SYNTHESIS
MINI-ESSAY
REFLECTIONS
WARM UP 1/5/2016
• Take a minute and look over your essay. In
your student notebook, write down three
things you can work on in your next essay.
WHAT I NOTICED:
WAYS TO IMPROVE
1. Transitioning between ideas
2. Introducing textual evidence
3. Citing textual evidence
4. Use of topic sentences
5. Extending your analysis
6. Formal Writing
6
TRANSITIONING
BETWEEN IDEAS
• Transitions provide the reader with directions for how to
piece together your ideas into a logically coherent argument.
• Transitions are not just verbal decorations that embellish
your paper by making it sound or read better. They are
words with particular meanings that tell the reader to think
and react in a particular way to your ideas.
• In providing the reader with these important cues,
transitions help readers understand the logic of how your
ideas fit together.
• Effectively constructing each transition often depends upon
your ability to identify words or phrases that will indicate
for the reader the kind of logical relationships you want to
convey.
TRANSITIONING
BETWEEN IDEAS
INTRODUCING
TEXTUAL EVIDENCE
• Set up every quotation. An essay writer always wants to be sure it
is clear to the reader where a quotation comes from, who is
speaking, what is being described, etc. Do not simply state your
point and then follow it with a quotation without making clear
how that quotation supports your argument.
AWKWARD: Jordan demonstrates little curiosity about Gatsby.
"He's just a man named Gatsby" (49).
BETTER: Jordan demonstrates little curiosity about Gatsby.
When Nick asks her about their mysterious host, she replies
simply, "He's just a man named Gatsby" (49).
INTRODUCING
TEXTUAL EVIDENCE
Use quotations economically. Part of using evidence
successfully and demonstrating that you know the text
well involves choosing quotations carefully. A writer
who quotes six lines where four words would do,
reveals that s/he has not analyzed the text with
sufficient care. Often it is not necessary to quote an
entire sentence; individual phrases can often provide
concise and forceful support.
INTRODUCING
TEXTUAL EVIDENCE
TOO WORDY:
From the moment Nick encounters Jordan, he is impressed by her
independence. He sees her sitting "full length on the divan, completely
motionless, and with her chin raised a little as if she were balancing
something on it which was quite likely to fall;" and he is "almost
surprised into murmuring an apology for having disturbed her by
coming in" (89).When Jordan does nod "imperceptibly and then
quickly [tip] her head back again the object she was balancing had
obviously tottered a little and given her something of a fright,"" again
a sort of apology arose to [Nicks] lips" (9). He comments, "almost any
exhibition of complete self-sufficiency draws a stunned tribute from
me" (9).
INTRODUCING
TEXTUAL EVIDENCE
BETTER:
From the moment Nick encounters Jordan, he is impressed by her
independence. He is initially struck by an urge to apologize for
intruding upon the "motionless" young woman who sits as though
balancing something on her chin, for any "exhibition of complete selfsufficiency draws a stunned tribute" from him (8).
Although you want to be economical in your use of quotations, do
not fall into the trap of sacrificing clarity in the name of brevity. If
you need a longer quotation to make your point, use it. Don't leave
your reader wondering how a quotation is connected to the point
you are making. It is almost never appropriate or effective for a
quotation to stand alone as its own sentence without any setup or
introductory phrase.
INTRODUCING
TEXTUAL EVIDENCE
• Avoid unnecessary phrases. With practice, it becomes possible
to incorporate supporting quotations into one's writing
without preceding them with phrases which identify them as
evidence. Phrases such as, "This quotation demonstrates
that," or "the following lines show the reader that," are
generally unnecessary and awkward.
• If you want to make clear the position of a quotation in the
text, do not write that "on page 41 Gatsby says...”Instead,
mention what is taking place at that point in the novel:
"when Nick first meets Gatsby.” This will both help you
maintain a formal tone and be more concise.
INTRODUCING
TEXTUAL EVIDENCE
AWKWARD: In addition to a charismatic personality,
Gatsby also possesses great physical grace and agility. As the
following quotation points out: "He was balancing himself
on the dashboard of his car with that resourcefulness of
movement that is so peculiarly American" (64).
