When we understand what the Lord expects of us in the great
plan of happiness, we must strive to use these differences in His
service (Doctrine and Covenants 82:3).
Accepting divinely appointed roles and responsibilities in the
gospel plan helps us find greater happiness in our relationships.
Men and women are equal before the Lord.
The divinely appointed roles and responsibilities of men and
women reflect their different but complimentary natures.
Women and men have divinely appointed roles and
responsibilities in the gospel plan
Q: I’m two months pregnant now. When will my baby
move?
A: With any luck, right after he finishes college.
Q: What is the most reliable method to determine a
baby’s sex?
A: childbirth
Q: My wife is five months pregnant and so moody that
sometimes she’s borderline irrational.
A: So what’s your question?
Q:
My childbirth instructor says it’s not pain I’ll feel
during labor, but pressure. Is she right?
A: Yes, in the same way that a tornado might be called
an air current.
Q: When is the best time to get an epidural?
A: Right after you find out you’re pregnant.
Q:
Is there anything I should avoid while recovering
from childbirth?
A: Yes, pregnancy
Q:
Our baby was born last week. When will my wife
begin to feel and act normal again?
A: When the kids are in college
10.
9.
8.
7.
6.
5.
4.
3.
2.
1.
Cat’s facial expressions.
The need for the same style of shoes in different colors.
Why bean sprouts aren’t just weeds.
Fat clothes.
Taking a trip in the car without trying to beat your
best time.
The difference between beige, ecru, cream, off-white,
and eggshell.
Cutting your bangs to make them grow.
Eyelash curlers.
The inaccuracy of every bathroom scale ever made.
OTHER WOMEN!
Eight ways to know if you have
Estrogen Issues:
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
6.
7.
8.
Everyone around you has an attitude problem.
You’re adding chocolate chips to your cheese omelet.
The dryer has shrunk every last pair of your jeans.
Your husband is suddenly agreeing with everything you
say.
You’re using your cellular phone to dial up every
bumper sticker that says: “How’s my driving- call 1-800***-****.”
Everyone seems to have just landed here from “outer
space.”
You’re sure that everyone is scheming to drive you
crazy.
The ibuprofen bottle is empty, and you bought it
yesterday.
What did you do all day?
A man came home from work and found his three children
outside, still in their pajamas, playing in the mud, with empty
food boxes and wrappers strewn all around the front yard.
The door of his wife’s car was open, as was the front door to
the house and there was no sign of the dog.
Proceeding into the entry, he found an even bigger mess. A
lamp had been knocked over, and the throw rug was wadded
against one wall. In the front room the TV was loudly blaring
a cartoon channel, and the family room was strewn with toys
and various items of clothing.
In the kitchen, dishes filled the sink, breakfast food was
spilled on the counter, the fridge door was open wide, dog
food was spilled on the floor, a broken glass lay under the
table, and a small pile of sand was spread by the back door.
He quickly headed up the stairs, stepping over toys
and more piles of clothes, looking for his wife.
He was worried she might be ill, or that
something serious had happened. He was
met with a small trickle of water as it made it’s
way out the bathroom door. As he peered
inside he found wet towels, scummy soap and
more toys strewn over the floor.
Miles of toilet paper lay in a heap and
toothpaste had been smeared over the mirror
and walls. As he rushed to the bedroom, he
found his wife still curled up in the bed in her
pajamas, reading a novel. She looked up at
him, smiled, and asked how his day went.
He looked at her bewildered and asked,
“What happened here today?” She again
smiled and answered, “You know every
day when you come home from work
and you ask me what in the world I do
all day?” “Yes” was his incredulous
reply.
She answered, “Well, today I didn’t do
it.”
A man and his wife were having some problems at home
and were giving each other the silent treatment.
Suddenly, the man realized that the next day, he would
need his wife to wake him at 5:00 AM for an early
morning business flight. Not wanting to be the first to
break the silence (and LOSE), he wrote on a piece of
paper, “Please wake me at 5:00 AM.”
He left it where he knew she would find it. The next
morning, the man woke up, only to discover it was 9:00
AM and he had missed his flight. Furious, he was about
to go and see why his wife hadn’t woke him, when he
noticed a piece of paper by the bed. The paper said, “It is
5:00 AM. Wake up.”
(Men are not equipped for these kinds of contests)
(A MAN’S PERSPECTIVE)
I know I’m not going to understand women. I’ll
never understand how you can take boiling hot wax,
pour it onto your upper thigh, rip the hair out by the
root, and still be afraid of a spider.
