Elaboration
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MENU EXIT Elaboration When your writing lacks details, your readers may not fully understand your ideas. Continue… PREVIOUS MENU EXIT Elaboration When your writing lacks details, your readers may not fully understand your ideas. What is missing from these statements? Our sports program is in real trouble. Her new shoes were extremely uncomfortable. Click to see a revision PREVIOUS MENU Elaboration When your writing lacks details, your readers may not fully understand your ideas. Notice how adding details makes these sentences clearer. ORIGINAL Our sports program is in real trouble. REVISED Budget cuts have eliminated the soccer, tennis, and golf teams at Warren High School. ORIGINAL Her new shoes were extremely uncomfortable. REVISED Her new shoes pinched her toes, rubbed blisters on her heels, and forced her to take tiny, mincing steps. Next EXIT PREVIOUS MENU EXIT Elaboration Elaboration is the process of adding details to your writing to provide information and to clarify your ideas. Continue… MENU Elaboration Elaboration is the process of adding details to your writing to provide information and to clarify your ideas. You can add details and explanations in a variety of ways. Click on the strategy you want to explore. MENU • Sensory Details • Similes and Metaphors • Definitions • Examples • Analogies • Facts and Statistics • Visuals • Reasons • Expert Testimony EXIT MENU Elaboration Sensory Details Sensory details are words and phrases that appeal to the five senses. They enable readers to experience something as you experienced it. Sight translucent octagonal city lights Sound cacophony trill yip of a puppy Touch soft nubby like an electric shock Taste rancid dill pickles sour as lemon Smell burnt toast gardenias warm apple pie EXIT MENU Elaboration Sensory Details Sensory details are words and phrases that appeal to the five senses. They enable readers to experience something as you experienced it. Sight translucent octagonal city lights Sound cacophony trill yip of a puppy Touch soft nubby like an electric shock Taste rancid dill pickles sour as lemon Smell burnt toast gardenias warm apple pie Next EXIT PREVIOUS MENU EXIT Elaboration Sensory Details Can you spot the sensory details in this paragraph? sight sound touch taste smell Sliding along on her cross-country skis, Sasha felt her whole body tingle. The action of snow, skis, and boots massaged her feet, and sprinkles of snow brushed her face. The fresh snow tasted like a clear mountain stream. Ice crystals formed prisms on her goggles, creating a rainbow of color that arced across her eyes. Suddenly, she heard the crackling and hissing of a fire and the welcoming smell of marshmallows roasting. Click to see examples of sight PREVIOUS MENU EXIT Elaboration Sensory Details Can you spot the sensory details in this paragraph? sight sound touch taste smell Sliding along on her cross-country skis, Sasha felt her whole body tingle. The action of snow, skis, and boots massaged her feet, and sprinkles of snow brushed her face. The fresh snow tasted like a clear mountain stream. Ice crystals formed prisms on her goggles, creating a rainbow of color that arced across her eyes. Suddenly, she heard the crackling and hissing of a fire and the welcoming smell of marshmallows roasting. Click to see examples of sound PREVIOUS MENU EXIT Elaboration Sensory Details Can you spot the sensory details in this paragraph? sight sound touch taste smell Sliding along on her cross-country skis, Sasha felt her whole body tingle. The action of snow, skis, and boots massaged her feet, and sprinkles of snow brushed her face. The fresh snow tasted like a clear mountain stream. Ice crystals formed prisms on her goggles, creating a rainbow of color that arced across her eyes. Suddenly, she heard the crackling and hissing of a fire and the welcoming smell of marshmallows roasting. Click to see examples of touch PREVIOUS MENU EXIT Elaboration Sensory Details Can you spot the sensory details in this paragraph? sight sound touch taste smell Sliding along on her cross-country skis, Sasha felt her whole body tingle. The action of snow, skis, and boots massaged her feet, and sprinkles of snow brushed her face. The fresh snow tasted like a clear mountain stream. Ice crystals formed prisms on her goggles, creating a rainbow of color that arced across her eyes. Suddenly, she heard the crackling and hissing of a fire and the welcoming smell of marshmallows roasting. Click to see examples of taste PREVIOUS MENU EXIT Elaboration Sensory Details Can you spot the sensory details in this paragraph? sight sound touch taste smell Sliding along on her cross-country skis, Sasha felt her whole body tingle. The action of snow, skis, and boots massaged her feet, and sprinkles of snow brushed her face. The fresh snow tasted like a clear mountain stream. Ice crystals formed prisms on her goggles, creating a rainbow of color that arced across her eyes. Suddenly, she heard the crackling and hissing of a fire and the welcoming smell of marshmallows roasting. Click to see examples of smell PREVIOUS MENU EXIT Elaboration Sensory Details Can you spot the sensory details in this paragraph? sight sound touch taste smell Sliding along on her cross-country skis, Sasha felt her whole body tingle. The action of snow, skis, and boots massaged her feet, and sprinkles of snow