Note that student work varies significantly from one assignment to the next, even within
the same level. The intent of providing samples such as this one is to guide students in
recognizing key criteria of assignments and in assessing their own work.
SAMPLE CHARACTER SKETCH – EXCELLENT
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Strengths:
• Explanations are thorough and the link to the trait is effective (thinking).
• Clear structure is achieved through consistent use of transitions (application).
• Writing is error-free (communication).
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Note: While writing your own character sketch, double-space both rough and final
drafts. To demonstrate knowledge of paragraph structure for this assignment,
number the steps as shown on the outline template and in the sample.
(1) Moose Maddon, in the short story, “The Moose and the Sparrow,” by Hugh
Garner, reveals the personality trait of insensitivity. (2) His insensitivity, or cruel
mentality towards others, is evident through the observations of the narrator, Mr.
Anderson, who works at the same logging camp as Moose and Cecil, a timid new coworker. Mr. Anderson comments on Moose's harmful pranks and on Moose's character.
(3) Mr. Anderson describes one prank where, one night, just for the fun of it, Moose
“carried the sleeping Cecil, mattress and all, down to the river and threw him in” (107).
(4) The performance of this harmful prank reflects Moose’s uncaring nature because
"sleeping Cecil" is not even aware of what is happening to him. Furthermore, this prank
shows Moose’s insensitivity because it could result in Cecil’s drowning, which is a
serious consequence. (5) While playing pranks on new workers is the norm at a logging
camp, fellow workers notice that Moose's actions are more than a playful joke. The
narrator, Mr. Anderson, knows that "Moose was capable of going to almost any
lengths to prevent Cecil leaving the camp without knuckling under at least once; his
urge seemed […] to be almost insane" (111). (6) Mr. Anderson, an experienced logger,
sees Moose as being determined to break down Cecil, which would happen through
Cecil's "knuckling under". Furthermore, Moose is described as having an "urge" that is
"almost insane", suggesting that he is not thinking straight. Clearly, Mr. Anderson sees
Moose as an uncaring individual who lacks the self-control to be sensitive to the needs of
others. (7) Therefore, in the short story, “The Moose and the Sparrow”, Mr. Anderson,
the narrator, shows how Moose is insensitive by describing his behaviour and attitude
toward a timid worker.
Work Cited
Garner, Hugh. "The Moose and the Sparrow." Kaleidoscope: Canadian Stories. Ed.
John Metcalf. Toronto: Van Nostrand Reinhold Ltd., 1972. 106-115. Print.