UNIT ONE TEACHING MATERIALS
Table of Contents
ASSIGNMENT PROMPT ................................................................................................................................ 3
Assignment # 1 Decoded ........................................................................................................................... 4
GLADWELL: PREREADING, DISCUSSION & RHETORICAL READING ............................................................. 5
Texts to Introduce the Issue/Conversation on New Media & Activism .................................................... 5
Pre-Reading Questions.............................................................................................................................. 8
Jigsaw Work .............................................................................................................................................. 9
Previewing, Skimming, Surveying ............................................................................................................. 9
Charting a Text ........................................................................................................................................ 11
Some Questions to Ask Any Text ............................................................................................................ 12
A Miscellany of Gladwell Discussion Questions ...................................................................................... 13
Elements of Gladwell’s Argument (draft) ............................................................................................... 15
Group Activity/Exercise Identifying Claims ............................................................................................. 16
Argument Map ........................................................................................................................................ 17
Searching for Strategies .......................................................................................................................... 18
If you have time….................................................................................................................................... 18
DRAFTING ................................................................................................................................................... 19
Drafting Paper 1: What Not to Do .......................................................................................................... 19
Outline for Introduction .......................................................................................................................... 20
Using They Say/I Say with Assignment 1 ................................................................................................ 20
Rhetorical Précis – description and examples ......................................................................................... 23
Turning your précis into an introduction ................................................................................................ 26
Example: One Way of Structuring the Introduction ................................................................................ 28
An example of what not to do................................................................................................................. 28
Body Template ........................................................................................................................................ 29
Conclusion ............................................................................................................................................... 29
Rubric #1: Constructing An Account ........................................................................................................ 30
Sample Introduction Paragraphs ............................................................................................................ 31
Tips for Project 1: Constructing an Account of an Argument.................................................................. 33
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QUICK GUIDE TO QUOTATIONS (See Graff et al., “The Art of Quoting”) .................................................. 36
A Four-Part Template For Discussing Claims .......................................................................................... 39
Quotation Quiz ........................................................................................................................................ 40
They Say/I Say & Quote Sandwiches – Class Activities ........................................................................... 41
Three Step Quotation Integration Visual ................................................................................................ 45
PEER REVIEW .............................................................................................................................................. 46
RWS 100 Peer Review Guide Paper #1 .................................................................................................... 47
More Peer Review Workshop Ideas ........................................................................................................ 52
Mechanics: Some Rules Of Thumb ............................................................................................................ 53
MLA Relay ............................................................................................................................................... 55
End of Unit – Using Responses to Gladwell to Prepare for Unit 2 ............................................................ 56
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ASSIGNMENT PROMPT
How to structure assignment 1 + break down of points (4-5 pages)
Part 1. Introduction (1-2 paragraphs)
1. Introduce the author and his project. Questions to consider:
a) Who is he?
b) What is his project? (What sort of work does he set out to do, how, and why?) [5 pts]
2. Describe the author’s main argument - what is he trying to get us to believe? [5 pts]
3. State the direction of your analysis and the steps you will take to get us there
(“metadiscourse.”) (E.g., “In my analysis of Gladwell’s text I will examine X and show Y.”)
[5pts]
Part 2. The Body, in which you present your central analysis
In this section, you will analyze 3 or 4 major claims that support the author’s argument. For each
claim, you will:
 Identify the claim in your own words.
 Use a quotation to illustrate this claim. Introduce, integrate and explain the quotation
(see Graff et al,. 39 – 49).
 Identify the evidence the author presents to support this claim (if present/relevant)
 Identify a strategy, move, or some aspect of the style/organization/use of evidence, and
discuss how this supports the claim/argument. [70 POINTS]
Part 3: Your conclusion, which tells us “So What?” (2-3 paragraphs)
In this section, you will discuss issues of significance or effectiveness. There are several things
you can choose to emphasize in this section.
 What is the significance of the argument – why does it matter (at this moment/to you/in
general)?
 Has the author impacted your thinking/views on this topic? If so, in what way?
 Consider the effectiveness of the argument – focus on a key strength or weaknesses
[15pts]
Remember to focus on the text’s argument and how it is constructed, not merely what it is about.
Write the paper as if you are addressing an audience that has not read the text, and thus requires that you
“spell things out.” Use MLA format, proofread your work carefully, and revise, revise, revise.
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Assignment # 1 Decoded
Students will be able to construct an account of an author’s project and argument; translate
an argument into their own words.
For this project, construct an account of Gladwell’s argument. Successful papers will:
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Introduce the rhetorical situation in which Gladwell’s article was written (10)
This is your introduction. Include appropriate information about the author, publication, general topic,
context, and audience. Refer to “Key Terms and Concepts” in “course documents” section of
Blackboard.
Give some indication of your project and how it will proceed (5)
This is your “metadiscourse.” Include a roadmap that prepares the reader for what’s to come. Use
phrases like, “In this paper I will…” Then, later in the paper, use “signposts” to let us know what is
about to happen. For example, “In what follows, I will analyze…”
describe Gladwell’s project, argument and central claims (15)
An expansion and refinement of your homework assignment. About three quarters of a page.
show the various aspects of the problem he presents (15)
The “guts” of the paper. Explain the major claims, and how they function within the overall argument.
Use textual evidence (quotes and citations) to “show” claims and evidence. Two to three pages.
describe how Gladwell organizes his text OR uses evidence, and how this advances his argument (15)
This can be a section that stands on its own, or you can weave it into the rest of your paper. Why does
Gladwell present the elements of his argument in the order he does? Why does he select/present
evidence as he does? This is really rhetorical analysis with a focus on structure.
comment on how this article is significant—what difference it might make to readers or how this kind of
analysis might be important to readers (10)
Your conclusion. There are several directions you can go here. You can talk about how this
article/assignment affected you as a student/person. You can talk about the significance of this article
in the context of our current social/political atmosphere. You can talk about the effectiveness of this
article.
use an effective structure that carefully guides the reader from one idea to the next (10)
What are some possible structures for this paper?
be written as if addressing a reader unfamiliar with Gladwell’s text (10)
Would your college-educated aunt in Topeka understand this paper?
be thoroughly edited so that sentences are readable and appropriate for an academic audience. (10)
Read your paper aloud to yourself or a friend. Does it sound weird? Fix it. Questions? Refer to
“Keys for Writers.”
Total points = I00
I will give you a number grade on your rough draft, just to give you an idea of how it’s coming along, but that
number will not affect the score of your final draft. When scoring your final draft, I will include a category called,
“produce a thorough first draft.”
4-6 pages, MLA format.
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GLADWELL: PREREADING, DISCUSSION & RHETORICAL READING
Texts to Introduce the Issue/Conversation on New Media & Activism
To get students thinking about the issue, you could show them some quotes from famous people, or
some magazine covers showing how technology is often connected to politics.
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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-hFk6FDrZBc
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“The Iranian uprisings and the Challenge of New Media, Henry Giroux.” Fast Capitalism, 5.2, 2009.
The Internet, YouTube, Twitter and Facebook have reconstituted, especially among young people,
how social relationships are constructed and how communication is produced, mediated, and
received. They have also ushered in a new regime of visual imagery in which screen culture creates
spectacular events just as much as they record them. Under such circumstances, state power
becomes more porous and less controlled (. . .) Text messaging, Facebook, Twitter, YouTube, and
the Internet have given rise to a reservoir of political energy that posits a new relationship
between the new media technologies, politics and public life (3).
If you have time, you could use one or more of the following texts/videos to get students thinking about
the issue Gladwell addresses, and foster a sense of the “conversation” going on around new media and
activism.
 “Activism in the Information Age: Does Technology Help or Hinder?” This video explores the
topic of what makes “millennial” students (students who are coming of age at the start of the
new millennium) different from prior generations, and considers whether new media makes
Millennials more likely to engage in activism.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jF4XijTFQsg&list=PL4CBDB61CB4CCDE13&index=13
 Evgeny Morozov: How the Internet strengthens dictatorships. 11 minute TED talk by well known
contrarian mentioned by Gladwell, who criticizes “cyberutopianism.”
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-hFk6FDrZBc (there is also an animated version
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Uk8x3V-sUgU)
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“Fighting War Crimes, Without Leaving the Couch?” A New York Times Roundtable.
Social media definitely have the power to bring attention to terrible problems — but is there a
downside, if the “call to action” is wrong-headed or if these campaigns give young people a false
sense of what it really takes to create change?
http://www.nytimes.com/roomfordebate/2012/03/09/kony-2012-and-the-potential-of-socialmedia-activism
“Cheap Meth! Cheap Guns! Click Here. By Nicholas Kristof. An op-ed suggesting the Chinese
government fears social media greatly. http://www.nytimes.com/2013/01/03/opinion/kristofcheap-meth-cheap-guns-click-here.html?hp&_r=0
A student talks about How Social Media Is Like Wii Bowling.
“I rock at Wii bowling. With a skillful flick of the wrist, I can send that digital bowling ball on its
way to a perfect game. However, in real life even my four-year-old cousin can beat me by a
hundred points––without bumpers.” http://berkleycenter.georgetown.edu/blogs/campusconversation-on-values/posts/josina-de-raadt-dordt-on-how-social-media-is-like-wii-bowling
Millennials on Social Media and Politics
http://berkleycenter.georgetown.edu/blogs/campus-conversation-on-values/posts/millennialson-social-media-and-politics
“How social networking can spark revolutions”
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eLm3E1YapR8
Pre-Reading Questions
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Do you use social media sites such as twitter, facebook, youtube, instagram, tumblr, etc?
Which new media sites/tools do you use most often?
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How often do you use them? What do you mostly use them for? What do you think most people
use social media for?
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Have you ever used social media sites for political action? Do you know anyone who has?
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What do you know of the use of social media in the Arab spring? In Occupy Wall Street? In the
recent presidential election?
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List all the examples of “new media activism” that you can think of
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Have you heard of any examples of social media being used for activism? How was it used?
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Do you think that new media technologies like YouTube, Facebook, Twitter, etc. enable people
to engage in new, more powerful forms of activism than in the past?
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Do you see social media changing politics? How?
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Jigsaw Work
Put students into groups and assign them to research the following questions:
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Who is Gladwell, and what kind of writer is he?
What kind of publication is The New Yorker – what can you find out about the writing it
publishes and the audience.
What is social media, and what are some claims that have been made about social media and
democracy, and social media and activism?
Gladwell refers to “web 1.0 and web 2.0.” Look up these terms and explain the difference
between them.
Look up the following terms:
“Twitter Revolution in Moldova” and “Twitter Revolution in Iran”
“Facebook Revolution”
“The Arab Spring”
“Freedom Schools”
“The Red Brigades”
“Mississippi Summer Freedom Project”
“The Greensboro Four”
“The Montgomery Bus Boycott”
“Bull Connor”
Questions to Ask About the Text BEFORE You Read1
Previewing, Skimming, Surveying
Your time is valuable. If you’re like most students, you want to finish your reading as quickly as
possible. You have other readings for other classes and a fair amount of homework. However, you can
learn a lot about a text before you even begin reading and it’s worth it to take a few extra minutes to ask
these questions before you begin the reading assignment.
1. What can I learn from the title? While titles can sometimes be general or provide few clues
to the content of the work, a critical reader can often learn a lot about a text based on its title. A
title may indicate the author’s point of view on the subject (e.g. “Keep the Borders Open”) or
reveal the author’s argument (e.g. “A Change of Heart About Animals”).
2. What do I know about the author? In many academic texts, such as course readers and
textbooks, publishers often include a short biographical sketch of the author. From this
information a reader can gain insight into the author’s background, credentials, project,
argument, purpose, and more. Even when the editor of the course reader or text book doesn’t
give you an introduction, you can do a simple Google search to help determine the author’s
authority, credentials, background, etc. Many writers (and most academics) have web sites that
will tell you a lot about them and the work they do.
You can also use the San Diego State’s online biography resources:
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Part of this adapted from Yagelski, Robert P. and Robert K. Miller, ed. The Informed Argument. 6th ed. Australia:
Thompson, 2004, and work by Jamie Fleres.
