Influence and Negotiation Skills
Presenter: Robert Orndorff
rmo104@sa.psu.edu
September 24, 2015
Getting to Know the Real Bob!
• Most important factor of self-improvement
= Heightening Self-Awareness
• Big Picture Bob … doesn’t always dot the “i"
& cross the “T” … The G-town Story
• Extravert Bob
– First Interview at Paul Smith’s College
– First time in the delivery room
How to Make Your Voice Heard…
Negotiation, influence, and persuasion –
An Overview
Selling Your Ideas
“You can have brilliant ideas, but if you can’t get them
across, your ideas won’t get you anywhere.”
Lee Iacocca
Former Chrysler Chairman and CEO
A Taste of Persuasion
• Let’s watch somebody who is naturally persuasive
• http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lA2W_oa3lSE
• What made Chris Rock “Persuasive” in his view
that a job is very different than a career?
• It’s not just what you say, but how you say it!
• Important how you “frame” your argument, and
the emotions you express (EI)
Simple Phrases
Persuasion:
• Process that enables you to change or reinforce others’ attitudes,
opinions, or behaviors
• Involves not only making a rational case but also of presenting
information in a way that appeals to human emotions
• Positioning an idea, solution, or approach in a way that appeals
to those who are affected by it (adjust arguments per person)
Negotiation:
• Process by which people deal with differences – seek mutual
agreement through dialogue
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Targeted form of communication….
Agenda
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The ART of WOO
Activity #1
Personal Persuasion Styles
PITA Types
Activity #2
Wrapping it up: Resources and tools
Sources
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“The Art of WOO: Using Strategic Persuasion to Sell
Your Ideas,” Shell & Moussa
“Pocket Mentor: Negotiating,” Harvard Business School
Press
“Pocket Mentor: Persuading People,” Harvard Business
School Press
“Emotional Intelligence 2.0,” Bradberry & Greaves
“Influence Strategies,” training designed by Dr. John Park
(Penn State Management Development)
“The PITA Principle: How to Work With and Avoid
Being a…,” Orndorff & Clark
Strengthening WOO with Emotional
Intelligence
Survey the Situation
Confront Barriers
Emotional
Intelligence
Determine Pitch
Secure
Committments
Self-Awareness: The Key to Effective
Persuasion Techniques
• Self-Awareness: “The ability to accurately perceive your own
emotions in the moment and understand your tendencies across
situations”
• Managers who were more self-aware rated as “more effective” in
3 cultures
• Measure: Subordinate ratings were aligned with manager rankings
• Key to Making Positive Changes = Taking a hard, honest, realistic
look at yourself and your tendencies
• It’s harder to point inward = EXAMPLE: Poll the Audience
A Lack of Self-Awareness
Deciding Who to WOO
• Connecting your ideas to people
• Understand what you are trying to achieve
• Determine who will need to be persuaded
and who are the most challenging to persuade
• Understand what’s most important to them
Basic Process for Persuasively
‘Selling Your Ideas’
1.
2.
3.
4.
Survey your situation
Confront the 5 barriers
Make your pitch
Secure your commitments
Survey Your
Situation
Confront
the 5
Barriers
Make Your
Pitch
Secure
Commitments
The Art of WOO: Using Strategic Persuasion to Sell Your Ideas’, Shell & Moussa, 2007, p. 26
Survey Your Situation
• Forge and polish your idea
• Map the decision process you face by understanding
the social networks within the organization
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Who will be affected
• Assess your persuasion style (natural tendencies)
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And how it might jive with the people affected
• Confirm your own level of passion for the idea
Survey Your
Situation
Confront the
5 Barriers
Make Your
Pitch
Secure
Commitments
Confront the 5 Barriers
1.
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5.
Negative relationships
Poor credibility
Communication mismatches
Contrary belief systems
Conflicting interests
Additional Barriers:
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Difficult Coworkers (PITAs) and Leadership/Management “Derailers” (EI)
Survey Your
Situation
Confront
the 5
Barriers
Make Your
Pitch
Secure
Commitments
Make Your Pitch
• Present solid evidence and arguments
• Offer them a reason to say yes; back it up with data
• PCAN model:
• Problem (They want to give Allie a B)
• Cause (They think objectively, value consistency,
RIGID)
• Answer (Eliminate lowest grade for EVERYONE)
Survey Your
Situation
Confront the
5 Barriers
Make Your
Pitch
Secure
Commitments
Securing Commitments
• Evidence might be:
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Someone takes action … in line with your stance
Verbally agrees to take/adopt your position
• Reinforce and track
• Thank colleagues for their openness and reiterate the shared
benefits
• Get colleagues’ commitments/changed views in writing /email.
Survey Your
Situation
Confront the
5 Barriers
Make Your
Pitch
Secure
Commitments
Class Debate
Two-Parts: Individual Debate & Group Debate
Be creative in coming up with your arguments
Class Debate
The Scenario
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Professor: 90 or above = A (stated in Syllabus)
Allie flunked first quiz badly
Personal issues going on
Aced remaining tests, quizzes, exams, projects (97, 98, 96, etc.)
