Stadium High School
th
11 Grade Junior
English
st
1 Semester
Mr. Horn
2
Teacher: Mr. Horn
Room: 215
Phone: 571-3175
Email: shorn@tacoma.k12.wa.us
Class Website:
http://classrooms.tacoma.k12.wa.us/stadium/sho
rn
Students and parents should check the
classroom website frequently. Homework is
posted there, as well as copies of many
documents given out in class and other
important classroom announcements. There is
also a link for checking student’s grades online.
I will be sending home emails once the year gets
going to keep parents informed of what’s going
on in the classroom
Course Description:
Junior College Prep English is a course in Language, Literature and Composition that will
engage, enthuse and encourage students to meet their own personal academic goals. This
course entails multiple texts that will require close reading and analysis as well as reflection
through guided composition. Along with short answer analysis, students will publish
multiple essays such as a personal narrative, research essay, compare/contrast essay and
various literary analysis essays. Each student will be EXPECTED to put forth their best
effort and will be given the tools to do so in this academic setting.
College in the High School:
Through Central WA University, offered second semester
Free running start college credit in the high school
Focusses on non-fiction reading and responding, rhetoric, and synthesis/research
To qualify:
Score a 50 or above on the PSAT Writing
Or, get a C+ or better 1st semester in English
Grades:

This class is split 70/30

70% of your grade is based on
Portfolio work. This includes work related
to essays and summative assignments
A: 94-100
B: 83-87
C: 73-77
E: Below 60
A-: 90-93
B-: 80-82
C-: 70-72

30% of your grade is based on
Performance. This includes formative
work such as classwork, homework, and
comprehension quizzes.
B+: 88-89
C+: 78-79
D: 60-69
3
Outcomes for Writing:
(Adapted from University of Washington expository writing outcomes. Symbols in red
are from Common Core Writing Standards)
1. Produce clear and coherent writing in which the development, organization, and style
are appropriate to task, purpose, and audience.
 The writer is able to demonstrate the ability to write for different purposes (informative,
argumentative, analytical, narrative) CCR1-4
 The writing has a clear and logical organization that: introduces a topic, supports the topic
with appropriate evidence, analysis, and elaboration, and concludes with a section that
follows from and supports the topic while also discussing its greater significance. CCR
1(a,b,e) 2(a,b,f) 3(a,b,c,e)
 The writing has a clear understanding of its audience and uses style, tone, structure,
conventions, sentences, and word choice appropriate to the demands of a particular task and
purpose. CCR 1(c,d) 2(c,d,e) 3(d)
 The writer understands and evaluates the effects of their writing choices CCR 5
2. To read, analyze, and synthesize texts and incorporate multiple kinds of evidence to
support writing.
 The writing demonstrates an understanding of the course texts
 The writer is able to utilize multiple kinds of evidence gathered from various sources
(print and digital) to support writing. CCR 1(b), 2(b), 6-9
 Course texts are used in appropriate and varied ways (for example: summarized, cited,
applied, challenged, etc.) to support the writing. CCR 1(b), 2(b), 9
 The writer demonstrates effective use of MLA format when citing sources. CCR 6,9
 The writing is intertextual, where the author is having a conversation between texts and
ideas CCR 7
3. To develop strategies for revising, editing, and proofreading writing. CCR 5
 The writing demonstrates substantial and successful revision based on peer and selffeedback.
 Errors of grammar, punctuation, and mechanics are proofread and edited so as not to
interfere with reading and understanding the writing.
 The writer will reflect on the effectiveness the writing and set goals for improvement
4. To produce complex, analytic, persuasive arguments that matter in academic
contexts
 The argument is appropriately complex CCR 1(a), 1 (b)
 The stakes of the argument, why it matters, is clearly stated and persuasive CCR 1(a), 1
(b)
 The argument involves analyzing evidence and assumptions in support of a larger set of
ideas CCR 8
 The arguments is persuasive, taking into account counterclaims and multiple points of
view as it generates its own perspective and position CCR 1(a), 1 (b)
 The argument utilizes a clear organizational strategy and effective transitions CCR 9
4
Some Class Notes:
Behavior: Excellent behavior is expected in this class. On the third verbal warning given in class,
students will be assigned detention and I will also make a phone call or send an email home. The first
detention will be scheduled with me for during lunch or after school, and others following may be
dealt with through the main office.
Late Work: Homework that is one day late is marked down 50% and after one day late it is not
accepted. Essays one day late are marked down 30%, two days late 50%, and later than two days will
not be accepted. Computer, printer, or e-mail problems are not acceptable reasons for late work;
in order to avoid technology woes, you must back up your work so it can be turned in on time.
Tardies, absences and make-up work: Tardies are unacceptable. For the first three tardies you will
be assigned detention, after that you will receive office referrals. You are expected to be in class on
time, ready to work with the proper materials (planner, binder, pen, paper and completed
assignments). You are tardy if you have to retrieve any forgotten items.
A tardy is:

Coming to class after the bell has rung and not having a note from a staff member.

