Cooperation, Learning and
Project Management
MM9: Conflict Management
Agenda
• Understanding Conflict: definition, types,
phases
• Role play 1
• Tools and methods for conflict
management
• Role play 2
What is conflict?
• Clash between 2 or more persons’ needs,
wishes, values…
• A ”part of everyday life”
• An opportunity for personal and
”organizational” growth, learning
• A potential detriment to all involved
• Manageable via conflict management
tools, methods, processes…
Types of conflict
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Personal conflicts/ ”chemistry”
Communication conflicts
Subject-related conflicts
Role conflicts
Organizational conflicts
Goal-alignment conflicts
Conflicts of interest
Work contribution/efforts conflicts
Conflicting opinions
Incongruent ambitions
May not be so ”clear cut”; often several types,
not always visible/definable
Four phases of Conflict
Latent Conflict: under the surface;
not expressed openly; conflict
waiting to happen
New Equilibrium: a
new understanding of
the relationship is
reached.
A triggering incident: an
event that brings the
conflict into the open; the
”last straw”.
Conflict stage: 1 or more
issue(s) is/are aired &
defined; often many issues
explode all at once.
Role Play 1
• Read and consider your assigned roles
• Fishbowl observations
• Group discussion
Conflict Management
The ability to effectively manage conflict is
without a doubt one of the most important
skills you will need to be successful in your
life!
Conflict resolution: Basic model
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All involved tell their ”story” and present their viewpoints
(individually)
Meeting leader/mediator formulates the main points of
the conflict, based on the individual ”stories” and views
Underlying issues are discussed—shared/opposing
interests?
Potential solutions are discussed (brainstorming?):
Choose a suggestion
Formulate the solution into a formal agreement
Evaluate the process and individual satisfaction with the
solution.
Problemorienteret projektarbejde (Olsen & Pedersen) p. 114
Conflict resolution styles
High
Degree of Assertiveness
Win/Lose
Style
ProblemSolving Style
Compromise
Avoidance
Style
Accomading
Style
Low
Low
Degree of Cooperation
High
No ”one best strategy”
Depending on the nature of the
relationship(s), different strategies may be
more effective than others in different
situations. Judging which style to adopt in
a given situation is a skill; developing the
ability to use different styles in various
situations requires practice (”learning by
doing”)!
Avoidance Style
• Nonconfrontational; he/she ”ignores” an
issue/person with which/whom the conflict
involves; may deny existence of a conflict
or problem.
• When might this be an effective strategy?
Accomodating Style
• Agreeable and non-assertive in his/her
behavior; he/she cooperatives, even at the
expense of his/her own personal needs,
wishes, goals.
• When might this be an effective strategy?
Win/Lose Style
• ”Classic Conflict”; confrontational;
aggressive; must win at all costs;
disregard for the needs of the other
person(s)
• When might this be an effective strategy?
Problem-solving Style
• ”Collaborating style”; both parties have a
high degree of respect for each other;
recognition for and consideration of own
and others’ needs, wishes, goals
• When might this be an effective strategy?
Compromising Style
• Both assertive and cooperative; gives up
something in order to gain something;
results in only partial satisfaction
• When might this be an effective strategy?
Win/Win Conflict Resolution
1. Plan an approach that includes an
assertive ”I” statement that identifies your
concerns about the situation
2. Present your statement to the other party
3. Let the other party respond
4. Agree on the conflict
5. Develop alternative solutions
6. Make an agreement for change
”I” statements allow you to…
• Establish a problem-solving atmosphere
• Maintain your role in the conflict (not
blame others)
• Keep yourself focused and calm
• Reduce potential defensiveness of the
other party
Assertive statements use ”BCF” model
BCF Model
• B = Behavior that bothers you
• C = Consequences of that behavior on you
• F = Your feelings about the situation
• BCF statements describe the problem
from your point of view; doesn’t introduce
possible solutions; does not attack others
on a personal level…
Examples of BCF statements
• When you (state behavior), I feel (state
feelings) because (state consequences)…
• When you interupt me at meetings
(behavior), I lose my train of thought
(consequences) and that makes me feel
foolish in front of the other members of the
team (feelings).
”Giraffe Language”
• Marshall B. Rosenberg’s”Giraffe language” is a
communication tool that teaches us to ask for what we
need without stepping on anyone’s toes. The basic idea
with giraffe language is, in conflict and conversations, we
try to express 4 things:
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What ”I” see and hear
What ”I” feel about what the other party says
What my needs are
What the other party can do to meet my needs
• Also, I ask about the other party’s needs and feelings,
which helps me to develop my own empathetic qualities.
Rosenberg, M.B. (1999) ”Nonviolent Communication : A Language of
Compassion”
How’s it going?
• The 2 fundamental questions are: how
are you doing? What would you like to
have (happen)?
Giraffe Kids
Wolf Kids
I feel…because I ...
I need for me to…
Takes responsibility
I feel because...you...
I need for you to…
Shames/plays on guilt
Rosenberg’s communication model
4 steps which impact our interactions and contacts:
1. FACT: express observations (see, hear) concretely,
without intrepretating. ”I see/hear/notice...”
2. FEELING: express how you feel about the issue. I
become/feel…
3. NEED: express your need, wishes, intentions.
”I need…”
4. REQUEST: express what you want to happen (an
action). ”Will you…”