Carrie Linn Pugh
Honors 499
•Asian Americans and Self - Identitu
Advisor: Dr. Nicole Grant
Sociology
December 1992
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My end product, my video, is something that indeed means a lot to me
and is a project that I am proud of. As stated in my video, the thesis was a
labour of love, for the issue is one in which I hold close to my heart as an AsianAmerican. I am glad that the Honors College provides opportunities such as
this, for students.
At the beginning of my semester, I knew that I wanted to do a project
that dealt with Asian-Americans, but I was unable to decide on which area to
focus. I then decided to do a project that would show the struggles that AsianAmericans face in reaching a positive self-identity, because I too struggled with
my identity. I began planning to do a paper, but throughout my struggle as an
activist I have realized that many people have a false perception of AsianAmericans as a whole as being the "Model Minority", a group without
problems. Thus, I decided to take on a more challenging project & create a
video. It was especially challenging because prior to this project, I had never
even ran a video-camera. Nonetheless, I felt that my issue was one that I
wanted others to learn about. I thought that the opportunity to see & hear how
we are affected by racism, negative media portrayals, stereotypes, and how
we were taught (or not taught at all) about our History in school would be
much more effective.
I recall while growing up wanting so much to have blonde-hair and "big,
blue, 'American' eyes", because everybody that I saw on T.V., in films, in
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magazines, and as "role-models" that were not evil, that were successful,
intelligent, and beautiful, possessed these physical characteristics. After all, to
be a model, you must be tall and have long legs. Furthermore, when my
school-classmates told me to , "Go back where I came from", called me
slant-eyes, fucking "com my'· , and even told me about how their relatives,
who had been in the Vietnam war hated me and all those other "Gooks·, I
further felt the need to be like them, to belong, and not to be single out or
blamed because I was Asian. Also, growing up in Indiana, I did not have very
many opportunities to refute what society and the media told me about
·Other Asians·, so until I returned to Korea I too believed some of those
stereotypes about OTHER Asian-Americans. I was reluctant and uncomfortable
with dating ASian-Americans, because I felt as if they were nerds and usually
unaHractive; after all that's what I grew up learning. None of my dolls were
ASian, none of the stories (positive ones, anyway) were about ASians, my
History text talked about the ·Sneaky Japanese: and their "inscrutability·, and
the movies and Television portrayed Asian women as mysterious, submissive,
erotic objects, and the men as kung-fu masters or computer nerds, and we
always said Aa-soo" or spoke broken English with a heavy accent. That's
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what influenced my identity while I grew up. Arriving at where I am today, a
very positive, strong, and proud Asian-American who conSistently challenges
and confronts racism and stereotypes directed towards people of color, was
not easy. However, I hope to make it easier for the younger generations of
Asian-Americans.
Although this video is not specifically about me, my story is told along with
other ASian-Americans. Furthermore, this video shows the great pride of being
Asian and the powerful struggles against injustice in which Asian-Americans
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constantly face. Today, we are lumped together into one group, we are
blamed such things as the trade imbalance (note that racists don't separate,
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they group us all together), we are used as an example to tell other people of
color that we have made it; after all we are THE model minority, and the list of
stereotypes, scapegoating, and discrimination continues.
Overall, although society does not adequately show our diversity or the
beauty in being Asian, I have tried to project that through my Honors project. I
hope that if an Asian individual sees my video that he or she will appreciate the
video within their own personal struggle, even if it makes them feel
uncomfortable; if a person of color sees it, I hope that they can see the
similarities in our fight against injustice; we are all in this together; and if an
individual of European descent sees it, I hope that this video will make he or
she realize all that they take for granted, simply because of their physical
characteristics, and will never again ask or wonder, "What's the big deal?",
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because he or she will now know.
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REFERENCES CITED
1. Chan, Sucheng: ASian-Amedeans. 1991.
2. Chin, Frank. Chan, Jeffery Paul. Inada, Lawson Fusao. Wong, Shawn.
AIIIEEEEE! Howard University Press, Washington D.C., 1991.
3. Chu, Louis H. Eat a Bowl of Tea. 1961.
4. Daniels, Roger. Asian America. University of Washington Press, Washington
D.C., 1988.
5. Hwang, David Henry. FOB and Other plays. Writers and Artists Agency
New York, New York, 1990.
6. Inada, Lawson Fusao. Before the War. William Morrow Company, Inc.
New York, New York, 1971.
7. Lee, Joann Faung Jean. Asian American Experiences in the United States.
McFarland and Co., Inc., North Carolina.
8. Keen, Sam. Faces of the Enemy. Harper and Row Publishers, Cambridge,
MA,l986.
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9. Moynihan, Daniel P. A Cartoon Historv of United states Foreign policy.
Foreign Policy ASSOCiation, New York, New York, 1975.
10. Mura, David. After We Lost Our Way. E.P. DuHon, New York, New York, 1989.
11. Sue, Stanley and Wagner, Nathaniel. Asian-Americans: A psychological
perspective. Science and Behavior Books, Inc., United States 1973.
12. Takaki, Ronald. Strangers from a Different Shore. LiHle, Brown, and
Company, Canada, 1989.
13. Wong, Nellie. Dreams in Harrison Rgilroad Park. East West, China, 1977.
1. East Coast Coalition Against Anti-Asian Violence Conference, Philadelphia,
PA, November 1992:
Deborah Wei, Asian Americans United
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2. Interviews and Disscusion, Ball State's Office of Multicultural Affairs:
Cecilia Bordador
Courtni Pugh
Dr. Brenda Greene
Randy Wozniak
Keith HackeH
Brian Kreider
Mr. Pablo Pagan
Jen Pucka