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http://infoguides.sdsu.edu/sub2.php?id=92&pg=13
3. Who is the publisher? While a publisher’s reputation is not an automatic indicator of the
source’s reliability, you can learn a lot by discovering who published a particular work. For
example, university presses and academic journals tend to expect a high degree of scholarship
and many of these works are peer reviewed to ensure a text’s quality. When reading popular
periodicals, you may discover that certain magazines and newspapers consistently reflect certain
political positions, which can help you anticipate the political position of the text you are about
to read. You may also be able to identify the target audience for this particular text, based on
the publication source.
4. When was the text written? Locating the date of publication can provide useful information
about the rhetorical context in which the writer developed their work.
5. What can I learn from skimming the text? Proficient readers often skim through a text
before reading to gather important information.
 You can survey the organization of the text, looking for text divisions, section headings, and
subtitles, which may give clues about the text.
 You can also note important signal words, such as therefore, so, thus, but, however, for example, first,
second, etc. to learn more about the structure of the argument and the rhetorical work of the
writer.
 Skim the visuals and note the relationship between the visual and written text.
 Look for head-notes, footnotes, and biographical information.
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Charting a Text
Charting2 involves annotating a text in order to show the “work” each paragraph, group of
paragraphs, or section is doing. Charting helps identify what each part of the text is doing as well
as what it is saying—helping us move away from summary to analysis. There are two strategies
for charting that we’ll look at: macro-charting and micro-charting.
MACRO-CHARTING
How do we do macro-charting?
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Break text down into sections--identify “chunks” or parts of the text that
seem to work together to DO something for the overall argument.
Draw lines between sections and label each one, annotating them with
“doing” verbs: providing context, making a claim, supporting a claim,
rebutting counter argument, illustrating with personal anecdote,
describing the issue, etc.
Why do we do macro-charting?
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Macro-charting helps with understanding structure of argument, as well as
locating claims, supporting evidence, and main argument.
Macro-charting guides students toward identifying relationships between
ideas.
Macro-charting brings awareness that behind every sentence there is an
author with intent who makes rhetorical choices to achieve his/her aims.
MICRO-CHARTING
How do we do micro-charting?
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Break down sections of text by paragraph to analyze what each paragraph
is doing for the overall argument.
Detail the smaller “moves” and strategies made within paragraphs: note
when, where, and how and author makes a claim, cites evidence, and/or
supports his/argument using a rhetorical strategy.
Why do we do micro-charting?
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2
Micro-charting can serve as a way to thoroughly understand in a detailed
way how a text is put together.
Micro-charting encourages readers to look more carefully and closely at a
text and helps us to focus our reading on tasks asked for in prompts.
Micro-charting brings awareness of the specific rhetorical choices made
throughout a text (addressing particular audiences by making deliberate
moves).
Adapted from work by Micah Jendian and Katie Hughes
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Some Questions to Ask Any Text
THE BIG PICTURE
1. Who is the audience? Who is the author trying to reach? (age, gender, cultural background,
class, etc.) Which elements of the text – both things included, and things left out – provide clues
about the intended audience? How does the author represent the audience
2. Who is the author, and where is she coming from? What can you find out about the author?
What can you find out about the organization, publication, web site, or source she is writing for?
3. What is the author’s purpose? What is the question at issue? Why has the author written this
text? What is the problem, dispute, or question being addressed? What motivated her to write,
what does she hope to accomplish, and how does she hope to influence the audience?
4. What is the context - what is the situation that prompted the writing of this text, & how do you
know? When was the text created, and what was going on at the time? Can you think of any
social, political, or economic conditions that are particularly important?
5. What “conversation” is the author trying to join? It’s unlikely the author is the first person to
write on a particular topic. As Graff points out, writers invariably add their voices to a larger
conversation. How does the author respond to other texts? How does she enter the
conversation (“Many authors have argued X, but as Smith shows, this position is flawed, and I
will extend Smith’s critique by presenting data that shows…”) How does the author position
herself in relation to other authors?
6. How does the author claim “centrality,” i.e. establish that the topic being discussed matters,
and that readers should care?
7. What is the author’s “stance”? What is his attitude toward the subject, and how does this come
across in his language?
8. What research went into writing the text, & what material does the author examine? (project)
ARGUMENT & PERSUASION
1. What is the most important sentence in this text, to you? Why?
2. What is the author’s overall argument, or central claim?
3. What are the most important (sub) claims?
4. How does the author establish her authority/credibility? (ethos)
5. How does the author connect with your emotions? (pathos)
6. What evidence or reasons does the author provide, and do they convince you? (logos)
7. What are you being asked to believe, think, or do? (persuasion)
8. How is the text organized? Why do you think the author organized the text this way? What
effect does it have?
9. Does the author respond to other arguments, and if so, are they treated fairly?
10. How do the author’s stylistic choices reinforce or advance the argument? How do word choice,
imagery, metaphor, design, etc. help persuade?
11. How does the author frame the issues? Does the author’s representation of the issue or
problem invite the audience to see things from a particular perspective? How does this help
persuade?
12. How does the author define the central terms being discussed? How does this help persuade?
13. What assumptions can you identify? What does the author take for granted, and what does this
tell you about her argument?
14. What implications follow from the author’s argument?
15. Does the author use metadiscourse? Are there moments when the author talks about what he
is doing, or addresses the audience directly? Is this persuasive? How?
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A Miscellany of Gladwell Discussion Questions
THE TITLE – what does it refer to, and what expectation does it set up? Has anyone heard the activist
slogan (and song) “the revolution will not be televised”? (See
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Revolution_Will_Not_Be_Televised, and
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rGaRtqrlGy8)
What does the image on the first page suggest? What point is being made?
The caption for the image reads, “Social media can’t provide what social change has always required.”
What does this mean – what has social change “always required”? Do you agree? Do you think this
statement comes close to capturing Gladwell’s overall argument?
The caption states, “Social media can’t provide what social change has always required.” Think about
how this frames the issue. Consider the way the generalization is structured – all social change always
requires…what? Does this imply that all social change will always require the same thing? Does such a
formulation risk defining social change overly narrowly? Does it risk generalizing too broadly?
Who is the audience?
Find the places where Gladwell references an author or expert, either as support or as foil. What
language does he use to describe these authors? Do you see any resemblances to the rhetorical précis?
What prior claims about the power of social media does Gladwell appear to be responding to?
What “conversation” is the author trying to join? As Graff points out, writers invariably add their voices
to a larger conversation. How does the author respond to other texts? How does he enter the
conversation (“Many authors have argued X, but as Smith shows, this position is flawed, and I will
extend Smith’s critique by presenting data that shows…”) How does the author position himself in
relation to other authors?
Where does Gladwell bring up the views he disagrees with? What do you think of the way Gladwell
represents these views?
List the evidence Gladwell presents on pages 42-43 to support his claim that “digital evangelists” wildly
exaggerate the power of social media.
What do you think of this evidence? Is it persuasive? What questions could be asked about this evidence
to decide how strong it is? Can you imagine other forms of evidence that might contradict Gladwell?
What is Gladwell’s view of the relationship between social media and social change?
What are the main claims he presents to support his position?
Examine Gladwell’s description of the Woolworth’s lunch counter sit-in of 1960s. What do you notice
about it? Why do you think he chose to represent it as he did, and include the details that he does?
How does his discussion of the Woolworth’s lunch counter sit-in of 1960 advance his argument?
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How does Gladwell thread the description of the Woolworth’s lunch counter sit-in through his text, and
why?
How does Gladwell contrast “the “old school” activism of the civil rights era with that of new media
activists? How does this contrast work?
Construct a list of all the contrasting terms Gladwell uses to talk about old vs. new activism.
How is the contrast between the “old school” activism of the civil rights era and new media activism
established? Pay attention not just to major differences, but also to the descriptive details Gladwell uses
to represent each set of activists.
How does Gladwell define activism? All definitions are “rhetorical.” That is, they create a perspective,
they invite us to see the world a certain way, and they often work to persuade. How is Gladwell’s
definition of activism rhetorical?
What differences does Gladwell establish between “weak tie activism” and “strong tie” activism? Explain
this distinction and its relevance to Gladwell’s argument.
Is it a fair comparison? Can you imagine different ways of constructing this comparison?
If you were making a case for the importance of new media activism, what alternative relationship
might you draw between “old” style activism, and the new forms?
What evidence or examples would you use?
Gladwell (46) writes that social networks are “effective at increasing participation - by lessening the level
of motivation that participation requires.” What does he mean by this? Do you agree? Is this an
overgeneralization?
How does Gladwell draw a distinction between “real sacrifice” and trivial forms of sacrifice? Do you
agree with the way he does this?
Write a response to Gladwell that draws on your own experience/knowledge of social media. Frame
your argument as a response to something specific Gladwell says.
Gladwell argues that there are two “crucial distinctions” between “traditional activism and its online
variant.” (47) What are these two crucial distinctions?
What do you think of Gladwell’s conclusion? What do you notice about the patterns of language he
uses, and his tone? Do you agree with his concluding point?
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Elements of Gladwell’s Argument (draft)
For the first reading, focus on gaining a general understanding of what the texts says in order to create a
one or two sentence summary of each “chunked” section. Number the paragraphs. Circle new or
unfamiliar words, underline claims and evidence, and note any other “moves” you can identify (you can
use the “I Know What it Says, But What Does it Do?” list.)
Gladwell’s Project
Do you think Gladwell’s purpose is to challenge, debunk, and criticize certain ideas that have become
commonplace regarding the transformative potential of social media? What are these ideas?
Is he critical because he thinks these ideas are completely wrong, or just exaggerated, utopian, or
flawed?
What work (research, investigation, etc.) do you think Gladwell had to do to construct this critique?
Gladwell’s Argument
The caption on the first page gives us a pretty good clue to Gladwell’s overall argument. The caption
states, “Social media can’t provide what social change has always required.” However, this is
incomplete. Look at the first and last pages of the text, and extend this statement so that it more fully
accounts for Gladwell’s overall argument.
Gladwell’s Claims
The following statements begin to capture some of Gladwell’s claims.
1. Because social media fosters weak ties, rather than strong ties, it advances very limited forms of
activism
2. Social media supports networked organization rather than hierarchical organization, making
consensus, strategy, discipline and coordinated action hard to achieve.
3. Social networks increase participation by lessening the level of motivation and commitment required
to participate.
Expand and refine these claims.
Describe the other major claims in the text
Evidence & Strategies
For each of the claims, identify the main forms of support. Try to work out what kind of evidence (if
any) is presented (anecdote, example, expert opinion, quote, statistic , case study, etc.)
Locate strategies Gladwell uses to advance these claims.
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Group Activity/Exercise Identifying Claims
Break the text into 5 or 6 sections. Ask students to look for question/answer pairs, along with other
clues to major claims (see course reader on identifying claims – for example, look at the start and end of
the article, look for problem statements, examples of metadiscourse, etc.)
List your results, and turn all the statements you have into explicit claims (must be debatable, must
adopt a position, must contain an explicit or implicit reason.) Turn question/answer pairs in to explicit
claims, and make sure all the statements adopt the “language of argument.”
Assemble all the claims listed by the groups. Then have students work on classifying and hierarchizing
the claims – determine which are definitely claims, which may be, and which are probably not.
Determine which are major claims, and which are sub-claims, etc.
Create an argument map, so that the class can survey all the elements of the argument.
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Argument Map
Project
Argument
Claim
Claim
Claim
Claim
Claim
Evidence for
Claim
Evidence for
Claim
Evidence for
Claim
Evidence for
Claim
Evidence for
Claim
Strategies that
support claim/arg
Strategies that
support claim/arg
Strategies that
support claim/arg
Strategies that
support claim/arg
Strategies that
support claim/arg
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Searching for Strategies
Begin by taking basic terms of argument already looked at, such as claims, evidence, and organization,
and consider the choices involved. For example, consider the selection, presentation and framing of
evidence.
You could then move to ethos and pathos, and Gladwell’s use of narrative.
You may also want to direct students to word choice. For example, Gladwell refers to “digital
evangelism” (44) “evangelists of social media” (46) “Facebook activism” (46), “the bible of the social
media movement” (49), etc. What is his purpose in talking about social media in this way, and what effect
does this have?
