HE PROMISS WITH ME HE WANT TO SEE MY PROVINCE BUT NOW HE DEONgT HAVE THE TIME TO GO MY PROVINCE BUT MAYBE THE END OF THIS MONTH WHEN HE lNISH HIS DUTY MAYBE HE HAVE THE TIME WITH ME TO GO SOMEWHERE AND I TAKE THE PICTURE AND SEND TO YOU WITH JOSH MY BEST FRIENDAND I GIVE YOU SOME PRESENT TO YOU I LIKE YOUR FAMILY SO MUCH YOU KNOW SOMTIME I WANT TO SPEAK WITH JOSH ON PHONE BUT WHEN I CALL HE lNISH HIS DUTY SO NEXT YEAR YOU CAM AND VISITE CAMBODIA AGAINAND YOU CAM WITH YOUR FAMILY AND JOSH ALSO WHEN YOU CAM I WILL GO TO PICK YOU UP AT THE AIRPORT DONgT WORRY I WILL DO SO NEXT YEAR WHICH MONTH THAT YOU CAMI AM VERY HAPPY THAT ) GET GOOD INFORMATION FROM YOU LOOKING FORWARD TO WELCOM YOU IN NEXT YEAR WITH TAKE CARE GOOD LUCK TO YOU FROM (AK 3RUN ! WEEK AFTER THAT MY DAD SENT ME THIS REPLY (EY *OSH ) lNALLY SENT (AK 3RUN A REPLY THIS MORNING AND ) GOT ANOTHER REPLY WITHIN HOURS (E SURE IS PERSISTENT $ISTANCE IS A GOOD THING ,OVE $AD )NTERNATIONAL #ENTER FOR %THICS *USTICE AND 0UBLIC ,IFE (AK 3RUN AND ) STILL WRITE EACH OTHER EMAILS BUT WE SEEM TO HAVE DEPARTED FROM THE PRETENSE THAT ) AM SOMEHOW GOING TO hSAVEv HIM /FTENTIMES OPPORTUNITIES ARE CONFERRED TO #AMBODIANS ONLY THROUGH 7ESTERN PATRONAGE 4HESE OPPORTUNITIES ARE GIVEN THROUGH A DYNAMIC OF POWERINDEED OFTEN ONE OF CHARITY (AK 3RUN SAW ME THROUGH THAT LENS "EGGARS IN 0HNOM 0ENH RECEIVE MORE MONEY FROM OTHER #AMBODIANS THAN THEY DO TOURISTS 9ET SHOULD A TOURIST HAND SOMEONE A lVE DOLLAR BILL IT WOULD VALIDATE ANY AND ALL ASSUMPTIONS OF WEALTH AND STATUS -OST .'/S IN THE AREA FUNCTION ON THIS MODEL AS OPPOSED TO ONE OF SELF DIRECTED EMPOWERMENT 7HILE A TOURIST MIGHT DROP A COIN IN THE HANDS OF A PANHANDLER AID GROUPS DROP SOMETHING CALLED -ICROCREDIT 4HAT #AMBODIANS LIKE (AK 3RUN ATTACH THEMSELVES TO 7ESTERN PATRONS IS A METAPHOR FOR THE COUNTRYS DEVELOPMENT AS A WHOLE 2EALIZING THE WAY IN WHICH #AMBODIANS GRIP ONTO 7ESTERNERS MANY lRSTWORLD GROUPS AND INSTITUTIONS HAVE IDENTIlED THEM AS A FERTILE MARKET )N DOING SO THEY FURTHER CULTIVATE THIS UNEQUAL BALANCE OF POWER IN THE INTERESTS OF PROlT 3EEING THESE RELATIONSHIPS AS hDEVELOPMENT SOLUTIONSv THE ELITE IN #AMBODIA SEEK 7ESTERN PATRONAGE FAR MORE ZEALOUSLY THAN ANY HOTEL CLERK DOES #AMBODIA IS LOOKING TO OUTSIDE INVESTORS TO DEVELOP THEIR ECONOMY 4HEYRE EVEN MAKING A BID TO JOIN THE 7ORLD 4RADE /RGANIZATION -ULTINATIONAL COMPANIES ARE JUMPING AT THIS CHANCE AND ARE mEECING FARMERS ALL OVER THE COUNTRY !CCORDING TO A STATEMENT FROM 7!#S $EBT AND 4RADE ,IBERALIZATION PROJECT ,IBERALIZATION MEANS THAT LOCAL AGRICULTURAL PRODUCERS FACE COMPETITION FROM A MASSIVE mOW OF IMPORTS !T THE SAME TIME HIGHER PRODUCTION COSTS REQUIRING THE INCREASED USE OF CREDIT LEADS TO A CYCLE OF DEBT AND LANDLESSNESS 4RADE LIBERALIZATIONINSPIRED GROWTH ALSO RESULTS IN ENVIRONMENTAL DEGRADATION AND DEPLETION OF NATURAL RESOURCES AS LAND AND NATURAL RESOURCES BECOME PRIVATIZED )T ALSO RESULTS IN FURTHER ENTRENCHING THE SEPARATION OF MEN AND WOMENgS WORK WITH WOMEN RECEIVING FEWER OPPORTUNITIES IN NEW TECHNOLOGY EDUCATION TRAINING AND COMMERCIAL BUSINESS OPPORTUNITIES 7OMEN FARMERS ARE ESPECIALLY VULNERABLE TO LOSS OF LAND AND HARDSHIP AS THEY FACE GENDER DISCRIMINATION OWN SMALLER FARMS AND MORE OFTEN NEED TO RELY ON HIRING MALE LABORERS 4HEY ALSO MUST CONTEND WITH A DOUBLE LOAD OF AGRICULTURAL WORK AND DOMESTIC HOUSEWORK AND CHILDCARE 7OMEN FEEL THE EFFECTS OF PRIVATIZATION POLICIES MORE HARSHLY 4HE BURDEN OF A LOSS OF SOCIAL SERVICES FALLS UPON WOMEN THE TRADITIONAL CARETAKERS AND HEALERS OF THE FAMILY )T IS WOMEN WHO ARE LEFT TO LOOK AFTER SICK CHILDREN AND RELATIVES AND lND FOOD FOR THE FAMILY )F THERE IS LESS TO BE HADLESS FOOD HEALTHCARE AND EDUCATIONIT IS USUALLY WOMEN WHO DO WITHOUT lRST 4HE STRESS THAT POVERTY CREATES ON FAMILIES AND COMMUNITIES IS ALSO EXPERIENCED MOST POWERFULLY BY WOMEN THROUGH OTHER SUCH FACTORS AS DOMESTIC VIOLENCE OR THE HUSBAND OR FATHERgS DRUNKENNESS AND DESERTION 4HE !RT OF #OEXISTENCE%THICS AND #OEXISTENCE 3TUDENT &ELLOWS 4HE EXPLOITATION OF THE POOR BY MULTILATERAL LENDING INSTITUTIONS SUCH AS THE 7ORLD "ANK AND )NTERNATIONAL -ONETARY &UND IS BEING PLAYED OUT ON A MICRO LEVEL AS WELL THROUGH LOANS BY MICROlNANCE INSTITUTIONS CHARGING APPROXIMATELY INTEREST PER MONTH AND .'/S CHARGING INTEREST PER MONTH -ICROCREDIT THE AID INDUSTRYgS PRESCRIBED SOLUTION TO POVERTY OFTEN DRAGS POOR FAMILIES FURTHER INTO DEBT AND IT IS THE WOMEN WHO ARE LEFT WITH THE IMPOSSIBLE TASK OF MANAGING THE FAMILYgS lNANCES 0EOPLE OFTEN TAKE OUT LOANS FROM .'/S TO PAY FOR MEDICAL BILLS OR BUY RICE IN TIMES OF DROUGHT mOOD OR OTHER HARDSHIPS /FTEN THEY CANNOT MEET THE INTEREST PAYMENTS AND END UP SELLING THEIR LAND AND ARE FORCED TO MIGRATE TO lND WORK OR BEG IN THE CITY CAUSING FAMILY SEPARATION AND OFTEN FAMILY BREAKDOWN !S COSTS GO UP AND RURAL COMMUNITIES BECOME MORE CONNECTED TO THE CASH ECONOMY IT IS BECOMING MORE DIFlCULT FOR FARMERS TO SURVIVE THROUGH AGRICULTURAL WORK ALONE )N SUCH AN ENVIRONMENT FAMILIES CANNOT AFFORD TO KEEP CHILDREN IN SCHOOL 4HIS IS ESPECIALLY TRUE OF GIRL CHILDREN WHO ARE TRADITIONALLY BURDENED WITH THE CARE OF THE FAMILY MEMBERS )T IS GIRL CHILDREN THAT ARE MOST COMMONLY SENT TO THE CITY TO WORK TO SUPPORT THEIR FAMILIES IN RURAL VILLAGES -ANY FAMILIES NOW DEPEND HEAVILY ON THE INCOME SENT HOME BY THEIR DAUGHTERS 4HESE YOUNG WOMEN HAVE A HEAVY WEIGHT OF RESPONSIBILITY BASED ON THE DESPERATION OF THEIR FAMILIES AND HAVE FEW OPTIONS OR CHOICES IN THE WORK THEY UNDERTAKE -OST lND THEMSELVES IN EXPLOITATIVE EMPLOYMENT SUCH AS IN THE GARMENT INDUSTRY WHERE OF #AMBODIAN WOMEN AGED BETWEEN AND WORK OR IN THE SEX INDUSTRY /LDER WOMEN AND WOMEN WITH CHILDREN WHO MIGRATE TO THE CITY OFTEN END UP BEGGING 4HE 7OMYNS !GENDA FOR #HANGE STRUCTURALLY EMBODIES THEIR CRITIQUE h(AND OUTSv ARE NOT PART OF THEIR POLICY 4HEIR MISSION TO WHATEVER DEGREE REALIZABLE IS TO CREATE A DYNAMIC OF SHARED EMPOWERMENT 4HEY DO NOT DENY THAT A STRUCTURE OF POWER AND PRIVILEGE ALLOWS THEM TO @HELP OTHERS BUT INSTEAD WORK TO CREATE ENVIRONMENTS AND SITUATIONS WHERE PEOPLE CAN DIRECT THEIR OWN DEVELOPMENT 3OMETIMES THIS MEANS JUST GIVING WOMEN THE MEANS TO ORGANIZE THEMSELVES n WHETHER THEY ARE SEX WORKERS GARMENT WORKERS OR PEOPLE LIVING WITH !)$3 7!#S WORK ACKNOWLEDGES AND ATTEMPTS TO ACCOUNT FOR BOTH THE SOCIETAL AND STRUCTURAL MANIFESTATIONS OF THE ROLE OF FOREIGNERS AND THE WAY THEY DIRECTLY MIRROR LOCAL RELATIONS 4HUS WHETHER THE CONTEXT IS A NEOLIBERAL LENDING INSTITUTION OR MERELY INTERACTION BETWEEN TWO PEOPLE THE DYNAMIC IS THE SAME &RIENDSHIP ACROSS DIFFERENCE IS BEAUTIFUL AND SHOULD BE CHERISHED !LL TOO OFTEN HOWEVER THE DYNAMIC BETWEEN 7ESTERNERS AND #AMBODIANS HAS LITTLE TO DO WITH GENUINE hFRIENDSHIPv &OREIGNERS WHO FORM SHORTTERM RELATIONSHIPS WITH #AMBODIANS MIGHT THINK THERE IS NO HARM IN IT OR EVEN BELIEVE THEIR BEHAVIOR TO BE ACTS OF BENEVOLENCE BUT THEY OFTEN INSTEAD PERPETUATE A GLOBAL SYSTEM OF ABUSE ) DECIDED TO EMAIL (AK 3RUN TO TELL HIM THAT ) WAS SORRY ) DIDNT REALIZE HOW MUCH WORK ) WOULD HAVE AND ) DElNITELY WOULDNT BE ABLE TO SEE HIM #ES ALWAYS GAVE ME ADVICE THAT ) DIDNT WANT TO HEAR ) WANTED HER TO TELL ME THAT ) WAS NICE FOR BEING FRIENDLY WITH (AK 3RUN AND THAT HE WOULD SOON GET THE IDEA )NSTEAD SHE WAS HONEST &IVE OF A DIFFERENT COLOR ) AM NOT A -ARXIST +ARL -ARX 'ROWING UP #ES WAS AT THE TOP OF HER CLASS AND ENDED UP AT A SPECIAL HIGH SCHOOL FOR hSCIENTIlC GENIUSESv 3HE DIDNT ENJOY SCIENCE ALL THAT MUCH BUT IT WAS A FULL SCHOLARSHIP TO THE MOST PRESTIGIOUS BOARDING SCHOOL IN THE COUNTRY 3HE COULDNT REFUSE 4HE SCHOOL WAS TO PRODUCE THE TOP SCIENTISTS IN THE 0HILIPPINES $URING HER SECOND YEAR THERE SHE JOINED STUDENT ACTIVIST CELLS h4HAT BEGAN A SERIES OF GOING TO RALLIES DEMONSTRATIONS AND UNDERGROUND COURSES THAT ANALYZE @THE SYSTEMIMPERIALISM BUREAUCRAT CAPITALISM ALL OF THATv 3HE HAD BEEN A MEMBER OF THE #OMMUNIST 0ARTY h4HIS WAS DURING THE -ARCOS REGIME THE DICTATORSHIP 7E WERE UNDER MARTIAL LAW SO THE PROTEST MOVEMENT WAS UNDERGROUND 4HE ORGANIZATION THAT WAS BEHIND IT WAS ILLEGAL 4HAT WAS LED BY 4HE .ATIONAL $EMOCRATIC &RONT 5NDER THAT THERE WERE VARIOUS OTHER ORGANIZATIONS WHICH INCLUDED THE #OMMUNIST 0ARTY OF THE 0HILIPPINES "ACK THEN YOU CHOSE A SIDE 9OU WERE LEFT OR RIGHT /N THE LEFT THERE WERE LOTS OF DIFFERENT SECTORAL ORGANIZATIONS FOR EVERYONE 4HERE WAS ONE FOR TEACHERS ONE FOR PROFESSIONALS ONE FOR YOUTH) WAS IN THAT ONE THE .ATIONALIST 9OUTHxTHERE WAS ONE FOR THE RELIGIOUS COMMUNITY LIBERATION THEOLOGY WAS BIGxv 3HE SPOKE OF THE 53 MILITARY PRESENCE THERE THE ONE THAT MY 'RANDFATHER CONTRIBUTED TO DURING HIS SERVICE IN -ANILA h7E ORGANIZED CELLS AND HAD UNDERGROUND MEETINGS 7E TOOK IT VERY SERIOUSLY 7E HAD SECRET UNDERGROUND COURSES WITH ASSIGNED READING AND COURSEWORK AND EVERYTHING 7E WERE VERY COMMITTED TO UNDERSTANDING OUR SITUATION 7E WOULD DISCUSS ISSUESxIT WAS VERY ORGANIZED AND ABSOLUTELY CLANDESTINEv #ES LIVED A DOUBLE LIFE ONE AS A STRAIGHT ! STUDENT IN A SCHOOL FOR THE GIFTED AND ONE AS A COVERT CELL LEADER ) ASKED IF HER PARENTS CAUGHT ON TO HER SECRET LIFE h9ES 7ELL ) WAS JAILED WHEN ) WAS SO HOW COULD THEY NOT KNOWv 3HE GOT ARRESTED FOR STRIKING WITH FEMALE GARMENT WORKERS h7E WERE UP AGAINST A REPRESSIVE DICTATORSHIP AND IMPERIAL POWER 7E WERE ON THE RIGHT SIDE WE FELT IT )T WAS A STRUGGLEv )N HIGH SCHOOL #ES WROTE AND DIRECTED PLAYS AND WAS ABOUT TO BECOME CHIEF EDITOR OF THE SCHOOL NEWSPAPER 3HE HAD GAINED QUITE A BIT OF INmUENCE 4HE ADMINISTRATION FELT THREATENED 7HEN THEY LEARNED OF ONE