AM
THE CRIMSON AND WHITE
Vol. X I X
FEBRUARY.
1923
No. 3
Published E v e r y T w o Months During the School Y e a r by the Students of
The Milne H i g h School
TERMS OF SUBSCRIPTION
One year ( 5 copies) payable in advance
$1.00
Single copies
.25
BOARD OF EDITORS
Editor-in-Chief
D 0 R 0 T H P : A A. G E O R G E .
Assistant
MARY
DOROTHY
ROBINSON,
MARION BARDEN,
Sigma
Quinn
M A R G A R E T MANN,
GEORGIANA
MAAR,
Editor
CRAIG.
M A R I O N N I C H O L S , Quinn
Quinn
Quinn
H E L E N M A N S I O N , Sigma
D E W I T T Z E H , Adelphoi
W E R N E R L I E B I C H , Adelphoi
G E O R G E O'CONNOR
M A R I A N O ' C O N N O R , Quinn
E L L S W O R T H B E E M A N , Theta Nu
H E L E N H A M B U R G E R . Sigma
ARNOLD LAVENTALL
Slgma
Sigma
School
Editor
Alumni
Editor
-Joke
Editors
Exchange
Editor
Assistant E x c h a n g e
Editor
.Business IManagers
-Advertising Agents
Students, we call your attention to tiie advertising contest t'oithe Crimson and W h i t e ; and we shall set forth a few arguments
telling you just why you ought to—no, must!—cooperate with the
Crimson and White board to make the contest a success. To do
this, Ave are going to discuss the financial status of the Crimson and
White quite freely with you, so that you may understand how important the ad contest is.
From the $5 student tax which you pay at the beginning of the
year, $1 goes to the Crimson and White. There are a few more than
two hundred pupils in Milne High. In the year's budget made out
by the Student Council, the amount of money given to the Crimson
and White is raised a little, and we are granted $300—$300 Avith
2
THE CRlMSUxX AND WHITE
which' to print five copies of the paper, with $50 e x t r a f o r the additional cost of the J u n e issue, which is a l w a y s the largest number
of the year. Of course, the money gained f r o m our advertising is
supposed to be one source of income, but the amount w e receive
fi om this source is f a r below w h a t it should be, as will be shown
a little f a r t h e r on.
Y o u may be u n f a m i l i a r with the cost of p r i n t i n g ; therefore y o u
may considei* this sum magnificent to d e f r a y the expenses of producing a small paper like ours. l>ut read the f o l l o w i n g d a t a :
The November, 1922, issue of the Crimson and W h i t e was a l a r g e
one, and everyone called it a success. B u t f o r the thirty-eight pages
it contained we paid a printing cost of $130, of Avliich less tlian $50
was defrayed by advertisements.
As it says at tlu^ beginning of eacli coj)y of the paper, the subsei'iption ])i'ice for the yeai* is $1.00, wliich makes each copy cost y o u
twenty cents. Tliis price compared witli the cost of that one issue
alone, $130, shows that each student of Milne High received foitwenty cents a volume which it cost f o r t y - f o u r cents' to print. If
our advertising w^as as it should be, such a thing as that might be
possible. But as affaii's stand, it c a n ' t be done without using uj)
the entire allotment in printing three copies.
W e foi'esaw tiiat Ave Avould have to cut down the size of the
I)apei' or else see the Crimson and W h i t e bank account dwindle to
nothing.
So the Decembei- issue was only thirty-two pages, of which
we had again less than five fvdl pages of ativertising.
complained of the reduced size of the pai)er.
And
people
E v e n so, it cost more
than one issue should have cost according to the y e a r ' s allotment.
Now there are three w a y s of securing enough money for the
(h'imson and W h i t e .
The first is to suit the size of the paper to the size of the allotment, Avithout relying at all upon advertisements. This Avould mean
tluit Ave Avould have to make each issue very snuill indeed; and Ave
Avould then have a tiny, insignificant school paper, not as good as
those of many small country high schools Avhich Ave receive as
exchanges.
The second proposition is that tiie student tax might be raised.
T h a t I'eally seems a f a i r suggestion, f o r you are noAv receiving more
value in the Ci'imson a n d W h i t e than you are p a y i n g for.
But, on
the other hand, you p r o b a b l y consider $ 5 as large a tax as y o u Avish
to pay,
and
certainly
it Avould be
foolish
to
adopt
this
method
ludess no bettei' Avay presented itself.
J
THE CRIMSON AiND WHITE
3
B u t there is a better way. That is to make the Crimson and
White at least partially self-supporting through the money gained
from advertisements. That is surely the most sensible way, and that
is wliat the advertising contest is for. It is to allow the students of
Milne High School to help save their paper from dwindling down
into nothing because of insufficient f u n d s ; so that by their service
in getting advertisements they nuiy repay the Crimson and White
for the value it is giving them. The advertising agents of the
Crimson and White board are hard workers; but they cannot do it
all without the cooperation of their schoolmates.
F o r there are handica])s in the work. Many firms, when a[)proached for advertisements, have been known to a s k : " What paper
is the Crimson and White? And where is Milne High School? Wo
have never heard of it, and we do not know that we get any custom
from i t ; so w h y should we advertise in its p a p e r ? "
Students, you should all take part in the ad contest because it
is the duty of all of you to make Milne High School so well known
that there can be no objection to advertising in tlie Crimson and
White, such as the argument in the last pai'agraph. Tt is your duty,
by mentioning the Crimson and White when you trade, to prove to
merchants that they do receive custom from Milne H i g h ; and that
therefor it is profitable for them to advertise in its paper. And,
above all, it is your duty to procure advertisements for the Crimson
and White, so that the board may be financially able to give you the
kind of school paper we want to,—the kind you will be proud of.
D. A. G.,'23.
There was a young lady from Guam
W h o said, " N o w the sea is so caum,
T will swim for a l a r k . "
But she met witli a s h a r k —
W e will now sing the 99th psaum.