Consider Gladwell’s use of definitions (both explicit and implicit) and division. For example, Gladwell
creates a set of binaries - real activism/false activism; real participation, fake participation; real social
change that threatens the status quo, and fake change that sounds radical but merely reinforces existing
power structures. Find others and discuss how these divisions are used to persuade. All authors establish
divisions, which can be valuable tools for quickly identifying things and thinking about the world. However,
some divisions, particularly those involving stark dichotomies, can lead to oversimplification. Consider
whether any of the divisions Gladwell makes risk oversimplification.
Consider the strategic choice of the 1960s civil rights examples Gladwell uses. These are represented as
the standard against which all subsequent activism is to be measured. They are paradigmatic. Why select
these examples? How are they used?
Rebuttals: how does Gladwell construct the claims of those he opposes? How does he make the “They
Say” move (to use Graff’s term).
How does he go about refuting those claims? Collect every reference Gladwell makes to claims/authors
he disagrees with. What patterns do you see? What overall characterization does G work to create? How
effective is this, and why?
If you have time…
Once you have mapped the argument and identified strategies, you could ask students to critically
evaluate claims, strategies, and evidence.
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DRAFTING
Drafting Paper 1: What Not to Do
An example of what not to do. This draft could be used to discuss what not to do when constructing an
account of Gladwell. Ask students how this student does not do what it is supposed to. For example, this
starts by summarizing chronologically, rather than focusing on claims. Little focus on claims and
evidence. Use of transitional phrase "on the other hand" makes no sense, etc.
Small Change: Why the Revolution Will Not Be Tweeted
Gladwell’s article is about a few college students who went to enjoy some coffee at a local
restaurant who encountered some trouble. The trouble they came across was the waitress refused
to serve them because of the color of their skin. Instead of backing down they stood up to their
enemy and began to protest. The protest got so big that it crossed into other states even as far west
as Texas. Gladwell’s main point is that we do not need all of these social websites to practice real
activism, in fact he thinks Facebook and Twitter are the complete opposite of what is used to
practice true activism. On the other hand, Gladwell believes that different forms of social media will
not start a revolution, although others believe the opposite.
I agree with Gladwell that using social media is not the way to practice true activism. Activism was
practiced way before Twitter and Facebook had even been created. With that being said, back then
we practiced activism without social media so there is no reason as to why we can’t practice
activism now without using social media. I must also respectively disagree with Gladwell saying that
social media will not start a revolution. I believe social media has the power to start a revolution.
Whether the revolution is statewide or worldwide. Social media can be a pretty powerful thing and
how fast information can spread because of social media could also be a powerful threat to our
society and to society’s in other countries.
http://blogs.longwood.edu/engl150sec1314/2012/09/12/malcolm-gladwells-small-change/
19
Outline for Introduction
1. [Optional] Hook the reader and introduce the topic by a) establishing the significance of the issue
b) locating a relevant quotation, c) posing a question, etc. (but beware “from the dawn of time”
sentences.)
2. What is the title & who is author of the text you’re talking about here? What is his purpose and
what is the context?
3. What was his work that led to this text? What is his project NOW? (“M investigates …researches
… explores … presents … demonstrates …employs rhetorical strategies that …”
4. What is his overall argument? What does he want this text to do?
a. (…make us think about …)
b. (…confront us with …)
c. (…challenge us with …)
d. (…persuade us to believe that …)
5. Metalanguage: Take your pick (or draft your own):
a. “In this paper I will explore his claims that …. and I will show”
b. “In this paper I will explore his strategic use of evidence, or logos, so that …”
c. “In this paper I will demonstrate how pathos is used to draw us into the story of …”
d. “X’s strongest rhetorical move is his strategic use of evidence to demonstrate claims
which move from local to global. In this paper I will show …”
6. Read it over and make sure it hangs together, and each sentence leads nicely to the next.
Using They Say/I Say with Assignment 1
Homework Assignments
To Accompany Writing Process for Essay # 1:
1. Read Intro (pp.1-13). Do Exercise 1 on p. 13 with argument essay used to launch course
(usually a short handout).
2. Read Chapter One (pp. 17-37). Using applicable templates in the chapter, write up a short
summary of the reading being used in class. Try to use at least one template from each
section in the chapter. Underline them as you use them.
3. Read Chapter Two (pp. 28-37). Review the summary you wrote for the last assignment
and identify anyplace where your own opinions (agreement and disagreement) come
through. Underline those areas and re-write the summary, using Elbow’s “believing
game” to guide you, as well as the verbs listed on p. 37.
Recommended In-Class Exercises:
1. For writing un-biased summaries: Page 38, # 1
2. For peer review of rough drafts, after chapter 8 has been incorporated (transitions),
always review and remind students to keep in mind when reading their own essays as
well as those of their peers. Exercise #2 on p. 114 can be applied to a peer review session.
3. Same as above for chapter 10 (metacommentary). Exercise #2 on p. 132 can be applied to
a peer review session.
20
Starter Sentences for Source Integration
Integrating one source into a text:
1. XXX argues (maintains, insists) that ____________________.
(Many possibilities for verbs here. See back.)
2. According to X, ____________________________________.
3. Ellen Ochoa, X points out, is both a musician and a scientist.
4. This text, by XXX, is focused upon ___________________________.
5. The principal claim that Dr. King makes in this letter is that African-Americans can
no longer wait to enjoy the rights already given to them by the United States
Constitution (3).
7. As Dr. King notes (2), there were a variety of reasons for him to come to
Birmingham.
8. It can be argued, as X does, that the most important influence on Dr. King was racial
segregation (192).
Synthesizing and/or integrating material from more than one source:
9. The three authors consulted agree that Dr. King was the principal leader in the
Montgomery bus boycott (Lewis 19, Stirs 21, MacDonald 121).
10. Historians have long assumed that it was Dr. King who began the boycott. However,
new research indicates that ___________________________ (Markham 123, West
22).
11. Though Watson points out that there were many people involved in SNCC and
CORE, Branch argues that it was Dr. King who put the civil rights issues on the
national agenda (23).
12. Although Dr. King’s biography (Walker) says little about his disagreements with
other clergy, King’s letter has a great deal to say about his disagreements and
disappointments with the elite clergy of Birmingham (10-12).
Explaining why your claim about the leader is important
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13. Understanding the influence of Gandhi and his plea for non-violent protest is
important because Dr. King was under a great deal of pressure to resort to violence in
the Civil Rights Movement (Branch).
14. Although these specific experiences that Dr. King had may seem trivial, they are
central to his later development as a leader.
15. This discussion of King’s Christianity is, in fact, addressing the larger matter of nonviolence.
16. It can be concluded, then, that the most important contributions of Dr. King were his
insistence upon non-violence and his involvement in the Birmingham protests.
Categories of verbs for summaries and quotations
(Graff & Berkenstein, p. 37)
Making a claim: argue, assert, claim, emphasize, insist, observe, remind us, report, suggest.
[Notice some are stronger than others.]
Expressing agreement with a writer: acknowledge, admire, agree, celebrate the fact that,
corroborate, do not deny, endorse, extol, praise, reaffirm, support, verify.
Questioning or disagreeing: complain, complicate, contend, contradict, deny, deplore the
tendency to, disavow, question, refute, reject, renounce, repudiate.
Verbs for making recommendations: advocate, call for, demand, encourage, exhort, implore,
plead, recommend, urge, and warn.
22
Rhetorical Précis – description and examples
In order to help us quickly and effectively describe the argument an author is making in a text, we will be
utilizing a method of description called the rhetorical précis. Developed by Margaret Woodworth, 3 this
method is designed to highlight key elements of the rhetorical situation, and help students with reading
comprehension and treatment of source materials in their writing. We will use it often over the course of
the semester.
This précis is a highly structured four-sentence paragraph that records the essential rhetorical elements in
any spoken or written discourse. The précis includes the name of the speaker/writer(s), the context or
situation in which the text is delivered, the major assertion, the mode of development for or support of the
main idea, the stated and/or apparent purpose of the text, and the relationship between the
speaker/writer(s) and the audience. The following is a breakdown of the information you should include
in each one of the four sentences.
1. Name of the author, a phrase describing the author, the type and title of the work, the date (in
parenthesis), a rhetorically accurate verb (such as “assert,” “argue,” “suggest,” “imply,” “claim,”
“question,” etc.) that describes what the author is doing in the text, and a THAT clause in which
you state the major assertion (argument statement) of the author’s text.
2. An explanation of how the author develops and/or supports the argument—the rhetorical structure
of the text (for instance, comparing and contrasting, narrating, illustrating, defining, etc.). Your
explanation is usually presented in the same chronological order that the items of support are
presented in the work.
3. A statement of the author’s apparent purpose, followed by an IN ORDER TO phrase in which
you explain what the author wants the audience to do or feel as a result of reading the work.
4. A description of the intended audience and/or the relationship the author establishes with the
author.
Example: British philosopher, John Stuart Mill, in his essay “On Nature” (1850), argues that using
nature as a standard for ethical behavior is illogical. He supports this claim by first giving the common
definitions as nature as, “all that exists or all that exists without the intervention of man” and then
supplying extensive examples of the daily brutality of nature in the real world. His purpose is to call
attention to the flaws in the “nature as a standard” argument in order to convince people to discard this
standard and to instead use reason and logic to determine the appropriate ethical standard of action for
mankind. He establishes a formal, scholarly tone for the reader of “Nature”—an audience of
philosophers, educators, and other interested citizens.
3
Woodworth, Margaret K. "The Rhetorical Précis." Rhetoric Review 7 (1988): 156-164. "The Rhetorical Précis."
Rhetoric Review 7 (1988): 156-164. Woodworth article reports significant success with her students at various
levels, particularly in reading comprehension and preparation for using source materials in their own academic
writing. The rhetorical précis is taken up in Reading Rhetorically, Brief Edition, Bean et al., New York:
Pearson/Longman, 2004. p. 63. Helpful additional information can be found on this site,
http://english.ecu.edu/~wpbanks/eng8601/8601precis.html.
23
Rhetorical Précis Frame (Must be typed)
1. (Author’s credentials), (author’s first and last name) in his/her (type of text), (title of text), published
in (publishing info) addresses the topic of (topic of text) and argues that (argument).
2. He/she supports this claim by___________, then___________, then_____________, and
finally____________.
3. (Author’s last name)’s purpose is to (author’s purpose in writing) in order to (change in
reader/society the author wants to achieve).
4. He/she adopts a(n) __________ tone for his/her audience, the readers of (publication) and others
interested in the topic of______________.
SAMPLE RHETORICAL PRECIS
EXAMPLE 1: “Sheridan Baker, in his essay "Attitudes" (1966), asserts that writers' attitudes toward their
subjects, their audiences, and themselves determine to a large extent the quality of their prose. Baker
supports this assertion by showing examples of how inappropriate attitudes can make writing unclear,
pompous, or boring, concluding that a good writer "will be respectful toward his audience, considerate
toward his readers, and somehow amiable toward human failings" (58). His purpose is to make his
readers aware of the dangers of negative attitudes in order to help them become better writers. He
establishes an informal relationship with his audience of college students who are interested in learning to
write "with conviction"
NOTE that the first sentence identifies the author (Baker), the genre (essay), the title and date, and uses
an active verb (asserts) and the relative pronoun that to explain what exactly Baker asserts. The second
sentence explains the first by offering chronological examples from Baker's essay, while the third
sentence suggests the author's purpose and WHY (in order to) he has set out that purpose (or seems to
have set out that purpose -- not all essays are explicit about this information and readers have to put the
pieces together). The final sentence identifies the primary audience of the essay (college students) and
suggests how this audience is brought into/connected to the essay's purpose. (From
http://english.ecu.edu/~wpbanks/eng8601/8601precis.html)
EXAMPLE 2:
1. Emeritus professor of economic and social history at Birkbeck, University of London, Erick J. Hobsbawm, in
his article, “Spreading Democracy”, published in Foreign Policy (Sep./Oct. 2004) addresses the topic of western
political hegemony and argues that the belief that western-style liberal democracy can be spread to the wider
world through military coercion is “dangerous and illusory”.
2. He supports this claim by presenting three factors that confound even the best intentions of states that would
spread democracy, then predicting how and why such attempts have failed and will continue to fail, then lays
out a fundamental paradox that impugns democracy’s ability to organize transnational entities, and finally
points out the danger of promoting a system to other political entities that is seriously flawed in its practice by
the hegemon.