OF HER ARRESTS THEY KICKED HER OUT OF SCHOOL RIGHT BEFORE SHE WAS TO ENTER HER lNAL YEAR 3UDDENLY THE MOVEMENT DIDNT GIVE HER ANY SUPPORT SHE WAS ON HER OWN $ISILLUSIONED SHE lNISHED HER LAST YEAR AT A #ATHOLIC SCHOOL )N COLLEGE SHE DECIDED TO GIVE THE MOVEMENT ANOTHER SHOT 3HE JOINED THE #ENTER FOR .ATIONALIST 3TUDIES AS WELL AS A STREET THEATER GROUP 3HE WAS INVOLVED IN OTHER ACTS OF SUBVERSION TOO %VERYTHING FROM hLIGHTNING RALLIESvILLEGAL REVOLUTIONARY DEMONSTRATIONS THAT WERE COORDINATED IN SECRET AND ENDED BEFORE THE POLICE HAD A CHANCE TO RESPONDTO POLITICAL GRAFlTI !FTER HER lRST YEAR SHE JOINED A .ATIONALIST SINGING GROUP CALLED 0ATTATAG 4HEY QUICKLY GAINED WIDE ACCLAIM AND WERE THE MOST FAMOUS PROTEST BAND IN THE 0HILIPPINES 3HE DEDICATED THAT PART OF HER LIFE TO THE PROGRESSIVE ARTS 3HE WAS IN THE CULTURAL MOVEMENT .O LONGER @UNDERGROUND HER ACTIVISM WAS VISIBLE AND HIGH PROlLE h) MEAN ) WAS SINGING IN FRONT OF HUGE DEMONSTRATIONS 9OU GOT YOUR PICTURE TAKEN BY EVERYONE FROM JOURNALISTS TO SPIESv h7ERE YOU AFRAID FOR YOUR LIFEv h!LWAYSv h"UT THAT WAS A LONG TIME AGO !FTER THE SOCALLED @0EOPLES 0OWER 2EVOLUTION #ORAZON !QUINO BECAME THE NEW PRESIDENT AND THE LEFT GOT CONFUSED 4HE LEFT KEPT WITH THEIR RIGID STANCE ABOUT REVOLUTION "UT EVEN WHEN THE CLIMATE WAS RIGHT FOR AN ARMED REVOLT THEY HELD BACK "ECAUSE OF THAT THEY HAD BEEN LEFT OUT OF THE WHOLE PEOPLES POWER THING WHICH WAS MOSTLY LED BY TRADITIONAL POLITICIANS JUST WITH A DIFFERENT COLOR 4HEN THERE WAS A LOT OF GRIPING WITHIN THE LEFT AND THEN CAME THE PURGES AND SPLITS AND ALL THAT MESSY STUFF !FTER THE LEFT FELL APART THE PROTEST MOVEMENT GOT MESSY TOO /UR SINGING GROUP STARTED TO FADE AWAY WE FOCUSED ON OTHER THINGSxLIKE LIVING OUR LIVES ) GOT MARRIED IN A PETTY BOURGEOISIE MANNER 4HEN ) HAD A KID 4HEN ) GOT DIVORCED "UT ) KEPT WORKING FOR ORGANIZATIONS THAT WERE STILL INVOLVED IN THE CULTURAL SIDE OF THE STRUGGLE )T WAS STILL PROGRESSIVE THEATER AND COMMUNITY WORK BUT ) WAS OUT OF THE FORMAL UNDERGROUND STRUCTURE ) FOUND A COMFORT ZONE WHERE ) WAS STILL ABLE TO ENGAGE IN SOCIAL CHANGE IN A FULlLLING WAY )N THE EARLY S ) STARTED GETTING INTO MY OWN CAUSE ) INITIATED A LOT OF ACTIVITIES AROUND RAISING AWARENESS AROUND CHILD SEXUAL ABUSE WHICH WASNT BEING DISCUSSED BY THE LEFT AT THE TIME )T IS A HUGE HUGE PROBLEM IN THE 0HILIPPINES AND HUGE NUMBERS OF WOMEN ARE VICTIMS IN MY COUNTRYxAND EVERYWHERE ) DID THAT UNTIL ) LEFT FOR #AMBODIA AND DID 7!#v #ES HAD BEEN RECRUITED FOR THE 7OMYNS !GENDA FOR #HANGE BY /XFAM (ONG +ONG AND HAS LIVED IN #AMBODIA FOR A LITTLE OVER YEARS (ER STORY RESONATED STRONGLY WITH MY OWN BACKGROUND 7E BOTH CAME FROM UPPERMIDDLE CLASS BOURGEOISIE FAMILIES AND BOTH WERE PREPARED TO GIVE THAT UP FOR WHAT WE SAW AS RIGHT "OTH RADICALIZED AT A YOUNG AGE WE EACH BECAME ACTIVE IN HIGH SCHOOLS WHERE THERE WAS LITTLE ELSE GOING ON IN THE WAY OF POLITICAL ACTION 9ET AS MUCH AS ) FELT ) COULD RELATE HER EXPERIENCE WAS EQUALLY ALIEN TO ME 4HROUGHOUT MY POLITICAL CONSCIOUSNESSRAISING ) IDENTIlED WITH LIBERTARIAN SOCIALISM IE ANARCHISM WHICH REJECTS AUTHORITARIANISM IN ALL OF ITS FORMS ) HAD THOUGHT OF #OMMUNISTS AS CULTISH CADRES OF HIERARCHICAL RIGIDITY 4HEIR QUEST FOR POWER HAS LED TO SOME OF THE MOST HORRIlC HUMAN RIGHTS ABUSES IN THE WORLD ,ISTENING TO #ES TALK ABOUT THE COMPLEX INTERNAL STRUCTURE OF SECRET CELLS AND INNER CIRCLES WAS LIKE A WINDOW INTO A WORLD ) HAD ALWAYS THOUGHT ABOUT BUT COULD NEVER REALLY GRASP )T WAS SORT OF LIKE BEARING WITNESS TO A REAL LIFE SPY MOVIE )NTERNATIONAL #ENTER FOR %THICS *USTICE AND 0UBLIC ,IFE -Y REVULSION TO CONSPIRATORIAL AUTHORITARIANISM DID LITTLE TO HAMPER MY FASCINATION WITH IT 3HE BOTH HUMANIZED -ARXIST ,ENINISM AND VALIDATED MY PERCEPTIONS OF ITS FATAL ERRORS 4HE IMMEDIACY OF HER STORY WAS SOMETHING ) SECRETLY LONGED FOR 7HILE ) BELIEVE THAT THE EXTENSION OF 53 HEGEMONY IS ULTIMATELY FAR WORSE FOR THE WORLD THAN THE -ARCOS DESPOTISM IN THE 0HILIPPINES THE URGENCY OF lGHTING A DICTATORSHIP IS CERTAINLY A DIFFERENT FEELING THAN STRUGGLING AGAINST AN INDUSTRIALIZED LIBERAL DEMOCRACY )N HER STRUGGLE THERE WAS A CLEARLY DElNED ENEMY 3OMETHING INSIDE ME WANTED THE WORLD TO SEEM BLACK AND WHITE LIKE THAT )TS NOT THOUGH &IGHTING FOR SOCIAL JUSTICE IN THE ST CENTURY IS CONFUSING MESSY BUSINESS 3IX ON MOVING FORWARD hWHEN WE lNALLY KNOW WE ARE DYING AND ALL OTHER SENTIENT BEINGS ARE DYING WITH US WE START TO HAVE A BURNING ALMOST HEARTBREAKING SENSE OF THE FRAGILITY AND PRECIOUSNESS OF EACH MOMENT AND EACH BEING AND FROM THIS CAN GROW A DEEP CLEAR LIMITLESS COMPASSION FOR ALL BEINGSv 3OGYAL 2INPOCHE h3HES DEADv ) DIDNT KNOW WHAT #ES WAS TALKING ABOUT BUT SHE WAS SPEAKING INTO A CELL PHONE AND ) DIDNT WANT TO INTERRUPT ) FOUND OUT THE NEXT AFTERNOON 4HE SECRETARIAT OF 7!#S SEX WORKER COLLECTIVE 4HE 7OMENS .ETWORK FOR 5NITY HAD DIED OF !)$3 !N !USTRALIAN INTERN NAMED +ATE WAS SOBBING %VERYONE ELSE OSCILLATED BETWEEN BEING SOMBER AND BEINGxEMOTIONLESS )F +ATE HADNT BEEN THERE ) WOULDNT HAVE KNOWN ANYTHING WAS WRONG ) DIDNT HAVE ANY FRAMEWORK IN WHICH TO PLACE WHAT ) WAS SEEING )M A PUNK ROCKER FROM THE 53 WHOSE FRIEND WORKS AS AN UNDERTAKER ) THOUGHT ) WAS COMFORTABLE WITH THE PHENOMENON CALLED hDEATHv .OPE )F THE 7!# EMPLOYEES HAD BEEN EMOTIONAL ) DOUBT ) WOULD HAVE BEEN ABLE TO GRASP THE GRAVITY OF THE SITUATION &OR THE lRST TIME ) THOUGHT ABOUT THE IMPLICATIONS OF WORKING WITH #AMBODIAN SEX WORKERS -ANY IF NOT MOST OF THEM HAVE !)$3 3EX 7ORKER %MPOWERMENT $IRECTOR 0HOUNG HAS SEEN MOST OF THE PEOPLE SHE HAS BEEN CLOSE WITH DIE $EATH IS EXPECTED AND ACCEPTED $ISASTER HERE HAS BEEN NORMALIZED ON A LEVEL THAT ) AM STILL NOT QUITE CAPABLE OF CONCEIVING OF ) LOOKED TO #ES FOR SOME SORT OF EXPLANATION h4HE FUNERAL WAS 3UNDAY 7E PAID OUR RESPECTS 7HAT ELSE CAN WE DO 7E HAVE TO KEEP MOVING FORWARDv !ND THEY DID 3EVEN MISSIONARIES h) DONgT BELIEVE IN CHARITY ) BELIEVE IN SOLIDARITY #HARITY IS SO VERTICAL )T GOES FROM THE TOP TO THE BOTTOM 3OLIDARITY IS HORIZONTAL )T RESPECTS THE OTHER PERSON ) HAVE A LOT TO LEARN FROM OTHER PEOPLEv %DUARDO 'ALEANO 4HE !RT OF #OEXISTENCE%THICS AND #OEXISTENCE 3TUDENT &ELLOWS ) WENT TO 7!# IN THE AFTERNOONS EVERY DAY ) MADE MYSELF USEFUL WHERE ) COULD ) DID RESEARCH ) HELPED WITH ART INSTALLATIONS ) HELPED ORGANIZE CONFERENCES ) CONDUCTED ORAL HISTORY INTERVIEWS ) REPAINTED THE PEELING SIGN THAT ADORNS THE TOP OF THE BOAT 4HINGS LIKE THAT 7HEN ) WASNT USEFUL ) JUST STOOD BACK AND LEARNED ) DID A LOT OF THAT ESPECIALLY WHEN ) SPOKE TO THE OTHER KIDS AT 7!# 3IM 3OCHEATA WAS JUST A COUPLE OF YEARS OLDER THAN ME AND WE CONSTANTLY DISCUSSED THE PARALLELS AND DIFFERENCES IN OUR EXPERIENCES AS YOUTH ACTIVISTS 7E OFTEN TALKED ABOUT !MERICA h9OU KNOW EVERYONE TALKS ABOUT THE 5NITED 3TATES BEING THIS WONDERFUL PLACE TO LIVE BUT ) DONT THINK THATS TRUEv ) ASKED WHY h) HAVE NEVER BEEN THERE BUT ) KNOW MANY PEOPLE WHO HAVE 4HEY GO THERE FOR MONEY OPPORTUNITIES -OST PEOPLE HERE WOULD DIE FOR THE CHANCE TO GET TO GO OVER THERE "UT THEY GO THERE EXPECTING TO BE RICH LIKE ON THE 46 4HEY DONT REALIZE THAT THEY GET PAID MORE MONEY BUT ALSO LIFE THERE IS SO MUCH MORE EXPENSIVE TOO 3O THEY GET A BAD JOB AND TRY TO MAKE MONEY TO SEND HOME TO THEIR FAMILY 4HEY BARELY CAN AFFORD TO )TS LIKE A PUNISHMENT ALMOST THEY HAVE TO GO THERE TO SEND MONEY TO THEIR FAMILY 4HEN THEY COME BACK 9OU KNOW FOR MANY +HMER PEOPLE THE 53 IS LIKE PRISONv h7HAT DOES YOUR FAMILY THINK ABOUT YOUR ACTIVISMv 3OCHEATAS EYEBROWS ARCHED ) SHRUGGED AND REPLIED h4HEYRE SUPPORTIVE BUT ) DONT THINK THEY REALLY UNDERSTAND THE IMPLICATIONS OF WHAT )M DOINGv h7ELL MINE DONT UNDERSTAND WHAT )M DOING AT ALLv h(OW SOv ) ASKED 3HE ELABORATED h) TRY TO TALK ABOUT THE )RAQ WAR OR WOMENS RIGHTS AND MY FATHER GETS VERY UPSET (E PRACTICALLY DOESNT LET ME OUT OF THE HOUSE WITHOUT AN ESCORT (E WOULDNT EVEN LET ME STAY AT MY FRIENDS BIRTHDAY PARTY THE OTHER NIGHT BECAUSE ) WOULD COME HOME AFTER DARKv ) ASKED h$OES HE KNOW THAT YOUD GO OUT AT NIGHT WHEN YOU WERE ON THAT PROGRAM IN 'ENEVAv h.O MY PARENTS DONT CARE WHAT ) DO IF )M NOT IN THEIR HOUSEv h)T WORKS THE SAME WAY IN THE 53 -OST KIDS GO TO COLLEGE AND THEIR PARENTS DONT CHECK UP ON THEM LIKE THEY DO WHEN THEY GO BACK HOMEv ) SAID 3HE REPLIED THAT HER SITUATION WAS @DIFFERENT ) ASSURED HER THAT IT WASNT REALLY ALL THAT DIFFERENT ) WAS WELL ACCUSTOMED TO TALKING TO VARIOUS YOUNG ACTIVISTS ABOUT CHALLENGING THE ORTHODOX BELIEFS OF THEIR FAMILIES .O THIS IS DIFFERENT SHE INSISTED ) HEARD HER BUT ) WASNT LISTENING )T WAS DIFFERENT 0ARENTS IN THE 5NITED 3TATES HAVE BEEN CONDITIONED BY THREE WAVES OF FEMINIST THOUGHT h#ONSERVATIVEv MEANT SOMETHING QUITE DIFFERENT FOR FAMILIES IN 0HNOM 0ENH #AMBODIA THAN IT DID IN 7ILTON #ONNECTICUT 3OCHEATA HAD SAID h4HEY SUPPORT WHAT ) AM DOING BECAUSE ) HAVE A SALARY HERE ) HAVE A FUTURE "UT THEY DONT UNDERSTAND AND ) STOPPED MAKING THEM TRY TO UNDERSTANDv ) REALIZED THE SIGNIlCANCE OF HER WORDS LATER THE NEXT DAY )T WAS PM 'OING TO THE GYM IN THE -I #ASA (OTEL HAD ALREADY BECOME A PART OF MY DAILY ROUTINE 3WEAT TOWEL IN MY LEFT HAND AND $ISCMAN IN MY RIGHT ) PUSHED THE DOOR OPEN WITH MY SHOULDER JUST IN TIME TO AVOID FALLING mAT ON MY FACE !S ) HAD LEANED IN SOMEONE ON THE OTHER SIDE PULLED OPEN THE DOOR THROWING ME OFF BALANCE ) LOOKED UP TO MEET THE GAZE OF *OAN A WOMAN ) HAD MET SEVERAL WEEKS AGO AT A #IVIL 3OCIETY #ONVENTION AT THE "UDDHIST )NSTITUTE 7E EXCHANGED CURSORY hHELLOSv AND ) HEADED FOR THE ELLIPTICAL MACHINE THINKING ABOUT MY EXPERIENCE AT THAT CONFERENCE WITH HER /NE OF THE LECTURES ) HAD ATTENDED THERE BROUGHT 3OCHEATAS COMMENTS INTO FULL RELIEF ! 