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Last week we started talking about forgiveness… and today we should conclude this
topic…
We saw how Matthew 6:11-12(ESV)
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Give us this day our daily bread,
and forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors.
Notice not only are we supposed to pray for our daily dependence on God for
everything
But also for our forgiveness… daily… why is that? Because we all sin daily
What we covered last week
a. What is forgiveness?
i. The word means to cast away
ii. And isn’t that that we should be doing with the debts we’re owed
1. Whether it’s a slight from a friend
2. Or an insult hurled at us in anger
b. That’s what God does when He forgives
i. Psalms 103:12(ESV)
1. 12 as far as the east is from the west, so far does he remove
our transgressions from us.
ii. God separates us from our sins as far as the east is from the west
1. You can’t get much further than that
c. That’s the example he set for us
i. One which we all should strive to follow
ii. Forgiveness is not
1. an emotion
2. an feeling
iii. But it’s an act of the will
1. Do you get that… You have to let it go… cast it away from you
2. And you may have to do it often…
a. Like daily
d. What does God forgive?
i. God forgives everything
1. That His children have asked
2. If you’re not a child of God,
3. If you haven’t asked Jesus to be Lord of you life
4. The Bible says God doesn’t hear your prayers
ii. We read that God doesn’t hear the prayers of sinners
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iii. And the only sin God won’t forgive is people who reject His Son… His
Only son
1. Because without His Son’s sacrifice
a. Without His Son’s Blood
b. You have to pay the debts you’ve accrued in your life, on
your own
c. And don’t bank on your good works to save you
d. Since God said through Isaiah in Isaiah 64:6(ESV)
i. 6 We have all become like one who is unclean,
and all our righteous deeds are like a polluted
garment. We all fade like a leaf, and our iniquities,
like the wind, take us away.
ii. That even our righteous deeds are like polluted
garments
iii. And if there were any doubt…
1. Paul writes in Romans 3:23(ESV)
a. 23for all have sinned and fall short of the
glory of God,
2. ALL have sinned… Not Some
3. ALL fall short
e. All must pay what they owe for that sin as Romans
6:23(ESV)
i. 23For the wages of sin is death, but the free gift of
God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord.
ii. You cannot earn your way into heaven
1. But you can earn your way into hell
f. All of our sin must be paid for
i. Either by us…
1. Or by Christ
iv. Then we learned how we obtain His forgiveness?
1. And on paper it sounds simple!
2. John says in 1 John 1:9(ESV)
a. 9If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us
our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.
3. We obtain forgiveness from God
a. When we do another hard thing
i. We confess our sins
ii. And God is faithful to Not only forgive us
b. But the cleanse us from ALL unrighteousness
i. Have you noticed… when you have sin in your life…
1. You can’t help but feel dirty
a. I don’t mean physically dirty
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2. But spiritually
a. Spot on Tie Analogy
c. And it’s that confession that’s so hard for some people to
do
i. Last week, we learned perhaps the number one
reason we don’t confess our sins to God
1. Is a little thing called pride
ii. And how this is nothing new
4. Man has always tried to avoid confessing our sins
a. Whether it’s by blaming someone else
b. Or our circumstances
c. Sometimes we would give half way confessions
i. Yes I got mad… BUT
1. You saw what He did
ii. YES I did Wrong… BUT
1. It’s not my fault
d. Is not a confession at all!
i. Our confessions need to be from the heart
1. Need to be honest and sincere
a. Not just words mouthed to satisfy the
law
ii. Today it has become easier to ask for forgiveness
1. Rather than to ask permission
2. And on the other hand…
a. It’s easier to sit and fume
b. Than to go to a person who wronged
you
i. In love and confront them with
their sin
5. So today we cover the last 3
i.
ii.
iii.
iv.
And who do we forgive?
How are we supposed to do it?
And what if we chose not to forgive?
And interspersed I will also be talking about myths of forgiveness
 Who are we supposed to forgive?
o Jesus tells us in Matthew 6:14-15(ESV)
 14For if you forgive others their trespasses, your heavenly Father will
also forgive you,
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but if you do not forgive others their trespasses, neither will your
Father forgive your trespasses.
