What is a
thesis
statement?
What
characteristics
should it have?
A debatable,
focused claim
Question which cannot be resolved
using logical claims and evidence
Undecided question which can be
argued using evidence
Factual question requiring research
Factual question which requires no
research
Is it morally wrong not to recycle?
Does Notre Dame’s recycling
program need further improvement?
How much less waste does Notre
Dame now send to landfills,
compared with five years ago?
Does Notre Dame have a recycling
program?
Oriented for a
specific audience
and their
knowledge
Appropriate for
the context and
format of the
larger piece
Formality
Concision
Assertion
Formal Language
•High-register, scholarly, learned
Informal Language
•Casual, relaxed, colloquial
The purpose of this paper is to try to figure out
what is lacking in our current understanding of
corrosion and corrosion protection in concrete.
The purpose of this paper is to try to determine
what is lacking in our current understanding of
corrosion and corrosion protection in concrete.
Although labor unions in the U.S. have been
able to keep up their membership numbers over
the last two decades, they have been losing
their political strength.
Although labor unions in the U.S. have been
able to maintain their membership numbers
over the last two decades, they have been
losing their political strength.
The use of touch-screen voting systems could get rid of many
problems associated with traditional paper-based ballots.
The six leading causes of death in the U.S. are mainly brought
on by overeating, lack of exercise, and cigarette smoking.
Researchers have recently come up with hybrid vehicles that
use a fuel-cell engine and a batter-assisted power train.
eliminate
determine
constitute
investigate
develop
maintain
cause
decrease
Problems with this
policy showed up soon
after its
implementation.
In the past five years
many studies have
looked at the effect of
different grassland
management practices.
Cancer researchers have
run into a variety of
unexpected problems in
their efforts to develop a
vaccine.
There has been a lot of/considerable interest in how
background sounds affect an individual’s ability to
concentrate.
In Hong Kong there is one cell phone for just
about/virtually every two people.
Crash test dummies are really important for/an integral
part of automotive crash tests.
The competition that
U.S. growers get from
imports of Mexican
vegetables has gotten
more intense.
Allergic reactions to
local dental anesthesia
don’t happen very
often.
This problem doesn’t
have very many viable
solutions.
A single verb rather than a verb + preposition
• Worldwide consumption of pesticides has gone up increased to 2.6 metric
tons.
Simple past tense or gerund (present progressive) forms
• Relations between the sheriff and the mayor have gotten worse worsened
since the incident.
• Consumer interest in paper checks is getting smaller and smaller decreasing.
Simple negative forms
• The analysis did not yield any results →The analysis yielded no new results.
• The problem doesn’t have many viable solutions → The problem has few
viable solutions.
Avoid slang, clichés,
and abbreviations.
It may be difficult to make a choice
about the method that we should
use.
Choosing the proper method may be
difficult.
There are some inorganic materials that can be
used by bioengineers in the process of tissue
engineering that have been shown to be very
promising.
Some inorganic materials used in tissue
engineering have shown great promise.
Efficient use of
words: Try to use no
more words than
you really need
Many have made the wise observation
that when a stone is in motion rolling
down a hill or incline that that moving
stone is not as likely to be covered all over
with the kind of thick green moss that
grows on stationary unmoving things and
becomes a nuisance and suggests that
those things haven’t moved in a long time
and probably won’t move any time soon.
A rolling stone
gathers no moss.
Unnecessary determiners and modifiers
(adjectives/adverbs)
• For all intents and purposes, American industrial
productivity generally depends on certain
factors that are really more psychological in
kind than of any given technological aspect →
American industrial productivity depends more
on psychological than on technological factors.
kind of
sort of
type of
really
basically
for all intents
and purposes
definitely
actually
generally
individual
specific
particular
Words that explain the obvious or provide
excessive detail
• Baseball, one of our oldest and most popular outdoor
summer sports in terms of total attendance at ball parks
and viewing on television, has the kind of rhythm of play
on the field that alternates between times when players
passively wait with no action taking place between the
pitches to the batter and then times when they explode
into action as the batter hits a pitched ball to one of the
players and the player fields it. → Baseball has a rhythm
that alternates between waiting and explosive action.
Repetitive phrasing
• In this day and age, young men in
their twenties rarely if ever marry
the neighbor girl who lives next
door. → Modern men in their
twenties rarely marry the girl next
door.
Redundancies
• Notre Dame students are largely able to put aside the
various differences of each individual and work
together toward common future goals. → Notre
Dame students are largely able to put aside differences
and work together toward common goals.
• During that time period, many car buyers preferred
cars that were pink in color and shiny in appearance. →
During that period, many car buyers preferred pink,
shiny cars.
past
memories
various
differences
each
individual
basic
fundamentals
true facts
important
essentials
future plans
terrible
tragedy
end result
final outcome
free gift
past history
unexpected
surprise
sudden crisis
large in size
often times
of a bright
color
heavy in
weight
period in time
round in shape
at an early
time
of cheap
quality
honest in
character
of an
uncertain
condition
in a confused
state
unusual in
nature
extreme in
degree
of a strange
type
An investigation into the symbolic
overtones of Eliot’s Adam Bede will
reveal a type of opposing positive
and negative characterization of
the two female characters Dinah
and Hetty, who are from very
different backgrounds.
The increase in number of laptop
computers and smart phones gives
a partial but not complete
explanation for students’ increasing
dependence on communicating by
means of the Internet.
The Civil War was fought by the North and South for
many reasons, some of which were the same and some
different.
Both Northerners and Southerners fought against
tyranny and oppression in the Civil War, though
Northerners focused on the oppression of slaves while
Southerners defended their own right to selfgovernment.
Dropping atomic bombs on Japan was evil and
unjustifiable.
The decision to drop atomic bombs on Japan was a very
complex one.
The bombing of Japan was not a necessary maneuver for
ending World War II; however, neither was it a racially
motivated strike, as many opponents claim.
Declarative, assertive
statement with which it
would be possible for
readers to disagree
A claim which offers a
fresh perspective
without being
combative or overly
confrontational
The rise of
technology has
greatly impacted the
media industry.
Toni Morrison is the
st
best writer of the 21
century.
More clearly places the responsibility for clarity
on the writer and not the reader
•
•
•
•
Is more explicit about its structures and purposes
Is less tolerant of asides or digressions
Uses fairly short sentences with less complicated grammar
Uses more sentence connectors (words like however)
Points more explicitly to the “gaps” or
“weaknesses” in the previous research