3RI ,ANKAN WOMAN NAMED (EMA 'ONATILAKE WAS SPEAKING ABOUT THE NEED FOR RADICAL PROGRESSIVE CHANGE IN 3OUTHEAST !SIA IN GENERAL AND #AMBODIA IN PARTICULAR 3HE EMPHASIZED SKEPTICISM OF 7ESTERN .'/S AND A NEED TO ROOT TRANSFORMATIONAL FEMINIST POLITICS IN INDIGENOUS INSTITUTIONS 3HE POINTED TOWARD 3ANGHA AS AN EXAMPLE OF SUCH AN INSTITUTION 3ANGHA IS A "UDDHIST TERM THAT OFTEN REFERS TO A COMMUNITY OF MONKS AND NUNS 'ONATILAKE WAS REFERRING TO #AMBODIAN COMMUNITIES DATING BACK TO ROUGHLY "# !CCORDING TO 'ONATILAKE SUCH SOCIETIES EMBODY THE PRINCIPLES OF JUSTICE hWEv RADICALS PROGRESSIVES FEMINISTS ETC STRIVE FOR )T CAUGHT MY ATTENTION BECAUSE HER DESCRIPTION USED JUST ABOUT EVERY PIECE OF ANARCHIST TERMINOLOGY AND RHETORIC THAT ) AM FAMILIAR WITH 3ANGHA CIVIL LIFE REVOLVED AROUND THE PAGODA WHICH FUNCTIONED AS A BODY TO REGULATE hCONSENSUS DECISION MAKINGv hPARTICIPATORY DEMOCRACYv hDIRECT DEMOCRACYv AND hMUTUAL AIDv 4HIS SOCIAL STRUCTURE EVEN BOASTED FULL GENDER EQUALITY UNTIL THE GRADUAL DISAPPEARANCE OF WOMENS INSTITUTIONS LIKE FEMALE MONKHOOD ETC ) WOULD LATER DISCOVER THAT THE ECONOMICS OF 3ANGHA ARE PROFOUNDLY ANTICAPITALIST n THEY FUNCTION ON AN ECONOMY OF GIFTS 3ANGHA GIFT ECONOMIES )M SURE WERE THE INSPIRATION FOR 7ESTERN DISCOURSE LIKE -ICHAEL !LPERTS 0ARECON %VEN 'ONATILAKES RHETORIC OF AUTONOMY WAS IN THE ANARCHIST TRADITION h0EOPLE MUST SAVE THEMSELVES BY THEIR OWN EFFORTv 'ONATILAKES LECTURE DIDNT JUST CAPTURE MY FASCINATION BECAUSE SHE WAS DESCRIBING AN ANCIENT #AMBODIAN ANARCHIST SOCIETY )T WAS INTRIGUING SPECIlCALLY BECAUSE IT WAS THIS TYPE OF SOCIAL STRUCTURE THAT SOMEHOW EVOLVED INTO WHAT WE SEE AS #AMBODIAN ORTHODOXY TODAY #AMBODIA IS NOW RIGIDLY HIERARCHICAL TO THE POINT WHERE SEVERAL DIFFERENT LEVELS OF HIERARCHY ARE WRITTEN INTO THE LANGUAGE ITSELF +HMER DOESNT JUST USE hFORMALv WORDS TO SPEAK TO ELDERS /NE USES ENTIRELY DIFFERENT LANGUAGE WHEN SPEAKING TO A PRINCE OR A MONK OR AN ELDER OR A CHILD 3OCHEATA WAS TRYING TO TELL ME THAT IT IS ONE THING TO CHALLENGE AUTHORITARIANISM AND MALE RULE IN A LIBERAL DEMOCRACY LIKE THE 5NITED 3TATES BUT QUITE ANOTHER TO DO SO IN AN CRUMBLING OLIGARCHY SUCH AS EXISTS IN CONTEMPORARY #AMBODIA .OT ONLY DO HIERARCHY AND PATRIARCHY MANIFEST THEMSELVES IN VASTLY DIFFERENT WAYS IN EACH CONTEXT BUT MISOGYNY IN #AMBODIA IS NECESSARILY BOUND UP WITH ISSUES OF CONTROL AND DOMINATION LEFT FROM A LEGACY OF COLONIALISM AND GENOCIDE #AMBODIAN HISTORY IS THE NARRATIVE OF @THE OUTSIDER COMING IN EXPLOITING RESOURCES AND IMPOSING CULTURAL NORMS 4HE MOST APPARENT EXAMPLE OF THIS DYNAMIC OF DOMINATION IS IN THEIR HISTORY OF &RENCH COLONIALISM 4O THIS DAY SOME 7ESTERNERS STILL REFER TO THE REGION AS h&RENCH )NDOCHINAv 4HE DYNAMIC IS ALSO PRESENT IN A LONG HISTORY OF IMPERIALISM ON THE PART OF MISSIONARIES )T MANIFESTS ITSELF BOTH HISTORICAL AND CONTEMPORARY RELATIONS WITH THE 6IETNAMESE AND 4HAIS 7HETHER IT BE OUTRIGHT MILITARY INVASION OR LIBERATION CULTURAL TENSION OR ECONOMIC DOMINATION THE DYNAMIC IS THE SAME %VEN THE 4HE QUESTION AS ) HAD +HMER 2OUGE WAS INSPIRED BY AN IMPORTED DISTORTION OF ,ENIN FRAMED IT IN MY HEAD -AO-ARX7HATEVER)SM THAT WAS AS FOLLOWS WAS IT 0OL 0OT ABSORBED WHILE STUDYING IN %UROPE )N CONTEMPORARY APPROPRIATE FOR 7ESTERN #AMBODIA THE LOCAL +HMER CULTURE IS RARELY CULTIVATED ACTIVISTS TO GO TO OTHER NOURISHED OR EVEN ACKNOWLEDGED RARELY HAVE THERE BEEN CONDITIONS COUNTRIES AND SUBVERT IN WHICH THE +HMER SOCIETY HAS HAD THE OPPORTUNITY TO DEVELOP WHAT ARE OFTEN THE ACCORDING TO ITS OWN PROCESSES AND IMPERATIVES INSTITUTIONAL BUILDING )T IS AGAINST THE BACKDROP OF AN UNDERSTANDING OF THE BLOCKS OF THEIR CULTURE EXTENSIVE LEGACY OF DOMINATION BY OUTSIDERS THAT ) QUESTIONED THE APPROACH OF MANY WESTERN .'/S IN #AMBODIA AND 7!# IN PARTICULARxAND OF COURSE MY OWN ROLE IN THE MIX ) PEDALED FASTER ON THE ELLIPTICAL MACHINE ) GUESS ONE GOOD THING ABOUT GLOBALIZATION IS THAT IT CREATES THE NEED TO DEAL WITH IDENTITY POLITICS ) LOOKED AROUND AT ALL THE OTHER WHITE FACES IN THE GYM %VERYONE WHO WENT THERE WAS EITHER AN AID WORKER OR SOME GRIMY NEOLIBERAL INVESTOR 7HAT WAS ) DOING IN #AMBODIA 7ELL ) HAD A VISION OF A JUST SOCIETY AND ) WANTED TO ACT ON IT 4HIS VISION CAME FROM A 7ESTERN IDEOLOGY CALLED hFEMINISMvRADICAL FEMINISM AT THAT 4HIS IDEOLOGY CHALLENGES SOCIAL INSTITUTIONS THAT COULD BE SEEN AS FUNDAMENTAL ASPECTS OF CONTEMPORARY #AMBODIAN SOCIETY HIERARCHY AND PATRIARCHY INCLUDED ) HAD STRUGGLED WITH THESE QUESTIONS BEFORE ACCEPTING THE FELLOWSHIP BUT ACTUALLY LIVING THEM IN PRACTICE COMPLICATED THINGS MORE THAN ) COULD HAVE IMAGINED ) WAS GOING AROUND THE WORLD MESSING WITH OTHER PEOPLES CULTURES IN ACCORDANCE WITH MY DElNITION OF hJUSTICEv !N %THIOPIAN PEACEBUILDER NAMED (IZKIAS !SSEFA WOULD LATER TELL ME h9OU KNOW WHAT OTHER 7ESTERN TRAVELERS WENT AROUND THE WORLD UPROOTING CULTURES IN THE NAME OF WHAT THEY BELIEVED WAS RIGHT -ISSIONARIESv *UST WHO EXACTLY DID ) THINK ) WAS 7HAT WAS 7!#S REAL ROLE IN #AMBODIAN SOCIETY #OULD THEY BE DOING MORE HARM THAN GOOD 3WEAT WAS SLIDING DOWN MY FACE SLOWLY ) DIDNT WIPE IT OFF ) LET IT GRADUALLY RIDE THE CONTOURS OF MY CHEEKS DOWN TO MY CHIN DRIPPING OFF ONTO THE mOOR 7HAT THEN CAN DISTINGUISH 7ESTERN ACTIVISTS FROM MISSIONARIES ) THOUGHT FOR A MINUTE AND DECIDED THAT THE MOST APPARENT ANSWER WAS IN HOW ACTIVISTS CONSTRUCT THEIR WORK AND HOW THEY ARE RECEIVED BY THE COMMUNITIES THEY ARE ACTIVE IN )F THE OUTSIDER IS WELCOMED INTO THE COMMUNITY AS AN AGENT OF SOCIAL CHANGE THEN ONE COULD HARDLY CONSTRUCT IT AS AN IMPOSITION ) LOOKED UP AT THE CLOCK AND THOUGHT @9EAHxTHE .ATIVE !MERICANS WELCOMED %UROPEAN EXPLORERS AT lRST TOO )T WAS GETTING LATE ) REASONED FURTHER #ULTURE IS NOT STAGNANT 4O LOCATE CERTAIN ASPECTS OF CULTURE LIKE HIERARCHY PATRIARCHY ETC AS UNCHANGEABLE CONSTANTS IS TO MISUNDERSTAND THE WAY HUMAN SOCIETIES DEVELOP )NTERNATIONAL #ENTER FOR %THICS *USTICE AND 0UBLIC ,IFE AND CHANGINDEED IT IS TO MISUNDERSTAND WHAT CULTURES ARE #ULTURES ARE INTERACTIVE 4HEY ARE FORGED THROUGH BOTH INTERCULTURAL AND INTRACULTURAL STRUGGLE 3ONG )F MOVEMENTS FOR SOCIAL CHANGE OCCUR WITHIN A GIVEN SOCIETY ONE WOULD BE HARD PRESSED TO ARGUE THAT THE RESULT IS NOT hAUTHENTICv CULTURE 4HEREFORE IF MY ACTIVISM AS A 7ESTERNER IS NOT ACTING FOR PEOPLE BUT IN SOLIDARITY WITH THEM THE WORK IS LEGITIMATE 2IGHT )T WAS PM 4IME TO TAKE A SHOWER AND EAT SOME 3ALOR +O 3AP SOUP BEFORE GOING TO 7!# 4HAT EVENING 2OSANNA AND ) WERE SITTING ON THE COUCH ON THE BOAT h2O DO YOU THINK BEING COMMITTED TO FEMINISM AND BEING COMMITTED TO MULTICULTURALISM ARE TWO MUTUALLY EXCLUSIVE POSITIONSv h7HAT DO YOU MEANv h7ELL DONT YOU FEEL LIKE IMPOSING 7ESTERN IDEAS OF JUSTICE ON #AMBODIA IN THE INTERESTS OF SUBVERTING TRADITIONAL CULTURE IS LIKE CULTURAL IMPERIALISMv ) WANTED TO KNOW WHY WE THOUGHT IT WAS OKAY TO lGHT NEOLIBERAL ECONOMIC GLOBALIZATION BUT NOT IDEOLOGICAL GLOBALIZATION h)VE HEARD THAT CRITIQUE A LOT AND ) THINK ITS RIDICULOUSv SHE SHOT BACK h4HE NOTION THAT CERTAIN IDEAS CAN ONLY BELONG TO CERTAIN PEOPLE IS RACIST *UST BECAUSE SOME IDEAS WERE DEVELOPED IN THE 7EST DOESNT MEAN THAT THEY CANT BE ADOPTED BY OTHER PEOPLE (OW FUCKING CONDESCENDINGv ) NODDED 4HE IDEA THAT THE 7EST NECESSARILY HAS A MONOPOLY ON FEMINISM IS IN AND OF ITSELF ETHNOCENTRIC )T IGNORES THE VAST HISTORY OF WOMENS STRUGGLES THROUGHOUT THE GLOBAL SOUTH ESPECIALLY IN ,ATIN !MERICA AND !SIA 3OME FEMINISMS WERE DEVELOPED IN THE 7EST SOME WERE NOT !FTER FURTHER CONSIDERATION ) COLLAPSED MY CONCERNS INTO A SINGLE PROBLEM 4HE QUESTION AS ) HAD FRAMED IT IN MY HEAD WAS AS FOLLOWS WAS IT APPROPRIATE FOR 7ESTERN ACTIVISTS TO GO TO OTHER COUNTRIES AND SUBVERT WHAT ARE OFTEN THE INSTITUTIONAL BUILDING BLOCKS OF THEIR CULTURE 3PECIlCALLY DO .'/S WITH FEMINIST AGENDAS HAVE A LEGITIMATE CLAIM TO THEIR GOALS OF ABOLISHING HIERARCHY AND PATRIARCHY BOTH OF WHICH SEEM FUNDAMENTALLY INGRAINED IN +HMER CULTURE .OT SURPRISINGLY ) WAS UNABLE TO lND ANY ANSWERS DURING MY TIME IN #AMBODIA 4HE QUESTION IN OF ITSELF WAS SO THICKLY LADEN WITH UNEXAMINED ASSUMPTIONS THAT IT PERHAPS IN OF ITSELF EMBODIED THE 7ESTERN PATERNALISM ) WISHED TO EXAMINE 7ORKING THROUGH AN ANALYSIS OF WHY MY FRAMEWORK WAS ITSELF BANKRUPT ) FOUND PUSHED ME TOWARD SOME OF THE ANSWERS ) SOUGHT ) HAD ASSUMED A CONSTRUCTION OF THE h7ESTv AS EMBODYING PROGRESSIVE FEMINIST VALUES AND THE h%ASTv AS DOMINATED BY THOUSAND YEAR OLD PATRIARCHAL TRADITIONS !CCEPTING THIS NOTION AT FACE VALUE ) THEN QUESTIONED WHETHER OR NOT IT WAS hCULTURAL IMPERIALISMv TO TRANSPLANT THESE VALUES FROM THE 7EST TO THE %AST "UT TO ESSENTIALIZE #AMBODIAN VALUES AS hPATRIARCHALv AND 7ESTERN VALUES AS SOMEHOW MORE EGALITARIAN IS TO GROSSLY MISCHARACTERIZE THE TWO CULTURES +HMER USED TO HAVE TRANSSEXUALITY WRITTEN INTO ITS LANGUAGE UNTIL 7ESTERN MISSIONARIES CAME REMEMBER 7E CANNOT IGNORE THE WAY THAT #AMBODIA HAS ALREADY BEEN SHAPED BY THE 7EST 3INCE THE IMPOSITION OF NEOLIBERAL POLICIES ON #AMBODIA ONCESUBSISTENCE FARM WORK NOW LEAVES FAMILIES DESTITUTE 4HE !RT OF #OEXISTENCE%THICS AND #OEXISTENCE 3TUDENT &ELLOWS $ESPITE THE MYRIAD OF DIFFERENT CIRCUMSTANCES THAT BRING SEX WORKERS TO CITIES ALMOST ALL CAN BE TRACED BACK IN ONE WAY OR ANOTHER TO THIS lNANCIAL DESPERATION )N HIGHLIGHTING WAYS IN WHICH ECONOMIC MODELS FROM THE OUTSIDE CULTIVATE THE SEX TRADE ) DO NOT INTEND TO REINFORCE STEREOTYPES OF SEX WORKERS AS VICTIMS )NDEED ONE OF THE REASONS 7!