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o Jesus says we need to forgive others… their debts
 Who are these others
 Well Paul mention’s others too…
o Colossians 3:12-13(ESV)
 12Put on then, as God’s chosen ones, holy and
beloved, compassion, kindness, humility, meekness,
and patience,
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bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint
against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has
forgiven you, so you also must forgive.
 Notice we’re also supposed to forgive those we have a complaint
against
o Now some people dance on this point
 They say if a person sinned against me… I can forgive
them
 IF that person confesses publically to me
 The person must ask for MY forgiveness
o Before I forgive
 When people say things like that
o It becomes a source of pride
o It like they want everyone to know they did
nothing wrong
 That it was all the other person’s fault
o They say isn’t that what God requires?
 Yes, but God confronts us with our sins out of love for
us
 God deals with us in love
 And that’s how we’re supposed to deal with
others
 Well let me tell you
 It rarely is just one person’s fault
 When there are problems it’s generally because
o To imperfect humans
o That’s why when a person church hops
 They find similar problems creeping up in their new
church
 Because they brought half of the problem with
them
 What are these debts we’re supposed to cast away?
o Any sin done against us
 Whether sins of omission or commission
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 Sins done by accident
 Or those done on purpose
o The idea about sin being a debt owed is so true isn’t it?
 Isn’t that how we look at it when others do us wrong
 It’s like they owe us something
 And if they don’t pay us… we’re going to give
them something
o Whether it’s a swift kick in the pants
o Or a cold shoulder
o But they’ll get theirs
 Another myth about forgiveness
 Is that we can forgive just like that
o That once we’ve forgiven someone
o We can forgive and forget
 Instantly
 But we can’t… or am I the only one who can’t
forgive and forget?
o I think that’s why Jesus says that we need
to do this daily
 Not to keep reminding ourselves of
sins done against us
 But to keep letting that debt go
 Anyone here try to forgive and NOT let go?
 It doesn’t work does it?
o Because it will build up in time
 And over time it will erupt
 And you may feel better after the eruption,
o But it will start building up again
o And the cycle will start all over
 And how does God forgive us?
 Completely…
o Even when we don’t deserve it
o Even when we sin over and over again
o God forgives us
 Now IS it easy to forgive completely NO WAY
o This is another myth about forgiveness
 Some will say… oh yes it’s so easy to forgive
 SO easy to let it Go
 Yeah right!
 If you think forgiveness is easy
 You’re probably not doing it right
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o We’re not God… we can’t see people’s hearts
o We don’t know if they’re sincerely sorry
 Or if they’re just mouthing the words
 Trying to placate us
o We struggle with our pride
o But remember who we’re supposed to be becoming like
 We’re supposed to be striving to be more like Jesus
 And yes that takes effort
 IT’s also about how we forgive others
o Not as a source of pride
o But that’s how the world forgives
 That’s how the world does things
 The world demands repayment
 The world cries crucify Him
 But we’re supposed to be different
o NO we’re called to forgive as God forgives us!
 Out of humility and respect for how God forgave us
 Not only are we supposed to forgive completely but often
o How often you might ask…
 (it’s funny… the disciples asked the same question)
 Matthew 18:21-22
 21Then Peter came up and said to him, “Lord, how often will my
brother sin against me, and I forgive him? As many as seven
times?”
 Peter was being well Peter…
o The teaching of the Jews at that time was you had to forgive
someone who wronged you
 3 times
o So Peter was trying to show Jesus how spiritual He is
 And doubles it and adds more to it
 But Jesus goes well beyond that… and puts up a bigger number
still
o 22Jesus said to him, “I do not say to you seven times, but
seventy times seven.