Have to leave class to get a re-entry

Forgetting your textbook, paper, pen, or assignment, or have to leave the room to go get the
item.

Not participating in the daily entry task which begins immediately after the bell has rung.
Excused absences:

An excused absence entitles a student make up missed work.

When returning from an excused absence, work assigned prior to the absence, which was due
during the absence, is due the day of return.

Assignments missed during an absence must be made up within three school days of
returning.
Unexcused absences:

Result in a failing grade for missed work.
If a student misses 12 or more days in a single semester, excused or not, they may receive a
failing grade
Cheating:
*The Stadium High School cheating policy will be strictly enforced.
*Cheating of any kind will not be tolerated and could result in a failing grade for the course.
Note on Controversial Literature:
Some of the literature we read in class may have mature themes, including language, violence and
some minor sexual content. Please contact the instructor immediately if you have any questions or
concerns about this. Your signature below will signify consent as to your student’s participation in
reading controversial literature in the classroom.
Note on Videos:
We will be watching a few video clips which may include mild thematic content. Please contact the
instructor immediately if you have any concerns or questions. Your signature below will signify
consent as to your student’s participation in watching videos in the classroom
5
Unit Guide
Unit A: American Literature
Content: The Great Gatsby by F. Scott Fitzgerald
Goals: Introduce students to post WWI and pre-Great Depression culture and values and
how they impact our culture.
Read complex text for literary appreciation.
Introduce advanced vocabulary skills.
Composition: Essay of Literary Analysis
Unit B: The Social Protest Movement
Content: One Flew over the Cuckoo’s Nest by Ken Kesey
Goals: Presenting coherent arguments
Addressing opposing viewpoints
Composition and Outcomes: Essay of Literary Analysis
Unit C: American Literature
Content: Black Boy by Richard Wright
Goals: Examination of segregation, loneliness and how these issues can be related to
modern culture.
Analysis of author intent.
Composition:
Essay of Literary Analysis
Unit D: The Influence of Early American Writings or American Drama Post WWII
(Depends on Time)
Content:
The Crucible by Arthur Miller or A Raisin in the Sun by Lorraine Hansberry
Goals: Introduce students to early American writings, historical documents, sources,
religious and cultural values.
Students will develop skills in using various rhetorical devices including but not
limited to: Speaker, Occasion, Purpose, Audience, Subject, and Tone.
Or, Introduce students to complex race relations and texts.
Composition: Shaping an argument, Essay of Comparison and Contrast
6
Assignment Sheets (please note these may change over time)
Great Gatsby Final Essay
Final essay topic:
Pick one of the essential questions and answer it based on the events in The Great Gatsby
Essential questions:

What is Fitzgerald saying about the American Dream in this novel (make sure
you define the American Dream in your introduction)

Is what Gatsby feels for Daisy love, obsession, affection, or
accumulation/objectification?

Discuss Gatsby’s character throughout the novel. What makes him “great?” Is
he heroic or foolish?

Discuss the novel’s theme that outward appearances can be deceptive.
Outstanding Essays Will:

Have a clear thesis that answers one of the essential question and gives us a hint as to
what sort of evidence we can expect in the rest of the essay

Use clear and convincing textual evidence correctly

Clearly analyzes rather than summarizes the events of the novel
This Essay Should Include:

An attention grabber

Background on the plot of the novel

A thesis that answers an essential question and outlines what sort of evidence we’ll
see in the rest of the essay

Multiple body paragraphs that include
o
Topic sentences
o
Evidence
o
Commentary
o
Transitions
A conclusion that restates the main points and relates them to a larger insightful point about
the world or humanity in general
Step 1: Prewrite: 10 points
Step 2: Outline: 25 points
Step 3: Draft with editing marks: 30 points
Step 4: Final Draft: 180 Points (see rubric)
7
One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest Final Essay
Final essay topic:
Respond to the following prompt based on the events in One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s
Nest
Essential questions:
Both Randle Patrick McMurphy and Nurse Ratched have very manipulative and powerful
personalities in Ken Kesey’s One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest. How do two or three
characters in the novel suffer or improve due to these strong and aggressive personalities?
Outstanding Essays Will:

Have a clear thesis that clearly responds to the prompt and gives us a hint as to
what sort of evidence we can expect in the rest of the essay

Use clear and convincing textual evidence correctly

Clearly analyzes rather than summarizes the events of the novel
This Essay Should Include:

An attention grabber

Background on the plot of the novel

A thesis that answers an essential question and outlines what sort of evidence
we’ll see in the rest of the essay

Multiple body paragraphs that include
o
Topic sentences
o
Evidence
o
Commentary
o
Transitions

A conclusion that restates the main points and relates them to a larger insightful
point about the world or humanity in general

Step 1: Prewrite: 10 points

Step 2: Outline: 25 points

Step 3: Draft with editing marks: 30 points

Step 4: Final Draft: 180 Points (see rubric)
8
Black Boy Final Essay
Final essay topic:
Pick one of the essential questions and answer it based on the events in Black Boy
Essential questions:

Describe the evolution of Richard’s attitude toward white people. At what points
do we detect a shift in his attitude?