# IS SO SUCCESSFUL IS THAT THEY RECOGNIZE THAT SEX WORK IS WORK AND THESE WORKING WOMEN SHOULD BE TREATED WITH THE DIGNITY AND RESPECT THEY DESERVE 4HERE IS NOTHING hIMMORALv OR INHERENTLY WRONG WITH THEIR PROFESSION 4HIS HOWEVER DOES NOT OBSCURE THE ABUSIVE AND OPPRESSIVE CONDITIONS THESE WOMEN WORK IN 4HE #AMBODIAN SEX INDUSTRY CAN SURELY BE UNDERSTOOD AS A DEVASTATING MANIFESTATION OF PATRIARCHY IN +HMER SOCIETY 4HIS ABUSE CANNOT BE THOUGHT OF IN A VACUUM 4HE DYNAMICS THAT ALLOW IT TO EXIST ARE LARGELY SHAPED BY OUTSIDE FORCES THE SEX TRADE IN #AMBODIA IS IN MANY WAYS A DIRECT RESPONSE TO 7ESTERN ECONOMICS -ORE THAN MERELY BRINGING YOUNG GIRLS TO THE CITY OUT OF DESPERATION OUTSIDERS HAVE A HAND IN CREATING THE VERY PATTERNS OF ABUSE AS WELL ) WOULD LATER READ UP ON THIS NOTION )T IS EXPLAINED BY #HINESE FEMINIST -INGYAN ,AI THAT hTHE LOSS OF NATIONAL CONTROL OVER THE MEANS AND ENDS OF PRODUCTION ;IS DISPLACED= ONTO A CULTURALMORAL REALM OF PATRIARCHAL CONTROL OVER THE CONDUCT OF WOMENv ,AI 3HE POSITS THAT MALE DOMINATION OF WOMEN IN GENERAL IN MANY DEVELOPING COUNTRIES IS THE DIRECT EXPRESSION OF A DESIRE TO REESTABLISH THE CONTROL LOST IN OTHER REALMS OF SOCIETY 4HUS PRACTICES hWEv WESTERNERS SEE AS CULTURALLY INDIGENOUS MAY INDEED mOW DIRECTLY IN RESPONSE TO AN IMPOSITION OF THE INSTITUTIONS OF GLOBAL CAPITALISM 4HIS CAN INCLUDE ANYTHING FROM EXPLOITATIVE SEX WORK TO DOMESTIC VIOLENCE TO BAUK ,AI CONTINUES h;4HOSE WHO CONTROL A SOCIETY= IMAGINE THAT ONCE THE TRADITIONAL PATRIARCHAL ORDER IS RESTORED AND MEN RESUME THEIR RIGHTFUL PLACE AS BENEVOLENT FATHERS POWERFUL HUSBANDS AND lLIAL SONS THE NATION WILL ALSO REGAIN CONTROL IF ITS OWN DESTINY AND PUT UP RESISTANCE AGAINST NEOCOLONIAL DOMINATION FROM FOREIGN CAPITALIST POWERSv ,AI 4O CONSTRUCT A CULTURAL RELATIONSHIP AS hENLIGHTENED PROGRESSIVE 7ESTERN GENDER EQUALITY VS %ASTERN REGRESSIVE PATRIARCHYv IS SIMPLY IGNORANT "UT IF ) REJECT THE MINDSET THAT FEMINISM IS INHERENTLY A 7ESTERN IMPOSITION ON OTHER CULTURES ) MUST lND SOME OTHER WAY TO DISTINGUISH PARTICULAR FEMINISMS AND FEMINISTS THAT ACT AS @IMPERIALISTIC FORCES FROM THOSE THAT DO NOT ) REmECTED ON MY EARLIER THOUGHTS #ULTURES HAVE ALWAYS SHARED IDEAS AND PRACTICES WITH ONE ANOTHER 4HIS SHARING HOWEVER BECOMES DOMINATIVEWHAT )M CALLING hCULTURAL IMPERIALISMvWHEN THERE IS A POWER IMBALANCE BETWEEN PARTICIPANTS 4HERE IS CERTAINLY A POWER IMBALANCE BETWEEN 7ESTERN AND #AMBODIAN CULTURE /NE OF THE MANY WAYS THIS CONSTRUCTION OF POWER IS REmECTED IS THROUGH IMAGE AND REPRESENTATION #AMBODIANS MIGHT NOT HAVE FOOD BUT AT LEAST THEY HAVE -46 AND "RITNEY 3PEARS WHOSE IMAGE ADORNS THE FRONT OF SEVERAL HAIR SALONS IN 0HNOM 0ENH !S A WHITE PERSON ) WAS ASSUMED RICH ) REPRESENTED WEALTH AND OPPORTUNITY ) WAS AN EXTENSION OF THE 5NITED 3TATES -OST OF THE ACTIVISTS ) MET HATED THE 53 %VERYONE ELSE REVERED IT )MAGE AND REPRESENTATION ARE SOME OF THE MANY WAYS THAT THIS DISPARATE CONSTRUCTION OF POWER IS REmECTED TO AND ASSIMILATED INTO OTHER CULTURES /NE NIGHT ) WENT OUT TO EAT WITH $AN AND HIS FRIEND $INH 7E SAT DOWN AND ) SOON FOUND MYSELF IN A CONVERSATION WITH A YOUNG MAN AT ANOTHER TABLE 7E WERE APPROACHED BY A BEGGAR TO WHOM ) GAVE SOME NOODLES 4HE MAN LATER SAID h)T MUST BE WONDERFUL LIVING IN A COUNTRY WHERE THERE ARE NO BEGGARSv ) CHUCKLED AND ASSURED HIM THAT WE DO HAVE BEGGARS IN THE 5NITED 3TATES h.O YOU DONT 4HE 53 IS A DEVELOPED COUNTRYv h4HAT IS TRUE BUT POVERTY STILL EXISTS )N FACT IT IS GROWING MORE AND MORE EVERY DAY IN MY COUNTRYv (E mATLY STATED h.O IT DOESNTv h,OOK )M FROM THERE ) PROMISE YOU ) SEE BEGGARS IN "OSTON EVERY DAYv 2EFUSING TO BACK DOWN HE COLDLY REPLIED h9OU ARE LYING TO MEv /UR CONVERSATION WAS OVER )T IS DIFlCULT TO IMAGINE A MORE IMAGECONSCIOUS FOREIGN POLICY THAN THAT OF THE 5NITED 3TATES 4HE !MERICAN %MBASSY IN 0HNOM 0ENH IS IN THE PROCESS OF BEING REBUILT .OTHINGS WRONG WITH IT THEY JUST FELT THAT IT WOULD BE A GOOD USE OF MONEY TO TEAR IT DOWN AND REBUILD IT AGAIN 4HE NEW EMBASSY WILL LOOK JUST LIKE ANY OTHER EMBASSY ON THE OUTSIDE IT WILL BE FRIENDLY AND INVITING /N THE INSIDE PAST THE FACADE WILL BE A BOMBPROOF MILITARIZED COMPOUND BIG ENOUGH TO PROTECT ALL THE !MERICAN %XPATS IN CASE OF TERRORISM OR SOMETHING TO MY KNOWLEDGE THERE HASNT BEEN ANY ANTI!MERICAN TERRORISM IN THE AREA SINCE THE +2 ERA 7HETHER MICROCOSM OR METAPHOR A FRIENDLYLOOKING OUTSIDE CONCEALING A MILITARIZED SECURITYOBSESSED INSIDE SURE DOES FEEL A LOT LIKE HOME #OMING BACK FROM THE RIVER HOUSE #ES POINTED TO THE EMBASSY 2OSANNA SAID h) TALK TO PEOPLE AND SAY @7HY DO YOU LIKE THE !MERICANS 9OU HARBOR SO MUCH HATRED FOR THE 6IETNAMESE AND SO MUCH ADORATION FOR ANYTHING FROM THE 53! 4HE !MERICANS BOMBED YOUR VILLAGES AND DESTROYED YOUR INFRASTRUCTURE 4HE 6IETNAMESE LIBERATED YOU FROM 0OL 0OTx LIBERATED YOU FROM YOURSELVESv %IGHT HOLOCAUST h+ILLAS BE AMONGST YOU AND YOU DONT HAVE A CLUEv n -AD ,ION 0OL 0OT MIGHT BE PHYSICALLY DEAD BUT HIS LEGACY IS EVERYWHERE IN #AMBODIA 4HE REMNANTS OF THE +HMER 2OUGE ARE ALIVEx POSSIBLY LITERALLY ACROSS THE STREET FROM WHERE ) LIVED )NGRID ONCE POINTED OUT THAT h4HE +HMER 2OUGE OPERATED THROUGH SHEER MANPOWER n THERE WERE HUNDREDS OF THOUSANDS OF PEOPLE IN ITS RANKS 7HERE DID THEY GO 4HEY DIDNT DISAPPEAR 4HEYRE HERE 9OUR MOTORBIKE TAXI DRIVER COULD HAVE BEEN AN ACCOMPLICE TO MASS MURDERv 7HEN MOST #AMBODIANS TALK ABOUT 0OL 0OT IT IS IN A VAGUE UNSPECIlED SENSE #AMBODIAN CHILDREN HAVE ALMOST NO KNOWLEDGE OF THAT ERA )TS CERTAINLY NOT TAUGHT IN SCHOOLS 3OME ADULTS LIKE 6UTHY HAVE BEEN TRAUMATIZED TO THE POINT WHERE THE MENTION OF A REFUGEE CAMP MAKES HIS HAIR STAND ON END ) ASKED IF WE COULD SPEAK ABOUT HIS EXPERIENCES (E DECLINED COVERED IN GOOSEBUMPS 0RY 0HALLAY 0HOUNG IS ONE OF THE RARE AND EXCEPTIONAL PEOPLE WHO FEELS COMFORTABLE SPEAKING ABOUT HER LIFE OPENLY ) HAD THE PRIVILEGE OF CONDUCTING AN ORAL HISTORY INTERVIEW WITH HER ONE AFTERNOON 7E SPOKE FOR SEVERAL HOURS /N !PRIL TH A TEENAGE 0HOUNG WAS LIVING IN 0HNOM 0ENH WITH HER FAMILY 4HE +HMER 2OUGE CAPTURED THE CITY AND EVACUATED IT UNDER THE PRETENSE OF APPROACHING !MERICAN BOMBERS 4HREE OF HER BROTHERS HEADED TO STAY WITH HER AUNT AND SHE WENT WITH HER PARENTS AND SIX OTHER SIBLINGS TO THE RURAL +OMPOT 0ROVINCE h7E THOUGHT MY GRANDMOTHER AND GRANDFATHER WOULD BE THERE "UT WE HAD TO LIVE IN 4A #AO 0ROVINCE FOR THREE MONTHS BEFORE WE COULD GET TO +OMPOT h7HEN WE lRST WENT TO STAY IN 4A #AO IT WAS THE DRY SEASON AND THERE WAS NO WORK TO DO 7E SPENT ALL OF OUR TIME TO lND FOOD 7E WALKED KILOMETER TO lND WATER 7E WOULD PICK GRASS TO EAT AND BRING A BASKET TO TRY TO GET ONE OR TWO SMALL lSH -AYBE WE COULD MAKE SOUP WITH A SMALL lSH AND MAYBE WE COULD lND A VEGETABLE 7E WOULD KEEP THE SHELL ,ATER WE WOULD POUND RICE INTO A POWDER AND PUT THE POWDER IN THE SHELL TO MAKE IT LIKE mESHv 0HOUNG AND HER FAMILY OFTEN FOUND INNOVATIVE WAYS TO MAKE DIFFERENT KINDS OF FOOD AND PRETEND THAT IT WAS hREALv h,ATER THEY MADE US WORK IN THE lELDS ) HAD ONE SMALL SMALL SISTER AND ONE YOUNG BROTHER AND THEY STAYED AT HOME -Y MOTHER FATHER ME AND MY SISTER ALL HAD TO WORK IN THE lELDS 7E WERE IN 4A #AO FOR THREE MONTHS 7E REQUESTED FROM THE CHIEFS OF THE COMMUNES MANY MANY TIMES TO LEAVE 4HEY LET US LEAVE AFTER THREE MONTHS 4HEY MADE US WALK FROM 4A #AO TO +AMPOT PROVINCE "UT WHEN WE GOT TO +AMPOT THE SOLDIERS WOULD NOT LET US STAY IN OUR OLD VILLAGE 4HEY MADE US GO TO THE FOREST h4HEY WANTED TO lND OUT WHO ARE THE RICH PEOPLE 7HO ARE THE PEOPLE FROM THE CITY &OR ME THEY ASKED ME MANY TIMES @9OU COME FROM THE CITY ) TELL THEM ) COME FROM 0HNOM 0ENH @7HAT IS YOUR FATHERS JOB ) TELL THEM THAT MY FATHER IS A SELLER (E SELLS THE BREAD "UT THEY DONT BELIEVE ME ) SAY ) HAVE lVE SIBLINGS AND MY FATHER IS VERY POOR (E DOESNT WORK IN THE GOVERNMENTv ) ASKED IF THAT WAS TRUE h.O IT WAS NOT TRUE BUT IT IS WHAT ) HAD TO SAY 4HEY STILL DIDNT BELIEVE ME ) SAID @IF ) WERE RICH PEOPLE MY FACE WOULD NOT LOOK LIKE THISv 0HOUNG POINTED TO THE SEVERE BURN SCARIlCATION COVERING HER NECK AND FACE h"UT THEY DIDNT BELIEVE ME BECAUSE MY OTHER SKIN WAS TOO SOFT THEY SAIDv )N POSTREVOLUTIONARY #AMBODIA CALLOUSFREE SKIN OR GLASSES WERE THE LITMUS TEST FOR AFmUENCE !FmUENCE WAS GROUNDS FOR EXECUTION h"UT ) REMEMBERED WHAT MY MOM TOLD ME 3HE SAID @$O NOT TELL ANYBODY ANYTHING ABOUT THE FAMILY IF YOU ARE TAKEN AWAY 3AY WE ARE POOR AND SELL BREAD !ND AT THAT TIME ) HAD THE BLUE UNIFORM FOR A STUDENT ) SAVED IT SO THAT IF PEOPLE CAME TO STOP THIS REGIME ) COULD WEAR IT AND PROVE TO THEM ) WAS NOT +HMER 2OUGE ) WAS DIFFERENT FROM THEM h7E WORKED IN THE RICE lELDS AT DAYTIME 7E PLANTED RICE !T NIGHTTIME WE CARRIED WOOD AND ROCKS TO MAKE A DAM ,ONG LONG MANY KILOMETER DAMWE HAD TO HIKE VERY FAR 4HEN THEY TOOK ME AND MY SISTER FROM MY FAMILY 4HEY MADE THE YOUTH GO LIVE IN THE MOUNTAINS 7E WERE @MOBILE LABOR )NTERNATIONAL #ENTER FOR %THICS *USTICE AND 0UBLIC ,IFE h4HERE WAS A SHELTER FOR THE GIRLS AND SHELTER FOR THE MENv 0HOUNG AND HER PEERS WERE DIVIDED INTO GROUPS OF EACH GROUP HAVING ITS OWN +HMER 2OUGE OVERSEER CALLED A #HIEF 4HE ONLY POSSESSIONS SHE HAD WERE THE BLUE UNIFORM AND HER MOTHERS RING h/NE DAY THEY SEARCHED EVERYTHING WE HAD 4HEY FOUND THE RING AND FOUND THE UNIFORM 4HE #HIEFS ASKED TO USE THEM ) SAID YES 3HE TOOK MY RING ) DID NOT HAVE TROUBLE BECAUSE SHE STOLE IT SO SHE WAS HAPPY h7E WORKED ALL DAY AND NIGHT 4HE FOOD THEY DID NOT HAVE MUCH FOR US 3OMETIMES WE WOULD HAVE MORNING GLORY OR WATER LILY 7E WOULD TAKE FROM THE POND CHOP IT UP AND PUT IT IN THE BASKET TO BOIL -AKE A SOUP 3OMETIMES THERE WAS COW SHIT IN THE SOUP 