2702 TPIE CRIMSON AND WHITE
SCHOOL NOTES
Tlio Q. T. S. A. scholarship dance, under the auspices of the
school societies, took place in the State College gym, Saturday night,
February tenth. The gymnasium was decorated in the school colors,
and everyone enjoyed the fine six-piece orchestra. There were sevei'al couples froTn outside, and many of the Milnites turned out to
lielp raise money foi- the scholarship. The dance was very pleasantly cluiperoned by Professor Sayles, Miss Cushing, and Miss Rice.
The long-prepai'ed for debate took place in chapel on February
sixteentli. The question w a s : Resolved, Tliat thei-e should be a
National Depai'tment of Education with a Secretary in tlu^ Pi-esid(>nt's cabinet. The affirmative side consisted of Florence Hudson,
Ceorgiana Maar, Dorothea George and DeWitt Zeh. Marian Bardene,
Ellsworth Beeman, Lillian Basovsky and Edwin Cramer upheld
the negative side of the question. All the speakers did very well,
ami the I'efutation on both sides was especially fine. The judges,
Miss Hengge, Di*. Thompson and Professor Sayles, decided in favor
of the negative.
There is soon to be a tryout to decide the parts for " N e i g h bors," which is to be given in the near future as the first venture of
Milne's Dramatic Club.
STUDENT COUNCIL
The last few meetings of the Student Council have been devoted
to the Q. T. S. A. dance which was held in the State College gym
on Febi'uary tenth. W e have also discussed plans for raising money
to complete the scholarship funl, as there is a slight deficit.
A new point system was also inaugurated in the girls' basketball team by the Council. Under the new plan, any girl to win a
point in the track meet, must have attended a certain number of
basketball practices, the numbei' is to be determined by Miss Johnston. This plan is mostly to encourage basketball among the girls.
THE CRIMSON AiND WHITE
ALUMNI
5
NOTES
Ellswoi-tli Kii'tlaiid, foniier assistant editoi* of the Crimson and
White, is attending Albany High School.
Helen Van Ess, ex. '23, who is attending the Glens Falls High
School, was a guest in the city F e b r u a r y 12.
Dorothy Williams, '22, was recently awarded the Golden
Eaglet, the highest honor which can be obtained by a Girl Scorit.
She is the first Albany Girl who has received this honor.
Marion O'Connor, '22, is attending State College for Teachers.
Katherine Maar, '22, has completed the course at the Mildred
Elly lousiness School and noAV has a position in the State Education
Department.
Norma and Harry Jones are now at Albany High School.
Isabella liowe, of the class of '26, has left school.
Joseph Margolius, '21, is at the Albany Law School.
Many Milnites are now attending Albany Business CoUege.
Among the number ai'e: Edith Paine, ex-'24; Mildred Weldon,
ex-'24; Helen Frazer, ex-'23: Velma Risley, '22; Helen Smelzer,
ex-'23.
Howard l^reeze, '22, is now at Albany High School.
MY
HOUSE
A white house on a green hill.
Paid for all in one great bill.
T h a t ' s my house!
A house with long French windows, too.
And inside paper that's truly blue.
T h a t ' s my house!
A house where childi-en love to play,
And people come to all the day.
T h a t ' s my house!
M A R Y Y O U N G , '25.
2704 TPIE CRIMSON AND WHITE
THE
GRAND
PIANO
Vou may think it (iiieei' for me to be telling a story. But, if y o u
only knew liow to listen, I could tell you so m a n y ! This story is not
how 1 w a s made, for 1 confess 1 don't know much about t h a t ; and,
as eacli of m y many parts would luive to tell its own tale, it would
be long, and, 1 fear, tiresome. 1 will tell you, tliougli, that it would
be a story of cai'eful, ])atient, and loving labor.
l)Ut this story is of my soi'rows and joys. W h e n I was a very
new piano, I Avas sent to a hall Avhei'e a recital w a s to be given. 1
Avas very excited, for 1 did not know what a recital w a s ; but 1 soon
found out. F i r s t came some little children to play on nu^, and 1 w a s
happy to be able to help them intei'pret theii- simple j)ieces. Then
came some older girls and boys. Some of them did well, and I w a s
proud to be theii* medium of interpi'etation. Sonu', though, w e i ' e —
well, 1 w o n ' t say what 1 think, but I know 1 suffered horribly. But,
on the whole, 1 rathei- enjoyed the recital.
The next thing for which I was engaged was a concert. There
were several artists; aiul, of conrse, they had an accompanist. There
was also a pianist who g a v e two or three solos. The accompaniments w e n t finely; but the solos w e r e — w e l l , that apology for a
pianist w r a c k e d my wires until my nei'ves were all unstrung,
was a program of Beethoven, Bach and Chopin. Oi-dinarily 1 am
The n e x t concei't I gave (cei'tainly, it w a s I w h o really g a v e it)
very fond of this music, but when the pianist k n o w s little abont
playing and less al)out the intei'pretation of w h a t he is i)laying, the
agony f o r the poor piano is a w f u l .
For t w o or three years my life went on ((uietly enough. I w a s
played ni)on in concei'ts and I'ecitals, and 1 had my full share of
pain and of joy.
A
THE CRIMSON AiND WHITE
7
Then, one night, the master came. I knew that he was coming,
but I had not guessed his greatness. A man had come into the
store which was my home, and had said: " A great pianist is coming,
and we want him to use this piano." I was pleasurably excited and
gratified to be chosen; but little did I dream of the joy which was to
be mine.
The night of the concert came, and 1 was on the stage, listening
to the buzz and hum of the people. Suddenly it stopped, and the
audience began to clap. I knew he must be there. He sat down on
the bencli, ran an arpeggio up my keys and was ready to begin".
My heart (I really have one) almost stopped beating, for I knew he
was the master. That night 1 was supremely happy. He played
P>eethoven and Bach, and people sobbed; he played " S c e n e s from
Childhood," and the audience laughed with him. Fountains rippled,
birds trilled, children played, and an organ echoed in a great cathedral. Had Beethoven, Bach or Liszt played that night, 1 should not
liave been more happy.