BETTER: In addition to a charismatic personality, Gatsby
also possesses great physical grace and agility. Nick
comments upon this as he watches Gatsby "balancing himself
on the dashboard of his car with that resourcefulness of
movement that is so peculiarly American" (64).
CITING TEXTUAL
EVIDENCE
BASIC MLA RULES FOR IN-TEXT CITATIONS: Author’s name
and page number must appear in the text, unless you are only writing
about one book. The punctuation goes after the parentheses while the
quotation marks are before the parentheses.
You can do this two ways. First, by including the author and work in
your writing:
In Things Fall Apart, Chinua Achebe describes Okonkwo’s short
temper by stating “whenever he was angry and could not get
his words out quick enough, he would use his fists” (4).
You can also put author’s name in the citation:
Unoka’s shortcomings directly impacted Okonkwo; for
example, “With a father like Unoka, Okonkwo did not have
the start in life which many young men had” (Achebe 18).
TOPIC SENTENCES
• The topic sentence should identify the main idea and point of
the paragraph.
• The supporting details in the paragraph (the sentences other
than the topic sentence) will develop or explain the topic
sentence.
• The topic sentence should not be too general or too specific.
• The topics sentence should always connect back to the thesis.
• In fact, topic sentences often act like tiny thesis statements.
Like a thesis statement, a topic sentence makes a claim of
some sort. As the thesis statement is the unifying force in the
essay, so the topic sentence must be the unifying force in the
paragraph. Further, as is the case with the thesis statement,
when the topic sentence makes a claim, the paragraph which
follows must expand, describe, or prove it in some way.
EXTENDING ANALYSIS
You have all shown improvement in choosing relevant quotes to
help support your thesis. But what do we DO about these quotes?
Explain your quote! What does this evidence mean? How does it
connect to your thesis?
Most of you did this, but need to show more depth of thought and
make the connection clear to the reader.
EXTENDING ANALYSIS
“Only one kind of daughter can live in this house! Obedient
daughter” (Tan 24). This quote shows the mom’s values and
beliefs about the daughter.
This is basic analysis, and is better than nothing. First off, you do
not need to write ‘this quote shows…’ Let your analysis make it
clear that you are analyzing the quote. Next, try to directly link it
back to the thesis, even using words or phrases from the thesis in
your analysis. This is the most important part of the essay, as it is
YOUR thoughts and connections about the thesis. You can choose
great quotes, but if they do all the work for you, you’re not
showing off your ability to understand and analyze text.
EXTENDING ANALYSIS
“Only one kind of daughter can live in this house. Obedience
daughter” (Tan 24). By stressing the importance of obedience,
Jing-Mei’s mother is communicating her own values as well as the
expectations she has for Jing-Mei. She wants to make her own
choices and be her own person, but Jing-Mei’s cultural identity is
shaped by her mother valuing obedience, and every decision she
makes about what she wants to do with her life will be affected
and impacted by her mother’s values. As she grows up, these
values will significantly impact the way she interacts with the
world around her.
FORMAL WRITING
• Using first-person expressions in analytical and
persuasive essays can make the writing wordy, can
make the writer seem less confident of his or her
ideas, and can give the essay an informal tone.
• Readers will know that they are reading your
thoughts, beliefs, or opinions, so you do not need
to state, "I think that," "I believe that," or "in my
opinion." Simply delete these expressions from
sentences, and you will be left with stronger
sentences.
FORMAL WRITING
Example
INFORMAL: I think that this character is confused.
FORMAL: This character is confused.
(The second sentence is less wordy, sounds more formal, and
conveys a more confident tone.)
"One," "the reader," "readers," "the viewer," or something
similar sometimes can be used effectively in place of first-person
pronouns in formal papers, but be careful not to overuse these
expressions. You want to sound formal, not awkward and stiff.
Example
INFORMAL: I can sense the character's confusion.
FORMAL: Readers can sense the character's confusion.