4HEY DID NOT CLEAN ANYTHING %VEN IF WE WERE STARVING IF WE SAW SHIT IN OUR SOUP SOME PEOPLE DIDNT EAT )F WE DIDNT EAT THEY WOULD SAY WE WERE SPIES OR THE #)! OR SOMETHING 7E ALWAYS HAD DIARRHEA ALWAYS SICK 4HERE WAS NO HOSPITAL BUT SOMETIMES WE HAD MEDICINE WE MADE FROM A ROOT )F WE COMPLAINED OF HEADACHE THEY WOULD TAKE A NEEDLE PUT IT IN THE VEIN ON THE HEAD AND RUB IT BACK AND FORTH 4HEY SAY IT WILL MAKE THE HEADACHE BETTER 4HEY TRIED TO MAKE ME BUT ) DIDNT WANT TO DO )T WAS VERY PAINFUL AND IT DID NOT MAKE ANYONE BETTER ) ALWAYS PRETENDED TO NOT HAVE PAIN IF THEY WERE GOING TO DO THAT "UT IF THEY OFFERED MEDICINE )D TAKE h4HE CHILDREN OF THE +HMER 2OUGE WOULD MAKE OUR FOOD ) WOULD GO UP TO THE GIRLS WITH A PILLOW AND TELL THEM ) KNEW HOW TO DO EMBROIDERY ) WOULD TAKE THE NEEDLE AND lND STRING FROM PIECES OF CLOTHES AND DO EMBROIDERY ON IT GIVE IT TO THEM AS A GIFT 4HEN THEY MIGHT GIVE ME A FEW TAMARIND OR SOME RICEBUT NOT THE GOOD RICE THE RICE THAT IS VERY HARD FROM THE BOTTOM OF THE POT "UT EATING IT WAS VERY GOOD FOR US WE SAVED IT FOR A VERY LONG TIME A LITTLE BIT EVERY DAY ) WOULD SAVE FOR THE NEW PEOPLE EVERYBODY SHARING ) SHARED WITH THEM BECAUSE ) KNOW THEY WERE GOING HUNGRY h4HERE WERE SOME GIRLS WHO WERE EXPERTS AT CLIMBING THE TREE OR GETTING THE MORNING GLORY FROM THE POND ) WOULD GO WITH THEM TO WORK AND LOOK AFTER THEM 7HEN THE +HMER 2OUGE WERE NOT THERE ) WOULD TAKE SOME EXTRA MORNING GLORY ) WOULD HIDE IT FROM THE CHIEF OF THE GROUP !T THAT TIME WE WOULD ONLY EAT THE SMALL PORRIDGE 3O WE TOOK MORNING GLORY TO SECRETLY EAT WITH OUR RICE h4HE SISTERS THAT SWIM WOULD GO AND GET THE MORNING GLORY -Y JOB WAS TO CARRY IT IN BIG BASKETS ) CARRIED EXTRA BASKETS TO SHOW THE #HIEF ) WAS A GOOD WORKER ) WOULD HIDE THE EXTRA MORNING GLORY IN A SMALL BALL UNDER THE BASKET !T WE WOULD HAVE DINNER 4HE CHIEF OF THE GROUP WOULD GO HAVE DINNER SOMEWHERE ELSE AND WE WOULD QUICK QUICK BOIL OUR MORNING GLORY OR WATER LILY 4HEY DID NOT SEE /NCE WHEN THEY DID WE SAID @/H 3ISTER 7E MADE YOU SOME MORNING GLORY AND GAVE IT TO HER )T PLEASED HER "UT OTHER PEOPLE WERE NOT LUCKY LIKE MExv "AMBOO IS INEDIBLE UNLESS IT IS BOILED FOR DAYS !FTER BEING BOILED IT RETAINS A SOUR TASTE AND STILL CAN ONLY BE EATEN IN VERY SMALL DOSES ,IKE THE RICE POWDER IN THE lSH SKIN THIS WAS ANOTHER CASE IN WHICH 0HOUNG WOULD SCAVENGE WHAT SHE COULD TO DECEIVE HER BODY INTO THINKING SHE WAS EATING ACTUAL FOOD h3OMETIMES WE WOULD SECRETLY EAT BAMBOO "AMBOO IS VERY BITTER SO WE HAD 4HE !RT OF #OEXISTENCE%THICS AND #OEXISTENCE 3TUDENT &ELLOWS TO EAT IT VERY SMALLVERY LITTLE BIT IN THE SOUP AT A TIME 7E HAVE TO BOIL IT lRST OR YOU CANNOT EAT IT 4HE CHIEF FOUND A GIRL EATING A LITTLE BAMBOO IN THE SOUP AND GOT VERY ANGRY 4HE CHIEF FORCED HER TO EAT BAMBOO AND EAT THE VERY BITTER WATER UNTIL SHE VOMITEDv ) WAS REMINDED OF MY FRIEND WHO TRIED A CIGARETTE WHEN SHE WAS 7HEN HER FATHER DISCOVERED HER SMOKING HE FORCED HER TO SMOKE A WHOLE PACK AT ONCE 3HE THREW UP ALL OVER THE mOOR AND NEVER SMOKED AGAIN ) WAS ABOUT TO GIVE 0HOUNG AN ACCOUNT OF THE STORY BUT STOPPED MYSELF SHORT 4HOSE STORIES WERE NOTHING ALIKE ) COULDNT BELIEVE ) ALMOST COMPARED THE +HMER 2OUGE TO A PARENT ADMINISTERING CLICH£ @TOUGH LOVE 5GH h7HEN WE CUT THE MORNING GLORY IF WE DID IT WRONG THEY WOULD SAY WE WERE SPIES )F YOU CUT TOO LOW YOU CUT THE ROOT AND IT CANNOT GROW )T IS DESTROYED 4HEY WOULD SAY THAT WE ARE ENEMIES THAT WE ARE THE 6IETNAMESE BECAUSE WE TRY TO DESTROY /R THEY SAY WE ARE CAPITALISTSWE DO NOT KNOW HOW TO DO FARM WORKv 3HE SPOKE WITH FRANKNESS ) JUST SAT IN FASCINATION h$ID YOU EVER GET ACCUSED OF BEING A SPYv h9ESv h7HAT HAPPENEDv h-ANY TIMES WE WOULD GET VERY VERY TIRED 7E WERE VERY TIRED 7E WOULD GET SO THIRSTY BECAUSE WE WERE TIRED ) SAID @)M THIRSTY AND WENT TO THE POT WHERE THEY BOILED WATER "UT THE WATER DID NOT BOIL ENOUGH 3O ) DELAYED DRINKING SO ) COULD REST ) TOOK THE SHELL FROM THE COCONUT TO TAKE OUT THE WATER 4HEN ) WOULD DRINK SLOWLY SO ) COULD REST 4HEN ) NEEDED TO GO TO THE TOILET /F COURSE THEY DIDNT HAVE A TOILET WE HAD TO GO IN THE FOREST ) WENT TO THE FOREST TO GO TO THE TOILET BUT ) TOOK A VERY GOOD TIME ) NEEDED TO SIT BECAUSE ) WAS TOO TIRED 4O RELAX 4HEY THOUGHT ) RAN AWAY ) CAME BACK AND THEY SAID ) WAS A SPY TRYING TO ESCAPEv 4HE ACCUSATIONS NEVER STUCK BUT THAT DIDNT STOP HER FROM PERPETUALLY FEARING FOR HER LIFE BASED ON HER BACKGROUND (ER FATHER HAD WORKED FOR THE ,ON .OL GOVERNMENT ISSUING PROPERTY TITLES /THER PEOPLE HAD BEEN @DISAPPEARED FOR LESS h) REMEMBER ONE GIRL WHO ALWAYS SAID @/H ) MISS MY FAMILY ) MISS MY FATHER -Y FATHER IS A DOCTOR 3HE KEPT WANTING TO TALK TO ME AND ) SAID NO ) REMEMBERED WHAT MY MOTHER SAID SHE SAID TO NEVER TALK ABOUT OUR FAMILY NEVER TO TALK ABOUT THE SITUATION IN THE CITY 3O ) DIDNT 4HE GIRL ALWAYS TALKED ABOUT COMING FROM THE CITY !LWAYS TALKED ABOUT HER FAMILY 4HE +HMER 2OUGE SAID @9OU CAN GO HOME NOW 4HEY TOLD HER THAT BECAUSE SHE MISSED HER FAMILY THEY WOULD SEND HER HOME 2EALLY THEY WERE INVESTIGATING HER BECAUSE SHE WAS A STUDENT 3HE THOUGHT SHE WAS GOING HOME 3HE WAS SENT TO DIEv )N 0HOUNG WAS TOO SICK TO STAND 3HE WAS SENT BACK TO THE COMMUNE AND STAYED IN THE +AMPOT HOSPITAL FOR MONTHS 4HE ONLY MEDICINE WAS SERUM MADE FROM COCONUT JUICE AND TABLETS WHICH WERE MADE FROM VEGETABLE ROOTS h) WAS VERY VERY VERY VERY SKINNYv (ER SISTER CAME TO TAKE CARE OF HER AND SHE WAS lNALLY REUNITED WITH HER FAMILY ! FEW MONTHS LATER THE 6IETNAMESE INVADED AND OVERTHREW THE +HMER 2OUGE 0HOUNG LIVED IN +AMPOT WITH HER FAMILY WHO ONE BY ONE CAME TO 0HNOM 0ENH )N +AMPOT SHE WANTED TO BE A DOCTOR 3HE WASNT ALLOWED TO BUT SHE WAS ALLOWED TO BE A TEACHER 4HE 6IETNAMESECONTROLLED TRANSITIONAL GOVERNMENT HAD MADE IT ILLEGAL TO LEARN %NGLISH AT THE TIME .EVERTHELESS SHE TAUGHT HERSELF %NGLISH FROM A BOOK SHE FOUND %VENTUALLY lNDING A TEACHER SHE RODE A BIKE FOR KILOMETERS AND STUDIED BY CANDLE LIGHT FROM TO EVERY NIGHT $URING THE DAY SHE WAS A WELLRESPECTED TEACHER TRAINING PEOPLE IN HOSPITALITY TO WORK IN HOTELS 3HE WORKED IN THE RICE lELDS IN THE AFTERNOON !T NIGHT SHE SNUCK AWAY TO IMPROVE HER %NGLISH 4HE STATE HAD EMPLOYED HER AS A TEACHER )N THEY lNALLY ACCEDED TO HER REQUESTS TO GO TO 0HNOM 0ENH AND JOIN THE REST OF HER FAMILY 4HERE SHE FOUND WORK IN A HOTEL AND TAUGHT CLASSES ON HOSPITALITY WORK (ER JOBS lNANCIALLY SUPPORTED HER BROTHER AND SISTER THROUGH SCHOOL "Y NIGHT SHE WAS TAKING ACCOUNTING CLASSES -ORE AND MORE SHE WANTED HER WORK TO BE SOCIALLY RELEVANT 3HE TRIED TO QUIT HER JOB BUT THE HOTEL DID EVERYTHING IN THEIR POWER TO KEEP HER FROM LEAVING INCLUDING REFUSING TO WRITE RECOMMENDATIONS 3HE WAS THE BEST EMPLOYEE THEY HAD h4HEY SAID @7E WILL INCREASE YOUR SALARY ) SAID @) WANT TO INCREASE MY EXPERIENCE ) WANT TO SPEND MY LIFE WORKING FOR WOMEN TO GIVE WOMEN POWER ) WANT TO WORK FOR THE .'/ AND MAKE THE WORLD A BETTER PLACEv 3HE HAS BEEN AT THE 7OMYNS !GENDA FOR #HANGE EVER SINCE 0HOUNG BELIEVES THAT SHE NEEDS TO TELL HER STORY 3HE NEEDS PEOPLE TO KNOW WHAT HAPPENED /FTENTIMES YOUNGER PEOPLE REFUSE TO BELIEVE HER %VEN 3OKUNTHY ONE OF THE MOST INSPIRED 7!#TIVISTS DIDNT BELIEVE AT lRST ) WAS DUMBFOUNDED 3OKUNTHY WAS AN EDUCATED ACTIVE INTELLIGENT PERSON (OW COULD SHE HAVE BEEN SO IGNORANT OF HER OWN COUNTRYS HISTORY ) THOUGHT ABOUT MY OWN CHILDHOOD ) HAD BEEN INUNDATED WITH INFORMATION ABOUT THE HOLOCAUST AND WHAT HAPPENED TO MY PEOPLE IN %UROPE 4HE HISTORICAL OPPRESSION OF *EWS HAD BEEN DRILLED INTO MY HEAD AT SCHOOL SYNAGOGUE AND HOME &ROM THAT POINT FOREWORD ) COULDNT LOOK AT ANY #AMBODIAN OVER AND NOT THINK OF THE PAIN THAT THEY PROBABLY CARRIED INSIDE .INE STORYTELLING h,ET YOUR CHILDREN NAME THEMSELVES AND CLAIM THEMSELVES AS THE NEW DAY FOR TODAY 7E ARE DETERMINED TO BE THE CHANNELERS OF THESE CHANGING FREQUENCIES INTO SONGS PAINTINGS WRITINGS DANCE DRAMA PHOTOGRAPHY CARPENTRY CRAFTS LOVE AND LOVE 7E ENLIST EVERY INSTRUMENT ACOUSTIC ELECTRONIC %VERY SOCALLED RACE GENDER AND SEXUAL PREFERENCE %VERY PERSON AS BEINGS OF SOUND TO ACKNOWLEDGE THEIR RESPONSIBILITY TO UPLIFT THE CONSCIOUSNESS OF THE ENTIRE FUCKING WORLDv n 3AUL 7ILLIAMS ) THOUGHT ABOUT )NGRIDS COMMENT h3O MANY .'