D e v e lo p i n g self-esteem Developing self-esteem table of contents 1 | Introduction ............................................................................................................................................................................... 3 1 | What is self-esteem? ........................................................................................................................................... 3 2 | Learning objectives ............................................................................................................................................. 4 3 | Learning outcomes .............................................................................................................................................. 4 4 | The ‘added value’ for these training modules .................................................................... 4 5 | The framework of the module ............................................................................................................... 4 2 | Training process .................................................................................................................................................................. 6 1 | Session 1 ........................................................................................................................................................................... 6 1 | Session 2 ........................................................................................................................................................................... 7 1 | Session 3 ........................................................................................................................................................................... 8 1 | Session 4 ........................................................................................................................................................................... 9 1 | Session 5 ........................................................................................................................................................................... 9 1 | Session 6 ....................................................................................................................................................................... 10 1 | Session 7 ....................................................................................................................................................................... 11 1 | Session 8 ....................................................................................................................................................................... 12 14 | Journal writing ............................................................................................................................................................ 13 This project has been funded with support from the European Commission. This publication [communication] reflects the views only of the author, and the Commission cannot be held responsible for any use which may be made of the information contained therein. PROJECT N 510853-LLP-1-2010-1-BG-GRUNTVIG-GMP http://advalue-project.eu Developing self-esteem Module 1: Developing self-esteem 1. Introduction This module follows on from the module‘Developing self-awareness. Both modules aim to engender enthusiasm and commitment in adult learners either as part of a vocational training course or inservice training. The Advalue project team carried out research across Europe into what skills employers felt were most important in the work place. Emphasis was placed on ‘transferable skills’ : those skills that the employee might have learnt at home or in another context and which could then be transferred to a work context. In the UK employer focus groups, employers agreed that enthusiasm and commitment were more important than vocational specific skills. Employers felt that a new recruit with motivation would be able to learn more and work harder and that this was the strongest quality in a new employee. It was also considered that enthusiasm and motivation were vital for the employee to be able to obtain satisfaction from their job. This training has been developed following consultation from experts in the field of psychology and behaviour, from quality experts in education, careers guidance experts and with employers and adult learners. The outcomes of these meetings led to the following conclusion: enthusiasm, commitment and motivation can be encouraged in learners if they are self-aware and have confidence in themselves (self-esteem). It is for this reason that we have broken down the ‘Enthusiasm and Commitment’ module in to two sections: 1. Developing self-awareness and 2. Improving self-esteem. This is an innovative approach for a training module as we realise that it is important that the learners discover for themselves what motivates them and that they themselves are in charge of their own learning and self-development. “Telling someone they should be motivated is as unhelpful as telling someone they need to be happy and is unlikely to work. The role of the teacher is to help their learners find out what motivates them and to pursue this whether it be through developing a sense of purpose or self-confidence or competence or a sense of belonging or control over their own destiny”. Education Psychologist (Advalue Strategic Partner, UK). 