MARRIAGE AND PERSONALITY INTERACTIVE FACTORS • • • • • • • • THEOLOGICAL POLITICAL LEGAL HISTORICAL SOCIAL/CULTURAL PSYCHOLOGICAL ECONOMIC GENERATIONAL 1 MARRIAGE AND PERSONALITY ANOTHER FIREHOUSE EXERCISE 2 PSYCHOLOGY psyche = “self” logein= “to talk about” 3 PSYCHOLOGY WHAT? WHO? 4 5 WHAT? WHO? • A WHAT IS A NOUN • HOW MANY WHATS ARE THERE? • ACADEMICS STUDY OUR WHATS – – – – – – Economic Social Political Physical Psychological Etc., etc., etc., etc…… • FOR WHO, WE USE PRO-NOUNS… WORDS THAT SUBSTITUTE FOR A NOUN NO ONE ELSE SHARES WHAT I MEAN WHEN I SAY “I” OR “YOU” I MAY SHARE ANY NUMBER OF WHATs WITH OTHERS, BUT NO ONE ELSE IS “I” 6 HUMANS ARE COMPLEX BEINGS • WE DO NOT HAVE DIRECT ACCESS TO ONE ANOTHER’S WHO • MY WHO IS MEDIATED THROUGH MY WHATs EVEN TO MY-SELF 7 HUMANS ARE COMPLEX BEINGS • WE ARE BODIED-PERSONS, SITUATED IN SPACE AND TIME • COMING TO KNOW MY-SELF OR YOURSELF TAKES TIME AND WORK 8 HUMANS REMAIN MYSTERIOUS • I OR YOU CANNOT BE FULLY EXPLAINED • LUKE TIMOTHY JOHNSON STORY • HUMAN ARE NOT ONLY PUZZLES TO BE SOLVED (WHATs) • THEY ARE MYSTERIES TO BE ENCOUNTERED (WHOs) • PERSONALITY THEORY CAN HELP DESCRIBE THE WAYS MY-SELF AND YOUR-SELF GETS MEDIATED 9 HUMANS REMAIN MYSTERIOUS PERSON-ALITY (WHAT-I -AM) IS NOT PERSON-HOOD (WHO-I- AM) 10 HUMANS REMAIN MYSTERIOUS MY-SELF/WHO-I-AM IS MEDIATED THROUGH MY PERSONALITY 11 MARRIAGE AND PERSON-ALITY MARRIAGE CAN BE THOUGHT OF • AS A COMMITMENT TO A LIFE-LONG RELATIONSHIP THAT IS DEEP IMMERSION INTO THE WHO OF ANOTHER • WHEREIN I DISCOVER MY OWN WHO AS WELL 12 MARRIAGE AND PERSON-ALITY A ‘SACRAMENTAL’ MARRIAGE CAN BE THOUGHT OF AS• A COMMITMENT TO A LIFE-LONG RELATIONSHIP THAT IS DEEP IMMERSION INTO THE WHO OF ANOTHER • THE EXPERIENCE OF WHICH REVEALS/MEDIATES-• SOMETHING OF WHO GOD IS 13 MARRIAGE AND PERSONALITY GOD IS LOVE – • agape- “Creative self-gift” • A koinonia, communio -A wholly shared life between and persons 14 MARRIAGE AND PERSON-ALITY • MY PERSON-ALITY IS MY STYLE OF BEING IN THE WORLD IN A PLACE AND A TIME • WHICH PROVIDES ME WITH A BASIS FOR NOT ONLY BEING IN A WORLD • BUT ALSO BEING ABLE TO ENCOUNTER OTHER PERSONS 15 MARRIAGE AND PERSON-ALITY EVEN IF I THINK OF MARRIAGE IN PURELY IN CONTRACTUAL TERMS, IT REMAINS A PLEDGE TO BEING-WITH ANOTHER IN THE WORLD 16 MARRIAGE: A DESTINATION OR A JOURNEY? 17 MARRIAGE: A MATCHING OF WHATS OR AN ENCOUNTER OF WHOS ? 18 JUNGIAN THEORY • APPROACHES HUMANS THROUGH WHAT JUNG CALLED “PSYCHOLOGICAL FUNCTIONS” • THERE ARE FOUR PSYCHOLOGICAL FUNCTIONS 1. SENSATION 2. INTUITION 3. THINKING 4. FEELING 19 JUNGIAN THEORY • ALL HUMANS “HAVE” OR “DO” THE FUNCTIONS ALWAYS. • PERSON-ALITY DERIVES FROM THE FACT THAT WE PREFER TO OPERATE IN ONE OR ANOTHER FUNCTION OVER THE OTHERS 20 JUNGIAN THEORY • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • ISTJ Analytical MANAGER OF FACTS AND DETAILS; dependable, decisive, painstaking and systematic; concerned with systems and organization; stable and conservative. ISFJ Sympathetic MANAGER OF FACTS AND DETAILS; concerned with peoples’ welfare; dependable, painstaking and systematic; stable and conservative INFJ People-oriented INNOVATOR of ideas; serious, quietly forceful and persevering; concerned with the common good, with helping others