What role does hunger play in the autobiography? How does Richard view hunger
at the end of the novel? Has his attitude changed?

Explain how Richard’s intellect is an advantage and disadvantage as he goes
through life.
Outstanding Essays Will:

Have a clear thesis that answers one of the essential question and gives us a hint
as to what sort of evidence we can expect in the rest of the essay

Use clear and convincing textual evidence correctly

Clearly analyzes rather than summarizes the events of the novel
This Essay Should Include:

An attention grabber

Background on the plot of the novel

A thesis that answers an essential question and outlines what sort of evidence
we’ll see in the rest of the essay

Multiple body paragraphs that include
o
Topic sentences
o
Evidence
o
Commentary
o
Transitions

A conclusion that restates the main points and relates them to a larger insightful
point about the world or humanity in general

Step 1: Prewrite: 10 points

Step 2: Outline: 25 points

Step 3: Draft with editing marks: 30 points

Step 4: Final Draft: 180 Points (see rubric)
9
Crucible or A Raisin in the Sun Final Compare and Contrast Essay
Final essay topic:
Pick one character from the play, and a character from any of the novels we have read so
far (Great Gatsby, Cuckoo’s Nest, or Black Boy). These characters should have
significant differences but also some striking similarity. Write a compare and contrast
essay between the characters, focusing on what is similar and different about them. What
can we learn about each character by looking at them side by side? How are their
situations similar or different? How would they react if their situations were reversed?
Outstanding Essays Will:

Have a clear thesis that clearly states which characters from which stories are
being compared, and clearly states at least one insightful similarity and difference (avoid
stereotyping them when you describe them. Think deeply and go beyond the obvious)

Use clear and convincing textual evidence correctly (you’ll need the title of the
work and the page number for this)

Clearly analyze the characters rather than summarize their stories
This Essay Should Include:

An attention grabber

Background on the plots of the stories

A thesis (see above)

Multiple body paragraphs that include
o
Topic sentences
o
Evidence
o
Commentary
o
Transitions

A conclusion that restates the main points and relates them to a larger insightful
point about the world or humanity in general

Step 1: Prewrite: 10 points

Step 2: Outline: 25 points

Step 3: Draft with editing marks: 30 points

Step 4: Final Draft: 180 Points (see rubric)
10
Rubric (Based on Writing Outcomes identified above)
Element
Introduction
Thesis
Body
Conclusion
Evidence
CD
10 Exceeds

Engaging
introduction provides
sufficient background for a
clear, insightful thesis

This is clear and
insightful, on topic, 1-2
sentences, analysis not
summary, and includes an
outline of the essay

Organization is
clear, effective, and
compelling

Transitions as well
as topic and closing
sentences skillfully guide the
reader

A satisfying
conclusion provides the
reader with a sense of closure
(“so what”)

Thesis is wellsupported with detailed and
specific evidence from the
text, including lead ins and
page numbers
Analysis
CM

Insightful
commentary supports the
thesis and explains/analyzes
the evidence
Sentence
Fluency/
Conventions

The writing has an
easy flow, rhythm, and
cadence

Grammatically
correct sentences
consistently vary in length as
well as structure

Little, if any, editing
is needed

Spelling,
punctuation, and grammar
usage are correct and
contribute to clarity and style
Tone /Word
Choice

Word choice is
consistently appropriate for
audience and purpose.

There is a strong
sense of the “person behind
the words”
8 Meets

Introduction
provides sufficient
background for a clear
thesis statement

This is
somewhat clear and
insightful, on topic, 1-2
sentences, analysis not
summary, and includes an
outline of the essay

Organization is
clear

Transitions as
well as topic and closing
sentences guide the reader

A conclusion
provides the reader with a
sense of closure (“so
what”)

Thesis is
adequately supported with
accurate evidence from the
text

Some evidence
may lack detail at times,
lead in may be unclear, but
includes page number

Commentary
goes beyond the obvious
to explain/ analyze the
evidence.

CM supports the
thesis

The writing has
an easy flow.

Grammatically
correct sentences often
vary in length as well as
structure

Light editing is
needed

Spelling,
punctuation, and grammar
are correct and make the
meaning clear.

Word choice is
often appropriate for
audience and purpose.

There is a
somewhat clear sense of
the “person behind the
words”
4 Approaches

Introduction
provides some background
for a clear thesis statement
2 Below

Introduction does not
provide enough background and the
thesis statement is not clear

This is somewhat
vague or lacks insight, on
topic, analysis not summary,
and includes at least a
partial outline of the essay

Thesis is unclear or
summary

Organization
shows some logic

Topic and closing
sentences are generally
used but the transition
phrases are used
infrequently

The conclusion
summarizes the discussion
but does not provide further
sense of closure (“so what”)

Thesis is almost
fully supported with
accurate evidence.

