Sample Persuasive/Argument Essay
Addressed the principal (part of
task)
This hook is a successful
compositional risk. It grabs the
reader’s attention and draws the
reader into the argument
Necessary background
Rephrased the question
Thesis statement
Preview of body topics
Topic sentence
Elaboration (real example,
questions, facts, details, etc.)
Connect example to thesis
Closing sentence
Topic sentence w/ transitions
Elaboration (real example,
questions, facts, details, etc.)
Hypothetical situation used to
convince the reader
Connect example to thesis
Closing sentence
Topic sentence w/ transitions
Elaboration (real example,
questions, facts, details, etc.)
Rhetorical questions to support
argument
Closing sentence
Rephrase thesis
Review three supporting reasons
Theme/message or closing remark
Dear Principal,
Would you please open up your purse and show me everything that’s
inside it? I’d like to see if there’s anything in there that might make me suspect
that you are a criminal. How did it make you feel to be asked that question? You
can definitely imagine how it makes me feel knowing that I could come to school
every day and have my personal things rifled through by someone I really don’t
know. This would be the case if the new school policy allowing random spotchecks of backpacks and lockers is instituted in our school. The North Bergen
School District should not allow random spot-checks of backpacks and lockers.
This proposed policy would be an invasion of privacy. In addition, the policy will
also cause profiling in the school. Lastly, the policy does not give the student the
benefit of the doubt.
This policy is an invasion of privacy. At home, my parents trust me to finish
my homework, remember my lunch, and do a lot of other things that don’t require
their constant supervision. I follow their rules because I respect them as my
parents. In the same way, (transition words) I follow your rules because I respect
you as my principal. If you do a good job, then you shouldn’t have to worry about
me breaking the rules.
In addition, I strongly disagree with this policy because it will cause
profiling. Even in the subways of New York City, people say that they feel profiling
exists during bag checks. If the police do it, then so can you. Let’s suppose that I
have a friend who has a decal for the band The Killers on his backpack. Will you
assume when you see that decal that my friend is a violent person? Will the kids
with tie-dyed backpacks be considered hippies? Will you suspect that they do
drugs? Just because a student might look a certain way or dress a certain way
doesn’t mean that the student behaves like that stereotype.
Furthermore, this policy does not give the students the benefit of the doubt.
If we are supposed to feel safe in schools, doesn’t safety start with trust? If I carry
a water gun in my backpack, it may be for a skit I’m doing for drama class. If I have
a picture of marijuana in my locker, it might be for a project I’m doing for science
class. That can of spray paint you see in the side pocket of my backpack is going to
get used after school when we make signs for the car wash. Could I really get
suspended for being a good student and a model school citizen? It’s possible if
these spot checks are permitted.
Allowing random spot-checking of backpacks and lockers in the North
Bergen School District would be an unfair policy. Random spot-checking of
backpacks and lockers will be an invasion of our students’ privacy, cause profiling,
and take away the trust that exists in our school system. I leave you with this
thought. Teachers are always telling us not to “judge a book by its cover.” If you
allow this policy to be in effect, this will be the very practice that you promote.
Thank you for taking the time to read my letter, and I hope that you will definitely
consider my point of view.
Sincerely,
John Q. Student