develop. INTJ Logical, critical, decisive INNOVATOR of ideas; serious, intent, highly independent, concerned with organization, determined and often stubborn. ISTP Practical ANALYZER; values exactness; more interested in organizing data than situations or people reflective, a cool and curious observer of life. ISFP Observant, loyal HELPER: reflective, realistic, empathic; patient with details, gentle and retiring; shuns disagreements; enjoys the moments. INFP Imaginative, independent HELPER: reflective, inquisitive, empathic, loyal to ideals more interested in possibilities than practicalities. INTP Inquisitive ANALYZER reflective, independent, curious, more interested in organizing ideas than situations or people ESTP REALISTIC ADAPTER in the world of material things; good natured, tolerant, easy going; oriented to practical, first hand experience; highly observant of details of things. ESFP REALISTIC ADAPTER in human relationships; friendly and easy with people, highly observant of their feelings and needs; oriented to practical, first hand experience ENFP Warmly enthusiastic PLANNER OF CHANGE; imaginative, individualistic; pursues inspiration with impulsive energy; seeks to understand and inspire others. ENTP Inventive, analytical PLANNER OF CHANGE; enthusiastic and independent; pursues inspiration with impulsive energy; seeks to understand and inspire others. . TYPE TABLE MYERS-BRIGGS TYPE INDICATOR ©Copyright Isabel Briggs Myers 1962 21 JUNGIAN THEORY • HENCE, WE GET BETTER AND BETTER AT SOME FUNCTIONS • AND RELATIVELY NEGLECT OTHERS 22 Judging Thinking PERCEPTION Axis Intuition Axis Sensation Feeling 23 JUNGIAN THEORY THE RESULT IS SIXTEEN TYPES ESTP ESFP ISTP ISFP ESTJ ESFJ ISTJ ISFJ ENTJ ENTP INTJ INTP ENFJ ENFP INFJ INFP 24 JUNGIAN THEORY PERSONALITY TEMPERAMENTS THE SIXTEEN TYPES CAN BE GROUPED INTO FOUR TEMPERAMENTS: SP SJ NT NF 25 SENSING PERCEIVER SP ARTISAN ISTP CRAFTER ISFP COMPOSER ESTP PROMOTER ESFP PROVIDER ACTION SEEKERS 26 SENSING JUDGERS SJ GUARDIAN ISTJ INSPECTOR ISFJ PROTECTOR ESTJSUPERVISOR ESFJ PROVIDER DUTY SEEKERS 27 INTUITIVE THINKERS NT RATIONALS ENTJ FIELDMARSHAL ENTP INVENTOR INTJ MASTERMIND INTP ARCHITECT KNOWLEDGE SEEKERS 28 INTUITIVE FEELERS NF IDEALIST ENFJ TEACHER ENFP CHAMPION INFJ COUNSELOR INFP HEALER IDEAL SEEKERS 29 JUNGIAN THEORY • • • • SENSATION AND INTUITION ARE PERCEIVING FUNCTIONS INPUT BECOMING AWARE OF INFORMATION GATHERING PAYING ATTENTION TO 30 JUNGIAN THEORY • THE PSYCHOLOGICAL GOAL IS TO ACHIEVE INDIVIDUATION (WHOLENESS) BUT ACTIVATING (BECOMING ABLE TO USE CONSCIOUSLY), THE FUNCTION(S) THAT ARE APPROPRIATE FOR THE SITUATION 31 JUNGIAN THEORY • THIS TAKES PLACE OVER THE COURSE OF A LIFETIME • EACH TYPE HAS ITS OWN DISTINCTIVE DEVELOPMENT PATTERN 32 Developmental Stages 0-6: Random Practice -ATTITUDE (E-I) EMERGES 1 Childhood 6-12 : Establishing DOMINANT -WITH ATTITUDE 2 Adolescence 12-20: Developing AUXILIARY -with opposite ATTITUDE - in opposite MODE 3 Young Adult 20-35: Developing TERTIARY - ATTITUDE CHANGE - in same MODE as 2 4 Adulthood 35-50: Coming to terms with INFERIOR function - attitude change - Mode change (from 3) - Moving toward Wholeness - Learning Wisdom (APPROPRIATENESS)33 JUNGIAN THEORY THINKING AND FEELING ARE JUDGING