Most evidence is
vague or lacks detail

Limited or missing
use of lead ins, page
numbers

Organization shows some
logic but does not flow consistently

Topic and closing
sentences and transitions are rarely
used

Commentary
does not quite fully explain/
analyze the evidence but it
does support the thesis and
stays on topic

Limited commentary does
not explain/analyze the evidence.

CM does not support the
thesis or stay on topic

The writing has a
predictable flow

The sentences
are usually structured
correctly but fall into a
predictable pattern

Some editing is
still needed but editing/
revision is evident

Spelling,
punctuation, grammar are
generally
correct/appropriate and do
not interfere with readability

Word choice is
often correct/appropriate for
topic and audience but
interferes with tone

There is very little
sense of “the person behind
the words”

The writing does not
consistently flow

Sentences are frequently
choppy, incomplete, awkward, or
rambling

Moderate editing needed

Spelling, punctuation,
grammar, and word choice interfere
with proper tone and readability
Formatting, double spaced, header, etc. 10 points
Final Draft Essay Score:
/90, times 2 =
/180

The conclusion
inadequately summarizes the paper
and/or introduces new material

Thesis is not fully supported
with evidence

Most evidence is either
missing or vague.

Word choice interfere with
proper tone and readability

There is no sense of
personal voice.
11
Sample MLA Format
Hernandez 1
Felix Hernandez
Mr. Grevstad
American Literature
12 March 2013
Title Is Centered and Is Not Bold
The MLA format for writing essays makes it very convenient to write and
organize your essay. The entire document is written in Times New Roman, 12-point
font. Likewise the entire document is double-spaced. Remember, these simple rules and
organizing and typing your essay will be very easy.
When starting a new paragraph simply hit the “tab’ key to indent all paragraphs.
Do not hit “enter” twice when starting a new paragraph, as this will create a four-space
break between paragraphs. Also, remember to put your last name and page number in a
header in the upper right hand corner of the first page. By doing this, your name and
page number will be on each page of the essay. Also, follow the heading on the left
exactly, especially the date.
Writing Parenthetical Citations: If there is a name/author on your works cited page
you must use the name in your parenthetical citation. If there is no author, use the
title of the article in quotation marks.
Use paragraph number if there is no page number.
- Example of citation when using a direct quote.
Ken Griffey’s days with the Seattle Mariners were numbered after he requested a trade to
the Cincinnati Reds. An excited Griffey said, "This is something I dreamed about as a
12
little kid, being back in my hometown where I watched so many great players" (Stone 3).
As a result of the trade, Griffey was able to play for the team that made his father famous.
- Example of citation when a when using a summary or a paraphrase with no
author, no page numbers. In this case, cite the paragraph number.
Ken Griffey’s days with the Seattle Mariners were numbered after he requested a trade to
the Cincinnati Reds. Griffey had been dreaming about playing for his hometown team
since he was a child (“Griffey Goes Home” par. 6). As a result of the trade, Griffey was
able to play for the team that made his father famous.
-When citing a novel:
Include a lead in, context, and page number. Blend the quote into a sentence. For
example, in The Cat in the Hat, although the narrator and his sister Sally are unsure about
what to do, they decide to “shake hands with Thing One and Thing Two” (34).
See below for more tips
13
Sample Student Essay
Costanza 1
George Costanza
Mr. Horn
Sophomore English
27 April 2015
Was Othello a Good Man?
Have you ever been backstabbed by your best friend? That’s exactly what happens in
Shakespeare’s tragedy “Othello.” So what goes down is Moor named Othello wins over a
beautiful and loving girl name Desdemona. The play takes place in Italy starting in
Venice but it mainly takes place in Cyprus. Iago, Othello’s most trusted friend, schemes
up a plan to get Othello to hate Desdemona and make him jealous. He succeeds and
Othello kills Desdemona thinking she cheated on him with an old friend of his, Cassio.
Othello finds out that Iago had done all of this and kills himself, and finally Iago is
tortured to death. Othello is not a good man because he didn’t investigate Iago’s claims
for himself and because of how he treated his wife.
Othello was tricked by Iago who he thought to be most honest, by telling him
Cassio had been sleeping with his wife. Cassio is one of Othello’s old friend and he never
once asked him if he had defiled his wife. I wouldn’t believe that an old friend would do
this to me and if I did, I would have something to say about it. A good man would talk to
the man he believed to be sleeping with his wife. Othello then orders Iago, “Within these
three days let me hear thee say that Cassio’s not alive” (III.iii.70). Just from what Iago
has told him, he orders Cassio killed and never talked to him about it. A good man
wouldn’t kill someone who was suspected to sleep with their wife they would confront
14
them, instead he orders someone else to do it. A good man would have handled the
situation differently.
Othello didn’t treat his wife the way a good man would. He never asked her if she
was cheating or if anything was true and made her wonder why he was mad, “Desd:
Why, Sweet Othello? Othello: Devil! [Strikes her] Desd: I have not deserved this”
(IV.i.254). A good man puts trust in his wife and talk about her relations with Cassio.
Slapping your wife is wrong, and if he were a good man he would know that. Then his
final actions proved him to not be a good man “Othello: It is too late [He smothers her]”
(V.ii.100). What good guy kills his wife! Othello ended his wife’s life because he was
convinced she had cheated on him. Are these the actions of a good man?
Othello is not a good man. He listened only to his best friend and didn’t bother to
ask his old friend or wife. Although he was manipulated by his best friend, a good guy
wouldn’t have done what he did. He ends up trying to kill Cassio and killing his wife,
Desdemona. It shows that no matter how much you trust someone you need to make up
your own mind and investigate things for yourself.
15
Thesis Tips (adapted from http://lrc.sierracollege.edu/writingcenter/basictipslit.pdf)
1. Write in the present tense.
EXAMPLE: In Faulkner's "A Rose for Emily," the townspeople visit Emily Grierson's
house because it smells bad.
NOT: In Faulkner's "A Rose for Emily," the townspeople visited Emily Grierson's house
because it smelled bad.
2. Normally, keep yourself out of your analysis; in other words, use the third person
(no I or you). Some instructors may require or allow the first or second person in an
informal analysis if the usage is consistent, however, so check with your instructor.
FIRST PERSON: I believe that the narrator in "Sonny's Blues" is a dynamic character
because I read many details about the changes in his attitude toward and relationship with
Sonny.
THIRD PERSON: The narrator in "Sonny's Blues" is a dynamic character who changes
his attitude toward and relationship with Sonny as the story progresses.
SECOND PERSON: At the end of "Everyday Use," Mama realizes that Maggie is like
her but has not received the attention you should give your daughter to help her attain
self-esteem.
THIRD PERSON: At the end of "Everyday Use," Mama realizes that Maggie is like her
but has not received enough attention to build self-esteem.
3. Avoid summarizing the plot (i.e., retelling the story literally). Instead analyze
(form a thesis about and explain) the story in literary terms.
PLOT SUMMARY: In Edgar Allan Poe's "The Tell-Tale Heart," the mad narrator
explains in detail how he kills the old man, who screams as he dies. After being alerted
by a neighbor, the police arrive, and the madman gives them a tour through the house,
finally halting in the old man's bedroom, where he has buried the man beneath the floor
planks under the bed. As he is talking, the narrator hears what he thinks is the old man's
heart beating loudly, and he is driven to confess the murder.
ANALYSIS: Though the narrator claims he is not mad, the reader realizes that the
narrator in "The Telltale Heart" is unreliable and lies about his sanity. For example, the
mad narrator says he can hear "all things in the heaven and in the earth." Sane people
cannot. He also lies to the police when he tells them that the shriek they hear occurs in his
dream. Though sane people do lie, most do not meticulously plan murders, lie to the
police, and then confess without prompting. Finally, the madman is so plagued with guilt
that he hears his own conscience in the form of the old man's heart beating loudly. Dead
hearts do not beat, nor do sane people confuse their consciences with the sounds of
external objects.
16
Attributive Tags and Concrete Details in Literary Analysis Paragraphs and Essays
In a literary analysis paragraph or essay, CONCRETE DETAILS (CDs) are the
examples from the story you include as evidence to support your thesis statement and
topic sentences.
The sentence that contains a concrete detail should include the following:

Transitional phrase (see the Transitions portion of your course guide for
examples)

Attributive tag (lead-in): establish who is speaking or acting and when that
dialogue or action takes place in the story, situation, etc. Helpful words include when,
while, during, before and after.

Quotation: the majority of your CDs will use passages from the text.
Occasionally, you will need to paraphrase or summarize the CD.

Citation: use MLA format for citations (see the MLA format portion of your
course guide for instructions)
1. How to incorporate dialogue/speech:

Anchor the character’s words with a attributive tag that provides context (who is
speaking, to whom, and when).

Good words to introduce dialogue are says, remarks, shouts, screams, whispers,
etc. Look at the text for help. The author will generally indicate how the character
delivers the dialogue.

You will need to use single quotation marks within double quotation marks to
show that you are quoting text that has quotation marks around it.
o
Example: For example, when the crowd of villagers begins to crowd around
Tessie in preparation for her stoning, she screams, “’It isn’t fair, it isn’t right’”
(129).
2. How to incorporate a character’s private thoughts:

Anchor the character’s thoughts with a lead-in that provides context (who is
thinking and
when).

Good words to introduce private thought are thinks, realizes, understands,
believes, admits, remembers, recollects, etc. Use the stories context for the private
thought when choosing a word for your attributive tag.
o
Example: Similarly, when Brother reflects on his attempts to teach Doodle
how to walk, he admits, “I did not know then that pride is a wonderful, terrible
thing, a seed that bears two vines, life and death” (318).
3. How to incorporate a character’s actions:

Anchor the character’s actions with a lead-in that provides context (who and
when).
o
Example: Before the lottery begins, Jackson foreshadows its sinister nature
when the school boys “made a great pile of stones in one corner of the square and
guarded it against the raids of other boys” (127).
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4. How to omit words:

If you omit words in order to be concise, mark the omission with three periods (an
ellipsis) with a space between each ( . . . ).