Displayed keen understanding of key concepts via class
discussions – better than all others
• Final grade points for Allie = 89
Excellence in LEADERSHIP & MANAGEME NT
Class Debate
Forming Teams & Establishing Arguments
• Privately & Individually:
– Write down your grade (A or B)
– Write 3 arguments why
• Like Teams (A-teams; B-teams)
– A’s on one side of room; B’s on other
– Find a “Like Partner”
– Pairs find an opposite Pair
– Form a group of 4 (2 A’s, 2 B’s)
Class Debate
Individual Debate Instructions
1. Each person will have an opportunity to debate a person on the opposing view; the two not
debating will observe their own teammate and later fill out Assessment B for the debater
they are observing
2. Debater A1 & B1 will debate their stance on the issue (7 minutes)
3. Observers A2 & B2 will observe A1 and B1 respectively during that time
4. Observes A2 & B2 will switch to be the two debaters and Debater A1 & B1 will switch to be
observers; repeat exercise (7 minutes)
5. Each person will fill out (1) Assessment A (Debater) and calculate results on yourself and (2)
Assessment B (Observer) and calculate results for the debater you observed. (15 minutes)
HANDOUTS:
(1) Personal Persuasion Style Assessment A;
(2) Observer Persuasion Style Assessment B
Self-Awareness:
The Five Channels of Persuasion
More Self-Oriented
Higher
Volume
More Other-Oriented
Driver
Promoter
Advocate
Lower
Volume
Commander
Chess Player
Class Debate
Group Debate Instructions
Like Teams Playoff Debate
• A’s on one side of room; B’s on
other
• Each member present your 3
arguments
• Members can choose other
arguments
• Each team debates and decides on
the best 3 arguments to use when
debating the opposite team
• Each team chooses a captain or
spokesperson who you think will
best represent your team when
presenting your best 3 arguments
Super Debate A vs. B
• A Captain present top 3
arguments
• B Captain present top 3
arguments
• Open Debate
• Captains present best opposing
argument and why
Class Debate
Group Debate Debrief
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Team members: What was this activity like for you?
Captains: What was this activity like for YOU?
Who was persuaded or influenced into going with a different
argument than your own? What did they do to persuade you?
What were the effective strategies for persuading
• …members of your like team?
• …members of the opposing team? (A vs. B)
Did you have a different plan for different people?
When arguing your case, did you persuade, negotiate, or
influence?
Any final thoughts or observations you want to share?
BREAK
TAKE 10
Persuading PITA’s
• You have learned some tools and strategies
related to persuading others IN GENERAL
• Now we want to focus on persuading those
who are most difficult to persuade – the PITA’s
in the Workforce
• It’s easy to persuade positive, collaborative
people
PITA TYPES & EI
• Use Self-Awareness & Social Awareness to:
• Survey the Situation
• Confront the 5 Barriers
• Social Awareness: “Your ability to accurately pick up on
emotions in other people and understand what is really going
on with THEM”
• What is your PITA Type? What is the PITA type of the person
you are persuading? Important for you to know this!
• The Bad PITA (Pain In The A**)
• The Good PITA (Professionals Increasing Their Awareness)
The 7 PITA TYPES
The 7 Types of PITAs
Sealed PITA
Over-stuffed PITA
Sloppy PITA
Crusty PITA
Soggy PITA
Make-Your-Own PITA (RIGID)
Royal PITA
The Sealed PITA
• Closed off and defensive
• Not open to criticism; Deflects negative feedback
• Doesn’t own deficit areas; insecure
• Has difficulty accepting weaknesses in staff reviews
• Blames others during conflicts
• Famous Sealed PITAs
• Dr. Lilith Sternin-Crane (Cheers)
• Angela Martin (The Office)
• Marie Barone (Everybody Loves Raymond)
• The Sealed PITA Theme Song: Know any?
The Overstuffed PITA
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Self-absorbed; full of himself
Attention hungry; Likes limelight
Aggressively Self-promoting
Boastful and conceited
Famous Overstuffed PITAs
• Alex P. Keaton (Family Ties)
• Dr. Frasier Crane (Cheers/Frasier)
• Donald Trump (The Apprentice)
• The Overstuffed PITA Theme Song:
The Overstuffed PITA in Action
The Sloppy PITA
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Disorganized
Doesn’t attend to Detail; Not precise
Thoughts & ideas are all over the place
Unclear and not concise in explaining things
Doesn’t follow through
Famous Sloppy PITAs
Oscar Madison (The Odd Couple)
Randolph Dupree (You, Me, and Dupree)
Del Griffith (Planes, Trains and Automobiles)
The Sloppy PITA Theme Song: Know any?
The Sloppy PITA In Action
The Crusty PITA
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Negative and Cynical; mean-spirited
Growls at the world; Grouchy
Cuts down ideas/bad-mouths people
Sees glass half-empty; Pessimistic
Famous Crusty PITAs
• Archie Bunker (All in the Family)
• Al Bundy (Married with Children)
• Roseanne Conner (Roseanne)
• The Crusty PITA Theme Song: Know any?
