Infant/Adult Relationships: The
Foundation for Learning
J. Ronald Lally, Co-Director
WestEd Center for Child & Family Studies
Leadership Connections
May 17, 2013, Chicago, Ill.
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Relationships Are Essential
to Growth
Early relationships are so crucial to
the map of the brain that, after a
caregiver’s provision of basic needs
for food, health and safety, they
are the primary environmental
ingredient for healthy brain
development.
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The Importance of Daily Interaction
Early development is directly
influenced by the tenor of
babies interactions with their
caregivers. The quality of
what happens to babies
during day-to-day care is of
prime importance to future
functioning.
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The Science
During the first three years of life, the brain
builds crucial structures and pathways of
emotional functioning that serve as the
fundament for future social/emotional
development and as the bedrock for the
language and intellectual development
that follows.
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Humans in Relationships
Regulate One Another
“The mammalian nervous system depends, for
its neurophysiologic stability, on a system of
interactive coordination wherein steadiness
comes from synchronization with nearby
attachment figures.”
Source: “A General Theory of Love” by Thomas Lewis, Fari Amini, & Richard
Lannon.
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Emotions Drive Learning
Emotional competence establishes the
foundation for success in all other
developmental domains.
— Stanley Greenspan
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Growth of Intellect and Language
Intellectual and
language development
are stimulated by and
cannot be segregated
from early emotional
development and in fact
build on and are
informed by the first
interactions babies have
with their primary
caregivers.
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It is the pleasure and delight that babies get
from interaction with people that drives them
to
relate to people more frequently and more
skillfully. Emotional motive drives skill
development.
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Role of the Caregiver In Relationships
Gives simultaneous attention to
the vulnerable and competent
sides of the young child.
It encompasses the new “three
Rs” of childrearing:
• Responsiveness
• Relationship
• Respect
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The Image of the Child - Vulnerability
The young child is dependent on
adults for:
• physical survival,
• emotional security,
• safe base for learning,
• regulating, modeling and
mentoring social behavior,
• information and exchanges
about the workings of the
world and rules for living.
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The Image of the Child - Competent
•
•
•
•
•
•
Curious, motivated, self starting
An imitator, interpreter, integrator
An explorer, inventor
A communication initiator
A meaning seeker
A relationship builder
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The Importance of Responsiveness in
Relationships
“’Feeling felt’ may be an essential ingredient
in attachment relationships. Having the
sense that someone else feels one’s feelings
and is able to respond contingently to one’s
communication may be vital to close
relationships . . . .”
Siegel, D. J. (1999). The developing mind: How relationships and the
brain interact to shape who we are. New York: The Guilford Press.
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Responsive, Reciprocal Relationships with
Young Children
The adult focuses on:
Dialogue that fosters sharing attention
with the child
Dialogue that is not intrusive or
demanding, but gives the child time
and space to solve problems
Dialogue that engages the child in
learning and meaning making
Dialogue that communicates respect
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The Caregiver’s Role: Creating Responsive
Relationships
sensitivity to the needs and messages of the
baby,
timeliness in responding to those messages
(particularly messages of distress),
accurate reading of a child’s cues, and
the provision of appropriate levels of
stimulation.
Belsky & Fearon, 2008
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Babies Need Both
Predictability and Novelty
• The young child is wired emotionally to
expect that they will have their needs
met by those who care for them and
that their signals will be understood and
addressed.
• At the same time the child is wired
intellectually to respond to experiences
that violate their expectations. The
new, the novel, the surprising grabs their
attention.
• Both parts of the child need to be
addressed
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What Does Good Communication
With Babies Look Like?
Spontaneous, significant
communication that flows freely.
It is balanced between continuity
familiarity, and predictability on
one side and
flexibility, novelty, and uncertainty
on the other.
“Neither partner of a dyad is fully
predictable, yet each is quite
familiar.”
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The Very Young Baby
Starting at this stage, babies start to use
messages from caregivers to develop
perceptions of whether they are lovable
or unlovable based on how caregivers
have responded to them and develop
internal working models for how to
engage others based on these
perceptions.
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Starting at this stage, babies start to use
messages from caregivers to develop
perceptions of whether they are lovable or
unlovable based on how caregivers have
responded to them up to this point and
develop internal working models for how to
engage others based on these perceptions.