/S DO WORK HERE AS IF THE PEOPLE DONT HAVE DEEP SEATED PSYCHOLOGICAL ISSUES 4HERE HAS BEEN NO HEALING PROCESS HEREv (OW CAN WE EVEN APPROACH ANY KIND OF RECONCILIATION ANY KIND OF HEALING WITHOUT A BASIC KNOWLEDGE OF HISTORY h)TS ALL WELL AND GOOD TO TALK ABOUT COEXISTENCE FROM YOUR MOVEMENT OF PRIVILEGE BUT WHAT ABOUT THE +HMER FARMER WHO HAS NO RICE FOR HIS KIDS BECAUSE HE HAS BEEN FUCKED OVER BY THE )-& 7HAT ABOUT ALL THE PEOPLE STRUGGLING TO BARELY SURVIVE 4HEY DONT HAVE THE LUXURY OF COEXISTENCE &UCK THAT PEACE SHITv 2OSANNAS EARLIER DENUNCIATION OF COEXISTENCE WORK STARTED TO SEEM A BIT OBTUSE 7HAT MEANING CAN ECONOMIC EMPOWERMENT REALLY HAVE FOR A COUNTRY THAT CANT LOCATE ITS OWN IDENTITY 5NTIL #AMBODIANS BEGIN TO UNDERSTAND AND ACCEPT WHAT HAPPENED YEARS AGO IT SEEMS THAT THEIR ISSUES OF TRUST AND IDENTITY WILL NEVER BE RESOLVED )N THAT CONTEXT hDEVELOPMENTv WILL ALWAYS HAVE TO COME FROM THE OUTSIDE AS THERE IS NO BASIS FOR #AMBODIANS TO STAND ON THEIR OWN 2OSANNAS REVULSION TO COEXISTENCE MIGHT COME IN PART FROM THE SEMANTICS AROUND THE CONCEPT 4HE LETSALLGET ALONGANDTHROWASIDEOURDIFFERENCES PACIlST CONNOTATION OF COEXISTENCE IS BANKRUPT IN THE CONTEXT OF OPPRESSION AND INJUSTICE ) FOUND THAT MUCH OF THE READING ON THE TOPIC ) HAD DONE PRIOR TO MY ARRIVAL WAS USELESS IN #AMBODIA 4HERE hCONmICTv IS NOT ORGANIZED AS TWO GROUPS ENGAGED IN A DISPUTE )TS NOT BLACK AND WHITE 4HERE ARE MANY INTERSECTING LINES OF POWER AND HISTORY THAT ARE LAYERED TO THE POINT WHERE IT IS UNCLEAR AS TO WHO EVEN NEEDS TO BE BROUGHT TO THE TABLE /PPRESSION IS CONlGURED ALONG STRUCTURAL AND PHYSICAL SYSTEMS OF POWER THAT REQUIRE JUSTICE BEFORE COEXISTENCE )N THE SAME TURN HOWEVER #AMBODIANS NEED TO DEAL WITH THE PSYCHOLOGICAL TRAUMA OF THEIR PAST BEFORE THAT JUSTICE CAN OCCUR (EALING MIGHT REQUIRE IN PART A RECONCILING WITH THOSE WHO COMMITTED CRIMES UNDER THE +HMER 2OUGE 7HEN ) ASKED 0HOUNG ABOUT HER THOUGHTS ON MY REALIZATION THAT MY MOTORBIKE DRIVER MIGHT HAVE PARTICIPATED IN UNSPEAKABLE ATROCITIES SHE SAID h.O ) DO NOT BLAME THEM .ORMAL PEOPLE WERE THE SOLDIERS THEY HAD TO DO IT 4HEY WERE HURT JUST LIKE USv (ER REAL FEAR AND ANGER WAS DIRECTED TOWARD THE +HMER 2OUGE LEADERSHIP WHO IN MANY WAYS STILL CONTROL ASPECTS OF #AMBODIAS PRESENT AND FUTURE 2ECONCILIATION WITH OTHER #AMBODIANS IS ESSENTIAL TO BUILDING THE KIND OF CIVIL SOCIETY REQUIRED FOR SELFDIRECTED EMPOWERMENT TO CHALLENGE AND CONFRONT OPPRESSIVE SYSTEMS )T IS IMPORTANT TO CLARIFY THAT WHEN ) HIGHLIGHT THE NEED FOR RECONCILIATION WITH THE +HMER 2OUGE THAT DOESNT NECESSARILY INCLUDE THE ELITES WHOM ) DO NOT CONSIDER PART OF THE #AMBODIAN POPULACE BUT RATHER PART OF THE OPPRESSION THAT MUST BE CONFRONTED ADVERSARIALLY IF NECESSARY 4HE ONLY ONES CALLING FOR THAT KIND OF RECONCILIATION ARE THE +HMER 2OUGE LEADERS THEMSELVES "Y IGNORING THE NEED FOR RECONCILIATION 2OSANNA IS ALMOST SUBVERTING HER OWN AIMSELF DETERMINATION AND EMPOWERMENTAS IT IS IMPOSSIBLE FOR #AMBODIANS TO PREPARE FOR THE FUTURE IF THEY CANNOT MAKE IT THROUGH THE PRESENT 5NLESS THEY HAVE THE SOCIAL FOUNDATION OF TRUST COMMUNICATION AND HEALING FROM ISSUES OF DEATH AND INHUMANITY IT SEEMS INCONCEIVABLE THAT THEY WILL BE ABLE TO DIRECT THEIR OWN DEVELOPMENT %FFORTS TO CULTIVATE #AMBODIAN AUTONOMY THAT IGNORE THIS ARE DESTINED TO FAIL 4HE 7OMYNS !GENDA FOR #HANGE DOES PLAY AN IMPORTANT ROLE IN RECONCILIATORY WORK EVEN IF 2OSANNA WOULD RATHER NOT THINK OF IT AS UNDER THAT LABEL )NDEED THE KINDS OF COMMUNICATION THAT ARE CENTRAL TO RECONCILIATION INFORM )NTERNATIONAL #ENTER FOR %THICS *USTICE AND 0UBLIC ,IFE MUCH OF 7!#S LOGIC 7!# IS DEDICATED TO CREATING SPACES OF EMPOWERMENT AND SELFEXPRESSION ) HAD HELPED ORGANIZE A RAPE CONFERENCE THAT WAS CENTERED ON SAFE SPACE DIALOGUE AND DISCUSSION AMONGST BOTH BAUK ADVOCATES AND SURVIVORS 4HIS IS RECONCILIATION AT WORK 'IVING WOMEN THE OPPORTUNITY TO DISCUSS THEIR OWN ISSUES SURROUNDING PROBLEMS LIKE SEXUAL ASSAULT AND OTHER FORMS OF DOMINATION DIFFERENTIATES 7OMYNS !GENDA FOR #HANGE FROM OTHER WESTERN .'/S IN 0HNOM 0ENH 7!# IS AT LEAST IN THEORY COMMITTED TO LETTING WOMEN NARRATE THEIR OWN STRUGGLE 7HAT IF 7!# APPLIED THESE IDEAS TO THE DEEP PSYCHOLOGICAL ISSUES SURROUNDING THE +HMER 2OUGE 4HERE ARE THOUSANDS OF PEOPLE WHO LIKE 0HOUNG CARRY INTENSE AND TRAUMATIC MEMORIES UNEXPRESSED AND UNACKNOWLEDGED (EALING ON ANY SOCIETAL SCALE MUST BE COLLECTIVE )T IS HARD FOR ME TO IMAGINE ANY OTHER WAY TO BUILD A SENSE OF TRUST AMONG #AMBODIANS &OR ALL THE RHETORIC ABOUT UNITY AND SOLIDARITY THAT IS THROWN AROUND 7!# THERE CERTAINLY SEEMS TO BE LITTLE ATTENTION PAID TO ENGENDERING THOSE ISSUES OF TRUST OF A SENSE OF FUTURE AND IDENTITY 3OCHEATA AND 3OKUNTHY WOULD BOTH REGULARLY ASK ME ABOUT WHAT ITS LIKE BEING PART OF A hSOCIAL MOVEMENTv 4HEY WOULD OFTEN BRAINSTORM WAYS TO CULTIVATE SUCH A POLITICAL AND SOCIAL FORMATION 0ROGRESSIVE SOCIAL MOVEMENTS HAVE SPRUNG UP IN THE CONTEXT OF DIRE POVERTY ALL AROUND THE WORLDxWHY NOT IN #AMBODIA !NY KIND OF #AMBODIAN SOCIAL MOVEMENT SEEMS INCONCEIVABLE IN THE ABSENCE OF A COLLECTIVE IDENTITY 7!#S WORK WITH GARMENT WORKERSFACILITATING DEVELOPMENT OF TRUST AND AWARENESS OF MUTUAL DEPENDENCYMUST HAPPEN BEYOND THE WALLS OF THE 7!# BOAT AND $ROP)N #ENTERS OUTSIDE FACTORIES 7HAT WILL HAPPEN WHEN THE OLDER GENERATION DIES IF THE KIDS ARENT TAUGHT ABOUT WHAT HAPPENED TO THEIR PARENTS 0HNOM 0ENH NEEDS MORE PEOPLE LIKE 0HOUNG 3O MUCH #AMBODIAN HISTORY IS BEING NARRATED FROM OUTSIDE OBSERVERS SO MUCH OF THE STORY IS TOLD BY PEOPLE WHO HAVENT EXPERIENCED IT !ND SOMETIMES ) THINK ITS IMPOSSIBLE FOR OUTSIDERS TO EVER GET THE STORY RIGHT 4EN PASS THE PRIVILEGE h9OUR ACTIONS SPEAK SO LOUD ) CANT HEAR A WORD YOURE SAYINGv n 'REG 'RAFlN 3O THERES THIS !MERICAN JOURNALIST WHO WAS WRITING A BOOK ABOUT THE 3OUTHEAST !SIAN GARMENT INDUSTRY ) DONT REMEMBER HER NAME (ER BOOK INTENDS TO FOLLOW AROUND ONE PIECE OF FABRIC THROUGH ITS DIFFERENT STAGES OF DEVELOPMENT AND THE AUTHOR PROPOSES THAT SHE IS GIVING THE READER hAN OBJECTIVE VIEW OF HOW GLOBALIZATION WORKSv /F COURSE 2OSANNA HATED HER 2O ASKED ME WHAT ) THOUGHT OF THE BOOK IDEA ) SHRUGGED h) DUNNO 4HAT FRAMEWORK SEEMS REALLY SUPERlCIALv h7HAT DO YOU MEANv h7ELL IT TOTALLY IGNORES THE UNDERLYING STRUCTURES OF DOMINATION THAT LAY BEHIND THE CREATION OF THE CONDITIONS THAT SHE WILL BE TRYING TO TALK ABOUT IN HER BOOK "Y FOCUSING ON THE PIECE OF CLOTHING ITSELF SHE DRAWS ATTENTION AWAY FROM THE ISSUES THAT REALLY MATTERv 4HE !RT OF #OEXISTENCE%THICS AND #OEXISTENCE 3TUDENT &ELLOWS h%XACTLY 3HE CAME TO 7!# THE OTHER DAY AND ASKED FOR MY HELP ) TOLD HER WHAT ) THOUGHT OF HER IDEA 3HE SEEMED UNACCUSTOMED TO PEOPLE NOT PRAISING HER !LL SHE SAID WAS @7ELL ) ALREADY PROPOSED THIS AS A TOPICx SHE DIDNT EVEN WANT TO ENGAGE WITH HER ROLE AND WHAT SHE WAS DOING ) PUT HER IN TOUCH WITH 4IEN AND 3OKUNTHY -AYBE SHELL LEARN SOMETHING ) DONT KNOWv 3OKUNTHY AND 4IEN WORK ON 7!#S hLABOR WEDGEv PROJECT AND SPEND A GREAT DEAL OF THEIR TIME ORGANIZING WITH GARMENT WORKERS #AMBODIAN GARMENT WORKERS SLAVE AWAY IN SWEATSHOP CONDITIONS AND ALMOST ALL OF THEM ARE FEMALE 4HEY ORGANIZE IN SPACES CALLED $ROP)N #ENTERS ON THE RURAL OUTSKIRTS OF 0HNOM 0ENH /NE MORNING ,EAH AND ) JOINED THEM ON THEIR TRIP TO THE $ROP)N #ENTER 3OKUNTHY WAS TOO NICE TO SAY NO WHEN THE JOURNALIST ASKED TO TAG ALONG TOO 7E PILED INTO THE WHITE /XFAM (ONG +ONG *EEP AND 3OKUNTHY PROCEEDED TO EXPLAIN ALL ABOUT THE WORKERS WE WERE GOING TO MEET 3HE SPOKE QUICKLY HER FACE ANIMATED BY HER EYES DARTING ALL AROUND 3HE WAS IN HER EARLY TWENTIES AND ONE OF THE MOST DEDICATED ACTIVISTS AT 7!# 3OKUNTHY WAS CONTINUALLY INTERRUPTED BY THE JOURNALIST WHO DIDNT ASK QUESTIONS BUT INSTEAD FOUND WAYS TO REFERENCE HERSELF AND HER ACCOLADES 7E SOON WERE ONLY TALKING ABOUT HER FEATURE ARTICLES IN 3PIN MAGAZINE ) GAVE UP TRYING TO SHIFT THE CONVERSATION BACK TO #AMBODIAN GARMENT WORKERS AND GAZED OUT THE WINDOW /UR TIRES KICKED UP STORMS OF DIRT AND WE LEFT A TRAIL OF #AMBODIANS YELLING h(ELLOv IN OUR WAKE #HICKENS PECKED AT THE SIDES OF THE ROADS UNDER THE BANANA TREES THAT SHADED THE SMALL SHOPS SELLING *UICYFRUIT GUM 4HE ONLY OTHER VISIBLE BUSINESSES WERE FRUIT STANDS AND MOTORBIKE REPAIR SHOPS -Y ATTEMPTS AT JOURNAL WRITING WERE THWARTED BY THE ROADS REFUSAL TO STOP BUMPING US UP AND DOWN 4HE RICE lELDS WERE ENDLESS #LUSTERS OF MANGROVES HUNG LIKE OASES IN THE MURKY BROWN AND GREEN !FTER ABOUT MINUTES WE TOOK A LEFT AND DROVE PAST A SERIES OF TEXTILE FACTORIES 6ARIOUS MULTINATIONAL COMPANIES OUTSOURCE THEIR LABOR HERE /NE FACTORY MIGHT SERVE FOR EXAMPLE &ILA .IKE AND 'AP 4HE $ROP)N #ENTER WAS CLOSE BY "LUE SHEET METAL ROOlNG COVERED A BEIGE BUILDING BARELY BIG ENOUGH TO lT THE WORKERS 7E SAT IN A CIRCLE AND THEY DISCUSSED GRIEVANCES AND PLANS 4HEY SPOKE IN +HMER AND WITH 3OKUNTHY ACTIVELY PARTICIPATING AND THE JOURNALIST MONOPOLIZING 4IENS TRANSLATING SKILLS ) JUST SAT BACK AND WATCHED 4HE SOLIDARITY WAS ALMOST TANGIBLE )T WAS THE KIND OF THING WE TALK ABOUT HAVING IN ACTIVISTS GROUPS ) BELONG TO IN THE 3TATES BUT LACK THE URGENCY AND IMMEDIACY TO BE ABLE TO FULLY REALIZE 4HESE WOMEN WERE LIVING A REALITY OF ABUSE &OR THESE WOMEN THESE MEETINGS WERE THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN LIFE AND DEATH 4HEY WERE DETERMINED BUT ALSO LAUGHING 7E BROKE FOR LUNCH AND ) PROCEEDED TO PHOTOGRAPH EACH WOMANS PROlLE FOR A 7!# 0OWER0OINT PRESENTATION 4HE JOURNALIST TOLD 4IEN TO h4ELL THIS WOMAN AND THIS WOMAN AND THIS WOMAN THAT ) WANT TO INTERVIEW THEM AT A LATER DATE WHEN ) HAVE MY TRANSLATORv 4IEN SEEMED UNEASY BUT @TOLD THEM 4HE WOMEN WERE MORE THAN WILLING TO TALK TO THE JOURNALISTx) WONDERED IF THEY REALIZED IT WAS APPARENTLY THEIR OBLIGATION TO DO SO 3OKUNTHY ASKED WHY SHE COULDNT JUST INTERVIEW THE WORKERS NOW h/H WELL YOU KNOW ) HAVE MY OWN PERSONAL TRANSLATOR 3HES A PROFESSIONAL NOT LIKE YOU GUYSv ) WISHED 3OKUNTHY WOULD SLAP THE 6ERSACE SUNGLASSES OFF HER FACE #HUCKLING AT THE IRONY OF THE @COEXISTENCE INTERN HAVING FANTASIES OF VIOLENCE ) TURNED BACK TO THE WORKERS WHO WERE STILL PASSIONATELY SPEAKING 4HEY WERE TALKING ABOUT STARTING A WORKEROWNED COLLECTIVE FACTORY 4HE IDEA WAS THAT IT WILL APPEAL TO &AIR 4RADE CLOTHING MANUFACTURERS WHO WERE lNDING A GROWING MARKET NICHE IN %UROPE AND TO A LESSER DEGREE THE 5NITED 3TATES 4HEY COULD THEN FULLY LIBERATE THEMSELVES FROM THE SWEATSHOPS THEY CURRENTLY TOIL IN 7!