Finding Wholeness
in the Aging
Process:
A Jewish Perspective
Abraham Joshua Heschel
What we owe the old is reverence, but all
they ask for is consideration attention, not be
be discarded and forgotten. What they
deserve is preference, yet we do not even
grant them equality. One father finds it
possible to sustain a dozen children, yet a
dozen children find it impossible to sustain
one father. – Insecurity of Freedom p. 70
Shalom
Other than ‘hello, goodbye and peace’
the word ‘shalom’ comes from the
Hebrew root Shin, Lamed, Mem and
indicates the idea of completeness. In
Hebrew L’Shaleim means to ‘complete
a transaction’ i.e. to buy something.
Sh-leimut is the Hebrew word for
wholeness.
Finding Sh-leimut
It is Jewish tradition to align ourselves with mitzvot
(commandments) and to find ourselves. As
Abraham Joshua Heschel once said, “It is not
enough for me to ask questions; I want to know how
to answer the one question that seems to
encompass everything I face:
What am I here for?
Sh-leimut is found in how each of us answer this …
regardless of our age.
The Search for Meaning is Tied to Torah
Torah, i.e. Jewish sacred texts hold God’s or
tradition’s understandings regarding how a
Jew defines that question, ‘What am I here
for?’
Codes of Jewish practice - Mishnah Avot 5:25
He [Yehuda ben Taima] used to say: At five
[one should begin the study of] Scriptures;
at ten, Mishna;
at thirteen [one becomes obligated in] the
commandments;
at fifteen [the study of] Talmud;
at eighteen the wedding canopy;
at twenty to pursue;
Codes of Jewish practice - Mishnah Avot 5:25
at thirty strength;
at forty understanding;
at fifty counsel;
at sixty old age;
at seventy fullness of years;
at eighty spiritual strength;
at ninety bending over;
at one hundred it is as if he has died and passed
on from the world.
According to Mishnah Avot…
What does this text teach us?
Does it challenge us?
Why do you think the rabbis wrote this text?
Jewish View of Aging in a Society
A test of a people is how it behaves toward
the old. It is easy to love children. Even
tyrants and dictators make a point of being
fond of children. But the affection and care
for the old, the incurable, the helpless are the
true gold mines of a culture. – Insecurity, p.72
Talmud – Avodah Zarah 23
R. Eliezer [himself] was asked: To what
extent is honoring one's father and mother
to be practiced? He answered: Go forth and
see how a certain idolater of Ashkelon,
Dama the son of Nathina by name, acted
towards his father.
Dama the son of Nathina
He was once approached about selling precious
stones for the ephod at a profit of six hundred
thousand denarii [250 denarii was an average
wage]; but the keys were lying under his
father's head-pillow, so he would not disturb
him! In a subsequent year a 'red heifer'* was
born in his herd, and some of the Sages of
Israel called on Dama.
Dama the son of Nathina
Said Dama to them: From what I know of
you [I am aware] that if I were to demand
of you all the money in the world, you
would give it to me, but all I ask of you now
is that money that I had lost because of my
father! — In that case it was purchased
through [the agency of] Israelite
merchants.
Nu…..? (so…..?)
Jews see wholeness in aging as more than
just a Jewish value, it is one of the vital
components of a society. The three groups
God cares about most are the stranger,
widow and orphan. The compelling reason
for the treatment of others lies in not acting
like the Egyptians during the time of
Pharaoh.
Deut. 10:17-19
For Adonai your God is the God of gods,
great, might and awesome who regards not
persons (of note) nor takes reward. God
executes justice for the orphan and widow
and loves the stranger in giving them food
and clothes. Therefore love the stranger, for
you were strangers in the land of Egypt.
Take away…
When we make strangers of others, we are in
violation of the wholeness God would have us
live. When we embrace the wholeness God
would have us live. To answer the question,
“What am I here for?” is to find our wholeness
at stages in life. If Dama son of Nathina can
know this, all the more so those who claim to
live God’s word in this world.
One Final quote
Old men need a vision, not a recreation
Old men need a dream, not only a memory.
It takes three things to attain a sense of significant
being:
God
A Soul
And a Moment.
And the three are always here.
Just to be is a blessing. Just to live is holy.
Insecurity p.84