The Power of Words
 You will not find anything new in this presentation
about words. You will be reminded that WHAT we
say, and HOW we say it, can, indeed, be important.
 EVEN life changing.
Part One:
What is a WORD?
 Discussion: How would you define a word?
 Dictionary Meaning: “a speech sound that
symbolizes or communicates a meaning”
 “a verbal signal”
Painting a Verbal Picture
 What do good speakers and teachers do? They
paint vivid verbal pictures. They tell good stories to
make their points. When we talk to other people, we
are sending pictures back and forth to each other.
 Example: I am going to say a word, do not think of a
picture.
 “A good story paints a thousand pictures”
Words and Culture
 Words are used in every culture to connect with the
world and the people in it.
 Words are tools we use to greet, inform, ask,
answer, teach, encourage, comfort, praise, celebrate,
thank, pray, laugh, and connect.
 Words can also be used in a negative way.
 We are going to increase our awareness of the
damage our words can do and be reminded that we
can take control of our tongues.
The Tongue and the Pen are Mighty
 Words have shaped history. They’ve given birth to
ideas, started wars, inspired millions, and made
people rich and famous.
 Words can hurt and shock, or they can heal and lift
spirits.
 Words are not only powerful, but they can have a
lasting impact.
 Do Example: Word lists----discussion points.
HELLO???????
 If a piece of paper with words on it can lower or raise
the spirits of the people in this room within seconds,
think of the effect that some of the words we speak
can have on others…..and on ourselves.
What Research Says
 According to research conducted in business schools
at several top universities, these are twelve of the
words most likely to influence a prospective buyer.
 You
proven love easy health guarantee
New money save results safety discover
continued
 One business managed to get eleven of them in one
slogan “You will love to save money with GermGone, the easy-to-use, proven new discovery that
guarantees your health and safety.”
 Other words that have tested positive for consumers:
miracle, magic, quick, improved, bargain, hurry,
revolutionary, amazing, offer, wanted, now,
sensational
Continued
 The second research study was conducted by the
National Institute on Aging on the impact of certain
words that reinforce stereotypes about people over
the age of sixty. If words like “senile”, “decrepit”,
“slow”, “old”, “fading” “fossil”, were used around
seniors, they have a adverse physical, as well as
psychological effect. Blood pressure will rise and
nervous reactions will often appear on the skin. If
words like “insightful”, “wise”, “experienced”,
“worldly”, were used, the results were opposite.
Impact of Words
 It doesn’t make any difference which age group is
studied regarding the impact of words.
 The truth is that words can tear down and words
can build up no matter how young or old your are.
Words Can Change Lives
 Discussion: Has a person ever said anything to you
that changed your life? Positively or Negatively?
 Discuss stories: 1. “Are you too stupid to do
anything right?” 2. “This is good writing.”
 Be aware of the effect our words have on someone
else and words that we often utter carelessly or in
an emotional state can have a lasting effect.
Words have the power to destroy or heal. When
words are both true and kind, they can change
our world.
Buddha
The Power of Words
 A careless word may kindle strife.
 A cruel word may wreck a life.
 A bitter word may hate instill.
 A brutal word may smite and kill.
 A gracious word may smooth the way.
 A joyous word may light the day.
 A timely word may lessen stress.
 A loving word may heal and bless.
Author Unknown
Words Can Hurt and Offend
 “DIRTY THIRTY” List--- Discussion
 What kind of language drags you down?
 Most frequently heard from list:
1. Swearing and gross-out language
2. Complaining, moaning and whining
3. Mean-spirited and hurtful words
4. Rude and inconsiderate language
We will focus on 2 and 3.
Complaining, Moaning, Whining
 “I personally think we developed language because
of our deep inner need to complain.”
Jane Wagner
Bruce Diaso story---discuss
“Focus on the good life……and be thankful for
it”
Mean-Spirited and Hurtful Words
 “Sticks and Stones can break my bones and words
can break my heart.”
Robert Fulghum
Entertainment media trends show that it is funny to
put people down, to hurt them, and to humiliate
them.
How can we correct this?
Correcting Ourselves----BF Style
 Review the “dirty thirty” list. Who has struggled with
something on this list. Select three that you would
like to stop doing. Pass out index cards and write
them down. For every time you forget this rule, place
a mark on the card. Do this for a week. See if your
attitude changes.