brushed her face. The fresh snow tasted like a clear mountain stream. Ice crystals formed prisms on her goggles, creating a rainbow of color that arced across her eyes. Suddenly, she heard the crackling and hissing of a fire and the welcoming smell of marshmallows roasting. Menu MENU EXIT Elaboration Similes and Metaphors A simile compares two things using either like or as. The comparison extends the description, adds detail, provides explanations, or expresses meaning or emotion. Click to see an example of a simile PREVIOUS MENU EXIT Elaboration Similes and Metaphors A simile compares two things using either like or as. The comparison extends the description, adds detail, provides explanations, or expresses meaning or emotion. Great green and yellow grasshoppers are everywhere in the tall grass, popping up like corn to sting the flesh . . . —N. Scott Momaday, The Way to Rainy Mountain Continue… PREVIOUS MENU EXIT Elaboration Similes and Metaphors A simile compares two things using either like or as. The comparison extends the description, adds detail, provides explanations, or expresses meaning or emotion. Great green and yellow grasshoppers are everywhere in the tall grass, popping up like corn to sting the flesh . . . —N. Scott Momaday, The Way to Rainy Mountain A metaphor describes one thing in terms of another, without using like or as. Click to see an example of a metaphor PREVIOUS MENU Elaboration Similes and Metaphors A simile compares two things using either like or as. The comparison extends the description, adds detail, provides explanations, or expresses meaning or emotion. Great green and yellow grasshoppers are everywhere in the tall grass, popping up like corn to sting the flesh . . . —N. Scott Momaday, The Way to Rainy Mountain A metaphor describes one thing in terms of another, without using like or as. I needed to open a valve and let the river of secret words find a way out. —Isabel Allende, “Writing as an Act of Hope” Next EXIT PREVIOUS MENU EXIT Elaboration Similes and Metaphors What are the simile and metaphor here? simile metaphor Every few years Tía Chucha would visit the family in a tornado of song and open us up as if we were an overripe avocado. —Luis Rodriguez, “Tía Chucha” Click to see the simile PREVIOUS MENU EXIT Elaboration Similes and Metaphors What are the simile and metaphor in this paragraph? simile metaphor Every few years Tía Chucha would visit the family in a tornado of song and open us up as if we were an overripe avocado. —Luis Rodriguez, “Tía Chucha” Click to see the metaphor PREVIOUS MENU EXIT Elaboration Similes and Metaphors What are the simile and metaphor in this paragraph? simile metaphor Every few years Tía Chucha would visit the family in a tornado of song i and open us up as if we were an overripe avocado. —Luis Rodriguez, “Tía Chucha” Menu MENU Elaboration Similes and Metaphors What are the simile and metaphor in this paragraph? simile metaphor Every few years Tía Chucha would visit the family CLOSE in a tornado of song i and open us up Notice that “a tornado of as if we were an overripe song” avocado. also creates a comparison but does not – Luis Rodriguez, “Tía Chucha” use like or as. EXIT MENU EXIT Elaboration Definitions Always define any potentially unfamiliar words for your readers. The simplest way to define a word is to explain its meaning in context—that is, in the sentence in which you use it. Continue… PREVIOUS MENU Elaboration Definitions Always define any potentially unfamiliar words for your readers. The simplest way to define a word is to explain its meaning in context—that is, in the sentence in which you use it. What words should be defined in this sentence? The basic diet of baleen whales consists of krill and other plankton. Click to see the words that need defining EXIT PREVIOUS MENU EXIT Elaboration Definitions Always define any potentially unfamiliar words for your readers. The simplest way to define a word is to explain its meaning in context—that is, in the sentence in which you use it. What words should be defined in this sentence? The basic diet of baleen whales consists of krill and other plankton. Click to see a revision PREVIOUS MENU Elaboration Definitions Always define any potentially unfamiliar words for your readers. The simplest way to define a word is to explain its meaning in context—that is, in the sentence in which you use it. ORIGINAL The basic diet of baleen whales consists of krill and other plankton. REVISED The basic diet of baleen whales consists of krill—small, semitransparent shrimp-like creatures—and other plankton, or minute floating animals and plants. Next EXIT PREVIOUS MENU Elaboration Definitions Where would definitions help clarify this description? Two important principles underlying Mohandas Gandhi’s philosophy and practice of nonviolence are satya and ahimsa. Click to see the words that need defining EXIT PREVIOUS MENU EXIT Elaboration Definitions Where would definitions help clarify this description? Two important principles underlying Mohandas Gandhi’s philosophy and practice of nonviolence are satya and ahimsa. Click to see a revision PREVIOUS MENU EXIT Elaboration Definitions Two important principles underlying Mohandas Gandhi’s i philosophy and practice of nonviolence are satya, or truth, and ahimsa—refusal to inflict injury. Menu MENU EXIT Elaboration Definitions CLOSE i Two important principles underlying