3. Hobsbawm’s purpose is to point out the limitations of liberal democracy in order to urge his readers to reject
the assertions of ideologues who promote the enforcement of western “values” as international altruism.
24
4. He adopts a critical, authoritative, yet not overbearing (with hints of blackberry and leather) tone for his/her
audience, the readers of (Foreign Policy) and others interested in the topic of geopolitics.
EXAMPLE 3:
1. Independent scholar, Indur M. Goklancy in a policy analysis for the Cato institute, argues that globalization
has created benefits in overall “human well-being” by providing statistics that show how factors such as
mortality rates, child labor, lack of education, and hunger have all decreased under globalization. His purpose is
to show that the success of globalization should be judged by many measures of instead of just income
inequality in order to rebut social critics of globalization. He establishes an objective, scientific tone to convince
the readers of the Cato Institute, policy makers, and interested citizens that his view is the most informed and
logical
EXAMPLE 44: In her article "Who Cares if Johnny Can't Read?" (1997), Larissa MacFarquhar asserts
that Americans are reading more than ever despite claims to the contrary and that it is time to reconsider
why we value reading so much, especially certain kinds of "high culture" reading. MacFarquhar supports
her claims about American reading habits with facts and statistics that compare past and present reading
practices, and she challenges common assumptions by raising questions about reading's instrisic value.
Her purpose is to dispel certain myths about reading in order to raise new and more important questions
about the value of reading and other media in our culture. She seems to have a young, hip, somewhat
irreverent audience in mind because her tone is sarcastic, and she suggests that the ideas she opposes are
old-fashioned positions.
from Bean, John C., Virginia A. Chappell, and Alice M. Gillam. Reading Rhetorically, Brief Edition. New
York: Pearson/Longman, 2004. p. 63.
EXAMPLE 5: Toni Morrison, in her essay "Disturbing Nurses and the Kindness of Sharks," implies that
racism in the United States has affected the craft and process of American novelists. Morrison supports
her implication by describing how Ernest Hemingway writes about black characters in his novels and
short stories. Her purpose is to make her readers aware of the cruel reality of racism underlying some of
the greatest works of American literature in order to help them examine the far-reaching effects racism
has not only on those discriminated against but also on those who discriminate. She establishes a formal
and highly analytical tone with her audience of racially mixed (but probably mainly white), theoretically
sophisticated readers and critical interpreters of American literature. from
http://www.wam.umd.edu/~sapinoso/precis.htm
EXAMPLE 6: Sandra M. Gilbert, professor of English at the University of California, Davis, in her
essay “Plain Jane’s Progress” (1977), suggests that Charlotte Brontë intended Jane Eyre to resemble John
Bunyan’s Pilgrim’s Progress in that Jane’s pilgrimage through a series of events based on the enclosure
and escape motif eventually lead toward the equality that Brontë herself sought. Gilbert supports this
conclusion by using the structure of the novel to highlight the places Jane has been confined, the changes
she undergoes during the process of escape, and the individuals and experiences that lead to her
maturation concluding that "this marriage of true minds at Ferndean – this is the way" (501). Her purpose
is to help readers see the role of women in Victorian England in order to help them understand the
uniqueness and daring of Brontë’s work. She establishes a formal relationship with her audience of
literary scholars interested in feminist criticism who are familiar with the work of Brontë, Bunyan, Lord
Byron and others and are intrigued by feminist theory as it relates to Victorian literature.
from http://www.winthrop.edu/english/core/success/precis.htm
Example 7: Charles S. Peirce's article, "The Fixation of Belief" (1877), asserts that humans have
psychological and social mechanisms designed to protect and cement (or "fix") our beliefs. Peirce backs
4
Examples 4-7 are from http://english.ecu.edu/~wpbanks/eng8601/8601precis.html.
25
this claim up with descriptions of four methods of fixing belief, pointing out the effectiveness and
potential weaknesses of each method.Peirce's purpose is to point out the ways that people commonly
establish their belief systems in order to jolt the awareness of the reader into considering how their own
belief system may the product of such methods and to consider what Peirce calls "the method of science"
as a progressive alternative to the other three. Given the technical language used in the article, Peirce is
writing to an well-educated audience with some knowledge of philosophy and history and a willingness to
other ways of thinking. (from http://oregonstate.edu/instruct/phl201/modules/rhetoricalprecis/sample/peirce_sample_precis_click.html
Turning your précis into an introduction
Most introductory paragraphs include the same information as is contained in the rhetorical
précis.
Here is a précis for Rifkin’s article titled “A Change of Heart About Animals.”
1. Economist Jeremy Rifkin, in the LA Times editorial titled “A Change of Heart About Animals”
(September 1, 2003), argues that new scientific evidence demonstrates that humans and animals
are more alike than previously assumed.
2. Rifkin supports his argument by introducing human attributes assumed lacking in animals and
then providing evidence that show animals share these characteristics.
3. The author’s purpose is to persuade us that animals and humans are similar in order to gain
support for ethical treatment of animals.
4. The author writes in a respectful tone with informal language to appeal to the broad audience
that reads the LA Times.
The following is an introduction based on the précis. See if you can locate all the précis
information. You will note that at times the author varies from the very exact precis structure.
The author’s purpose is to write a rhetorical analysis of the Rifkin editorial.
The author begins by introducing a topic, which is that many people ascribe human
characteristics to animals. The author reviews fictional works that do this and then suggests
that perhaps animals actually do share human characteristics, providing a bridge to the précis.
The author loosens the précis structure and turns some of the complex sentences into more
than once sentence. However, she does not add additional information. She is saving that for
the body paragraphs. Finally, the author signals the direction of the essay and makes a claim.
This is her thesis.
Cinderella’s mice sew her a beautiful dress so she can attend the ball. In The Lion King,
all the animals bow down to the king of beasts, and a rivalry develops between royal
contenders. One We smile when we see Lady and the Tramp share a spaghetti dinner.
Making animals seem more like humans in films and television makes us happy. We
know it’s not real. After all, mice don’t really sew. But maybe animals actually share
many human characteristics. In an LA Times editorial titled “A Change of Heart
About Animals” (September 1, 2003), economist Jeremy Rifkin argues that new
scientific evidence demonstrates that humans and animals are more alike than
previously assumed. Rifkin supports his argument by introducing human attributes
assumed lacking in animals and then providing evidence that show animals share these
characteristics. He also provides narratives about specific animals, showing similarities
between us and them. Rifkin’s purpose is to persuade his audience that animals and
26
humans are similar to gain support more ethical treatment of animals. The article
adopts a respectful tone with informal language in order to appeal to a broad audience.
This paper will focus on the use of narratives depicting animals with human
characteristics and discuss strategies Rifkin uses to help his audience identify
with these animals.
27
Example: One Way of Structuring the Introduction
In this new era of advertising, products, services, and ideologues are always clamoring for our attention.
Gone are the days of selling us goods based on a product’s attributes.
Rather, media critic Douglas Rushkoff details how an entire professional class develops coercive
techniques to influence our daily decisions in his essay “They Say,” the introduction to his book
Coercion: Why We Listen to What ‘They’ Say.
Rushkoff, a journalist, novelist and critic, is the author of several books that championed technology as
the people’s liberation against the so-called authority of “they.” However, through his work, he learned
that all ideas—even his—were co-opted by this professional class of coercers.
With this realization, he became a double-agent, studying how these coercers—among them marketers,
politicians, and religious leaders—develop techniques to sway us, while simultaneously exposing these
techniques for the public’s benefit.
In fact, he points out that persuasion in and of itself is not a bad thing. For example, our deferment to
authority (“they”) is based on the healthy, psychological and social behavior rooted in deferring to
parental figures (221). This essay persuades us that we are being “hunted” by those that want to
manipulate such healthy processes for their own benefit and challenges us to become media literate to
stop the “coercive arms race” between “us” and “them” that is deteriorating our communities.
In this paper, I will describe Rushkoff’s major claims, examine evidence used to back them up, and
analyze two strategies he uses to persuade the reader of his position—strategies that closely resemble the
manipulative techniques he describes advertisers using. I suggest that Rushkoff dramatizes a paradox we
all face - that we cannot escape these persuasive tactics, and neither can we avoid using them ourselves.
This helps subtly support his argument that the only solution is to build critical awareness of persuasion.
An example of what not to do
This draft could be used to discuss what not to do when constructing an account of Gladwell. Ask students
how this student does not do what it is supposed to. For example, this starts by summarizing
chronologically, rather than focusing on claims. Claims and evidence are not mentioned. Use of
transitional phrase "on the other hand" makes no sense, etc.
Small Change: Why the Revolution Will Not Be Tweeted
Gladwell’s article is about a few college students who went to enjoy some coffee at a local restaurant
who encountered some trouble. The trouble they came across was the waitress refused to serve them
because of the color of their skin. Instead of backing down they stood up to their enemy and began to
protest. The protest got so big that it crossed into other states even as far west as Texas. Gladwell’s
main point is that we do not need all of these social websites to practice real activism, in fact he
thinks Facebook and Twitter are the complete opposite of what is used to practice true activism. On
the other hand, Gladwell believes that different forms of social media will not start a revolution,
although others believe the opposite.
I agree with Gladwell that using social media is not the way to practice true activism. Activism was
practiced way before Twitter and Facebook had even been created. With that being said, back then we
practiced activism without social media so there is no reason as to why we can’t practice activism
now without using social media. I must also respectively disagree with Gladwell saying that social
media will not start a revolution. I believe social media has the power to start a revolution. Whether
the revolution is statewide or worldwide. Social media can be a pretty powerful thing and how fast
information can spread because of social media could also be a powerful threat to our society and to
28
society’s in other countries. http://blogs.longwood.edu/engl150sec1314/2012/09/12/malcolmgladwells-small-change/
Body Template
Body: This is the part of the paper where analysis is king.
o What to include:
 Identify and explain the author’s central claim/related claims
 Explain how the author uses various kinds of evidence to substantiate his claims,
taking examples from the text to illustrate your explanation.
 [Optional] Describe the author’s style of writing, the arrangement of his
presentation and the probable audience he is hoping to reach. Include some
discussion of the assumptions he makes about his audience and how that
influences his argument.
 Describe one strategy he uses to persuade the reader of the validity of his
argument.
o
How to talk about it
 Use evidence from the text (paraphrase).
 QUOTE directly from the text. Remember I expect these to be “quotation
sandwiches” as stated in They Say/I Say, page 39-49. Useful templates are on
pages 166-67.
 Explain why your quote/evidence is important/relevant/useful.
 Comment on how the quote/evidence is related to the main idea/claim.
 Use metadiscourse, i.e. language like: “for example,” “It seems that,” “Here,
Friedman implies,” “Apparently, he is interested in,” “It appears as if,” “One
notable strategy used often is,” “As is evident when he,” “According to
Friedman,” etc. See They Say/I Say templates, page 165
Conclusion
If your introduction is an inverted triangle, your conclusion is a triangle—you start at the end of
the evidence and then branch out to the larger implications of your analysis. Select one of the
following:
 Restate what your key points in your essay were (reestablish your “purpose
statement”).
 Consider the significance of the argument – why does it matter (generally, to
you,etc.)
 Assess the strength of Friedman’s claims in the text, based on his overall goal,
the audience he is trying to reach, and the evidence and strategies he uses to
persuade that audience.
29
Rubric #1: Constructing An Account
Your grade reflects your ability to:
Strong Satisfactory Needs Imp.
Accurately and effectively introduce and contextualize Gladwell, his article,
his project, and his argument in your introduction.
Clearly signal to your reader what you plan to discuss in your paper and
say how you’ll present/organize your analysis.
Accurately describe and explain Gladwell’s key claims and their
relationship to the overall argument. Demonstrate a critical comprehension
of Gladwell’s argument and use of key terms.
Critically discuss Gladwell’s use of evidence and strategies to support his
argument. Listing evidence is not a critical discussion – the discussion must
include how the evidence supports a specific claim.
Effectively use textual evidence to support your analysis. Adequately
introduce, correctly cite, and effectively comment on the sources.
Conclude your paper by presenting a thoughtful, persuasive analysis of
one of the following: a) the significance of the argument, b) how the author
has impacted your thinking/views on this topic, c) the effectiveness of the
argument (a key strength or weakness)
Use an effective structure that smoothly guides the reader from one idea to
the next. Your careful attention to transitioning and topic sentences will be
considered here.