 If we can reduce our mistakes and improve on the
way we talk to others, we’re making progress.
Words come from the Heart
For a man’s words will always express what has
been stored in his heart. Luke 6:45
“Every time we open our mouths, we reveal
something about ourselves”
“When we examine our own language, we get to
know ourselves better”
“Our words are generally a reflection of what is going
on inside”
What’s in Storage and How Did it Get There?
 A preacher, teacher or a person talking steadily will
say about six thousand words in just one hour.
 Some people will hear and read about 40 thousand
words per day.
 That’s a lot of input. IS it positive or negative?
Can We Control What Goes In?
 You are what you are because of what goes into
you mind.
Zig Ziglar
Two things to do that make sure our hearts are full of
good words.
1. Screen out the thrash: would you let someone
dump trash in your house?-why let them dump in
in your mind?
2. Start the day with Positive Input: Find some positive
reading material to start your day with. (cards)
Words are Choices
 Conscious or Unconscious?
 Not only do we choose what goes into our mouths,
we choose what comes out of them.
 “Words go into the body. So they cause us to be well
and hopeful and high-energy and wondrous and
funny and cheerful. Or they can cause us to be
depressed. They get into the body and cause us to be
sullen and sour and depressed and, finally, sick.”
Maya Angelou
Continued
 What types of words do we want to go into the body
of another person?
Hopeful, happy, high-energy, wondrous, funny,
cheerful
OR
Sullen, sour, depressed, sick.
“Realize now the power that your words command if
you simple choose them wisely.”
Anthony Robbins
Daily Communication Choices
We are always making choices. What do you choose to
say???
Discuss handout: Daily communication choices
Easy to do on paper but can we really make these
choices in our daily lives?????
Greetings are a Choice
 We make unconscious choice on how we greet
others. Ex. Hi. How are you? Fine.
 Do we really want to know how people are, or do
we just want to hear them say “fine” so we can
move on? ( Bobby story—young banker)
Continued
 Every greeting has in it at least four wonderful
opportunities:
1. To be a bit more imaginative and creative
2. To have fun
3. To lift someone else’s spirits
4. Probably lift our own
Ex. How are you? Well, I was good. But now that
you’re here, I’m ever better
Strategically Positive Questions
 Who’s someone you’re thankful for? Why?
 What’s been the highlight of your day so far?
 What’s the best place you’ve ever been?
 What’s an important goal you have?
 Who’s your best friend? Why?
The questions make other people feel important. It
leads to great conversation and make better
relationships.
Discussion: Make a list of questions we could ask
students as we greet them each day.
Three Choices That Influence Our Words
 1. Tone of Voice
40 % of our verbal communication is made through tone of voice. It
puts feeling behind our words.
2. Body Language
We often use our bodies to express more than half of what we say.
We should be aware of our facial expressions and how we use our
hands.
3.Touch
A gentle touch or an affectionate hug can be a powerful way to
strengthen our words.
Think what kind word, a soft tone, and a gentle touch can do when
combined.
Break Time
Take 10 minutes
Part Two:
The Win-Win Rewards of Positive Words
 You have it easily in your power to increase the sum
total of this world’s happiness now. How? By giving a
few words of sincere appreciation to someone who is
lonely or discouraged. Perhaps you will forget
tomorrow the kind words you say today, but the
recipient may cherish them over a lifetime.
Dale Carnegie
Good Finder---Look for the Good
Concept: Look for the good—in other people, and in
every situation.
 Do we do this???
Sayings:
1. Seek and you shall find.
2. We always find what we’re looking for
3. What you see is what you get
How do these sayings apply to our life???
Continued
 Media: The media, most of the time reports the bad
in this world. This is what we hear and we become
negative.
 Earl Warren—former Chief Justice of the Supreme
Court states, “we read the main section of a
newspaper to learn about people’s failures and read
the sports page to learn about people’s
accomplishments.”
 We need to look for good news and share it with
others.
Continued
 Hal Urban—author, teacher, professor. Starts every
class or seminar with these questions:
1. What are we celebrating today?
2. Who has good news?
3. Who has something good to say?
Students learned that there is something to
celebrate every day and to work a daily dose of
good news into their learning environment.
Continued
 Hal Urban also added three more choices to his daily
routine.