You do not need to use an ellipsis at the beginning and end of your quotations. It
is
understood that you are taking passages from a longer work.

Example with ellipsis: In fact, when several of the village’s men talk about
the neighboring villages that have given up the lottery, Old Man Warner remarks,
“’Pack of crazy fools . . . Next thing you know, they’ll be wanting to go back to living
in caves, nobody work anymore’” (128).
5. How to alter a quote for clarity by placing the change in brackets:

If you need to change a word, often a pronoun, to keep your sentence
grammatically consistent, put the changed word(s) in square brackets to show that a word
has been
replaced.

In the example below, [he] replaced I in the original quote:
o
Example: For example, when Dr. Ganderbai is about to apply the
chloroform, Timber feels as if "someone was blowing up a huge balloon and [he]
could see it was going to burst, but [he] couldn’t look away” (84).
Concrete Details and attributive tags can be formatted in a variety of ways. Here
are a few examples:
1.
If the quote ends the sentence:

One instance in which Atticus is particularly compassionate is when he explains
to Scout that “[y]ou never really understand a person until you consider things from his
point of view” (22).
2.
If the quote is in the middle of the sentence:

For instance, “[y]ou never really understand a person until you consider things
from his point of view” Atticus says to Scout (22).
3.
If you are combining dialogue from two different characters into one CD:

Once instance is seen when Atticus explains that “[y]ou never really understand a
person until you consider things from his point or view” to which Scout replies,
“Sir?”(22).
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Transitional Phrases
No matter what type of writing you are doing, transitions are needed to improve the
organization and flow of your writing.
Illustration
Thus, for example, for instance, namely, to illustrate, in other words, in particular,
specifically, such as.
Contrast
On the contrary, contrarily, notwithstanding, but, however, nevertheless, in spite of, in
contrast, yet, on one hand, on the other hand, rather, or, nor, conversely, at the same time,
while this may be true.
Addition
And, in addition to, furthermore, moreover, besides, than, too, also, both-and, another,
equally important, first, second, etc., again, further, last, finally, not only-but also, as well as,
in the second place, next, likewise, similarly, in fact, as a result, consequently, in the same
way, for example, for instance, however, thus, therefore, otherwise.
Time
After, afterward, before, then, once, next, last, at last, at length, first, second, etc., at first,
formerly, rarely, usually, another, finally, soon, meanwhile, at the same time, for a minute,
hour, day, etc., during the morning, day, week, etc., most important, later, ordinarily, to begin
with, afterwards, generally, in order to, subsequently, previously, in the meantime,
immediately, eventually, concurrently, simultaneously.
Concession
Although, at any rate, at least, still, thought, even though, granted that, while it may be true,
in spite of, of course.
Similarity or Comparison
Similarly, likewise, in like fashion, in like manner, analogous to.
Emphasis
Above all, indeed, truly, of course, certainly, surely, in fact, really, in truth, again, besides,
also, furthermore, in addition.
Details
Specifically, especially, in particular, to explain, to list, to enumerate, in detail, namely,
including.
Examples
For example, for instance, to illustrate, thus, in other words, as an illustration, in particular.
Consequence or Result
So that, with the result that, thus, consequently, hence, accordingly, for this reason, therefore,
so, because, since, due to, as a result, in other words, then.
Summary
Therefore, finally, consequently, thus, in short, in conclusion, in brief, as a result,
accordingly.
Suggestion
For this purpose, to this end, with this in mind, with this purpose in mind, therefore.
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Literary Terms
For each of the following terms, give a definition and example. You will be responsible
for knowing these, and may be quizzed on them. You will also have an assignment to
make posters of the terms to be hung in the classroom.
Terms that should be review:
Allegory
Allusion
Aside
Character (Static, Dynamic, Hero, Foil)
Comedy
Connotation
Denotation
Details
Diction
Epic Poem
Figures of Speech (metaphor, simile,
personification)
Flashback
Foreshadowing
Hubris
Imagery
Irony
Mood
Motivation
Point of View
Oxymoron
Plot
Protagonist
Pun
Antagonist
Repetition
Rhyme
Sarcasm
Setting
Soliloquy
Symbol
Structure
Sonnet
Syntax
Theme
Tone
Tragedy
Prose
Verse
Voice
Terms that are probably new to you:
Alliteration
Anecdote
Assonance
Consonance
Dialect
Hyberbole
Inversion
Juxtaposition
Paradox
Prosody
Satire
Stream of Consciousness
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Tips for varying Sentence Structure
Strategies for Variation (From OWL at Purdue University)
Adding sentence variety to prose can give it life and rhythm. Too many sentences with the same
structure and length can grow monotonous for readers. Varying sentence style and structure can
also reduce repetition and add emphasis. Long sentences work well for incorporating a lot of
information, and short sentences can often maximize crucial points. These general tips may help
add variety to similar sentences.
1. Vary the rhythm by alternating short and long sentences.
Several sentences of the same length can make for bland writing. To enliven paragraphs, write
sentences of different lengths. This will also allow for effective emphasis.
2. Vary sentence openings.
If too many sentences start with the same word, especially The, It, This, or I, prose can grow
tedious for readers, so changing opening words and phrases can be refreshing. Below are
alternative openings for a fairly standard sentence. Notice that different beginnings can alter not
only the structure but also the emphasis of the sentence. They may also require rephrasing in
sentences before or after this one, meaning that one change could lead to an abundance of
sentence variety.
Example:
The biggest coincidence that day happened when David and I ended up sitting next to each other
at the Super Bowl.
Possible Revisions:


