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Mardee Marlin
Professor Christie Bogle
English 1010
24 June 2015
How One Decision Changed My Whole Life
Imagine being 11 years old full of life, energy and hope until you received news, which would
change the way you lived life...forever. “In a moment everything can change” is the perfect song to
describe what happened to me. If someone made “One Decision, That Changed Your Whole Life”, would
you blame them for your struggles?
January, 2001 my grandma passed away. My grandpa got remarried in the fall of 2003 and moved
to Washington. My mom decided to keep her childhood home in the family, so she bought the home. My
family and I moved from American Fork to Orem. We lived in American Fork for 11 years of my life. I
had a very stable life. I was popular, I was the top student of my 6th grade class, and I was in choir,
dance, and “Annie” the musical. My hobbies included playing soccer, riding my bike, rollerblading, and
running, doing pageants, performing, and playing with my older sister, Mindy and all my friends. I never
realized how hard it would be to uproot my life in the middle of a semester. I was so angry at my mother
for making me lose all of my friends and make me quit all the things I tried out for.
My first day of school at Foothill Elementary was very nerve wracking since I was starting in the
middle of the school year. I had never been more upset at my mom, then I was that morning. I was so
stressed about trying to catch up in class, and what if I wouldn’t find any new friends? The boys took a
special liking to me right away and the girls were very intimidated by me, “the new girl.” I adapted to my
new school and home right away, but never got to see my old friends since it was too far away.
A few months after school started, I was getting sick every week or two. I would have to miss
school and soon got behind in my school work. This continued for one whole year. I have always tried to
stay positive, and my mom taught me to never let anyone see my discomfort. Doctors continued to give
me medicine for all the various flu’s and colds. My mom did everything she could think of to see what
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was causing me to get sick. She took me to a homeopathic doctor, a gastrointestinal doctor, an allergist,
she had a mold dog company check our house for mold. I was so frustrated and people close to me
thought I was faking it, just because I didn’t want to go to school.
After a full year of getting dozens of tests done, I finally got the result that I had Mono. By this
time, I was in Junior High at Canyon View. I had missed nearly half of the school year and was failing a
couple classes. I was soon known for the girl who “was always sick” or the girl who had “Cooties.” I used
to be so full of energy, and now I couldn’t get out of bed. I used to be a girl who would only cry if I got
hurt, but now I was quickly slipping into a depression. I ended up getting a district teacher, Mrs.
Anderson who would come to my house or the hospital 3 times a week to teach me everything I should be
learning in school. My only glimpse of the outside world was with my teacher. My new so called friends,
didn’t want to visit, because they thought they would get sick. I had no social life, I was taking care of
myself because my mom was always working, and I never really left the house. My mother loved the
attention my illnesses gave her from her friends and family.
Some of you may know mono as the “kissing disease.” I had wished that is where I got it from!
The stress of the move wore down my immune system and made me susceptible to this illness. Infectious
Mononucleosis or Gland Fever are other names for this infection. Mono is caused by an infection called
Epstein - Barr virus. The most common symptoms of mono include, loss of energy, fatigue, swollen
glands, fever, sore throat and chills. I soon started to resent my mom for making me move. I secretly
blamed her for me getting sick.
In the fall of 2005, two towns later, I was finally feeling up to going back to school….or so I
thought. One month into the semester, I began throwing up everything I ate. My friends and family just
thought I was becoming bulimic. I was hospitalized for dehydration. I thought mono was bad, until this
illness came on. I was soon unable to get out of bed, feed myself, shower, go to the bathroom without
assistance, let alone see friends or go to school. A couple months later, we moved back to Orem, for
which I was thankful, because Mrs. Anderson came to teach me once again. It was such a huge blessing to
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me, because I could finally see someone who wasn’t afraid I would infect them. I was having to go to the
doctor every two weeks, and was quickly put on anti-depressants. Adding this pill to my daily regimen
brought me up to 12 pills in one day.