Have thoroughly edited your paper so that sentences are readable and
appropriate for an academic audience. Adhere to MLA format, grammar,
and sentence structure.
Demonstrate a strong command of the written language. Voice and style
will be considered here.
Other comments:
30
Name:
Grade:
Sample Introduction Paragraphs
A) 1. Malcolm Gladwell's "The Moral Hazard Myth" (2005) offers an unabashed critique of the
broken health care system in the United States which currently leaves 47 million Americans
uninsured. 2. Writing to a predominantly affluent readership in The New Yorker, Gladwell
realizes that his audience may be largely unaware of the hardships faced by the uninsured. 3. As
a result, he relies heavily on anecdotes from Susan Starr Sered and Rushika Fernandopulle's
Uninsured in America, illustrating his claims that people without health insurance face more
hardships than most people realize and that the majority of uninsured are working poor. 4. He
explains that the current system relies on the premise of an economic theory called "moral
hazard," which he argues does not translate accurately when applied to the behavior of health
care customers. 5. He criticizes the Bush administration's proposed policy and ultimately
advocates a universal coverage system, such as the ones utilized by the vast majority of
industrialized nations around the world.
B) 1. The issue of health care is one that is widely debated in America today. 2. While some
people are happy with the care they receive, others are not. 3. Malcom Gladwell, a writer for the
renowned New Yorker magazine, in his article “The Moral Hazard Myth,” challenges Americans'
preconceived notions about health care by exploring the “the bad idea” known as “Moral
Hazard” and its negative effects on the current system. 4. Gladwell argues that by adopting a
"Moral Hazard" style of thinking, policymakers have long implemented an ineffective health
care system which has resulted in an unfair dynamic between the insured and uninsured and is, in
fact, wasting money and risking lives. 5. In this essay, for each one of Gladwell’s three sections
in his piece, I will describe some of his central claims, discuss the kinds of evidence he uses to
support these claims, analyze his organization and how it furthers his argument, and finally, I
will conclude by commenting on the overall significance and effectiveness of his argument.
C. 1.With an overwhelming 47 million Americans uninsured (almost 20% of its citizens), and
unpaid medical bills dominating the number one cause of personal bankruptcy, Americans have
been becoming increasingly concerned about the physical and financial effects of their failing
healthcare system. 2. In the year following the Bush Administration’s announcement of the
Health Savings Account Systems, long-time New Yorker author Malcolm Gladwell wrote an
article tackling the heavy project of informing an educated, politically liberal, moderately
wealthy audience of the theoretical and fundamental flaws their healthcare system is built upon.
3. The New Yorker expects its 996,000 readers to tune in to Gladwell’s journalistic background
and strong reputation, which earns him the title of one of Time Magazine’s 100 Most Influential
People, and ponder the research he offers from a variety of experts from healthcare, economic,
and political fields. 4. Gladwell suggests that the most fundamental flaw the system is built upon
is the economic principle of Moral Hazard. 5.He argues that the way U.S. policy makers
conceptualize the nature of health insurance (particularly in relation to the idea of “moral
hazard,”) promotes an actuarial system of health care and prevents the Unites States from
implementing a universal healthcare system that would better serve the needs of the entire
population. 6. This paper will illustrate how Gladwell builds his argument effectively through
logical organization of ideas, variety and placement of evidence types, and conscientious
31
‘moves,’ all of which allow him to inform and ultimately sway the reader to his position of
universal health care.
SAMPLE BODY PARAGRAPHS
A) 1. One claim that Gladwell puts forward to support his main argument is that routine medical checkups are anything but wasteful. 2.He supplements this claim by including a personal illustration of his visit
to the doctor to get his moles checked. 3.Gladwell explains that if he were responsible to pay a large
portion of the checkup’s cost that he may not have gone at all. Incidentally, if his moles were cancerous,
it would actually cost the medical industry much more money to treat him at a later stage. 4. This claim
relates to Gladwell’s main argument because it is a direct refutation of the moral hazard theory: “The
focus on moral hazard suggests that the changes in our behavior when we have insurance are nearly
always wasteful. 5. Yet, when it comes to health care, many of the things we do only because we have
insurance—like getting our moles checked, or getting our teeth cleaned regularly, or getting a
mammogram or engaging in other routine health care—are anything but wasteful and inefficient” (par.
12). 6. There is a strong use of logos in this passage due to the rational nature of his claim and the
examples given as evidence to support it. 7. In other words, Gladwell proves why it is illogical to think
that having insurance would waste medical expenses. 8. Additionally, by providing the reader with his
personal experience, Gladwell is establishing credibility, or ethos, because he is sharing his first-hand
knowledge with medical insurance. 9. Gladwell’s strong use of ethos and logos in this segment further
legitimates his argument against the moral hazard theory.
B) 1. Because Gladwell is ultimately advocating a social form of health insurance over an actuarial
model, he has more work to do in his article than simply proving that the idea of the “moral hazard” is
one of the primary factors behind the persistence of the United States’s current health-care system. 2. He
must also clearly establish the negative elements of the current actuarial model. 3. He does this by
providing various facts, statistics, and other forms of support throughout his piece that reveal the failings
of this system; however, some of the most interesting moves he makes as he works towards establishing
this idea occur in the first section of the article.
4. He opens with a graphic description of the process of tooth decay, which produces a visceral response
in his readers, drawing them into the article and connecting them to it on a personal level by enabling
them to imagine the process occurring in their own mouth. 5. He follows this with the work of Harvard
researchers Susan Starr Sered and Rushika Fernanopulle who found that dental problems were the largest
complaint among the subjects they interviewed for their book “Uninsured in America.” 6. Building on
this, he enumerates not only the health problems that arise from untreated dental maladies but the social
and financial difficulties that are ultimately produced by poor dental health. 7. He creates a chain of logic
in this section that enables him to claim that “the U. S. health-care system…, has created a group of
people who increasingly look different from others and suffer in ways that others do not.” 8. In other
words, the system produces inequalities among people not just in terms of their health but also in terms of
their socio-economic prospects. 9. By making this claim he is relying on the fact that most of his readers
will hold the fundamental American belief that our country is a land of equal opportunity. 10. For those
readers who do, the evidence he produces to prove that an actuarial model of health insurance puts certain
citizens at a disadvantage over others will produce a negative reaction within them to a system that
violates that value. From this position, he is able to launch his attack on the actuarial insurance model
and President Bush’s Health Savings Accounts that figures heavily in section 3 of the article.
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Tips for Project 1: Constructing an Account of an Argument
This document is intended to be useful for students who have carefully read the text and the prompt for
Project 1. It will be most useful for students who have already begun on the assignment and so have
specific questions in mind about how to write the assigned essay.
Some questions covered here:
Can’t you tell me in one sentence what to do in this assignment?
Should I use as a model the essays I wrote in high school?
What does “constructing an account” mean?
Can I talk about appeals to ethos, pathos, and logos in this essay?
I think I’m a bad writer. Do you have any suggestions?
OK, I read the prompt. Can’t you tell me in one sentence what to do in this assignment?
To be concise – no. As an advanced writer, you will be analyzing a variety of different aspects of what the
text is doing. “Constructing an account of the argument” can be considered the broad topic, but within
that you will be doing each of the things the prompt asks. It would be silly to narrow it down to
“describing the project, argument, claims, etc.” because you are asked to cover more than that.
The first step, of course, is to describe the main elements of the argument. But you will also be
demonstrating your ability to make a well-supported argument about which claims that the writer makes
are most important, what kind of evidence is used to support the claims and why it is used, and the
various rhetorical approaches the writer uses to affect the audience. In essence, you will be describing,
making a claim, exposing the rhetorical strategies the writer uses, and analyzing the effect of the elements
of the text on the audience, all in one essay.
Should I use as a model the essays I wrote in high school?
That depends. Some things we are not focusing on in this essay:
-
Summarizing the text. I don’t want a book report detailing what is said in each section.
Paraphrasing the main argument and sub-claims will, of course, be essential, but the goal is to
analyze what the text is doing rather than just to reiterate what it is saying.
-
The “five-paragraph essay” format. Don’t get me wrong – you might only write five
paragraphs (not advised for a 4-6 page paper, but every writer is different). You will also
have an introduction, body, and conclusion. However, I don’t want the intro to just give the
writer’s bio, the body to give three, unrelated, independent main points about the text, and the
conclusion to re-state what you’ve already said. Please visit the guidelines for structuring
your essay for more on how to use each paragraph to develop an argument and convince the
reader of its significance.
-
Whether or not you liked it/disliked it/think the writer is amazing/think the writer is boring…
You will be asserting your opinion in this essay in the form of trying to convince your reader
what you think is most important in the text and the rhetorical approaches it uses. You will
also be using your own experiences as part of the “audience” of the text to discuss the effects
of the text on the reader. However, editorial comments on your own views of the issues raised
or your opinion on the writer are better left for another essay.
33
I want to write a longer note on this subject, because it is often confusing and disheartening
for students who have become adept at discussing and supporting their own opinions in
reflective essays, editorials, or in-class debates. I like to talk about this subject in terms of an
appeal to ethos. No reader or listener gives much weight to someone’s opinion of a text
unless they trust that the person is an authority in understanding the intent of the text and the
way it was composed. For example, if I was walking down the street and I overheard
someone say they thought a movie was “stupid and boring,” it wouldn’t mean much to me. If
it was Steven Spielberg, or Roger Ebert, I might have a better idea of the kind of criticism
being offered. Even still, I would rather know what aspects of the film he was criticizing. For
this project, you will first be developing your ethos as a writer, convincing your audience that
you have authority and ability to construct an account of the argument.
I hope that this has at least explained many of the things I am not looking for in your essays. To recap: 1)
limit the summary of the text to only what is necessary; 2) seek to develop an argument sentence by
sentence, rather than having each paragraph make separate, unrelated points; and, 3) avoid using words or
phrases that focus on what you liked or disliked in or about the text.
I now know to keep my focus on analyzing the text, rather than summarizing or editorializing. But
what does “constructing an account of the argument” even mean?
Constructing an account of the argument means that you will be addressing an educated reader, unfamiliar
with the text, and developing an argument about the rhetorical moves the text is making. You are
convincing your audience of the ways that the text strategically affects a reader. You are beginning with
the project and overall argument of the text, and then discussing and analyzing the sub-claims, the
evidence chosen carefully to convince the reader of those claims, and explaining why the writer built the
argument that way. You are also documenting each of your statements with examples from the text,
building an argument of your own that would be difficult to refute because it is so well-supported.
I hear all this talk about strategies. Can I talk about appeals to ethos, pathos, and logos in this
essay?
The goal of this assignment is, first and foremost, to construct an account of the project, argument, claims,
and evidence that are present in the text. In doing so, you will also be focusing on the “strategy” behind
why the writer chooses to organize the text as it is, how the evidence is convincing and why it was
chosen, and the effects of these things on the audience.
There isn’t a reason why you couldn’t discuss other rhetorical strategies in this text – including
acknowledging objections, rebuttals, warrants, fallacies, and the Aristotelian appeals (ethos, pathos, and
logos). However, remember that your primary goal in this essay is to construct an account of the
argument – not to talk about the effectiveness of the strategies used. As a writer, you are first developing
your authority in analyzing rhetorical arguments. Analyzing rhetorical strategies is an even more
advanced subject, and one we will be moving into further in Project 3. If you have addressed everything
else superbly, I don’t see any reason why you couldn’t tackle strategies as well; however, I think it will be
difficult to do so well in an essay of this length.
If you are interested in covering these strategies, I would highly suggest considering doing so in a
separate paper or a much longer paper. I am open to reading your work, so if this is something you would
like to do please discuss it with me in advance. Rest assured that we will have much practice with
rhetorical strategies later in the semester.
34
I think I’m a bad writer. Do you have any suggestions for me?
Take heart! I don’t really think of any writing done in this course as “bad writing.” We are all writers-intraining; some of us with more experience than others.
Firstly – writing is a recursive process (look that word up if you aren’t familiar with it; it’s important and
it’s a great word to throw around at social gatherings). Writing has many stages, and some of the later
stages can seem even less organized or articulated than the early stages. If you’re feeling stuck at a stage
where your writing is disorganized or inarticulate, it probably means that there are things in the way.