o Jesus is basically saying don’t keep a runny tally
 Of wrongs done to you
o
o If confessing your sin to God our Father is hard…
 And asking for HIS forgiveness is hard
 But how much harder is it to forgive others…or gulp…seek their
forgiveness
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 For the wrongs done to us or that we’ve done
o Wrongs done whether it’s on purpose
o Or by accident
 But we are called to forgive them out of love…
o Emulating our heavenly Father
 But what if they’re not a Christian, what if they don’t ask for forgiveness
 We turn it over to God
 We forgive,
o We let go of that wrong done to us
o And be different from the world
o If not for their sakes, then for ours
o One of the people most often fail to forgive is ourselves
 Oh we may be able to forgive the person who abused us
 We can let go of the hurt and the anger of the person who robbed us
 But we have a very hard time
 Letting go of the anger we feel when we make a mistake
o When we said or did the wrong thing
o When we hurt someone’s feelings
 Oh we may seek forgiveness from others
o May receive it…
o But we never stop beating ourselves up
o We have to remember that we’re part of others
 How are we supposed to forgive others
o We must remember who we are worshiping
 Our God is a God of forgiveness
 Nehemiah 9:17(ESV)
o 17They refused to obey and were not mindful of the wonders
that you performed among them, but they stiffened their
neck and appointed a leader to return to their slavery in
Egypt. But you are a God ready to forgive, gracious and
merciful, slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love, and
did not forsake them.
o By keeping things in perspective
 By recognizing the power of this sinful flesh
 To distort my perception of right and wrong
o Remembering that this forgiving of debts is tied to praying daily
 We need to seek forgiveness daily!
 In fact, Jesus gave us an example of this daily forgiveness
 John 13:5-11(ESV)
o 5Then he poured water into a basin and began to wash the
disciples’ feet and to wipe them with the towel that was
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wrapped around him.
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He came to Simon Peter, who said to him, “Lord, do you
wash my feet?”
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Jesus answered him, “What I am doing you do not
understand now, but afterward you will understand.”
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Peter said to him, “You shall never wash my feet.” Jesus
answered him, “If I do not wash you, you have no share with
me.”
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Simon Peter said to him, “Lord, not my feet only but also my
hands and my head!”
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Jesus said to him, “The one who has bathed does not need
to wash, except for his feet, but is completely clean. And
you are clean, but not every one of you.”
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For he knew who was to betray him; that was why he
said, “Not all of you are clean.”
o The one who has bathed
 This example of washing the disciples feet is often
taken as an example of humility in leaders
 But its more… it’s also a picture of God’s daily
forgiveness
 The dirty feet of the disciples was inescapable
o In the age of sandals and camels
o Dirty feet were part of life.
 But their whole bodies were not made dirty
o By their walk
 Only their feet required cleaning
 Cleaning daily
 And what a wonderful illustration of our need for daily forgiveness
o Because every day we fall short
 Every day we need to ask for forgiveness
 Asking forgiveness
 Implies confession
 If you don’t present your feet to Christ
o They cannot be cleaned
o And you may be like Peter
 Not wanting your savior… your king
 See the condition of your feet
o But then there is no cleaning
 There is no cleansing
 No forgiveness
o One of the things that prevents us from forgiving others…
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 Is the lack of love
 1 Corinthians 13:4-6(ESV)
o 4Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is
not arrogant
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or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or
resentful;
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it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth.
o When you love someone
 You don’t keep a scorecard of the wrongs done to you
 You don’t play tit-for-tat
o You just love them
 1 Peter 4:8(ESV)
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Above all, keep loving one another earnestly, since love covers a
multitude of sins.
 Love is the key
 It allows us to see past the wrong that was done
o And gives us the ability to move on
 But it must be genuine as Paul wrote in Romans 12:9(ESV)
 9Let love be genuine. Abhor what is evil; hold fast to what is good.
 Paul said in Ephesians 4:32(ESV)
 32Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as
God in Christ forgave you.
 And just as God through Christ forgave me
o We need to walk in a similar fashion 1 John 2:6(ESV)
 6whoever says he abides in him ought to walk in the same way in which
he walked.
 Today who are you walking like?
o Like yourself or like Christ?
o Am I the only one who sometimes has a hard time forgiving?
 Why is that?