Mohandas Gandhi’s Mohandas Gandhi,and the great philosophy and practice of nonviolence are satya, or truth, Indian nationalist and ahimsa—refusal to inflict injury. spiritual leader, developed the practice of nonviolent disobedience that led to India’s independence from Great Britain. MENU EXIT Elaboration Examples An example is a sample of something used to show what the whole is like. Continue… PREVIOUS MENU EXIT Elaboration Examples An example is a sample of something used to show what the whole is like. What are the examples in this sentence? Many of the foods eaten around the world today—tomatoes, potatoes, beans, and corn, for example—were once found only in North, Central, and South America. Click to see the examples PREVIOUS MENU Elaboration Examples An example is a sample of something used to show what the whole is like. Notice how examples identify specific foods that originated in the Americas. Many of the foods eaten around the world today—tomatoes, potatoes, beans, and corn, for example—were once found only in North, Central, and South America. Next EXIT PREVIOUS MENU EXIT Elaboration Examples An example is a sample of something used to show what the whole is like. Which terms in this sentence would be clarified with examples? Many fiction writers use real locations for their settings. Click to see the terms that need clarification PREVIOUS MENU EXIT Elaboration Examples An example is a sample of something used to show what the whole is like. Which terms in this sentence would be clarified with examples? Many fiction writers use real locations for their settings. Click to see a revision PREVIOUS MENU EXIT Elaboration Examples An example is a sample of something used to show what the whole is like. ORIGINAL Many fiction writers use real locations for their settings. REVISED Many fiction writers use real locations for their settings. For example, Tony Hillerman uses the dusty, open spaces of New Mexico and Arizona for his mystery novels. Menu MENU EXIT Elaboration Analogies An analogy is a comparison between two unlike things. Analogies can explain or clarify an idea or support an argument. Continue… PREVIOUS MENU EXIT Elaboration Analogies An analogy is a comparison between two unlike things. Analogies can explain or clarify an idea or support an argument. What is the analogy in this paragraph? The face of the water, in time, became a wonderful book—a book that was a dead language to the uneducated passenger, but which told its mind to me without reserve, delivering its most cherished secrets . . . —Mark Twain, “Life on the Mississippi” Click to see the analogy PREVIOUS MENU Elaboration Analogies An analogy is a comparison between two unlike things. Analogies can explain or clarify an idea or support an argument. What is the analogy in this paragraph? The face of the water, in time, became a wonderful book— a book that was a dead language to the uneducated passenger, but which told its mind to me without reserve, delivering its most cherished secrets . . . —Mark Twain, “Life on the Mississippi” Next EXIT PREVIOUS MENU EXIT Elaboration Analogies What is the analogy in this statement? Gossip works like a contagious virus. Its toxic effects spread unseen from one bearer to the next. Click to see the analogy PREVIOUS MENU EXIT Elaboration Analogies What is the analogy in this statement? Gossip works like a contagious virus. Its toxic effects spread unseen from one bearer to the next. Menu MENU EXIT Elaboration Facts and Statistics A fact is a statement that can be proved. A statistic is a fact expressed in numbers. Adding a fact or statistic to your writing can help readers better understand your ideas. Continue… MENU Elaboration Facts and Statistics A fact is a statement that can be proved. A statistic is a fact expressed in numbers. Adding a fact or statistic to your writing can help readers better understand your ideas. Fact: Many of the stars and galaxies we see at night are showing us light from ancient times. Statistic: Light from the galaxy Andromeda started its journey over two million years ago. Next EXIT PREVIOUS MENU EXIT Elaboration Facts and Statistics A statistic can often be used to elaborate on a fact. How could statistics help you better understand the effect of the Emergency Quota Act? The Emergency Quota Act of 1921 drastically decreased immigration. Click to see the revision with statistics PREVIOUS MENU Elaboration Facts and Statistics A statistic can often be used to elaborate on a fact. This statistic clarifies that the Emergency Quota Act cut immigration by more than half. The Emergency Quota Act of 1921 decreased immigration from 8,795,000 between 1900 and 1910 to only 4,107,000 between 1921 and 1930. Next EXIT PREVIOUS MENU EXIT Elaboration Facts and Statistics What vague words could be replaced with facts and statistics to strengthen this paragraph? Zora Neale Hurston was a gifted and prolific writer. She published her first story when she was still young. By the time she died, she had written a great number of books as well as other shorter works. Despite the fact that she was awarded many literary prizes and won critical acclaim, she was buried in an unmarked grave. Click to see the vague information PREVIOUS MENU EXIT Elaboration Facts and Statistics What vague words could be replaced with facts and statistics to strengthen this paragraph? Zora Neale Hurston was a gifted and prolific writer. She