Then it was over. Tlie audience left, tlu' hall was darkened,
and I was alone. The next day 1 was taken back to my home in
the store. That was but a few short weeks ago. I haven't been used
since. But the i-emembrance of the music he gave me from his great,
deep soul will always remain in my strings, and my heart will never
cease to thrill at the name of tlie Master Pianist—Harold Bauei*.
M A R I A N C O N K L I N , '25.
THE TWINS' VISIT TO THE COUNTRY
The twins, Betty and Bobby Clark, were delighted over the fact
tliat they were going to tlu' country to visit their uncle and aunt.
They hustled about imi)oi'tantly as they got their belongings together, for this was to be their first visit to the country; one would
have thought, to see the preparations they were making, that tliey
were about to cross the ocean.
When the twins arrived at the farm, they were much excited
over the new wonders they saw there. They wandered about in the
barns with the air of explorers in a strange foreign country; and,
pleased with the novelty of the thing, they gladly helped their uncle
with small tasks which any true country b o y or girl Avould have disgustedly termed " o r ' n e r y chores."
8
THE CRlMSUxX AND WHITE
A n d one day a real adveiituro befell them. A b o u t tweuty-five
f e e t f r o m the back of the house w a s a large cistern, in which the
w a t e r w a s about twelve feet deep. The cistern had around it a
wooden curb, with a boai'd on toj) of the curb. One afternoon B e t t y
and B i l l y decided to examine this strange and rather alarming
hole in the ground, which hitherto they had been slightly a f r a i d of.
T h e y approach it cautiously.
Billy, being more timid thon his
sister, did not venture v e i y near. B e t t y , however, climbed up on
the curb and stood on tlu' board above it.
Billy, quite overwhelmed by his sistei-'s b r a v e r y , cried to h e r :
" T h y u m p , Betty, t h y u m p ! "
Betty, willing to lose no opportunity of a w i n g her y o u n g e r
brother, began to j u m p up and down on the board. A t first, a little
uneasy, she did not jumj) very hard. But when Billy said: " T h y u m p
h a r d e r ! " she did so.
S u d d e n l y thei'e was a crack, a ci-ash, and a scream. The cistern
was quite old, and under B e t t y ' s weight the board had gone down.
When Billy f e a r f u l l y peered over the curb, he beheld his sister, a
thoi^oughly surprised and frightened y o u n g lady, sitting quite comf o r t a b l y on top of the board, wliich was tioating in the water, a small
but s t u r d y craft.
The grown-ups were soon summOiuHl by the children's cries.
Ml'. C l a r k put a long ladder inside the cistern, climbed down, and
rescued Betty from her boat. (Isn't tiiat unromantic I A mai'iner
a d r i f t rescued by means of a ladder!)
Wlien the excitement w a s ovei*, and Betty w a s safe on d r y
land, she began to boast of her " t h i i ) w ' e c k . " A n d certainly T think
she had the unique distinction of being the only person ever shipwrecked in a cistern.
B E R T H A T.. P O S T , '25.
WHO?
Hiss
Sh
Here he comes!
Enter a tall, dark person. He seems to have some (?) influence
over these noisy people, f o r they ai'e unusually (|uiet, considering
the noise in S t u d y H a l l previous to his entrance. A f t e r a few moments conversation with a cei'tain y o u n g gentleman who has been
e x p e n d i n g much effort in t r y i n g to convince us all that he is the
THE CRIMSON AiND WHITE
L i f e of the P a r t y , he l e a v e s — a l s o t h e y o u n g gentleman.
9
They will
continue their little c h a t in his abiding place, w h e r e most of us mischievous children h a v e stood, at one time or another, discussing the
topics of the d a y ; or of t h e school d a y , I should say.
H e is master of a l l ; b u t oh ! w h a t a master.
stood us better.
there?
Yes!
No one ever under-
H o w o f t e n w e t u r n to him f o r h e l p ; and is he
W e c e r t a i n l y a p p r e c i a t e this, e x c e p t at times w h e n he
u n d e r s t a n d s us a little too w e l l and reads our t h o u g h t s more t h a n
w e w o u l d wish hi m to.
W i s e l y he rules his k i n g d o m ; and he is respected and admired
b y all M i l n e H i g h .
HELEN HAMBURGER,
'25.
ASPIRATIONS
I wish I w a s the principal,
A - s i t t i n ' in his chair,
Oi- j u s t a - t a l k i n ' , w a l k i n ' round
1 wish that T w a s there.
I Avish I w a s a critic
W a l k i n ' up and d o w n the stair,
A - n o t i c i n ' each t h i n g y o u do.
I wish t h a t I w a s there.
I w i s h I w a s a teacher,
W i t h n o t h i n ' else to do
But
just
to
make
exams
so
hard
Y o u n e v e r could g e t t h r u ' .
But a f t e r all m y w i s h i n '
I t h i n k t h e y w o r k hard, t o o ;
l^erhaps I ' m l u c k i e r as I am,
A Milne H i g h k i d like you.
FLORENCE GEORGE,
'25.
10
THE CRlMSUxX AND WHITE
COMPANY MANNERS REQUIRED HERE
She was not pretty. She was not particularly bi'ight. She did
not wear better clothes than the other girls did, nor did she have
more money to spend than they. And yet there was not another girl
whom Jane knew who was better liked than her chum, Marian
Steele. Her classmates, her teachers, and even all tlie girls' rnothei's
\vere always saying nice things about her.
" W h y ? " Jane asked lierself almost every day. Finally she decided to ask Marian herself the cause of her popularity.
" 1 did not know everyone was so fond of m e , " returned Marian,
laiighing at her friend's outburst, " B u t if there is anything that
nuikes me different from other girls it must bo due to the signs that
mother luid in every room of our home."
" S i g n s ? " (juestioned Jane, i)erplexed.
" Y e s , just common, cardboai'd signs; and they all said exactly
the same thing: Company Manners Required H e r e . "
" W l i y , how f u n n y ! " Jane felt it was now her turn to laugh.
Surely their conversation had strayed far from the caiise of Marian's[)oi)ularity.