1. What is self-esteem? Self-esteem is about the value we place on ourselves: What am I worth as a human being? Am I living a life that fits my hopes and values? Do other people value me properly? Feeling good about ourselves not only means greater enjoyment from life, it can have a great effect everything we do. But of many of us, our view of self-worth is not as high as we would wish. We experience feelings of inferiority, self-doubt and anxiety. Such limitations on our self-esteem may mean that we: • Avoid new experiences (stay’safe’) • Torture ourselves with doubt about what we can and can’t do • Fail to stand up for ourselves • Don’t get much satisfaction when we are successful This project has been funded with support from the European Commission. This publication [communication] reflects the views only of the author, and the Commission cannot be held responsible for any use which may be made of the information contained therein. PROJECT N 510853-LLP-1-2010-1-BG-GRUNTVIG-GMP http://advalue-project.eu Developing self-esteem • Feel out of control • Punish ourselves or blame others for our misfortunes • Waste energy comparing ourselves with others and resenting their success. This introduction to the Developing Self-esteem module offers some guidelines for the use of the material, which should be consulted before individual activities are selected for training sessions. 2. Learning objectives By the end of the module, the learner will be able to : The approach, method and resources of these modules is different from other vocational or inservice ‘soft skill’ training in that it does not tell the learner what they should behave like in order to succeed. Rather, it encourages the learner themselves to think how they might be happier and more satisfied in their role. The training should be delivered in a positive way and assume that the learners have many skills in different areas. It is important that the trainer knows that there is no ‘right or wrong’ for the learner. It is of the utmost importance that the learner should have ‘ownership’ of their self-development. 5. have some knowledge of techniques to build his/her levels of self esteem The resources are not grouped in terms of learner level, and are intended to be used flexibly and adapted as required. We have consulted experts in the fields of education psychology, careers guidance, quality in vocational training and with adult learners and employers and we have developed resources which are based on several therapeutic theories (including person centred counselling, personal construct theory and cognitive behaviour therapy.) 3. Learning outcomes: 5. The framework of the module: 1. define what is meant by self esteem 2. be aware of the factors which build self esteem 3. be aware of the factors which damage self esteem 4. identify the consequences of low self esteem This module follows on from the ‘Developing Selfawareness’ module so learners should have a good understanding of what it is that motivates them and what their own strengths and qualities are. They will have identified areas for change at work and outside work but it might be that confidence is holding them back in making these changes. At the end of this module the learner should identified areas in which are lacking in self-esteem and what the reasons are for this. They should also have put into practice some tools for improving their confidence in themselves. 4. The ‘added value’ for these training modules Target group: Most learners could benefit from this module, but it is particularly useful for learners who: • are enrolled on a vocational course and are deciding what career pathway to choose • are seeking employment • are already in work and recognise that they would like to improve their motivation and their enjoyment of their job Number of participants Groups should be between 9-15 This project has been funded with support from the European Commission. This publication [communication] reflects the views only of the author, and the Commission cannot be held responsible for any use which may be made of the information contained therein. PROJECT N 510853-LLP-1-2010-1-BG-GRUNTVIG-GMP http://advalue-project.eu Developing self-esteem Environment Equipment/materials needed The classroom environment should be ‘adult’ rather than school-like (in rows). At discussion points the group should be able to sit in a circle and have enough room to move to different points in the room for more personal discussion. Duration of the whole training module This module should last approximately 8-10 hours. Each learner will need a portfolio/journal to reflect on their learning and to record evidence of ‘distance travelled’ or observation of good important points for themselves. There are worksheets available for use with this module. These should be adapted by the tutor depending on the needs of the specific group. Module breakdown Subtopic Approaches, methods, tools Approximate Duration Introduction to the module by the tutor – use ‘what is self-esteem’ and group discussion asking the same question. 