Kevin Purnama
October 6, 2015
Seminar 126G
Theodora Dimitrakopoulos
Word Count : 1860
Factor to Define Yourselves
Our identity is a crucial aspect of ourselves that just cannot be formed in one
day. It also something that can only last long into our memory if the mind and soul
already agrees to it. In short, it takes a lot of requirement to form our identities, even
though we probably do not feel like it. The most circmstantial time for a human to
build your identity is at pre-school, teenage years, or even under 21 years old.
Everyone got their own special traits that could develop between stages. But, all of
those skills or personality also can be formed by three factors, gender, media, and the
society. Those three aspects can influence us to formed the identity that shaped us to
who people are now.
There is also a lot of factor that will shapes identity. One of them is about
gender, sometimes we see it as a normal occurrence that when a man separate
themselves than woman. For example is when men is set to not wear a skirt, or for
men to give birth. Sadly there are some of the behavioral attitude that people will not
frowned upon by it. Even though fundamentally if we see each other the same way, it
is not an equal thing to do. Take for example Kathy Wilson, in her article “Dude
Looks Like a Lady”, the moment that she was mistaken as a guy because she has a
bald hair, flat chested, and she is an African-American. The Wilson story, there are a
local ice cream clerk who is Caucasian and mistaken her as a man. As he ask, “What
can I get ya, sir ?” (22) Even the simple case of being mistaken as someone else
because of the looks, is one of the little factor of identity definer.
Accordingly, there are three aspect that affect our identity. Gender, Internet
and social media, the society in general, and the last but not least is the closest social
circle which can be classified as our best friends, parents, and people who we meet
and eventually earn a place in our minds. The social circle can help or break people
with their influence, physically and mentally. Parents can abandon their children, and
the way they grew up will be different compare thru kids with a caring parent. Our
closest friend can introduce us to drugs or into a new photography class.
All of those factor have a major effect for us, in a sense that if we fall into the
negative exposure of the said factor. Just as pointed out by Michelle Lee from the
article “Ten Fashion Victim Commandments”. The three aspects will affect us in a
great way or more permanently. As Lee describe the reason of the existence of so
called “fashion victim” and it shows the need of desire and emotion of them and being
manipulated by the fashion maker because of it, she writes “Without so much as a
raised eyebrow, we allow a set of ridiculous, yet compelling, rules to govern our
wardrobes, our purchases, our desires, even our own sense of self worth. (21)”
Certainly there has to be a factor that will let us to make ourselves fall to these
‘ridiculous’ rules that definitely has a little bit more depth outside the world of
fashion. The one that makes those ‘rules’ seems from what society thinks as ‘normal’.
The influence from internet, social media, and closest people can influence us to make
the action can be taken for granted for all of us.
The first factor that affect the identity is the device that we use most.
Especially for urban trotters, those kind of people will never lost the smart devices
from their hands. It is acknowledgeable it as the most revolutionary game changer in
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the 21st century. It is the internet, with one touch press and click we can access
basically the world. The technology really defines the meaning of the world ‘online’.
People can get a relatively unfiltered information from all over the world. The internet
brings benefit to almost the entire scope of the human socialization. In the past things
use to be a little bit different. Before, every scholar favorite place was the library, if
the want to look for an educated, academic information. Present day, they do not have
to do that anymore. Even a 7- year old kid can find information a high schooler use to
be the only to be dreamed of. From the book “Can't Buy My Love: How Advertising
Changes the Way We Think and Feel” by Jean Killbourne it says “advertising
supports more than 60% of magazine and newspaper production and almost 100% of
the electronic media.” Killbourne implying the reasons why companies invest so
much money to the electronic media (i.e internet) to even 100%, all of that because
internet generates a lot of interest from society, especially younger audiences.
Without doubt internet is a really powerful tool as well to encouraging to change your
identity.