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Building a Self Through Interaction
The quality of the care babies
receive from their primary
caregivers influences the babies
ability to successfully or
unsuccessfully:
attach to other human beings,
regulate their impulses,
learn how to communicate with
others, and
search for an intellectual
understanding of the world into
which they are born.
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Emotion Regulation of Infants
“. . . Effective regulation of the infant is only
possible within a supportive caregiving system.
. . . By providing appropriate and changing
stimulation in response to perceptions of infant
state, moods, and interests, caregivers not
only help keep arousal within manageable
bounds, but they also entrain the infant’s own
capacities for regulation.”
Sroufe, L. A., Egeland, B., Carlson, E. A., & Collins, W. A. (2005). The development of
the person: The Minnesota study of risk and adaptation from birth to adulthood.
New York: The Guilford Press.
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What the Baby Learns about Self
from Interaction
I am listened to or not.
What I choose to do is valued or it
isn’t.
How I express my emotions is
accepted or it isn’t.
I am allowed to explore or I am not.
Mostly my needs are met or they
are not.
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What the Mobile Infant Is Learning In
Relationships
It’s common to see 9 to 15 month old babies
in motion throughout the day, repeatedly
setting out on “adventures” in their
environment, returning to the “safe home
base” that their caregivers provide, and then
leaving again. They move away for selfinterest and return for support and
connection, learning a great deal about how
to separate and stay connected.
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What The Mobile Infant Is Learning In
Relationships
The brain is preparing for life that doesn’t
revolve entirely around caregiver support, a
time when, for example, children will have to
use the lessons they’ve learned from
caregivers to independently identify risks like a
poisonous berry on a bush,an un-gated
stairway or a hostile stranger.
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Relationships with the Mobile Exploring
Infant
Based on adults’ reactions to children’s
actions children are gaining an understanding
of which independent explorations are
socially appropriate and which dangers they
should avoid in the environment, from the
point of view of their caregivers.
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Emotion Regulation of Toddlers
“. . .the adaptation of the toddler period
remains fundamentally a dyadic adaptation. .
. as [is] true for infants, toddlers require
responsive and consistent involvement by
caregivers to remain regulated. . . [toddlers]
are not capable of self regulation, but within a
supportive relationship, they are capable of
‘guided self-regulation’.”
Source: Sroufe, L. A., Egeland, B., Carlson, E. A., & Collins, W. A. (2005). The
development of the person: The Minnesota study of risk and adaptation from birth
to adulthood. New York: The Guilford Press.
WestEd.org
Relationships With The Older Toddler
With the help of their caregivers, and based
on their relationships with others, including
peers, they are learning to process information
that will prepare them to develop moral and
ethical codes, to better control their impulses
and emotions, and to learn the rules of the
culture, society, and family into which they
were born.
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Relationships With The Older Toddler
This age child is very sensitive to the judgments
of others. Based on their interactions with
others they will form opinions of themselves
and their worth, begin to judge the behaviors
of others, and feel shame and embarrassment
with regard to their behaviors and
appearance.
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Domain: Social-Emotional Development
1. Interaction with
adults
2. Relationships with
adults
3. Interactions with
peers
4. Relationships with
peers
5. Identity of self in
relation to others
6. Recognition of
ability
7. Expression of
emotion
8. Empathy
9. Emotion
regulation
10. Impulse control
11. Social
understanding
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Domain: Cognitive
Development
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
Cause and effect
Spatial relationships
Problem solving
Imitation
Memory
6.
7.
8.
9.
Number sense
Classification
Symbolic play
Attention
Maintenance
10. Understanding of
personal care
routines
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Domain: Language Development
1.
2.
3.
4.
Receptive language
Expressive language
Communication skills and knowledge
Interest in print
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Learning Styles Developed
What is created during the first three years
of life is a brain structure which influences:
• the courage to engage in the
challenge of learning,
• the ability to persist while learning,
• the willingness to imitate adult models
of learning, and
• the confidence to come to adults for
help.
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Early childhood mental health is not the
absence of mental illness but rather the
presence of a feeling of safety and emotional
security, comfort in connecting with trusted
others, confidence in ones developmental
trajectory, an expectation that dependency
needs will be met, and an assumption of one’s
right to move, explore and communicate.
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We Must Remember….
“How you are is as important
as what you do….”
Jeree Pawl, 1998
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Learning
begins in relationships,
is
informed by relationships,
and is
stimulated by relationships
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