1. Introduction to the module Introduction to/reminder of reflective journal and scaling and exploring what is meant 1 hour tools/assessment by ‘self-esteem’. Individual work – use the self-esteem checklist to begin to reflect on own self-esteem. Journal reflection 2. Recognise lack of selfesteem and its causes Intro by tutor and use the ‘recognise self-esteem and its causes’, ‘How do you feel about yourself?’, ‘Recognising lack of self-esteem in others’ and ‘identifying causes of low self-esteem’. Individually, in pairs and in group discussion. Journal reflection 1 hour 3. Identifying good qualities Group work; Meeting each other and giving ‘positive strokes’ Identifying good qualities journal reflection 1 hour 4. Recognising positives Individual and pair work –and together to discuss as a group. Using worksheets: ‘Acknowledging the positive’ and ‘Focus on the positive’ Journal reflection/scaling/assessment 1 hour This project has been funded with support from the European Commission. This publication [communication] reflects the views only of the author, and the Commission cannot be held responsible for any use which may be made of the information contained therein. PROJECT N 510853-LLP-1-2010-1-BG-GRUNTVIG-GMP http://advalue-project.eu Developing self-esteem 5. Understanding perfectionism Individual and group work Self-analysis – using questionnaires on perfectionism (‘am I a perfectionist?’ and ’are you a perfectionist?’) 1 hour Discussion of practical ways to overcome perfectionism using the support sheet ‘What is perfectionism?’ Journal reflection 6. Using cognitive behavioural approaches Trainer introduction to CBT Using the ABC/ABCD tools – individually, in pairs and as a 1 hour group. Journal reflection 7. Expanding self-esteem : accepting yourself Introduction by trainer. ‘External conditions checklist’, ‘Healthy alternatives to 1 hour negative self-esteem’, ‘Negative labels and exercises’. Group discussion and individual work + journal reflection. 8. Review and assessment Summary of module by tutor and learners Review of journals and final assessment/scaling �������������� II. Training process ������� 1-2 hours 1.3 Training materials Handout: What is self-esteem? 1. Session 1 1.1 Subject: Introduction to the module ‘What is self-esteem’ 1.2 Learning Objectives By the end of this session, the learner will: 1. be aware of the purpose of this module and how it relates to his/her work or work preparation programme 2. identify what self-esteem is 3. identify the areas of self-esteem that he/she needs to develop 4. have undertaken the first scaling/assessment activity Worksheet: Writing a Journal (if this is the first time the learners have written a journal) 1.4. Training methods Note to trainers: In the 1980’s it was thought that low self-esteem could be successfully treated by a showering the person in ‘positive messages’. However, research has shown that these extremely positive statements can actually worsen the low feelings of someone suffering from low self-esteem. Healthy self-esteem needs to grow gradually over time and through real proof. Just being told by someone (particularly by someone who doesn’t know you very well) that ‘you’re brilliant’ has never been found to work. It might be helpful to share this with the learners – many of them might be relieved! This project has been funded with support from the European Commission. This publication [communication] reflects the views only of the author, and the Commission cannot be held responsible for any use which may be made of the information contained therein. PROJECT N 510853-LLP-1-2010-1-BG-GRUNTVIG-GMP http://advalue-project.eu Developing self-esteem The methods used in this session as throughout the module are based upon the principles of person centred learning and on cognitive behaviour learning theories. This session sets the ground plan of the module for giving the learner ‘ownership’ of his/her self-development. The trainer’s role is to allow the learner to explore the subject of selfesteem and to apply the insights gained from group work in order to aid personal reflection and self-development. i. Trainer briefly explains the purpose of the module to the group and then divides the class into small groups (4-6) Each group explores the question: What is self-esteem and how do we recognise it in ourselves and in others? Use flip chart paper or post-its to record ideas. (10 mins) ii. Trainer asks groups to share their ideas with the group. Each group reports back to class. Use the worksheet on self-esteem to support this discussion if needed. (10 mins) 2. Session 2 2.1. Subject: Recognising lack of self-esteem and the causes of this lack 2.2. Learning objectives By the end of this session, the learner will: 1. be aware of his/her own level of self esteem 2. recognise the symptoms of lack of self esteem in others 3. identify some causes of lack of self esteem 2.3 Training materials Worksheet: Self-esteem – Recognising it and causes, How do you feel about yourself? Recognising lack of self-esteem in others, identifying causes of low self-esteem Journal iii. Extend the discussion by asking is there a difference between being big headed and having high self-esteem? (these are, of course, very different!) Can you have too much self-esteem? (yes!). Self-esteem is holding quite a positive accurate picture of yourself. (5 mins) iv. The trainer explains the assessment to the group. The rest of the session should be used to carry out the initial assessment of the skill descriptors for this module. The trainer needs to allow time to scale each individual in the group and the learner will need to scale themselves (and give reasons for X3). The learner will also need to decide who will be their 3rd assessor (their line manager, mentor or a peer from the class) and make sure that they complete this before the next session. ( 20-25 mins) v. Learners write their journals. (introduce journal writing if this has not yet been done) (5-10 mins) 2.4. Training methods Note to trainer: Low self-esteem is a false perception of oneself. If you have low self-esteem then it automatically follows that you are better than you think you are. When your self-esteem improves it is because your self-knowledge has