Effective Leadership &
Motivation
Soft Skills Training for Women in Construction
Learning Objectives…
 Understand the importance of the influence and negotiate for your
working well-being
 Review a range of strategies available to influence, negotiate, build
and manage relationships
 Share ideas and practical tips for immediate use
Influence & Negotiation…
“The power to produce an effect, the ability to affect person’s
character, beliefs or actions.”
“Interaction that occur when two, or more parties, attempt to
agree on a mutually acceptable outcome in a situation where
their preferences are related in a negative way.”
Why do we need to
INFLUENCE & NEGOTIATE?
 Balance of power
 Different interests
 Need to live with others
 Long-term consequences
 Building the right image
Influencing skills
 The difference between influencing and manipulation
 Influencing is creating a change in behaviour, attitude, opinion or perception
 Manipulation is creating a change in behaviour, attitude, opinion or
perception with no regard for other outcomes
 Avoiding manipulation - we should always seek to influence by dovetailing
our objective or outcome with the other persons’ outcomes
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History
 There are many changes in the past that have contributed for the
improving of women’s economic status (in America women make 75 cents
out of every dollar a man makes)
 In the UK men earn quarter of a million pounds more than women in their
lifetime
 Women don’t ask, or wait too long, to ask for better working conditions
 Studies show men asked 8 times more often for a higher salary than simply
accepting the initial offer
 Men and women start, more or less, on similar salaries, but over the years,
the difference in the earnings increases
Do women differ?
 Compared to men, women often don’t see negotiation as an opportunity for
improving a given situation
 Women worry about the impact of their decisions
 They feel bad or uncomfortable at the thought of negotiating
 Both genders consider competitive nature in negotiation (i.e. aggressive) as an
unfeminine behaviour
Pack up & go home?
 Listening and affirming
 Perspective taking
 Creativity
 Sensitivity
 Research orientated
 Willingness to ask questions and hear the answers
 More collaborative approach in general
 All of the above have been identified as key female traits
Getting results - options…
 Imposed - I decide
 Consulted - I seek opinion and then I decide
 Negotiated - We decide (mixed power)
 Working towards a “win-win” situation
What is negotiation?
Conferring with another in order to compromise
 The outcomes of negotiations
 Strategy
 Negotiation and the influencing process
 Planning your negotiations
 Techniques during negotiations
 Understanding the other persons’ communication
Outcomes
Generally speaking there are 3 possible outcomes from negotiation:
A. Win-win situation - requires two-way communication
B. Win-lose situation - creates an “we” and “they” situation
C. Lose-lose situation – the objectives of neither party are met
The key in achieving outcome A is knowing the outcome you want to achieve
from the beginning.
Setting outcomes
 Identify and define the outcome that you want, state it positively
 Create a clear vision/picture of it by using colours
 Create any sound that you need to go with it
 Imagine and decide the feelings that you want to stimulate with it
 Prepare your best case and worst case scenario, but not in the same way as your
preferred outcome
 Identify and define the possible benefits from the results
Strategy
Presumably your outcome is a WIN-WIN situation
 Find out the other peoples’ outcome, ask them the same questions: what will they
see, what will they hear, what will they feel
 Link your outcome to their interests, concentrate on their interests and the courses
of action that they could take to satisfy those interests, and which are the ones that
would most likely result in the outcome you prefer
 Generate possibilities, generate as many options or courses of action as possible
that may be available to the individual(s)
Planning your negotiations
 Planning is the foundation for successful negotiations
 Remember your resourceful state
 Separate the facts and opinions
 Choose neutral environment
 Assign appropriate amount of time to the meeting
 Set a range of potential objectives, rather than a single point
 Gather as much information as possible on the individuals that are to be
influenced, their values, beliefs (if possible), interests and link them to the
benefits
Negotiation Techniques
 Establish rapport
 Aim to keep the other person in a positive frame of mind
 Validate their proposal and detect their intentions
• Example: “That’s a good point, if I were in your shoes that would be important to me.” (then
restate their position, clarifying the outcome and detect the intentions (watch for any
nonverbal signs)
 Show respect for others’ feelings, opinions, values and beliefs, even if you disagree
 Never ridicule, insult, blame or accuse
Negotiation Techniques
 Control your emotions, but don’t be totally unemotional
 Logical reasoning - use a well reasoned case to support your argument without
pushing the other person in the corner
 Place yourself in the other persons’ shoes
 Ask: “What would have to happen for... this... to happen?”
 Label questions or suggestions e.g. “Let me ask a question…” or “Let me make
a suggestion…”
Negotiation Techniques
 State reasons for making a proposal, then make the proposal. This is important!
If you give a reason any objection will be focused on the reason and not on the
proposal.