published her first story when she was still young. By the time she died, she had written a great number of books as well as other shorter works. Despite the fact that she was awarded many literary prizes and won critical acclaim, she was buried in an unmarked grave. Click to see a revision PREVIOUS MENU EXIT Elaboration Facts and Statistics Notice how replacing the vague words and phrases with statistics strengthens the paragraph. Zora Neale Hurston was a gifted and prolific writer. She published her first story in 1921, when she was just 20 years old. By the time she died in 1960, she had written seven books and over 50 shorter works. Despite the fact that she was awarded many literary prizes—including two Guggenheims and the Ainsfield-Wolf Book Award in Race Relations—and won critical acclaim, she was buried in an unmarked grave. Menu MENU Elaboration Visuals Photographs, illustrations, charts, and graphs enable you to present information that might take several paragraphs to describe. Next EXIT PREVIOUS MENU Elaboration Visuals What do you learn from the following visual that would be harder to understand in words? i Next EXIT MENU Elaboration Visuals What do you learn from the following visual that would be CLOSE harder to understand in words? i With just a few words, this graphic clearly illustrates the major impact the Panama Canal had on world trade routes. Next EXIT PREVIOUS MENU EXIT Elaboration Visuals How does the following photograph help support the information provided in this paragraph? With elegant spires towering above the land, the Great Mosque of Djenné, Mali, is constructed of the same lowly materials used in the local houses—sun-dried bricks held together with mud mortar and coated with mud. The walls range from 16 to 24 inches thick to support the height of the building and insulate it from the West African sun. Mud architecture can last for centuries, but the mosque is replastered every spring in a lively festival involving the whole community. Photograph by Adrienne McGrath Menu MENU EXIT Elaboration Reasons Reasons are the “why” behind arguments and opinions. When you revise, be sure every reason is supported with enough detail. Continue… PREVIOUS MENU EXIT Elaboration Reasons Reasons are the “why” behind arguments and opinions. When you revise, be sure every reason is supported with enough detail. What reason is provided in this paragraph? What details support the reason? The unique ecosystem of the Everglades is endangered unless we work to save it. The Everglades have shrunk to less then half their original size as land is drained and water is diverted. The danger comes from agricultural and residential development, especially the sugar industry and the explosion of home building along Florida’s east coast. Click to see the reason and details PREVIOUS MENU EXIT Elaboration Reasons Reasons are the “why” behind arguments and opinions. When you revise, be sure every reason is supported with enough detail. What reason is provided in this paragraph? What details support the reason? The unique ecosystem of the Everglades is endangered unless we work to save it. The Everglades have shrunk to less then half their original size as land is drained and water is diverted. The danger comes from agricultural and residential development, especially the sugar industry and the explosion of home building along Florida’s east coast. Menu MENU EXIT Elaboration Expert Testimony An expert is an educated, experienced authority on a subject. Expert testimony is powerful support for any argument. Continue… PREVIOUS MENU EXIT Elaboration Expert Testimony An expert is an educated, experienced authority on a subject. Expert testimony is powerful support for any argument. Where is the expert testimony in this paragraph? Many scientists who had worked on the atomic bomb as well as military leaders had doubts about using it. Supreme Allied Commander General Dwight D. Eisenhower agreed: “I was against it on two counts. First, the Japanese were ready to surrender and it wasn’t necessary to hit them with that awful thing. Second, I hated to see our country be the first to use such a weapon.” Click to identify the expert testimony PREVIOUS MENU EXIT Elaboration Expert Testimony An expert is an educated, experienced authority on a subject. Expert testimony is powerful support for any argument. Many scientists who had worked on the atomic bomb as well as military leaders had doubts about using it. Supreme Allied Commander General Dwight D. Eisenhower agreed: “I was against it on two counts. First, the Japanese were ready to surrender and it wasn’t necessary to hit them with that awful thing. Second, I hated to see our country be the first to use such a weapon.” i Menu MENU Elaboration Expert Testimony An expert is an educated, experienced authority on a subject. Expert testimony is powerful support for any argument. Many scientists who had worked on the atomic bomb as well as military leaders had doubts about using it. Supreme Allied Commander General Dwight D. Eisenhower agreed: “I was against it on two counts. First the Japanese were ready to CLOSE i surrender and it wasn’t necessary to hit them with that awful Dwight Eisenhower was be the first to use thing. Second, I hated to see our country such a weapon.” not only the Supreme Allied Commander during World War II, he later became the 34th President of the United States. EXIT