improved. Healthy self-esteem doesn’t mean loving yourself no matter what you do. Shame, guilt and self-reproach do have a place if we behave badly. People with low self-esteem tend to feel these things even when This project has been funded with support from the European Commission. This publication [communication] reflects the views only of the author, and the Commission cannot be held responsible for any use which may be made of the information contained therein. PROJECT N 510853-LLP-1-2010-1-BG-GRUNTVIG-GMP http://advalue-project.eu Developing self-esteem they don’t behave badly. Session 3 Underpinning theory: As for Session 1. All the 3.1. Subject: Identifying good qualities material for this session is contained in the worksheet 3.2. Learning Objectives which has the following sections; By the end of this session, the learner will: • how do you feel about yourself • how do you recognise lack of self-esteem in • have identified his/her own good qualities others 3.3. Training materials • identifying causes of low self esteem Worksheet: Identifying good qualities. How the trainer uses this material will depend upon Journal the characteristics of individual group members 3.4. Training methods and the dynamics within the group. No learner should be expected to share feelings or experiences that make him/her uncomfortable or embarrassed. Sequence i. Trainer input – briefly to explain the stages of the activity and purpose of the activity and to make sure the questions are understood. Share the note to trainer information with your group if you think this will be useful for them. (10 mins) Person-centred learning. Self-reflection. Part of the session stems from the ‘positive strokes’ theory of transactional analysis. i. Brainstorming activity as a whole group. Think of all the people in the group and, without naming anyone, write down people’s positive qualities. Share these with the group by writing them on post-its and then the trainer can read them out. (10 mins) ii. Exercise ‘These are the good things I know about you’. This exercise requires that the learners know something about each other. The first brainstorming activity should have given people ideas. The learners will have an individual meeting with each member of the group in which they give and receive feedback about each person’s good qualities. The learners note down all the good things that are said about iii. Causes of low self-esteem. Small group work them. The time will depend upon the number of – Brainstorm causes and record these on flipchart. people in the class. (5-10 mins) (20 mins) ii. Trainer asks for responses to exercise. Surprised? iv. Plenary Feedback from small group work. Trainer Pleased? Embarrassed? Point out how we ‘hear’ to draw together and summarise key learning criticism’ more than praise and how restricting this points. (10 mins) can be (recap previous sessions). (10 mins) v. Journal reflection. (5-10 mins) iii. Individual work. Learners add to the qualities that others have seen in them by going through the ii. Individual work. Learners may work through both the first 2 questions ‘How do you feel about yourself?’ and ‘Recognising Lack of Self Esteem in Others’ or the trainer may prefer to give out the questions one by one, allowing for pair or group work after each question. (20 mins) This project has been funded with support from the European Commission. This publication [communication] reflects the views only of the author, and the Commission cannot be held responsible for any use which may be made of the information contained therein. PROJECT N 510853-LLP-1-2010-1-BG-GRUNTVIG-GMP http://advalue-project.eu Developing self-esteem worksheet of good qualities. (10 mins) They write a ‘self-affirmation’ statement in their journals. E.g. I am a good listener. When my friends/ colleagues have problems, I listen to what they have to say and ask them questions about the problem to understand them better. (10 mins) negatives and to look at their skills in a positive light. Low self-esteem makes us magnify failures and personal faults and minimise or completely discount successes and personal strengths. Don’t do this! Be fair! If other people tell you that you are looking good, skilled, kind or funny etc. you should respect their opinion and at least consider what they say. Trainers should use this session for the second scaling/assessment if it is felt that this is too early in the module – then exchange this session for session 5 and complete this session in its place the following week. i. Group work. Tutor introduces the subject of focusing on the positive and talks about how we all tend to focus on the negative. Use the above introduction to introduce a short discussion. (5-10 mins) 4. Session 4 4.1 Subject. Recognising positives 4.2 Learning Objectives By the end of this session, the learner will: 1. Have considered a whole range positive things that they are glad about 2. Be able to focus on the positive and use positive language 4.3 Training materials Worksheet: Acknowledging the positive Worksheet: Focus on the positive Journal 4.4 Training methods This session helps learners to identify the things that they are glad about in their lives. It also helps learners to focus on the positives rather than ii. Individual work. Each learner completes the ‘Acknowledging the Positives’ worksheet. (5 mins) iii. Group activity. See the first activity on the ‘Focus on the Positives’ worksheet. Give several scenarios like the one given and discuss as a group how you could change this around and focus on the positive. (5-10 mins) iv. Individual work. Learners complete the second exercise on the above sheet for themselves. (5-10 mins) iii. Pair work. Each learner discusses the results of the worksheets with a partner. (5-10 mins) v. Scaling/assessment (20-25 mins). This can run alongside any of the other activities above, depending on timings. 