Narrative Essay
Central Idea and Concrete Details
Main idea and concrete
details

Although Chubby acted somewhat
rudely to me, I gained tremendous
happiness due to feeling needed by
her. She would leap back and forth
pleasantly when offered fruit and
vegetables. Moreover, her tiny round
head always appeared from the nest
as I called her name. She also loved to
welcome me with her melodious chirps.
Main idea and concrete
details
 (re-arranging the sequence)
 Although Chubby acted somewhat
 Although Chubby acted somewhat
 Although
Chubby
acted somewhat
rudely to
me, I gained
tremendous
rudelytotome,
me,I felt
I gained
tremendous
rudely
needed
by her.
As I She
happiness in feeling needed
by her.
happiness
due to
feeling
needed
by
called
her
name,
her
tiny
round
head
would leap back and forth pleasantly
her. She
wouldout
leap
back
andright
forth
always
popped
of
the
nest
when offered fruit and vegetables.
pleasantly
when
offered
fruit andme
away.
She
also
loved
to
welcome
Moreover, her tiny round head always
vegetables.
Moreover,
herWhen
tiny round
with
her
melodious
chirps.
offered
popped out of the nest as I called
her
head
always
appeared
from
theleap
nest
fruit
and
vegetables,
She
would
name. She also loved to welcome me
as I and
called
herpleasantly.
name. She(When
also loved
to
back
forth
not
with her melodious chirps.
welcome
herdetails.)
melodious chirps.
being
fed? me
A bitwith
more
Main idea & concrete details

No one could awake me from my sleepiness,
even thought Elvis Presley was now
standing in front of me and singing “Love
Me Tender” to me. Nothing could draw my
attention at this moment, except for a hot
spring shower, and a king-size water bed.
However, things just never go as smoothly
as we like. A man’s voice continuously
came to my ears. I would feel better if he
was singing a lovely lullaby with soft voice,
but anyway, his voice was not charming at
all, and even kind of harsh to my poor ears.
Main idea & concrete details
 No one could awake me from my
 No one could awake me from my
sleepiness, even
even ifif Elvis
Elvis Presley
Presley had
has been
been
sleepiness,
standing
No one could
awake
me and
from singing
my sleepiness,
in
front
of
me
“Love
standing
in
front
of
me
and
singing
“Love
even
thoughttoElvis
Presley
was now
Me
Tender”
me.
Nor
could
anything
Me
Tender”
to
me.
Nor
could
anything
standing in front of me and singing “Love
draw
my
attention
at
that
moment,
except
draw
my
attention
at
that
moment,
except
Me Tender” to me. Nothing could draw my
for
hot spring
spring
bath and
andexcept
king-size
water
attention
at this moment,
for a hot
for
aa hot
bath
aa king-size
water
bed.
Against
my
wish,
however,
man’s
spring
shower,
and
a king-size
water
bed.
bed.
Against
my
wish,
however,
aa man’s
voice
continuously
came
to my
ears.low
I
However,
things
just
never
go
as smoothly
voice
came
to my
ears
continuously,
as we have
like. Afelt
man’s
voice
continuously
would
better
if
he
been sang
but coarse. Not soothing ashad
a lullaby
came toamy
ears.lullaby
I wouldwith
feel better
ifvoice,
he
singing
lovely
a
soft
inwas
a soft
voice,
the voice
disturbed
me as a
singing
a
lovely
lullaby
with
soft
voice,
but his voice
was
not charming
at all, and
mosquito
flying
around
me.
but anyway, his voice was not charming at
even
kind
of
harsh
to
my
poor
ears.
all, and even kind of harsh to my poor ears.
VoiceRedundant
Concrete details &
avoiding rep.

In a chilly afternoon several years ago, my
home was suddenly invaded by a skinny
lovebird. This furry creature with untidy
feathers shivered in the warm kitchen. Her
spiritless big eyes expressed her hunger
and desire for a sweet home. Facing such a
poor wanderer, I could not help grabbing my
purse and heading to the nearest bird shop
to buy her some nutritious food.
Concrete details &
avoiding rep.

In a chilly afternoon several years ago, my
home was suddenly invaded by a skinny
lovebird. This furry creature with untidy
feathers shivered in the warm kitchen. Her
spiritless big eyes expressed her hunger
and desire for a sweet home. Facing such a
poor wanderer, I could not help grabbing my
purse and heading to the nearest bird shop
to buy her some nutritious food.
Avoid Sweeping
Generalization

People spend their time on their brilliant
career rather than paying sympathy for
others. A blind person can never go out
without taking his guide dog with him,
because only a few people will notice him
and even, only part of them will help him.
Human warmness, which is supposed to
exist, seems to be something out of the
ordinary; on the contrary, indifference takes
the place where warmness and enthusiasm
should be.
Avoid Sweeping
Generalization

 Thanks
People
to
the rapid
improvement
of
spend
their time
on their brilliant
information
technology,
today’s
adults
career rather
than paying
sympathy
fortend
to
be busier
with
their work,
and children,
others.
A blind
person
can never
go out
with
theirtaking
selection
of electronic
without
his guide
dog withgames
him, and
websites. We may be reserved to give a
because
onlya ahand,
few people
willlatter
noticecannot
him
blind
person
when the
andwhether
even, only
of light
themorwill
tell
it is part
green
redhelp
lighthim.
in
Human
warmness,
which is supposed
front
of him
at an intersection.
Human to
exist, seems
be something
out
of hearts,
the
warmness
cantoalso
vanish from
our
which
ordinary;
are on
numbed
the contrary,
by the many
indifference
disasters
takes
and
killingswhere
covered
on the newspapers
on
the place
warmness
and enthusiasm
daily
basis.
should
be. Indifference, then, seems to set
in and occupies us.