# WAS HELPING THEM WITH THE RESOURCES AND LOGISTICS 4HE PLAN WAS STILL IN ITS INFANCY 4HE JOURNALIST RANTED ABOUT HOW RECKLESS AND IRRESPONSIBLE IT WAS ON THE ENTIRE WAY HOME ) ARGUED h3O WHAT IF THIS FACTORY FAILSv h7ELL NOBODY SAID IT WASNT A BIG RISKv h"UT THEY CAN NEGOTIATE FOR HIGHER WAGES AT THE FACTORIES THEYRE ATv h/F COURSE THEY CANT 4HEYD GET lRED 9OU KNOW THATv )M UNSURE IF IT WAS MY TONE OF VOICE OR WHAT BUT SHE TOOK WHAT SHOULD HAVE BEEN A COMPLETELY APPARENT AND UNCONTROVERSIAL STATEMENT AS A CALL TO ARMS h)M SICK OF PEOPLE DEMONIZING THE OWNERS OF THESE FACTORIES 9OU CANT JUST SAY THE WORKERS ARE PURE AND GOOD AND THE BOSSES ARE EVIL )TS MORE COMPLICATED THAN THATv h5M OKAY 4HATS NOT WHAT ) WAS DOING BUT HOW IS IT MORE COMPLICATED THAN THATv h"ECAUSE ITS NOT THAT SIMPLEv h) KNOW ITS NOT "UT EXPLAIN TO ME WHAT YOURE SAYINGv h7ELL THE OWNERS OF THESE FACTORIES TAKE A BIG lNANCIAL RISK BY INVESTING IN THESE PLACESv h7HATv h)M JUST SAYING THAT THERE IS A RISK INVOLVED ON THEIR PART TOOv ) WAS mABBERGASTED 7AS SHE REALLY JUSTIFYING EXPLOITATION ON THE PREMISE THAT THERE IS lNANCIAL RISK IN INVESTMENT )F THESE WOMEN ASK TO GO TO THE BATHROOM AT WORK THEY ARE RISKING THEIR LIVELIHOOD )TS A LIFE OR DEATH DECISION 7AS SHE CONmATING THAT RISK WITH THE RISK ON THE PART OF OUTSIDE INVESTORS 7OW 7AS THE NOTION OF A COLLECTIVE FACTORY REALLY OUTRAGEOUS 2OSANNA ONCE EXPOUNDED ON HER CONTEMPT FOR LIBERALS WHO CHASTISE HER FOR BEING @UNREALISTIC h7HO EXACTLY IS THE ONE WHOS NOT BEING REALISTIC 7HAT ARE YOU DOING 9OURE TRYING TO SHOW CORPORATIONS THAT POVERTY EXISTS IN THE HOPES OF THEM SAYING @OH ) NEVER REALIZED )LL TELL THE SHAREHOLDERS THAT THEIR PROlTS ARE GOING TO GO DOWN A BIT SO WE DONT HURT THESE PEOPLE 'IVE ME A BREAKv 3HE CONTINUED SWITCHING TO CONDEMNATION OF RECONCILIATION h4HESE PEOPLE DONT WANT TO @RECONCILE WITH THEIR EXPLOITERS 4HEY WANT TO OVERTHROW AND KILL THEIR EXPLOITERSv 4HE WORKERS ARENT EXACTLY THE IMAGES OF GUERILLA REVOLUTIONARIES THAT THAT STATEMENT MIGHT EVOKE BUT AT THAT MEETING ) COULD CERTAINLY SEE WHAT SHE MEANT ) COULD FEEL IT 4HESE WOMEN HAD BEEN SO BEATEN DOWN AND OPPRESSED THAT THEIR STRENGTH CAME FROM A VISION OF A WORLD IN WHICH THERE ARE NO MASTERSNOT ONE IN WHICH THEIR MASTERS ARE NICE AND GENEROUS AND GIVE THEM HIGH WAGES "UT WAS A COLLECTIVE FACTORY A REALIZABLE SOLUTION 4HE JOURNALIST WAS ON A RAMPAGE h)TS RIDICULOUS ) MEAN ITS A WONDERFUL IDEA AND ALL BUT WHEN THESE WOMEN QUIT THEIR JOBS AND TRY TO START A FACTORY AND IT TANKS IT WILL BE 7!#S FAULTv )T WASNT THE VIABILITY OF THE FACTORY THAT ) TOOK ISSUE WITH IT WAS THE ASSUMPTIONS IMPLICIT IN HER LANGUAGE ) WAS GETTING FED UP h$ONT YOU THINK YOU ARENT GIVING THESE WOMEN ENOUGH CREDIT 4HEY ARENT CHILDREN 4HEY CAN MAKE THEIR OWN DECISIONSv h3URE BUT 7!# HAS TO TAKE RESPONSIBILITY FOR PUTTING THIS IDEA INTO THEIR HEADSv h"UT DONT YOU THINK ITS PATERNALISTIC FOR YOU TO TREAT THEM LIKE MINDLESS BEINGS WITHOUT AGENCY !RENT THEY CAPABLE OF CHOOSING WHETHER OR NOT THEY WANT TO DO THISv 2ESPONDING TO THE TENSION SOMEONE TURNED ON THE RADIO 3UDDENLY ALL WE HEARD WERE BASS BEATS AND THE WORDS h,UDACRIS GOT THE mOW TO MAKE YOUR BOOTY GO CLAPv 7EIRD %LEVEN CONSCIOUSLY FALSE h) SIT ON A MANgS BACK CHOKING HIM AND MAKING HIM CARRY ME AND YET ASSURE MYSELF AND OTHERS THAT ) AM VERY SORRY FOR HIM AND WISH TO EASE HIS LOT BY ALL POSSIBLE MEANS EXCEPT BY GETTING OFF HIS BACKv ,EO 4OLSTOY 4HE NEXT DAY AT THE GYM ) WAS STILL SEETHING 4HIS WOMAN AND HER 7ESTERN ARROGANCE WAS EVERYTHING ) PROMISED MYSELF ) WOULDNT BE ) WORKED MY FRUSTRATION OUT OF ME AND SLOWLY MY SELFREmECTIVE SIDE KICKED IN 7HAT EXACTLY ARE THE IMPLICATIONS OF 7ESTERN PATERNALISM 3MIRKING ) DECIDED THAT THE STRONGEST PATERNALISTIC DISCOURSE TODAY CAN PROBABLY BE FOUND IN A MAINSTREAM %CON TEXTBOOK 0ART OF THE PROGRAM OF THE 7OMYNS !GENDA FOR #HANGE IS THE ANALYSIS AND CHALLENGING OF ECONOMIC GLOBALIZATION IN #AMBODIA 4HE CONTRADICTIONS BETWEEN NEOLIBERAL RHETORIC AND REALITY IT IMPOSED WERE APPARENT TO ALL OF US ) WOULD LATER lND THIS CONCEPT ARTICULATELY DESCRIBED IN A BOOK CALLED &EMINIST &UTURES !LTHOUGH THE CONCEPT OF DEMOCRACY IS ENTHUSIASTICALLY ESPOUSED BY THE CHAMPIONS OF GLOBALIZATION IT IS NEVER FOLLOWED IN SPIRIT BECAUSE AS 'RAY SAYS @DEMOCRACY AND THE FREE MARKET ARE RIVALS NOT ALLIES .EOCOLONIAL INSTITUTIONS SUCH AS THE 7ORLD 4RADE /RGANIZATION WHICH SEE THEMSELVES AS THE EPITOME OF A @FREE MARKET FRAME RULES FOR THE MARKET WHICH ARE NOT OPEN TO THE SCRUTINY OF ANY DEMOCRATIC LEGISLATURE 'RAY 4HESE INSTITUTIONS WHICH IDEALISTICALLY SPEAK OF EQUALITY FOR ALL ACTUALLY REINFORCE WHAT 3PIVAK CALLS THE @CONTINUING NARRATIVE OF SHIFTING IMPERIALIST FORMATIONS BECAUSE THEIR NORMS OF FUNCTIONING ADHERE TO SOCIAL CULTURAL AND LEGAL FRAMEWORKS THAT ARE PREDOMINANTLY 7ESTERNx .EOCOLONIAL NARRATIVES DESPITE THEIR EGALITARIANSOUNDING SLOGANS OF A @FREE MARKET AND GLOBAL @EQUITY CONTINUE TO EMPHASIZE OVERTLY OR COVERTLY THE MANAGERIAL AUTHORITY OF ELITE GROUPS 4HESE GROUPS TALK OF TRANSCENDING BORDERS TO ALLOW A MULTINATIONAL mOW OF CAPITAL AND ENTERPRISE BUT RETAIN A CLEARLY MARKED DIVISION BETWEEN 7ESTERN OR 7EST TRAINED MANAGERS AND LARGELY NON7ESTERN WORKERS 4HE )NTERNATIONAL #ENTER FOR %THICS *USTICE AND 0UBLIC ,IFE DOMINANT MANAGERIAL CORE USUALLY COMPRISING 7ESTERN @WHITE MALES $OZIER 'RUNIG AND 'RUNIG FORMULATES POLICIES FOR THE ENTIRE WORKFORCE ALTHOUGH IN NUMERICAL TERMS WHITE MALE 7ESTERNERS ARE ONLY THE SMALL MINORITY )N MOST TRANSNATIONAL ORGANIZATIONS IN THE AGE OF GLOBALIZATION THE CONTROL OF UNDERPRIVILEGED GROUPS ALIGNS CLOSELY WITH THE CONTROL OF DISEMPOWERED EMPLOYEES WHO ARE MOSTLY LIKELY TO BE IMMIGRANTS WOMEN AND PEOPLE OF COLOUR 3ASSEN 4HIS DUAL CONTROL IS EXERCISED BY CORE GROUPS OF ORGANIZATIONAL LEADERS WHO ARE THUS DOUBLY PRIVILEGED BY VIRTUE OF THEIR ETHNICITY AND BECAUSE OF THEIR POSITIONS IN ORGANIZATIONAL HIERARCHIES v +URIAN AND -UNSHI 3OME OF THE YOUNGER PEOPLE AT 7!# HAD INCREDIBLY SOPHISTICATED ANALYSES OF GLOBALIZATION 9ET WHEN WE DISCUSSED POLITICS THEY WOULD ASK ME TO CLARIFY TERMS LIKE hRIGHT WINGv AND hLEFT WINGv ) MENTIONED THIS PHENOMENON TO 2OSANNA h4HATS BECAUSE ITS MY ANALYSISv SHE REPLIED !T THIS POINT THE IRONY WAS PALPABLE (OW MUCH DID THE CONTRADICTION IN NEOLIBERAL RHETORIC REmECT INCONSISTENCIES IN THE MISSION OF A 7ESTERN .'/ IN #AMBODIA (OW MUCH DOES A GROUPS STRUCTURE AS OPPOSED TO ITS AGENDA DETERMINE ITS IMPACT !ZIZAH 9 (IBRI AND ) AGREE THE ANSWER IS QUITE A LOT !T ITS MOST ABSTRACT LEVEL ) DElNE PATRIARCHY AS A HIERARCHICAL SYSTEM IN WHICH CONTROL mOWS FROM THE TOP 4HUS IN A PATRIARCHAL SYSTEM MEN OPPRESS OTHER MEN AND NOT ONLY WOMEN 4HIS IS WHY ENDING SUCH A SYSTEM IS BETTER FOR ALL OF HUMANITY AND NOT ONLY WOMEN &URTHERMORE THE TOP OF THE PYRAMID IN A PATRIARCHAL SYSTEM COULD BE lLLED WITH EITHER MEN OR WOMEN WITNESS -ARGARET 4HATCHER WITHOUT ITS PATRIARCHAL NATURE BEING CHANGED )F 7ESTERN FEMINISTS ARE NOW VYING FOR CONTROL OF THE LIVES OF IMMIGRANT WOMEN BY JUSTIFYING COERCIVE STATE ACTION THEN THESE WOMEN HAVE NOT LEARNED THE LESSONS OF HISTORY BE IT COLONIALISM IMPERIALISM OR EVEN FASCISM !L (IBRI IN /KIN 2OSANNA A RADICAL FEMINIST OCCUPIES THE SLOT AT THE TOP OF THE PYRAMID THAT IS 7!# )F WE ACCEPT THAT THE BASIC STRUCTURE OF AN .'/A BUREAUCRATIC ORGANIZATION IN WHICH OUTSIDERS COME IN TO hHELPv LOCALSIT FOLLOWS THAT ANY ORGANIZATION WISHING TO SUBVERT THIS DOMINATION MUST EMBODY THEIR AIMS STRUCTURALLY AS WELL AS IDEOLOGICALLY )N AN IMMEDIATE SENSE 7!# STRIVES FOR EGALITARIANISM ) THOUGHT OF 3OPHEAP THE CLEANERS FACE NEXT TO 2OSANNAS ON THE DIRECTORY )T SURELY WOULD BE ROMANTIC HOWEVER TO BELIEVE THAT 7!# IS FREE OR HAS ANY PRETENSES OF BEING FREE FROM HIERARCHY !S ) STARTED THE THIRD INCLINE ON THE ELLIPTICAL MACHINE ) THOUGHT ABOUT THE BANKRUPTCY OF MY hSOLIDARITY NOT CHARITYv CONCLUSION ABOUT FEMINISM AND CULTURAL IMPERIALISM 3UCH QUESTIONS ARENT SO CLEARCUT 7HAT EXACTLY CONSTITUTES SOLIDARITY 4HE TERM AT THAT POINT SEEMED MEANINGLESS )N THE CASE OF THE 7!# ISSUES OF hCONTROLv ARE DIFlCULT TO DECIPHER 4HE STAFF OF 7!# IS ALMOST ENTIRELY #AMBODIAN 4HE ONLY hWESTERNERSv ARE 2OSANNA -ATT AND WHATEVER INTERNS HAPPEN TO BE VOLUNTEERING 4HE !RT OF #OEXISTENCE%THICS AND #OEXISTENCE 3TUDENT &ELLOWS AT THE TIME !LL OF THE MAJOR PROJECTS ARE HEADED UP BY #AMBODIANS AND #AMBODIANS DO MOST OF THE WORK .'/ WORK IS PRACTICALLY THE ONLY ENTRANCE INTO THE MIDDLE CLASS IN #AMBODIAN SOCIETY )T WOULD BE ROMANTIC TO IGNORE THIS AS THE MOTIVATION FOR SOME OF THE 7!# EMPLOYEES )TS 2OSANNAS ECONOMIC AND SOCIAL ANALYSIS THAT STRUCTURES THE ACTIVISM THERE )NDEED ONE COULD SAY THAT MANY OF THE ACTIVISTS THERE ARE MERELY PARROTING HER ANALYSIS "UT WHAT DOES THAT MEAN 7HO IS TO SAY THAT THEY ARENT ADOPTING HER ANALYSIS BECAUSE IT IS WELL THOUGHT OUT AND COMPLETELY APPROPRIATE FOR THEIR SITUATION 7HAT IF HER ANALYSIS RESONATES WITH THEM 2EMOVAL OF AGENCY FROM #AMBODIANS IS PATERNALISTIC -ANY OF THE WOMEN AT 7!# ARE PASSIONATELY DEDICATED TO NARRATING THEIR OWN CULTURETO RECLAIMING IT FROM IMPERIAL POWER MALE DOMINATION AND FROM THE .'/S AND FOREIGNERS LIKE ME THAT ALL TOO OFTEN SPEAK IN THEIR NAME 2EAL #AMBODIAN WOMEN ARE SUFFERING ON A DAILY BASIS AND TO THINK THAT OTHER #AMBODIANS CANNOT BE CONCERNED FOR THEIR EMPOWERMENT UNLESS THEY ARE COERCED BY POWER MIGHT IN ITSELF BE RACIST 9ET TO IGNORE THAT DYNAMIC OF POWERTO IGNORE THE SYSTEMS THAT STRUCTURE WHAT CHOICES AND OPTIONS ARE AVAILABLEIS NAÉVE 2OSANNA IS AN OUTSIDER TOO !N IMPOSING ONE AT THAT 3HE AND BY EXTENSION 7!