I)ut it was now Marian wlio Avas all earnestness. " T h e r e wei'c
so many of us children, nine in a l l , " she explained, " t h a t , like most
brothei's and sisters, we were always carrying on a good deal of
Fussing and squabbling with one another. Tliat is, until mother put
11]) the signs. This was her reason:
" Y o u see, when company came to the house we did not fight
witli tliem for tlie best seats; we did not demand the choicest food
at tlie table; and we did not say unkind things to them. We put
on what mother called our 'company uuinnei's.'
We made our
guests feel, as we Avanted them to, that we were well-behaved, wellmannered cliildren. But when they were scarcely out of sight we
would discard these company manners and beliave in a manner fai'
loss angelic, but more natural to us, T am soi'ry to say.
" ' W h y , ' mother asked us, 'do you treat the ones you love best
ill the woi'ld—your own family—with less kindness, consideration,
and courtesy than the strangers who come here once in a while and
whom you may never see again?'
" W e didn't know, because we had never thought of it in that
way. So mother instituted a new rule. W e were to treat each member of the family as wo would a guest, and there wore to be signs to
liolp remind us. It all seemed silly at first, but it wasn't long before
THE CRIMSON AiND WHITE
11
tlie hoiiie atuiospliere changed. Ai'tei- a wliilo neighbors and friends
were remarking how well we children got along t o g e t h e r . "
" B u t that was the w a y your mother brought you u p ; and, while
T agree that it was a good way, wliat lias it to do witli your popularity n o w ? " asked Jane, puzzled.
" W h y , don't you see how such training would act as an influence upon me? If people like me, it must be because I have elimiTiated criticism, unkind thoughts, envy, jealousy, and spitefulness,
not only from my manner, but also from my very thoughts. Others
unconsciously feel this; foi- nuiny unkind thoughts that are never
spoken are felt as much as though they had been cried aloud. That
T have been able to do this is due entirely to mother's signs. 1 liave
formed the habit of wearing 'Company M a n n e r s ' . "
" O h , I see it n o w ! " exclaimed Jane. "Tf we could have such
signs everywhere in the trolleys, the parks, the stations, the stores,
for the grown-ups as well as for the cliildren—what a fine world it
would b e ! "
A M E L I A C A R R , '25.
Adam
stood and watclied
liis wife
F a l l from an a]>ple tree.
" A h ha ! at last I ' v e found her out!
Eavesdro])ping," muttered he.
" A t length he I'ested, having made an e n d . " — T h e Aeneid.
Aeneas was a l u c k y guy.
He rested when lie'd made an end.
Of good ideas we're always shy.
Aeneas w^as a lucky guy.
He
finished—we
must write for a y e ;
Nor time to rest, nor time to mend.
Aeneas was a lucky guy.
He I'ested when he'd made an end.
The Crimson & Wliite Staff's W a i l
12
THE CRlMSUxX AND WHITE
ZETA SIGMA LITERARY SOCIETY
The most interesting undertaking which Sigma has carried out
since the time of the last Crimson and White issue was the party for
Pfeshmen girls, which took place a little after Christmas. The Sigma
girls prided themselves that the party was just a little different from
anything ever before done by the society. To begin with it was a
Backwards Party, which of course made it necessary for both hostesses and guests to wear their dresses backwards and to walk
backward.
Then, some bright Sigma member remembered that " A l i c e
Through the Looking-Glass" is altogether a " b a c k w a r d " story. So,
acting upon this idea, the invitations for the party were painstakingly written in "looking glass language"—tliat is, backward, so tliat
they could be read by holding them up to a mirror. A program of
scenes from " A l i c e Through the Looking-Glass" was also arranged.
T h e first stunt on the program was an animal cracker hunt.
Of
course this Avas more difficult than such things usually ai'e because
the w a r y hunters had to pi'oceed backAvai'd aftei- theii- prey.
there w e r e
some
backward
stunts
to
be
done,
with
Tlien
appi'opriate
prizes suggesting " T h r o u g h the L o o k i n g - G l a s s . "
The crowning feature of the pi'ogram was-the set of scenes
fi'om "Through the Looking-Glass."
(The crowning feature, of
course, if one excepts the pink ice-cream cones, popcorn balls, and
lollypops which were served at the close of the afternoon). The
scenes taken were "Tweedledum and Tweedledee," (played by
Midge Rappe and Gladys Rowe), " T h e Jabberwocky," (in which
the characters were Frances Smith and Gertrude Hall), and " T h e
Walrus and the Carpenter," (Liz Friend and Dot George).
Recently the following officers wei-e elected for the new term:
President, Doi'othea George.
Vice-President, Frances Smith.
Secretary, Margaret Rappe.
Treasurer, Elizabeth Friend.
Critic, Dorothy Robinson.
Mistress of Ceremonies, Mai'y Glynn.
Pianist, Caroline Gibson.
i
]
^^
THE CRIMSON AiND WHITE
I
13
Marshal, Gertrude Hall.
The eligible Freshmen have just been elected to membership,
and initiations will soon take place.
D. A . G., '23.
QUINTILIAN LITERARY SOCIETY
Quin meetings have certainly been interesting this year. On
the Wednesday before Christmas Vacation the annual meeting for
Freshmen, Alumni, and the Faculty was held. The meeting was
called to order and the roll called. A f t e r that we Quin girls entertained our guests with a skit, some musical selections, a Christmas
song, a selection by Miriam Snow, the story of Tiny Tim by Doris
(Uark, the story of Santa (Jlaiis by Virginia Coleman. Then Santa's
daughter, Mary Christmas, brought us presents from her father.
A t the election of officers the following were put in command
cf the army of Quintilian for the rest of the y e a r : President, Florence Hudson; Vice-President, Marion Nichols; Recording Secretary,
Alice Cleveland; Corresponding Secretary, Barbara Baker; Treasurer, Alice Secor; Mistress of Ceremonies, Persis Lenox; Marshal,
Mary Y o u n g ; Critic, Agnes Glenn.
