Learning to Cope with Infertility
By Carolyn R. Spencer
SUMMARY
This article is about a woman named Carolyn who sought out the scriptures and words from
Latter-Day prophets to receive personal revelation and insight on how to deal and cope with
infertility.
At the beginning of the article she talks about how she questions why she could not get pregnant,
especially when she and her husband were very faithful people. For a while she just focused on
her career and education. They had a beautiful home and comfortable lifestyle, but all that her
and her husband wanted most was to have a family. Nothing else mattered more to them. She
talks about how she would dread certain holidays, like Mother’s Day or when people would ask
why she doesn’t have any children. She would always wonder why babies seemed to come
easily to some women and not to others.
She then decided to turn to the scriptures for guidance. She finds that there are many stories in
the scriptures about women who were barren and were unable to have children. The examples
that she gives are: Abraham’s wife, Sarah; Isaac’s wife, Rebekah; Elkanah’s wives, Hannah and
Peninnah; and Zacharias’s wife, Elizabeth. Each of these women were unable to conceive but
they had great faith and put their trust in God. When that happened, miracles started to come.
Carolyn then goes on to tell her own story. She had to have two surgeries and then began the
process of in vitro fertilization, but then doctors discovered that she was already expecting. Her
and her husband were stunned and could not believe that after so many years of waiting and
trying, they were finally pregnant. After their first child they felt that they should try for another.
The doctors said it would be easier the second time. After four years of fervent prayer and
fasting and more medical intervention, they had their second son. Then a few years had passed
and they felt the impression that they should try for a third child, but Carolyn struggled with guilt
because she felt that by receiving two miracles that it would be greedy of her to ask for another.
She talks about how she attends the temple for inspiration and tries to remember that the Lord
has his own time frame and if another child should come, it would be in the Lord’s hands. Then
after a year of being patient and enjoying her two children, she became pregnant a third time.
She then talks about how each person’s story is unique, but that she believes miracles do happen,
even if they don’t happen in the way we hope or expect.
RHETORICAL ANALYSIS
The intent of this article is to bring comfort to those who are struggling with infertility. It is
mostly geared towards couples that are of the LDS faith who are trying to cope with infertility
while being part of a religion that believes that we should “be fruitful, and multiply, and
replenish the earth” (Genesis 1:28). The message that Carolyn is trying to get across to her
audience is that there is hope even when you feel like there isn’t and that miracles can happen.
She does an excellent job of this by telling about how she handled the news of being “barren”
and how she coped with it. She wanted to be able to explain to her audience how it was hard for
her to handle and that she questioned a lot of things. She didn’t just talk about the happy ending
of finally being able to conceive, but she talks of her sorrow and struggle as well. This I’m sure
would bring a lot of comfort to someone that is struggling with infertility. They would be able to
relate to her.
Throughout the article Carolyn gives examples of different women in the scriptures that also
struggled with not being able to conceive. I believe that she uses these examples to not only tell
that infertility was an issue then like it is now, but also to explain that even though these women
were unable to have children, they still were faithful and did not forsake the Lord. She tells of
Sarah, Abraham’s wife, who “was barren; she had no child”, but learned that even when we
think the time has completely passed for a miracle to occur in our lives, it still can. “For Sarah
conceived, and bare Abraham a son in his old age, at the set time of which God had spoken to
him” (Genesis 21:2). She also tells about Rebekah, Isaac’s wife, and how she had been blessed
that she would “be…the mother of thousands of millions” (Genesis 24:60). However, despite
this blessing, she could not have children. Carolyn then explains about Elisabeth, Zacharias’s
wife and how she learned that infertility was not God’s punishment for her imperfections,
weaknesses, or unworthiness to be a mother. These examples of women from the scriptures give
the audience peace of mind and comfort. They also give them a better understanding of how
other women dealt with being infertile and what they did to cope with it.
Carolyn then talks about her story and how she was able to finally have children. By telling her
story it gives the audience a better understand of where Carolyn is coming from. If she
explained about the struggles of infertility but had no idea what it was like to deal with, then I
believe the audience would not be as willing to read what she had to say. By having her very
own experience told provides more appreciation of the article. Women who are in the same
situation are able to relate better and that is what most women want, is someone to relate to.
When she talks about how long she had to wait and how hard of a struggle it was for her and also
her husband, it brings comfort to the audience to know that they are not alone in their struggles.
The strategies and methods used by the author to meet what the audience wanted and needed was
very clear. For many couples or women that read this article, it will help them to be able to have
a better understanding of how to cope with infertility. It will especially help those that are
religious and have read the stories of these women in the scriptures. Couples with infertility
issues need to be able to hear others’ stories, so that it brings them hope.
My husband and I are in the same situation as Carolyn and her husband were. So this article was
directed towards me and that is the main reason why I chose to summarize and analyze it. It
seems as those many people don’t realize how hard this can be on a woman and her husband. It
can also be a strain on their relationship, but being able to know that there are other couples that
are going through the same thing helps to handle the situation a lot better. Carolyn did a
beautiful job at this and was able to convey to her audience that if they believe and are faithful,
those miracles can happen, but on the Lord’s time.
Works Cited
Spencer, C. R. (2012, June). "Learning to Cope with Infertility". The Ensign.