5. Session 5 5.1. Subject: Understanding perfectionism 5.2. Learning Objectives This project has been funded with support from the European Commission. This publication [communication] reflects the views only of the author, and the Commission cannot be held responsible for any use which may be made of the information contained therein. PROJECT N 510853-LLP-1-2010-1-BG-GRUNTVIG-GMP http://advalue-project.eu Developing self-esteem By the end of this session, the learner will: 1. know what is meant by the term ‘perfectionist’ perfectionist is holding them back. If this is not applicable to some learners then they should imagine someone they know. (5-10 mins) 2. understand the dangers of perfectionism 3. be able to identify perfectionist traits in him/ herself 5.3. Training materials Worksheet: Am I a perfectionist? Journal 5.4. Training methods For learners who have perhaps been labeled (or labeled themselves) as lazy or slapdash, it can be very revealing to look at this topic. Often, it is ‘perfectionism’, the belief that they must produce something perfect which has led to their so-called ‘laziness’ in the first place. It is very liberating to realise that work can be faulty and that mistakes are good because we learn from them. i. Trainer introduces subject and asks learners what they understand by the term ‘perfectionist’. Trainer notes answers on whiteboard/flipchart. (10-15 mins) ii. Learners work individually to complete the questionnaire ‘Am I a perfectionist?’ and then go on to complete the more detailed questionnaire ‘Are you a perfectionist?’ (10 mins) Iii. Group session. The group discusses their findings and share ideas to overcome perfectionism. (10-15 mins) iv. Group session. Go over the sheet ‘what is perfectionism?’ looking in particular at the how to overcome perfectionism section. (10 mins) v. Individual work. Learners complete the practice exercise – thinking of a situation where being a 6. Session 6 6.1. Subject Using cognitive behaviour approaches 6.2. Learning Objectives By the end of this session, the learner will: 1. identify the elements of a cognitive behavioural approach to problem solving 2. be able to use the ‘ABCD’ worksheet form to identify his/her own thinking style and to work towards alternative responses 6.3. Training materials Worksheet: ABC worksheet/worksheet example & ABCD worksheet/worksheet example Journal 6.4. Training methods CBT techniques focus on your thoughts (cognitive) and your actions (behaviour). CBT uses scientifically verified strategies to help people change their behaviour to achieve more positive outcomes in their lives. Linking thinking and feeling You may think that if something happens to you, like your bus is late, that it is the actual event that makes you feel angry or anxious. But according to CBT, what determines the quality and intensity of the emotion you experience are your thoughts about the event. Positive events usually lead to positive emotions and negative events to negative emotions. However, the personal meaning you give to events This project has been funded with support from the European Commission. This publication [communication] reflects the views only of the author, and the Commission cannot be held responsible for any use which may be made of the information contained therein. PROJECT N 510853-LLP-1-2010-1-BG-GRUNTVIG-GMP 10 http://advalue-project.eu Developing self-esteem in your life sometimes may lead to unhealthy and problematic emotional reactions. Sometimes your thoughts can mean that you give extreme meaning to relatively small events. For example, you may feel that your partners’ lateness means that they have had a terrible accident or is an indication that they don’t love you anymore. Some of the meanings that people can give to events are highly improbable and unhelpful. This session introduces the basic ‘ABCD’ tool of CBT. It is used to identify unhelpful and self-defeating thinking and replace it with healthy, realistic thoughts. i. The trainer explains CBT (using the introduction above). (10 mins) ii. The trainer introduces the ABC sheet with example and explains how it is used for a situation that you are very anxious or upset about. Go over the example. (5 mins) iii. Individuals write out an example of their own (one that they won’t mind sharing). (5 mins) iv. The trainer now introduces the final D column. The one in which the thoughts are questioned (or ‘disputed’) and replaced with more realistic thoughts. Use the example worksheet. (5 mins) v. In pairs, the learners help each other to complete the D column for their own example. (10 mins) vi. The group share their completed ABCD worksheets. (5 mins) vii. Individuals now complete the ABCD worksheet again for a more personal problem and reflect in their journal. (10-15) 7. Session 7 7.1. Subject: Expanding self-esteem: accepting yourself 7.2. Learning Objectives By the end of this session, the learner will: 1. identify any negative labels that he/she might call themselves 2. understand that self-acceptance is an alternative to low self-esteem 7.3. Training materials Worksheet: External conditions checklist, Healthy alternatives to negative labels, Negative labels and alternatives Journal 7.4. Training methods This session looks at practical ways to increase