# CONTRIBUTES TO THE UNDERLYING TENSION BETWEEN #AMBODIANS AND FOREIGNERS JUST AS MUCH AS ANY OTHER WHITE PERSON ) PEDALED HARDER FRUSTRATED WITH MYSELF 4HE CONDITIONS UNDER WHICH PEOPLES CHOICES ARE STRUCTURED SEEM SO CONVOLUTED THAT hSOLIDARITYv SEEMS TO BE AN IMPOSSIBLE NOTION TO REALLY UNDERSTAND -AYBE ITS JUST A JUSTIFYING NARRATIVE SO THAT ACTIVISTS FROM THE GLOBAL NORTH CAN FEEL GOOD ABOUT THEIR WORK ) SIGHED AND STEPPED OFF THE MACHINE 4HE ONLY APPROPRIATE RESPONSE IT SEEMED IS MOVING FORWARD )F CONSCIOUSNESS IS THERE PARALYSIS IS THE ONLY ILLEGITIMATE CONCLUSION 4WELVE DEMONSTRATE h;7E LIVE IN A= WORLD WHERE @RECONCILIATION MEANS THAT WHEN ONE SIDE GETS THE POWER AND THE OTHER SIDE IS RECONCILED TO IT THEN WE HAVE RECONCILIATIONv 3AUL !LINSKY 4HERE WAS NO LONGER ANY FARMLAND 4HE SUBURBS BELOW ME HAD AN UNCANNY RESEMBLANCE TO MICROCHIPS 7HEN THE PLANE LANDED THE LUGGAGE CARTS COST THREE DOLLARS INSTEAD OF BEING FREE ) WAS HOME ) HAD BEEN KEEPING A JOURNAL ALL SUMMER ) HAD EVEN WRITTEN ASSIGNMENTS DESIGNED TO HELP ME PROCESS THE EXPERIENCE 4HE TOTALITY OF IT ALL HOWEVER DIDNT HIT ME UNTIL ) WAS BACK IN THE 3TATES ) HAD BEEN HOME FOR ABOUT A WEEK AND DECIDED TO GO TO .EW 9ORK #ITY TO PROTEST THE 2EPUBLICAN .ATIONAL #ONVENTION !BOUT A HALF HOUR INTO THE DEMONSTRATION ) WAS LYING ON A SIDEWALK IN HANDCUFFS !N OFlCER SNIDELY REMARKED h9OURE BEING ARRESTED FOR EXERCISING RIGHTS YOU THOUGHT YOU HAD "UT ) GUESS YOU DIDNT HAVE @EM DIDJAv ) SAT IN JAIL THINKING ABOUT HOW ) FELT MORE COMFORTABLE IN A POLITICALLY VOLATILE THIRD WORLD NATION THAN ) DID IN MY OWN COUNTRY ) STILL HADNT PIECED TOGETHER MY ROLE IN #AMBODIA WHICH CALLED INTO QUESTION MY ROLE HERE IN THE 53 ) LIVE MY LIFE IN A STATE OF PERPETUAL INSPIRATION !NOTHER WORLD IS POSSIBLE ) KNOW IT 9ET ) SOMEHOW HAVE FOUND A WAY TO RECONCILE IDEALISM ALONGSIDE ACKNOWLEDGING WHAT IS OFTEN TIMES A VERY DEPRESSING REALITY 4HE DIRT ON THE mOOR OF THE JAIL CELL WAS MINGLING WITH SPLOTCHES OF MOTOR OIL 7E WERE DEFEATED )F ) WAS GOING TO GET ARRESTED ) MIGHT AS WELL HAVE BEEN DOING SOMETHING USEFUL !LL ) DID WAS RIDE A BICYCLE DOWN A STREET FOR A HALF HOUR ) PLACED MY HEAD ON THE AFRO OF THE KID NEXT TO ME AND SIGHED hWHAT A FUCKING WASTEv (E NODDED AND GRASPED MY HAND %VERY YEAR THE 4ON ,E 3AP REVERSES ITS CURRENT AGAIN %VERYTHING BECOMES AS IT WAS 7HAT ) USED TO SEE AS A METAPHOR FOR REVOLUTION BEGAN TO REPRESENT REACTION AND REGRESSION (OW DOES ONE MEASURE SUCCESS IN THEIR ACTIVISM &ALLING SHORT OF A COMPLETE SOCIAL REVOLUTION THAT REALIZES A SOCIETY GROUNDED IN REAL JUSTICE AND COMPASSION WHATS OUR GOAL 7HETHER OR NOT MY PRESENCE AT 7!# WAS @LEGITIMATE OR NOT ) DIDNT REALLY CHANGE ANYTHING BY BEING THERE ) WAS CONTENT WITH THAT THOUGH IT TOOK ME A WHILE TO RID MYSELF OF THE PRODUCTORIENTED AMBITION THAT ACADEMIA HAS INSTILLED IN ME 4HE 7OMYNS !GENDA FOR #HANGE IS CHANGING PEOPLES LIVES 4HEY WORK TO PROVIDE PEOPLE WITH REAL CHOICES THAT WERENT THERE BEFORE 7!# IS HELPING DOMESTIC ABUSE VICTIMS RAPE SURVIVORS SEX WORKERS AND PEOPLE WITH !)$3 GIVE THEMSELVES POWERFUL SUPPORT NETWORKS AND POLITICAL REPRESENTATION 4HEYRE GIVING PEOPLE ALTERNATIVES "UT DOES 7!# REALLY HAVE THE CAPACITY TO BRING ABOUT ANY SORT OF STRUCTURAL CHANGE IN #AMBODIAN SOCIETY !RE THEY REALLY CHANGING ANYTHING INSTITUTIONALLY 0OLITICALLY 3YSTEMICALLY #AMBODIA IS STILL A PLACE WHERE YOU CAN BUY YOUR WAY OUT OF JAIL AND BUY YOUR WAY INTO AN ARCHITECTURE DEGREE THOUGH MOST PEOPLE CANNOT AFFORD TO BUY A MEAL 5NION ORGANIZERS REGULARLY GET MURDERED IN THE STREETS 4HERE IS ESSENTIALLY NO FUNCTIONING GOVERNMENT THOUGH NO ONE DARES CHALLENGE THE STATE 0EOPLE ARE BRUTALIZED IN JAIL ,IMBLESS LANDMINE SURVIVORS BEG ON THE STREETS (UMAN BEINGS ARE TRAFlCKED 7ITH SUCH A LACK OF CIVIL SOCIETY HOW EFFECTIVE CAN AN .'/ WITH A REVOLUTIONARY AGENDA REALLY BE ) REMEMBER ASKING 2OSANNA ABOUT WHAT PROGRESS SHE HAS SEEN IN #AMBODIA DURING HER TIME THERE (ER ONLY REPLY WAS h7ELL THE HEALTH OF DOGS HAS IMPROVED A LOTv 0EOPLE REGULARLY ASK ME WHY ) CONTINUE MY ACTIVISM IN THE FACE OF SUCH DEFEAT 4HE ANSWER IT ALWAYS SEEMED WAS SELF EVIDENT THERES NOTHING ELSE YOU CAN DO "UT THAT DAY IN JAIL ) FOUND MYSELF ASKING THE SAME QUESTION OF THE 7OMYNS !GENDA FOR #HANGE )F ITS TRUE THAT NOTHING HAS CHANGED THEN WHATS THE POINT 4HE POINT ) THINK IS THAT ACTIVISM IS CHANGING THINGS )M NOT ABOUT TO PRESENT A FRAMEWORK FOR EVALUATING THE EFlCACY OF RADICAL PROJECTS 3OCIAL PROGRESS DOESNT HAPPEN ON A LINEAR MODEL OUR AGITATION RIPPLES AND PULSATES AND AFFECTS THE WORLD IN WAYS THAT ARENT NECESSARILY QUANTIlABLE 4HE EMOTIONAL RELIEF OF ONE SEXUAL ABUSE SURVIVOR CANNOT BE MEASURED 4HE 7OMYNS !GENDA FOR #HANGE HAS TOUCHED THE LIVES OF EVERYONE ) HAVE SEEN THEM COME INTO CONTACT WITH !T THE SAME TIME ) CANT DISMISS THEIR ROLE AS AN OUTSIDE INSTITUTION FURTHER PERPETUATING A SYSTEM OF DEPENDENCE IN #AMBODIAN SOCIETY !S MUCH AS 7!# MAY ATTEMPT TO ACCOUNT FOR THIS POWER DISPARITY THEIR VERY STRUCTURE AS AN .'/ WILL ULTIMATELY CONTRADICT THEIR AIMS OF GENUINE AUTONOMY 2OSANNA #ES AND ) ALL CONTRIBUTED TO THAT DYNAMIC 4HIS DOES NOT MEAN THAT ALL WELLINTENTIONED 7ESTERNERS SHOULD PACK UP AND GO HOME )NDEED SUCH A CONCLUSION IS CRUEL )F RADICALS ARE SERIOUS HOWEVER ABOUT HELPING #AMBODIA TRANSFORM ITSELF INTO A PLACE THAT REALIZES PRINCIPLES OF JUSTICE AS ARTICULATED BY #AMBODIANS THEMSELVES MOST NOTABLY SECTIONS OF #AMBODIAN SOCIETY THAT ARE USUALLY MARGINALIZEDFOR EXAMPLE WOMEN )T WOULD NOT SUFlCE TO HAVE #AMBODIAS DESTINY CONSTRUCTED ONLY BY WEALTHY +HMER MEN THEN WE MUST TAKE SERIOUSLY A HISTORY THAT MAKES WORKING IN #AMBODIA DIFFERENT THAN ANYWHERE ELSE IN THE WORLD 4HE LACK OF CIVIL SOCIETY IN #AMBODIATHE LACK OF TRUSTCOMES DIRECTLY FROM SOCIOPSYCHOLOGICAL TRAUMA THAT HASNT YET BEEN DEALT WITH #ONFRONTING AND ULTIMATELY RECONCILING WITH THOSE ISSUES IS MESSY AND COMPLICATED 7!# IS ALREADY HELPING FACILITATE THIS PROCESS WHATEVER YOU CALL IT 4HEIR ENCOURAGEMENT OF hCONSCIOUSNESS RAISINGv AMONGST EVERYONE FROM GARMENT WORKERS TO !)$3 SURVIVORS COMES DIRECTLY OUT OF SECOND WAVE FEMINISM JUST LIKE 2OSANNA 4HAT STYLE OF DIALOGUE IS THE CENTRAL ELEMENT OF RECONCILIATION 7ITH ACTIVISTS LIKE 0HOUNG ALREADY INTERESTED IN SHARING THEIR STORIES 7!# IS IN A POSITION TO BECOME SELF CONSCIOUSLY AWARE OF THE ROLE IT ALREADY PLAYS AS AN AGENT OF RECONCILIATION AND APPLY THAT ROLE TO ISSUES SURROUNDING THE +HMER 2OUGE /NE MIGHT ARGUE THAT THE ROLE OF THE 7OMYNS !GENDA FOR #HANGE IS IN THE GRASSROOTS EMPOWERMENT OF +HMER WOMEN AND THAT THEY SHOULD FOCUS NARROWLY ON THOSE ISSUES LET ANOTHER GROUP SPECIALIZE IN RECONCILIATORY HEALING 5NFORTUNATELY hANOTHER GROUPv DOESNT EXIST !ND UNLESS SOMEONE DOES IT IT SEEMS #AMBODIANS WILL NEVER HAVE THE FOUNDATION FROM WHICH TO CULTIVATE AUTONOMOUS DEVELOPMENT OF ANY KIND LET ALONE SOCIAL REVOLUTION !CTIVISM IS BEING GLOBALIZED NOW TOO 3OCIAL MOVEMENTS AROUND THE WORLD ARE COMMUNICATING STRUGGLES AND SHARING IDEAS !S ACTIVISTS FROM THE NORTH SLOWLY BEGIN TO UNDERSTAND THEIR ROLE AS hPRIVILEGED RADICALSv STRONG LINKS OF TRUST ARE BEING DEVELOPED THAT TRANSCEND THE DIVISIONS IMPOSED ON US BY OUR HISTORIES OF CONQUEST AND DOMINATION 0ERHAPS THIS IS THE REAL KIND OF GLOBAL @RECONCILIATION WE NEED /NCE !MERICANS AND %UROPEANS DROP THE PRETENSE OF BEING THE SAVIORS OF POOR OPPRESSED PEOPLE WE CAN REALLY WORK ON CREATING A NEW WORLD ) DONT KNOW WHERE MY PASSION WILL TAKE ME IN THE FUTURE ) DO KNOW THAT CHANGE MUST HAPPEN GLOBALLY 7E ARE EMBARKING ON AN UNPRECEDENTED STAGE IN WORLD HISTORY 4HIS LEVEL OF CROSSCULTURAL COMMUNICATION AMONG MOVEMENTS HAS NEVER HAPPENED BEFORE 7ERE APPROACHING A NEW CYCLE OF REVOLUTIONARY CONSCIOUSNESS ) CAN FEEL IT -AYBE THATS WHY WHEN THE 4ON ,E 3AP REVERSES THE PEOPLE IN 0HNOM 0ENH HAVE A BIG FESTIVAL )NTERNATIONAL #ENTER FOR %THICS *USTICE AND 0UBLIC ,IFE "IBLIOGRAPHY !LINSKY 3AUL 2ULES FOR 2ADICALS .EW 9ORK 2ANDOM (OUSE /KIN 3USAN )S -ULTICULTURALISM "AD &OR 7OMEN 0RINCETON 0RINCETON 5NIVERSITY 0RESS 0HOUNG 0RY 0HALLAY 0ERSONAL )NTERVIEW *UNE !SSEFA (IZKIAS h#OEXISTENCE AND 2ECONCILIATION IN THE .ORTHERN 2EGION OF 'HANAv 2ECONCILIATION *USTICE AND #OEXISTENCE 4HEORY AND 0RACTICE -ARYLAND ,EXINGTON 2AY .ICK #AMBODIA 3INGAPORE ,ONELY 0LANET #HOMSKY .OAM !T 7AR 7ITH !SIA /AKLAND !+ 0RESS 3HAYNE *ULIA h#ULTURE AND 2ESISTANCE ! &EMINIST !NALYSIS OF 2EVOLUTION AND @$EVELOPMENTv &EMINIST &UTURES 2EIMAGINING 7OMEN #ULTURE AND $EVELOPMENT .EW 9ORK :ED #OLES 2OBERT 4HE #ALL OF 3ERVICE .EW 9ORK (OUGHTON -IFmIN 3OENTHRITH 3AING h-ORE 3TREET 6IOLENCE IN 0HNOM 0ENHv 4HE #AMBODIA $AILY 6OLUME )SSUE *UNE #OLLINS 7ILLIAM 'RASSROOTS #IVIL 3OCIETY IN #AMBODIA 0HNOM 0ENH #ENTER FOR !DVANCED 3TUDY 3ONG 3ARAH -AJORITY .ORMS AND THE #ONmICT BETWEEN #ULTURAL 2IGHTS AND 7OMENS 2IGHTS 4OWARD A $EMOCRATIC !PPROACH -)4 $ARK 3TAR #OLLECTIVE 1UIET 2UMORS !N !NARCHA&EMINIST 2EADER 3AN &RANCISCO !+ 0RESS$ARK 3TAR 5NG ,OUNG &IRST 4HEY +ILLED -Y &ATHER ! $AUGHTER OF #AMBODIA 2EMEMBERS .EW 9ORK (ARPER #OLLINS 'ONATILAKE (EMA ,ECTURE *UNE 7OMYNS !GENDA FOR #HANGE $EBT 2ESEARCH 0OWER0OINT 0HNOM 0ENH 7!# ,AI -INGYAN h/F 2URAL -OTHERS 5RBAN 7HORES AND 7ORKING $AUGHTERS 7OMEN AND THE #RITIQUE OF .EOCOLONIAL $EVELOPMENT IN 4AIWANS .ATIVIST ,ITERATUREv &EMINIST &UTURES 2EIMAGINING 7OMEN #ULTURE AND $EVELOPMENT .EW 9ORK :ED -ILLADO #ES &ADING )NTO 3UNRISE &ADING )NTO -E A JOURNEY OF HEALING AND LIGHT 0HILIPPINES 0AGES -ILLADO #ES 0ERSONAL )NTERVIEW !UGUST .ATH 6AN ! #AMBODIAN 0RISON 0ORTRAIT /NE 9EAR IN THE +HMER 2OUGEgS 3 0HNOM 0ENH 7HITE ,OTUS .USSBAUM -ARTHA AND *ONATHAN 'LOVER 7OMEN #ULTURE AND $EVELOPMENT /XFORD #LARENDON 0RESS 4HE !RT OF #OEXISTENCE%THICS AND #OEXISTENCE 3TUDENT &ELLOWS 7OMYNS !GENDA FOR #HANGE 'ENDER AND .EOLIBERAL %CONOMIC 0OLICIES HTTPWWWWOMYNSAGENDAORG0ROGRAM /VERVIEWHTML 7OMYNS !GENDA FOR #HANGE 0OVERTY 2EDUCTION 3TRATEGIC 0APER 0230 2EDUCING 0OVERTY OR #REATING IT 0OWER0OINT 0HNOM 0ENH 7!# 7OMYNS !GENDA FOR #HANGE 2EAL ,IVES OF 0EOPLE 0OWER0OINT 0HNOM 0ENH 7!# 7OMYNS !GENDA FOR #HANGE 7HY $O ) #OME 4O "EG )N 0OWER0OINT 0HNOM 0ENH 7!#