1. Share something about someone you are thankful for.
2. Say something complimentary about a classmate
3. Share something funny (clean jokes only)
Through 30 years of teaching and speaking, he often ask
his former students what they learned in his class and
most students state that they loved the way he started his
class each day. They learned to look for the good in life.
Important thought
 Look for the good instead of the bad, the right
instead of the wrong, the beauty instead of the blight,
the joy instead of the sorrow. Do this, and you’ll
always have something good to say.
Life Enhancer
 Enhance---Webster’s meaning is raise or improve
Can we raise the spirit of others and improve the
quality of life around them???? That is being a “life
enhancer”.
 Affirm---Webster’s meaning is to state positive
or to validate
Do we affirm life in other people? This means looking
for, and finding, the good in people and then telling
them.
Thoughtful Thirty
 Discussion: Pass out list and discuss.
These are considered to be the best choices for using
words to affirm life in others and in ourselves.
 Let’s look at three statements off the list.
1. Inquire and express interest
2. Give encouragement/inspire others
3. Praise, honor and build up.
Inquire and express interest
 People like to know that they count, that someone
else actually IS interested in them.
 The simplest method for affirming other people is to
get to know their “story”.
 “I want to know more about you, you're important”.
 Smile and listen—powerful communication skills
that enrich any conversation.
continued
 In the classic book, How to Win Friends and Influence
People, there are six rules for outstanding human
relations skills:
1.Become genuinely interested in other people.
2. Smile
3. Remember that a person’s name is to that person the
sweetest and most important sound in any language.
4. Be a good listener. Encourage others to talk about
themselves.
5. Talk in terms of the other person’s interest.
6. Make the other person feel important ---and do it
sincerely.
Give encouragement/Inspire Others
 Encourage---literally means to give courage.
 The right words spoken at the right time can often be
one of the most positive, life-affirming, and long
lasting gifts you’ll ever give.
 Thomas Edison Story---discussion
Praise, Honor, Build Up
 Look for the good and then take a few minutes to
comment on it.
 Everyone around us would enjoy a kind word.
Food service people, maintenance, office personnel,
para-professionals, teacher, administrators, etc.
“One of the best ways we can be good is to bring out
the best in other people”
Praise is always a Win-Win
“We increase whatever we praise. The whole
creation responds to praise, and is glad”.
Charles Fillmore
 Is it possible not to feel better about
ourselves when we know we’ve made
someone else feel good?
Loving Words Build and Heal Relationships
 “What others need from us, on an ongoing basis, is to
know that they are cared for, that their good deeds
inspire gratitude, and that others love them. It’s that
simple. And just because they hear such sentiments
on Monday doesn’t mean that they won’t need to
hear them again on Tuesday. This is the primary
reason why words that heal and inspire must be
repeated again and again”.
Rabbi Joseph Telushkin
Place “children” in place of “others”
Continued
 “Do you know what I like most about you?”
Before they answer, tell them what you like about them
on that day.
 We experience the world largely through interacting
with others, so our relationships, especially with
friends, are at the very core of our existence.
 The words we use and the words we hear will often
determine the quality of these relationships and, in
turn, the quality of our lives.
The Five A’s of Healthy Communication
 Attention: paying attention to the other person and




his or her needs.
Appreciation: saying “thank you” more often
Ask: asking about the hopes and joys and concerns
of other people
Affection: Using terms of affection. “You’re the
best”
Affirm: Building up and encouraging
Gracious Words Show Respect and Gratitude
 Which of the following types of language better
represent the kind of environment you want to live
or work in?
Language that is…..
 Civil
 Respectful
 Courteous
 Kind
 Considerate
 Polite
 Gentle
Language that is……
 Rude
 Crude
 Raw
 Coarse
 Filthy
 Angry
 Mean
Continued
 How many of you hear the type of language indicated
on the second sign?
 How many of you hear too much of the second type
of language?
 How many of you use the second type of language?
 How many of you are free to choose the type of
language that comes out of your mouth?
IS there a Solution?
Experts in the field suggest:
 We need to do a better job at home and in schools to
help young people use manners and proper language.
 Place an emphasis on civility and kind words in our
institutions and communities---we will create a
nourishing environment.
 MODEL the language!!
Manners Experts: Leticia Baldridge and Judith Martin
 We can make a difference.
When did you learn the “magic words”?
 Discussion: How times have changed.