selfesteem by focussing on accepting yourself (and others). Learners will explore ways in which they might judge and label themselves negatively and think about why this is not helpful and think about how they might stop doing this. Rating yourself as ‘good’ or ‘bad’, a ‘success’ or a ‘failure’ based on your current life situation or achievements is extremely common. This does not mean that this is a helpful thing to do. Basing your opinion of yourself on external This project has been funded with support from the European Commission. This publication [communication] reflects the views only of the author, and the Commission cannot be held responsible for any use which may be made of the information contained therein. PROJECT N 510853-LLP-1-2010-1-BG-GRUNTVIG-GMP 11 http://advalue-project.eu Developing self-esteem conditions is the cause of self-esteem problems. Life is unpredictable and prone to change; therefore your few of yourself can change greatly if you measure your value by your job, relationships, financial situation etc. how they judge themselves and alternatives over the next week they should try to catch themselves saying these negative things and replace this with a more realistic alternative. Make a note of these occasions in their journals. (5-10 mins) It is important to accept yourself as an essentially worthy person and only rate individual aspects of yourself and your behaviour. 8. Session 8 Acquiring self-acceptance means that you’re able to recognise that we’re all equal in worth but unequal in specific aspects. So you may speak a second language fluently but be a terrible cook whilst your colleague or friend may be the exact opposite. You’re still both worthy individuals but have different strengths and limitations. i. Open-ended and learner led. How the trainer runs this session will depend upon how the learners have responded in the previous sessions. The emphasis will be on drawing out from them those areas where they feel they have increased their selfawareness. i. Trainer introduction using the information above. (5-10 mins) ii. Worksheet – ‘External Conditions checklist’ Individuals identify which external conditions they tend to judge their own overall worth against. Learners should add their own conditions if they feel there is something missing from the sheet. (5 mins) iii. Group discussion about negative labels and how we all say negative things to ourselves and why this isn’t helpful. Tutor should use the introduction to the ‘Healthy alternatives to negative labels’ worksheet to introduce this. Look at the list of negative labels (write them on a flip chart or on a white board) and then try to think or realistic alternative healthy labels before looking at the alternatives given on the worksheet. (10-15) 8.1. Subject: Review and Assessment ii. There may be areas that the learners would like to have covered and the trainer can use part of the session to do this. It is important that positive aspects of the module and of what learners have learnt are emphasised in this last session. iii. Individual work. Learners should review their journals in order to understand how far they have come. iv. Final scaling/assessment should be carried out in this session. The trainer needs to spend enough time with each of the learners to carry out this with them. v. Certificates can either be filled in and handed out during this session or at a later date – depending on time and capacity. iv. Individual work. Tutors introduce the ‘negative labels and alternatives’ worksheet. Learners should use the information from previous exercises to help them. This time they should add a little more personal information. (10-15 mins) v. Plenary session. Now that learners have identified This project has been funded with support from the European Commission. This publication [communication] reflects the views only of the author, and the Commission cannot be held responsible for any use which may be made of the information contained therein. PROJECT N 510853-LLP-1-2010-1-BG-GRUNTVIG-GMP 12 http://advalue-project.eu Developing self-esteem Journal Writing Following each class, you will have time to write up your journal entry. This is a record of what you personally have gained from the session and what you still want to achieve or learn in this area. You can also write in your journal about things that have happened at work or with friends that are connected to the topics covered in the classes. Assessment Multicultural communication is a very important part of this course. Your tutor will want to check that you are keeping your journal regularly and you may be asked to talk in general about some of the things you have written, just to make sure you are on the right track. But your tutor will not read your journal. It is personal - a place for you to write down what’s happening to you and what progress you feel you are making on the course and in your life in general. Each entry should include: • The date of the lesson. • The topic being covered. • Anything you learnt from other people in the class. • What you learnt about yourself in the lesson. • Feelings/thoughts about yourself from what you learnt • A re-think of your own strengths and weaknesses. • Goals and action steps for the future. This project has been funded with support from the European Commission. This publication [communication] reflects the views only of the author, and the Commission cannot be held responsible for any use which may be made of the information contained therein. PROJECT N 510853-LLP-1-2010-1-BG-GRUNTVIG-GMP 13 http://advalue-project.eu