WORDS
A husband read an article to his wife about how
many words women use a day… 30,000 to a man’s
15,000. The wife replied, “The reason has to be
because we have to repeat everything to men… The
husband then turned to his wife and said, “What?”
Moses 3:17-25
Thou mayest choose for thyself.
It was not good that the man should be alone.
Help meet
(equal but opposite)
Rib
(not front or back – side by side)
Therefore shall a man leave his father and mother,
and shall cleave unto his wife.
Cut the strings!
“The woman was made of a rib out of the side
of Adam; not made out of his head to rule over
him, nor out of his feet to be trampled upon by
him, but out of his side to be equal with him,
under his arm to be protected, and near his
heart to be beloved” (Matthew Henry, Matthew
Henry's Commentary on the Whole Bible: Complete
and Unabridged in One Volume).
Women want to be equal with their husband,
but also want to feel protected and loved!
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
Take the time to be at the crossroads when children are
coming and going.
Take time to be a real friend. Listen, talk, laugh, joke,
play, praise, cry with children; spend one on one time
with each child.
Take time to read to your children, including the
scriptures and good literature.
Take time to pray with your children, morning and
night.
Take time to have a meaningful weekly family home
evening. Let children be actively involved. Joseph F.
Smith promised that love at home, obedience to parents,
and the faith and power to combat evil and temptation
will result if parents have FHE.
6. Take time to be together at mealtime. Talk and share
and teach each other.
7. Take time to daily read scriptures as a family. Personal
scripture study is important, but family scripture study
is vital. Especially read the Book of Mormon.
8. Take time to do things together. Vacations, birthdays, or
any events in which a member of the family is involved.
Attend Church together. Sit together. Pray and play
together.
9. Take time to teach your children throughout the day.
“Mothers, you are your children’s best teacher. Don’t
shift the responsibility to day care centers or
babysitters.” Teach Gospel principles. Teach the evils of
pornography and drugs. “To save and exalt your
children requires teaching all the time.”
10. Take time to love your children. The key to overcoming
the generation gap is love. Teenagers need love,
attention, and empathy, not indulgence.
President Heber J. Grant said:
“It is [the women of the Church] who carry
the burden of the work…It is the mothers
who stand the hardships far more than men.
Men are engaged in many activities, and
without the devotion and absolute
testimony of the living God in the hearts of
our mothers this Church would die” (Gospel
Standards, 151).
Elder James E. Faust said:
“The Lord values his daughters
just as much as he does his sons.
In marriage, neither is superior;
each has a different primary and
divine responsibility”(Ensign,
Nov. 1993, 38-39).
President Spencer W. Kimball prophesied:
“Much of the major growth that is coming to the
Church in the last days will come because many of
the good women of the world (in whom there is
often such an inner sense of spirituality) will be
drawn to the Church in large numbers. This will
happen to the degree that the women of the
Church reflect righteousness and articulateness in
their lives and to the degree that the women of the
world” (Ensign, Nov. 1979, 103-04).
President Benson said: “Before the
world was created, in heavenly
councils the pattern and role of
women were prescribed. You were
elected by God to be wives and
mothers in Zion. Exaltation in the
celestial kingdom is predicated on
faithfulness to that calling”
(Teachings of Ezra Taft Benson, 546).
President N. Eldon Tanner said,
“Women, you are of great strength and
support to the men in your lives, and
they sometimes need your help most
when they are least deserving. A man
can have no greater incentive, no greater
hope, no greater strength than to know
his mother, his sweetheart, or his wife has
confidence in him and loves him. And
men should strive to live worthy of that
love and confidence” (Ensign, Jan. 1974, 8).
Elder Neal A. Maxwell said, "We know so little.
..about the reasons for the division of duties between
womanhood and manhood [and].. Motherhood and
priesthood. These were divinely determined in
another time and another place…[by divine
design]…” (Women of God, Ensign, May 1978, 1011).
President Benson said, “Before the world was
created, in heavenly councils the pattern and
role of women were prescribed. You were
elected by God to be wives and mothers in
Zion. Exaltation in the celestial kingdom is
predicated on faithfulness to that calling”
(Teachings of Ezra Taft Benson, 546).
“No other success can compensate for
failure in the home. The poorest shack in
which love prevails over a united family
is of greater value to God and future
humanity than any other riches. In such
a home God can work miracles and will
work miracles” (Conference Report, April
1964, 5).
“The most important of the Lord’s
work that you will ever do will be
the work you do within the walls of
your own home. Home teaching,
bishopric’s work, and other Church
duties are all important, but the most
important work is within the walls
of your home”(Stand Ye in Holy Places,
255).