Now we are looking forwai'd with fiendish delight to the initiation of Freshmen.
F. M. H.
\
One day I thought 1 'd write a i)ome
* *
A pretty pome —
Y o u know, the kind that tlie college comics pi'int.
So I bought some paper —
And some beautiful ink
And an eraser
And then I had to give it up
'Cause I didn't know what to Avi'ite about.
THE CRlMSUxX A N D WHITE
14
M i l n e ' s b a s k e t ball schedule, w h i c h is now d r a w i n g to a close,
lias resulted in some fine victories. Besides t a k i n g t w o games f r o m
the C a t h e d r a l A c a d e m y , our team has d e f e a t e d St. J o s e p h ' s A c a d emy, Beacon H i g h School and the A l b a n y B o y s ' A c a d e m y .
Tlie squad is confident of v i c t o r y in the coming games with
Beacon and Cobleskill, both of which h a v e gone d o w n in d e f e a t
before M i l n e ' s team.
O u r boys cei'tainly e n j o y e d themselves on the F^eacon ti-ip. W e
hope t h a t Milne w i l l be able to m a k e Beacon H i g h feel as much at
home w h e n t h e y visit us f o r the r e t u r n game.
L. U., '24.
FAMOUS SAYINGS OF FAMOUS PEOPLE
Prof. S a y l e s — " C e r t a i n l y
y o u m a y have an excuse f o r Home-
work."
Miss J o h n s o n — " T h i s class lias the best vocabulai'y of any L a t i n
class I ' v e ever h a d . "
S t e r l i n g F e r g u s o n — " I h a v e n ' t any jie]) t o d a y . "
D o t G e o r g e — " I hate m e n ! "
D e W i t t Z e h — " I ' v e no w o r k to do f o r the 'Ci'imson and W h i t e '
today."
Mai'ian B a r d e n e — " I d o n ' t w a n t to have a date t o n i g h t . "
A r t M i l l i m a n — " I have no use f o r w o m e n . "
F r a n c e s S t o r r s — " 1 prefei- qviiet m e n . "
Liz F r i e n d — " I ' m g o i n g to m o d u l a t e my v o i c e . "
L a r r y U l r i c h — " I d o n ' t like o y s t e r friesi at a l l . "
Lois M c N e i l l i e — " 1
c o u l d n ' t think of a c c e p t i n g any
of
lunch."
" J u n i o r " M c K e o n — " I ' m not a bit sleepy this m o r n i n g . "
your
THE CRIMISON AND WHITE
15
AROUND THE WORLD IN EIGHT JUMPS
Entries
Pilot
Mechanic
X-Ray
Owen Holmes
Philip Brougliton
Cue
William F. Gould
Gordon Jamison
Item
Herbert Singer
Vedder Rector
Panorama
Richard Schneider
Raymond Yetter
I/al Bagh Chronicle
Regina Thumboo
Ethel Jacob
Red & Black
Stanley Neville
Fi-ank Cowan, -Ji-.
Student's Pen
Edward Hickey
Kathryn Volin
High School Recorder
Vivian Jacobson
Stanley Ei'icson
Start—1 P. M., Monday—Roosevelt Field, Albany.
First H o p : —
New York (Editorials)
Panorama arrives first at 2.15 P. M., Monday—vei-y good time
made.
Cue arrives second at 2.20 P. M., Monday.
Red & Black an-ives thirtl at 2.22 P. M.
Item arrives fourth 2.27 P. M.
High School Recorder arrives fifth at 2.80 P. M., closely followed by X-Ray.
Student's Pen found missing as well as Lai Bag-h Chronicle.
Second H o p : —
'
Paris (Cuts)
Cue arrives first on Friday, at 1.00 A. M., excellent time made
when crossing the ocean.
16
THE CRlMSUxX AND WHITE
Panorama arrives second on F r i d a y , at 1.15 A . M . — l o s t a little
time w h e n crossing the ocean.
Student's Pen arrives third on F r i d a y , at 1.20 A . M., made u p
the time lost between A l b a n y and New Y o r k .
Item arrives t'oui'tli on P'l-iday, at 1.22 A. M . — d i d not gain mnch
time.
-^
Hig-h School Recorder arrives fifth on F r i d a y , at 2.30 A . M.
Red & Black arrives sixth on F r i d a y , at 3.00 A. M . — l o s t a lot
of time crossing the ocean.
X-Ray arrives seventh on F r i d a y , at 3.30 A. M.—lost some time.
Lai Bagh Chronicle reported still missing.
ThirdHop:—
Rome ( L i t e r a t u r e )
Student's Pen an-ives first on S a t u r d a y , at 1. A. M . — m a d e excellent time a f t e r leaving Paris.
Lai Bagh Chronicle arrives second on S a t u r d a y , at 1.30 A. J\l.—
excellent time.
High School Recorder an-ives third on S a t u r d a y , at 1.32 A. M .
— g a i n e d time.
Cue lost time a f t e r leaving Paris and is now fourth.
Panorama also lost time and is now fifth.
Item arrived at 2.00 A. M . — a f t e i ' los'ng some t'lu".
Red & Black arrived at 2.30 A. M.
X-Ray conu's in last at 2.45 A . M.
Fourth H o p : —
Caii'o ( A t h l e t i c s )
G r e a t crowds cheered the fii-st macliine to land at Cairo.
Red & B l a c k an-ives at 11.00 P. M., S a t u r d a y .
X-Ray comes in only a little time a f t e r tiie first {)lane, closely
f o l l o w e d by Pan,orama.
Cue arrives at 12.00 P. M.
Student's Pen conu's in at 12.15, on Sunday morning, closely
f o l l o w e d by High School Recorder and Item.
Lai Bagh Chronicle comes in last.
Kifth H o p
Sydney
(Exchanges)
Great excitement in S y d n e y . T w o planes arrive together on
Wednesday, at 12.30 P. M.
Item, X - R a y — m a d e good time a f t e r leaving Cairo. ^
THE CRIMSON AiND WHITE
17
High School Recorder comes in third at 1.00 P. M.