 I think it’s a matter of perspective
 We lose sight of what God has done for us in His forgiveness
o We forget about Good Friday and focus on Resurrection
Sunday
o But Jesus died an unjust death for me
 Because I’m a sinner
 And it was the only way I could be saved
o By Jesus’ death I was saved!
 I was forgiven… I redeemed
 And so instead of looking at Jesus’ sacrifice
 We look at what’s done to us…
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o That flesh comes roaring back… wanting it’s due
o Wanting it’s pound of flesh
 You see while it’s in God’s nature to forgive
o And our flesh struggles against that
o Matthew 18:23-35(ESV)
 And then tells a parable about forgiveness
 23“Therefore the kingdom of heaven may be compared to a king
who wished to settle accounts with his servants.
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When he began to settle, one was brought to him who owed him
ten thousand talents.
o Ok… now some of you may be asking what’s a talent
 It’s a measurement of Gold… which is no longer used
 Let me try to put it in perspective for you
 When Moses was making the first Tabernacle in the desert the first
dwelling place for God
o Exodus 38:24 (ESV)
 24All the gold that was used for the work, in all the
construction of the sanctuary, the gold from the
offering, was twenty-nine talents and 730 shekels, by
the shekel of the sanctuary.
o He used 29 Talents of Gold
 Later when David was setting aside material for the first temple of
God
o 1 Chronicles 29:4(ESV)
 43,000 talents of gold, of the gold of Ophir, and 7,000
talents of refined silver, for overlaying the walls of the
house,
o Says he set aside 3,000 talents of God
 So when Jesus said the man owed 10,000 talents
 He’s saying it’s a lot… in fact in that language 10,000 was the
biggest number there was
 Basically it’s a number that would make a Washington politician
blush
o It’s that large… let’s say a Gazillian dollars
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o And since he could not pay, his master ordered him to be sold, with his wife
and children and all that he had, and payment to be made.
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So the servant fell on his knees, imploring him, ‘Have patience with me, and I
will pay you everything.’
 This man could not repay that amount in a hundred life times
 So the king did what was just and right for the time
o He made the man pay with everything he had
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o
o
o
o
o
o
o Including wives and children
 If the king was a cruel king
o He’d have the right to work the man to death
 And then torture him when he could no longer work
 Notice the man never denied owing him the money
o Never made an excuse
o He just fell down at his feet and begged for mercy
 But this king was not a bad or cruel king
 But he was a good and righteous king
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And out of pity for him, the master of that servant released him and forgave
him the debt.
 This king forgave him of the debt he owed
 And released him
 The man had come into the king…
 With his head ready to go on a platter
 And left with it held high
o Having received mercy for his debt
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But when that same servant went out, he found one of his fellow servants
who owed him a hundred denarii, and seizing him, he began to choke him,
saying, ‘Pay what you owe.’
 The wording here is harsh
 The word for went out… means he went looking with a purpose
 No sooner had the man been forgiven
 Than he went out looking for this guy that owed him money
 A hundred days wages
o Definitely repayable
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So his fellow servant fell down and pleaded with him, ‘Have patience with
me, and I will pay you.’
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He refused and went and put him in prison until he should pay the debt.
This man forgot the mercy which was shown him
 And had the man locked up
 Even though this man appealed with the same words as he had
done
 Even though the debt could have been repaid
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When his fellow servants saw what had taken place, they were greatly
distressed, and they went and reported to their master all that had taken
place.
 His fellow servants saw this and reported it to their master
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Then his master summoned him and said to him, ‘You wicked servant! I
forgave you all that debt because you pleaded with me.
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And should not you have had mercy on your fellow servant, as I had mercy
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on you?’
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And in anger his master delivered him to the jailers, until he should pay all
his debt.
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So also my heavenly Father will do to every one of you, if you do not forgive
your brother from your heart.”
o Notice Jesus says
 Look at all God has forgiven you
 You had a debt you could NOT repay
 And yet He forgave you at a great price to Himself
 And yet you couldn’t forgive
 Not only did you not forgive
o You actively sought out
 What if We don’t forgive
o Now first let me be clear
 This is NOT saying a believer loses his salvation IF he doesn’t forgive
 But what it does mean is
 If you hold onto unforgiveness in your heart
o You are holding sin in your life
o And as Jesus said in John 9:31(ESV)
 31We know that God does not listen to sinners, but if
anyone is a worshiper of God and does his will, God
listens to him.