They ran more tests and soon learned I had developed an Autonomic Nervous System Disorder
caused by my lack of immune system due to Mono. According to heathline.com “Your Autonomic
Nervous System is made up of nerves that control those things that are “automatic” and needed for you
to survive. A few of those necessary things include blood pressure, heart rate, sweating and digestion of
your food.” Some of my symptoms include dizziness and fainting upon standing (Orthostatic
Hypotension), inability to alter heart rate with exercise, digestion difficulties such as vomiting,
constipation and diarrhea.
The years passed, we moved a handful more times and my sickness held on like a blood- sucking
leech. My depression worsened. I finally convinced my mom to let me spend my money I had saved to
buy a dog. She knew she would be the one taking care of it sooner or later, but she knew I was not in a
good place. That was one of the best decisions, to this day that I have ever made. Candee is her name, she
is a 12 pound Yorkie. She always stays by my side. She gives me motivation to get out of bed every day. I
would wake up, take her outside and sit and watch her. This really gave me something to again live for. I
soon made this a pattern, which helped me feel better and have more energy. I soon was well enough to
go back to school, which I was now high school and got a job at Red Robin. I soon overworked myself
and became bedridden once more.
My parents thought I was stupid for even trying to go back to school, because they “knew I would
fail”. The middle of my Junior Year of High School, I was failing every class I had taken at school and I
started to believe my parents. I started to push away my friends, because “no one wants to be friends with,
or date a broken car, when they could have a new one.” Or so says my mom. Mrs. Anderson did not
agree what so ever. She helped me pass not only my Junior Year, but my Senior Year of High School all
1 year before my graduating class, with a 3.9 GPA. I could not have been happier. Mrs. Anderson made
me believe that I could do and be anything I wanted, no matter my disability or what anyone said to me.
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As soon as I graduated I moved out of my mom’s house and moved into my dad’s Utah house while they
were living in Texas. That did not last long. My step mom accused me of lying about being sick “since
she never sees me pass out or throw up” so I moved out on my own, at 17 right away. I soon pushed all
my family and friends away, because I was sick of putting on a show and a happy face every day.
Because of my illnesses I was only able to work, and not go to school at the same time.
I did have a year or so that I was able to work, and live a semi- normal life. I met Adam in 2013
when I was working at Red Robin in Salt Lake, who didn’t see me as a “broken car.” He helped me learn
to manage my stress and depression so it would not get out of hand. I will not lie, I have considered
suicide many times, but I convinced myself that it would be selfish because so many people would blame
themselves due to their lack of sympathy.
August of 2014, made me feel worse than I ever have. I began to pass out 1-5 times daily. I was
hospitalized 4 different occasions, seen by a dozen doctors, 2 cardiologists and a neurologist. I was a
barely living, breathing mystery. No doctor could figure out what was wrong with me. I had a Loop
Monitor implanted above my heart in April, 2015 to monitor my rhythms. I had to quit my job at Red
Robin that I had, had for 6 years and apply for Disability. Once again, I could no longer shower by
myself, drive, walk alone, or get out of bed other than to use the restroom. The tests continued to show
negative results other than low blood pressure. Yet I continued to pass out which resulted in many black
eyes, and hundreds of weird stories to tell. I had to stay with my step mom and dad for a couple weeks,
because my dad hired me to do his payroll for his Texas companies. My step mom soon apologized for
accusing me of faking my illnesses once she saw me in this state. I still have a hard time getting over the
scar she left on my heart years ago.
To this day, I do not have an official diagnosis. I live day to day, and some days I feel better than
others. I still struggle with depression, but Candee, and my boyfriend of 2 years have helped me realize
that I am here for a reason, and I need to keep my head up and try to live each day as if it were my last. It
is easy to blame my mother for my health issues, but I have come to realize we all have certain trials in
our lives, and health is just one of mine. I am so thankful for the life I now live and things I can do that
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other people with serious diseases cannot. I am working on opening up to my friends and not just hiding
my pain. I do think that Mrs. Anderson to this day made me realize my potential, and for that I am truly
thankful! I am in college now, and with the help of the Disability Resource Center at SLCC and public
transportation, I feel I am almost living the life of a regular college student, other than being able to do
extracurricular activities of course.