Some suggestions:
-
If you are on one of your first drafts, keep writing! Don’t be afraid to let your ideas be simply
stated and then later revised. The more comfortable you are with your ideas not being set in
stone, the easier it will be to develop your ideas first and edit later.
-
If you are “stuck,” ask yourself (or the text) some questions! What haven’t you answered?
What bores you? What interests you? What makes you angry about the assignment? What
motivates you? Why? Which sentence are you still confused by? What audience do you think
the writer isn’t targeting? Why? How might the evidence be different if aimed at a different
audience? What assumptions does the author make?
-
If you struggle with finding vocabulary to express yourself, stop worrying! Do you find
yourself constantly using the thesaurus to find equivalent words, but aren’t really sure if they
mean the same thing? One thing that is easiest for a reader to spot is words that are used
incorrectly. You wouldn’t believe how confusing it is as a reader to try to figure out if a
student is really choosing that word to express the meaning, or just found it in the thesaurus.
Thesauruses are great tools – use them! However; be willing to look up the actual meaning of
the new word and some examples of how it’s used. Another great way to build your
vocabulary (and a more fun one, I think) is to read more. Picking up new vocabulary words
by reading an article on my favorite subject is often far more meaningful to me than using a
thesaurus alone. One more tool is to write down new words you hear and don’t know – and
then to look them up! Over time, this will build your vocabulary skills.
-
If you know (or have been told) that you struggle with grammar, like subject-verb agreement,
don’t let that stop you from writing! There are many tools for working with grammar, and I
am happy to meet with you individually to discuss them. We also have drop-in tutors on
campus who can help with questions about grammar. Most importantly, don’t let grammar
get in the way of writing out your ideas. Presentation is important, and we want the writing to
flow smoothly, but if you aren’t writing at all, none of your thoughts will get across! Focus
first on the writing, then on the editing.
Secondly, each of the essays turned in for this class will require a draft, which will be workshopped with
your peers, often in addition to conferencing with me. The essays you write here will be products of a
process – ever-changing and open to modification. Great writing often takes practice, and we will have
ample room for practice in this class.
35
QUICK GUIDE TO QUOTATIONS (See Graff et al., “The Art of Quoting”)
1. Choose
Carefully
2. Introduce
or “frame”
3. Integrate
4. Explain and
analyze
5. Always Cite
6. Maintain
Your Voice
(handle
attributions)
Choose what you want to use carefully. Make sure you need the quotation to illustrate
your point, and that it connects closely with the point you are making.
You should ‘set up’ or introduce quotations – don’t just insert them into your text
without providing some background. This means they should be introduced with your
own words. You should use introductory phrases that provide context or say what the
author is doing in the section of the text the quotation comes from– for example,
“Author X is concerned about global warming, and describes her alarm in the
following terms. She writes, [insert quotation]…
Make the quoted words fit the language (part of speech and verb tense) of your
writing. You may need to carefully select parts of the quotation to do this.
EXPLAIN the relevance of any direct quote you include to the analysis you’re doing
within that paragraph or section. Never just leave a quote hanging on its own (aka the
“dangling” or “drive-by” quotation, as Graff and Birkenstein put it.)
Always cite the text, author, page number, etc. you are using..
Sometimes when a writer is paraphrasing the ideas of others the viewpoints get mixed
up and the reader finds it difficult to know who is saying what. The writer needs to
provide good "cueing" so that the reader always knows the difference between what
the writer believes and what the source believes.
QUOTATION SANDWICH
Top slice = introduction & framing
(advance your point or interpretation of the
author’s claim, or what the author is doing)
The meat/tofu = the actual quotation
Bottom slice = explain, restate, discuss
significance. Why is it important, and what do you
take it to say?
Quotations & Punctuation
Commas and periods go INSIDE QUOTATIONS unless parenthetical citation follows, in which case the
comma or period goes on the other side of the citation (note that in British English it’s the opposite –
punctuation goes outside the quotation).
"Really, there is no excuse for aggressive behavior," the supervisor said. "It sets a bad example."
The period goes outside of the quotation mark when using a parenthetical reference.
"Animals have a variety of emotions similar to humans" (Erikson 990).
The colon and semicolon always go outside the closing quotation mark.
He referred to this group of people as his "gang": Heidi, Heather Shelley, and Jessie.
36
Block Quotations
When a quote is three lines or longer, it should be inset from margins one inch. In a block quotation, no
quotation marks are used and the period comes before the parenthetical citation.
Chapter 12 of The Hunger Games concludes with Katniss deciding to fight back:
I want to do something, right here, right now, to shame them, to make them accountable,
to show the Capitol that whatever they do or force us to do there is a part of every tribute
they can't own. That Rue was more than a piece in their Games. And so am I. (92)
Clarification/Brackets
Sometimes you may want to insert something into a quotation for clarification. Place any additional
information within square brackets [ ].
Author Elliot Would argues that, "They [Western doctors] are too intent on medicating and not
intent enough on fixing them [ailments] " (Heveronian 29).
Ellipses to indicate parts of the original you have deleted
The ellipses, three spaced dots ( . . . ), indicates that part of a quotation has been left out. Ellipses are
useful when you want to include only the most relevant words of a quotation; however, any omission
must not distort the quotation's original meaning.
 For omissions in the middle of a sentence, use an ellipses.
The character of Sammy was soft-spoken, but he believed strongly in "respect for
women, love of country . . . and a bright, sunny day" (87).
 For omissions at the end of a sentence, use an ellipses followed by a period.
According to Zephron Cochran, "Warp drive is a creation that willchange multitudes of
lives . . . ."
 If a parenthetical citation follows an omission at the end of a sentence, place the period after the
final parenthesis.
Of the many fruits available, Abraham Lincoln thought "apples to be the most nutritious .
. . " (47).
 Omissions immediately following an introductory statement do not need an ellipses.
In Harris' book, one-to-one conferences are "one of the most important aspects of
teaching" (2)
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Signal Verbs & Transitional phrases (Graff and Birkenstein p. 36 – 39)
Use vivid and precise signal verbs to describe how an author makes a claim, and use transitions to
explain relationships and avoid the list of death.
DON’T SAY “Rifkin says that animals are in fact far more like humans than anyone has
previously imagined. He says that the line dividing humans and their ‘fellow creatures’ is one of
degree, not of kind, and there is significant similarity between animals and humans. Rifkin writes
that human qualities that were once considered unique are in fact common in the animal world. He
says that new research shows… Rifkin thus asks us to believe that…
INSTEAD: “Rifkin’s main argument is that animals are in fact far more like humans than
anyone has previously imagined. He advances the provocative claim that the line dividing
humans and their ‘fellow creatures’ is one of degree, not of kind, and that there are significant
similarities between animals and humans. Furthermore, Rifkin argues that qualities that were
once considered uniquely human are in fact common in the animal world. For example, he notes
that new research shows…What he means by this is that…In essence, Rifkin thus asks us to
believe that…
WHAT IS WRONG WITH THESE QUOTATIONS?
1. Syndication, and the spread of cable channels have led to many violent television shows
appearing early in the day when kids can see them. “Shows like Jerry Springer routinely have
guests attack each other, insult each other, and throw chairs across the room.” (Smith, page 1)
2. Scott defines hidden transcript “to characterize discourse that takes place ‘offstage,’ beyond
direct observation by power holders.”
3. Scott contrasts how some people “compare forms of domination in terms of the kinds of display
and public theater they seem to require,” while others “to ask what activities are most sedulously
hidden from public view by different forms of domination.” (530)
4. Aggy hides beneath a mask in order to satisfy her master, because she has no other option; just to
play dumb to fit in between the whites. “As one of the key survival skills of subordinate groups
has been impression management in power-laden situations, the performance aspect of their
conduct has not escaped the more observant members of the dominant group. Again the
subordinate and dominant group stands up, showing how that influences the interaction between
people according to their public and hidden transcripts.
5. He raises the issue that in this country too often some special interest group or religious
organization expects television to raise their children. “It’s like buying a Porsche and then getting
all upset that you can’t haul wood with it.” “The television set is not a teacher, parents are”.
(Goodman, page 1).
Use the Language of Argument and Analysis
See the course reader – pages 11 and 14, plus the “sentence starters” handout. When quoting, use the
language of argument, claims, evidence strategies, and related terms. This means focusing on the
relationship between these terms, and how claims, evidence and moves support the author’s position. It
means considering choices, strategies and purpose. It means identifying strategies, how they work and
why they were chosen.
38
A Four-Part Template For Discussing Claims
In each body section, remember to describe a major claim, explain it fully, provide a quote to illustrate
this claim, then discuss/analyze what the quote means. So a pattern like this could be used:
1. Gladwell claims [describe claim]_____
2. According to Gladwell, [explain claim further]...
3. For example, Gladwell states that "...[give quotation/s]___
4. What he means by this is...[discuss quotation]_____. In other words,…..[explain quotation
further]
39
Quotation Quiz
1. Why has the writer inserted square brackets in the example below?
Jones reports that “everyone who died [in the crash] was under 21.”
2. What should you do if you want to leave out parts of a quotation – i.e. you want to quote from the
start and end of a paragraph, leaving out the material in the middle (hint: what punctuation mark
should you use?)
3. When should you use a block quotation?
4. Circle the errors in this sentence
In “A Variety of Religious Experience”, Mandelbaum claims that “sports and organized religion share
several important features”. (p. 4).
5. What is wrong with the way this person has used a quotation? How would you fix it?
Syndication, and the spread of cable channels have led to many violent television shows appearing early
in the day when kids can see them. “Shows like Jerry Springer routinely have guests attack each other,
insult each other, and throw chairs across the room” (Smith, p 1.)
The following excerpts are from student papers writing an account of Loffreda’s argument in Losing
Matt Shepard. What problems with their use of quotations can you see?
6. One of Loffreda’s most important claims that supports her argument can be found in the middle of her
text, where she says, “It was instead an early manifestation of Laramie’s new double consciousness. We
didn’t simply live here anymore: we were something transmitted, watched, evaluated for symbolic
resonance…” (page 320, paragraph 26) This is perfect evidence of how Laramie, and everyone else
involved, has lost sight of Matt Shepard.
7. A part of Loffreda’s message is that in Laramie gays are often not open about their sexuality. This
exert is evidence for that claim, “..attendance on any given night usually hovers between ten and twenty
members. The group’s email list, however, reaches far more.” (310)
8. Although the LGBTA has few members in attendance at any given meeting, the e-mail list reaches
many more. As one student described, Matt “got what he deserved” (Loffreda, 323) The perpetrator said
they intended “to teach a lesson to him not to come on to straight people” (Loffreda, 321)
9. Loffreda uses a series of contrasts to show differences in people’s attitudes and also to show the nature
of what is happening. “Their unjaded eagerness to publicly involve themselves in the case contrasted
sharply with the university administration’s first response.” This is just one contrast that represents the
actions of most people involved, they were all talk and no action.
40
They Say/I Say & Quote Sandwiches – Class Activities5
Objective: Teaching students how to properly frame quotation to support their own ideas and add to their
argument or thesis instead of just plop in on the party.
Lecture Directions:
 Give the students a bit of vocabulary to work with. The sandwich metaphor is nice and students
immediately understand statements like “you’re lacking top bread” or “your meat and veggies are
a little off of your bread” which save you time writing on their essays explaining how they need
to better support quotes and how to do it.
 To break up the lecture portion, asks students to provide more templates of their own either by
calling them out to write on the board or do a quick free write and share.
Terminology:
Top Bread—the introduction of the quotation. This includes the author introductory sentence such as In
his article, “The Importance of Writing Badly,” Bruce Ballenger describes his take on the beginnings of
the writing process. As well as the quotation introduction, which could follow a number of templates like
the following:
X states, “__________________”
According to X, “___________________”
X himself writes, “______________”
In her book, _______________, X maintains that “_________________”
The Meat & Veggies—the actual quotation being used.
Bottom Bread—What the writer gathers from the quotation. This is the part most students of writing
forget about, so emphasize that the explanation of why the quote is important to their own argument is
very, very important to completing a quote sandwich. Possibly templates for bottom bread look like the
following:
Basically, X is saying ________________
In other words, X believes _________________
X is insisting that __________________
The essence of X’s argument is that ______________________

After giving your students the terminology for framing a quote, it’s time to start acting and
practicing, because practice makes perfect!