Panorama is close behind the Recorder.
Student's Pen which arrived at 1.30.
Cue ai-rived at 2.00—lost time aftoi* leaving Cairo.
Red & Black, Lai Bagh Chronicle are rei)oi'ted missing.
Sixth H o p : —
Honolulu (Jokes)
Panorama is in first on T h u r s d a y , at 9 P. M.
Student's Pen is reported to have arrived second on T h u r s d a y .
Item has lost some time since S y d n e y .
Cue has a r r i v e d — g a i n e d much time.
Recorder, Red & Black, X-Ray arrived about the same time.
Lai Bagh Chronicle is again missing.
Seventh H o p : —
Kansas C i t y
(Advertisements)
Great crowds clieered the Item wliich ai-rived before expected,
on Satui'day, at 2.05 P. M.
Panorama is i-eported to have ai-rived at 2.30, tlu' second nuichine to have come.
Cue arrives third about 2.45.
Recorder arrived close behind the Cue, with the Red & Black
in close pursuit.
Student's Pen comes in seventh followed l)y X-Ray.
Lai Bagh Chronicle again missing.
Eighth H o p : —
A l b a n y — E n d of Journey.
Great throngs greet tlu' winning plane!
Panorama arrived here about 3.00 P. M., S u n d a y — w i n n i n g the
race.
The next machine i-eported w a s tiie Cue, wliich arrived at 3.06
P. M., closely followed by the Item which arrived at 3.07.
The fourth plane to ari'ive home w a s the Student's Pen
which came at 3.11 with the High School Recorder binding
at 3.12 P. M. The sixth ]ilane to land w a s the Red & Black
which arrived at 3.16.
The X-Ray landed at Roosevelt
Field at 3.19 and tlu' Lai Bagh Chronicle, so often i-eportcMl
missing, arrived rather late at 3.25.
18
TllK CRIIMSON AND WHITE
F a t l u ' i ' — " D o you know whove little boys who smoke go?'
S o n — ' ' D o w n behind the s h e d . "
The gii'lie saw without dismay
H e r w a t e r w i n g s float f a r a w a y .
She simply smiled and said w i t h poise,
" O i l , well, you know buoys w i l l be buoys.
o
L. IT., ' 2 4 — " G o s i i , l)nt I'd iuite to be a fish!^'
Mae
—-Why?"
Larry
—^"l>eeaiise tiien I'd liave to live in seiiools all m y
life."
o
N. L., ' 2 6 — " What do you think of S c o t t ' s ' I v a n h o e ' ? "
J. S., ' 2 6 — " 1 like his Emulsion b e t t e r . "
o
" W h o is that terrible looking w o m a n ? "
" T h a t ' s my s i s t e r . "
" O h , t h a t ' s all I'ight; you ought to see n n n e . "
o
H o s t e s s — " I t looks like a stonn. 1 think you had bettei- stay
for d i n n e r . "
H. B., ' 2 5 — " O h , thanks, but 1 don't think i t ' s bad enough f o r
that."
o
S. F., ' 2 4 — " W e ' r e going to hit eighty in a miniite! A r e yon
afraid?"
1). (I., '23 (swallowing much d u s t ) — " N o indeed, I ' m full of
grit."
THE CRIMSON AiND WHITE
W. V. A., ' 2 4 — " T h a t scar on y o u r head must
annoying.''
L. McN., ' 2 4 — " O h , it's next to n o t h i n g . "
19
be
very
0
Did you Icnow that Vic Trola was put in Sing Sing f o r having
a bad record?
0
" T l i a t painted and powdered girl over there flunked
thing."
" B u t she'll pass her make-up exams all r i g h t . "
every-
0
" W h e n Greek meets Greek, what h a p p e n s ? "
" T h e y start a fruit s t o r e . "
I
I
I
1
I
'
\
i
I
f
I
f
I
!
i
I
I
I
Mistress—"I saw the milkman kis^ you this morning.
future I will take the milk myself."
In the
•
_
^
o
When a fellow is allowed to muss a girl's hair, he considers it a
net gain. She considei's it a net loss.
0
A. H., ' 2 3 — " I wonder what kind of chickens they had in the
Stone A g e ? "
L i z — " P l y m o u t h Rocks, I suppose."
•
_0
" S u r e , and Mike was killed by appendicitis."
" I might have known it was one of them treacherous G r e e k s . "
0
Miss T e n n e y — " A n d the price of nitrates is now very h i g h . "
A. L., ' 2 3 — " W h a t do we care? W e never t e l e g r a p h . "
0
G . — " F o r the past three months my wife has refused to make
any coffee. Is that grounds for d i v o r c e ? "
A . — " N o , where tliei'e is no coffee, there can be no g r o u n d s . "
o
Each flea believes that he lives on the most wonderful dog in
Ihe world. That's patriotism.
o
Mary had a little lamb.
Y o u ' v e heard this tale b e f o r e —
But have you heard she passed her plate
And had a little more?
20
THE CRlMSUxX AND WHITE
R. J., ' 2 3 — " I wonder how many men will be made unhappy
when 1 m a r r y . "
E. C., " 2 3 — " T h a t depends. How many do you expect to
uiarry ?''
0
B a r b e r — " I can't shave you, sir, unless you hold up your h e a d . "
E. B., '23 (who is very s l e e p y ) — " A l l right, give me a haircut,
then."
0
F. S., ' 2 4 — " T h a t novel in ' S n a p p y S t o r i e s " is rather m u s h y . "
A. M., ' 2 3 — " T h a t ' s w h y it's in serial f o r m . "
0
E. L., ' 2 4 — " A r e the pictures in the rogues' gallery f r a m e d ? "
M. R., ' 2 4 — " Y e s , in g u i l t . "
0 —
" J a c k is an atheist."
"Ts that a good f r a t e r n i t y ? "
0
—
A. F., ' 2 3 — " What's wrong with this car? It squeaks dreadi'ully."
I). C., ' 2 3 — " ( ' a n ' t be lielped; there's pig iron in tlie a x l e s . "
0
It is good to be merry and wise,
It is good to be fearless and bold,
It is good to be on with the new love
Before you are off witli the old.