We can not blame kids---they are a reflection of what
is going on in the adult world.
Share story of what happened in New York.
Turn schools into a “caring community.”
We can change if we believe we can.
Funny Words Make Us Laugh
“When people are laughing, they’re generally not
killing one another.”
Alan Alda
“I am thankful for laughter except when milk is
coming out of my nose.”
Woody Allen
“Humor is a serious thing. I like to think of is as one of
our greatest natural resources which must be
preserved at all costs.”
James Thurber
Therapeutic Benefits of Laughter
 It activates and strengthens the immune system
 It reduces at least four hormones associated with stress.
 It’s aerobic. It provides a “workout” for the diaphragm.
 It relaxes the muscles.
 It can significantly reduce pain for long periods.
 It lower blood pressure and can prevent hypertension.
 It improves respiration by emptying the lungs completely
of the air they take in.
 It has no negative side effects.
 It’s available anywhere without a prescription.
 It’s free.
Can your words make others laugh?
 Be on the lookout for humor.
 Write it down in a designated place.
 Subscribe to sources of humor.
 Share what’s funny with others.
Share funny stories.
Lunch Break
 11:30-12:15
Four Places Where Positive Words Can Work
Wonders
 Families, School, Work, Sports—we will focus on the
first three.
 No matter where we are----the factory, the
playground, the office, the school, the church, the
dinner party, the bedroom, the gym, the poker game--words will be spoken, and they will affect us.
Erwin G. Hall
1. Families
 There’s no place in the world where words are more
important than in the family. It’s the bedrock of any
society, and it’s where our children first learn how to
communicate and interact with others.
 It is also where they learn what to say and how to
say it. The language of the family.
 Parents are the first teachers.
10 suggestions to building a strong and loving
family.
Model the language you want your children to use.
Read to your children
Have meaningful conversation
Ask good questions
Celebrate the day at the dinner table
Catch your kids doing something right
Correct gently
Use and teach the magic words
Write a family mission statement about words in the home
Schedule a family night
Discuss what happens with children who do not have this at
home. How do they come to school and how should they be
treated at school?
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
6.
7.
8.
9.
10.
2. School
Gentle words teach kindness in our school.
As one afflicted with feelings of inferiority and poor
self-esteem as a youth, I am particularly sensitive to
the importance of caring, love, encouragement and
praise from those whose lives touch mine.
Encouragement and praise….have the power to
change a life, and that life may in turn change others.
Norman Vincent Peale
When School Hurts
Statistics
 More than 160,000 children stay home from school each
day because of verbal intimidation and put-downs by
their peers.
 More than two-thirds of all our students are teased or
gossiped about at school at least once a month
 Almost one-third of students between grades six and ten
(5.7 million children nationwide) have been bullied at
school
 Virtually all of the thirty-seven serious violent attacks in
our schools between the years 1976 and 2001 were the
direct result of verbal put-downs and intimidation.
Continued
 Two issues that school personnel need to be concerned with:
1. What can we learn from the findings of this research?
2. Can we teach children to use language more constructively,
and, in turn, improve the climate in our schools.
Ex. Eric Harris---Columbine—suicide note—”Your children, who
have ridiculed me, who have chosen not to accept me, who
have treated me like I am not worth their time, are dead.”
(email address to the parents of students killed and injured.)
Since 2001—learned from mistakes---most schools are
implementing models of safe, caring and nurturing
environments.
When Words are Win-Win
Programs/schools that promote positive language are
having these results:
1. Kids of all ages become more aware of the power of
their words either to tear down or build up.
2. The use of hurtful language is dramatically
reduced.
3. The use of kind and affirming words is dramatically
increased.
4. The school becomes a caring community in which
kids feel safe and are being nurtured by both their
teachers and their peers.
Positive Word Power Activity
 Two groups: Divide into
Group 1: Make a list of words we can say to other
people that are likely to give them good feelings.
Group 2: Make a list of words we can say to other
people that are likely to give them bad feelings.
Discuss words:
Every time we speak, we have the power to make
someone feel good or bad.
The Impact of Teachers
By the nature of our jobs, we talk more than
anyone. We have been given the responsibility
of molding young minds, and we should be
careful with our words.
“I have come to the frightening conclusion that I am the
decisive element in the classroom. It’s my personal
approach that creates the climate….As a teacher, I posses
a tremendous power to make a child’s life miserable or
joyous. I can be a tool of torture or an instrument of
inspiration.”