President Benson said,
“Love your wives…nothing except God Himself takes
priority over your wife in your life, not work, not recreation,
no hobbies…Surely when you love your wife with all your
heart, you cannot demean her, criticize her, find fault with
her, or abuse her by words, sullen behavior, or actions…Love
means being sensitive to her feelings and needs. She wants to
be noticed and treasured. She wants to be told that you view
her as lovely and attractive and important to you. Love
means putting her welfare and self-esteem as a high priority
in your life… Husband’s, recognize your wife’s intelligence
and her ability to counsel with you…Give her the opportunity
to grow intellectually, emotionally, and socially as well as
spiritually. Remember, brethren, love can be nurtured and
nourished by little tokens. Flowers on special occasions are
wonderful, but so is your willingness to help with the dishes,
change diapers, get up with a crying child in the night, and
leave the television or the newspaper to help with the dinner”
(To the Fathers in Israel).
“Fathers, yours is an eternal calling from
which you are never released…Callings
in the Church, as important as they are,
by their very nature are only for a period
of time, and then an appropriate release
takes place. But a father’s calling is
eternal, and its importance transcends
time. It is a calling for both time and
eternity” (“To the Fathers in Israel,”
Ensign, No. 1987, 48).
President Hunter said that a father has responsibility to
teach, train, and discipline the children. This should be
done in regular family home evenings, family scripture
study, family prayer, and by attending church as a
family. In March, 1980 the First Presidency announced
the consolidated meeting schedule for the United States
and Canada. President Ezra Taft Benson suggested that
“the consolidated Sunday meeting schedule (was)
implemented to give fathers more time on the Sabbath to
teach their children…Blessed is the household that doest
this on a consistent basis” (Ensign, May 1981, 36) “…your
greatest influences with your (children) will be your
example. If you want your (children) to see what the
gospel will do for them, let them see what it has done for
you” (Ensign, May 1985, 36) “…Great fathers lead their
children to Christ” (Ensign, May 1981, 36) “…you have a
sacred responsibility to provide spiritual leadership in
your family”(Ensign, Nov. 1987, 48).
The Role of Men within the Plan of
Salvation
1. He regards marriage as a sacred privilege and
obligation that should not be “unduly” postponed.
2. He understands that it is not good for man to be alone,
that man is not complete without the woman.
3. He believes that marriage is ordained of God and that
only through the new and everlasting covenant of
marriage can either a man or a woman realize the
fullness of eternal blessings.
4. He understands his wife is to be pre-eminent in his life
and that no other interest or person or thing should
ever take precedence over her.
5. He has reverence and respect for
motherhood and expresses it often.
6. He honors his wife’s role of motherhood by
being willing to be a father.
7. He regards the family as ordained of God
and his leadership of that family as his most
important and sacred responsibility.
8. He accepts the doctrine that women and
children have claim upon him for their
maintenance.
Joseph F. Smith Counseled Fathers:
“If you wish your children to love the truth
and understand it..to be obedient to and
united with you, love them!...When you speak
or talk to them, do it not in anger, do it not
harshly, in a condemning spirit. Speak to
them kindly; get down and weep with them if
necessary and get them to shed tears with you
if possible. Soften their hearts…Use no lash
and no violence…approach them with reason,
with persuasion and love unfeigned…You
can’t do it any other way” (Gospel Doctrine,
316).
Righteous fathers preside over their homes in the same
way Christ presided over the Church.
President Ezra Taft Benson Explained:
“The Apostle Paul points out that the husband is the
head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the
Church (Ephesians 5:23) That is the model we are to
follow in our role of presiding in the home. We do not
find the savior leading the Church with a harsh or
unkind hand. We do not find the Savior treating His
Church with disrespect or neglect. We do not find the
Savior using force or coercion to accomplish His
purposes. No where do we find anything but that
which edifies, uplifts, comforts, and exalts the Church.
Brethren, I say to you with all soberness, His is the
model we must follow as we take the spiritual lead in
our families (“To the Fathers in Israel”).
As taught by living prophets, a man has three
foreordained roles, First, to preside; second, to
provide; and third, to protect.
PRESIDE:
From the beginning of this earth’s existence, the
pattern was divinely established that the father is
to be the Head of the home and family. To Adam,
the Lord said ”I have set thee to be at the head..”
(D&C 107:55). To Eve He said “thy desire shall be
to they husband, and he shall rule over thee”
(Moses 4:22). President Spencer W. Kimball said
that the word “rule” in this scripture means
“preside” (Teachings of Spencer W. Kimball, 316).