Coincidentally, David and I ended up sitting right next to each other at the Super Bowl.
In an amazing coincidence, David and I ended up sitting next to each other at the Super
Bowl.


Sitting next to David at the Super Bowl was a tremendous coincidence.
But the biggest coincidence that day happened when David and I ended up sitting next to
each other at the Super Bowl.

When I sat down at the Super Bowl, I realized that, by sheer coincidence, I was directly
next to David.

By sheer coincidence, I ended up sitting directly next to David at the Super Bowl.

With over 50,000 fans at the Super Bowl, it took an incredible coincidence for me to end
up sitting right next to David.

What are the odds that I would have ended up sitting right next to David at the Super
Bowl?

David and I, without any prior planning, ended up sitting right next to each other at the
Super Bowl.
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
Without any prior planning, David and I ended up sitting right next to each other at the
Super Bowl.

At the crowded Super Bowl, packed with 50,000 screaming fans, David and I ended up
sitting right next to each other by sheer coincidence.

Though I hadn't made any advance arrangements with David, we ended up sitting right
next to each other at the Super Bowl.

Many amazing coincidences occurred that day, but nothing topped sitting right next to
David at the Super Bowl.

Unbelievable, I know, but David and I ended up sitting right next to each other at the
Super Bowl.

Guided by some bizarre coincidence, David and I ended up sitting right next to each other
at the Super Bowl.
For Short, Choppy Sentences
If your writing contains lots of short sentences that give it a choppy rhythm, consider these tips.
1. Combine Sentences With Conjunctions:
Join complete sentences, clauses, and phrases with conjunctions:
and, but, or, nor, yet, for, so
Example: Doonesbury cartoons satirize contemporary politics. Readers don't always find this
funny. They demand that newspapers not carry the strip.
Revision: Doonesbury cartoons laugh at contemporary politicians, but readers don't always find
this funny and demand that newspapers not carry the strip.
2. Link Sentences Through Subordination:
Link two related sentences to each other so that one carries the main idea and the other is no
longer a complete sentence (subordination). Use connectors such as the ones listed below to
show the relationship.
after, although, as, as if, because, before, even if, even though, if, if only, rather than, since, that,
though, unless, until, when, where, whereas, wherever, whether, which, while
Example: The campus parking problem is getting worse. The university is not building any new
garages.
Revision: The campus parking problem is getting worse because the university is not building
any new garages.
Example: The US has been highly dependent on foreign oil for many years. Alternate sources of
energy are only now being sought.
Revision: Although the US has been highly dependent on foreign oil for many years, alternate
sources are only now being sought.
Notice in these examples that the location of the clause beginning with the dependent marker
(the connector word) is flexible. This flexibility can be useful in creating varied rhythmic
patterns over the course of a paragraph.
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25
Qualifiers
What this handout is about
This handout will explain what qualifiers are and how you can use them wisely.
Introduction
Qualifiers and intensifiers are words or phrases that are added to another word to modify its meaning,
either by limiting it (He was somewhat busy) or by enhancing it (The dog was very cute). Qualifiers can
play an important role in your writing, giving your reader clues about how confident you feel about the
information you’re presenting. In fact, “hedging” (as it is sometimes called) is an important feature of
academic writing, because academic writers need to clearly indicate whether they think claims are
certain, likely, unlikely, or just false. But excessive use of qualifiers can make you sound unsure of your
facts; it can also make your writing too informal.
Qualifiers can be your friends
Qualifiers are often necessary, such as when your evidence or your claim is open to doubt. In
such cases, using a qualifier allows you to present your findings with what we can call
“confident uncertainty,” which reflects a need to be cautious and critical about the data you’re
presenting. Sometimes you may be required to present your ideas before you have had a
chance to fully interpret your research findings. At other times, you may want to remind
readers of the limitations of your particular research.
Here are some words and phrases that can help you indicate uncertainty:
Appears
Seems
Suggests
Indicates
It’s also very important to distinguish between absolute or universal claims (in which
you are asserting that something is true always and everywhere) and more particular
claims (in which you are asserting something but recognizing that your claim has
limits). Let’s take a look at some absolute words and some more qualified alternatives:
ABSOLUTE QUALIFIED
Will May, might, could
Forms of “be” (am, is, are,
was, were)
May be, might have been, may have been
All Many, most, some, numerous, countless, a majority
Every (Same as “all”)
None/no Few, not many, a small number, hardly any, a minority
Always Often, frequently, commonly, for a long time, usually,
sometimes, repeatedly