 God doesn’t hear unrepentant sinners
o So He’s not talking about losing your salvation
 But the process of sanctification
 Becoming more like Jesus
 Will not continue… Until you confess your sins
 In the parable of the unforgiving servant
 When the king handed the man over to the torturers
o That’s what it’s like when we don’t forgive
 We get bitter
 We get angry
o A person who does not forgive
 No longer walks on the path to sanctification
 He no longer has the peace of God
o Because this is conditional remember
 Jesus said if you don’t forgive
 God will not forgive you
o Now this is to not to say
 We earn God’s forgiveness… by forgiving
 And so a unrepentant sinners life is a lonely… life
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o You have the knowledge that God will not hear you
 Unforgiveness is an ongoing sin
 Psalms 66:18(ESV)
 18 If I had cherished iniquity in my heart, the
Lord would not have listened.
 If we don’t forgive we will be chastened by God
o Not because He doesn’t love us…
 But because He does!
o Someone once said
 “Unforgiveness is a poison we drink… thinking it will harm the person we
refuse to forgive!
o Why is that so important to cast away these debts
 Because when we don’t forgive…
 When we expect payment for some wrong done to us
o Its physically damaging
 Psalms 32:2-5(ESV)
 2 Blessed is the man against whom the Lord
counts no iniquity, and in whose spirit there is no
deceit.
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For when I kept silent, my bones wasted
away through my groaning all day long.
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For day and night your hand was heavy upon
me; my strength was dried up as by the heat of
summer. Selah
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I acknowledged my sin to you, and I did not
cover my iniquity; I said, “I will confess my
transgressions to the Lord,” and you forgave the
iniquity of my sin. Selah
 David describes when he held on to sin…
o Didn’t confess his sin
o It brought physical suffering into his life
o When you don’t forgive
 Something starts to grow
 It becomes a root of bitterness inside you
 Hebrews 12:14-15(ESV)
 14Strive for peace with everyone, and for the
holiness without which no one will see the Lord.
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See to it that no one fails to obtain the grace of
God; that no “root of bitterness” springs up and
causes trouble, and by it many become defiled;
 You see sometimes people say they can forgive
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o But they hold on
o And what might have been a minor thing
 Becomes a root of bitterness
 You need to deal with it
o You need to go to turn it over to God in
pray
 Daily
 You need to go to that person
o In Christian love, not with a stick
o And confront them with their sin
 You can almost always spot unforgiving people
 They’re the ones who look like they swallowed a
lemon
 They also tend to be the most judgmental people
o In the church
o And the most bitter people in life
 In fact, there are times when we should forgive but NOT forget
o If a man is found to be a child molester
 And then comes to Christ
 He Confesses his sin
 Does his time
o He still would not be allowed to have anything to do with a
church’s nursery program
o Unforgiveness affects your worship
 Matthew 5:23-24(ESV)
 23So if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember
that your brother has something against you,
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leave your gift there before the altar and go. First be reconciled
to your brother, and then come and offer your gift.
 Remember Jesus said if you know your brother/sister has
something against you
o Stop what you’re doing in your worship
o And hash it out
o Your worship will not fulfill you
o You will miss out on an opportunity to bless others
 Romans 12:20(ESV)
 20To the contrary,“if your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty,
give him something to drink; for by so doing you will heap burning
coals on his head.”