Presiding in Righteousness
1. He presides righteously by sharing, as a loving
partner, the care of the children and the upkeep of
the home. He helps to teach, train, and discipline
his children.
2. He presides righteously by giving his family both
quantity and quality time.
3. He presides righteously by accepting his wife as an
equal partner in the leadership of the home with
full knowledge and participation in decisions.
Together they determine the spiritual climate of
the home.
4. He presides righteously by earning the respect and
confidence of his children by performing
appropriate priesthood ordinances and giving
blessings to his family.
5. He presides righteously by securing and honoring
his priesthood and temple covenants and
encouraging his family to do the same.
6. He presides righteously by teaching the gospel to
his family through family home evening, family
prayer, family scripture study, and other teaching
opportunities. He gives particular emphasis, in his
teaching, to missions and temple marriage.
Elder Dean L. Larsen illustrated the inappropriate
way that some men have attempted to preside over
their family:
“Recently I was visited in my office by a young
woman at whose forthcoming temple marriage I had
been invited to officiate. She was distraught and
tearful and disclosed that she had some serious
questions about whether she should go ahead with
the marriage. As we discussed the reasons for these
questions, the young prospective bride told me of a
conversation she had the previous evening with her
fiancé.
“In a fashion uncharacteristic of their relationship, he
had, at the insistence of his father, he said, laid down
the law and the conditions that would have to
prevail in their marriage. He was to be the
unquestioned authority. His word would be law.
She was to be willing to submit to his rule…It was
interesting to me that this young man, who had won
the hand and the heart of his sweetheart through a
loving and gentle courtship, now was constrained to
impose a strict dominion upon her. In so doing he
was appealing to his misunderstanding of the
patriarchal order, for there could hardly have been a
greater distortion or misrepresentation of the actual
conditions that must prevail within that order”
(Ensign, Sep. 1982, 6).
President David O. McKay concluded
that “love pretended has no influence.
Love unfeigned always has the power to
reach the heart” (Gospel Ideals, 150).
President Kimball taught that fathers
should preside “in love, in service, in
tenderness, and in example,” (Ensign,
May 1976, 45) and that “The husband is
head of the family only insofar as he
sacrifices for the family” (TSWK, 316).
Providing for our Families
1.
A man provides for his family by accepting
responsibility to temporally [and spiritually] provide
for his wife and children.
2.
A man provides for his family by not encouraging or
insisting that his wife work outside the home for
convenience sake.
3.
A man provides for his family by doing all in his
power to allow his wife to remain in the home,
caring for the children while he provides for the
family as best as he can.
President Benson said:
“In a home where there is an able-bodied
husband, he is expected to be the breadwinner.
Sometimes we hear of husbands who, because of
economic conditions, have lost their jobs and
expect the wives to go out of the home and work,
even though the husband is still capable of
providing for his family. In these cases, we urge
the husband to do all in his power to allow his wife
to remain in the home caring for the children while
he continues to provide for his family the best he
can, even though the job he is able to secure may
not be ideal and family budgeting may have to be
tighter…
President Hunter said,
“A man should neither insist nor
encourage his wife to work outside
the home for convenience sake.
Rather, he should do everything in
his power to let her remain in the
home, caring for the children while
he provides for the family as best as
he can.
“Another vital aspect of providing for
the material needs of your family is the
provision you should be making or your
family in case of an emergency…have
you provided for your family a year’s
supply of food, clothing, and where
possible, fuel?...Are you living within
your income and saving a little? Are you
honest with the Lord in the payment of
your tithes?...” (“To the Fathers in Israel”).
President Spencer W. Kimball said,
“I like to think of providing for our
[wives and children] as including
providing them with affectional security
as well as economic security...[we have
an] obligation to maintain loving
affection and to provide consideration
and thoughtfulness as well as food”
(Conference Report, Oct. 1978, 62-63).
PROTECTING OUR WIVES AND
CHILDREN:
1.
A man protects by showing perfect moral fidelity to his
wife, and is free from “pornography, flirtations, and
unwholesome fantasies.”
2.
A man protects by valuing his relationship with his wife
above all other interests.
3.
A man protects by bringing his children up in light and
truth. He leads his family in church participation so that
they will know the gospel and be under the protection of
its covenants and ordinances.
4.
A man protects by showing his wife reverence, respect
and love.
5. A man protects by acting with tenderness and
respect and keeping himself above any domineering,
selfish, or unworthy behavior in his intimate
relationship with his wife.
6. A man protects by never being abusive with his wife
or children.
7. A man protects by giving his time and presence at
his children’s social, educational, spiritual activities
and responsibilities.
8. A man protects by giving tender expressions of love
and affection to his children.