Activity Directions:
 Find a source text that uses quotations to further it’s own point but doesn’t frame the quotation
like formal writing should. Newspaper articles are perfect, so grabbing some newspapers from
that day would be perfect. Magazines are great too.
 Also provide the students with a paragraph that does frame a quotation well. I’ve provided one
with this activity sheet sourced from a 101 student’s Unit One essay.
 Asks students to quickly read the article, and find places where there are quotations left
unsupported. Your advanced students will find these spots quickly, so be sure to share and point
out these sections with the entire class.
5
From http://www.bsuenglish101.pbworks.com/f/Quote+Sandwiches.doc
41



Then ask the students to read the paragraph that is well supported.
Make a list on the board of the ways the newspaper article’s author still needs to support their
quotation by comparing it to the essay paragraph.
After the class has a nice sized list on the board it’s time to start writing!
Writing Prompt:
As discussed just now in class, the way these newspaper articles use quotations won’t fly in an essay.
Pick out one paragraph you think you can add some commentary on or can see a way to add the top bread,
bottom bread, or meat and veggies in order to make it function well as a paragraph in an essay. Using
what the author provides you, rewrite this paragraph so it can be a successful aspect of an essay.
Quote Sandwich Example Paragraph:
Not every single piece of writing may be perfect or have a purpose or function. But, sometimes those
pieces may lead to a bigger, better piece of writing. In his essay, “The Importance of Writing Badly,”
Bruce Ballenger says, “Giving myself permission to write badly makes it much more likely that I will
write what I don’t expect to write, and that from those surprises will come some of my best writing”
(Ballenger 1). It usually takes me at least a couple of rough drafts before I feel comfortable and confident
in my writing. I “write badly” in rough drafts because I don’t pay close attention to conventions or
sentence structure. I just try to get the main ideas and the beginning of a body written down in a rough
draft. Then I go back and revise the rough drafts to polish off the writing. All of those rough drafts add
together to make one final, hopefully good piece of writing.
Tweaking this Activity:
If students have a draft that incorporates some form of outside sources, ask them to bring drafts to class
and instead of using the newspapers or articles simply give writing time for everyone to revise a
paragraph to create the perfect or ideal quote sandwich. I used this activity and you’d be amazed at what
this can do to improve the usage of outside sources.
Source: Graff, Gerald, and Cathy Birkenstein. They Say / I Say: The Moves that Matter in Academic
Writing. New York, New York: W.W. Norton & Company, 2006.
In research writing, it's fairly common knowledge that a primary way both to support the validity of your
own position and to shore up your own credibility as a writer is to make use of other writers' work, either
as evidence for your own argument or claim or (as in much of our work) as fellow participants in
discursive conversations. This use of other writers' work, when done responsibly and ethically, is what
we call quotation or citation. (Irresponsible or unethical use, on the other hand, is plagiarism.)
What is less commonly known, though, is what exactly to do with quoted material once we've found a
source we want to use and found interesting, relevant passages within the source. Frankly, the effective
use of citation is more an art than a science; that is, there's no exact prescription for choosing and
deploying cited material effectively all the time. As you continue to write research work and find what
works best for your own writing skills in various writing situations, you'll become more attuned to how to
find and use research sources.
That said, we can still develop some basic moves together that will help hone our abilities to quote
effectively. Drawing on the work of Gerald Graff and Cathy Birkenstein, we can note that students
writers often make three kinds of errors regarding the use of cited material:
42
1. Not quoting enough. Graff and Birkenstein argue this occurs when writers "don't want to bother
going back to the original text, or because they think they can reconstruct the author's ideas from
memory" (39).
2. Conversely, writers sometimes quote too much. Here, Graff and Birkenstein suggest that writers
sometimes "lack confidence in their ability to comment on the quotations, or because they don't
fully understand them and therefore have trouble explaining what they mean" (39-40).
3. Assuming that quotations speak for themselves. Graff and Birkenstein label this "the main
problem with quotation" (40). In essence, this occurs when a writer forgets that while a particular
passage's meaning may be clear to her, it is rarely so transparent to her readers.
Our focus today is on this third point: making quotations say what you want them to say, rather than
assuming they speak for themselves. We'll use what Graff and Birkenstein refer to variously as "framing"
or "quotation sandwich" techniques in order to develop ways to use cited material more effectively.
What we want to avoid is using so-called "dangling" or "hit-and-run" quotations (Graff and Birkenstein
41-2). In these cases, quotations are inserted haphazardly into a text without any explanation of what
they mean or how they connect to the writer's own argument or question. In my own experience, this
happens most often when students turn to statistical or other empirical data or research to support a
point; students end up citing some figure or number that is claimed to represent some trend or
significance, but then fail to make them relevant to the matter at hand. Remember, as President Reagan
once said: "Facts are stupid things." They only have meaning within context and it is your responsibility
as a writer to build that context.
By context, then, we mean that quotations or cited material should only ever be used within a "frame" or
"quotation sandwich" that builds a particular setting for the cited material, identifies its source and
significance, and explains what it has to do with your own argument, position, claim, or question. As
Graff and Birkenstein explain:
To adequately frame a quotation, you need to insert into what we like to call a "quotation
sandwich," with the statement introducing it serving as the top slice of bread and the
explanation following it serving as the bottom slice. The introductory or lead-in claims
should explain who is speaking and set up what the quotation says; the follow-up
statements should explain why you consider the quotation important and what you take it
to say. (42-3)
Here, Graff and Birkenstein identify four main goals that writers should reach for when using
cited materials. These goals not only build effective frames or "quotation sandwiches" for your
use of cited material; they have the added benefit for serving as a check on whether the material
you're using at a given point is appropriate or relevant for the claim or question you're
addressing: if you can't adequately introduce the quotation or explain its significance to your
own work, you're probably not using the quotation right or nor using the right quotation.
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44
Three Step Quotation Integration Visual
EVALUATION OF EFFECTIVE QUOTING Remember that effective quoting:
Adds Authority
Adds evidence
Adds a more sophisticated level of writing
Rate your partner’s use of quoted evidence on a scale of 1-5 according to the following criteria.
In-line (embedded) quotes and blocked quotes:
____ Does the author establish solid context and introduction for the quote? (i.e. does the author incorporate the
quote well enough to make sure it does not seem dropped from nowhere?
____ Does the paper smoothly transition between the two voices (the voice of the author of the paper and the voice
of the quoted author)?
____ Do you understand why he or she chose the quote? Does the writer take the time to explain the relation
between the quote and his or her own argument or does the reader have to figure out how the quote is related?
____ Do you feel satisfied with the level of analysis AFTER the quote?
____ Is there as much analysis as there is quoting? Or, is the quote followed up with a mere “like she said” remark?
The paper-writer should be doing as much analytic work as the quoted author?
____ Is each quote connected directly to either the point of the paragraph (check topic sentence) or the thesis of the
paper?
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PEER REVIEW
Pitching Peer Review to Students


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
The “usefulness” pitch: you may need to spend time convincing both the person reviewing the paper, and the
person being reviewed, that student peer review can be useful. There have been a number of studies that suggest
that if carefully organized, peer reviews can be as helpful to students as teacher feedback (there are of course
caveats – the evidence is strongest the more extensive the training in peer review, and the more writing
assignments that are heavily “structured.”) You may want to point out that student reviewers are able to spend a
lot more time reading a paper than a teacher normally is, and thus potentially to give a closer reading.
The hard sell: require students to hand in their peer reviews with their final papers, and give the peer review a
grade. Let students know that you will notice if the review is poorly done or if the reviewer has put in little
effort (you may also link this to the participation grade.) You should also emphasize that students being
reviewed should take their peer’s comments seriously, and that they may lose marks if they fail to address
relevant issues raised by their peers.
The self interest pitch: there is research evidence to suggest that conducting a peer review helps the reviewer
as well as the reviewee.
The guilt pitch: remind them that they have an obligation to their partner to give useful feedback. Lots of
perfunctory “looks good,” “great job!” comments cheat their peer of engagement with their writing and ideas.
LOGISTICS
 Require that students bring in two copies of their draft, one for you, the other for their peer to work on. This
allows the reviewer to make comments in the margins and body of the paper.
 If the student whose work is being reviewed needs to take the review away from class in order to use it, have
this student return the review with her final paper (along with the draft the peer used to write comments in the
margin.)
 If on the day you do peer review you get students who haven’t done a draft you can a) put the students into
groups of 3, so these students still do work, b) assign students who have not produced a draft to work on it in
class.
 If you find some students have put a lot of effort into a paper, whereas others have only written a page or so, try
to pair up students who put little effort together in a group, so others don’t feel ripped off.
 You can make the review process anonymous – have students write their ID number on the back (or draw a
picture on the back of the paper they can identify), rip the part with their name off, then do anonymous reviews.
A FEW TIPS
 Require students to read the paper through once without writing anything, then re-read it and give feedback.
 Encourage positive feedback, but require that this feedback explain what the writer is doing well and how it
succeeds – otherwise it risks being seen as empty praise. Carefully explaining how and why a passage of text
works may benefit both writer and reviewer.
 You may need to encourage students to provide evaluative feedback, and address reservations about this.
There’s a lot of research suggesting that students are often uncomfortable giving evaluative feedback, and will
go to great lengths to avoid it in order to maintain “smooth social relations.” Stress that these are drafts, and all
drafts can be improved. They require honest, engaged, critical feedback to improve.
 Make sure you tell reviewers not just to locate problems but to suggest how to address them.
 You may want to divide peer review into two parts. First, an “unstructured” review in which the student does a
close reading of the paper. This is a kind of reading response in which the peer writes her response in the
margin, charting the text, describing elements that she finds puzzling or hard to follow, or which seem to
diverge from the assignment. Second, you could provide a “structured” or “scaffolded” peer review sheet that
requires the reviewer to focus on select aspects of the paper and to give particular kids of feedback.
 To ensure that students take the review process seriously, you can have students submit a short “reflection”
piece along with their final paper that summarizes the feedback they received and explains how they revised
their document in response to the review.
 Some teachers ask students to do a review of their own draft and compare this with the peer review.
[CW, 2007.]
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RWS 100 Peer Review Guide Paper #1
Please read slowly and comment thoughtfully on your partner’s essay. If you see something you like or
think could be improved, tell your partner why. “Great job!” on its own is not constructive feedback.
Remember that you will be graded on the quality of your comments!
1. Read the entire paper all the way through once, without making any marks or changes. Then read the
paper a second time as you answer the following questions.
2. Does the introduction include an overview of the topic, an introduction to the author, an explanation
of both the author’s project and argument (this could also be a second paragraph), and a guide to the
structure of the paper? What do you feel the author could do to improve his or her introduction?
3. Are the main claims the author identifies actually worded as claims? Remember, a claim is an
arguable statement, not just a topic.
4. Does the paper identify the evidence the author presents to support each claim? Is there anything the
author could do to improve this?
5. Does the paper use good descriptive quotes from the text to support the interpretation of each claim?
Does your peer introduce, integrate and explain the quotes sufficiently (See They Say/I Say, 39- 46.)
Provide an example of a quote the author uses and explains well.
6. Does the author describe how each claim (and, if relevant, use of evidence) connects to/supports the
main argument? Which sections of the paper, if any, do this particularly well? Which sections need
additional work?
7. Does this paper focus mostly on what the author says (content) or more on how he says it (form)?
Does the writer use strong descriptive verbs to discuss the author’s major moves, or does s/he spend a
lot of space explaining/summarizing the author’s ideas? Do you have any suggestions for the writer’s
analysis?
8. Does the writer’s conclusion address the question of significance or effectiveness (this can be done in
2 ways: 1) in terms of why the author’s text matters at this moment/in general/to writer; 2) in terms of
the effectiveness of the argument. Does the paper answer the “So What” question? How would you
improve how the writer concludes his or her paper?
9. What do you think overall about the writer’s writing style? Do sentences and ideas flow easily from
one to the next, or are they difficult to read and to follow?
10. Are there sections of the paper that are better written than others? If so, do you think these sections
are better focused, with the ideas more completely defined? How can the writer bring the rest of the
essay up to this level? (Think about unity, focus, cohesion and development).