 You see God is not only our Judge
o He is also our Father
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 If we have accepted His son to be our savior
o You see… you will always sin
 We will always fall short
 But we can depend on this… We cannot sin our way out of His
Hands
o As Romans 5:20(ESV)
 20Now the law came in to increase the trespass, but
where sin increased, grace abounded all the more,
o And there are times you cannot forgive on your own
 You need to cry out to God to help you
 I want to close with an account of Corrie Ten Boom and her experience in
forgiveness
“It was in a church in Munich that I saw him—a balding, heavyset man in a gray
overcoat, a brown felt hat clutched between his hands. People were filing out of the
basement room where I had just spoken, moving along the rows of wooden chairs to
the door at the rear. It was 1947 and I had come from Holland to defeated Germany
with the message that God forgives.
“It was the truth they needed most to hear in that bitter, bombed-out land, and I gave
them my favorite mental picture. Maybe because the sea is never far from a
Hollander’s mind, I liked to think that that’s where forgiven sins were thrown. ‘When we
confess our sins,’ I said, ‘God casts them into the deepest ocean, gone forever. …’
“The solemn faces stared back at me, not quite daring to believe. There were never
questions after a talk in Germany in 1947. People stood up in silence, in silence
collected their wraps, in silence left the room.
“And that’s when I saw him, working his way forward against the others. One moment I
saw the overcoat and the brown hat; the next, a blue uniform and a visored cap with its
skull and crossbones. It came back with a rush: the huge room with its harsh overhead
lights; the pathetic pile of dresses and shoes in the center of the floor; the shame of
walking naked past this man. I could see my sister’s frail form ahead of me, ribs sharp
beneath the parchment skin. Betsie, how thin you were!
[Betsie and I had been arrested for concealing Jews in our home during the Nazi
occupation of Holland; this man had been a guard at Ravensbruck concentration camp
where we were sent.]
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“Now he was in front of me, hand thrust out: ‘A fine message, Fräulein! How good it is
to know that, as you say, all our sins are at the bottom of the sea!’
“And I, who had spoken so glibly of forgiveness, fumbled in my pocketbook rather than
take that hand. He would not remember me, of course—how could he remember one
prisoner among those thousands of women?
“But I remembered him and the leather crop swinging from his belt. I was face-to-face
with one of my captors and my blood seemed to freeze.
“ ‘You mentioned Ravensbruck in your talk,’ he was saying, ‘I was a guard there.’ No,
he did not remember me.
“ ‘But since that time,’ he went on, ‘I have become a Christian. I know that God has
forgiven me for the cruel things I did there, but I would like to hear it from your lips as
well. Fräulein,’ again the hand came out—’will you forgive me?’
“And I stood there—I whose sins had again and again to be forgiven—and could not
forgive. Betsie had died in that place—could he erase her slow terrible death simply for
the asking?
“It could not have been many seconds that he stood there—hand held out—but to me it
seemed hours as I wrestled with the most difficult thing I had ever had to do.
“For I had to do it—I knew that. The message that God forgives has a prior condition:
that we forgive those who have injured us. ‘If you do not forgive men their trespasses,’
Jesus says, ‘neither will your Father in heaven forgive your trespasses.’
“I knew it not only as a commandment of God, but as a daily experience. Since the end
of the war I had had a home in Holland for victims of Nazi brutality. Those who were
able to forgive their former enemies were able also to return to the outside world and
rebuild their lives, no matter what the physical scars. Those who nursed their bitterness
remained invalids. It was as simple and as horrible as that.
“And still I stood there with the coldness clutching my heart. But forgiveness is not an
emotion—I knew that too. Forgiveness is an act of the will, and the will can function
regardless of the temperature of the heart. ‘… Help!’ I prayed silently. ‘I can lift my
hand. I can do that much. You supply the feeling.’
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CBC 5-11-2014
“And so woodenly, mechanically, I thrust my hand into the one stretched out to me.
And as I did, an incredible thing took place. The current started in my shoulder, raced
down my arm, sprang into our joined hands. And then this healing warmth seemed to
flood my whole being, bringing tears to my eyes.
“ ‘I forgive you, brother!’ I cried. ‘With all my heart!’
“For a long moment we grasped each other’s hands, the former guard and the former
prisoner. I had never known God’s love so intensely, as I did then”
The bottom line is you CANNOT truly experience God’s Love until truly appreciate His
forgiveness and demonstrate that by forgiving others
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