_U
" I n c o m e T a x , " grumbled the carpet as father got busy with his
little hammer.
0
li. L., ' 2 4 — " I wonder why poor Jim jumped in the r i v e r ? "
Hammie, ' 2 5 — " I think there was a woman at the bottom of i t . "
o
Mrs. C . — " D o n ' t you stay in the room when your daughter has
company any m o r e ? "
Mrs. D . — " N o , 1 a m ' t r y i n g the honor s y s t e m . "
o
l i e — " A r e n ' t his fingers unusually agile for a piano-player?"
S h e — " W e l l , you see, he used to be a cheei* leader at a deaf and
dumb institute."
THE CRIMSON AiND WHITE
21
M o t h e r — " H o r r o r s ! While sister was sleeping the baby licked
all the paint off
"
F a t h e r — " W h a t , off the c h a i r ? "
M o t h e r — " N o , off sister."
0
Mary had a little lamb.
She took it everywhere,
But now the cold keeps it at home,
Cause Mary bobbed its hair.
0
I
»
•i
;
I
P o l i c e m a n — " H e y ! Make your car stop c o u g h i n g . "
Mac, ' 2 4 — " 1 can't help it. It hasn't got its muffler o n . "
0
" D o you know anytliing about Marco P o l o ? "
" N o , is it anytliing like clock g o l f ? "
0
A r t Milliman (after an hour's s e s s i o n ) — " H e l l o , hello, central.
Can't I get a better l i n e ? "
Central (who has overheard most of i t ) — " S a y , 1 don't see
anytliing wrong with the one you h a v e . "
0—
In class 'tis ever the self-same tale.
In e v ' r y line of endeavoi',
The students come and they go to sleep.
But the prof, goes on forever.
0
—
H e — " S o r r y 1 couldn't keep my a]){)ointment with you yester(hiy, 1 had an-er-class."
S h e — " Y e s , 1 saw her; some c l a s s ! "
0
Miss Betz ( h i s t o r y ) — " W h a t do you mean l)y saying that Heiiedict Arnold was a j a n i t o r ? "
G. M a a r — " T h e book says that {ifter his exile he spent the rest
of his life in abasement."
0
C l e r k — " T h i s book will'do half your w o r k . "
D. Z., ' 2 3 — " G i m m e two—(|uiek."
0
R. K., ' 2 3 — " H o w ' s the c i r c u s ? "
Davvy—"Beastly, beastly."
i
22
THE CRlMSUxX AND WHITE
Prof. S a y l e s — " W h a t are the names of the bones in your h a n d T '
?
—"Dice."
0
F r o s h — " D o e s history repeat i t s e l f ? "
Senior—'' Sure does if you flunk i t ! "
0
— " J a c k looks sort of sour t o d a y . "
— " Y e a h ; just came up on the milk t r a i n . "
0
D e n t i s t — " A w f u l l y sorry, sir, but 1 just tore out a piece of yo'ir
gum.''
E. C., ' 2 3 — " T h a t ' s all right. Just stick it under the chair and
1 '11 get it as I go o u t . "
0
Slie learnt the fox-trot, one-step, t o o —
And with the tango took a chance;
But, oh, she met her Waterloo
A t the St. Vitus dance!
o
J u d g e — " H o w is it that you liave no horn on your cai*?"
E. L)., ' 2 4 — " O h , I don't think it's necessary. I liave a little
round thing on the hood that says 'Dodge Brothers.' "
o
I). C., '23 (dining for flrst time at the Ten Eyck, pointing to
French w o r d ) — " I ' l l have some of that, please."
W a i t e r — " S o r r y , sir, but tlie orchestra is playing that n o w . "
o
An Irish friend of mine
Will little water drink;
He says he has a flannel mouth
And water makes him shrink.
o
Miss R i s e — " D o you know any of Shakespeare's q u o t a t i o n s ? "
G. A., ' 2 5 — " N o , T never knew he was a stock-broker."
0
Woman T o u r i s t — " S o this is A l a s k a ? "
Bored G u i d e — " N o m e . "
0
Miss J o h n s o n — " Y o u n g man, have you had any Socrates y e t ? "
S t u d e n t — " N o ma'am, but I've had Plato s o u p . "
THE CRIMSON AiND WHITE
23
' ' G e t off my f e e t . "
" I t ' s too much of a w a l k . "
0-
M. B., '23 ( c o y l y ) — " D e a r e s t , you have such affectionate e y e s . "
He (all t h r i l l e d ) — " D a r l i n g , do you really mean i t ? "
Marian ( b o r e d ) — " Y e s , they are always looking a t — e a c h
other."
i
j
T a i l o r — " T h a t coat is too short for y o u . "
R. C., ' 2 4 — " W e l l , it will be long before I get another o n e . "
i
I
I
I
^
Miss Betz ( h i s t o r y ) — " G i v e foi* one year, tlie number of tons of
coal shipped out of tlie United S t a t e s . "
1). R., ' 2 3 — " 1492—none."
;
0
I
i
E. 13., ' 2 3 — " W h a t would this nation be without w o m e n ? "
A. L., ' 2 3 — " A stagnation."
-0If you eat your lunch in cliapel, at least have tlu' courtesy to
crawl under the seats.
If you know a good joke, tell it to fifty of your most intimate
friends. If only forty-nine of them have heard it befoi'e, th(>u by
{dl means hand it to the Joke Editoi'. She wants new jokes.
0
Long skirts again have made the Senior girls hai)py. They can
now be distinguished from the Freshmen without undergoing an
intelligence test.
0
Masculine v o i c e — ' ' Please !''
Feminine v o i c e — " N o ! "
M. V . — " A w , come on—be a s p o r t ! "
F. v . — " I said N o ! "
M. V . — " A w , please; just this o n c e ! "
F. v . — " P o s i t i v e l y , N O ! "
M. V . — " A w , gee, mom, all the other fellers are gonna wear
longies, n ' 1 always have to look like a k i d ! "
0
S h e — " ! wonder why they put cornmeal on the floor when
they d a n c e ? "
H e — " A h , tliat's to make the chickens feel nt h o m e . "
A
New York State National Bank
ALBANY. N. Y .
