1st Sunday of Lent 2013
Robert VerEecke, S.J.
Fill in the blanks:
In a million years, I never thought that I would _____.
I never could have imagined that I would _____.
I never could have dreamed that _____.
Did you fill in the blanks?
What was it that you never imagined, dreamed, believed would happen in
your life?
How often in life do we say similar things? You find yourself in a place, in a
relationship, in a community, in work that you could never have “imagined.”
I’m frequently saying to myself that I could never have imagined being a
pastor, being a pastor for 24 years, being pastor of a Latino community. And
the list goes on.
As people of faith, when we examine our lives, we have to wonder if “where
we are and whom we are with and what we are doing” isn’t just fate or
chance. You may have some sense that you have been “led” to this place, to
this relationship, to this community, to this life project. You may have some
sense that the Holy Spirit has been leading you, guiding you along the way.
Of course, it’s easier to recognize the Spirit leading when we have a sense of
“rightness” about where we find ourselves. This is a good place to be, a
good relationship to be in, a good community or life project to have. I am
who I am in this place. The rightness of being here reveals my true self.
What about when it doesn’t lead to something obviously “right and just”?
What if it leads to failing or falling? Do we have a sense that the Spirit is
leading then? When there’s pain, suffering, confusion, chaos can God’s Holy
Spirit be leading us? Sometimes in life we say “how in the world did I end
up here?” and we say it with despondency or despair. Can the Spirit have
led me to a place of “testing, trial and temptation”?
At least according to the scriptures, the answer is: Yes. God’s Spirit leads
the people of Israel into a desert experience of 40 years where they are
tested, tried and tempted to return to slavery and bondage in Egypt. The
devil you know is better than the devil you don’t know... as the saying goes.
(By the way, it’s not easy to be thinking about a “desert” experience in the
midst of a blizzard of snow. Just imagine it’s a sand storm….)
Jesus filled with Holy Spirit is led by the Spirit into the desert. Like the
people of Israel, Jesus is led into the desert where he is tempted by the devil.
But why would the Spirit who in his baptism “descended on him like a
dove” filling him with the words “You are my beloved son in whom I am
well pleased” be leading him to a desert place to be tempted? Why would
the Spirit lead him from fullness to “emptiness,” a desert place where the
growling of his empty stomach would be amplified in the silence?
(The temptation for us in this story may be that we are distracted by the
“devil.” The focus becomes the one who tempts rather than the one, the
Spirit, who leads Jesus into temptation, test, and trial. We can get caught up
in wondering if the devil is a “person” whom Jesus sees, a voice out of
nowhere that he hears, an inner psychic struggle. Remember that Mark’s
gospel does not give the devil a voice. Only Matthew and Luke do. And how
did they know what that dialogue was if Jesus was the only one around?)
So why would the Spirit lead him to this place where he would know hunger
and perhaps hallucination? Did I really see that? Did I really hear that? Did
that really happen?
The answer could be very simple: So that Jesus would know himself. That
he would be clear about who he was and what he really wanted, what really
mattered to him. The Spirit leads him to the desert so that he will know who
he is.
(We are told that Jesus was like us in all things but sin. But since sin is so
much a part of who we are, it might have been nice if, just once or twice, he
gave into temptation. If I were the gospel writer I’d have Jesus turning those
stones into bread, saying something like, Yes, I’m really starving. And I
wonder if he did yield to the temptation to use his divine privilege if he
would be any less the “beloved son in whom I am well pleased.”)
If this homily seems to be wandering all over the place, that’s intentional.
Like those Israelites wandering in the desert or Jesus wandering in the
desert, we are wandering and wondering what the meaning of all of this is.
At least it’s only wandering for 10 minutes and not 40 days or 40 years.
So here it is in a nutshell: The Spirit leads Jesus into the desert so that he
will know his true identity. He will know the enemy, the one who wants to
keep him from his true self and the real purpose of his life. If Jesus was led
into the desert filled with the Spirit, the same Spirit is overflowing as he
comes out of the desert and begins his ministry. As we heard a week or so
ago, “The Spirit of the Lord is upon me, for he has anointed me.” Perhaps
the other voice that Jesus heard in his “inner ear” was: “You are God’s
beloved. You are God’s beloved. You are God’s beloved.”
And even though we pray “lead us not into temptation” are we led into
“temptation” to know ourselves better, to confront our weaknesses, to know
what we really want? What really matters? And if we give into temptation,
are we loved any less? What difference do our failings and falling make?
You’ll have to wait for part two of this homily. Come back in two weeks for
the first scrutiny and see how it ends. (Thank you Downton Abbey.)