Red Garnet is This Girls Best Friend
Yeah, I know diamonds are supposed to be, but make sure that isn’t just a following the crowd mindset
and something you really want.
Buying a quality diamond, one that will be admired, will set you and your sweetheart back quite a bit in
the monetary department. Yes, I know, he’s buying it for you, but you will both end up paying for it over
the next several years unless you are blessed with unlimited funds.
It can be argued that spending money on a diamond proves that your sweetheart feels you are worth a
major financial investment, and that he wants to adorn you with the best that money can buy. It also
becomes compensation to a bride-to-be whose intended takes a powder before or after the wedding
date. Cash that baby in and you have several thousand dollars to cushion the blow of humiliation. Back
in the day, the engagement period was a common time during which a woman lost her virginity. A
sizeable engagement gift was given as an assurance that the man was making a significant promise to
his bride that he wasn’t going to love her and leave her.
But this speaks to a bygone era, and times and mores have changed. For most couples, choosing a
diamond engagement ring is an automatic reflex for launching their engagement and not a choice of the
heart. It’s just our cultural norm. Eighty percent of all American couples opt for the diamond
engagement ring. Are Americans making deliberate decisions to do this, or are we just doing what we
have been told to do?
Betrothal gifts, sometimes in the form of a ring, can be traced to Roman times and caught on with the
Western world sometime during the 1200’s. An archduke in Vienna presented a diamond ring to his
intended in the late 1400’s in the first known use of diamond as engagement ring.
Prior to the 1900’s other gifts were common. Sometime around the late 1800’s a ring, usually with a
birthstone, became the gift of choice, but it wasn’t until the 1930’s that diamonds became the common
trend. The trend of diamond as engagement ring began when DeBeers’ advertising agent encouraged the
big name glamorous Hollywood stars of the 1930’s to wear diamond rings to promote their diamonds.
DeBeer’s clever copyriter came up with the brilliant slogan, “A Diamond is Forever” and the rest is history.
We bought into it hook, line, and sinker.
The whole concept of ring gifting can be argued to be an outdated and sexist act which defines the value
of a woman’s virginity and makes claim to her virtue. But we can cut the tradition some slack and redefine
it now as a lovely and sentimental gesture with a nod to the past that officially identifies the period of
betrothal leading up to marriage. It is a fun time for a couple.
When my sweetheart and I decided that marriage was our mutual desire, I had a moment of
enlightenment and ran it past him. I suggested we opt for a birthstone engagement ring instead of a
diamond. It’s not that I don’t love the bling of diamonds, because I am a sucker for bright and shiny
objects. But the industry standard dictates it would set us back three months of his salary. I am no longer
the giggling girl I once was, and a diamond ring does not define the value of our commitment or promise
me that my sweetheart will love me forever. Besides which, my virginity is no longer up for grabs. I also
already own my own home and don’t see it as collateral for security in the event he goes out for his
proverbial pack of cigarettes.
As it turns out, his birthstone just happens to be the same as both of my parents and I’ve always loved
garnet stones. I have more garnet jewelry than I have of my own birthstone because for me, it is a
sentimental favorite. We created a custom ring, using a quality, large, genuine heart shaped garnet with
small diamond points on the band. It wasn’t free, but it cost us a fraction of the cost of a diamond ring and
allows us an Hawaiian honeymoon. My fiance will wear a wedding band adorned with my birthstone and
my wedding band will be more garnets. Our decision is a perfect symbolic and sentimental representation
of our commitment. I will admit that for about 15 seconds I thought of a cubic zirconia option, but I prefer
the genuine article over a substitute any day. And anyway, cubic zirconia smacks of false representation,
being fake, and buying into the con that diamonds are the ideal.
I haven’t even gone into the discussion of the perils diamond mining and putting the lives of others at risk
in order to garnish my own finger with bling and that is the most compelling argument for opting out of the
diamond frenzy.
At any rate, I am very happy when I see my beautiful ring and it makes me so happy to remember what it
means. I am marrying my best friend. 