MANAGING CONFLICT
IN THE CONGREGATION
A Presentation to the Congregations
of the Michigan District - LCMS
Prepared by
The Rev. Dr. Peter Larsen, Director
Unity Ministry: A Ministry of Mediation
UNDERSTANDING LEVELS OF
CONFLICT
The following material is based on materials prepared by the
Alban Institute entitled “Conflict Intensity Chart.”
LEVEL ONE: A Problem
Needing Solving
Characteristics
1. Issue
2. Emotions
Real disagreement, conflicting goals and needs
Short-lived anger quickly controlled; parties begin
to be uncomfortable in presence of others
3. Orientation
Tends to be problem oriented rather than person
oriented
4. Information Open sharing of information
5. Language Clear and specific
6. Objective
Solving the problem. Move to unanimous
agreement. Use collaborative style
7. Outcome
Collaborative agreement if possible. Win/win final
end with acceptable mutually agreed solution
LEVEL TWO: Disagreement
Characteristics
1. Issue
2. Emotions
3. Orientation
Real disagreement with mixing of personalities and issues and
problem cannot be easily defined
Distrust begins. Caution in associations; less mixing with the
“other side.”
Begin personalizing problem…shrewdness & calculations start
4. Information Selective hold back of information occurs by both sides
5. Language
More vague & general: “some people…” “they” Hostile humor
and barbed comments and put downs
6. Objective
Face saving; come out looking good. Tend toward consensus.
Not yet “win/lose conflict”
Attempt collaborative solution or negotiate acceptable
agreement; win/win with real effort
7. Outcome
LEVEL THREE: Contesting
(this is the level for outside consulting to come in)
Characteristics
1. Issue
2. Emotions
3. Orientation
Win/lose begins. Resistance to peace overtures. Focus on
persons representing the “enemy”
Not able to operate in presence of “enemy” though admire
worthy opponent. Not willing to share emotions constructively
Personal attacks. Formation of sides (often sides have names)
4. Information Distortion is major problem and information shared only within
factions
5. Language
Overgeneralizations. Attribute diabolical motives to others…”you
always” … “we never”
Shifts from self-protection to winning. Clustering of issues
6. Objective
7. Outcome
Decision making. Mediation. Compromising. Possible some will
leave the church
LEVEL FOUR: Fight/Flight
Characteristics
1. Issue
2. Emotions
Shifts from winning to getting rid of person(s) as no longer
believe others can change or want them to change
Cold self-righteousness and will not speak to the other side
3. Orientation
Factions solidified and clear lines of separation
4. Information Only limited to cause being advocated and will not listen to
contrary information
5. Language
Talk now of “principles” not “issues” and language moves to
ideology
6. Objective
No longer winning: now eliminate other(s) from the church and
hurt them.
High probability of splitting church with many leaving
7. Outcome
LEVEL FIVE:
Intractable (may be wrong at this
level to keep church together. May
need a split without hurting each other)
Characteristics
1. Issue
2. Emotions
3. Orientation
Conflict unmanageable. Personalities are the issue: no
understanding of any other issue
Relentless obsession to accomplish objective(s) at all cost.
Vindictive. No objectivity or control of emotions
See person(s) as harmful to society, not just to our church
4. Information Skewed to accomplish the objective at all costs
5. Language
6. Objective
7. Outcome
Focuses on words implying destruction and/or elimination of the
other
To destroy the offending party/person and to see that the fired
person does not get a job elsewhere
Highly destructive. May be necessary to remove members from
church. Possible formation of judicial commission
CONCERNING LEVELS
ONE - FOUR
If invited in, the mediator from Unity Ministry explains the
characteristics and help churches resolve the issues before they
become intractable. This might be done by showing the deeper
levels of conflict toward which a church is heading if they do not
resolve their issues. Unity Ministry would seek the following
outcomes:
1.
2.
3.
Teaching about conflict
Clarifying the issues
Helping disputants talk in a safe and calm environment
4.
5.
Help move toward a win/win agreement
Negotiate a written Agreement after much listening and talking
by all involved
UNITY MINISTRY:
A Ministry of Mediation
For questions and/or assistance in managing
conflict, particularly for Levels 2-4,
contact the director of Unity Ministry, the
Rev. Dr. Peter Larsen, at 888.225.2111 or
peter.larsen@michigandistrict.org