FUNCTIONS • • • • OUTPUT DECIDING REACHING CLOSURE RESOLVING TO ACT 34 JUNGIAN THEORY • FUNCTIONS ARE ACCOMPANIED BY PSCYHOLOGICAL ATTITUDES • THERE ARE FOUR • PSYCHOLOGICAL ATTITUDES 1. EXTRA-VERSION 2. INTRO-VERSION 3. PERCEIVING 4. JUDGING 35 JUNGIAN THEORY ENERGY FLOW • DOING WHAT COMES NATURALLY COMES EASILY • GOING AGAINST NATURAL INCLINATION TAKES WORK • WE PREFER THE LINE OF LEAST RESISTANCE 36 Attitude: Energy Flow SUBJECT EGO Extravert Introvert IDEAS OBJECT PEOPLE THINGS OBJECT SUBJECT PEOPLE EGO IDEAS THINGS 37 Attitude: Energy Flow P PERCEIVERS LIKE TO POSTPONE DECISIONS J JUDGERS LIKE TO GET THINGS SETTLED 38 E (75% of population) versus I (25% of population) • • • • • Sociability…………………………….Territoriality Interaction…………………………..Concentration External………………………………..Internal Breadth………………………………..Depth Extensive……………………………..Intensive • Many relationships Limited relationships • Expenditure energies • Interest in external events Conservation of of energies Interest in internal reaction 39 S (75% of population) versus N (25% of population) Experience………………………................Hunches Past………………………………….................Future Realistic……………………………………………..Speculative Perspiration………………………………………..Inspiration Actual………………………………………………….Possible Down-to-earth………………..................Head-inclouds Utility…………………………………………………..Fantasy Fact……………………………………………………..Fiction Practicality………………………………………….Ingenuity Sensible……………………………………………..Imaginative 40 T (50% of population) versus F (50% of population) • • • • • • • Impersonal…………………….Personal Justice……………………………Humane Categories……………………. Harmony Standards…………………Good or bad Critique…………………………. Appreciate Analysis…………………………..Sympathy Allocation………………………..Devotion 41 Developmental Stages 0-6: Random Practice -ATTITUDE (E-I) EMERGES 1 Childhood 6-12 : Establishing DOMINANT -WITH ATTITUDE 2 Adolescence 12-20: Developing AUXILIARY -with opposite ATTITUDE - in opposite MODE 3 Young Adult 20-35: Developing TERTIARY - with ATTITUDE change - in same MODE as 2 4 Adulthood 35-50: Coming to terms with INFERIOR function - attitude change - Mode change (from 3) - Moving toward Wholeness - Learning Wisdom (APPROPRIATENESS)42 Developmental Stages 0-6: Random Practice -ATTITUDE (E-I) EMERGES 1 Childhood 6-12 : Establishing DOMINANT -WITH ATTITUDE 2 Adolescence 12-20: Developing AUXILIARY -with opposite ATTITUDE - in opposite MODE 3 Young Adult 20-35: Developing TERTIARY - with ATTITUDE change - in same MODE as 2 4 Adulthood 35-50: Coming to terms with INFERIOR function - attitude change - Mode change (from 3) - Moving toward Wholeness - Learning Wisdom (APPROPRIATENESS)43 44 116 Let me not to the marriage of true minds Admit impediments, love is not love Which alters when it alteration finds, Or bends with the remover to remove. O no, it is an ever-fixed mark That looks on tempests and is never shaken; It is the star to every wand'ring bark, Whose worth's unknown, although his height be taken. Love's not Time's fool, though rosy lips and cheeks Within his bending sickle's compass come, Love alters not with his brief hours and weeks, But bears it out even to the edge of doom: If this be error and upon me proved, I never writ, nor no man ever loved. --William Shakespeare