 Let people make up their own mind
 Express feelings: e.g. “I’m feeling concerned about…”
 Emphasise on the areas of agreement
 Ask for time out if you need to think about some new option that has arisen
 If you get stuck:
A: do something else
B: use the “AS IF” technique
Understanding the way others communicate
 When we know that a person communicates in a
certain way, we can adjust the way we present
information and elicit information from them
 The result is usually beneficial for influencing and
communicating
 We can adjust our language so that we blend with
the other person
Negotiation Stages Structure
Planning
Opening
Bargaining
Closing
Implementing
Stage 1: Planning – the power stage
 Define the problem/opportunities
 Determine goals and objectives (yours and others)
 Best Alternative to a Negotiated Agreement (BATNA)
 Determine the bargaining mix
 Focus on the outcomes
The outcomes…
Tangible
Raise, price, delivery, quality, guarantees
Intangible
Making the other person or yourself happy
“Winning”
Being fair
Preserving your reputation/Integrity
Stage 1: Planning continues…
 Determine authority to negotiate
 Know thyself, and plan accordingly
 Research - knowledge is power
 Determine the structure, but not the order
 Be ready for things to go wrong
Stage 2: Opening
 Reaffirm desire for mutually beneficial outcome
 Get concerns or negativity out in the open
 Have a rationale for your opening bid
 Start as you plan to continue
Start as you plan to continue…
 Show respect for the other person's opinions
 If you are wrong, admit it quickly and emphatically
 Let the other person do a greater deal of the talking
 Let the other person feel that the idea is his or hers
 Make sure you really try to see things from the other person's
perspective
Stage 3: Bargaining
 Separate people and problem
 Understand concessions patterns
 Understand and use the range of influence techniques…
Influence - approaches…
 Reason
 Inspire
 Feel good
 Deal/favour
 Authority/force
 Ask
The power of questions…
 Recap on a situation
 Establish the other persons’ views/positions
 Gain interest
 Keep the other person involved and maintain his/her
interest
 Check progress and understanding
 Clarify what has been agreed upon and close the
negotiations
 Lead to a “Yes”
Stage 4: Closing
 Be clear on what has been agreed upon
 Remember face saving
 No celebrations!
 Minimize upsetting other people (if necessary)
Stage 5: Implementation
 Make it part of the bargaining mix
 Write it down
Distributive Negotiation Tactics
 Win-Lose negotiation
 Short-term (incompatible goals)
 Emphasizing tangibles
 Relationship is not a factor usually
Integrative Negotiation Tactics
 Win-win negotiation (collaborative)
 Long-term goals, underlying interests that may be compatible
 Emphasizing intangibles
 Relies on trust
Integrative Negotiation Tactics
 Be nice to people, but decisive with the problem
 Attack the problem together
 Focus on interests, and not on positions – “Why?”
 Develop objective criteria to identify a “good” solution
 Make sure you have enough time!
 Listen effectively
Tips on Influencing & Negotiating
 Know what you want
 Pay attention to people
 Understand the expectations
 Expect a lot
 Be persistent and consistent
 Build a positive atmosphere
 Give, in order to receive
 Promise a lot, deliver more
 Give people what they want
Tips on Influencing & Negotiating
 Control your emotions, don’t let your emotions control you
 Learn to cope with change
 Consider the emotions of the other person
 Remember the power of silence
 Don't criticize, condemn or complain
Difference between
Influencing & Manipulation
 Influencing - creates a change in behaviour, attitude, opinion or perception
 Manipulation - creates a change in behaviour, attitude, opinion or perception,
with no regard towards other outcomes
Influencing
Dovetailing your outcomes
 In order to avoid manipulating,
we should always seek to
influence by dovetailing our
objective or outcome with the
other person’s outcomes.
 When you dovetail your outcomes
with the person you are hoping to
influence, your chances of influence
are increasing significantly.
 When you seek to influence with
only having your own outcome in
mind, then you leave yourself wide
open to resentment, recrimination,
remorse and revenge.
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7 skills/attributes for influencing
1. Trust & Integrity - admit mistakes and apologise. Distance yourself from
anything that may be regarded as untrustworthy.
2. Presence - use your voice, be confident.
3. Credibility - lower your voice, speak slowly. Be consistent, be prepared to justify
why you do things and who you are.
4. Group or Team instinct - whether we like it or not, we are highly influenced by
the group that we identify with. Using phrases like “the team would like” rather
than “I would like” is more powerful.
7 skills/attributes for influencing
5. Avoid loss - presenting things in a way that demonstrates loss if they don’t act.
Most people are motivated to hang on to things that they fear might be lost, than to be
motivated by things that they haven’t got yet.
6. Building commitment - encourage people to make small commitments, don’t try to
engage people on huge marathons. A small commitment could be easier to achieve.
7. Story telling - everyone responds to a story, it might be insignificant, but if you are
trying to make a point build it and link it to a story.
Getting results - options
 Imposed – “I decide”
 Consulted – “I seek opinion and then I decide”
 Negotiated – “We decide” (mixed power)
 Working towards a “win-win” situation
HIGH HEELS PROJECT
Leonardo da Vinci –
Transfer of Innovation
2012-1-BG1-LEO05-06924
COPYRIGHT
© Copyright 2013 High Heels Consortium
Consisting of:
BULGARIAN CONSTRUCTION CHAMBER (BG)
CONSTRUCTION TRAINING CENTER (BG)
AR CI PROFESSIONAL CENTRE Ltd (BG)
MILITOS EMERGING TECHNOLOGIES &SERVICES (GR)
KNOWL (GR)
RNDO Ltd (CY)
STEJAR CENTER OF RESEARCH, DEVELOPMENT & EXCELLENCE (RO)
Transferring the University of Salford’s
award winning training programme:
“‘Women and Work: Sector Pathways
Initiative” (2010)
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