Never Rarely, infrequently, sporadically, seldom
Certainly Probably, possibly
Impossible Unlikely, improbable, doubtful
How much doubt do you want to create?
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In most academic writing, you make an argument to support a thesis. To make a strong
argument, you’ll need to convince readers of your points. Consider these two sentences:
President Nixon probably resigned as a result of the Watergate cover-up.
President Nixon resigned as a result of the Watergate cover-up.
The first sentence makes your reader doubt the conclusion you’ve arrived at; the latter
sentence leaves no doubt about your argument for the causes of Nixon’s resignation. How can
you know which sentence to choose? You’ll need to think about the impact your choices will
have on your reader.
Qualifiers express doubt; they leave your reader wondering if you know what you’re talking
about. Constructions like it appears that and it seems likely that diminish the strength of your
claims. Sometimes that’s exactly what you want, when you don’t want to overstate your case
and cannot justify making a stronger, more direct claim. But if you are confident of your
evidence, using strong qualifiers like these can lead your reader to doubt whether you know
what you are talking about or to think that you are not willing to take responsibility for your
ideas.
Consider the two examples below. Does the writer sound confident in her understanding of the
theories of Freud and Weber?
It appears that Freud believed the unconscious played a significant role in behavior.
Max Weber seems to argue that capitalism arises partly out of Protestant values.
Does Freud in fact think that the unconscious affects people’s behavior? Does Weber really
think capitalism arises from Protestant values? If so, the writer should probably just make those
claims, without the qualifiers.
Here are some examples of words to keep an eye on (in addition to the qualifiers already listed
above):
Basically
Essentially
Generally
Kind of
Mostly
Pretty
Rather
Slightly
Somewhat
Sort of
Various
Virtually
Qualifiers and your writing style
Writing that contains too many qualifiers can sound unclear and wordy. We often rely on
qualifiers—especially intensifiers—because we either don’t know or don’t take the time to find
the appropriate word. Instead we construct our meaning by employing a not-quite-right word
with a qualifier added to strengthen or to tone down a noun or verb.
Anna Karenina is a somewhat admirable character.
Better: Anna Karenina is a sympathetic character.
December is Moscow is really cold.
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Better: December in Moscow is freezing.
The theme of community is very important in Russian literature.
Better: The theme of community is central in Russian literature.
In each of the above examples, the second sentence employs a word with a more precise
meaning and is more concise.
“She was very happy” doesn’t capture the nuances that can be expressed by “overjoyed,”
“thrilled,” or “ecstatic.”
Pay special attention to these commonly overused intensifiers:
A lot
Really
Very
The qualifier habit
Using lots of qualifiers can become a habit. Sometimes it carries over from the way you speak—
perhaps you are a dramatic storyteller who uses lots of intensifiers to express your strong
feelings. Sometimes it reflects your relationship to writing, or to your readers—perhaps you feel
that you are a “bad writer” and cannot write with confidence, or perhaps you are writing for an
intimidating audience, and you are using qualifiers to make your claims as humble as possible
in hopes of avoiding criticism or disagreement. While you can certainly compensate for a habit
of overusing qualifiers by adding another stage to your editing process (as we’ll discuss in a
moment), it may also be worth thinking about how to change your attitudes and practices. If
you are using qualifiers to try to create interest and drama, perhaps you could explore other
strategies that would be more appropriate for academic writing, like using stronger verbs and
including more interesting details. If you are using qualifiers because of a lack of confidence,
ask yourself: do I need to do more research to feel confident of my claims? Do I need to talk
with my regular readers and let them know more about the kinds of feedback that are, and are
not, helpful for me? Do I need to practice getting feedback from some “friendly” readers in
order to feel more comfortable with that aspect of the writing process?
Strategies
Suppose you’ve realized that you use the words on the above lists too often and have resolved
to cut back. But how? One method is to read through your paper and circle all the adverbs and
adjectives. Then examine each one and see whether it accurately and concisely conveys your
intended meaning.
It proved to be very hard to overturn Plessy v. Ferguson
Better: It proved to be difficult to overturn Plessy v. Ferguson
In recent years the Electoral College has become very controversial
Better: In recent years the Electoral College has become controversial.
The House Ways and Means Committee is basically one of the most powerful
Congressional committees.
Better: The House Ways and Means Committee is one of the most powerful
Congressional committees.
We hope that this handout will help you make confident, appropriate choices about using
qualifiers in your writing! © 2010-2012 by The Writing Center at UNC Chapel Hill.
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