Haim Ginott
Our Responsibility
Our words and the way we say them would have
more impact than anything else in creating a caring
community in our classrooms/school.
2. To help students understand the impact their
language can have and give them opportunities
each day to practice “the power of positive words.”
1.
Thing we can do:
Welcome each student daily. Use their name and ask a
question if time permits.
2. First day of school—discuss manners, the Golden Rule,
power of language, followed by exercise on how to do these
things.
3. Write a class mission statement focusing on the use of
language.
4. Beginning of class—ask “What are we celebrating today?”
5. Have positive poster/signs all around the room that remind
kids about the power of their words.
6. Send “good kid” notices home every day telling parents
about hard work, good manners, acts of kindness, etc.
Children behave better and work harder if they are in a
nurturing atmosphere.
1.
3. How Employees talk also affect the workplace--Survey Results
 What employees like to hear from their peers.
1. Supportive, affirming language
2. A focus on what’s going well
3. Clean and polite words
4. Good jokes and funny stories

1.
2.
3.
4.
What employees don’t like to hear from peers.
Gossip,
Complaining, moaning, groaning, whining
Angry, filthy, rude words
Criticism and put-downs
Continued
 What we talk about and how we talk to others, more
than anything else, creates the atmosphere in which
we live---at home, at school, at work, out with
friends, in sports, in our places of worship.
 Words are powerful.
Break Time
 10 minutes
Two Final Thoughts of the Power of Positive
Words
 When words are better in writing
 Positive Words add Joy to life….But only in the living
Five authorities state the power of words in
writing.
 Norman Vincent Peale (author) “the purpose of
writing inspirational notes is simply to build others
up because there are too many people in the
demolition business.”
 Tom Peters(management guru) “We wildly
underestimate the power of the tiniest personal
touch. And of all personal touches, I find the short,
handwritten ‘nice job’ not to have the highest
impact.?
Continued
 Mary-Ellen Drummond (President of Polished
Presentation Internation): “Personally expressing
your gratitude and acknowledging the good in
someone through a handwritten note can strengthen,
repair, or build relationships far faster than the
speed of an email message. Don’t misunderstand me,
I love email, but when I want to reach out in a
significant way, it’s best to do it in a personal note or
even a postcard. It shows you personally took the
time to think about the other person.”
Continued
 Al Franken(Humorist and best-selling author)
“Ask yourself this: doesn’t it seem more sincere and
extraordinary that someone would take the time to
send you a personal handwritten note?”
 Margaret Shepherd (author) “A good handwritten
note on the right occasion is a work of art. It says to
the reader, “you matter to me, I thought of you, I
took trouble on your behalf, here’s who I am, I’ve
been thinking of you.”
Continued
 Words in Writing can change lives, even start
careers
Discussion: Kind word story.
Share Scott Adams story---creator of Dilbert
Positive Words Add Joy to Life…But Only in the
Living
 The greatest weakness of most humans is their hesitancy
to tell others how much they love them while they’re still
alive.
O.A. Battista
 A single kind word is of greater value to the living than a
whole bunch of kind words at a memorial service.
 Talk to your friends and family members as if it’s the last
time you ever will.
Summary
 Kind words have the power to….
-Cheer us up when the world is getting us down
-Honor us for our achievements
-Cause us to giggle and laugh
-Restore our faith in the goodness of humanity
-Bolster our self-image
-Inspire us to give our best
-Let us know someone cares
Summary
-Life our spirits
-Warm our hearts
-Improve our moods
-Heal our wounds
-Acknowledge our hard work
-Bring out the best in us
-Boost our confidence
Summary
-Support us in tough times
-Celebrate our triumphs
-Comfort us in time of sorrow
-Make us feel like we count
-Help us to believe in ourselves
-Encourage us when we need an extra little push
-Remind us about what’s right and good in the world
-Supply us with a burst of energy
Summary
-Tell us we’re appreciated
-Surprise us with joy in unexpected times
-Teach us valuable lessons
-Uphold us during our darkest hours
-Give us the recognition we deserve
-Point out the reasons for being thankful
-Show that others have faith in us
-Brighten our days
-Enrich our lives
Conclusion
 Let no one come to you without leaving happier and
better.
Mother Teresa