Thanks to the internet as well, the social media technology are born in the
world and invent a entirely brand new types of group altogether. Social media is a
section where people share on their personal life on the internet. In which really
brings an impact, even it can generate an entire new trend altogether. It is justified in
the movie “Miss Representation” which written, directed and produced by Jennifer
Siebel Newson; Jim Steyer the CEO Common Sense Media, Lawyer and Professor of
Civil Rights, Stanford University says: “Our kids today live on Facebook and
cellphones. The diversity of the platforms means that those images are impacting your
kid 24/7 and whatever restrictions existed when we were growing up simply don't
exist today (1:35).” From the documentary as well. Jackson Katz, educator, film-
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maker, author said in terms of media and internet “People learn from the media more
than any other source of information, so if you want to understand what goes on in
our society, in the 21st century, we have to understand media. (:46)” Katz generate a
strong statement here, it is generally a rule of thumb that the information on the
internet are mostly free and unfiltered. There are points that we are looking at the
information that doesn’t really meant to anyone. In the free world of the internet,
everything is mostly available with no charge. It could be really dangerous, especially
for a little child who will absorb every information that pops in their head like a
sponge. Probably they will see the information that may not be suitable for their age,
and then take it for granted. One of the examples of the influence is the popularity of
violent games. It is known as well that in general violent games have age restriction
fitted on them. But with the freedom of information on the internet, that restriction
can be just easily defeated. And that’s just a tip on the iceberg. Because with internet,
little children can just take a violent action game that is not suitable for them for free
with illegal methods and play it. The worst effect which is they would implement the
method that they learn, such as crude language and violent behavior, and they will do
that in public, because children thought those actions are normal, they saw it thru their
games the whole time
In the less physical way, internet could be somebody double edged sword, as
in the social media people can influence other to no end, especially teenagers, to a
good cause, or a not so good one. In the end the social media or internet, because of
its power and influence could be ended up as a good tool for people to share their
ideas, and communicate with others. Or it could be a starting point of a non-physical
intimidation process. It could start because of somebody’s life choices or appearances,
or even disability that for the society is not ‘normal’. Because of that people will think
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of the person as a acceptable targets or an entertainment that could probably generates
depression or hatred to themselves.
The intimidation attempt or in modern times we call it ‘bullying’ could started
way before the social media exist. It is started in person, and some bad words got
shared and in the end a feud started. From Lucy Grealy in the book “Mask”. The
author, Grealy were hit with a lot of social friction at her elementary because of her
cancer that resulted with a distortion of her face. The moment when she preparing to
go to a junior high after suffering with so much mockery in elementary she says
“Everyone must have been nervous, but I was sure I was the only one who felt true
apprehension.” (45) The society is not actually that daunting to everyone. Sadly,
identity could be challenged by the society as well by the intimidation effect. It could
ended up ruining somebody’s identity or define them, for the better or worse. For
Grealy, she met many people that judged her both physically and mentally toward her
years. All of the major influence in identity doesn’t actually pre set your destiny. Do
them right and we can experience another different memory that will define who we
are. But one wrong move could make the person to probably go into a depression.
Greally ended up dying because of a painkiller addiction in the year 2002.
Society usually start challenging the identity if they find out that that person
behavior or attitude Is different from the others. It is really difficult for the society to
just accept it all. Just like in Grealy case, she was intimidated for looking odd, people
starts making fun of her in expense of her dignity. To the rate that being un-noticed
and be seen without any comments toward her is a surprise for her. This is what she
says when Grealy don a Halloween costume and travel like an ordinary person : “I felt
wonderful. It was only as the night were on and the moon came out and the older kids,
the big kids, went on their rounds that I began to realize why I felt so good. No one
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could see me clearly. No one could see my face. (43)” Grealy felt happy, because
people unable to judge her wellbeing because with the outfit she blends it like others
on the Halloween day. She feels normalcy like others.
People closest to ourselves also have a hefty impact in about defining the
identity. From the moment we are born, to the time we enjoy our childhood, a parent
figure must be present in our lifes. From that figure, and within that age, we would
imitate our parents. In every single aspect that we can observe, we will at somepoint
duplicate what our parent have done. That factor is also known with the parents who
want to make their children, the term that risen from Lee’s “Fashion Victims Ten
Commandments” – which is “ “You give what you want to receive.”. People choose
items for other (children) that reflect their own taste.” (72). It applies to friends,
person we see most. At some point our behavior will at least, inspired by people
closest to us. As for a parent figure or somebody who has someone close to them and
they still at the essential learning age. Try to behave like you want to be. Because in
later time, your action could bite back to you, whether in a good way or not.
Works Cited
Grealy, Lucy. Autobiography of a Face. Boston: Houghton Mifflin, 1994. Print.
Kilbourne, Jean. Can't Buy My Love: How Advertising Changes the Way We Think
and Feel. Vol. 10. N.p.: Free, 2000. Print.
Lee, Michelle. Fashion Victim: Our Love-hate Relationship with Dressing, Shopping,
and the Cost of Style. New York: Broadway, 2003. Print.
Miss Representation. Prod. Jennifer Siebel Nielson. Dir. Jennifer Siebel Nielson. Perf.
Margaret Cho and Geena Davis. Girls' Club Entertainment, 2011. DVD.
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Wilson, Kathy Y. "Dude Looks Like A Lady." Your Negro Tour Guide: Truths in
Black and White. Cincinnati, OH: Emmis, 2004. N. pag. Print.
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