11. Is the paper written as if addressing a reader unfamiliar with the text (Would your college-educated
aunt in Topeka understand this paper?)
12. Circle any misspelled or misused words, grammatical problems, and punctuation errors. Mark them,
but do not correct them.
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13. Does the paper include page numbers, and is it written in times roman 12 point, double spaced, 1-inch
margins, MLA format?
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RUBRIC AND/OR PEER REVIEW FORM FOR ASSIGNMENT #1
Your grade reflects your ability to:
Accurately introduce and contextualize the author, his text, project,
and his argument in your introduction.
Clearly signal to your reader what you plan to discuss in your paper and
say how you’ll present/organize your analysis.
Accurately describe and explain the author’s key claims and their
relationship to the overall argument.
Analyze the author’s use of evidence and strategies to support his argument.
Listing evidence is not analysis – the discussion must include how the
evidence supports a specific claim. (Note – you don’t have to examine
strategies if doing “critique” section instead – see below)
Effectively use textual evidence to support your analysis. Adequately
introduce, correctly cite, and effectively comment on the sources.
Conclude your paper by presenting a thoughtful, persuasive analysis of
one of the following: a) the significance of the argument, b) how the author
has impacted your thinking/views on this topic, c) the effectiveness of the
argument (i.e. critique - a key strength or weakness)
Use an effective structure that smoothly guides the reader from one idea to
the next. Your careful attention to transitioning and topic sentences will be
considered here.
Have thoroughly edited your paper so that sentences are readable and
appropriate for an academic audience. Adhere to MLA format, grammar,
and sentence structure.
Demonstrate a strong command of the written language. Voice and style
will be considered here.
Other comments:
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Strong Satisfactory Needs Imp.
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Draft Workshop
PART I
Partner Feedback
 With a partner, pick another pair of students to trade drafts
with
 Collect both students’ drafts and give them your drafts
 Give collaboratively written feedback for each draft using the
prompt’s criteria as a guideline (write your names on the
feedback sheet)
 Return the drafts to the other student pair and collect your
drafts from them
 Briefly talk to exchange ideas/comments/suggestions
PART II
Review the comments from your peer reviewers and write a
Revision Plan for your own paper:
 One or two aspects of my paper I will change are. . .
 One or two additions I will make to my paper are . . .
 I will also . . .
Bring feedback sheet and Revision Plan to your conference appointment or class session
(whatever is scheduled next)
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More Peer Review Workshop Ideas
Interrupted Reading & the “Gossipy” Model
We came up with a name for this blended strategy: gossipy reading.
It was a transformation of interrupted reading into peer response. We asked our
institute participants to form groups of three.
One person would volunteer a paper for scrutiny, which would be read aloud by
the remaining pair. As with the interrupted reading strategy, one person would read
aloud, while the other would stop the reading to call attention to details, raise
questions, predict, make connections, etc.
Through this process, the readers would talk about the paper, how it was working,
what meaning they were making, what they found confusing, and so on. The pair
doing the reading, in other words, would "gossip" about the paper.
The paper's writer, meanwhile, listened and read along, but was not allowed to
respond in any way to the comments made by the gossiping pair. The writer was
forced to listen to the ways readers constructed meaning from the text he or she
had produced.
When the paper had been read and discussed in its entirety, then—and only then—
was the writer free to join the conversation. What happened in practice was
remarkable. The institute's participants, having already practiced interrupted
reading numerous times, felt at home tackling their peers' papers in this way.
Gone was the burden, so often foisted upon members of peer revision groups, of
suggesting ways to "fix" the paper. Instead, group members simply had to read the
piece aloud, interrupt whenever they had comments, and talk about the ways that
they made sense of the paper's ideas. When Jenn and Monica gossiped about
Louis's paper, for instance, they immediately noted that the opening of the paper
was confusing….
(from “Reading Practices as Revision Strategies: The Gossipy Reading Model,” by: Peter Kittle.
The Quarterly, Vol. 25, No. 3 Date: 2003. http://www.nwp.org/cs/public/print/resource/871)
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Mechanics: Some Rules Of Thumb
Avoid Long, Complex, Overstuffed Sentences – If Possible, Shorten & Simplify
Avoid long, complex, overstuffed sentences by breaking them down into several shorter, simpler, clearer
sentences. Complex syntax is not the same as a complex idea. It is possible to communicate sophisticated,
complex ideas using short, simply constructed sentences. Break sentences down, then experiment with
transitional words and phrases in order to build ideas across sentences and paragraphs. Exercise: Fix the
sentence below by breaking it up into several shorter, simpler sentences.
“A smoke filled room causes not only teary eyes and runny noses but also can alter people’s hearing
and vision, as well as creating dangerous levels of carbon monoxide, especially for people with heart
and lung ailments, whose health is particularly threatened by ‘second hand’ smoke.” [causal
relationships start to bleed into one another]
Where Possible, Cut Repetition & Redundancy (“Cut the Fat”)
Original: “TV reality shows, because they have an appeal to our fascination with real life conflict because
of our voyeuristic impulses, are about the most popular shows that are regularly scheduled to appear on
TV.”
Revision: “Reality” shows are the most popular shows on TV because they appeal to our
voyeuristic tendencies.
Beware Dangling Modifiers. Word Order & Cohesion Matter (Actual Sentences Found In Patients'
Hospital Charts)
1) Pain intermittent. On the second day the knee was better, and on the third day it disappeared.
2) She has no rigors or shaking chills, but her husband states she was very hot in bed last night.
3) Patient has chest pain if she lies on her left side for over a year.
4) The patient has been depressed since she began seeing me in 1993.
5) While in ER, she was examined, X-rated and sent home.
6) Patient has two teenage children, but no other abnormalities
Maintain Focus, Keep Cohesion Tight, & Make Sure Ideas are Fully Developed
The main problems affecting paragraphs are focus, cohesion and development. A poorly focused
paragraph is difficult to understand because there seems to be no relation between the individual
sentences. A paragraph may appear poorly focused because the writer tries to cover too many ideas
instead of focusing on a single important idea, or because the writer has not provided transitions to
connect the ideas together. “Cohesion” refers to sentence-by-sentence flow – the way an author keeps the
reader “on track” by repeating key terms, referring back to previous material, using metadiscourse
(directions by the author to the reader) or using the “known-new contract” (start sentences with what the
reader already knows, and introduce new information later in the sentence). “Development” refers to
whether the author provides enough explanation/background information to follow her analysis.
Sometimes, the writer leaves out important information, such as background and context for someone
else's idea, description of setting, definition of a key term, or evidence to support an assertion. The writer
omits such information because she or he believes the reader already knows it and would be "bored" by
seeing it again.
Which paragraph hangs together better?
1. Some astonishing questions about the nature of the universe have been raised by scientists studying
black holes in space. The collapse of a dead star into a point perhaps no longer than a marble creates
a black hole. So much matter compressed into so little volume changes the fabric of space around it in
puzzling ways.
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2. Some astonishing questions about the nature of the universe have been raised by scientists studying
black holes in space. A black hole is created by the collapse of a dead star into a point perhaps no
larger than a marble. So much matter compressed into so little volume changes the fabric of space
around it in puzzling ways.
The Twelve Most Frequent Errors in Grammar and Punctuation
[ From Weinstein, Larry (2001). Writing at the Threshold (56 ways to prepare high school and
college students to think and write at the college level). Urbana, IL: NCTE, p. 78. The author
suggests that students be given this handout with the relevant pages of their handbook cited in
each case. As students make errors, they correct their own sentences after consulting the
handbook.]
Error:
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
6.
7.
8.
9.
10.
11.
12.
Fragment
Comma splice
Comma missing between independent clauses (divided by and, but, or, or nor)
Misuse of the semi-colon or colon
Comma missing to set off an interrupter (e.g., between subject and verb)
Comma missing with a non-restrictive clause—or comma inserted with a restrictive clause
Apostrophe error
Quotation error
Lack of parallel structure
Lack of agreement between noun and pronoun or verb that follows
Number shift (e.g., from singular to plural)
Misplaced modifier
Runners Up:
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MLA Relay6
Objective: To get students using MLA citations—or whatever form of formatting you allow your
students to follow—correctly and save you some headaches while grading.
Directions:
 Bring in 10-15 research sources. These can be books, magazines, journals, articles printed
from the internet, newspapers, videos, or anything else a student is likely to consult when
doing research on a subject. Be sure to provide a few easy-to-cite sources
(author>title>publisher>date), but also include a few difficult-to-site sources
(author>title>anthology>editor>translator>publisher>date).
 Make sure there are enough citation guide books for every group. Simply have students
bring their handbook with them to class or bring several yourself.
 Divide students into groups of 3-4. Place research sources on a table.
 Instruct students that one member of the group is allowed to go to the table and take one
source at a time back to the group. Group members must then work together to provide:
1. A full Works Cited entry for the source.
2. A sentence incorporating a correctly formatted in-text citation from the source.
 The first group to successfully complete all the citations—or have the most correctly
completed by you calling time—is the big winner! (of course everyone gets a prize, some sort
of candy or treat is always a good motivator).
 If you save time at the end of class, go over some of the more challenging sources.
Source: Jack Newbill, MA Graduate & TA
6
http://bsuenglish101.pbworks.com/f/MLA+Relay.doc
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End of Unit – Using Responses to Gladwell to Prepare for Unit 2
If you have time, you could introduce the next unit by having students present responses to Gladwell,
focusing on how they complicate, challenge, extend, illustrate, etc.
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NEW MEDIA ACTIVISTS RESPOND TO GLADWELL. Movements.org, which is an organization
dedicated to helping people use new media for activism, summarizes responses to Gladwell’s
text. Most are critical, but in various different ways they complicate, challenge, qualify,
illustrate, etc. Gladwell, and can be used to set the stage for the next unit.
http://www.movements.org/pages/374/
“Movements.org is harnessing digital solutions to Empower activists working in closed
societies, Amplify their voices, and Inspire others to identify with their causes.”
Bill Wasik, “Gladwell vs. Shirky: A Year Later, Scoring the Debate Over Social-Media
Revolutions.” WIRED, 12.27.11.
http://www.freakonomics.com/2011/09/07/the-revolution-will-not-be-televised-but-it-will-betweeted/
NATIONAL WRITING PROJECT DISCUSSION OF WEAKNESSES IN GLADWELL’S CLAIMS
http://fairsay.com/blog/why-the-revolution-will-not-be-tweeted
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/angus-johnston/what-malcolm-gladwell-doe_b_741916.html
Responses to Gladwell, and his reply
http://gigaom.com/2011/02/03/gladwell-still-missing-the-point-about-social-media-andactivism/
Gladwell’s blog post responding to some critics
http://justiceinconflict.org/2012/06/02/has-social-media-reinvented-social-activism-a-debate/
Other Texts
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Twitter in ‘Smug’ Contest with Malcolm Gladwell [Feuds] (gawker.com)
Malcolm Gladwell’s Response to Critics of His New Yorker Piece on Social
Media (blogs.forbes.com)
Memo to Malcolm Gladwell: Nice Hair, But You Are Wrong (nytimes.com)
The Revolution May Or May Not Be Tweeted (techcrunch.com)
Twitter: Gladwell’s social media argument ‘laughable’ (guardian.co.uk)
Is Social Networking Useless for Social Change? A Response to The New Yorker’s Malcolm
Gladwell (alternet.org)
If you Have Students Who’d Like to Explore Further…
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Rita Safranek, “The Emerging Role of Social Media in Political and Regime Change
http://www.csa.com/discoveryguides/social_media/review.pdf
Philip N. Howard and Muzammil M. Hussain. 2011. “The Upheavals in Egypt and Tunisia:
TheRole of Digital Media” Journal of Democracy 22(3): 35-48.
Micah White. “A Vision of Post-Clicktivist Activism” Adbusters blog, July 26, 2011.
http://www.adbusters.org/blogs/blackspot-blog/vision-post-clicktivist-activism.html
David Faris. 2008. “Revolutions Without Revolutionaries? Network Theory, Facebook, and the
Egy ptian Blogosphere.” Arab Media and Society
Tarik Ahmed Elseewi. 2011. “A Revolution of the Imagination.” International Journal of
Communication 5: 1197 –1206
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