President Hunter suggested that men protect
their wives by showing perfect moral fidelity
to his wife, and by being free from
“pornography, flirtations, and unwholesome
fantasies;” by valuing his relationship with his
wife above all other interests; by showing
reverence, respect, and love for his wife. He
said “ You should express regularly to your
wife and children your reverence and respect
for her. Indeed, one of the greatest things a
father can do for his children is to love their
mother” (“Being a Righteous Husband and
Father”).
President Hunter said that a man protects his wife by
acting with tenderness and respect and keeping
himself above any domineering, selfish, or unworthy
behavior in his intimate relationship with his wife.
He said: “Tenderness and respect– never selfishness
– must be the guiding principles in the intimate
relationship between husband and wife. Each
partner must be considerate and sensitive to the
other’s needs and desires. Any domineering,
indecent, or uncontrolled behavior in the intimate
relationship between husband and wife is
condemned by the Lord” (“Being a Righteous Husband
and Father”).
President Hunter said:
“Any man who abuses or demeans his wife
physically or spiritually is guilty of grievous
sin and is in need of sincere and serious
repentance… You who hold the priesthood
must not be abusive in your relationship with
children. Seek always to employ the
principles [of righteousness] set forth in the
revelations..No man who has been ordained to
the priesthood can with impunity abuse his
wife or child” (“Being a righteous Husband and
Father”).
President Gordon B. Hinckley said:
“No man who engages in such evil unbecoming
behavior is worthy of the Priesthood of God. No
man who so conducts himself undeserving of the
love of their wives and children. There are children
who fear their fathers, and wives who fear their
husbands. If there be any such men within the
hearing of my voice, as a servant of the Lord I rebuke
you and call you to repentance” (“Women of the
Church,” Ensign, Nov. 1996, 68).
“I had a father who was
gently beneath his firmness,
and a mother who was firm
beneath her gentleness”
(Quoted in “That My Family
Should Partake,” by Neal
Maxwell, 56).
“One marked illustration of his character was his love for
children. He never saw a child but he desired to take it up
and bless it and many he did so bless, taking them in his arms
and upon his knee. He was so fond of children that he would
go far out of his way to speak to a little one, which is to me a
striking characteristic of true manhood” (Joseph F. Smith,
Gospel Doctrine, 489).
“Joseph
sorrowed over his loss of a newborn child. Seeing a
neighbor, tired and fatigued by the constant care required by her
own child, Joseph asked permission to relieve her by caring for the
child during the day, and then returning the baby to her mother at
night. An older sister of the baby, Margarette McIntire, later
reported: ‘One evening he did not come [home] with [the child] at
the usual time, and mother went down to the Mansion to see what
was the matter, and there sat the Prophet with the baby wrapped
up in a little silk quilt. He was trotting [or bouncing] it on his knee,
and singing to it to get it quiet before starting out” (Ensign, Jan.
1971, 36-37).
Joseph saw a little girl and her brother
struggling to make their way through the
deep mud on their way to school. The little
girl later reported: “The Prophet Joseph
Smith stooped down and cleaned the mud
from our little heavy-laden shoes, took his
handkerchief from his pocket, and wiped
our tear-stained faces. He spoke kind and
cheering words to us, and sent us on our
way to school rejoicing” (Juvenile Instructor, 15
Jan. 1892, 67).
A couple drove down a country road
for several miles, not saying a word. An
earlier discussion had led to an
argument and neither of them wanted
to concede their position. As they
passed a barnyard of mules, goats, and
pigs, the husband asked sarcastically,
“Relatives of yours?”
“Yep,” the wife replied, “in-laws.”
“Cash, check or charge?” I asked, after folding
items the woman wished to purchase. As she
fumbled for her wallet I noticed a remote
control for a television set in her purse. “So,
do you always carry your TV remote?” I
asked. “No,” she replied, “but my husband
refused to come shopping with me, and I
figured this was the most evil thing I could do
to him legally.”
A man and his wife were having an argument about
who should brew the coffee each morning. The wife
said, “You should do it, because you get up first, and
then we don’t have to wait as long to get our coffee.”
The husband said, “You are in charge of cooking
around here and you should do it, because that is
your job, and I just can’t wait for my coffee.”
His wife replied, “No, you should do it, and besides,
it is in the Bible that the man should do the coffee.”
The husband replied, “I can’t believe
that, show me.”
She fetched the Bible, and opened the
New Testament and showed him at the
top of several pages, that it indeed
said……. “HEBREWS.”
God may have created man before
woman, but there is always a rough draft
before the masterpiece.