The Crusty PITA in Action
The Soggy PITA
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Whiny, constantly complaining
Needy, High Maintenance
• Needs to process unpleasant occurrences
Afraid of confronting issues head-on
Needs a lot of reassurance
Famous Soggy PITAs
• George Costanza (Seinfeld)
• Ally McBeal (Ally McBeal)
• Ross Geller (Friends)
The Soggy PITA Theme Song: Know any?
The Soggy PITA In action
Soggy George
Avoiding the Soggy
Marriage Thing
Soggy PITAs on the rise?
More careful on how we “argue”?
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A Nation of Wimps
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We really did have it
tougher … and better!
The Rigid PITA
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Picky and particular; perfectionist
Stubborn – digs in deep and holds ground
Inflexible and rigid; tight
Not willing to compromise
Famous Rigid PITAs
• Sally Albright (When Harry Met Sally)
• Felix Ungar (The Odd Couple)
• Monica Gellar (Friends)
• The Rigid PITA Theme Song: Know any?
The Rigid PITA In action
The Royal PITA
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Spoiled; got everything handed to him
Entitled; deserves everything now
Self-centered; ego-centric
Oblivious to how others see him
Famous Royal PITAs
• Charlie Harper (Two and a Half Men)
• Sharpay Evans (High School Musical)
• Ferris Bueller (Ferris Bueller’s Day Off)
• The Royal PITA Theme Song: Know any?
The Royal PITA In action
The Combo PITA
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A combination of two or more PITA types
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Example: Crusty-Rigid
The Combo PITA in action--Pick out the PITA Types
Important PITA Concepts
•DEGREES of PITA-ness
•SITUATIONAL
•Crusty when certain button is pushed & on Mondays
•Overstuffed in social groups; not conceited
•CHEMISTRY between types: Same & Opposites:
•Bad Same: Crusty-Crusty; Rigid-Rigid
•Good Same: Soggy-Soggy; Sloppy-Sloppy
•Bad Opposites: Crusty-Soggy; Rigid-Sloppy
•INDUSTRY FIT
•Counseling: Soggy much better fit than Crusty
•Accounting: Rigid much better fit than Sloppy
Activity #2
Summary Strategies:
Ways to Connect with & Persuade each Type of PITAs?
Sealed PITA :
Be collaborative; Positives first; Comment on specific behaviors
Over-stuffed PITA : Watch “knee-jerk” reaction; Confront individually; Use concrete examples
Sloppy PITA :
Don’t assume intentional sloppiness; Must follow up; Appreciate creativity
Crusty PITA :
Rise above; Don’t enable; Don’t write off; Confront individually
Soggy PITA:
Have compassion; Set boundaries; Exit Strategies; Confront sensitivity
Rigid PITA:
Don’t get defensive; Use honey; Compromise while standing ground
Royal PITA:
Means no harm (unaware); Tactful wake-up call; Channel royal assets
Pitfalls to Avoid
• Emotional attachment to an idea/Inflexibility
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Makes it really tough to entertain other healthy alternatives
• Failure to understand non-verbal clues
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Know your Attending Style: Focused, Conceptual, Aware
• A lack of content knowledge – yours OR theirs
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Especially when dealing with Rigid or Overstuffed PITAs
= must provide concrete facts/knowledge
• Focusing on small things; losing focus on the big picture
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Pick your battles! Lose a battle to win the war!
• “Navel gazing” (self-absorbed, Overstuffed, Royal)
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Be Team-Oriented: Shoot for “win-win” scenarios
Success Factors…
• Clearly plan your message
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Measure twice, cut once! Put time on the front end!
• Understand the audience and the environment
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What’s really going on with them; Identify the PITA type(s)!
• Listen actively
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Make this a common practice; it’s a give-&-take – must show
that you’re making good faith effort to understand their views
• Consistent messages and actions
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No flip-flopping; Be self-aware of this tendency
• Be flexible:
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Able to regroup and consider other opinions/scenarios
Willing to change direction and strategies
Summary Remarks
Don’t write any of your coworkers or customers off;
They’re human beings and worth the effort
There are good things that come from every type of
PITA … even the Crusty (refreshing)
Appreciate and Respect Differences … we’re all so
different …
Appreciate Differences
And you thought that made guys look bad …
It’s a Penguin-Eat-Penguin World…
A Gift for You
A Full Chapter per PITA Type
Detailed Strategies for Coping with
each of the 7 PITA Types
Strategies for keeping your PITA
tendencies in check
Two PITA TESTS!
Excellence in LEADERSHIP & MANAGEME NT
A Final Thought
•Leadership gives you a golden opportunity to have REAL
IMPACT on the lives of others
•Actions speak louder than words
•Be a Leader by Example
•Your employees and colleagues will soak in much more
than you know, when you thought they weren’t looking
•QUOTE: When you thought I wasn’t Looking
Questions and Thank You