Every Banking
Convenience
Your Account Solicited
John T. D. Blackburn
COAL
Arthur E. Craig
Rensselaer, N. Y.
Mason's Building Supplies
Crushed Stone
Groceries
Principal Office, 129 Water St.
Quality
and Provisions
Fresh Dressed Poultry
a Specialty
Telephones:
' Main 998
Main 999
G. WILEY & BRO.
Compliments
Dealers in
of
Fresh and Salt Meat
SENIOR CLASS
348 State St., Cor. Lark
Telephone 544-543
Provides Attractive Positions
Educates For Business Efficiency-
Albany Business College
Secretarial
Stenographic
Civil
Accounting
Service
Bookkeeping
Trains Ambitious Young Men and Women Quickly and Economically for Independence and Advancement in Executive
and Secretarial Positions
FOR CATALOG ADDRESS
Carnell & Holt
Albany, N. Y
I'lease mention " The Crimson and W h i t e "
Let a man have a good doctor, a good dentist and a good banker and he is likely
to live long—and to have something to live on as long as he lives
Present Interest Rate
41
Per Cent Per Annum
Assets over $21,000,000.00
CITY SAVINGS BANK
100 S t a t e St, A l b a n y , N. Y .
FRANK H. WILLIAMS
Treasurer
WILLIAM S. HACKETT
President
CONRAD HEYES
College
Barber
"C'VERSHARP
pencils
^
with
leads
to
suit
your needs are here in a
wonderful
variety
of
sizes and styles. W e re
pair t h e m , too.
8 2 Robin St.
<=7ffePEN CDRNEfZ
Albany, N. Y .
" C o . o p "
for
ESTABLISHED • I037 .
CDRNER~HUD5DN AVE.f^o SO.PEARL.
Supplies and Milne High
Banners
ALBANY H A R D W A R E & IRON CO.
Complete Sporting Equipment
BASEBALL
TENNIS
PENNANTS
GOLF
BANNERS
SWEATERS
UNIFORMS
PRIZE CUPS
3 9 - 4 3 State Street
I'leasemention " The Crimson and White"
Albany, N. Y .
PURE
ICE C R E A M
WHIPPED
SODAS
AND
CREAM
SERVED
HERE
Huyler's
HOT CHOCOLATE
B o x
CANDIES
H Q j
Candy
S C H O O L SUPPLIES
FUDGE
STATIONERY
HAIR
NETS
Ketchums & Snyder
297
Central A v e n u e
Phone W e s t
W o r l d W a r and other miniature Decorations
3959
Patent Flexible Military Service Ribbon Bars
DIEGES 8c CLUST
15 John St.. N e w Y o r k City
M A N U F A C T U R I N G
SPECIALTY
JEWELERS
Class, Fraternity, Club and Society Pins, Rings, Keys, Medals, Prize and Loving Cups; Plaques
and Trophies, etc. Lodge Jewels, Charms, Emblems, Buttons, etc.
Made to order aud carried in ilock.
W e Invite Correspondence Pertaining to Special Order W o r k
Ben V. Smith
EYE
GLASSES
OPTEMETRIST
OPTICIAN
5 0 N o , Pearl Street
Albany
3 5 6 Broadway
4 5 4 State Street
Troy
Schenectady
Pine Hills Pharmacy
Compliments of
"The
Family
Store
1 1 6 Madison A v e .
Zeta Sigma
"
Corner
Phone W e s t 1 5 6
M. W . Briggs and M . T . S t o n e
Props.
Albang
C O M M E R C I A L
5 V A N T R O M P ST.
Please
mention
©nmpang
PRINTING
^ ^
" Tlie Crimson
D E P A R T M E N T
PHONE, MAIN 260
and
Wliite "
Allen
Compliments of
ADELPHOI
ALBANY ART UNION
" Distinictive
Photography
"
Special School Rates for Individual Pictures of the Class
or in Group Pictures
W E G U A R A N T E E T H E BEST SERVICE, T H E FINEST Q U A L I T Y
AND PROMPT ATTENTION
Telephone Main 991
E. A. B E A U M O N T CO
" T h e Stetson Shoe"
FOR IMEN AND WOMEN
HOSIERY
Mildred Elley School
The Model School
Shorthand
Typewriting
Letter Writing
Send for Circular
71 State Street
ALBANY
Spelling
N. Y.
245 Quail St.
Phone West 1694
Albany, N. Y.
Compliments of
Quintiltian Literary Society
I'leasemention " The Crimson and A\Tiite"
THOMAS J. HURLEY EST.
2 2 G r e e n St., A l b a n y
Outfitters for all Outdoor and Indoor Sports
and Pastims
SPRING
John T. Johnson
Silks and Novelty Woolens at
Lowest Cash Prices
TAILOR
3 5 Maiden Lane,
Albany
Imported
Stationery
PERKINS SILK SHOP
128 State Street
H. E. STAHLER
2 9 9 Central Ave.
L e a d i n g Confectionery and
Engraving
Ice C r e a m Parlor
Type Printing
Whipped served on all specials
No extra charge
271/2 Steuben St. Albany, N. Y.
State College Cafeteria
Gifts That Last
MARSTON & SEAMAN
SPECIAL LUNCHEON
35c
^mikvB
A L B A N Y , N. Y .
Cg
g
J
Near Eagle
Hours:
c
11:15 to 1:15
READY FOR
bteerel oays:
SPRING
In All Departments
YOUNG MEN'S CLOTHING
-
HATS
-
SHOES
-
HABERDASHERY
Ready in the Girl's Shop, too
STEEFEL
BROTHERS
STATE ST.
I'lease mention " The Crimson and W h i t e "
I-FJ
g,f ^^ 5
jS'il
'A J
? il-sfll if?
^ -
. . ^
H i t
n
f
m